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Title: John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 1 (of 3) - From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
Author: Leech, John
Language: English
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Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 1 (of 3) - From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"" ***

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[Transcriber's Note:

Italized text delinminated with underscores (_).

There are a few instances of larger font size words, these are delimited
with plus signs (+).]

  JOHN LEECH'S

  PICTURES OF LIFE AND CHARACTER.


[Illustration]

  FROM THE COLLECTION OF

  "Mr. Punch."


[Illustration:
  Yours Faithfully
  John Leech]


  JOHN LEECH'S

  PICTURES
  OF LIFE AND
  CHARACTER

[Illustration]

  From the Collection of "MR. PUNCH."]

  LONDON:
  BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., 8, 9, 10, BOUVERIE STREET, E.C.
  1886.

  LONDON:
  BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., PRINTERS, WHITEFRIARS



  JOHN LEECH'S PICTURES

[Illustration]

  OF

  LIFE AND CHARACTER.


[Illustration: _A LATE ARRIVAL._

_Page._ "FANCY BALL, SIR! NO, SIR! MISSUS'S FANCY BALL, SIR, WERE LAST
TOOSDAY, SIR."


[Illustration: _SNUFFED OUT._

"MY EYE, TOMMY! IF 'ERE AIN'T THE SCOTCHMAN HOUT OF THE SNUFF SHOP A
TAKIN' A WALK."]


[Illustration: _THE TEST OF GALLANTRY._

_Conductor._ "WILL ANY GENT BE SO GOOD AS FOR TO TAKE THIS YOUNG LADY
IN HIS LAP?"]


[Illustration: _ENCOURAGING._

_Old Gentleman._ "I WANT SOME SHAVING SOAP, MY GOOD LAD."

_Boy._ "YES, SIR, HERE'S AN HARTICLE I CAN RECOMMEND, FOR I ALWAYS USE
IT MYSELF!"]


[Illustration: _TAKING IT COOLLY._

_Old Gent._ "NOW, THEN, CABMAN, HOW MUCH TO THE STRAND?"

_Cabman._ "SIX SHILLIN'!"

_Old Gent._ "THAT'S TOO MUCH."

_Cabman._ "WELL: WHAT YOU PLEASE! IT'S TOO HOT TO DISPUTE ABOUT
TRIFLES."]


[Illustration: _DID YOU EVER?_

_Old Gentleman (politely)._ "OH, CONDUCTOR! I SHALL FEEL GREATLY
OBLIGED TO YOU IF YOU WOULD PROCEED, FOR I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT IN THE
STRAND, AND I AM AFRAID I SHALL BE TOO LATE."

_Conductor (slamming the door)._ "GO ON, JIM! HERE'S AN OLD COVE A
CUSSIN AND A SWEARING LIKE ANY THINK!!!]


[Illustration: _WHAT THEY SAID TO THEMSELVES._

_Honourable Mr. Fiddle._ "I WISH THAT CONCEITED ASS, FADDLE, WOULD GO!"

_Captain Faddle._ "THAT STUPID IDIOT, FIDDLE, NEVER KNOWS WHEN HE'S IN
THE WAY!"

_Rich Widow._ "I SHALL BE UNCOMMONLY GLAD WHEN BOTH OF THESE SIMPLETONS
TAKE THEIR DEPARTURE."]


[Illustration: _PROPRIETY._

PERSONS REPRESENTED. SARAH-JANE. MATILDA.

_Scene--Camblin Town._

_Sarah-Jane._ "OH! YOU 'ORRID DREADFUL STORY! I DIDN'T."

_Matilda._ "YOU DID NOW, FOR I SEE HIM. I SEE HIM KISS YER. AND HERE
HAVE I BIN ENGAGED TO TOMMY PRICE FOR YEARS, AND NEVER SO MUCH AS
WALKED ARM-IN-ARM WITH HIM!"]


[Illustration: _A COURT DRESS._

"OH! JUST AIN'T PEOPLE PROUD WHAT HAVE GOT PAIRASOLES!"]


[Illustration: _A VALUABLE ANIMAL._

_Gentleman (fond of dogs)._ "SAGACIOUS? OH, VERY! WHY, HE NEVER SEES AN
OLD GENTLEMAN, BUT HE PULLS OFF HIS HAT AND RUNS AWAY WITH IT. HE'LL
FETCH A DUCK OFF A POND; AND HE'S SUCH A NOTION OF TAKING CARE OF
HIMSELF THAT HE COSTS ME FULL A GUINEA A WEEK FOR THE LEGS OF MUTTON HE
STEALS."]


[Illustration: _CRUEL!_

_Snob._ "'AVE A CIGAR, COACHEE?"

_Swell Busman._ "NO, THANKEE--I ONLY SMOKE TOBACCER!"]


[Illustration: _FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE._

_Policeman._ "HA! THAT'S THE WAY YOU DRINK THE BEER WHEN YOU'RE SENT OF
A HERRAND?"

_Genius._ "AND THE RIGHT WAY TOO--AIN'T IT?"]


[Illustration: _THE JOYS OF OCEAN._

_Smith._ "WELL, BROWN! THIS IS BETTER THAN BEING STEWED UP IN A
RAILWAY! EH?"

_Brown (faintly)._ "OH--IM-MEASURABLY SU-PERIOR."]


[Illustration: _UNFEELING OBSERVATION._

_Vulgar Little Boy._ "OH, LOOK HERE, BILL! HERE'S A POOR BOY BIN AND
HAD THE HINFLUENZA, AND NOW HE'S BROKE OUT ALL OVER BUTTONS AND RED
STRIPES."]


[Illustration: _IN FOR IT._

"HALLO, SIR! ARE YOU AWARE YOU'RE TRESPASSING THERE?"]


[Illustration: _THE CORRECT MODE OF RIDING IN ROTTEN ROW._

GALLOP AS HARD AS YOU CAN AMONGST THE LADIES. IT CREATES A SENSATION!!]


[Illustration: _A HACK FOR THE DAY._

_Stable-Keeper (to little Gent)._ "SET TO KICKING, AND THEN BOLTED INTO
A SHOP! DID HE, NOW? AH! HE ALWAYS WAS A _LIGHT-'ARTED_ 'OSS."]


[Illustration: _SPORTING EXTRAORDINARY--THE OLD DOG POINTS CAPITALLY._

"I TELL YER WHAT IT IS, SAM! IF THIS FOOL OF A DOG IS GOING TO STAND
STILL LIKE THIS HERE IN EVERY FIELD HE COMES TO, WE MAY AS WELL SHUT UP
SHOP, FOR WE SHAN'T FIND NO PARTRIDGES."]


[Illustration: _THE GREENWICH DINNER.--A CONVIVIAL MOMENT._

_Gentleman (under the influence of White Bait)._ "WELL, OLD
FELLA--REKLECT--PRESHENT COMPANY DINE HERE WITH ME EVERY MONDAY,
THURSDAY, AN' SAT'DY--FRIDAY--NO--TOOSDAY, THURSDAY, AND SAT'DY--MIND
AN' DON' FORGET--I SAY--WHAT A GOOD FELLA YOU ARE--GREATEST 'STEEM AND
REGARD FOR YOU, OLD FELLA!!!"]


[Illustration: _STRONG ASSERTION._

_Omnibus Driver (addressing another)._ "YOU'RE A PRETTY FELLOW, YOU
ARE. YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN? WHY, I'VE SEEN A BETTER MAN THAN YOU MADE
OUT OF TEA-LEAVES!"]


[Illustration: _ALARMING SYMPTOMS AFTER EATING BOILED BEEF AND
GOOSEBERRY PIE._

_Little Boy._ "OH, LOR, MAR, I FEEL JUST EXACTLY AS IF MY JACKET WAS
BUTTONED."]


[Illustration: _VERY FINE FRUIT._

_Newspaper Boy (reads)._ "A GENTLEMAN IN THE N-E-I-G-H--NEIGHBOURHOOD
OF----, HAS AT THE PRESENT TIME SEVERAL E-NORMOUS GOOSEBERRIES IN HIS
GARDEN, WHICH MEASURE TEN INCHES IN C-I-R-CIR C-U-M-CUM F-E-R-FER
E-N-C-E-ENCE CIRCUMFERENCE, AND ARE OF THE A-S-AS ASTON ASTONISHING
WEIGHT OF THREE HOUNCES HEACH."

_His Friend._ "OH, WHAT WHOPPERS! WOULDN'T I LIKE A PINT!"]


[Illustration: _A PHILOSOPHER._

_Harriet._ "ST! ST! ST! DEAR ME, NOW, I'VE BROKEN MY COMB, AND ALL MY
BACK HAIR'S COME DOWN. WHAT WITH BRUSHING, AND DRESSING, AND CURLING,
AND ONE THING AND THE OTHER, WHAT A PLAGUE ONE'S HAIR IS TO BE SURE!"

_Young Fellow._ "WELL, HARRIET, WE ARE ALL BOTHERED WITH SOMETHING.
LOOK AT US MEN; WE HAVE TO SHAVE EVERY MORNING, SUMMER AND WINTER!"]


[Illustration: _MATERNAL SOLICITUDE._

_Mamma._ "GEORGINA! GEORGINA!"

_Georgina._ "WELL, MA. HOW YOU DO FIDGET ONE!" _ Mamma._ "SHOULDERS,
MY LOVE; SHOULDERS! PRAY HOLD YOURSELF UP. YOU'RE STOOPING AGAIN
DREADFULLY."]


[Illustration: _ALARMING OCCURRENCE._

_Chorus of Unprotected Females._ "CONDUCTOR! STOP! CONDUCTOR!
OMNIBUS-MAN! HERE'S A GENTLEMAN HAD AN ACCIDENT AND BROKE A JAR OF
LEECHES, AND THEY'RE ALL OVER THE OMNIBUS!"]


[Illustration: _FANCY PORTRAIT._

THE INDIVIDUAL WHO SENDS A FIFTY-POUND NOTE FOR UNPAID INCOME-TAX TO
THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER.]


[Illustration: _VERY FINE TALKING!_

"NOW, THEN, SIR, JUMP UP ON THE ROOF, AND LOOK SHARP, PLEASE, SIR,
HERE'S T'OTHER BUS A-COMING."]


[Illustration: _HOW TO SUIT THE TASTE._

_Waiter._ "GENT IN NO. 4 LIKES A HOLDER AND A THINNER WINE, DOES HE? I
WONDER HOW HE'LL LIKE THIS BIN?"]


[Illustration: _MAKING THE MOST OF IT._]


[Illustration: _AN AFFAIR OF IMPORTANCE._

_Harriet._ "OH! I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE COME, BLANCHE! I'VE BEEN SO
PERPLEXED I COULD SCARCELY SLEEP ALL NIGHT."

_Blanche._ "WELL! WHAT IS IT, DEAR?"

_Harriet._ "WHY, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HAVE MY NEW MERINO FROCK
VIOLET OR DARK BLUE!"]


[Illustration: _A LONDON GENT ABROAD._

_Scene--A Café in Paris._

_London Gent._ "GARCONG! TAS DE CORFEE!"

_Garçon._ "BIEN, M'SIEU'--VOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ZEE 'TIMES'?"

_London Gent._ "HANG THE FELLER! NOW, I WONDER HOW THE DOOSE HE FOUND
OUT I WAS AN ENGLISHMAN!"]


[Illustration: _ROMANCE AND REALITY._

_Beautiful Being (who is all soul)._ "HOW GRAND, HOW SOLEMN, DEAR
FREDERICK, THIS IS! I REALLY THINK THE OCEAN IS MORE BEAUTIFUL UNDER
THIS ASPECT THAN UNDER ANY OTHER!"

_Frederick (who has about as much poetry in him as a Codfish)._
"HM--AH! YES. PER-WAPS. BY THE WAY, BLANCHE--THERE'S A FELLA SWIMPING.
S'POSE WE ASK HIM IF HE CAN GET US SOME PWAWNS FOR BWEAKFAST TO-MOWAW
MORNING?"]


[Illustration: _SYMPTOMS OF WET WEATHER._

_Tom._ "HOLLO, SAM, WHAT THE JUICE ARE YOU CARRYING OF?"

_Sam._ "'CLARISSA ARLO,' FOR MISSIS."]


[Illustration: _PITY THE SORROWS OF THE POOR POLICE._

"LOR, SOOSAN! HOW'S A FELLER TO EAT MEAT SUCH WEATHER AS THIS? NOW, A
BIT O' PICKLED SALMON AND COWCUMBER, OR A LOBSTER SALAD MIGHT DO."]


[Illustration: _THE DERBY EPIDEMIC._

GENTLEMEN,

OWING TO SUDDEN AND VERY SEVERE INDISPOSITION, I REGRET TO SAY THAT I
SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO ATTEND THE OFFICE TO-DAY. I HOPE, HOWEVER, TO BE
ABLE TO RESUME MY DUTIES TO-MORROW.

  I AM, GENTLEMEN,
  YOURS VERY OBEDIENTLY,
  PHILIP COX.]


[Illustration: _HOW TO GET RID OF A GRATIS PATIENT._

"SO YOU'VE TAKEN ALL YOUR STUFF, AND DON'T FEEL ANY BETTER, EH? WELL,
THEN, WE MUST ALTER THE TREATMENT; YOU MUST GET YOUR HEAD SHAVED; AND
IF YOU WILL CALL HERE TO-MORROW ABOUT ELEVEN, MY PUPIL HERE WILL PUT A
SETON IN THE BACK OF YOUR NECK."]


[Illustration: _THE FISH DINNER._

"THE WHITEBAIT SEEM VERY LARGE, WAITER?"

"YES, SIR; VERY FINE AT PRESENT, SIR."]


[Illustration: _A HIGHLAND GAME IN A LONDON STREET._

PORTRAIT OF THE BOY WHO WON THE PRIZE FOR "PUTTING A STONE" THROUGH A
WINDOW.]


[Illustration: _A QUIET WEED._

_Guard._ "SOME ONE BEEN SMOKING, I THINK?"

_Passenger._ "WHAT! SMOKING! THAT'S VERY REPREHENSIBLE. PERHAPS IT WAS
THE CLERICAL GENTLEMAN WHO HAS JUST GOT OUT OF THE NEXT COMPARTMENT."]


[Illustration: _PRODIGIOUS!_

_Schoolmistress._ "YOU SEE, MY LOVE--IF I PUNCTURE THIS INDIA-RUBBER
BALL IT WILL COLLAPSE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

_Child._ "OH, YES, I UNDERSTAND--IF YOU PRICK IT, IT WILL GO SQUASH."]


[Illustration: _BLESS THE BOY!_

_Old Lady._ "NOW, ARTHUR, WHICH WILL YOU HAVE? SOME OF THIS NICE
PUDDING, OR SOME JAM TART?"

_Juvenile._ "NO PASTRY, THANK-YE, AUNT. IT SPOILS ONE'S WINE SO. I
DON'T MIND A DEVILLED BISCUIT, THO', BY-AND-BY, WITH MY CLARET."

(_Old Lady turns all manner of colours._]


[Illustration: _HOOKING AND EYEING._

_Angelina (the Wife of his Bussum)._ "WELL, EDWIN, IF YOU CAN'T MAKE
THE 'THINGS,' AS YOU CALL THEM, MEET, YOU NEED NOT SWEAR SO. IT'S
REALLY QUITE DREADFUL."]


[Illustration: _A GAY YOUNG FELLOW._

_Young Rapid._ "YOU ARE QUITE SURE THIS IS THE CORRECT DRESS FOR A
YOUNG FELLOW OF THAT PERIOD, EH?"

_Mr. Noses._ "OH, PERFECTLY CORRECT, SIR; AND REALLY LOOKS SPLENDID ON
YER!"]


[Illustration: _"DE GUSTIBUS," &c., &c._

_Snip._ "THAT'S A SWEET THING FOR A WAISTCOAT, SIR, AND WOULD LOOK
UNCOMMON WELL UPON YOU, SIR!"]


[Illustration: _JEALOUSY._

_Betrothed (who does not dance the Polka)._ "I SHOULD LIKE TO PUNCH HIS
HEAD--A CONCEITED BEAST!"]


[Illustration: _A BON-BON FROM A JUVENILE PARTY._

_Alfred._ "I SAY, FRANK, AREN'T YOU GOING TO HAVE SOME SUPPER?"

_Frank._ "A--NOT AT PRESENT. I SHALL WAIT TILL THE WOMEN LEAVE THE
ROOM."]


[Illustration: _SPECULATORS._

"THIS AIN'T SUCH A WERRY BAD IDEA, IS IT, JIM? HERE'S THE GREAT
DIDDLESEX WRITES TO ME FOR FIVE BOB ON A HUNDRED AN' FIFTY SHARES; AND,
TO SAVE TROUBLE, VANTS THE NAME OF MY SOLICITUR."]


[Illustration: _A PROFESSIONAL MAN._

_Medical Student._ "WELL, OLD FELLOW, SO YOU'VE 'PASSED' AT LAST."

_Consulting Surgeon._ "YES; BUT I DON'T GET MUCH PRACTICE,
SOMEHOW--ALTHOUGH I AM NEARLY ALWAYS AT HOME, IN CASE ANY ONE SHOULD
CALL."]


[Illustration: _PUTTING HIS FOOT IN IT._

_Little Hairdresser (mildly)._ "YER 'AIR'S VERY THIN ON THE TOP, SIR."

_Gentleman (of ungovernable temper)._ "MY HAIR THIN ON THE TOP, SIR?
AND WHAT IF IT IS? CONFOUND YOU, YOU PUPPY, DO YOU THINK I CAME HERE TO
BE INSULTED AND TOLD OF MY PERSONAL DEFECTS? I'LL THIN YOUR TOP!!"]


[Illustration: _MERMAIDS AT PLAY; OR, A NICE LITTLE WATER PARTY._]


[Illustration: _COMING TO THE POINT._

_Lover._ "SWEET GIRL, LET ME--HERE--AWAY FROM THE BUSY HUM OF MEN--AND
WHERE NO MORTAL EYE CAN SEE US--DECLARE THAT PASSION WHICH--WHICH--"

_Lady._ "THERE! FOR GOODNESS' SAKE GET UP, MR. TOMKINS, AND DON'T BE
RIDICULOUS--JUST CONSIDER ALL THE TELESCOPES FROM THE PARADE!!"]


[Illustration: _A LITTLE SURPRISE._

_Little Foot Page (unexpectedly)._ "HERE'S SOME GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
SIR."]


[Illustration: _INTERESTING SCENE DURING THE CANVASS FOR MR. ----. NOT
A HUNDRED MILES FROM ----._

_Wife of Free and Independent._ "OH! AIN'T HE A HAFFABLE GENTLEMAN,
TUMMUS?"

_Free and Independent._ "AH! JUST AIN'T 'UN. I SHOULDN'T WONDER IF I
WARN'T ABLE TO PAY MY RENT TO-MORRER!"]


[Illustration: _MURDER WILL OUT._

_Mrs. Smith._ "IS MRS. BROWN IN?"

_Jane._ "NO, MEM, SHE'S NOT AT HOME."

_Little Girl._ "OH! WHAT A HORRID STORY, JANE! MA'S IN THE KITCHEN,
HELPING COOK!"]


[Illustration: _DOING A LITTLE BILL._

"YOU SEE, OLD BOY, IT'S THE MEREST FORM IN THE WORLD. YOU HAVE ONLY
TO--WHAT THEY CALL--ACCEPT IT, AND I'LL FIND THE MONEY WHEN IT COMES
DUE."

_Victim._ "COME ALONG--GIVE US THE PEN."]


[Illustration: _A PLEASANT STREET GAME._

_Old Gent._ "CONFOUND THE BOYS AND THEIR TOPS! WHERE ARE THE POLICE?"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. I.

THE COOK SAYS THAT SHE THINKS THERE'S A SLATE LOOSE ON THE ROOF OF
THE HOUSE, FOR THE WATER COMES INTO THE SERVANTS' BEDROOM. MR. BRIGGS
REPLIES THAT THE SOONER IT IS PUT TO RIGHTS THE BETTER, BEFORE IT GOES
ANY FURTHER--AND HE WILL SEE ABOUT IT.]


[Illustration: No. II.

MR. BRIGGS HAVING BEEN TOLD BY THE BUILDER THAT A "LITTLE COMPO" IS
ALL THAT IS WANTED, THE FIRST STEP IS TAKEN TOWARDS MAKING THINGS
COMFORTABLE.]


[Illustration: _HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS._

MASTER JACKEY HAVING SEEN A "PROFESSOR" OF POSTURING, HAS A PRIVATE
PERFORMANCE OF HIS OWN IN THE NURSERY.]


[Illustration: _SOMETHING LIKE A HOLIDAY._

_Pastrycook._ "WHAT HAVE YOU HAD, SIR?"

_Boy._ "I'VE HAD TWO JELLIES, SEVEN OF THEM, AND ELEVEN OF THEM, AND
SIX OF THOSE, AND FOUR BATH BUNS, A SAUSAGE ROLL, TEN ALMOND CAKES, AND
A BOTTLE OF GINGER BEER."]


[Illustration: _GREAT WANT OF VENERATION._

_Puer loquitur._ "I SAY LOBSTER, SHALL I GO AND FETCH YOU A CAB?"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. III.]


[Illustration: No. IV.

NO TIME HAS BEEN LOST. MR. BRIGGS FINDS, ON GETTING OUT OF BED AT FIVE
A.M. THAT THE WORKPEOPLE HAVE ALREADY COMMENCED PUTTING THE ROOF TO
RIGHTS.]


[Illustration: _DOMESTIC BLISS._

_Paterfamilias._ "I CANNOT CONCEIVE, MY LOVE, _WHAT_ IS THE MATTER WITH
MY WATCH; I THINK IT MUST WANT CLEANING."

_Pet Child._ "OH, NO! PAPA DEAR! I DON'T THINK IT WANTS CLEANING,
BECAUSE BABY AND I HAD IT WASHING IN THE BASIN FOR EVER SO LONG THIS
MORNING!"]


[Illustration: _THE FASHIONS._

A FRIENDLY HINT TO YOUNG LADIES WHO WEAR THOSE DEAR DELIGHTFUL BARÈGE
DRESSES. ALWAYS LET THE SLIP (OR WHATEVER THE MYSTERIOUS GARMENT IS
CALLED) BE AS LONG AS THE OUTER DRESS!]


[Illustration: _INNOCENCE._

"OH, SIR! NO, SIR! PLEASE, SIR, IT AIN'T ME, SIR! IT'S THE OTHER BOYS,
SIR!"]


[Illustration: _UNLUCKY._

"VAT'S THE MATTER, EH?"

"OH, THERE'S ALWAYS A SOMETHINK! VY, I'VE BIN AND LEFT MY HOPERA-GLASS
IN A CAB NOW."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. V.

JUST TO SHOW HOW ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER--MR. BRIGGS (WHO HAS COME
OUT ON THE LEADS WHILE THE MEN ARE GONE TO DINNER) IS SHOWN BY THE
BUILDER HOW IT WOULD BE THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD TO "THROW"
HIS PASSAGE INTO HIS DINING ROOM, AND BUILD A NEW ENTRANCE HALL WITH
A SLIGHT CONSERVATORY OVER IT.--TO THE RIGHT OF THE CARTOON IS MRS.
BRIGGS(!) WHO THINKS MR. B. HAS TAKEN LEAVE OF HIS SENSES.]


[Illustration: _EVENING PARTIES._

"BILL, YOU GOES OUT A GOOD DEAL.--TELL US, IS IT THE KERRECT THING TO
TAKE ONE'S 'AT INTO A HEVENING PARTY?"]


[Illustration: _A DELICIOUS MORSEL._

_Jacky._ "HALLO, TOMMY! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?"

_Tommy._ "HOYSTER."

_Jacky._ "OH! GIVE US A BIT."]


[Illustration: _DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS._

_Flunkey._ "APOLLO? HAH! I DESSAY IT'S VERY CHEAP, BUT IT AIN'T MY
IDEER OF A GOOD FIGGER!"]


[Illustration: _OUR NATIONAL DEFENCES._

_Small Briton._ "THE FRENCH INVADE US, INDEED! AND WHAT SHOULD WE BE
ABOUT ALL THE TIME?--WHY, WE SHOULD RISE LIKE ONE MAN!"]


[Illustration: _GENTEEL PRACTICE._

_Apprentice._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, SHALL I FILL UP MRS. TWADDLE'S
DRAUGHTS WITH WATER?"

_Practitioner._ "DEAR, DEAR ME, MR. BUMPS, HOW OFTEN MUST I MENTION THE
SUBJECT? WE NEVER USE WATER--_Aqua destillata_, IF YOU PLEASE!"]


[Illustration: _THE GOOD LITTLE BOY._

_Bathing Woman._ "MASTER FRANKY WOULDN'T CRY! NO! NOT HE!--HE'LL COME
TO HIS MARTHA, AND BATHE LIKE A MAN!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. VI.

TABLEAU, REPRESENTING FURTHER IMPROVEMENTS IN MR. BRIGGS'S
HOUSE--DESTRUCTION OF THE WALL WHICH SEPARATES THE PARLOUR FROM THE
PASSAGE.

(_N.B.--As the wall is only lath and plaster, of course little or no
mess is made. Mrs. Briggs says she hopes Mr. B. is satisfied now._)]


[Illustration: _BITTER SARCASM._]


[Illustration: _MAL-APROPOS._

_Gentleman (in Shower-Bath)._ "HOLLO! HOLLO! WHO'S THERE? WHAT THE
DEUCE DO YOU WANT?"

_Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, HERE'S THE BUTCHER, AND MISSUS SAYS WHAT
WILL YOU HAVE FOR DINNER TO-DAY?"]


[Illustration: _WE ALL HAVE OUR TROUBLES._

_Sister Mary._ "WHY, CHARLEY, DEAR BOY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU SEEM
QUITE MISERABLE!"

_Charley._ "AH! AIN'T I JUST! HERE'S MA' SAYS I MUST WEAR TURN-DOWN
COLLARS TILL CHRISTMAS, AND THERE'S YOUNG SIDNEY BOWLER (WHO'S NOT HALF
SO TALL AS I AM) HAS HAD STICK-UPS AND WHITE CHOKERS FOR EVER SO LONG!"]


[Illustration: _THE RULING PASSION._

"NOW, TELL ME, DEAR, IS THERE ANYTHING NEW IN THE FASHIONS?"]


[Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE WARM BATHING._

"HOLLO! HI! HERE! SOMEBODY! I'VE TURNED ON THE HOT WATER, AND I CAN'T
TURN IT OFF AGAIN!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. VII.

_Scene: Principal barricade at Mr. Briggs's House._--OWING TO THE
INCOMPLETE STATE OF THE ALTERATIONS, MR. BRIGGS IS OBLIGED TO ENTER
HIS HOUSE THROUGH THE PARLOUR WINDOW. THE POLICEMAN MISTAKES HIM FOR A
BURGLAR, AND ACTS ACCORDINGLY. IN MR. BRIGGS'S HAND MAY BE OBSERVED A
FINE LOBSTER, WHICH HE HAS BROUGHT HOME TO CONCILIATE MRS. B.]


[Illustration: _THE TROOPS AND THE WEATHER._]


[Illustration: _PROPER PRIDE._

A SKETCH AT A RAILWAY STATION.]


[Illustration: _JUST THE MAN._

"PLEASE, SIR, DID YOU WANT ANYBODY TO KEEP ORDER ON THESE HERE HUSTINGS
ON POLLING DAY?"]


[Illustration: _A REGULAR CUSTOMER._

"HA'PENNY CANDLE, PLEASE, AND BE QUICK, FOR MOTHER WANTS HER TEA."

"OH, YES, OF COURSE, MISS; COULD WE SEND IT ANYWHERE FOR YER?"]


[Illustration: _ALARMING INTELLIGENCE._

_Swell Mobsman (reads)._ "'ARRANGEMENTS ARE MAKING TO CONNECT ALL THE
POLICE OFFICES WITH THE ELECTRIC TELEGRAPH.' WELL, I HAM BLOWED!"]


[Illustration: MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.

No. VIII.

SOMEHOW OR OTHER, EVER SINCE THE ALTERATIONS, THE CHIMNEYS HAVE TAKEN
TO SMOKE INTOLERABLY. THE BUILDER IS ASSURING MR. BRIGGS THAT BY SOME
VERY SIMPLE CONTRIVANCE THEY CAN BE EFFECTUALLY CURED.]


[Illustration: _TAKING CHANGE._

_Conductor_. "ALL RIGHT, JIM. PUSH ALONG, I'VE SERVED THE OLD GAL OUT
THIS TIME."

_Old Lady._ "HERE, STOP! CONDUCTOR! I WON'T TAKE CHANGE FOR A
FIVE-SHILLING PIECE IN HALF-PENCE--THAT I WON'T! HERE, POLICE!
CONDUCTOR!" &C.]


[Illustration: _THE INTERESTING STORY._

_First Ticket Porter._ "AND SO, YOU KNOW, THAT'S ALL I KNOWS ABOUT IT."

_Second Ticket Porter._ "WELL! I DON'T KNOW AS EVER I KNOWED A MAN AS
KNOWS AS MUCH AS YOU KNOWS."]


[Illustration: _MUCH TOO CONSIDERATE._

_Robinson._ "THERE, BROWN, MY BOY, THAT'S AS FINE A GLASS OF WINE AS
YOU CAN GET ANYWHERE."

_Mrs. Brown._ "A-HEM! AUGUSTUS, MY DE-AR. YOU ARE SURELY NEVER GOING TO
TAKE PORT WINE? YOU KNOW IT NEVER AGREES WITH YOU, MY LOVE!"]


[Illustration: _GALLANTRY._]


[Illustration: _LA MODE._

_Gus (who is always so full of his nonsense)._ "DASH MY BUTTONS,
ELLEN! THAT'S A STUNNING WAISTCOAT. I WISH YOU'D GIVE US YOUR TAILOR'S
ADDRESS."

_Ellen._ "DON'T YOU BE RUDE, SIR--AND TAKE YOUR ARMS OFF THE PIANO."]


[Illustration: _A FASHION IN PINS._

"A PIN FOR YOUR SCARF, SIR? HERE'S AN ARTICLE WE HAVE SOLD A GREAT MANY
OF."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. IX.

ENVELOPE CONTAINING THE BUILDER'S LITTLE ACCOUNT AGAINST MR.
BRIGGS--MUCH TOO SERIOUS TO JEST UPON.]


[Illustration: No. X.

THE UNSETTLED STATE OF THE HOUSE FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS HAS SO
DISORDERED BRIGGS, THAT HIS MEDICAL ADVISER RECOMMENDS A LITTLE HORSE
EXERCISE BY WAY OF A CHANGE, AND HIS EQUESTRIAN PLEASURES BEGIN.]


[Illustration: _SOMETHING LIKE A BROTHER._

_Flora._ "THAT'S A VERY PRETTY WAISTCOAT, EMILY!"

_Emily._ "YES, DEAR. IT BELONGS TO MY BROTHER CHARLES. WHEN HE GOES OUT
OF TOWN HE PUTS ME ON THE FREE-LIST, AS HE CALLS IT, OF HIS WARDROBE.
ISN'T IT KIND?"]"


[Illustration: _A DUMB WAITER._

_Old Gentleman._ "WHAT THE DEUCE IS THE REASON, SIR, YOU DON'T ANSWER
WHEN YOU ARE CALLED?"

(The reason is obvious. The poor child has his mouth full of green peas
and jam tart.)]


[Illustration: _THE LOST ONE._

_Boy._ "IF YOU PLEASE, M', WAS YOU A LOOKING FOR A LITTLE DOG?"

_Young Ladies._ "YES! OH, YES!"

_Boy._ "WAS IT A SPANNEL, MUM?"

_Young Ladies_. "OH, YES! A MOST BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SPANIEL, WITH VERY
LONG EARS."

_Boy._ "AH, THEN, MUM, IT'S THE SAME AS FLEW AT MASTER'S BIG DOG HERE,
WOT'S BIN AND SWALLERED OF IT."]


[Illustration: _POP._

APPALLING RESULT OF INCAUTIOUSLY TAKING TOO MUCH SODA TO CORRECT
ACIDITY.]


[Illustration: _REAL ENJOYMENT_.

_Annie._ "GOOD-BYE, DEAR, YOU MUST COME AGAIN SOON, AND SPEND A GOOD
LONG DAY, AND THEN I CAN SHOW YOU ALL MY NEW THINGS."

_Clara._ "OH! THAT WILL BE NICE! GOOD-BYE, DEAR." (_Kiss and exit._)]


[Illustration: _FROM A BEAUTIFUL MINIATURE._]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. I.

_Dealer._ "I SHOULD SAY IT WAS JUST THE HOSS YOU WANT, SIR; ONLY YOU
MUST DECIDE AT ONCE, BECAUSE THERE'S SEVERAL PARTIES VERY SWEET UPON
HIM. HE'S A GENTLEMAN'S HOSS, SIR, AND CARRIES HIS OWN HEAD, SIR!"

_Mr. Briggs._ "BLESS MY HEART!" (_Buys him._)]


[Illustration: _THE RISING GENERATION._

_Clever Juvenile (loq.)._ "SHAKSPEARE? POOH! FOR MY PART I CONSIDER
SHAKSPEARE A MUCH OVER-RATED MAN."]


[Illustration: _AN EXCELLENT WINE._

"THE BEST OF CLARET IS, THAT YOU MAY DRINK ANY (_hic_) QUANTITY YOU
LIKE, WITHOUT FEELING ILL."]


[Illustration: _WHAT IS THIS?_

QUITE A NEW SENSATION FOR THE LUXURIOUS, ON COLD MORNINGS. "USE HOT
WATER, AND LOOK AT YOUR SHOWER-BATH!"]


[Illustration: _DOMESTIC BLISS._

_Time, half-past three; thermometer 30°._

_William._ "WHAT A VIOLENT RINGING THERE IS AT THE STREET-DOOR BELL!"

_Maria._ "OH! I KNOW WHAT IT IS, DEAR. IT'S THE SWEEPS· AND I DARE SAY
THE GIRLS DON'T HEAR. JUST RUN UP AND KNOCK AT THEIR ROOM DOOR."]


[Illustration: _MEN OF BUSINESS._

MONEY.--WANTED FROM £300 TO £400 TO BRING FORWARD AN ARTICLE THAT MUST
IN A FEW YEARS REALISE A HANDSOME FORTUNE TO THE PROPRIETORS. TO ANY
YOUNG MAN WHO IS NOT OF BUSINESS HABITS, WITH THE ABOVE SUM AT COMMAND,
THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR INVESTMENT SELDOM MET WITH. REFERENCES
EXCHANGED.--NO PROFESSED MONEY-LENDER NEED APPLY.]


[Illustration: _ANGLERS HEAR STRANGE THINGS._

_Piscator._ "ARE THERE ANY BARBEL ABOUT HERE, GOV'NOR?"

_Host._ "ANY BARBEL ABOUT HERE!! I SHOULD RAYTHER THINK THERE WAS A
FEW; HERE'S THE PICTUR O' WUN MY LITTLE BOY KETCHED JUST HOPPOSIT."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. II.

_MR. BRIGGS TRIES HIS HORSE._

STRIKING EFFECT ON MEETING ONE OF THOSE NASTY OMNIBUSSES.]


[Illustration: _THE ALDERMAN'S ADVICE TO HIS SON._

_Mr. Gobble._ "YOU SEE, SAM, YOU ARE A WERRY YOUNG MAN: AND WHEN I AM
TOOK AWAY (WHICH, IN THE COMMON COURSE OF EWENTS, CAN'T BE WERRY LONG
FUST), YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF PROPERTY. NOW, I'VE ONLY ONE PIECE
OF ADWICE TO GIVE YOU. IT'S THIS--AND BY ALL MEANS ACT UPON IT:--LAY
DOWN PLENTY OF PORT IN YOUR YOUTH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A GOOD BOTTLE OF
WINE IN YOUR OLD AGE."]


[Illustration: _A JACK TAR._

BACK VIEW OF THE ELEPHANT AT THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS]


[Illustration: _MAY DIFFERENCE OF OPINION NEVER ALTER FRIENDSHIP._

_Dumpy Young Lady._ "WELL, FOR MY PART, MATILDA, I LIKE LONG WAISTS AND
FLOUNCES."]


[Illustration: _THE PROGRESS OF SLANG._

"WHY, WHAT A PRETTY NEW FROCK ALFRED HAS!"

_Prodigy (who picks up everything so readily)._ "AH, AIN'T IT A
STUNNER?"]


[Illustration: _AWFUL OCCURRENCE AT AN EVENING PARTY._

"MY GOODNESS, EMILY! THEY'RE BEGINNING THE QUADRILLE, AND HERE'S ALL MY
'BACK HAIR' COMING DOWN!! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?"]


[Illustration: _SKETCH NEAR BURTON CRESCENT._

"OH! WOT A SHAME! THEY'VE BEEN AND SPIKED ALL THE POSTES."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. III.

MR. BRIGGS HAVING PARTED WITH HIS LAD FOR MISCONDUCT, SOME YOUNG MEN
WITHOUT ENCUMBRANCE APPLY TO "LOOK AFTER" HIS HORSE.]


[Illustration: _NEVER SATISFIED._

_Old Gent._ "GOOD GRACIOUS ME! WHAT WITH ORANGE-PEEL AND SLIDES,
THERE'S NO PEACE IN THIS LIFE."]


[Illustration: _A VERY OLD SOLDIER._

"SPARE A COPPER FOR A POOR OLD SOLDIER, MY NOBLE CAPTAIN! SURE IT'S YER
HONOURS FACE I RECOLLECT IN THE PENINSULAR?"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. IV.

MR. BRIGGS, PERSUADED THAT "A GOOD HORSE CAN'T BE A BAD COLOUR," HAS
PURCHASED A SPOTTED AND HIGHLY TRAINED STEED FROM A CIRCUS; BUT THE
WORST OF HIM IS, THAT AMONGST OTHER THINGS, HE HAS BEEN TRAINED TO SIT
DOWN ON HIS HAUNCHES WHEN HE HEARS A BAND PLAY, AND YOU MAY IMAGINE HOW
DISCONCERTED POOR OLD BRIGGS WAS THE FIRST TIME HE DID SO.]


[Illustration: _A PLEASANT STATE OF THINGS._

_Piscator (at the top of his voice)._ "HI--TOM! BRING THE LANDING-NET;
HE'S PULLED ME IN, AND GOT ROUND A POST."]


[Illustration:

HORACE MAYHEW. PERCIVAL LEIGH. RICHD. DOYLE. GILBERT A. A'BECKETT.
JOHN LEECH. RICHD. COBDEN. SIR R. PEEL. PRINCE DE JOINVILLE. SIR JAMES
GRAHAM. LORD GEORGE BENTINCK. DAN. O'CONNELL. GEORGE HUDSON. SHAW
LEFEVRE. (_Speaker._) JENNY LIND. GEN. TOM THUMB. LORD JOHN RUSSELL.
PRINCE ALBERT. GEN. TOM THE QUEEN MARK LEMON. TOM TAYLOR. W. M.
THACKERAY. DOUGLAS JERROLD. DISRAELI. MR. PUNCH. LOUIS PHILIPPE. COL.
SIBTHORP. LORD NORMANBY. LORD BROUGHAM. MEHEMET ALI. EMPEROR OF RUSSIA.
DUKE OF WELLINGTON.

MR. PUNCH'S FANCY BALL.]


[Illustration: _SUBJECT FOR A PICTURE.--IRRITABLE GENTLEMAN DISTURBED
BY A BLUEBOTTLE._]


[Illustration: _RAILWAY LITERATURE._

_Book Stall Keeper._ "BOOK, MA'AM? YES, MA'AM, HERE'S A POPULAR WORK
BY AN EMINENT SURGEON, JUST PUBLISHED, 'BROKEN LEGS, AND HOW TO MEND
THEM;' OR, WOULD YOU LIKE THE LAST NUMBER OF 'THE RAILWAY OPERATOR?'"]


[Illustration: _A LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT._

_Bootmaker (with great feeling)._ "OH, NO, SIR! DON'T HAVE NAPOLEONS;
HAVE TOPS, SIR!--YOURS IS A BEAUTIFUL LEG FOR A TOP BOOT, SIR!--(_young
Nimrod is immensely pleased_)--BEAUTIFUL LEG, SIR! SAME SIZE ALL THE
WAY DOWN, SIR!"--(_young Nimrod is immensely disgusted._)]


[Illustration: _LITERAL._

_Young Lady._ "PRAY, CABMAN, ARE YOU ENGAGED?"

_Cabman._ "LOR BLESS YER, MISS, WHY, I'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS SEVEN
YEARS."]


[Illustration: _HALL ALONG OF THEM BETTING OFFICES._

_Betting Flunkey._ "LOST? I BELIEVE YER! AND LOST A HATFULL OF MONEY
ON THE HOAKS, TOO; AND HOW I'M TO SETTLE WITHOUT PARTING WITH MY
JEWELLERY, I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW! AH, MR. BOTTLES, ITS HARD LINES TO
WAIT AT TABLE WITH SUCH CARES AND HANXIETIES."]


[Illustration: _A BRUTAL FELLOW._

_Policeman._ "NOW, MUM! WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

_Injured Female._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MISTER--I WANT TO GIVE MY WRETCH OF A
'USBAND IN CHARGE. HE'S ALLVAYS A KNOCKING OF ME DOWN AND A STAMPIN' ON
ME!"]


[Illustration: _OF COURSE._

"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MASTER'S SENT BACK THE FIRST VOLUME, AND HE SAYS,
WILL YOU BE SO GOOD AS TO LET HIM 'AVE THE SECOND?"]


[Illustration: _ENTER MR. BOTTLES, THE BUTLER._

_Master Fred._ "THERE! THAT'S CAPITAL! STAND STILL, BOTTLES, AND I'LL
SHOW YOU HOW THE CHINESE DO THE KNIFE TRICK AT THE PLAY."

    [BOTTLES _is much interested._]


[Illustration: _THE NEW ACT._

_Hansom Cabby._ "H'M! SIXPENCE, YOU HAD BETTER KEEP IT. YOU MAY WANT IT
FOR YOUR WASHING OR SOMETHINK!"]


[Illustration: _DISCERNMENT._

_Clever Child._ "OH! DO LOOK HERE, MAMMA DEAR, SUCH A FUNNY THING! MR.
BOKER'S GOT ANOTHER FOREHEAD AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD."

    [BOKER _is delighted_.]


[Illustration: _INNOCENT AND AMUSING LITTLE TRICK FOR LITTLE BOYS._

AN OLD LADY IS CROSSING THE STREET, WHEN A LITTLE BOY SHOUTS OUT--"HI!"
AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE. THE OLD LADY (ALTHOUGH INDEED THERE IS NO REAL
CAUSE FOR ALARM) STARTS, AND BECOMES GREATLY AGITATED, AND IMAGINES
THAT SHE IS RUN OVER BY AN OMNIBUS. THIS IS AN EXCEEDINGLY PLEASANT
TRICK.]


[Illustration: _SOLICITUDE._

_Child (screams and without any stops)._ "HANNER MARIA YER TIRESOME
HAGGERWATIN' LITTLE USSY COME OUT OF THE ROAD DO WITH YER LITTLE
BROTHER DID YER WANT TO BE RUNNED OVER BY OMNIBUSTES AND KILLED DEAD OH
DEAR OH DEAR WHO'D BE A NUSS?"]


[Illustration: _ANOTHER._

THIS IS EQUALLY DIVERTING. A LITTLE BOY RUSHES BY AN OLD GENTLEMAN AND
"YOWLS" LIKE A DOG. THE OLD GENTLEMAN IS TERRIFIED BEYOND MEASURE. IF
AT THE SAME TIME THE LITTLE BOY SHOULD ALSO PINCH THE LEG OF THE OLD
GENTLEMAN, THE FORCE OF THE JOKE IS MUCH HEIGHTENED; BUT THEN INDEED HE
MUST HAVE COURAGE, AND BE VERY ADROIT, OR HE MAY CHANCE TO GET A GREAT
BANG FROM AN UMBRELLA OR STICK.]


[Illustration: _AWKWARD._

_Railway Porter._ "NOW THEN, SIR! BY YOUR LEAVE!"]


[Illustration: _THE BEARD MOVEMENT.--GAMMONING A GENT._

_Little Gent._ "'OW MUCH?"

_Cabby._ "WELL, I'D RATHER LEAVE IT TO YOU, SIR! AND WHAT WE POOR
HANSOMS IS TO DO WHEN ALL YOU OFFICERS IS GONE ABROAD, GOODNESS
KNOWS."]


[Illustration: _AWFUL SCENE ON THE CHAIN PIER, BRIGHTON._

_Nursemaid._ "LAWK! THERE GOES CHARLEY, AND HE'S TOOK HIS MAR'S
PARASOL. WHAT WILL MISSUS SAY?"]


[Illustration: _A LUMPING PENN'ORTH._

"NOW, MY MAN, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, IF I GAVE YOU A
PENNY?"

"VY, THAT YOU VOS A JOLLY OLD BRICK!"]


[Illustration: _RATHER SUSPICIOUS!_

_Sentimental Young Lady._ "WILL YOU BE SO OBLIGING, MR. TONGS, AS TO
CUT OFF A LONG PIECE OF HAIR WHERE IT WILL NOT BE MISSED?"]


[Illustration: _ALARMING._

THE OLD LADY IS SUPPOSED (AFTER A GREAT EFFORT) TO HAVE MADE UP
HER MIND TO TRAVEL, JUST FOR ONCE, BY ONE "OF THOSE NEW-FANGLED
RAILWAYS," AND THE FIRST THING SHE BEHOLDS ON ARRIVING AT THE STATION,
IS THE ABOVE MOST ALARMING PLACARD.]


[Illustration: _A SKETCH AT RAMSGATE._

_Ellen (who loves a joke at AUNT FIDGET'S expense)._ "GOOD GRACIOUS,
AUNT, THERE ARE TWO OFFICERS!"

_Aunt Fidget (a short-sighted lady)._ "BLESS ME, SO THERE ARE! WELL;
THEY MAY BE OFFICERS, BUT THEY ARE NOT GENTLEMEN, I'M SURE, OR THEY
WOULDN'T STAND LOOKING AT US IN THAT IMPUDENT MANNER."]


[Illustration: _A PICTURE._

SHOWING WHAT MASTER TOM DID AF-TER SEE-ING A PAN-TO-MIME--BUT YOU WOULD
NOT DO SO--OH DEAR NO!--BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD BOY.]


[Illustration: _EASILY SATISFIED._

_Fond Parent._ "I DON'T CARE, MR. MEDIUM, ABOUT ITS BEING HIGHLY
FINISHED; BUT I SHOULD LIKE THE DEAR CHILD'S EXPRESSION PRESERVED."]


[Illustration: _A GREAT LOSS._

_Rapid Undergraduate._ "WELL, JACKSON! YOU SEE THEY'VE PLUCKED
ME AGAIN."

_Porter of St. Boniface._ "YE-ES, SIR, I WAS VERY SORRY WHEN I
'EARD OF IT, SIR."

_Undergraduate._ "AH! I DID INTEND GOING INTO THE CHURCH, AND
BEING AN ORNAMENT TO THE PROFESSION--BUT AS THEY WON'T LET
ME THROUGH--I THINK--I SHALL CUT THE WHOLE CONCERN."]


[Illustration: _RATHER A BAD LOOK-OUT._

_Young Sister._ "I SHOULD SO LIKE TO GO TO A PARTY, MA."

_Mamma._ "MY DEAR, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. AS I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE (I
AM SURE A HUNDRED AND FIFTY TIMES), THAT UNTIL FLORA IS MARRIED, IT IS
UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GO OUT; SO DO NOT ALLUDE TO THE SUBJECT
AGAIN, I BEG."]


[Illustration: _A DREADFUL SHOCK TO THE NERVES._

"PLEASE, MEM, LET'S COME UNDER YOUR RUMBERELLER!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. V.

MR. BRIGGS, DETERMINED TO HAVE NO MORE INFERIOR HORSES, GIVES A GOOD
ROUND SUM FOR "A CLEVER COB--UP TO GREAT WEIGHT--AND THAT A CHILD MIGHT
RIDE." HE HAS SOME FRIENDS (WHO REALLY KNOW WHAT A HORSE IS) TO DINE
WITH HIM, WHOSE OPINIONS HE WISHES TO HAVE.

_First Friend._ "AH--VERY NICE--VERY NICE--BUT NOT MY SORT--BEEN
KNOCKED ABOUT A GOOD DEAL, I SHOULD SAY--DRIVEN IN A BUTCHER'S CART,
PERHAPS, AND SOLD BECAUSE HE WASN'T FAST ENOUGH."----_Second Ditto._
"HE HASN'T BEEN DOWN, BRIGGS, HAS HE? IS THAT A SCRATCH, OR IS IT ONLY
THE LIGHT?"----_Third Ditto._ "DOES HE SHY AT ALL? HIS EYES DON'T LOOK
QUITE THE THING."----_Fourth Ditto._ "I TELL YOU WHAT, BRIGGS, YOU
MUST HAVE HIM LOOKED AFTER A LITTLE BETTER, OR HE'LL VERY SOON HAVE A
CRACKED HEEL."----_Fifth Ditto._ "THAT HOCK SEEMS RATHER QUEER," &c.,
&c., &c.]


[Illustration: _A STARTLING REQUEST._

"PLEASE, SIR, WILL YOU PUMP FOR ME?"]


[Illustration: _CUT HIM DOWN BEHIND!_]


[Illustration: _DELICATE._

'_Bus Conductor._ "WOULD ANY LADY BE SO KIND AS TO RIDE OUTSIDE TO
OBLIGE A _GENTLEMAN_?"]


[Illustration: _CONFOUND THE SHOPS!_

_Mrs. ----._ "OH! DO LOOK HERE, DEAR! HOW EXTREMELY PRETTY THE AUTUMN
FASHIONS ARE, TO BE SURE. WHAT A PERFECTLY LOVELY LITTLE CLOAK!"

_Mr. ---- (rapidly changing the subject)._ "YES. YES! BEAUTIFUL!
BEAUTIFUL! BUT SEE, LOVE, WHAT A MAGNIFICENT BROWN HORSE, AND HOW
SPLENDIDLY THAT FELLOW SITS HIM!"]


[Illustration: _VERY LOW PEOPLE._

_Purveyor of Poultry._ "WHAT SORT O' PEOPLE ARE THEY AT NUMBER TWELVE,
JACK?"

_Purveyor of Meat._ "OH! A RUBBISHIN' LOT. LEG O' MUTTON A' MONDAYS,
AND 'ASH AN' COLD MEAT THE REST O' THE WEEK."]


[Illustration: _POOR TOMMY._

"WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH TOMMY?"

"BOO! HOO! I'VE CUT MY FINGER WITH AUNT'S SCISSORS."

"THAT'S A GOOD BOY! ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. VI.

MR. BRIGGS (_at an alarming sacrifice_) GETS RID OF HORSE NO. I., AND
GOES OUT FOR A RIDE IN THE COUNTRY UPON NO. II.

_Carman._ "FELL DOWN, HAS HE, SIR? AH, HE LOOKS AS IF HE COULD BE WERRY
CLEVER AT THAT.--WERRY ORKERD THING, SIR, FOR A OSS TO FALL DOWN,
SIR. OSSES OOSTES A GOOD BIT O' MONEY--LEASTWAYS, GENTLEMEN'S OSSES
DOES.--NOW, JIST LOOK AT MY LITTLE OSS, SIR, AND HE'S A POOR MAN'S OSS,
HE IS. HE DON'T GO FALLIN' ABOUT." (_Exit._)]


[Illustration: No. VII.

MR BRIGGS RIDES(!) HOME, AND WONDERS WHAT MRS. BRIGGS WILL SAY.]


[Illustration: _AWFUL INSTANCE OF PERCEPTION OF CHARACTER IN AN INFANT
PRODIGY._

_Prodigy._ "MAMMA, LOOK DERE! DERE PAPA!"]


[Illustration: _EASILY PLEASED._

_Disciple of Old Isaac._ "THIS WOULDN'T BE A BAD PLACE, IF THE FISH
WOULD ONLY BITE, AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THIS CONFOUNDED WASPS' NEST."]


[Illustration: _DELICACY OF THE SEASON._

_Testy Old Uncle (unable to control his passion)._ "REALLY, SIR, THIS
IS QUITE INTOLERABLE! YOU MUST INTEND TO INSULT ME. FOR THE LAST
FOURTEEN DAYS, WHEREVER I HAVE DINED, I HAVE HAD NOTHING BUT SADDLE
OF MUTTON AND BOILED TURKEY--BOILED TURKEY AND SADDLE OF MUTTON. I'LL
ENDURE IT NO LONGER."

    [_Exit Old Gent., who alters his Will._]


[Illustration: _THE BANDS OF HOPE; OR, THE CHILDISH TEETOTAL MOVEMENT._

_Grandpapa._ "BUT FOR SEVENTY YEARS, MY CHILD, I HAVE FOUND THAT THE
MODERATE USE OF THE GOOD THINGS OF THIS LIFE HAS DONE ME GOOD."

_Young Hopeful Teetotaller._ "ALL A MISTAKE, GRANDPA', TOTAL ABSTINENCE
IS THE THING. LOOK AT ME! I'VE NOT TASTED WINE OR BEER FOR YEARS!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES Of HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. VIII.

MR. BRIGGS'S PRESENT HORSE DOESN'T QUITE SUIT HIM, FOR, SOMEHOW,
WHENEVER HE JUMPS, MR. B. IS SURE TO FALL OFF. HE TAKES HIM TO AN
EMINENT DEALER, AND REMARKS CONFIDENTLY THAT HE IS FOR SALE, UPON WHICH
THE DEALER SAYS: "HOW MUCH A POUND IF HE BUYS THE WHOLE OF HIM?"]


[Illustration: _A LITTLE BIT OF HUMBUG._

_Shoemaker._ "I THINK, MUM, WE HAD BETTER MAKE A PAIR. YOU SEE, MUM,
YOURS IS SUCH A REMARKABLY LONG AND NARRER FOOT!"]


[Illustration: _CHURCH AND STATE._]


[Illustration: _NOT TO BE PLAYED WITH._

_Groom._ "THAT'S ANOTHER FAVOURITE OSS OF MASTER'S, SIR, AND A GOOD UN
HE IS TOO, SIR, ONLY HE AIN'T VERY QUIET."

_Mr. Green._ "OH, HOW DO YOU MEAN--'NOT VERY QUIET?'"

_Groom._ "WHY, SIR, HE'D GET YOU UP IN A CORNER, AND KICK YER BRAINS
OUT IN NO TIME. HE'S A'MOST KILLED TWO MEN ALREADY."]


[Illustration: _BARRACK LIFE._

_First Heavy Swell (lately absent)._ "WELL, 'GUS, MY BOY--HOW DID YOU
KEEP IT UP HERE ON CHRISTMAS DAY?"

_Second Do._ "OH! IT WAS TERRIBLY SLOW--FOR ALL THE WORLD LIKE A SUNDAY
WITHOUT 'BELL'S LIFE!'"]


[Illustration: _NORTH-EAST WIND, THERMOMETER SEVERAL INCHES BELOW
FREEZING._

_Brighton Boatman._ "DID YOU WANT A PLEASURE BOAT THIS MORNING, SIR?
NICE DAY FOR A ROW!!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: No. IX.

THE FROST GOES, AND MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE IS DISAGREEABLY FRESH AFTER HIS
LONG REST. HE SETS UP HIS BACK AND SQUEAKS AND PLUNGES AT EVERYTHING HE
MEETS.]


[Illustration: _A PLAYFUL CREATURE._

_Cabby._ "DON'T BE ALARMED, SIR, IT'S ONLY HIS PLAY."]


[Illustration: _THE MORNING AFTER THE DERBY._

_First Gent._ "WELL, NED, HOW DID WE GET HOME LAST NIGHT?"

_Second Gent._ "OH, I DON'T KNOW! DIDN'T I GO HOME WITH YOU?"]


[Illustration: _A MAN ABOUT TOWN._

"WHERE SHALL I SAY YOU'RE GONE TO, JIM, IF ANYONE CALLS?"

"OH, THE OLD SHOP--KENSINGTON GARDENS, TO HEAR THE BAND PLAY!"]


[Illustration: _TASTE._

"THAT'S A STUNNING PIN, FRANK!"

"YA-AS.--I'VE GOT A SET OF WAISTCOAT BUTTONS TO MATCH--LOOK JOLLY AT
NIGHT--I ASSURE YAH!"]


[Illustration: _MR. VERDANT'S FIRST ATTEMPT AT BOOK-MAKING._

_Verdant's Friend._ "WELL--AS NEAR AS I CAN MAKE IT OUT--YOU _MUST_
LOSE £150, AND _MAY_ LOSE £300."

    [VERDANT _subsides into his Book_.]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. I.

_PREMONITORY SYMPTOMS OF MR. BRIGGS'S HUNTING FEVER._

_Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MA'AM, THERE'S A YOUTH IN THE PASSAGE AS WANTS
TO KNOW IF THESE TOP BOOTS IS ALL RIGHT."]


[Illustration: PLAIN SPEAKING.

_Amiable Young Lady No. 1._ "PRETTY! OH, DEAR NO--DO YOU?"

_Amiable Young Lady No. 2._ "LAW! NOT AT ALL. BESIDES, HOW ABOMINABLY
AFFECTED SHE IS!"]


[Illustration: _FANCY DRESS BALL._

"SIR!--PLEASE, MR.!--SIR! YOU'VE FORGOT THE DOOR-KEY!"]


[Illustration: _HOW TO DRESS A LOBSTER._

_Rude Boy._ "OH, LOOK 'ERE, JIM!--IF 'ERE AIN'T A LOBSTER BIN AND
OUTGROWED HIS CLOAK!"]


[Illustration: _ADVICE GRATIS._

_Ellen._ "OH, DON'T TEASE ME TO-DAY, CHARLEY; I'M NOT AT ALL WELL!"

_Charley (a Man of the World)._ "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, COUSIN--THE
FACT IS, YOU ARE IN LOVE! NOW, YOU TAKE THE ADVICE OF A FELLOW WHO HAS
SEEN A GOOD DEAL OF THAT SORT OF THING, AND DON'T GIVE WAY TO IT."]


[Illustration: _VERY PROPER DIET FOR HOT WEATHER._

_Mrs. Turtledove._ "DEAREST ALFRED! WILL YOU DECIDE NOW WHAT WE SHALL
HAVE FOR DINNER?"

_Mr. Turtledove._ "LET ME SEE, POPPET. WE HAD A WAFER
YESTERDAY--SUPPOSE WE HAVE A ROAST BUTTERFLY TO-DAY?"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. II.

_PREPARATIONS FOR HUNTING._

MR BRIGGS'S HUNTING CAP COMES HOME, BUT THAT IS REALLY A THING MRS.
BRIGGS CAN NOT AND WILL NOT PUT UP WITH.]


[Illustration: _A FINE DISPOSITION._

_Affectionate Husband._ "COME, POLLY, IF I AM A LITTLE IRRITABLE, IT'S
OVER IN A MINUTE!!"]


[Illustration: _THE PROBABLE EFFECT OF CHEAP FURNITURE HUMBUG._

"OH! IF YOU PLEASE, MISTER, ME AND THIS YOUNG AW-AW-INDIVIDUAL IS ABOUT
TO MARRY; AND WE WANT TO LOOK OVER YOUR CHEAP FURNITURE MART."]


[Illustration: _A JOLLY DOG._

"LOOK HERE, JAMES!--OLD MISSUS IS GONE OUT OF TOWN, AND I'VE GOT HER
BEAST OF A DOG WOT'S FED UPON CHICKINGS TO TAKE CARE OF.--WON'T I TEACH
HIM TO SWIM, NEETHER!"]


[Illustration: _AN IMPUDENT MINX._

_Lady of the House._ "HOITY TOITY, INDEED! GO AND PUT UP THOSE CURLS
DIRECTLY, IF YOU PLEASE. HOW DARE YOU IMITATE ME IN THAT MANNER?
IMPERTINENCE!"]


[Illustration: _THE CHATELAINE; A REALLY USEFUL PRESENT._

_Laura._ "OH. LOOK, MA' DEAR; SEE WHAT A _LOVE_ OF A CHATELAINE EDWARD
HAS GIVEN ME."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. III.

MR. BRIGGS, ON HIS WAY TO THE "METROPOLITAN STEEPLE CHASE," TRIES
WHETHER HIS HORSE IS A GOOD ONE ACROSS COUNTRY. HE IS REPRESENTED
RIDING AT A BROOK(!).]


[Illustration: _COMPLIMENTARY._

"'OLD 'ARD, BILL! HERE'S ANOTHER HIPPERPOTAMUS."]


[Illustration: _THE GOLD FISH AT HAMPTON COURT._]


[Illustration: _LAYING THE DUST._]


[Illustration: _A SKETCH FROM NATURE, TAKEN NEAR
THE FREEMASONS' TAVERN._

_Old Gentleman._ "GOOD GRACIOUS! IT'S STRIKING, AND
THEY'LL HAVE BEGUN DINNER."]


[Illustration: _THE RISING GENERATION._

_Juvenile Oxford Man (who does not think Vin Ordinaire of himself)._
"A--WERE YOU AT EITHER UNIVERSITY?"

_Awful Swell._ "YA-AS--WHEN I WAS A--BOY!"

[OXFORD MAN _departs in a Hansom_.]


[Illustration: _DISTWESSING--VEWY._

_X. 42._ "DID YOU CALL THE POLICE, SIR?"

_Swell (who would perish rather than disturb his shirt-collar)._
"YA-AS, A--I'VE HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO DWOP MY UMBRELLAW, AND THERE
ISN'T A BOY WITHIN A MILE TO PICK IT UP--A--WILL YOU HAVE THE
GOODNESS?"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. IV.

MR. BRIGGS GOES OUT FOR A DAY'S HUNTING, AND HAS A GLORIOUS RUN OVER A
SPLENDID COUNTRY.]


[Illustration: _INGENIOUS IDEA._

ELEGANT MATERIAL FOR TROWSERS--ONLY TAKES TWO MEN TO SHOW THE PATTERN.]


[Illustration: _NO DOUBT._

"NOW I DARE SAY, BILL, THAT AIR BEAST OF A DOG IS A GOOD DEAL MORE
PETTED THAN YOU OR I SHOULD BE."]


[Illustration: _EXCESSIVELY POLITE._

_Well-bred Man._ "YOUR HORSE SEEMS A LITTLE IMPATIENT, SIR! PRAY GO
FIRST!"]


[Illustration: _THE CONSCIENTIOUS STABLE-KEEPER._

_Gent (who meditates a ride)._ "HALLO! WHY, CONFOUND IT. THAT'S MY
SADDLE HORSE, ISN'T IT?"

_Fly-Man._ "YES, SIR! IT'S ALL RIGHT; MASTER SAYS YOU'RE WERRY
PARTICULAR ABOUT 'AVIN OF 'IM EXERCISED REGULAR--SO WE PUTS 'IM INTO
THE BROOM WHEN YOU AIN'T OUT A RIDIN'!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. V.

MR. BRIGGS PUTS HIS HORSE IN HARNESS, AND DRIVES A FEW FRIENDS QUIETLY
DOWN TO THE DERBY.]


[Illustration: _DIFFERENT OPINIONS._

_Housebreaker._ "WOT A SHAME FOR PEOPLE TO GO LEAVING COAL-SCUTTLES
ABOUT FOR PEOPLE TO GO STUMBLING OVER!"]


[Illustration: _SCENE--WESTMINSTER BRIDGE.--TIME, TWO ON A FOGGY
MORNING._

_Reduced Tradesman (to a little party returning home)._ "DID YOU
WANT TO BUY A GOOD RAZOR?"]


[Illustration: _FOREIGNER OF DISTINCTION GOING TO ENJOY "LE SPORT."_]


[Illustration: _THE NEW HUNTER._

"WELL, CHARLEY! HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW PONY?"

"OH! PRETTY WELL, THANK YOU, UNCLE; ONLY I'M AFRAID HE'S HARDLY UP TO
MY WEIGHT, AND HE RUSHES SO AT HIS FENCES."]


[Illustration: _AFTER THE PANTOMIME._

_Mary._ "OH! HOW I SHOULD LIKE TO BE A BEAUTIFUL COLUMBINE, AND RIDE
ABOUT IN A GOLD CAR DRAWN BY WHITE DOVES!"

_Augustus._ "AND HOW I SHOULD LIKE TO BE A HARLEQUIN, AND CHANGE WHOLE
STREETS INTO REALMS OF DAZZLING DELIGHT!"

_Tom (a rude Boy)._ "AND HOW I SHOULD LIKE TO BE THE OLD CLOWN, AND
MAKE BUTTER SLIDES ON THE PAVEMENT TO UPSET OLD LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!"]


[Illustration: _TOO CIVIL BY HALF!_

_English Cook._ "OH, DEAR! HERE, JAMES, COME, AND TAKE THIS ROAST
BEEF AND PLUM-PUDDING OUT OF THE WINDOW. IT HURTS THE FEELINGS OF THE
FOREIGN GENTS AS THEY WALK BY!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. VI.

ON HIS RETURN FROM THE RACES, HE ASSURES HIS MAN THAT HE'S A MOST
"EKSHELLENT SERVANT"--THAT THE MARE NEVER CARRIED HIM BETTER. HE ALSO
TELLS HIM TO MAKE THE MARE QUITE "COMF-ABLE," AND TO BE "VERY CAREF-L
OF HISH CANDLE," BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH STRAW ABOUT!]


[Illustration: _THAMES FISHING._

_Fisherman (to Old Gentleman)._ "THEY'RE A' BITIN' AWAY OVER 'ERE, SIR!
JUST STEP ACROSS THAT THERE BIT O' WOOD, SIR, AND YOU'LL HAVE A CAPITAL
PITCH, SIR!"

_Old Gentleman._ "ACROSS THAT BIT OF WOOD! DOES THE MAN THINK I'M A
ROPE-DANCER?"]


[Illustration: _GOING TO COVER._

_Voice in the distance._ "NOW, THEN, SMITH--COME ALONG!"

_Smith._ "OH, IT'S ALL VERY WELL TO SAY, COME ALONG! WHEN HE WON'T MOVE
A STEP; AND I'M AFRAID HE'S GOING TO LIE DOWN."]


[Illustration: _A SON AND HEIR._

_Son and Heir._ "HOW MANY OF US ARE THERE? WHY, IF YOU COUNT THE GIRLS,
THERE ARE SIX--BUT SOME PEOPLE DON'T COUNT THE GIRLS.--_I'M ONE!_"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. VII.

MR. BRIGGS, NOT BEING GOOD AT HIS "FENCES," GOES THROUGH THE
PERFORMANCE OF OPENING A GATE.]


[Illustration: _LOVE ON THE OCEAN._

"'OH! IS THERE NOT SOMETHING, DEAR AUGUSTUS, TRULY SUBLIME IN THIS
WARRING OF THE ELEMENTS?' BUT AUGUSTUS'S HEART WAS TOO FULL TO
SPEAK."--_MS. Novel by Lady * * *._]


[Illustration: _THE RISING GENERATION._

_Juvenile._ "UNCLE!"

_Uncle._ "NOW THEN, WHAT IS IT? THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME YOU'VE WOKE ME
UP, SIR!"

_Juvenile._ "OH! JUST PUT A FEW COALS ON THE FIRE, AND PASS THE WINE,
THAT'S A GOOD OLD CHAP."]


[Illustration: _RELIGION À LA MODE._

_Housemaid._ "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, PARKER, I SHALL BE VERY GLAD WHEN
MISSUS HAS GOT TIRED OF THIS PUSEY-USM. IT MAY BE THE FASHION; BUT
WHAT WITH HER COMIN' HOME LATE FROM PARTIES, AND GETTING UP FOR EARLY
SERVICE, AND THEN GOIN' TO BED AGAIN, WE POOR SARVINTS HAS DOUBLE WORK
A'MOST."]


[Illustration: _STRANGE, BUT TRUE._

_Lady._ "BY THE WAY, MR. TONGS, I HAVE USED THAT BOTTLE OF BALM OF
CALIFORNIA, BUT I FIND MY HAIR STILL COMES OFF."]


[Illustration: _VERY ACUTE._

_Mr._ ----. "SO YOUR NAME IS CHARLEY, IS IT? NOW, CHARLEY DOESN'T KNOW
WHO I AM?"

_Sharp Little Boy._ "OH, YES! BUT I DO, THOUGH."

_Mr._ ----. "WELL, WHO AM I?"

_Sharp Little Boy._ "WHY, YOU'RE THE GENTLEMAN THAT KISSED SISTER SOPHY
IN THE LIBRARY, ON TWELFTH NIGHT, WHEN YOU THOUGHT NO ONE WAS THERE."]


[Illustration: _GLORIOUS NEWS._

"WELL, RUGGLES, IT'S ALL RIGHT!"

"WHAT'S ALL RIGHT?"

"WHY! WE ARE TO HAVE MARIO AGAIN."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. VIII.

_MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER DAY WITH THE HOUNDS._

MR. BRIGGS CAN'T BEAR FLYING LEAPS, SO HE MAKES FOR A GAP--WHICH IS
IMMEDIATELY FILLED BY A FRANTIC PROTECTIONIST, WHO IS VOWING THAT
HE WILL PITCHFORK MR. B. IF HE COMES "GALLOPERRAVERING" OVER HIS
FENCES--DANG'D IF HE DOAN'T.]


[Illustration: _AN EYE TO BUSINESS._]


[Illustration: _NOT A DIFFICULT THING TO FORETELL._

"LET THE POOR GIPSY TELL YOUR FORTUNE, MY PRETTY GENTLEMAN."]


[Illustration: _FLOWERS OF THE FRENCH ARMY--PICKED AT PARIS._]


[Illustration: _NOT YET!_]


[Illustration: _HIGHLY INTERESTING._

"SEEN THAT PARTY LATELY?"

"WHAT? THE PARTY WITH THE WOODEN LEG, AS COME WITH--"

"NO, NO--NOT THAT PARTY. THE PARTY, YOU KNOW, AS--"

"OH! AH! I KNOW THE PARTY YOU MEAN NOW."

"WELL, A PARTY TOLD ME AS HE CAN'T AGREE WITH THAT OTHER PARTY, AND HE
SAYS THAT IF ANOTHER PARTY CAN'T BE FOUND TO MAKE IT ALL SQUARE, HE
SHALL LOOK FOR A PARTY AS WILL." (_And so on for half an hour._)]


[Illustration: _SOUND ADVICE._

_Master Tom._ "HAVE A WEED, GRAN'PA?"

_Gran'pa._ "A WHAT! SIR?"

_Master Tom._ "A WEED!--A CIGAR, YOU KNOW."

_Gran'pa._ "CERTAINLY NOT, SIR. I NEVER SMOKED IN MY LIFE."

_Master Tom._ "AH! THEN I WOULDN'T ADVISE YOU TO BEGIN."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. IX.

MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER GLORIOUS DAY WITH THE HOUNDS, AND GETS THE BRUSH
(FOR WHICH HE PAYS HALF-A-SOVEREIGN--ONLY DON'T TELL ANYBODY).]


[Illustration: _AWFUL POSITION DURING A STORM._]


[Illustration: _DOG-DAYS! PLEASANT FOR JOHN THOMAS._

_Old Lady._ "JOHN THOMAS!"

_John Thomas._ "YES, MY LADY!"

_Old Lady._ "CARRY ESMERALDA--SHE'S GETTING TIRED, POOR DARLING!"]


[Illustration: _ALARMING._

_Hairdresser._ "THEY SAY, SIR, THE CHOLERA'S IN THE _H_AIR, SIR!"

_Gent. (very uneasy)._ "INDEED! AHEM! THEN I HOPE YOU ARE VERY
PARTICULAR ABOUT THE BRUSHES YOU USE."

_Hairdresser._ "OH! I SEE YOU DON'T _H_UNDERSTAND ME, SIR. I DON'T MEAN
THE 'AIR OF THE 'ED, BUT THE _H_AIR _H_OF THE _H_ATMOSPHERE!"]


[Illustration: _TEMPUS EDAX RERUM._

"GOOD GRACIOUS! IS IT POSSIBLE?--NO! YES! NO!--YES! YES, BY JUPITER,
IT'S A GREY HAIR IN MY FAVOURITE WHISKER!"]


[Illustration: _A ROMANCE OF ROAST DUCKS._

"MY DARLING, WILL YOU TAKE A LITTLE OF THE--A--THE STUFFING?"

"I WILL, DEAR, IF YOU DO; BUT IF YOU DON'T, I WON'T."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. X.

IN ANSWER TO NUMEROUS INQUIRIES, WE ARE HAPPY TO SAY, THAT MR. BRIGGS
IS QUITE WELL, AND AT BRIGHTON. HE IS TAKING THE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE
HIS FAMILY A FEW RIDING LESSONS. WE SHOULDN'T WONDER IF HE WENT OUT
WITH THE HARRIERS IN A DAY OR TWO.]


[Illustration: _THE HONEYMOON._

AUGUSTUS MAKES THE TEA FOR THE FIRST MONTH OF HIS MARRIAGE.]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. XI.

_MR. BRIGGS GOES OUT WITH THE BRIGHTON HARRIERS._

HE HAS A CAPITAL DAY. THE ONLY DRAWBACK IS, THAT HE IS OBLIGED TO LEAD
HIS HORSE _UP_ HILL TO EASE HIM, AND _DOWN_ HILL BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID
OF GOING OVER HIS HEAD--SO THAT HE DOESN'T GET QUITE SO MUCH HORSE
EXERCISE AS HE COULD WISH!]


[Illustration: _PRIVATE THEATRICALS._

DISMAY OF MR. JAMES JESSAMMY ON BEING TOLD THAT HE WILL SPOIL THE WHOLE
THING IF HE DOESN'T SHAVE OFF HIS WHISKERS.]


[Illustration: _TOWN AND COUNTRY._

_Country Footman meekly inquires of London Footman._ "PRAY, SIR, WHAT
DO YOU THINK OF OUR TOWN? A NICE PLACE, AIN'T IT?"

_London Footman (condescendingly)._ "VELL, JOSEPH, I LIKES YOUR TOWN
WELL ENOUGH. IT'S CLEAN; YOUR STREETS ARE HAIRY; AND YOU'VE LOTS OF
REWINS. BUT I DON'T LIKE YOUR CHAMPAGNE; ITS ALL GEWSBERRY."]


[Illustration: _AN IMPENDING DISASTER._

_Boy._ "OH! IF YOU PLEASE'M--COOK'S VERY SORRY'M--BUT COULD SHE SPEAK
TO YOU A MOMENT?"]


_MORE FREE THAN WELCOME._

[Illustration: _Scene--The Kitchen._

_Cook._ "WHO WAS THAT AT THE DOOR, MARY?"

_Mary._ "OH! SUCH A NICE-SPOKEN GENTLEMAN WITH MOUSTARCHERS. HE'S A
WRITIN' A LETTER IN THE DRAWING-ROOM. HE SAYS HE'S A OLD SCHOOL-FELLER
OF MASTER'S, JUST COME FROM INGIA."

[Illustration: _Scene--The Hall._

THE NICE-SPOKEN GENTLEMAN IS SEEN DEPARTING WITH WHAT GREAT-COATS AND
OTHER TRIFLES HE MAY HAVE LAID HIS HANDS UPON.]


[Illustration: _WALTONIANS._

_Scene.--Room in Country House.--Breakfast-Table._

_Master Tom._ "OH, ROBERT!"

_Robert._ "YES, SIR!"

_Master Tom._ "OH, I SAY, ROBERT! THE LADIES WANT ME TO TAKE 'EM OUT
FISHING TO-DAY. SO JUST TELL YOUNG EVANS I SHALL WANT HIM TO GO WITH ME
TO GET SOME WASP GRUBS; AND--LOOK HERE! TELL THE GARDENER HE MUST GET
ME SOME LARGE LOBWORMS DIRECTLY, AND A FEW SMALL FROGS, AS PERHAPS WE
SHALL TRY FOR A JACK. AND--HI! ROBERT, TELL HIM TO SEND 'EM IN HERE,
THAT I MAY SEE WHETHER THEY'RE THE RIGHT SORT!"

[_General Exclamation of "Nasty Monkey!" from the Ladies. Old Gentleman
being rather deaf, wishes_ MASTER TOM'S _remarks repeated_.]


[Illustration: _FISHING OFF A WATERING PLACE._

PERHAPS THE JOLLIEST THING IN THE WORLD(!)]


[Illustration: _A MAN OF FEELING._

_Gentleman._ "OH, CERTAINLY! YOU CAN GO, OF COURSE; BUT, AS YOU HAVE
BEEN WITH ME FOR NINE YEARS, I SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE REASON."

_Thomas._ "WHY, SIR, ITS MY _FEELINS_. YOU USED ALWAYS TO READ PRAYERS,
SIR, YOURSELF--AND SINCE MISS WILKINS HAS BEEN HERE, SHE'S BIN
A-READING OF 'EM. NOW, I CAN'T _BEMEAN_ MYSELF BY SAYIN' 'AMEN' TO A
GUV'NESS."]


[Illustration: _THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS._

_Serious Flunkey._ "I SHOULD REQUIRE, MADAM, FORTY POUNDS A YEAR, TWO
SUITS OF CLOTHES, TWO 'ATS, MEAT AND HALE THREE TIMES A DAY, AND PIETY
HINDISPENSABLE."]


[Illustration: _A FRAGMENT._

"AND WILL YOU ALWAYS--ALWAYS, DEAREST ALBERIC, LOVE ME THUS?" SAID
CONSTANCE.

"EVER, WHILE THIS HEART BEATS WITH LIFE!" PASSIONATELY EXCLAIMED
ALBERIC.

"THEN COULD YOU LEND ME FIVE POUNDS?" MURMURED THE LADY; "FOR REALLY
THINGS ARE SO BAD IN THE CITY, THAT I," &C., &C., &C.]


[Illustration: _A FALSE POSITION._

_Individual (who is not over strong in his head, or firm on his
legs)._ "D-D-D-D-ID WALTZING--EVER--MAKE--YOU--GIDDY? BECAUSE,
I--SHALL--BE--HAPPY--TO--SIT--DOWN--WHENEVER--YOU'RE--TIRED!"

_Girl (who is in high dancing condition)._ "OH, DEAR NO--I COULD WALTZ
ALL NIGHT!"]


[Illustration: _THE NEW BONNET._

_Frederick._ "THERE NOW, HOW VERY PROVOKING! I'VE LEFT THE PRAYER-BOOKS
AT HOME!"

_Maria._ "WELL, DEAR, NEVER MIND; BUT DO TELL ME, _IS MY BONNET
STRAIGHT_?"]


[Illustration: _IN CAMP.--HOSPITALITY._

_Officer._ "WELL, BUT LOOK HERE, OLD FELLOW; WHY NOT STOP ALL NIGHT?"]


[Illustration: _A GREAT MENTAL EFFORT._

_First Cock Sparrow._ "WHAT A MIWACKULOUS TYE, FWANK! HOW THE DOOSE DO
YOU MANAGE IT?"

_Second Cock Sparrow._ "YAS. I FANCY IT IS RATHER GRAND; BUT THEN, YOU
SEE, I GIVE THE WHOLE OF MY MIND TO IT."]


[Illustration: _COMING HOME._

_Old Party (who is taking care of the house)._ "OH, YES, SIR. YOU'LL
FIND THE ROOM NICE AN' CLEAN--AN' I'M SURE THE BED'S HAIRED--FOR I'VE
BIN AN' SLEP IN IT MY OWN SELF HEVERY NIGHT."]


[Illustration: _OH! THE CURTAINS._

_Objectionable Child._ "LOR, PA! ARE YOU GOING TO SMOKE? MY EYE! WON'T
YOU CATCH IT WHEN MA COMES HOME, FOR MAKING THE CURTAINS SMELL!"]


[Illustration: _DISTRACTION._

_Wife of your Bussum._ "OH, I DON'T WANT TO INTERRUPT YOU, DEAR. I ONLY
WANT SOME MONEY FOR BABY'S SOCKS--AND TO KNOW WHETHER YOU WILL HAVE THE
MUTTON COLD OR HASHED."]


[Illustration: _A VERY VULGAR SUBJECT._

_William._ "HERE'S WISHIN' YOU GOOD 'EALTH, JIM, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

_James._ "THANK'YE, BILL, THANK'YE. I HAD OUGHT TO BE A HAPPY COVE--FOR
I'VE GOT A WIFE AS CAN THRASH ANY MAN OF HER WEIGHT--AND I'VE GOT A
CHILD OF TWO YEARS AND A ARF AS CAN EAT TWO POUNDS O' BEEFSTEAK AT A
SITTING--LET ALONE OWNIN' THE SMALLEST BLACK AND TAN TERRIER IN THE
WORLD!"]


[Illustration: _A DELICIOUS SAIL--OFF DOVER._

_Old Lady._ "GOODNESS GRACIOUS, MR. BOATMAN! WHAT'S THAT?"

_Stolid Boatman._ "THAT, MUM! NUTHUN, MUM. ONLY THE ARTILLERY A
PRAC-_TI_-SIN', AND THAT'S ONE O' THE CANNON-BALLS WHAT'S JUST STRUCK
THE WATER!!"]


[Illustration: _THE ROUND HAT, LADEN WITH NOVELS, IN A STORM._

_Ancient Mariner._ "HOLD ON A BIT, MISS--I'LL TOW YOU OFF--YOU SHOULD
NEVER CARRY SO MUCH SAIL IN A SOU-WESTER!"]


[Illustration: _SNOW-FLAKES._--No. 1.

_Street Boy (to his natural enemy, the Policeman)._ "SNOWBALLS, SIR!
NO, SIR! I HAVEN'T SEEN NO ONE THROW NO SNOWBALLS, SIR!"]


[Illustration: _SNOW-FLAKES._--No. 2.

_Street Boy._ "HOH! SOOSANNER! DON'T YER CRY FOR ME! FOL DE ROL DE
RIDDLE LOL! HERE'S A JOLLY SLIDE! CUT AWAY, YOUNG 'UN! IT'S ALL
SERENE!"]


[Illustration: _SNOW-FLAKES._--No. 3.

_Playful Youth._ "PLEASE, SIR, I WASN'T A HEAVIN' AT YOU--I WAS HEAVIN'
AT BILLY JONES."]


[Illustration: _THE BIRTHDAY._

_Cousin Emily._ "AND SO IT'S LITTLE ALFRED'S BIRTHDAY TO-MORROW. NOW,
WHAT WOULD HE LIKE BEST FOR A PRESENT?"

_Alfred (after much reflection)._ "WHY, I THINK I SHOULD LIKE A--I
SHOULD LIKE A TESTAMENT--AND--A--A--AND--OH, _I_ KNOW! I SHOULD LIKE A
SQUIRT!!"]


[Illustration: _DIVISION OF LABOUR._

_Sportsman (in Standing Beans)._ "WHERE TO NOW, JACK?"

_Jack._ "WELL! LET'S SEE! I SHOULD JUST GO UP THE BEANS AGAIN, AND
ACROSS THE TOP END, BEAT DOWN THE OTHER SIDE AND ROUND BY THE BOTTOM;
WHILE YOU'RE THERE, GET OVER AND TRY OLD HAYCOCK'S STANDING OATS--HE
WON'T MIND--I'LL STOP HERE AND MARK!"]


[Illustration: _A HARD RIDER._

_Man on the Grey (who comes Express pace over the Stile, and cannons
against two quiet riders)._ "BEG PARDON, GENTLEMEN, BUT MY HORSE HAS
GOT _NO MOUTH_!"]


[Illustration: _BON-BON FROM A JUVENILE PARTY._

_Doctor._ "AHEM! WELL! AND WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH MY YOUNG FRIEND
ADOLPHUS?"

_Fond Mother._ "WHY, HE'S NOT AT ALL THE THING, DOCTOR. HE WAS AT A
JUVENILE PARTY LAST NIGHT, WHERE THERE WAS A TWELFTH CAKE; AND IT PAINS
ME TO SAY, THAT BESIDES EATING A GREAT DEAL TOO MUCH OF THE CAKE, HE
WAS IMPRUDENT ENOUGH TO EAT A HARLEQUIN AND A MAN ON HORSEBACK, AND, I
AM SORRY TO ADD, A CUPID AND A BIRDCAGE FROM THE TOP OF IT!"]


[Illustration: _KNOWLEDGE IS POWER._

_Tom._ "JACK! WHEREABOUTS IS AMSTID--AM?"

_Jack._ "WELL, I CAN'T SAY EXACKERLY, BUT I KNOW IT'S SOMEWHERE NEAR
AMSTID-EATH!"]


[Illustration: _HOW TO MAKE A CHATELAINE A REAL BLESSING TO MOTHERS._]


[Illustration: _THE PIKE IS A VORACIOUS FISH, AND BITES VERY READILY IN
THE WINTER MONTHS._

OLD GENTLEMAN IS _VERY_ FOND OF FISHING!!]


[Illustration: _A NICE GAME AT BILLIARDS._

_Pretty Cousin._ "LET ME SEE, FREDERICK, I'M JUST EIGHTEEN TO YOUR
LOVE?"

_Frederick (who is always so ridiculous)._ "THAT IS PRECISELY THE STATE
OF THE CASE, MY DEAREST GEORGINA."

_Mamma (with severity)._ "COME, LUNCHEON IS QUITE READY."]


[Illustration: _VERY FINE GENTLEMEN._

_Master of the House._ "NOW, PRAY WHAT IS IT YOU COMPLAIN OF? IS NOT A
ROAST LEG OF MUTTON, WITH PLENTY OF PUDDING, VEGETABLES, AND BEER, A
SUBSTANTIAL DINNER ENOUGH FOR YOU?"

_Flunkey._ "OH! SUBSTANTIAL ENOUGH, NO DOUBT, SIR; BUT IT REALLY IS A
_QUIZZEEN_ THAT--AW--ME AND THE OTHER GENTLEMEN HAS NOT BIN ACCUSTOMED
TO. ITS VERY CORSE--VERY CORSE, INDEED, SIR!!"]


[Illustration: _PLEASANT!_

_Nervous Gentleman._ "DON'T YOU THINK, ROBERT, GOING SO FAST DOWN HILL
IS VERY LIKELY TO MAKE THE HORSE FALL?"

_Robert._ "LOR BLESS YER--NO, SIR! I NEVER THROWED A OSS DOWN IN MY
LIFE, 'XCEPT ONCE, AND THAT WAS ONE FROSTY MOONLIGHT NIGHT (JUST SUCH A
NIGHT AS THIS IT WAS), AS I WAS A-DRIVIN' A GENT (AS MIGHT BE YOU) FROM
THE STATION, WHEN I THROWED DOWN THIS WERRY OSS IN THIS WERRY IDENTICAL
PLACE."]


[Illustration: _A TIGHT FIT._

"YOUR BATH IS QUITE READY, MA'AM."

"WELL BUT MY GOOD GIRL, I CAN'T GET INTO SUCH A BIT OF A THING AS
THAT!"]


[Illustration: _A PUZZLING ORDER._

"I'LL TROUBLE YOU TO MEASURE ME FOR A NEW PAIR OF BOOTS."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING.


[Illustration: No. XII.

MR. BRIGGS, STIMULATED BY THE ACCOUNTS IN THE NEWSPAPERS OF THE DARING
FEAT OF HORSEMANSHIP AT AYLESBURY, AND EXCITED BY MR. HAYCOCK'S CLARET,
TRIES WHETHER HE ALSO CAN RIDE OVER A DINING-ROOM TABLE.]


[Illustration: _NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS (?)_

_First Old Foozle._ "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE PAPER, SIR? THERE'S
NOTHING IN IT."

_Second Old Foozle._ "THEN WHAT THE DEVIL DID YOU KEEP IT SO LONG FOR?"]


[Illustration: _A SUGGESTION._

_Driver._ "WHERE DID THE OLD GENT WANT TO GO TO, BILL?"

_Conductor._ "VY, HE WANTED TO GO TO BLACKWALL IN A QUARTER OF AN HOUR."

_Driver._ "OH! DID HE? THEN HE'D BETTER ORDER A BALLOON!!!"]


[Illustration: _VALUABLE HINT._

ALWAYS BOLT THE DOOR OF YOUR MACHINE AFTER BATHING, OR YOU MAY BE
SERVED AS POOR MR. BRIGGS WAS ONE DAY. HIS DISASTER IS REPRESENTED
ABOVE.]


[Illustration: _AN ARTFUL EXCUSE._

_Servant Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MEM. COULD I GO OUT FOR HALF-AN-HOUR TO
BUY A BIT OF RIBBIN, MEM?"]


[Illustration: _MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HUNTING, No. XIII.

MR. BRIGGS HAS GONE TO THE EXHIBITION.--A BOY HOLDS HIS HORSE IN THE
MEANTIME.]


[Illustration: _A SKETCH OF CHARACTER BY PROFESSOR MILKANSOP, THE
CELEBRATED GRAPHIOLOGIST._

_Gentleman (reads)._ "'INTELLIGENT; STRONG RELIGIOUS FEELINGS; FOND OF
LITTLE CHILDREN; LOVES MUSIC, POETRY, AND THE FINE ARTS; IS RELUCTANT
TO TAKE OFFENCE, GENEROUS AND FORGIVING.'--WELL, I'M BLOWED, IF THAT
AIN'T WONDERFUL! WHY, ITS MY KARACTER TO A T!"]


[Illustration: _AN INGENIOUS FELLOW._

"LOOK HERE, MY BOY! THE BOX MAKES A CAPITAL TABLE, AND THE BOOT IS JUST
THE THING FOR YOUR LEGS."

[_Pocket-book disappears._]


[Illustration: _A WEIGHTY MATTER._

_Cavalry Officer (who rides about five stone)._ "I'M DOOCED GLAD WE'RE
IN THE HEAVIES; AIN'T YOU, CHARLEY? IT WOULD BE A HORRID BORE TO BE
SENT OUT TO THE CAPE LIKE THOSE POOR LIGHT BOBS."]


[Illustration: _OUR YOUNG PEOPLE._

_Juvenile._ "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, GOVERNOR, THE SOONER WE COME TO
SOME UNDERSTANDING THE BETTER. YOU CAN'T EXPECT A YOUNG FELLER TO BE
ALWAYS AT HOME; AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I GO ON, WHY I MUST HAVE
CHAMBERS, AND SO MUCH A-WEEK?"]


[Illustration: _A PERSONAL OPINION._

_Elderly Spinster._ "SO, YOU'RE GOING TO BE MARRIED, DEAR, ARE YOU?
WELL, FOR MY PART, I THINK NINE-HUNDRED-AND-NINETY-NINE MARRIAGES OUT
OF A THOUSAND TURN OUT MISERABLY; BUT OF COURSE EVERY ONE IS THE BEST
JUDGE OF THEIR OWN FEELINGS."]


[Illustration: _LITTLE WOMEN._

_First Matron._ "HAS YOUR DOLL HAD THE MEASLES, AMELIA? MINE HAS--"

_Second Matron._ "NO, DEAR, BUT IT'S BEEN VERY FRACTIOUS ABOUT ITS
TEETH, AND I'M GOING TO GIVE IT A LITTLE GREY POWDER."]


[Illustration: MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF FISHING. No. 1.

_OUR FRIEND BRIGGS CONTEMPLATES A DAY'S FISHING._]


[Illustration: _A GROSS OFFENCE._

_Flunkey._ "HOW DARE YOU BRING ME A STEEL FORK, SIR!"]


[Illustration: _CAUGHT._

_Domestic (soliloquising)_. "WELL! I'M SURE MISSUS HAD BETTER GIVE THIS
NEW BONNET TO ME, INSTEAD OF STICKING SUCH A YOUNG-LOOKING THING UPON
HER OLD SHOULDERS."

(_The impudent minx has immediate warning_)]


[Illustration: _STREET DIALOGUE._

_First Boy._ "I'LL PUNCH YER ED, IF YER SAY MUCH."

_Second Boy._ "WHO'LL PUNCH MY ED?"--_First Boy._ "I WILL."

_Second Boy._ "_YOU_ WILL?"--_First Boy._ "YES, _I_ WILL."

_Second Boy._ "WELL!--DO IT."--_First Boy._ "AH!"

_Second Boy._ "YES!"--_First Boy._ "OH!"

    [_Boys evaporate._]


[Illustration: _A PRUDENT RESOLVE._

_'Ousemaid._ "WELL, MR. ROBERT, I SUPPOSE YOU'LL BE OFF TO THE DIGGINGS
ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE GENTLEMEN?"

_Flunkey._ "NOT IF I KNOWS IT, MARY, MY DEAR. I AIN'T BEEN ACCUSTOMED
TO FIZZICAL EXERTION; AND I DON'T INTEND TO BEGIN HARD WORK AT MY TIME
OF LIFE."]


[Illustration: _USED UP._

_Grandmamma._ "WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH MY PET?"

_Child._ "WHY, GRANDMA, AFTER GIVING THE SUBJECT EVERY CONSIDERATION, I
HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT--THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, AND MY DOLL IS
STUFFED WITH SAWDUST. SO--I--SHOULD--LIKE--IF YOU PLEASE, TO BE A NUN!"]


[Illustration: MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF FISHING.

No. II.

_MR. BRIGGS STARTS ON HIS FISHING EXCURSION._]


[Illustration: No. III.

MR. B WON'T HAVE A MAN WITH HIM, AS HE THINKS HE CAN MANAGE A PUNT BY
HIMSELF; AND THE CONSEQUENCE IS, HE IS OBLIGED TO GO TO BED WHILE HIS
THINGS ARE DRIED, HAVING UPSET HIMSELF, AS A MATTER OF COURSE.]


[Illustration: _ENERGETIC._

"HI!--THERE!--STOP!"]


[Illustration: _HUNTING MEMORANDUM--APPEARANCE OF THINGS IN GENERAL TO
A GENTLEMAN WHO HAS JUST TURNED A COMPLETE SOMERSAULT!!_

* &C. &C. REPRESENT SPARKS OF DIVERS BEAUTIFUL COLOURS]


[Illustration: _MANNERS MAKE THE MAN._

_Omnibus Driver._ "I BEG YOU A THOUSAND PARDONS, I AM SURE."

_Cabman._ "OH, PRAY DON'T MENTION IT. ITS OF NO CONSEQUENCE, BELIEVE
ME!"]


[Illustration: _MUCH TOO CLEVER._

_Sharp (but vulgar Little Boy)._ "HALLO, MISSUS, WOT ARE THOSE?"

_Old Woman._ "TWOPENCE."

_Boy._ "WHAT A LIE! THEY'RE APPLES."

[_Exit, whistling popular air._]


[Illustration: MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF FISHING.

No. IV.

MR. BRIGGS TRIES (FOR MANY HOURS) A LIKELY PLACE FOR A PERCH; BUT UPON
THIS OCCASION THE WIND IS NOT IN A FAVOURABLE QUARTER.]


[Illustration: No. V.

MINNOW CAUGHT BY MR. BRIGGS; EXACT SIZE OF LIFE.]


[Illustration: _RETURNING FROM THE SEA-SIDE.--A LITTLE COMMISSION._

"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR,--MRS. GENERAL SLOWCOACH'S COMPLIMENTS, AND
SHE SAYS IF YOU'RE GOING BY THE TRAIN THIS MORNING, SHE WOULD FEEL
PERTICKLER OBLIGED BY YOUR TAKING CHARGE OF THIS LITTLE CASK OF
SEA-WATER AS FAR AS HER 'OUSE."]


[Illustration: _ANGLING IN THE SERPENTINE.--SATURDAY, P.M._

_Piscator No. 1._ "HAD EVER A BITE, JIM?"

_Piscator No. 2._ "NOT YET--I ONLY COME HERE LAST WEDNESDAY!"]


[Illustration: _SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.--(FROM OUR OWN CORRESPONDENT.)_

"THE COUNTRY IS AWFULLY DEEP, BUT THE FALLING IS DELIGHTFULLY SOFT AND
SAFE."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF FISHING.


[Illustration: No. VI.

_MR. BRIGGS HAS ANOTHER DAY'S FISHING._

HE IS SO FORTUNATE AS TO CATCH A LARGE EEL.]


[Illustration: _AN UNDESIGNED INCIDENT._

"HOW COOL AND NICE THE FRENCH-POLISHED FLOORS ARE,--BUT--UGH!--OH
DEAR!--HOW HARD!"]


[Illustration: _NO PLACE LIKE HOME._

PATERFAMILIAS PREFERS HIS OWN BEDROOM (WHICH THE WHITEWASHERS HAVE JUST
LEFT) TO THE DISCOMFORT OF AN HOTEL.]


[Illustration: _THE GENTLE CRAFT._

_Contemplative Man (in punt)._ "I DON'T SO MUCH CARE ABOUT THE SPORT.
IT'S THE DELICIOUS REPOSE I ENJOY SO."]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF FISHING.


[Illustration: No. VII.

_TRIUMPHANT SUCCESS OF MR. BRIGGS._

SOMEHOW OR OTHER (ASSISTED BY HIS LITTLE BOY WALTER), HE CATCHES A
JACK, WHICH, TO USE MR. B.'S OWN WORDS, FLIES AT HIM, AND BARKS LIKE A
DOG.]


[Illustration: _SPLENDID DAY WITH THE "QUEEN'S."_

_First Sporting Snob._ "WELL, BILL, WHAT SORT OF A DAY HAVE YER HAD?"

_Second Ditto._ "OH, MAGNIFICENT, MY BOY! I SEE THE 'OUNDS SEVERAL
TIMES; AND NONE OF YER NASTY 'EDGES AN' DITCHES, EITHER; BUT A PRIME
TURNPIKE ROAD ALL THE WAY."]


[Illustration: _DREADFUL CRISIS._

_Victim._ "HOPE YOU WILL NOT BE OFFENDED, SIR; BUT I SHOULD BE VERY
GLAD IF YOU COULD SETTLE MY LITTLE BILL UP TO CHRISTMAS."

_Mr. Dunup._ "OFFENDED, MY DEAR BOY! NOT IN THE LEAST. BUT THE FACT IS,
I HAVE 'SUSPENDED CASH PAYMENTS' FOR SOME TIME."]


[Illustration: _FOX STEALS AWAY FROM THE COVER; BEARDED FOREIGNER OF
DISTINCTION IMMEDIATELY GIVES CHASE._

_Whipper-in (with excitement, loquitur)._ "'OLD 'ARD, THERE! 'OLD 'ARD!
WHERE ARE YOU A-GALLOPING TO? DO YOU THINK _YOU_ CAN CATCH A FOX?"

_Foreigner of Distinction (with great glee)._ "I DO NOT KNOW, MON AMI;
BUT I WILL TRAI--I WILL TRAI!"]


[Illustration: _THE PIC-NIC._

_Contented Man (loq.)._ "WHAT A NICE DAMP PLACE WE HAVE SECURED;
AND HOW VERY FORTUNATE WE ARE IN THE WEATHER; IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO
PROVOKING FOR US ALL TO HAVE BROUGHT OUR UMBRELLAS AND THEN TO HAVE HAD
A FINE DAY!! GLASS OF WINE, BRIGGS, EH?"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF FISHING.


[Illustration: No. VIII.

MR. BRIGGS, ANXIOUS TO BECOME A "COMPLETE ANGLER," STUDIES THE "GENTLE
ART" OF FLY-FISHING.]


[Illustration: No. IX.

MR. B. GOES OUT. HIS CHIEF DIFFICULTY IS, THAT EVERY TIME HE THROWS
HIS LINE--THE HOOKS (OF WHICH THERE ARE FIVE) WILL STICK BEHIND IN HIS
JACKET AND TR-WS-RS.]


[Illustration: _MEN OF EXPERIENCE._

_Tom._ "AH, BILL! I'M QUITE TIRED OF THE DISSIPATION OF THE GAY AND
FASHIONABLE WORLD. I THINK I SHALL MARRY AND SETTLE."

_Bill._ "WELL, I'M DEVILISH SICK OF A BACHELOR'S LIFE MYSELF, BUT I
DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF THROWING MYSELF AWAY IN A HURRY."]


[Illustration: _QUITE UNNECESSARY._

_Juvenile._ "OH, CHARLEY. IF YOU HEAR A REPORT THAT I'M GOING TO BE
MARRIED TO THAT GIRL IN BLACK, YOU CAN CONTRADICT IT. THERE'S NOTHING
IN IT."]


[Illustration: _NOT VERY LIKELY._

_Mistress._ "WELL, I'M SURE! AND PRAY WHO IS THAT?"

_Cook._ "OH, IF YOU PLEASE'M, IT'S ONLY MY COUSIN WHO HAS CALLED JUST
TO SHOW ME HOW TO BOIL A POTATO."]


[Illustration: _EVERY LITTLE HELPS._

I SAY, TOMMY, COME AND SHOVE. HERE'S THE POOR 'ORSE CAN'T GET THE
WAGGIN UP!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. I.

MR. BRIGGS THINKS OF RUNNING DOWN THE DAY AFTER TO-MORROW TO HIS
FRIEND HAYCOCK FOR A DAY'S SHOOTING, AND HAS BORROWED A DOG TO GO WITH
HIM. FOR THE NINTH TIME DURING THE NIGHT HE HAS BEEN DISTURBED BY THE
HOWLING OF THE ANIMAL.]


[Illustration: No. II.

MR. BRIGGS NO SOONER RETURNS TO HIS BED, THAN MRS. BRIGGS SAYS, "MY
DEAR! THERE'S THAT NASTY, TIRESOME DOG AGAIN!!"]


[Illustration: _THE RISING GENERATION._

_Eton Boy (loq.)._ "COME, GOVERNOR! JUST ONE TOAST, 'THE LADIES!'"]


[Illustration: _WHEN IT IS DELIGHTFUL TO LOSE A BET._

_Grace._ "_TEDDINGTON_ FIRST?--THEN THAT WILL MAKE FOUR DOZEN AND A
HALF. REMEMBER, SIXES! TWO DOZEN WHITE, AND THE REST PALE DRAB AND
LAVENDER."]


[Illustration: _REWARD OF MERIT._

_Ragged Urchin._ "PLEASE, GIVE DAD A SHORT PIPE."

_Barman._ "CAN'T DO IT. DON'T KNOW HIM."

_Ragged Urchin._ "WHY, HE GETS DRUNK HERE EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT."

_Barman._ "OH! DOES HE, MY LITTLE DEAR? THEN 'ERES A NICE LONG 'UN,
WITH A BIT OF WAX AT THE END."]


[Illustration: _CRUEL._

"REMEMBER THE STEWARD, SIR, IF YOU PLEASE."]


MR. BRIGG'S PLEASURES Of SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. III.

9 A.M., HIS ARRIVAL ON THE MOOR. MR. BRIGGS SAYS THAT THE FINE BRACING
AIR MAKES HIM SO VIGOROUS THAT HE SHALL NEVER BE BEAT. HE ALSO
FACETIOUSLY REMARKS THAT HE IS ON "HIS NATIVE HEATH," AND THAT HIS
"NAME IS MACGREGOR!"]


[Illustration: _THE STARVED-OUT ALDERMAN._

DREADFUL CASE OF DESTITUTION.]


[Illustration: No. IV.

11 A.M. MR. BRIGGS BEGINS TO SHOW SYMPTOMS OF DISTRESS. HE FINDS HIS
"NATIVE HEATH" A VERY DIFFERENT THING TO HIS "NATIVE FLAGSTONES."]


[Illustration: _AN OCEAN SWELL._

THE DELIGHTFUL PROCESS OF DRESSING IN A BATHING-MACHINE.]


[Illustration: _AN EXCLUSIVE._

_Enter Small Swell (who drawls as follows)._ "A--BROWN, A--WANT SOME
MORE COATS!"

_Snip._ "YES, SIR. THANK YOU, SIR. HOW MANY WOULD YOU PLEASE TO WANT?"

_Small Swell._ "A--LET ME SEE; A'LL HAVE EIGHT. A--NO, A'LL HAVE NINE;
LOOK HERE! A--SHALL WANT SOME TROWSERS."

_Snip._ "YES, SIR. THANK YOU, SIR. HOW MANY WOULD YOU LIKE?"

_Small Swell._ "A--I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY. S'POSE WE SAY TWENTY-FOUR
PAIRS; AND LOOK HERE! SHOW ME SOME PATTERNS THAT WON'T BE WORN BY ANY
SNOBS!"]


[Illustration: _ELEGANT HABIT._

_Mamma._ "MY DEAR FREDERICK, DO PRAY TAKE YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR
POCKETS!"

_Frederick._ "COULDN'T DO IT, MAMMA, DEAR; ALL OUR MEN AT CAMBRIDGE
WEAR THEIR HANDS IN THEIR POCKETS, AND I COULDN'T DISGRACE MY COLLEGE
BY TAKING MINE OUT!!"]


[Illustration: _PITY IS AKIN TO LOVE._

_Boy (loq.)._ "O DON'T I PITY THEM POOR NOBS IN _CARRIDGES_ THIS HOT
WEATHER!"]


[Illustration: _AN OMNIBUS INCIDENT._

_Man (thrusting his hand into the window)._ "WILL YOU BUY A PENKNIFE
WITH A HUNDRED BLADES, SIR?"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. V.

12 A.M. TOTAL PROSTRATION OF MR. BRIGGS.]


[Illustration: _ANALOGY._

_Sporting Man (loquitur)._ "I SAY, CHARLES--THAT'S A PROMISING
LITTLE FILLY ALONG O' THAT BAY-HAIRED WOMAN WHO'S TALKING TO THE
BLACK-COB-LOOKING MAN!"]


[Illustration: _JOHN THOMAS MISPLACED._

_Lady._ "YOU WISH TO LEAVE--REALLY IT'S VERY INCONVENIENT. PRAY--HAVE
YOU ANY REASON TO BE DISSATISFIED WITH YOUR PLACE?"

_Flunkey._ "OH, DEAR NO, MA'AM--NOT DISSATISFIED EXACTLY: BUT--A--THE
FACT IS, MA'AM, YOU DON'T KEEP NO VEHICLE, AND I FIND I MISS MY
CARRIAGE EXERCISE."]


[Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE PRUDENCE._

_Maria (loq.)._ "MY DEAR CHARLES, BEFORE WE THINK OF MARRYING, I MUST
ASK YOU WHAT YOU HAVE?"

_Charles._ "MY DEAR MARIA, I WILL TELL YOU FRANKLY THAT ALL I HAVE IN
THE WORLD IS A DRUM AND A CRICKET BAT; BUT PAPA HAS PROMISED ME A BOW
AND ARROWS, AND A PONY, IF I'M A GOOD BOY."

_Maria._ "OH! MY DEAR CHARLES, WE COULD NEVER LIVE AND KEEP HOUSE UPON
THAT!"]


[Illustration: _HOUSEMAIDS REFUSING SERVICE IN BELGRAVIA._

_Lady Emily._ "NOW DEAR, I WISH YOU WOULD BE QUICK, AND LIGHT THE
FIRES, AND HELP ME TO MAKE THE BEDS."

[_The Barracks being removed from Knightsbridge. Young Ladies do the
Housework._]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. VI.

MR. BRIGGS IS OFF AGAIN SHOOTING.]


[Illustration: _GRANDMAMMA IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE GIVEN MASTER TOM SOME
PLUMS._

_Master Tom_. "NOW, THEN, GRANNY, I'VE EATEN THE PLUMS, AND IF YOU
DON'T GIVE ME SIXPENCE, I'LL SWALLOW THE STONES!"]


[Illustration: _MAKING THE BEST OF IT._]


[Illustration: _HORRIBLE INCIDENT IN REAL LIFE._

AS THE SERVANTS ARE GONE TO BED, THE MASTER OF THE HOUSE ENDEAVOURS TO
GET A LITTLE BIT OF SUPPER FOR HIMSELF. HE CAN'T CONCEIVE WHERE THE
DEUCE THE THINGS ARE ALL KEPT; AND HE IS ALMOST TORN TO PIECES BY THE
BLACK NATIVES OF THE KITCHEN.]


[Illustration: _RATHER SEVERE._

"SHALL I 'OLD YOUR 'ORSE, SIR?"]


[Illustration: _A FAULTY MIRROR._

"LOR! WHAT A MOST ABOMINABLE GLASS.--I DECLARE IT MAKES ONE LOOK A
PERFECT FRIGHT!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. VII.

FORTUNATELY FOR MR. BRIGGS (WHO _WILL_ LOAD HIS OWN GUN BECAUSE _THEN_
HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS ABOUT) THE KEEPER DISCOVERS THAT HE HAS PUT ABOUT
THREE-QUARTERS OF A POUND OF SHOT INTO HIS RIGHT-HAND BARREL.]


[Illustration: _GRAND SHOW OF PRIZE VEGETARIANS._]


[Illustration: _CONSOLATION._

"NOT KITCHED NONE! AH! SIR, YOU SHOULD HA' BIN HERE LAST TOOSDAY; THERE
WAS TOO GENTS KILLED A UNCOMMON SIGHT A' FISH TO BE SURE, THEN."]


[Illustration: _BOTTOM FISHING._

_Piscator No. 1. (miserably)._ "NOW, TOM, _DO_ LEAVE OFF. IT ISN'T OF
ANY USE; AND IT'S GETTING QUITE DARK."

_Piscator No. 2._ "LEAVE OFF!! WHAT A PRECIOUS DISAGREEABLE CHAP YOU
ARE. YOU COME OUT FOR A DAY'S PLEASURE AND YOU'RE ALWAYS A-WANTING TO
GO HOME!"]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. VIII.

FEW THINGS ARE MORE ANNOYING THAN TO BE SHORT OF POWDER WHEN THERE IS
A CHANCE OF GOOD SPORT. MR. BRIGGS FEELING THIS, ORDERS A GOOD SUPPLY,
TO BANG AWAY AT THE PHEASANTS TO-MORROW. HE SUGGESTS TO MRS. BRIGGS,
THAT IT SHOULD BE KEPT UNDER THEIR BED, TO BE OUT OF THE WAY OF THE
CHILDREN!!]


[Illustration: _A CAUTION TO LITTLE BOYS AT A FESTIVE SEASON._

_Mamma._ "WHY, MY DEAREST ALBERT, WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR?--SO GOOD,
TOO, AS YOU HAVE BEEN ALL DAY!"

_Spoiled Little Boy._ "BOO-HOO! I'VE EATEN SO--MUCH BE-EF AND T-TURKEY,
THAT I CANT EAT ANY P-PLUM P-P-PUDDING!"

    _Oh, what a very greedy little fellow!_]


[Illustration: _A PRIVATE OPINION._

"WELL, I THINK THIS IS THE NEATEST THING I HAVE SEEN FOR A LONG TIME."]


[Illustration: _PLEASANT._

_Old Acquaintance._ "AVE A DRAIN, BILL?"

_Bus Driver._ "WHY, YER SEE, JIM, THIS 'ERE YOUNG HOSS HAS ON'Y BIN
IN 'ARNES ONCE AFORE, AND HE'S SUCH A BEGGAR TO BOLT, TEN TO ONE
IF I LEAVE 'IM HE'LL BE A-RUNNIN' HOFF AND A-SMASHIN' INTO SUTHUN.
HOWSEVER--HERE (_handing reins to timid passenger_), LAY HOLD, SIR,
_I'LL CHANCE IT!_"]


[Illustration: _A REAL DIFFICULTY._

_Coachman._ "WHY--WHAT'S THE MATTER, JOHN THOMAS?"

_Footman._ "MATTER ENUFF! HERE'S THE MARCHIONESS BIN AN GIV ME NOTICE
BECAUSE I DON'T MATCH JOSEPH,--AND I MUST GO, UNLESS I CAN GET MY FAT
DOWN IN A WEEK!"]


[Illustration: _BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS._

_First._ "WUT TAK THY QUOAT OFF, THEN! OI TELL THEE OI'M AS GOOD A MON
AS THEE!"

_Second._ "THEE A MON! WHOY THEE BE'EST ONLY WALKING ABOUT TO SAVE THY
FUNERAL EXPENSES!"]


[Illustration: _ANOTHER BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS._

_First Polite Native._ "WHO'S 'IM, BILL?"

_Second Ditto._ "A STRANGER!"

_First Ditto._ "'EAVE 'ARF A BRICK AT 'IM."]


[Illustration: _UP TO WEIGHT._

_Stout Party._ "AHEM! I WANT TO HAVE A LOOK AT THE HOUNDS TO-MORROW! DO
YOU THINK YOU HAVE GOT ANYTHING THAT WOULD CARRY ME?"

_Stable Keeper._ "WELL, SIR! I THINK I HAVE TWO BROWN 'OSSES--AND A
OMNIBUS, AS PERHAPS MIGHT DO IT!"]


[Illustration: _WHY, INDEED?_

_Perceptive Child._ "MAMMA, DEAR! WHY DO THOSE GENTLEMEN DRESS
THEMSELVES LIKE THE FUNNY LITTLE MEN IN MY NOAH'S ARK?"]


[Illustration: _VERY CONSIDERATE._

_Affable Little Gentleman._ "DEAR, OH DEAR! HOW IT RAINS! I'M AFRAID
YOU'LL GET VERY WET--CAN I OFFER YOU A GREAT COAT OR ANYTHING?"]


[Illustration: _CHANGING THE SUBJECT._

_Old Gentleman._ "WELL, WALTER, I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE GOT INTO LATIN AND
GREEK AT SCHOOL BY THIS TIME, EH?"

_Juvenile._ "OH, YES, SIR. I HAVE JUST FINISHED XENOPHON AND
THUCYDIDES, AND AM NOW IN EURIPIDES. BY THE WAY, SIR, HOW WOULD YOU
RENDER THE PASSAGE BEGINNING [Greek: kakôs pepraktai pantachê]?"

_Old Gentleman._ "AHEM! HEY?--WHAT?--AHEM! HERE, RUGGLES, BRING ANOTHER
BOTTLE OF CLARET, AND--EH? WHAT? WALTER, I THINK YOU HAD BETTER JOIN
THE LADIES."]


[Illustration: _MEETING HIM HALF WAY._

_Young Hopeful._ "WELL, IT'S OF NO USE, GOVERNOR; I CAN'T STICK TO
BUSINESS. I WANT TO BE A SOLDIER, AND YOU MUST BUY ME A COMMISSION."

_Governor._ "NO, MY BOY, I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY YOU A COMMISSION, BUT
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I _WILL_ DO; IF YOU WILL GO DOWN TO CHATHAM AND
ENLIST, I WILL GIVE YOU MY WORD OF HONOUR I WON'T BUY YOU OFF!"]


[Illustration: _MEN OF THE WORLD._

_First Man of the World._ "HEARD OF MISS F----'s MARRIAGE, CHARLEY?"

_Second Do._ "AH! I HEARD IT SPOKEN OF. I BELIEVE IT WAS A MARRIAGE OF
INCLINATION ON BOTH SIDES?"

_First Do._ "YES! IT WAS A BAD JOB. THOSE MATCHES NEVER TURN OUT WELL!"]


[Illustration: _PATERFAMILIAS MAKES HIMSELF INDEPENDENT OF HOTELS._]


[Illustration: _THE BRITON ABROAD._

DID YOU EVER SEE TWO STRANGE ENGLISHMEN BREAKFASTING AT A TABLE D'HOTE
ABROAD? WELL! ISN'T IT A CHEERFUL THING?]


[Illustration: _THE GARRET AND THE CONSERVATORY._

_Genteel Pluralist._ "WHAT THE PEOPLE CAN WANT WITH A CRYSTAL PALACE
ON SUNDAYS, I CAN'T THINK! SURELY THEY OUGHT TO BE CONTENTED WITH THEIR
CHURCH AND THEIR HOME AFTERWARDS."]


[Illustration: _A THOROUGH GOOD COOK_

_Lady._ "THEN, WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR LAST PLACE, PRAY?"

_Cook._ "WELL, MA'AM, AFTER I'M DONE WORK, I AM VERY FOND OF SINGING
AND PLAYING ON THE ACCORDIUM, AND MISSUS HADN'T USED TO LIKE IT--AND SO
I GIVE NOTICE!"]


[Illustration: _DOMESTIC SANITARY REGULATIONS._]


[Illustration: _A MOST ALARMING SWELLING_!]


[Illustration: _INFORMATION._

"JEMMY! WHAT'S A STALL AT THE HOPERA?"

"WELL, I CAN'T SAY, NOT FOR CERTAIN; BUT I SUPPOSE IT'S WHERE THEY
SELLS THE HAPPLES, HORANGES, GINGER BEER AND BISKITS."]


[Illustration: _SELF-ESTEEM._

_Gentleman._ "SIXTY POUNDS A YEAR!! WHY, MAN, ARE YOU AWARE THAT SUCH A
SUM IS MORE THAN IS FREQUENTLY GIVEN TO A CURATE?"

_Flunkey._ "OH, YES, SIR; BUT THEN YOU WOULD HARDLY, I HOPE, GO FOR TO
COMPARE ME WITH THE HINFERIOR ORDER OF CLERGY."]


[Illustration: _GROSS INSULT._

_University "Man" having spent a few days in Town, at the end of Term
is about to go Home._

_Waiter (condescendingly)._ "GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, SIR?"

_University_ MAN (_hurling himself into Hansom_). "EUSTON
SQUA-A-A-RE!"]


[Illustration: _CANDID._

_Old Gent._ "THOMAS, I HAVE ALWAYS PLACED THE GREATEST CONFIDENCE IN
YOU. NOW TELL ME, THOMAS, HOW IS IT THAT MY BUTCHER'S BILLS ARE SO
LARGE, AND THAT I ALWAYS HAVE SUCH BAD DINNERS?"

_Thomas._ "REALLY, SIR, I DON'T KNOW, FOR I'M SURE WE NEVER HAVE
ANYTHING NICE IN THE KITCHEN THAT WE DON'T ALWAYS SEND _SOME_ OF IT UP
INTO THE PARLOUR!"]


[Illustration: _DE GUS-TIBUS._

_Uncle._ "SO, YOU'VE BEEN TO THE CRYSTAL PALACE--HAVE YOU, GUS?"

_Gus._ "YES, UNCLE."

_Uncle._ "WELL. NOW, I'LL GIVE YOU SIXPENCE IF YOU WILL TELL ME WHAT
YOU ADMIRED MOST IN THAT TEMPLE OF INDUSTRY?"

_Gus. (unhesitatingly)._ "VEAL AND 'AM PIES, AND THE GINGER BEER. GIVE
US THE SIXPENCE."]


[Illustration: _AN ENTHUSIASTIC FISHERMAN._

"WHAT A BORE! JUST LIKE MY LUCK. NO SOONER HAVE I GOT MY TACKLE READY,
AND SETTLED DOWN TO A BOOK, THAN THERE COMES A CONFOUNDED BITE!"]


[Illustration: _MELANCHOLY REVERSE OF FORTUNE._

"POOR SWEEPER, LADIES! RAILWAY DIRECTOR ONCE, LADIES!"]


[Illustration: _A COUNTRY BALL._

_First Amiable Lady (very loud)._ "WHAT A REMARKABLY ODD SET OF PEOPLE
ONE MEETS AT A PUBLIC BALL!"

_Second Do._ "OH, VERY DROLL!"

_Poor Little Swell._ "YETH; AND SO THWANGELY DRETHED!"]


[Illustration: _A FACT._

_Flunkey (out of place)._ "THERE'S JUST ONE QUESTION I SHOULD LIKE
TO ASK YOUR LADYSHIP--HAM I ENGAGED FOR WORK, OR HAM I ENGAGED FOR
ORNAMENT?"]


[Illustration: _RATHER AWKWARD FOR TOMKINS._

_Young Diana._ "I THINK, SIR, IF YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD AS TO GO FIRST,
AND BREAK THE TOP RAIL, MY PONY WOULD GET OVER."]


[Illustration: _AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS._

_Whip._ "HOLD HARD, GENTLEMEN! WARE WHEAT! WARE WHEAT!!"

_Young Farmer._ "COME ON, GENTLEMEN. NEVER MIND THE WHEAT--IT'S ONLY
THIRTY SHILLINGS A QUARTER!!"]


[Illustration: _PROFESSOR BUCKWHEAT IMPRESSING THE AGRICULTURAL MIND._]


[Illustration: _GOING "OUT" TO AN "AT HOME."_

_Lovely Woman (to brute of a Husband)._ "GOOD GRACIOUS, WILLIAM--FAST
ASLEEP! AND NOT DRESSED, I DECLARE! WHY IT'S NEARLY TWELVE O'CLOCK, AND
THE BROUGHAM HAS BEEN WAITING THIS HALF-HOUR. GO AND GET READY THIS
MOMENT, SIR!"]


[Illustration: _TERRIBLE DOMESTIC INCIDENT._

"LAWK, JOHN! IF YOU HAVEN'T BIN AND LET MASTER'S LIBERY FIRE OUT
AGAIN."]


[Illustration: _FILLING UP THE CENSUS PAPER._

_Wife of his Bosom._ "UPON MY WORD, MR PEEWITT! IS THIS THE WAY YOU
FILL UP YOUR CENSUS? SO YOU CALL YOURSELF THE 'HEAD OF THE FAMILY'--DO
YOU--AND ME A FEMALE!"]


[Illustration: _A SPORTING CHARACTER._

"ARE YOU GOING TO HASCOT, BILL?"

"WHY, YES; I'M GOING TO CHAPERONG THIS YOUNG FEMALE DOWN BY THE RAIL."]


[Illustration: _OUR FOREIGN VISITORS._

_Conductor._ "HOLD HARD, BILL! HERE'S A COUPLE MORE LEICESTER SQUARES
A-COMIN'."]


[Illustration: _TRUE RESPECTABILITY._

_First Costermonger._ "I WONDER A RESPECTABLE COVE LIKE YOU, BILL,
CARRIES YOUR OWN COLLYFLOWERS; WHY DON'T YER KEEP A CARRIDGE LIKE MINE?"

_Second Costermonger._ "WHY DON'T I KEEP A CARRIDGE? WHY, BECAUSE I
DON'T CHOOSE TO WASTE MY HINCUM IN MERE SHOW AND FASHIONABLE DISPLAY!"]


[Illustration: _THE OPERA._

_Box-Keeper._ "STALLS 216 AND 17. THIS WAY, MA'AM; LAST ROW, MA'AM.
WON'T YOU LIKE A BOOK, MA'AM?"]


[Illustration: _SEASONABLE QUESTION._

"DID YOU WANT YER DOOR SWEPT, MARM?"]


[Illustration: _A BRITISH RUFFIAN._

_Lady._ "IF YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH WHAT I HAVE GIVEN YOU, THERE'S A
GENTLEMAN HERE WHO WILL SETTLE WITH YOU."

_Cabman._ "NO, THERE _AIN'T_! THERE AIN'T _NO GENTLEMAN_ HERE!"

_Lady._ "I TELL YOU THERE IS. THERE IS A GENTLEMAN IN THIS HOUSE."

_Cabman._ "OH, NO, THERE AIN'T, _NOT IF HE BELONGS TO YOU!_"]


[Illustration: _TURFITES._

"I SAY, OLD FELLOW, HOW DO YOU GO TO THE DERBY THIS YEAR?"

"OH, THE OLD WAY--HAMPER AND FOUR."]


[Illustration: _UNSEASONABLE SPORT._

_Wife (much startled)._ "GOOD GRACIOUS, REGINALD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT GUN?"

_Reginald (who is very fond of shooting)._ "HUSH! HUSH! MY DEAR--I'VE
KILLED TWO!"

_Wife._ "MY GOODNESS! TWO WHAT?--THIEVES?"

_Reginald._ "NO, DEAR. TWO OF THOSE CONFOUNDED RABBITS THAT ARE ALWAYS
EATING THE VERBENA! THERE, GO TO SLEEP, DARLING--I'LL HAVE ANOTHER
DIRECTLY."]


[Illustration: _A YOUNG GENTLEMAN AND SCHOLAR._

_Fond Mother._ "WHY, HE DOESN'T WRITE VERY WELL YET, BUT HE GETS ON
NICELY WITH HIS SPELLING. COME, ALEXANDER, WHAT DOES D. O. G. SPELL?"

_Infant Prodigy (with extraordinary quickness)._ "CAT!"]


[Illustration: "_THAT IS THE QUESTION._"

IS WESKETS TO BE GENERALLY WORE THIS SUMMER?]


[Illustration: _ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT._

_Dealer._ "THERE! HE AIN'T A 'ORSE MADE UP FOR SALE, HE'LL GO ON
IMPROVIN' EVERY DAY YOU KEEP HIM--HE WILL."]


[Illustration: _EASY SHAVING._]


[Illustration: _ARITHMETIC IN THE UNIVERSITY._

"I SAY, FRANK, MY BOY--IF TROUNCER'S AT 5 TO 2, AND NUTSHELL AT 3 TO 1,
WHAT'S THE BETTING AGAINST THE PAIR OF THEM!"

"I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW--TAKE YOU 6 TO 1."]


[Illustration: _STARTLING EFFECT OF THE "GOLD DIGGINS."_

Reduced Goldsmith (_loq._). "NOW THEN, HERE YOU ARE!--A HANDSOME GOLD
SNUFFBOX AND A HA'PORTH OF SNUFF FOR A PENNY!"]


[Illustration: _A TEST OF STRENGTH._

_First Languid Party._ "DON'T YOU FIND SEA-AIR VERY STRENGTHENING,
JACK?"

_Second Ditto, Ditto._ "AH, VEWY! I COULD THROW STONES IN THE WATER ALL
DAY!"]


[Illustration: _ELEGANT AND RATIONAL DINNER COSTUME FOR CLOSE WEATHER._]


[Illustration: _HOW DO =YOU= LIKE IT?_]


[Illustration: _A HEAVY BLOW._

_Alderman Gobble._ "WHAW-T; PULL DOWN TEMPLE BAR? OH DEAR! RING FOR THE
SHERRY. THEY'LL BE FOR DESTROYING GOG AND MAGOG NEXT.]"


[Illustration: _OYSTERS IN JUNE--DELICIOUS!_

"NOW, MY LITTLE MAN--HERE'S YOUR FINE NATIVES! ONLY A PENNY A LOT."]


[Illustration: _A PRODIGIOUS NUISANCE._

_Learned (but otherwise highly objectionable) Child (loq.)._ "OH,
MAMMA, DEAR! WHAT DO YOU THINK? I ASKED MR. ---- AND MISS ---- TO
NAME SOME OF THE REMARKABLE EVENTS FROM THE YEAR 700 TO THE YEAR 600
B.C., AND THEY COULDN'T. BUT _I_ CAN--AND--THE SECOND MESSINIAN WAR
COMMENCED; AND--THE POET TYRTÆUS FLOURISHED; BYZANTIUM WAS FOUNDED BY
THE INHABITANTS OF MEGARA; DRACO GAVE LAWS TO ATHENS; TERPANDER OF
LESBOS, THE MUSICIAN AND POET; THALES OF MILETUS, THE PHILOSOPHER;
ALCÆUS AND SAPPHO, THE POETS, FLOURISHED; AND NEBUCHADNEZ----"

    [_Sensation from right and left, during which the voice of
    Child is happily drowned._ ]


[Illustration: LITTLE BOY HAS A PENN'ORTH--

_ALARMING RESULT!_]


[Illustration: _HOW TO MAKE CULPRITS COMFORTABLE; OR, HINTS FOR PRISON
DISCIPLINE._]


[Illustration: _SAILORS ON SHORE CAROUSING--AS IT WILL BE WHEN THE GROG
IS STOPPED._]


[Illustration: _SUBURBAN FELICITY. GRATIFYING DOMESTIC (POULTRY)
INCIDENT._

_Buttons._ "OH! PLEASE'M! BE QUICK'M! HERE'S THE COACHING CHINA A
CLUCKING LIKE ANYTHINK. HE'VE BEEN AND LAID A HEGG!!!"]


[Illustration: _DURING THE FROST A CERTAIN FOX-HUNTER INCREASES IN
WEIGHT, AND GETS TOO BIG FOR HIS CLOTHES._]


MR. BRIGG'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. IX.

_TABLEAU--REPRESENTING MR. BRIGGS OUT FOR A DAY'S RABBIT-SHOOTING._]


[Illustration: _COLD COMFORT._

_Country Friend to Sporting Gent from Town._ "WELL, JACK, I TOLD YOU WE
SHOULD HAVE A CAPITAL DAY. YOU SEE THE FROST IS QUITE GONE."]


[Illustration: _THE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT._

_Railway Guard._ "NOW, MA'AM, IS THIS YOUR LUGGAGE?"

_Old Lady (who concludes she is attacked by Brigands)._ "OH, YES!
GENTLEMEN, IT'S MINE. TAKE IT--TAKE ALL I HAVE--BUT SPARE, OH SPARE OUR
LIVES!!"]


[Illustration: _TRUE POLITENESS._

_Alderman Gobble._ "NOW, THEN, GALS! I'VE QUITE DONE. CAN I GET YOU ANY
GRUB?"]


MR. BRIGG'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.


[Illustration: No. X

_A FRIEND HAS GIVEN MR. BRIGGS A DAY'S SHOOTING._

A COCK PHEASANT GETS UP, AND MR. BRIGGS'S IMPRESSION IS, THAT A
VERY LARGE FIREWORK HAS BEEN LET OFF CLOSE TO TO HIM. HE IS ALMOST
FRIGHTENED TO DEATH.]


[Illustration: _FISHING--WITH FLIES._]


[Illustration: _THE OLD GENTLEMAN IS IN A HURRY TO GET TO THE
STATION--CAB-HORSE JIBS MOST RESOLUTELY._

_Old Gent._ "NOW, THEN, DRIVER. WHATS THE MATTER?"

_Cabman._ "OH, IT'S NOTHIN', SIR. HE'S ONLY A LEETLE TOO FRESH, SIR!"]


[Illustration: _HOW No. 4 ENJOYED HIMSELF,_ AND _HOW _No._ 8 SUFFERED
IN CONSEQUENCE._]


[Illustration: _SPEAK AS YOU THINK._

"ARE YOU GOING?"

"WHY, YE-ES. THE FACT IS, THAT YOUR PARTY IS SO SLOW, AND I AM WEALLY
SO INFERNALLY BORED, THAT I SHALL GO SOMEWHERE AND SMOKE A QUIET CIGAR."

"WELL, GOOD NIGHT. AS YOU ARE BY NO MEANS HANDSOME, A GREAT PUPPY, AND
NOT IN THE LEAST AMUSING, I THINK IT'S THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO."]


[Illustration: _A HORRIBLE BUSINESS._

_Master Butcher._ "DID YOU TAKE OLD MAJOR DUMBLEDORE'S RIBS TO NO. 12?"

_Boy._ "YES, SIR."

_Master Butcher._ "THEN CUT MISS WIGGLES'S SHOULDER AND NECK, AND HANG
MR. FOODLE'S LEGS TILL THEY'RE QUITE TENDER!"]


MR. BRIGG'S PLEASURES OF RACING.


[Illustration: No. I.

_MR. BRIGGS HAS BACKED HIMSELF TO RIDE A STEEPLE CHASE AGAINST HIS
FRIEND MUFFINS, OF THE ST--K EXCH--NGE. HE IS GOING ROUND THE COURSE
JUST TO LOOK AT THE JUMPS._

_Spectator (to MR. B.)_. "OH NO, SIR!--THIS AIN'T THE BIG ONE. THE BIG
ONE IS AFTER YOU GET OUT OF THE LANE, AND AFORE YOU COME TO THE BROOK!"]


[Illustration: _OUR ENGLISH CLIMATE._

MAY-DAY FOR THE SWEEPS.]


MR. BRIGG'S PLEASURES OF RACING.


[Illustration: No. II.

MR. BRIGGS IS WEIGHED, OF COURSE.]


[Illustration: No. III.

HIS FRIENDS RECOMMEND HIM A LITTLE JUMPING POWDER.]


[Illustration: No. IV.

HERE HE TAKES A PRELIMINARY CANTER, AND PUTS HIS HORSE AT A FLIGHT OF
HURDLES.]


[Illustration: No. V.

AND GETS OVER VERY CLEVERLY.]


[Illustration: No. VI.

SOME TIME AFTER THE START, MR. BRIGGS GOES ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE
FLAG, AND IS OBLIGED TO GO BACK, WHICH, AS THE GROUND IS RATHER HEAVY,
"TAKES IT OUT OF OLD BLUNDERBUSS CONSIDERABLY."]


[Illustration: No. VII.

WHO, IN CONSEQUENCE, MAKES A MISTAKE AT THE NEXT FENCE.]


MR. BRIGG'S PLEASURES OF RACING


[Illustration: No. VIII.

HOWEVER, MR. BRIGGS IS NOT HURT; AND, AFTER SOME EXERTION,
RE-MOUNTS.]


[Illustration: No. IX.

MR. BRIGGS, AS HE APPEARED COMING TO THE BROOK. IN THE DISTANCE MAY BE
OBSERVED HIS OPPONENT, WHO HAS A NASTY FALL, BUT FORTUNATELY TUMBLES ON
HIS HEAD.]


[Illustration: No. X.

MR. BRIGGS AS HE APPEARED IN THE BROOK.]


[Illustration: No XI.

AS HE APPEARED WHEN HE CAME OUT OF THE BROOK.]


[Illustration: No. XII.

PORTRAIT OF MR. BRIGGS WINNING THE RACE. N.B. THE DENSE CROWD IS
CHEERING HIM.]


[Illustration: _DISTRESSING RESULT OF EMIGRATION._

_Lady._ "YES, MY DEAR. JOHN LEFT US WITHOUT ANY WARNING, AND WE
CAN'T MATCH THE OTHER FOOTMAN, BECAUSE ALL THE TALL MEN ARE GONE TO
AUSTRALIA."]


[Illustration: _THE ROAD-SIDE ON THE DERBY DAY._

A "DRAG" FULL OF GUARDSMEN IS SUPPOSED TO BE PASSING.]


[Illustration: _DOMESTIC BLISS._

_Young Mother (joyously)._ "THE DEAR LITTLE CREATURE IS GETTING ON SO
NICELY; ITS BEGINNING QUITE TO TAKE NOTICE."--_First Mother of a Family
(blandly)._ "OH! MY DEAR! THAT IS NOT TAKING NOTICE; ITS ONLY THE
WIND."--_Second Ditto._ "YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A LITTLE DILL-WATER, DEAR,
YOU WOULD FIND," &c. &c.--_Third Ditto._ "WELL, IF IT WAS MY CHILD, I
SHOULD," &c. &c.--_Fourth Ditto._ "NOW, WHEN I WAS NURSING MY LITTLE
GREGORY, I USED," &c. &c.--_Fifth Ditto._ "WELL, NOW, I WOULD NOT FOR
THE WORLD THAT A BABY OF MINE," &c. &c.--_Sixth Ditto._ "INDEED, I
HAVE KNOWN CHILDREN OBLIGED TO ENDURE THE MOST HORRIBLE AGONY," &c.
&c.--_Seventh Ditto._ "DEPEND UPON IT, LOVE; AND YOU KNOW I HAVE HAD A
LARGE FAMILY--AND IF YOU WILL BE ADVISED BY ME," &c. &c.

    [_Young Mother becomes quite bewildered, and gives herself up
    to despair._]


[Illustration: _SEA-SIDE LITERATURE FOR YOUNG LADIES; OR, DELIGHTS OF
CROCHET._

_First Young Lady (reads)._ "10TH ROW--3 LONG WITH THREE CHAIN AFTER
EACH INTO THIRD SMALL SPACE, 1 LONG INTO SAME SPACE, 5 LONG WITH THREE
CHAIN AFTER EACH INTO MIDDLE SPACE, 1 LONG INTO SAME SPACE, 3 LONG WITH
3 CHAIN AFTER EACH INTO NEXT SPACE, 1 LONG IN SAME SPACE, 5 CHAIN,
DITTO IN MIDDLE OF LARGE SPACE, 5 CHAIN; REPEAT."

_Second and Third Young Ladies (in ecstacies)._ "OH, HOW SWEETLY
PRETTY!!!"]


[Illustration: _FRIGHTFUL UPSET OF DIGNITY._

_Conductor._ "NOW, MARM! WITE-CHAPEL, OR MILE-END?--ONLY A PENNY"]


[Illustration: _INTERESTING._

"I HAVE CALLED, MR. SQUILLS, TO SAY THAT MY DARLING LITTLE DOG (!) HAS
TAKEN ALL HIS MIXTURE, BUT HIS COUGH IS NO BETTER."]


[Illustration: _SUMMER IN ELYSIUM._ AND _THE LONG VACATION IN ARCADIA._]


[Illustration: _A SAVAGE REPROOF._

_Indignant Master of Hounds._ "NOW, YOU SIR! MIND THE HOUND! HE'S WORTH
FORTY TIMES AS MUCH AS YOUR HORSE!"]


[Illustration: _WHAT A DREADFUL STORY!_

_Stout Party._ "STOP! HERE! CABMAN! WE WANT TO GO AS FAR TER-WARDS
WHITECHAPEL AS WE CAN FOR SIXPENCE!"

_Cabman._ "VERY SORRY, MUM! BUT THE OSS HAS BIN OUT ALL DAY--DEAD BEAT,
MUM--GOING HOME, MUM."]


[Illustration: _IS IT SO?_

_Old Lady (loq.)._ "BLESS MY HEART! HOW RIDICULOUSLY SMALL THEY DO MAKE
THE EYES OF THE NEEDLES NOW-A-DAYS, TO BE SURE!"]


[Illustration: _A SELL._

_Enter_ SPORTING YOUTH, _who has lost the hounds_.

_Youth._ "SEEN THE HOUNDS GO THROUGH HERE, PIKEY?"

_Pikey._ "E-AS, A HAVE--TUPPENSE!"

_A lapse of twenty minutes is supposed to have taken place, when Youth
pays the twopence and gallops on._


[Illustration: _Re-enter_ SPORTING YOUTH.

_Youth (in a high state of excitement)._ "WHY, CONFOUND YOU! I THOUGHT
YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD SEEN THE HOUNDS GO THROUGH HERE?"

_Pikey._ "E-AS, SO A DID; SEED 'EM YESTERDAY!"]


[Illustration: _PRIDE._

_Page._ "THAT POOR DEVIL AIN'T MIXED MUCH IN SOCIETY."]


[Illustration: _A BOAT FOR AN HOUR._

_Stout Gentleman._ "WHAT! IS THAT THE ONLY BOAT YOU HAVE IN?"]


[Illustration: _FISHING OFF BRIGHTON._

"OH, YES! IT'S VERY EASY TO SAY 'CATCH HOLD OF HIM!'"]


[Illustration: _AGGRAVATING--RATHER!_]


[Illustration: _FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE._

"OH! HERE'S A GO! BLOWED IF I AIN'T LOST MY DIAMOND RING!"]


[Illustration: _THE NEW PURCHASE._

_Blanche (who dotes on horses)._ "THERE, FRANK. ISN'T SHE A PRETTY
CREATURE? PAPA GAVE HER TO ME THIS MORNING--SHE IS SO GOOD-TEMPERED
AND WHAT A NICE HEAD AND NECK SHE HAS! HASN'T SHE? SHE'S QUITE YOUNG,
TOO--AND SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOUTH!--NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY, SIR, EH?"

_Frank (who is so absurd)._ "H'M! LETS SEE, PRETTY
CREATURE!--GOOD-TEMPERED!--NICE HEAD AND NECK!--YOUNG!--AND A BEAUTIFUL
MOUTH!--WHY, I SAY, YOU MAKE A CAPITAL PAIR!"]


[Illustration: _SEA-SIDE.--THE BATHING HOUR._]


[Illustration: _DOING IT THOROUGHLY._

_Old Gent._ "I SAY, MY LITTLE MAN, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS HOLD YOUR PONY
TOGETHER GOING UP HILL, AND OVER PLOUGHED LAND!"

_Young Nimrod._ "ALL RIGHT, OLD COCK! DON'T YOU TEACH YOUR GRANDMOTHER
TO SUCK EGGS! THERE'S MY MAN BY THE HAY-STACK WITH MY SECOND HORSE!"]


[Illustration: _NOT WHAT HE WANTED._

MR. HAYCOCK, HAVING HEARD OF THE MERITS OF BRUISED OATS FOR HORSES,
REQUESTS HIS FRIEND BRIGGS TO SEND HIM A COUPLE OF "BRUISERS."

MR. BRIGGS DESPATCHES THE "WHITECHAPEL CHICKEN" AND THE "BAYSWATER
SLASHER."]


[Illustration: _WAITING FOR A DIP._

_Proprietor of Machine (loq.)._ "SORRY TO KEEP YOU SUCH A LONG TIME A
WAITIN', SIR; BUT REALLY THEY STOP IN SUCH A TIME THAT WE HAVEN'T A
MACHINE TO BLESS OURSELVES WITH. THERE'S CRUMPTON'S COTTAGES HAS BEEN
IN THE WATER THIS THREE-QUARTERS OF AN HOUR; AND ALBION HOUSE TAKES THE
LONGEST TIME TO DRESS OF ANY GENT I EVER SEE. OH! HERE'S PROSPECT PLACE
A COMING HOUT. NOW YOU CAN GO IN, SIR."]


[Illustration: _PORTRAIT OF A LADY._]


[Illustration: _JUST LIKE HIM._

_MR. BR--GGS (We suppress the Gentleman's name for obvious reasons)_
THINKS HE WILL GO TO HAMPTON RACES.]


THE BROOK-GREEN VOLUNTEER.


[Illustration: No. I.

SALUTING HIS SUPERIOR OFFICERS.]


[Illustration: No. II.

HAVING A LITTLE BALL PRACTICE.]


[Illustration: No. III.

GOING ON DUTY.]


[Illustration: _GROUNDLESS ALARM._

_Equestrian._ "NOW, BOY, DON'T YOU BE TAKING OFF YOUR HAT TO MAKE ME A
BOW--YOU'LL FRIGHTEN MY HORSE."

_Boy._ "A--A--A WARN'T A-GOING TO!"]


[Illustration: _WOUNDED PRIDE._

_Small Boy._ "NOW, THEN, YOU SIR! DON'T YOU KNOW NO
BETTER THAN TO RUN AGIN A MIMBER O' PARLIAMENT--JUST
YOU COME BACK, AND PICK UP MY 'AT, OR I'M BLOWED IF I
DON'T MAKE YER!"]


[Illustration: _FLY-FISHING._

FAVOURABLE WIND AND THE TROUT RISING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.]


THE BROOK-GREEN VOLUNTEER.


[Illustration: No. IV.

FORMS HIMSELF INTO A SQUARE, AND RESISTS A CHARGE OF CAVALRY.]


[Illustration: No. V.

RECEIVES PRESENTATION OF COLOURS.]


[Illustration: _MASTER OF THE SITUATION._

_Flunkey._ "I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR--BUT THERE IS ONE THING I SHOULD
LIKE TO MENTION AT ONCE. I AM AFRAID--A--THAT I AM EXPECTED TO CLEAN
THE BOOTS."

_Gentleman._ "BLESS ME! OH DEAR, NO! THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE; I
ALWAYS CLEAN THEM MYSELF--AND IF YOU WILL LEAVE YOUR SHOES OUTSIDE YOUR
DOOR, I WILL GIVE THEM A POLISH AT THE SAME TIME."]


[Illustration: _ONLY A PENNY! A SENSIBLE AND INGENIOUS TOY FOR
CHILDREN._

(_See London Streets._)]


[Illustration: _TOPSY-TURVEYDOM._]


THE BROOK-GREEN VOLUNTEER.


[Illustration: No. VI.

HAVING BEEN DRUNK AND DISORDERLY, IS ORDERED BY HIS "DASHING WHITE
SERJEANT" TO DO DOUBLE DUTY.]


[Illustration: No. VII.

THE NIGHTS ARE STILL CHILLY; THEREFORE OUR FRIEND WARMS THE BED FOR HIS
FAMILY PREVIOUS TO HIS GOING ON GUARD.]


[Illustration: _AN ORNAMENT TO SOCIETY._

_Equestrian._ "NO, I SHAN'T STOP FOR THE LAST RACE; I MUST GET TO TOWN
TO GO TO AN EVENING PARTY."]


[Illustration: _MIGHT IS RIGHT._

_Van Driver._ "I DON'T KNOW NUTHUN ABOUT NO RIGHT SIDES NOR WRONG
SIDES. YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY, IF YER DON'T WANT TO BE MADE A WAFER OF!"

    [_Where are the Police?_]


[Illustration: _LONG VACATION._

"NOW THEN, LATITAT, TUCK IN YOUR SIX-AND-EIGHTPENNY!"]


[Illustration: _THE TRIAL-FOR-MURDER MANIA._

"ALL IN! ALL IN! WALK UP, LADIES! JUST A GOING TO BEGIN! NONE OF YOUR
SHAMS HERE, BUT REAL BULLET-HEADED MURDERERS! ALL IN! ALL IN!"]


[Illustration: _THE SILVER AGE._

_Emma._ "WHAT DO YOU THINK, DEAR GRAN'MA? THE LADIES IN PARIS WEAR
THEIR HAIR TAKEN OFF THE FOREHEAD AND SPRINKLED WITH SILVER!"

_Grandma._ "DO THEY, INDEED! WELL, MY DARLING, SO LONG AS THEY ARE
RESPECTABLE, THERE CAN BE NO HARM IN GREY LOCKS."]


[Illustration: _DELIGHTS OF TRAVEL._

"DEAR! DEAR! DEAR! HOW VERY PROVOKING! HERE'S ONE
END OF THE BARREL COME OUT, AND ALL THE OYSTERS MIXED
WITH MY CLEAN COLLARS!"]


[Illustration: _A MYSTERIOUS VISITOR._

_Domestic._ "HERE'S MISS BRADSHAW, MUM, HAS JUST COME; SHE'S GONE
UP-STAIRS, MUM."

_Angelina._ "OH, VERY WELL--I WILL--"

_Edwin._ "BRADSHAW!! WHO THE DEUCE IS MISS BRADSHAW?"

_Angelina._ "OH, IT'S NOTHING OF CONSEQUENCE, DEAR--SHALL I GIVE YOU
SOME MORE TEA, DEAR?"

_Edwin._ "YES; BUT WHO IS MISS BRADSHAW? WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME WHO MISS
BRADSHAW IS?"

_Angelina._ "LAW! EDWIN! IF YOU MUST KNOW, IT'S--IT'S--TH'--THE
_DRESSMAKER_."]


[Illustration: _YOUNG AFFECTION._]


_THE BEST PREVENTIVE AGAINST SEA-SICKNESS._


[Illustration: No. I.

WHEN YOU CROSS THE CHANNEL, ESPECIALLY IF IT SHOULD BE BLOWING HARD,
"KEEP YOUR PECKER UP" (AS THAT AGREEABLE RATTLE, YOUNG FIPPSON, CALLS
IT) BY MAKING A HEARTY MEAL AT THE "SHIP" OR "PAVILION."]


[Illustration: No. III.

_THE RESULT._]


[Illustration: No. II.

AND ONCE ON BOARD, FIX YOUR EYES UPON SOME DISTANT OBJECT, AND ADAPT
THE MOVEMENTS OF YOUR BODY TO THE ROLLING OF THE VESSEL, AND THE RESULT
WILL PROBABLY BE, AS SHOWN ABOVE IN NO. III.]


[Illustration: _ALARMING EFFECT PRODUCED BY IMPRUDENTLY TRYING THE HAT
AND TABLE-MOVING EXPERIMENT._]


[Illustration: _VERY KIND._

"WELL! GOOD BYE, UNCLE! I'VE ENJOYED MYSELF VERY MUCH IN THE COUNTRY;
AND IF YOU WILL RUN UP TO LONDON AT ANY TIME, I'LL SHOW YOU A LITTLE
LIFE!"]


[Illustration: SET FAIR.]


[Illustration: STORMY, AND MUCH RAIN.]


_OUT OF TOWN._


[Illustration: _A BATH AT BOULOGNE._

APPALLING POSITION OF MR. AND MRS. TOMKINS, WHO HAD A JIB HORSE WHEN
THE TIDE WAS COMING IN.]


[Illustration: _DOMESTIC EVENT IN THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS._--No. I.

THE NOSE OF THE HIPPOPOTAMUS PUT OUT OF JOINT BY THE YOUNG ELEPHANT.]


[Illustration: _DOMESTIC EVENT IN THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS._--No. II.

DELICATE STATE OF THE HIPPOPOTAMUS. IT IS ORDERED CHANGE OF AIR, AND A
LITTLE SEA-BATHING.]


[Illustration: _DOMESTIC EVENT IN THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS._--No. III.

THE HIPPOPOTAMUS HAS QUITE RECOVERED, AND IS TAKEN OUT FOR AN AIRING.]


[Illustration: _CONSOLS AT 90._

_Husband._ "WELL! I DECLARE I'M QUITE GLAD IT'S A WET DAY. IT WILL BE
AN EXCUSE TO STOP AT HOME WITH MY DARLING LITTLE PIPSEY POPSY. WHAT DO
YOU SAY, DICKEY! EH? PRETTY DICK! PRETTY DICK!"]


[Illustration: _CONSOLS AT 80._

_Husband._ "GO OUT FOR A WALK! NONSENSE! I'VE SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.
I THINK TOO, YOU MIGHT PULL DOWN THAT BLIND, UNLESS YOU WANT THE SUN
TO SPOIL ALL THE FURNITURE; AND, DEAR, DEAR, DO FOR GOODNESS' SAKE,
JEMIMA, TAKE THAT D---- CANARY OUT OF THE ROOM!"]


[Illustration: _A BIT OF SERIOUS PANTOMIME._

A MESSAGE FROM THE LORDS.]


[Illustration: _ANOTHER BIT OF SERIOUS PANTOMIME._

"HATS OFF, STRANGERS!"]


[Illustration: _NEW CRICKETING DRESSES TO PROTECT ALL ENGLAND AGAINST
THE PRESENT SWIFT BOWLING._]


[Illustration: _AQUATICS._

WHO IS THIS? WHY, THIS IS MR. JOHN CHUBB PULLING ONE OF HIS LONG, SLOW,
STEADY STROKES. HE IS TAKING MORE PAINS THAN USUAL, BECAUSE THOSE
PRETTY GIRLS IN THE ROUND HATS ARE SITTING ON THE LAWN DRAWING FROM
NATURE.]


[Illustration: AND--HERE ARE THE GIRLS IN THE ROUND HATS.]


[Illustration: _THE NEW GROOM._

_Gentleman._ "DO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE CARE OF
HORSES?"

_Boy._ "WELL, SIR, I HAD OUGHT TO--FOR I'VE BEEN AMONGST 'EM ALL MY
LIFE."]


[Illustration: _AN ANCIENT IMPOSTOR._

_Youths._ "THEN, I SUPPOSE, WHEN YOU WERE A SMUGGLER, YOU USED TO HAVE
REG'LAR COMBATS AND FIGHTS?"

_Boatman._ "COMBATS AND FIGHTS! LOR LOVE YER, WE WOS A'MOST ALWAYS AT
IT. ONCE IN PARTICKLER I CALL TO MIND. I HAD THREE BALLS THROUGH MY
HEAD AND TWO IN THE STUMMUCK (WHICH I FEEL 'EM NOW SOMETIMES IN THE
WINTER I DO), BESIDES BEIN' RUN THROUGH WITH A CUTLASS, AND ALL MY
FRONT TEETH KNOCKED OUT BY THE PERWENTIVE MAN'S TELESCOPE, WICH LUCKILY
SHUT UP, OR THERE'S NO KNOWIN' WOT MIGHT 'A BIN THE CONSEQUENCE. AH!
THERE _WOS_ GOINGS ON THEN. BUT, LOR, IT AIN'T NOTHIN' LIKE IT NOW!"

[_Youths are deeply impressed._]


[Illustration: _A REFLECTION._

ALTHOUGH POLICEMEN ARE PLACED AT PARTICULAR SPOTS FOR THE PURPOSE
OF MAKING OMNIBUSES "MOVE ON," THEY ARE GENERALLY SEEN CHATTING, OR
CRACKING THE FRIENDLY WALNUT WITH THE CONDUCTORS, TO THE INCONVENIENCE
AND INDIGNATION OF THE PASSENGERS. HOW IS THIS?]


MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HORSEKEEPING.


[Illustration: NO. X.

_BY THE TIME MR. BRIGGS'S HORSE HAS RECOVERED FROM HIS COLD, A LONG
FROST SETS IN._

_Groom._ "THAT'S JUST WHAT I SAY, SIR; IT IS AGGERAVATIN' TO SEE A NICE
OSS LIKE THAT, SIR, A DOIN' NOTHIN' BUT EATIN' HIS 'ED OFF."]


[Illustration: _A GREAT BARGAIN._

TO BE SOLD--THE PROPERTY OF AN OFFICER GOING ABROAD.]


[Illustration: _THE HAT-MOVING EXPERIMENT._

IT IS NECESSARY TO GET A HAT. TWO OR MORE PERSONS PLACE THEIR HANDS ON
THE RIM THEREOF, THE LITTLE FINGERS OF EACH PERSON BEING IN CONTACT. IN
ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES, OR HALF-AN-HOUR, OR PERHAPS MORE, THE HAT WILL
BEGIN TO JUMP AND REVOLVE RAPIDLY.

(_N.B. The Party above with the Moustaches, thinks that in the pursuit
of Science he could perform the experiment over and over again._)]


[Illustration: _SHAKSPEARE A LITTLE ALTERED._

"HE LIVED NOT WISELY, BUT TOO WELL."]


[Illustration: _USELESS INFORMATION._

"NOW, MARM, THIS GOES TO THE CHRISTIAL PALIS."

"BLESS THE MAN! I DON'T WANT NO CHRISTIAL PALISES. I AM GOIN' TO THE
BOROUGH."]


THE BROOK-GREEN VOLUNTEER.


[Illustration: NO. VIII.

HAVING A COLD IN HIS HEAD, RESORTS TO AN INGENIOUS METHOD OF PRESERVING
HIS HEALTH WITHOUT DESERTING HIS POST.]


[Illustration: _THE DEAR DELIGHTS OF BRITAIN'S SUMMER FIELDS._ OVER THE
STYLE.]


[Illustration: _THE DEAR DELIGHTS OF BRITAIN'S SUMMER FIELDS._
HAYMAKING.]


THE BROOK-GREEN VOLUNTEER.


[Illustration: No. IX.

_THE BIVOUAC._]


[Illustration: No. X.

_AT BUSINESS._

_Militia Man_ (_loq._). "ALEXANDER, WHEN YOU'VE TITTIVATED THAT GENT,
YOU MUST COME TO DRILL."]


[Illustration: _COMPARATIVE LOVE._

_Papa._ "SO, CHARLEY, YOU REALLY ARE IN LOVE WITH THE LITTLE BLACK-EYED
GIRL YOU MET LAST NIGHT?"

_Charley._ "YES, PAPA, I LOVE HER DEARLY!"

_Papa._ "HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE HER, CHARLEY? DO YOU LOVE HER AS MUCH AS
PUDDING?"

_Charley._ "OH YES, PAPA! AND A GREAT DEAL BETTER THAN PUDDING, BUT
(_pausing to reflect_)--I DON'T LOVE--HER SO MUCH AS--JELLY!"]


[Illustration: _PLEASURES OF THE STUDIO._

WHEN EVERY MOMENT IS OF CONSEQUENCE, MR. FLAKE WHITE'S MODEL FOR
HAMLET APPEARS WITH A BLACK EYE, WHICH HE DECLARES IS THE EFFECT OF
INFLUENZA.]


THE BROOK-GREEN VOLUNTEER.


[Illustration: NO. XI.

HAVING CURED HIS COLD WITH RUM-AND-WATER, RESOLVES NOT TO GO HOME "TILL
DAY-LIGHT DOES APPEAR." HE ASSURES THE POLICEMAN THAT "IT'S ALL RIGHT."]


[Illustration: NO. XII.

OWING TO THE MILDNESS OF THE SEASON, HE LOOKS UP HIS DUCKS.]


[Illustration: _SO FOND OF IT._

"THERE NOW; THAT'S A CIGAR I CAN CONFIDENTLY RECOMMEND."

"WELL; PUT ME UP A DOZEN TO TRY!"]


[Illustration: _DIFFERENCE OF VIEW._

_Head of the Family._ "FOR WHAT WE ARE GOING TO RECEIVE, MAKE US TRULY
THANKFUL.--HEM! COLD MUTTON AGAIN!"

_Wife of his Bussum._ "AND A VERY GOOD DINNER TOO, ALEXANDER,
_SOMEBODY_ MUST BE ECONOMICAL. _PEOPLE_ CAN'T EXPECT TO HAVE _RICHMOND_
AND _GREENWICH_ DINNERS OUT OF THE LITTLE HOUSEKEEPING MONEY I HAVE."]


[Illustration: _WHOLESOME PREJUDICE._

"RAILROADS, SIR? I HATE RAILROADS, AND I SHALL BE VERY GLAD WHEN
THEY'RE DONE AWAY WITH, AND WE'VE GOT THE COACHES AGAIN."]


[Illustration: _PREPARING FOR THE DERBY._

"I SAY, MISTER, JUST PUT US UP A COUPLE OF GREEN WEILS, WILL YER? THE
DUST IS SO UNCOMMON DISAGREEABLE A-DRIVING DOWN TO HEPSOM!"]


[Illustration: _ALL IS VANITY._]


THE BROOK-GREEN VOLUNTEER.


[Illustration: NO. XIII.

HAVING GIVEN HIMSELF LEAVE OF ABSENCE, HE ENJOYS A LITTLE DOMESTIC
FELICITY.]


[Illustration: _A YOUNG PATRICIAN._

_First Swell._ "WHAT AN ASTONISHING COAT, GUS!"

_Second Do._ "YA-AS! YOU SEE ALL THE SNOBS DWESS SO INFERN'LY
LOUD--THAT FWED AND I THOUGHT WE WOULD COME DOWN VEWY QUIET."]


[Illustration: _HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN._

A DESIGN, SHOWING HOW THE PRETTY HOODS WORN BY LADIES MIGHT BE MADE
USEFUL AS WELL AS ORNAMENTAL.]


[Illustration: _THE END OF A FIVE MINUTES' BURST._

_Stout Gentleman._ "THAT'S THE WAY TO GO OVER A GATE! I DON'T THINK YOU
LEFT ME SO FAR BEHIND THAT TIME."]


[Illustration: _REMOVING._--No. I.

_Father of the Family._ "OH, IT'S ALL STUFF AND NONSENSE, MRS. G., IT
MIGHT HAVE BEEN MANAGED OVER AND OVER AGAIN BY THIS TIME."

_Mrs. G._ "LAW, MY DEAR, HOW YOU TALK! AND I'M SURE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
PUT TO MUCH INCONVENIENCE."

_Mother-in-Law._ "THERE, THERE, JEMIMA. DON'T ANSWER HIM; IT'S QUITE
RIDICULOUS."]


[Illustration: _GROUSE SHOOTING LATE IN THE SEASON. JOLLY, VERY._

"COME ALONG, OLD FELLOW! HERE'S A POINT!"]


[Illustration: _REMOVING._--No. II.

FIRST NIGHT IN THE NEW HOUSE--AWFUL DISCOVERY OF BLACK BEETLES.]


[Illustration: _PERFECT SINCERITY; OR, THINKINGS ALOUD._

NO. I.

_Mamma._ "YOU ARE A DISAGREEABLE OLD BACHELOR, AND GENERALLY HATE
CHILDREN, I KNOW--BUT ISN'T DEAR LITTLE WORMWOOD A FINE, NOBLE LITTLE
FELLOW?"

_Old Gent._ "WELL, IF YOU WANT MY CANDID OPINION, I MAY AS WELL TELL
YOU AT ONCE--THAT I THINK HIM THE MOST DETESTABLE LITTLE BEAST I EVER
SAW--AND IF YOU IMAGINE I AM GOING TO LEAVE HIM ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU
HAVE NAMED HIM AFTER ME, YOU ARE MIGHTILY MISTAKEN."]


[Illustration: SPELLING A NEWSPAPER.]


[Illustration: _PERFECT SINCERITY; OR, THINKINGS ALOUD._

NO. II.

_Artist No. 1._ "THERE, MASTER OKER, I FLATTER MYSELF THAT WILL TAKE
THE SHINE OUT OF YOUR PRECIOUS PRODUCTION, ALTHOUGH YOU DO THINK NOBODY
CAN PAINT BUT YOURSELF."

_Artist No. 2._ "HEY! DEAR, DEAR, DEAR! THAT'S VERY BAD. BY JOVE, MY
BOY, IT'S A DREADFUL FALLING-OFF FROM LAST YEAR. IF I WERE YOU, I
SHOULD THINK TWICE BEFORE I SENT IT IN."

_Artist No. 1._ "MERE ENVY.--ILLIBERAL HUMBUG."]


[Illustration: _STUDY OF AN ELDERLY FEMALE HAILING THE LAST OMBLEBUS._]


[Illustration: _PERFECT SINCERITY; OR, THINKINGS ALOUD._

NO. III.

_Medical Man._ "STUPID OLD FOOL! WHY, THERE'S NOTHING THE MATTER WITH
HIM, EXCEPT WHAT ARISES FROM HIS OVER EATING AND DRINKING HIMSELF--ONLY
I CAN'T AFFORD TO TELL HIM SO."]


[Illustration: _THE OPERA._

"PLEASE, SIR, GIVE US YOUR TICKET, IF YOU AIN'T A-GOIN' IN AGAIN."]


[Illustration: _A HUMOROUS CUSTOMER._

_Gentleman in Cart._ "I SAY, GUV'NOR, BRING US OUT A SPOONFUL O' GIN
FOR THE OLD LADY, WILL YER?--AND I'LL TAKE A PINT O' MILD ALE--AND LOOK
HERE. I DON'T WANT IT THICK--FOR I _AIN'T HUNGRY_!"]


[Illustration: _MANLY SORROW._

_Swell on Horseback._ "WHY, CHARLEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER, OLD BOY? YOU
SEEM OUT OF SPIRITS."

_Swell on Foot._ "AH! I'VE HAD A SAD LOSS, FRED! I'VE LOST THE LITTLE
GRIDIRON OFF MY CHATELAINE!!"]


[Illustration: MELANCHOLY SCENE AT THE OPERA ON A CROWDED NIGHT.]


[Illustration: _AT GREENWICH FAIR._

"AND MELANCHOLY MARK'D HIM FOR HER OWN."]


[Illustration: _BRIBERY IS DETESTABLE! BUT POLITENESS COSTS NOTHING._

_Canvasser._ "PRAY, GENTLEMEN, DON'T THINK OF WALKING TO THE POLLING
BOOTH; I AM SURE YOUR TIME MUST BE VALUABLE, AND HERE'S A CARRIAGE
QUITE AT YOUR SERVICE."]


[Illustration: _EARLY EDUCATION._

_Harry_ (to TOM). "THERE'S ONE GREAT BORE ABOUT A WATERING-PLACE;
THEY SELL SUCH HORRID CIGARS."]


[Illustration: _MAY-DAY._

DISTRESSING POSITION OF A SENTIMENTAL GENTLEMAN WHO WAS ABOUT TO OFFER
HIS HAND AND HEART TO THE OBJECT OF HIS AFFECTIONS.]


[Illustration: _A CHEAP DAY'S HUNTING._

NO. I.

FIRST GET YOUR SEASONED "SCREW."]


[Illustration: _A CHEAP DAY'S HUNTING._

NO. II.

ABOUT FOUR MILES "DOWN THE ROAD" GET PROPERLY SPLASHED AT A
PUBLIC-HOUSE.]


[Illustration: _RATHER A DROP._

_City Gent_ (_who fancies himself a Judge of a Horse, and no end of a
Swell_). "THAT'S A NICE LITTLE TIT, CABBY, AND BROUGHT US ALONG WELL!"

_Cabby._ "YESSIR! HE IS A NICE LITTLE 'OS, _HE_ IS--BUT LOR BLESS YER!
HIS 'ART'S TOO BIG FOR HIS BODY. HE'S TOO GOOD FOR MY WORK! NOW HE'D
JEST SUIT SUCH A GENT AS YOU--TO DRIVE A LIGHT TEA-CART ABOUT TOWN FOR
ORDERS ON A WEEK-DAY, AND TAKE THE MISSUS OUT FOR THE DAY O' SUNDAYS!"]


[Illustration: _A CHEAP DAY'S HUNTING._

NO. III.

AND RETURN HOME SMOKING A CHEROOT, TO THE ADMIRATION OF THE
POPULACE.]


[Illustration: _UNDENIABLE._

_Buyer._ "IS HE WELL BROKE?"

_Seller._ "LOR, BLESS YE! LOOK AT HIS KNEES!"]


[Illustration: _THE AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS DODGE._

_Beggar._ "DID YOU GET THE LAMB'S FRY?"

_His Child._ "ALL RIGHT."

_Beggar._ "WELL, NOW, RUN HOME AND TELL YER MOTHER NOT TO BOIL
THE SPARRERGRASS TILL I COME."]


[Illustration: _REMONSTRANCE._

_London Merchant._ "WHY, WHAT IS THE USE OF YOUR BEING IN A RESPECTABLE
HOUSE OF BUSINESS IF YOU PROCEED IN THIS ABSURD, VULGAR MANNER? NOW,
TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, UNLESS YOU MEND VERY CONSIDERABLY, YOU WILL GO
ON FROM BAD TO WORSE. YOU WILL BECOME A PETTY HUCKSTER; FROM THAT YOU
WILL, IN ALL PROBABILITY, GET TO BE A MERE COMMON-COUNCILMAN; THEN AN
ALDERMAN; WHEN, AFTER A COURSE OF GLUTTONY AND TOMFOOLERY, PAINFUL TO
THINK OF, YOU WILL MAKE A RIDICULOUS TERMINATION TO YOUR CONTEMPTIBLE
CAREER BY ACTUALLY BECOMING A +LORD MAYOR+."]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION!


[Illustration: NO. I.

_THE PARLIAMENTARY FEMALE._

_Father of the Family._ "COME, DEAR; WE SO SELDOM GO OUT TOGETHER
NOW--CAN'T YOU TAKE US ALL TO THE PLAY TO-NIGHT?"

_Mistress of the House and M.P._ "HOW YOU TALK, CHARLES! DON'T YOU SEE
THAT I AM TOO BUSY. I HAVE A COMMITTEE TO-MORROW MORNING, AND I HAVE MY
SPEECH ON THE GREAT CROCHET QUESTION TO PREPARE FOR THE EVENING."]


[Illustration: NO. II.

_THE DRAWING-ROOM._]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION!


[Illustration: NO. III.

_THE DINING-ROOM._

_Lady of the House._ "NOW THEN, GIRLS! FILL YOUR GLASSES! BUMPERS!
HERE'S JUST ONE TOAST WHICH I AM SURE YOU WILL ALL DRINK WITH PLEASURE.
THE GENTLEMEN!!"]


[Illustration: NO. IV.

_NATURALLY THE FEMALE THINKS SHOPPING VERY TIRESOME._

_Superior Creature._ "FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, EDWARD, DO COME AWAY! WHEN
YOU ONCE GET INTO A SHOP, THERE'S NO GETTING YOU OUT AGAIN."]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION!


[Illustration: NO. V.

_SPORTING FOR LADIES._]


[Illustration: NO. VI.

_THE BAND AT ST. JAMES'S PALACE._]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION!


[Illustration: NO. VII.

_A "BUS" CONDUCTRESS._

_Old Gentleman._ "YOU ARE A VERY SAUCY, IMPUDENT WOMAN, AND I'LL
CERTAINLY SUMMON YOU!"

_Conductress._ "THANK YE, SIR! (_To Driver._) GO ON, SARAH; NEVER MIND
THE OLD COVE."]


[Illustration: NO. VIII.

_MARY PROTECTING THE WEAKER SEX._]


[Illustration: NO. IX.

_THE ARREST BY BAILIFFS._

"AND SERVE HER RIGHT TOO--EXTRAVAGANCE IN A MAN IS, IN SOME
DEGREE, EXCUSABLE, FOR HE KNOWS NO BETTER--BUT, IN A WOMAN, IT
IS QUITE UNPARDONABLE."]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION!


[Illustration: NO. X.

_MISS BROWN TAKES HER COUSIN OUT FISHING._

_Inferior Animal._ "OH DEAR! MISS BROWN! HERE'S A FISH TAKEN ALL MY
BAIT. DO COME AND PUT ON ANOTHER WORM!"]


[Illustration: NO. XI.

_THE WOMAN AT THE WHEEL._]


[Illustration: _THE REAL FLOWER-SHOW._]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION--BLOOMERISM.


[Illustration: NO. I.--_APROPOS OF BLOOMERISM._

_Visitor_ (_who is looking at the Print of the Bloomer Costume_).
"WELL, NOW, UPON MY WORD, I DON'T SEE ANYTHING RIDICULOUS IN IT. _I_
SHALL CERTAINLY ADOPT IT."

_Strong-minded Lady._ "FOR MY PART, I SO THOROUGHLY DESPISE
CONVENTIONALITY, THAT I HAVE ORDERED ALL MY NEW THINGS TO BE MADE IN
THAT VERY RATIONAL STYLE!"]


[Illustration: NO. II.

THE SORT OF LEG THAT LOOKS WELL IN BLOOMER PETTILOONS.]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION--BLOOMERISM.


[Illustration: NO. III.--_RESULTS OF BLOOMERISM--THE LADIES POP THE
QUESTION._

_Superior Creature._ "SAY! OH, SAY, DEAREST! WILL YOU BE MINE?" &c.,
&c.]


[Illustration: NO. IV.--_A POSER FOR A BLOOMER._

_Old Gentleman._ "BEFORE I CAN ENTERTAIN YOUR PROPOSAL, AND GIVE MY
CONSENT TO YOUR MARRYING MY SON, I MUST ASK YOU WHETHER YOU ARE IN A
POSITION--A--TO--A--KEEP HIM IN THE STYLE TO WHICH--A--I MAY SAY--HE
HAS ALWAYS BEEN ACCUSTOMED? AHEM!"]


THE LADIES OF CREATION--BLOOMERISM.


[Illustration: NO. V.--_A PROBABLE INCIDENT IF BLOOMERISM ISN'T PUT
DOWN._

_Maid._ "IF YOU PLEASE, MISS, THE DRESSMAKER HAS BROUGHT HOME YOUR
NEW--AHEM--FROCK."]


[Illustration: NO. VI.--_SOMETHING MORE OF BLOOMERISM._

(BEHIND THE COUNTER THERE IS ONE OF THE "INFERIOR ANIMALS.")]


THE LADIES OF CREATION--BLOOMERISM.


[Illustration: NO. VII.--_BLOOMERISM IN A BALL-ROOM._

_Bloomer._ "MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF DANCING THE NEXT POLKA WITH
YOU?"]


[Illustration: NO. VIII.--_BLOOMERISM AT HOME._

_Strong-minded Female._ "NOW, DO PRAY, ALFRED, PUT DOWN THAT FOOLISH
NOVEL, AND DO SOMETHING RATIONAL. GO, AND PLAY SOMETHING ON THE PIANO;
YOU NEVER PRACTISE NOW YOU'RE MARRIED."]


[Illustration: NO. IX.

_EFFICIENCY OF FEMALE POLICE IN WHAT IS VULGARLY CALLED A "JOLLY
ROW."_]


THE LADIES OF CREATION--BLOOMERISM.


[Illustration: NO. X.

_BLOOMERIANA--DREAM_]


THE LADIES OF THE CREATION--BLOOMERISM.


[Illustration: NO. XI.--_THE BARRISTER._]


[Illustration: NO. XII.--_THE HEIRESS._]


[Illustration: NO. XIII.--_THE SAILOR._]


[Illustration: NO. XIV.--_ON THE ROAD._]


[Illustration: NO. XV.--_AT THE DERBY._]


[Illustration: NO. XVI.--_IN THE PARK._]


[Illustration: _THE STEEPLE-CHASE._

_First Sporting Gent_ (_reads_). "'+CAUTION+.--NO HORSEMAN WILL, ON ANY
ACCOUNT, BE ALLOWED TO FOLLOW THE RACEHORSES OVER THE STEEPLE-CHASE
COURSE.' DEAR ME! HOW PROVOKING! I SHOULD A LIKED TO HAVE POPPED OVER
THIS BROOK!"

_Second Gent thinks they had better not interfere with any of the
Regulations._]


[Illustration: _MR. 'ARRY BELVILLE ON THE CONTINENT GENERALLY._

_'Arry Belville._ "YES! I LIKE IT EXTREMELY. I LIKE THE _Lazy Ally_
SORT OF FEELING. I LIKE SITTING AT THE DOOR OF A _Caffy_ TO SMOKE MY
CIGAR; AND ABOVE ALL _(onter noo)_ IT'S A GREAT COMFORT TO WEAR ONE'S
BEARD WITHOUT BEING LARFED AT!"]


[Illustration: _SCENE.--BUREAU OF THE CHIEFS OF THE DOUANES._

_French Official._ "YOU HAVE PASSPORT?"

_English Gent._ "NONO, MOSSOO."

_Official._ "YOUR NAME?"

_Gent._ "BELVILLE."

_Official_. "CHRISTIAN NOM?"

_Gent._ "'ARRY!"

_Official._ "PROFESSION?"

_Gent._ "+BANKER!+"]


[Illustration: _OUR FRIEND BELVILLE AIRS HIS FRENCH AT BOULOGNE, TO THE
ADMIRATION OF DOBBINS, WHO DOESN'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE._

_Belville._ "AHEM! PARDONG MOSSOO!--ESKER VOUS AVEY-A-SUCH A CHOSE AS
A-A-UNE POT--A-THAT IS A-A-UNE PO YOU KNOW-DE-DE-DE BEAR'S GREASE?
COMPRENNY?--BEAR'S GREASE?"]


[Illustration: _ON THE MOORS._

_Mr. Puff._ "_MY_ BIRD. I THINK."

_Mr. Muff._ "BELONGS TO _ME_, I FANCY" &C. &C. &C.]


[Illustration: _LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP._

"WO--MARE. HANG IT!--ANYTHING IN REASON I DON'T MIND; BUT, AS A FATHER
OF A FAMILY, I DON'T FEEL JUSTIFIED IN GOING AT SUCH A GATE AS THAT."]


[Illustration: _HOW KIND._

_Cruel Little Puth._ "OH, HARRIET DEAR--PUT ON YOUR HAT AND LET US THEE
THE STEAMBOAT COME IN. THE THEA IS THO ROUGH!--AND THE PEOPLE WILL BE
_SO_ ABTHURDLY THICK!!!"]


[Illustration: _FOLKESTONE.--ARRIVAL OF THE BOULOGNE BOAT. WIND S.W._]


[Illustration: _AN ANXIOUS MOMENT._

"DON'T MOVE THERE, WE SHALL CLEAR YOU!"]


[Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE KNOWING THE COUNTRY._

_Huntsman (to Officer going Abroad)._ "PLEASE BE SO GOOD, SIR, AS GIVE
MY RESPECTS TO MASTER HARRY."

_Officer._ "OH! BUT MY BROTHER IS IN THE WEST INDIES, AND I AM GOING TO
THE EAST."

_Huntsman_. "MAYHAP YOU'LL MEET AT T'COVER SIDE ALL THE SAME, SIR."]


[Illustration: _COOL ASSURANCE._

_Undergraduate._ "YOU DON'T OBJECT TO SMOKING, I HOPE?"

_Old Party (probably a Director)._ "YES, SIR. I OBJECT VERY MUCH
INDEED! IN FACT, I HAVE THE STRONGEST OBJECTION TO SMOKING!!!"

_Undergraduate._ "HM! HA! SOME PEOPLE HAVE."

    [_Smokes for the next fifty miles._]


[Illustration: _FASHIONS FOR FAST MEN._

_Tom._ "WHICH DO YOU LIKE BEST FOR TROUSERS, BILL, CHECKS OR STRIPES?"

_Bill._ "WELL, I THINK CHECKS ARE UNCOMMON SUPERIOR, BUT STRIPES IS
MOST NOBBY."]


[Illustration: THOSE SHOCKING CLUBS.

_Charley (who is rather addicted to betting)._"--AND TALKING OF
GOODWOOD RACES, WE'VE GOT SUCH A JOLLY SWEEP AT OUR CLUB!"

_Constance._ "A SWEEP, CHARLES!--WELL! I NEVER THOUGHT MUCH OF YOUR
CLUB FRIENDS, BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU ASSOCIATED WITH PEOPLE OF THAT
SORT!"]


[Illustration: _IN A VERY BAD WAY._

"WHY, YOU SEEM QUITE WRETCHED, FRANK!"

"WRETCHED, MY BOY! AH, YOU MAY IMAGINE HOW WRETCHED I AM, WHEN I TELL
YOU I DON'T EVEN CARE HOW MY TWOWSERS ARE MADE!"]


_THE PERILS OF A COURT PRESENTATION._


[Illustration: BEFORE PAYING HER RESPECTS AT ST. JAMES'S.]


[Illustration: AFTER PAYING HER RESPECTS AT ST. JAMES'S.]


[Illustration: _FRIGHTFUL._

_Clara._ "WELL, ROSE, DEAR, AND HOW DO YOU FEEL AFTER THE PARTY?"

_Rose._ "OH, PRETTY WELL; ONLY I HAVE HAD SUCH A HORRID DREAM! DO YOU
KNOW, I DREAMT THAT THAT GREAT STUPID CAPTAIN DRAWLER UPSET A DISH OF
TRIFLE OVER MY NEW LACE DRESS WITH THE BLUE SLIP?"]


[Illustration: _TRUTH IS GREAT._

_Unsophisticated Little Girl._ "NOW, YOU A'DONE, BILLY. IF YOU AIN'T
QUIET DIRECTLY, I'LL GIVE YER TO THIS GREAT, BIG HUGLY MAN!"

    [_Immense delight of Swell in gorgeous array._]


[Illustration: _A DELUSION._

_Dean._ "WELL, SIR?"

_Small University Man (under the impression that he has irritated the
Dean by his conspicuous moustachios)._ "I BELIEVE YOU WANTED TO SPEAK
TO ME, SIR, ABOUT--ABOUT--MY MOUSTACHIOS!"

_Dean._ "SOME MISTAKE, SIR! I DIDN'T PERCEIVE THAT YOU HAD ANY!"]


[Illustration: _MISPLACED CONFIDENCE._

_Exquisite (to the Mamma of Performer)._ "WHAT A PITY THAT GURL'S
FRIENDS DON'T TAKE HER AWAY FROM THAT PIANO. SHE'S NOT BAD LOOKING, BUT
SHE HAS GOT A VOICE LIKE A PEACOCK!!!"]


[Illustration: _A CAPITAL OFFER._

"I SAY, GRANNY! CHARLEY SUMMERS AND I ARE GOING TO TAKE LION OUT IN A
BOAT FOR A SWIM--NOW IF YOU'LL GIVE ME A SHILLING WE WILL TAKE YOU AND
THE GIRLS OUT FOR A ROW!"]


[Illustration: _SCENE ON THE ENGLISH COAST._]


[Illustration: _THE TOO FAITHFUL PORTRAIT._

_Georgina (in riding habit)._ "WELL, DEAR! I DECLARE IT'S THE VERY
IMAGE OF YOU! I NEVER!"

_Sarah Jane (who insists upon seeing the plate)._ "LIKE ME? FOR
GOODNESS' SAKE DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, GEORGINA. I THINK IT'S PERFECTLY
ABSURD! WHY, IT HAS GIVEN ME A STUPID LITTLE TURN-UP NOSE, AND A MOUTH
THAT'S ABSOLUTELY ENORMOUS!"]


[Illustration: _DREADFUL DESTITUTION._

_First._ "MY DEAR FRANK--WHAT IS THE MATTER, OLD BOY?"

_Second._ "OH! I AM DISTRESSED TO DEATH ABOUT MONEY MATTERS--I DON'T
KNOW WHAT I SHALL DO? WHY, HERE'S JENNY LIND COMING OUT ON THURSDAY,
AND I POSITIVELY HAVEN'T THE MONEY TO PAY FOR A BOX!"]


[Illustration: _A PLEDGE OF AFFECTION._

_Angelina._ "WILL MY DARLING EDWIN GRANT HIS ANGELINA A BOON?"

_Edwin._ "IS THERE ANYTHING ON EARTH HER EDWIN WOULD NOT DO FOR
HIS PET?--NAME THE BOON, OH, DEAREST--NAME IT!"

_Angelina._ "THEN, LOVE, AS WE DINE BY OURSELVES TO-MORROW, LET US,
OH! LET US HAVE ROAST PORK, WITH PLENTY OF SAGE AND ONIONS!"]


[Illustration: _VERY PARTICULAR._

_First Railway Porter._ "WHAT DOES HE SAY, BILL?"

_Second ditto._ "WHY, HE SAYS HE MUST HAVE A COMPARTMENT TO HISSELF,
BECAUSE HE CAN'T GET ON WITHOUT HIS SMOKE!"]


[Illustration: _MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT._--No. I.

_Gent._ "I SAY, MOSEY! WHY DON'T YER GO THE 'OLE 'OG, AND LET ALL YER
BEARD GROW, LIKE ME?"]


[Illustration: _OUR BOYS._

_Master Tom (to Old Lady who is very nervous about fire)._ "IT'S ALL
RIGHT, GRANMA! MY CANDLE IS OUT. I'M ONLY SMOKING MY USUAL WEED!"]


[Illustration: _USEFUL, IF NOT ORNAMENTAL._

_Master Alfred (an ingenious Boy)._ "LOOK HERE, WALTER! SEE WHAT A
JOLLY TARGET OLD AUNT BETSY'S ROUND HAT MAKES."]


[Illustration: _A BACK VIEW._

"NOW, CHARLEY! HERE'S THAT PRETTY ROUND HAT AGAIN--WE _WILL_ HAVE A
LOOK AT HER THIS TIME."]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE
MISSUSES?_--No. I.

_Servant Gal._ "OH! IF YOU PLEASE, MAM, THERE WAS ONE OTHER THINK I
SHOULD LIKE TO 'AVE SETTLED."

_Lady._ "YES?"

_Gal._ "WHERE DO YOU GO TO THE SEA-SIDE IN THE SUMMER? BECAUSE I
COULDN'T STOP AT A DULL PLACE AND WHERE THE HAIR WASN'T VERY BRACING!"]


[Illustration: _OH!_

_Lady._ "YOU DON'T MEAN TO TELL ME, MARY, THAT MY NEW CRYSTAL MILK JUG
IS BRO----!"

_Mary._ "YES, 'M, IT'S THE ORKERDEST JUG AS HEVER I SEE--IT JEST TOOK
AND TUMBLED RIGHT OFF ITS 'ANDLE!! WHICH IT'S LEFT ITS 'ANDLE IN MY
'AND, 'M."]


[Illustration: _SOCIAL STRUGGLES._]


[Illustration: _OUR "USED UP" MAN TAKES A WALK WITH HIS COUSINS IN
KENSINGTON GARDENS._]


[Illustration: _AWFUL APPEARANCE OF A "WOPPS" AT A PICNIC._]


[Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE SYSTEM._

"AW! PUMMELL, WHAT DO I OWE YOU?"

"OH! NOT MUCH, SIR. IT'S OF NO CONSEQUENCE."

"AW! NO. BUT I THINK OF TAKING THE BENEFIT OF THE ACT ABOUT CHRISTMAS;
AND AS A MAN OF SYSTEM, I AM VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT EXACT AMOUNTS."]


[Illustration: _PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL._

_Maid._ "LAW BLESS YER! THAT AIN'T MISSUS'S OWN 'AIR; IT'S A WIG!"]


[Illustration: _PUNCTUALITY IS THE SOUL OF BUSINESS._

"NO-O-O. GOOD-NIGHT, OLD CHAP! BUSINESS IS THE SOUL OF
PUNCTUALITY. I MUST GO NOW. I'VE GOT SOME BUSI-BUSINESS TO ATTEND
TO--(_hic_)--LET-TERS TO--WRITE!"]


[Illustration: _EXTREMES MEET._

"THIS IS YOUR BED, SIR!"]


[Illustration: _A LARGE BUMP OF CAUTION._

_Flora._ "OH, LET US SIT HERE, AUNT. THE BREEZE IS SO DELIGHTFUL."

_Aunt._ "YES, DOVE!--IT'S VERY NICE, I DARE SAY; BUT I WON'T COME ANY
NEARER TO THE CLIFF, FOR I AM ALWAYS AFRAID OF _SLIPPING THROUGH THOSE
RAILINGS_!"]


[Illustration: _HEART-BREAKING._

_Philanthropist._ "WHAT NOW, MY MAN?"

_Street Boy._ "THEY'VE BEEN AND GONE AND SPIKED MY PEA-SHOOTER!"]


[Illustration: _A VICTIM OF PLEASURE._

"WHAT A STUNNING MEERSCHAUM YOU'VE GOT THERE, CHARLEY!"

"YES, I THINK IT WILL BE HANDSOME BY THE TIME I'VE PROPERLY COLOURED
IT."]


[Illustration: _A YOUNG PHILOSOPHER._

_First Butcher-Boy._ "SO THEY'VE DONE AWAY WITH SMITHFEL!"

_Second Butcher-Boy._ "AH! THEY'LL SOON BE BOWLING OUT HALL OUR
OLD INSTITOOSHUNS."]


[Illustration: _A VERY GREAT MAN._

"NOW, COLLINS YOU MUST GO OUT VERY DEEP, FOR I WANT TO TAKE A
'HEADER!'"]


[Illustration: _AQUATICS._

_Flora._ "WELL, BUT, TOMMY! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ROW BOTH OF US?"

_Tommy (who fancies himself a perfect Athlete in high condition)._ "ROW
YOU! WHY, JUST YOU LOOK HERE; HERE'S A BICEPS MUSCLE FOR YOU!"]


[Illustration: _SEA-SIDE SATURDAY EVENING.--THE ARRIVAL OF THE
"HUSBANDS' BOAT."_]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. II.

_Housemaid._ "WELL, SOOSAN, I'VE MADE UP MY MIND NOT TO STOP 'ERE NO
LONGER TO WORK LIKE NEGROES AS WE DO!"

_Cook._ "NOR I, NUTHER! BUT JUST TURN THE MEAT, WILL YOU, PLEASE, THE
WHILST I FINISH MY CROCHET?"]


[Illustration: _IMPROVEMENT IN IRISH AFFAIRS._

"WHOO!--WILL ANY JINTLEMAN BE SO ENGAGIN' AS TO THREAD ON THE TAIL OF
ME REGISTHERED PALLYTOE?"]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. III.

_Old Lady._ "WHAT IS IT, BOY?"

_Boy._ "PLEASE'M--IT'S A PAIR OF WHITE SATING SHOES, AND THE LADY'S FAN
WOT'S BIN MENDED--NAME OF MISS JULIER PEARLASH!"

_Old Lady._ "MISS!!!!!?????"

_Voice from the Area._ "OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, MUM. IT'S ME!"]


[Illustration: _AN IRISH HOTEL._

_Traveller._ "HOLLO! WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU ABOUT WITH THAT GRIDIRON?"

_Chambermaid._ "TO BE SURE, IT'S YER HONOUR'S BED I'M WARMING; AND
AIN'T OUR WARMING-PAN ENGAGED FRYING SAUSAGES?"]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. IV.

_Servant Gal._ "WELL, MAM--HEVERYTHINK CONSIDERED--I'M AFRAID YOU WONT
SUIT ME. I'VE ALWAYS BIN BROUGHT UP GENTEEL; AND I COULDN'T GO NOWHERES
WHERE THERE AIN'T NO FOOTMAN KEP'."]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. V.

_Servant Gal (who has quarrelled with her bread-and-butter)._ "IF YOU
PLEASE, MA'AM, I FIND THERE'S COLD MEAT FOR DINNER IN THE KITCHEN, DID
YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT IT?"

_Lady._ "OF COURSE I EXPECT YOU TO EAT IT, AND AN EXCELLENT DINNER,
TOO."

_Servant._ "OH, THEN, IF YOU PLEASE'M, I SHOULD LIKE TO LEAVE THIS DAY
WEEK."

    [_Exit idiot._]


[Illustration: _AT ASCOT._

THE ONLY "PARTIES" WHO ENJOYED THE WET DAY.]


[Illustration: _MAKING THE BEST OF IT._

Enthusiast. "THIS IS REALLY ADMIRABLE!--I GET MY SWIM--AND A SHOWER
BATH IN!"]


[Illustration: _SMALL BY DEGREES, AND BEAUTIFULLY LESS._

_Shopman._ "OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR--BUT THE LADY LEFT HER PARASOL
ON THE COUNTER!"

_Swell._ "HAW! YA--AS--NO! THAT IS, IT'S MY UMBRELLAW. THANKS! BY JOVE!
HAW!"]


[Illustration: _A DRAWING-ROOM ENTERTAINMENT._]


[Illustration: _THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT._--No. II.

"MY EYE, TOM, WHAT A 'ORRID BORE IT MUST BE FOR THE HORFICER
SWELLS, NOW WE'VE TOOK TO WEARIN' OUR MOOSTARCHERS. THE GALS CAN'T
TELL US FROM THEM, NOW!"]


[Illustration: _BATTLEDORE AND SHUTTLECOCK._

THE POPULAR AND AMUSING GAME AS AT PRESENT PLAYED IN THE PRINCIPAL
THOROUGHFARES.]


[Illustration: _A PLEASING DELUSION._

_Smith._ "HOLLO! POSTER, AIN'T YOU PRECIOUS DRUNK, RATHER?"

_Post Boy._ "DRUNK! NOT A BIT OF IT."]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. VI.

_Lady._ "WISH TO LEAVE? WHY, I THOUGHT, THOMPSON, YOU WERE VERY
COMFORTABLE WITH ME!"

_Thompson (who is extremely refined)._ "HOH YES, MAM! I DON'T FIND NO
FAULT WITH YOU, MAM--NOR YET WITH MASTER--BUT THE TRUTH HIS, MAM--THE
HOTHER SERVANTS IS SO 'ORRID VULGAR, AND HIGNORANT, AND SPEAKS SO
HUNGRAMMATICAL, THAT I REELY CANNOT LIVE IN THE SAME 'OUSE WITH
'EM--AND I SHOULD LIKE TO GO THIS DAY MONTH, IF SO BE HAS IT WON'T
ILLCONVENIENCE YOU!"]


[Illustration: _THE SEA-SIDE HAT._

WHAT IS ENOUGH FOR ONE IS ENOUGH FOR TWO.]


[Illustration: _HOW TO ESCAPE FROM A SCOLDING WIFE._

_Patient (inhaling Ether)._ "THIS IS REALLY QUITE DELIGHTFUL--A MOST
BEAUTIFUL DREAM."]


[Illustration: _A BIT OF HIS MIND._

_Edward (to his Military Cousin)._ "NO! I SHAN'T! I SHAN'T GO AND SHOOT
BLACKBIRDS; AND I TELL YOU WHAT, MASTER CHARLEY, YOU DRAGOON SWELLS
WON'T HAVE QUITE SUCH A PULL UPON US CIVILIANS NOW, FOR WE ARE ALL
GOING TO GROW BEARDS AND MOUSTACHIOS."]


[Illustration: _HOW TO GET A CONNECTION._

_Shopman (to Ancient Party)._ "YES, MISS--THANK YOU, MISS--IS THERE ANY
OTHER ARTICLE, MISS?--CAN WE SEND IT FOR YOU, MISS?"

    [_Old Lady thinks it SUCH a nice shop, and SUCH well-behaved
    young men._]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM._--No. VII.

_'Ousemaid (from Town)._ "IS HANN JENKINS AT HOME?"

_Suburban Cook._ "NO, SHE HAS JUST GONE TO HER MILLINER'S!"

_'Ousemaid._ "THEN GIVE HER MY CARD, PLEASE, AND SAY, I 'OPE SHE GOT
HOME SAFELY FROM THE BALL."]


[Illustration: _AN ALARMING MESSAGE._

"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MOTHER'S TOOK THE LOTION, AND RUBBED HER LEG WITH
THE MIXTURE!"]


[Illustration: _A MISTAKEN IMPRESSION._

_First Young Lady._ "OH, DEAR. HOW DULL THE OLD TOWN IS, NOW ALL THE
OFFICERS ARE GONE ABROAD!"

_Second ditto (a trifle older)._ "H'M--FOR MY PART, I'M VERY GLAD
THEY'RE GONE, FOR THEY WERE ALWAYS FOLLOWING ONE ABOUT!"]


[Illustration: _TOUCHING SIMPLICITY._

_Little Wife (eagerly opening the door for dear Edwin)._ "OH, SEE,
DEAR, WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU--I'M SURE UNCLE HAS GOT YOU AN APPOINTMENT
UNDER GOVERNMENT AT LAST--FOR HERE'S A LETTER MARKED IMMEDIATE, AND
'_ON HER MAJESTY'S SERVICE!_'"

    [_Poor little soul! what does she know about Rates and Taxes?_]


[Illustration: _AN AGED JUVENILE._

_Miss Flora Macfungus._ "I DARESAY YOU THINK ME A VERY ODD GIRL; AND,
INDEED, MAMMA SAYS I'M A GIDDY, THOUGHTLESS CREATURE, AND"--

_Partner._ "OH, HERE'S A VACANT SEAT, I THINK."]


[Illustration: _JUDICIOUS!_

"STAND ON MY HEAD, MARM, FOR A PENNY."

"NO, LITTLE BOY--THERE IS A PENNY FOR KEEPING RIGHT END UPWARDS."]


[Illustration: _GOOD REASONS._

_Railway Official._ "YOU'D BETTER NOT SMOKE, SIR!"

_Traveller._ "THAT'S WHAT MY FRIENDS SAY."

_Railway Official._ "BUT YOU _MUSN'T_ SMOKE, SIR!"

_Traveller._ "SO MY DOCTOR TELLS ME."

_Railway Official (indignantly)._ "BUT YOU _SHAN'T_ SMOKE, SIR!"

_Traveller._ "AH! JUST WHAT MY WIFE SAYS."]


[Illustration: _POULTRY FANCIES._

NAUGHTY LITTLE BOY A "COCHIN" IT FOR THROWING STONES AT THE FOWLS.]


[Illustration: _INDISCRETION._

_Lydia._ "DON'T, HORACE.--LOOK AT OLD TOMKINS SITTING AT HIS WINDOW."]


[Illustration: _QUITE A NOVELTY._

_Amiable Experimentalist._ "MAKES A DELICIOUS SIDE-DISH, DOESN'T
IT? BUT IT IS NOT THE COMMON MUSHROOM; IT'S A LARGE FUNGUS CALLED
THE AGARICUS PROCERUS. IT GROWS SOLITARY IN HEDGE-ROWS, IS CALLED
COLUBRINUS, FROM THE SNAKE-LIKE MARKINGS ON ITS STEM. THE PILEUS
IS COVERED WITH SCALES, WHICH ARE FORMED BY THE BREAKING-UP OF THE
MUD-COLOURED EPIDERMIS. AND----

    [_General panic takes place._]


[Illustration: _CURIOUS MODE OF CONDUCTING A RETAIL ESTABLISHMENT._]


[Illustration: _A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES._

_Old Gentleman._ "WHY, FREDERICK, WHAT A DISGRACEFUL STATE YOU'RE IN,
SIR!--WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

_Frederick._ "COULDN'T--GET A SEAT--SO--I'VE BEEN--TO--TH'--CLUB."]


[Illustration: _AQUATICS._

_Small Boy._ "NOW, THEN! ALL TOGETHER!"]


[Illustration: _OVERTAKEN BY THE TIDE.--MARGATE._]


[Illustration: _EFFECTS OF SALT WATER, AS OBSERVED AT THE REGATTA BALL._

_-- Weatherspoon, Esq. (of the Oriana, R.V.S.)._ "I SAY, TOM, WHAT'S
THAT LITTLE CRAFT WITH THE BLACK VELVET FLYING AT THE FORE, CLOSE UNDER
THE LEE-SCUPPERS OF THE MAN-OF-WAR?"

_Honourable Binnacle (of the Matilda, R.V.Y.C.)._ "WHY, FROM HER FORE
AND AFT RIG, AND THE CUT OF HER MAINSAIL, I SHOULD SAY SHE'S DOWN FROM
THE PORT OF LONDON; BUT I'LL SIGNAL THE COMMODORE TO COME AND INTRODUCE
US."]


[Illustration: _TERRIBLE ACCIDENT._

"WE KNEW HOW IT WOULD BE--GIRLS HOLDING THOSE GREAT ROUND HATS OVER
THEIR EYES, SO THAT THEY CAN'T SEE WHERE THEY ARE GOING.--WHY HERE'S
FLORA PLUMLEY RUN RIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF THAT YOUNG HORACE SPANKER, WHO
HASN'T A PENNY."_--Extract from our Aunt's Letter._]


[Illustration: _OFF THE FORELAND._

_Old Lady (loquitur)._ "NOW, MY GOOD MAN, I HOPE YOU ARE SURE IT WOULD
REALLY DO ME GOOD, BECAUSE I CANNOT TOUCH IT BUT AS MEDICINE!"]


[Illustration: _THE NEW ARRIVAL._]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. I.--_CROWDED STATE OF LODGING-HOUSES._

_Lodging-house Keeper._ "ON'Y THIS ROOM TO LET, MEM. A FOUR POST--A
TENT--AND A VERY COMFORTABLE DOUBLE-BEDDED CHEST OF DRAWERS FOR THE
YOUNG GENTLEMEN."]


[Illustration: No. II.--_YOUNG ENGLAND._

"DOOCED GRATIFYING, AIN'T IT CHARLES, TO SEE SA MUCH IN-DASTRY?"]


[Illustration: No. III.--_PUZZLED VISITORS._

"MON DIEU, ALPHONSE! REGARDEZ-DONC. COMMENT APPELLE-T-ON CETTE MACHINE
LÀ?"

"TIENS, C'EST DRÔLE--MAIS JE NE SAIS PAS."]


[Illustration: No. IV.--_WONDERFUL OBJECTS._

A GENTLEMAN FROM THE COUNTRY MISTAKES THE CRYSTAL SENT BY THE DUKE OF
DEVONSHIRE FOR THE KOH-I-NOOR DIAMOND.]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851


[Illustration: No. V.--_THEATRICAL DEPRESSION._

_Manager._ "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--A--I MEAN RESPECTED INDIVIDUAL,--IN
CONSEQUENCE OF THE GREAT ATTRACTION OF THE EXHIBITION OF CRYSTAL
PALACE, I BEG TO ANNOUNCE TO YOU THAT THIS RIDICULOUS FARCE OF OPENING
MY THEATRE WILL NOT BE REPEATED; AND YOUR ORDER WILL BE RETURNED TO YOU
ON APPLICATION AT THE BOX-OFFICE."]


[Illustration: No. VI.--_A STAGGERER FOR AN EXCURSIONIST._

_Foreigner (with profuse gesticulation)._ "PARDON, M'SIEU!
FAUT-IL ALLER A DROITE, A GAUCHE, OU EN FACE, POUR ME RENDRE À
PEEK-A-PEEK-A-DELEE?" (_Piccadilly._)]


[Illustration: No. VII.--_HOTELS ARE QUITE FULL._

_Waterman._ "VAT TIME WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR HOT WATER, SIR?"]


[Illustration: No. VIII.--_AWFUL RESULT OF GIVING A SEASON TICKET TO
YOUR WIFE._

_Mary._ "PLEASE, SIR, COOK'S GONE OUT FOR A HOLIDAY; AND MISSUS DIDN'T
SAY NOTHING ABOUT NO DINNER, SIR. MISSUS WENT EARLY TO THE EXHIBITION
WITH SOME LUNCH IN A BASKET, AND SAID SHE SHOULDN'T BE HOME UNTIL TEA
TIME."]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. IX.--_THE LOOKING-GLASS DEPARTMENT._]


[Illustration: No. X.--_A DELICATE ATTENTION._

AN OLD GENTLEMAN, ANXIOUS THAT HIS WIFE SHOULD POSSESS SOME TRIFLE FROM
THE GREAT EXHIBITION, PURCHASES (AMONGST OTHER THINGS) THE STUFFED
ELEPHANT, AND THE MODEL OF THE DODO.]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. XI.--_NEW FASHIONS._

_Hatter._ "YOU COULDN'T HAVE A MORE BECOMING HAT, SIR--AND THEY'LL BE A
GREAT DEAL WORN AT THE OPENING OF THE EXHIBITION."]


[Illustration: No. XII.--_SINCERE GRIEF AT THE DESTRUCTION OF THE
CRYSTAL PALACE._

_Omnibus Man._ "OH, WHAT A HORRID SHAME TO PULL DOWN SUCH A
B-B-B-BE-AUTIFUL B-B-B-UILDING!"]


[Illustration: No. XIII.--_THE LADIES AND THE POLICE--THE BATTLE OF THE
CRYSTAL PALACE._]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. XIV.--_AN INTERESTING COUPLE._

THEY CAN'T THINK WHERE MAMMA CAN HAVE GOT TO--THEY HAVE BEEN LOOKING
FOR HER EVERYWHERE.

    [_N.B. The most remote Refreshment-room selected._]


[Illustration: No. XV.--_REFRESHMENT ROOM._

_Visitor._ "PINT O' BEER, MISS, PLEASE."

_Miss._ "DON'T KEEP IT. YOU CAN HAVE A STRAWBERRY ICE AND A WAFER."]


[Illustration: No. XVI.--_THE NORTH-AMERICAN LODGERS IN 1851._]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. XVII.

_PERFIDIOUS ALBION LETS HIS DRAWING-ROOM FLOOR TO A DISTINGUISHED
FOREIGNER.--THE RESULT._]


[Illustration: No. XVIII.--_DINING-ROOMS._

_Waiter (to Chinaman)._ "VERY NICE BIRD'S-NEST SOUP, SIR?--YES,
SIR!--RAT PIE, SIR, JUST UP--YES, SIR!--AND A NICE LITTLE DOG TO
FOLLER--YES, SIR!"]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. XIX.

HERE YOU HAVE A REPRESENTATION OF THAT NOBLE CHARACTER, THE
BRITISH MERCHANT, TAKING LEAVE OF HIS SENSES--AND HIS BUSINESS--TO
LOUNGE ABOUT THE CRYSTAL PALACE.]


[Illustration: No. XX.

THE TRADESMAN AT THE WEST END IS OBLIGED TO GIVE UP HIS TRADE,
AND BREED POULTRY.]


[Illustration: No. XXI.

_BRITANNIA HAS THE INDUSTRY OF ALL-THE-WORLD AND HIS WIFE, TO SPEND
A FEW MONTHS WITH HER._]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. XXII.

_THE CRUSH ROOM AT THE OPERA.--"MR. CHAWBACON'S CART STOPS THE WAY!_"]


[Illustration: No. XXIII.

_MR. CHAWBACON "COMING DOWN."_]


[Illustration: No. XXIV.

_FANCY PORTRAIT OF THE GENTLEMAN WHO HAS BEEN HONOURABLY
=MENTIONED= BY PRINCE ALBERT!_

"HONOURABLY MENTIONED, INDEED! IS THAT ALL? SCANDALOUS!"]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.--1851.


[Illustration: No. XXV.

_DINNER-TIME AT THE CRYSTAL PALACE._]


MEMORIALS OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION--1851.


[Illustration: No. XXV.

_THE GREAT DERBY RACE FOR EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE._]


[Illustration: _FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS._

_Assiduous Young Curate._ "WELL, THEN, I DO HOPE I SHALL HAVE THE
PLEASURE OF SEEING BOTH OF YOU NEXT SUNDAY!"

_Miner._ "OI, THEE MAY'ST COAM IF 'E WULL. WE FOIGHT ON THE CROFT, AND
OLD JOE TANNER BRINGS TH' BEER."]


[Illustration: _WHAT WILL HE DO WITH THEM?_

_Youthful Costermonger._ "NOW THEN, GUV'NER, 'AVE THE LAST ROPE FOR
A PENNY!"]


[Illustration: _RAILWAY MISERIES._

_Porter._ "IS THIS YOUR LUGGAGE, SIR?"

_Piscator._ "CONFOUND IT, NO! WE WANT SOME FISHING-RODS, A CAN OF
LIVE-BAIT, AND A HAMPER."

_Porter._ "OH--DO YOU, SIR? WHY, THEY'RE GONE ON TO BRISTOL."]


[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE
MISSUSES?_--No. VIII.

_Cook._ "WELL, TO BE SURE, MUM! LAST PLACE I WERE IN, MISSIS ALWAYS
KNOCKED AT THE DOOR AFORE SHE COME INTO MY KITCHEN!!"]


[Illustration: _THE ST. BERNARD MASTIFF. A HAPPY DOG--RATHER!_]


[Illustration: _PRUDENCE AND IMPRUDENCE._

_Old Gentleman._ "A VERY NASTY JUMP, THAT! I SHALL GO ROUND BY
SHUFFLER'S BOTTOM."

_Juvenile._ "COME ALONG, OLD MAN! FOLLOW ME, AND I'LL SHOW YOU ALL THE
SPORT."

    [_Exit_ YOUNG HOPEFUL _over the palings_.]


[Illustration: _COUNTRY RACES._

GENTLEMEN RIDERS, WHO ARE SO LIKE PROFESSIONAL JOCKS, YOU CAN HARDLY
TELL THE DIFFERENCE!]


[Illustration: _FRIENDLY, BUT VERY UNPLEASANT._

_Lively Party_ (_charging_ ELDERLY GENTLEMAN _with his umbrella_).
"HULLO, JONES!"

    [_Disgust of_ ELDERLY PARTY, _whose name is_ SMITH.]


[Illustration: _AN EASY FORECAST._

_Gipsy._ "HAVE YOUR FORTUNE TOLD, MY PRETTY GENTLEMAN?"

_Pretty Gent._ "OH! LAWK! DON'T MENTION IT!"]


[Illustration: _GOING OUT ARRESTING._

"VELL, AARON, MY TEAR, 'AVE YER 'AD ANY SPORT?"

"PRETTY VELL. I'VE BAGGED FOUR ALLOTTEES AND TWO PROVISIONALS."]


[Illustration: _A GREAT MISFORTUNE._

_First Juvenile (in Cab)._ "WELL, CHARLEY, HAVE YOU HAD IT OUT WITH THE
OLD BOY?"

_Second Juvenile._ "YA--AS; AND--AW--WHAT DO YOU THINK THE UNDUTIFUL
OLD GOVERNOR SA--AYS?"

_First Juvenile._ "HAVEN'T THE LEAST ID--EAW."

_Second Juvenile._ "WHY, HE SA--AYS I MUST DO SOMETHING TO GET MY OWN
LIVING!"

_First Juvenile._ "OH LAW! WHAT A HORRID BAW!"]


[Illustration: _WHERE IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS._

_Engineer._ "DON'T BE ALARMED, MA'AM, IT'S ONLY A DUMPY LEVELLER."

_Old Lady._ "LAW! DEAR NOW! WELL, I'M SURE I THOUGHT IT WAS A
BLUNDERBUST. BUT DON'T FIRE IT OFF, YOUNG MAN, TILL I'M GOT BY, FOR I
WAS ALWAYS TERRIBLE FEARED OF GUNS."]


[Illustration: _MARCH OF LUXURY._

_Customer._ "HI! JAMES."

_Potboy._ "NOW THEN, WHAT IS IT?"

_Customer._ "JUST POP MY ARF-AN-ARF IN THE HICE FOR A MINIT. THAT'S A
GOOD LAD."]


[Illustration: _COMPLIMENTS._

_First Cabby (who is run up against)._ "NOW, THEN! 'VHERE DID YOU PICK
UP THAT OLD STRAWBERRY POTTLE YOU CALLS A CAB?"

_Second Cabby (who retorts)._ "SAME PLACE WHERE YER FOUND THAT BIT OF
OLD RAG YER CALLS A 'ORSE."]


[Illustration: _VISIT TO THE ANTEDILUVIAN REPTILES AT SYDENHAM--MASTER
TOM STRONGLY OBJECTS TO HAVING HIS MIND IMPROVED._]


[Illustration: _A HORRIBLE IDEA._

_First Languid Swell._ "GOOD GWACIOUS, ALFRED! ARE YOU ILL?"

_Second ditto, ditto (gasping)._ "ILL! AW! YES! NO! I SHALL BE
ALL RIGHT DIRECTLY. BUT--I--CONFESS--THE--SIGHT OF THAT FEMALE'S
UMBRELLAW--COMPLETELY--FLAWED ME--MY DEAR CHARLES--CONCEIVE BEING
OBLIGED TO CARRY--BUT NO, THE THOUGHT IS--TOO HORRIBLE!"

    [_They shudder, and walk on._]


[Illustration: _FINE BUSINESS, INDEED! THE WRETCH!_

_Master of the House._ "OH! MARY! WHAT IS THERE FOR DINNER TO-DAY?"

_Mary._ "I THINK, SIR, IT'S COLD MUTTON, SIR."

_Master of the House._ "H'M!--OH! TELL YOUR MISTRESS, WHEN SHE COMES
IN, THAT I MAY POSSIBLY BE DETAINED IN THE CITY ON BUSINESS, AND SHE IS
ON NO ACCOUNT TO WAIT DINNER FOR ME."]


[Illustration: _THE SEA-SIDE HAT--A HINT TO MATERFAMILIAS._]


[Illustration: _A FRESH MORNING._]


[Illustration: _IMPUDENCE._

_Horse Guard._ "NOW, YOU BOY! YOU MUSN'T HANG ABOUT HERE."

_Boy._ "OH! YES, MR. HANGABOUT. I SUPPOSE I MAY SET MY WATCH BY YOUR
CLOCK, AS WELL AS ANY OTHER GENT."]


[Illustration: _GORGEOUS SPECTACLE._

_Sarah Jane._ "OH, BETSY, COME 'ERE, AND BRING HISABELLER! WE CAN SEE
THE 'OOFS OF THE 'ORSES!!"]


[Illustration: _NATIVE POLITENESS._

_Boy (to be-witch-ing Old Lady of Fashion)._ "WAS YOU A LOOKING FOR A
BROOM, MARM?"]


[Illustration: "_YOUTH AT THE PROW, AND PLEASURE AT THE HELM._"

"THE HAPPY PAIR THEN STARTED FOR THE CONTINENT, VIA FOLKESTONE, TO
SPEND THE HONEYMOON."]


[Illustration: _VERY ACCOMMODATING._

_Cabman._ "WANT A CAB, SIR? TAKE YER ANYVERE, ANY DISTANCE, ANY PRICE,
AND WHEN YER PLEASE. TROT YER DOWN TO VITECHAPEL OR 'ACKNEY, OR SPIN
YER ALONG LIKE ONE O'CLOCK TO HEGHAM, STAINES, OR WINDSOR."]


[Illustration: _PROBABLE RESULT OF THE COCHIN CHINA FOWL MANIA._]


[Illustration: _TOO POPULAR BY HALF._

_Boy (singing)._ "LOVER-LY LUCY NEAL, OH LOVER-LY LUCY NEAL, HIF I 'AD
YOU BY MY SI-I-HIDE, 'OW 'APPY I SHOULD FEEL!"]


[Illustration: _TASTE IN THE DRAWING-ROOM.--VILLIKINS AND HIS DINAH._

_Young Lady (who ought to know better)._ "NOW, WILLIAM, YOU ARE NOT LOW
ENOUGH YET. BEGIN AGAIN AT 'HE TOOK THE COLD PIZEN.'"]


[Illustration: _THE BATTLE OF THE PIANOS._]


[Illustration: _FAMILIARITY._

"NOW, THEN, THOMAS, TELL YOUR OLD MAN TO PULL ON A PEG, AND LET ME GET
UP TO MY PAWNBROKER'S!"]


[Illustration: _APPROPRIATE._

_First Citizen._ "I SAY, BILL--I WONDER WHAT HE CALLS HISSELF?"

_Second Ditto._ "BLOWED IF I KNOW!--BUT I CALLS HIM A BLOATED
HARISTOCRAT."]


[Illustration: _MIGHT VERSUS RIGHT._

_Navigator._ "WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?"

_Policeman._ "WHY, I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE STATION HOUSE, IF YOU DON'T
MOVE ON."

_Navigator._ "_YOU_ TAKE ME TO THE STATION-HOUSE? TEN ON YOU MIGHT!"]


[Illustration: _A HANSOM OFFER._

_Cabman (condescendingly)._ "HAMPSTEAD! LET'S SEE--THE FARE'S ABOUT
NINE BOB, AS NEAR AS MAY BE; BUT, AS I WANT A DRIVE IN THE FRESH HAIR
MYSELF, SUPPOSE WE SAY THREE 'ARF CROWNS?"]


[Illustration: _POULTRY FANCIES.--THE PETS._

_Old Lady._ "WELL, HE _HAS_ GROWN; AND, REALLY, I THINK HE MIGHT LEAVE
OFF THOSE FROCKS, AND HAVE A SUIT OF CLOTHES LIKE HIS BROTHERS."]


[Illustration: _TRAVELLERS' REQUISITES._

_Railway Porter._ "ANY LUGGAGE, SIR?"

_Traveller._ "YAS--CARPET-BAG AND CIGAR-CASE."]


[Illustration: _MOST DISTRESSING._

POOR STUBBS!--JUST AS HE MEETS THOSE NICE GIRLS HE ADMIRED SO AT M.'S
PARTY, AN ENORMOUS BLACK SETTLES ON HIS NOSE. HE LOSES ALL PRESENCE OF
MIND.]


[Illustration: _HOW TO FLATTER A GENT._

_Mr. Noses._ "GOT ANY OLD CLOTHES, SIR? (_whispers_) ANY LEFT-OFF
UNIFORMS, CAPTAIN?"]


[Illustration: _EDUCATIONAL MOVEMENT._

_Man of Refinement._ "NOW DON'T, MY GOOD MAN--PRAY DON'T!--I KNOW WHAT
YOU ARE GOING TO SAY. YOU ARE GOING TO SAY 'YA!--HA!--SPARRERGRASS.' DO
ALLOW ME TO PERSUADE YOU TO CALL IT ASPARAGUS--AND HERE IS SIXPENCE FOR
YOU."]


[Illustration: _AN EXCITED NIMROD_,

HAVING BEEN THROWN OUT, IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HE HAS COME UP
WITH SOME OF THE TAIL HOUNDS--"HUIC FOR-R-A-D-E--FOR-R-A-A-D THEN!"

    [_Great demonstration of disgust on the part of Old Gentleman
    out shooting_.]


[Illustration: _FLY-FISHING._

MR. BUNGLE ALWAYS MAKES HIS FLIES ON THE BANK OF THE STREAM. HERE IS
ONE OF HIS MOST SUCCESSFUL EFFORTS.]


[Illustration: _"ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE," &c._

_Young Lady (whose birthday it is)._ "OH, YES! I HAVE HAD A GREAT
NUMBER OF NICE PRESENTS; BUT I WONDER WHO SENT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL
BOUQUET?"

_Handsome Party (with moustaches, presence of mind, and great
expression of eye)._ "AND CAN'T YOU GUESS?" (_Sighs deeply._)

    [_N.B. Poor_ BINKS, _who was at all the trouble and expense of
    getting the said bouquet from Covent Garden, is supposed to be
    watching the effect of his gift with some anxiety._]


[Illustration: _PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING._

THE INTELLIGENT READER IS REQUESTED TO IMAGINE THAT THE GATES IN THE
ABOVE CARTOON HAVE JUST BEEN THOROUGHLY CLEANED, AND FRESH PAINTED.
ON HIS RETURN FROM THE CITY, MR. BRIGGS FINDS THAT RUDE BOYS (TOTALLY
REGARDLESS OF HIS FEELINGS) HAVE BEEN FARTHER DECORATING THEM.]


[Illustration: _WHAT'S THE MATTER?_

MAN IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TAKEN THE WRONG TURNING--THAT'S ALL!]


[Illustration: _A ROUGH COUNTRY._

_Boy._ "NOA, SIR! THERE AIN'T NO OTHER GATE OUT O' THIS VIELD, YOU MUST
FOLLER THAT GENTLEMAN ON THE GRAY HORSE."

_Fox Hunter._ "WHAT, THAT GENT? OH! THANK YER!"]


[Illustration: _SUGGESTIVE OF A PICTURESQUE FIGURE._

_Stout Old Gentleman._ "A SHOWER-BATH MAKE YOUR HAIR IN A MESS! NOT A
BIT OF IT, IF YOU WEAR AN OIL-SKIN CAP LIKE THIS, AS I DO."]


[Illustration: _THE RETURN FROM A MASQUERADE._]


[Illustration: _DOUBTFUL._

_Boy._ "COME IN, SIR! YOU'VE NO CALL TO BE AFRAID! I'VE GOT HIM QUITE
TIGHT."]


[Illustration: _A CAUSE FOR REPROOF._

_Lady (severely)._ "JANET, I MUST DESIRE YOU TO GO AT ONCE AND DRESS
YOUR HAIR IN A BECOMING MANNER, AND NOT TO IMITATE ME SO ABSURDLY."]


[Illustration: _AWKWARD CONSEQUENCES OF REMOVING THE SOLDIERS FROM
KNIGHTSBRIDGE._

_Housemaid._ "IF YOU PLEASE 'M, ME, AND COOK, AND MARY, WISHES TO
LEAVE, THIS DAY MONTH, MA'AM."]


[Illustration: _REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES._

_Mary._ "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, IF YOU'VE DONE WITH THE INK, WILL YOU LET
WILLIAM HAVE IT TO CLEAN YOUR BOOTS? BECAUSE IT'S ALL THE BLACKING
WE'VE GOT IN THE HOUSE."]


[Illustration: _THE CONSTITUTIONAL WALK._

_Lady._ "DEAR, DEAR, IT'S COMING ON TO RAIN! RUN, JAMES! QUICK, AND
FETCH AN UMBRELLA, AND TWO PARASOLS. I'M AFRAID MY POOR DEAR COCHINS
WILL GET THE RHEUMATISM."]


[Illustration: _THE DOCILE HUSBAND._]


[Illustration: _A MAN OF OPINION._

_M.P._ "DID YOU SEE THIS ADMIRABLE SUGGESTION IN THE PAPER, TO PULL
DOWN THE TEMPLE BAR?"

_Swell._ "PULL DOWN THE TEMPLE BAR! A MOST EARNESTLY HOPE NOT--WHY,
GOOD GWACIOUS! IT'S THE PWINCIPAL BARWIER BETWEEN US AND THE HORWID
CITY!"]


[Illustration: _JEALOUSY._

_Chorus (of Nice Young Ladies)._ "OH! OF ALL AND OF ALL I NEVER! ISN'T
IT THE DARLINGIST, SWEETEST, PRETTIEST, LITTLE DEAR DARLING DARLING!
OH! DID YOU EVER!!"

_Solo (by horrid plain-spoken Boy)._ "H'M! I THINK IT'S A NASTY, UGLY
LITTLE BEAST, FOR ALL THE WORLD LIKE A CAT OR A MONKEY."

    [_Sensation._]


[Illustration: _A NICE TEAM._]


[Illustration: _A BRILLIANT IDEA._

_Matilda._ "OH, LOOK YE HERE, TOMMY! S'POSE WE PLAY AT YOUR BEING
THE BIG FOOTMAN, AND ME AND LIZZERBUTH'LL BE THE FINE LADIES IN THE
CARRIDGE!"]


[Illustration: _AN EXPERIENCED VETERAN._

_Managing Mamma._ "MY GOODNESS, ELLEN, HOW WRETCHEDLY PALE YOU LOOK!
FOR GOODNESS' SAKE BITE YOUR LIPS AND RUB YOUR CHEEKS."]


[Illustration: _EXTREME DELICACY._

_Exquisite in Cab._ "AW--BE KIND ENOUGH, IF YOU PLEASE, TO
FETCH--AW--AN--AW--UMBRELLAW, AND HOLD IT OV-AW ME WHILE I--AW--GET
OUT."]


[Illustration: _THE WELLINGTON STATUE._

AWFUL APPARITION TO A GENTLEMAN WHILST SHAVING, IN THE EDGEWARE ROAD.]


[Illustration: _THE POULTRY MANIA._

_Miss ----._ "GOOD GRACIOUS, EMILY. WHAT HORRID FRIGHTS!"

_Emily._ "FRIGHTS? MY DEAR? WHY THEY ARE LOVELY COCHIN CHINA FOWLS, AND
WORTH--OH! EVER SO MUCH."]


[Illustration: _COMPLIMENTARY._

_Bus Driver._ "NOW THEN, OUT OF THE WAY, YOU TWO!"]


[Illustration: _AN INQUIRING MIND._

_Omnibus Driver._ "REELY NOW! AND SO THE 'LECTRIC FLUID TAKES A MESSAGE
BETWEEN DOVER AND CALAIS. (_Inquiringly._) PRAY, SIR, WOT'S IT LIKE? IS
IT ANYTHING LIKE BEER, FOR EXAMPLE?"]


[Illustration: _SOMETIMES YOU "PICK UP" HUNTERS FOR NEXT TO NOTHING._

_Dealer._ "THERE NOW! YOU WANT A HUNTER. THERE HE IS. HE'S QUIET,
WELL-BRED, AND LAW! WITH YOUR WEIGHT, HE'S UP TO ANY HOUNDS, AND AN
_UNCOMMON_ CLEVER FENCER!"

_Sporting Gent._ "OH! COME NOW! THAT _WON'T_ DO. I'VE HEARD OF A 'ORSE
DANCING; BUT I'M NOT SO JOLLY GREEN AS TO BELIEVE A 'ORSE CAN FENCE,
YOU KNOW!"]


[Illustration: _A LUCID EXPLANATION._

_Passenger._ "SIXPENCE! WHY, IT'S MARKED UP THREEPENCE!"

_Conductor._ "YES, SIR. THREPPUNSE WHEN YOU DON'T GET IN BETWEEN
CHARING CROSS AND THE BANK, OR FROM TUESDAYS TO MILE END DOWN TO
THE GATE BY UNGERFOD, OR EDGER ROAD TO BLACK LION LANE OR RATHBONE
PLACE AND BLACKWALL RAILWAY--OR ELSE YOU MUST GET OUT AT ST. PAUL'S
CHURCHYARD, OR YOU CAN GO TO PIMLICO ALL THE WAY IF YOU LIKE--BEYOND
THAT DISTANCE--IT'S SIXPUNSE!"]


[Illustration: _PERFECT SINCERITY, OR THINKINGS ALOUD._--No. IV.

_Genius._ "BY THE WAY, DID YOU GLANCE OVER THAT ARTICLE OF MINE ON 'THE
INTELLECT OF WOMAN, AND HER SOCIAL POSITION?' I DON'T CARE TWOPENCE
ABOUT YOUR OPINION; ONLY IF YOU CAN SAY SOMETHING FAVOURABLE OF COURSE
I SHALL BE PLEASED."

_Common Sense._ "WHY, I TRIED IT, BUT UPON MY LIFE I FOUND IT SUCH
CONTEMPTIBLE RUBBISH, THAT I COULDN'T GET ON: AND, TO TELL YOU THE
TRUTH, I THINK THAT A SNUG LITTLE THING IN THE CHEESEMONGERING LINE
WOULD BE MORE IN YOUR WAY THAN LITERATURE."

_Genius._ "AH! YOU MUST BE A FOOL!"]


[Illustration: _THE AGONY COLUMN._

"I WISH, MISTER, YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD AS TO STOP THE PRESS AND PUT
THIS IN A GOOD PLACE (_reads_): '_Hemily, Don't delay, but return
to yer broken-arted Adolphus, or there's no knowing what may be the
consequence!!!_'"]


[Illustration: _THE INFLUENZA._

"THIS IS REALLY VERY KIND OF YOU TO CALL. CAN I OFFER YOU ANYTHING--A
BASIN OF GRUEL, OR A GLASS OF COUGH MIXTURE? DON'T SAY NO."]


[Illustration: _AN IMPOSSIBILITY._

_Gent._ "WAITER! CHOP AND A PINT OF STOUT; AND LOOK SHARP."

_Waiter._ "OH, YES! IT'S ALL VERY WELL TO SAY LOOK SHARP."]


[Illustration: _BACHELOR HOUSEKEEPING._

_Mr. Brown._ "PRAY, JANE, WHAT ON EARTH IS THE REASON I AM KEPT WAITING
FOR MY BREAKFAST IN THIS WAY?"

_Jane._ "PLEASE, SIR, THE ROLLS ISN'T COME, AND THERE'S NO BREAD IN THE
HOUSE!"

_Mr. Brown._ "NOW, UPON MY WORD! HOW CAN YOU ANNOY ME WITH SUCH
TRIFLES? NO _BREAD_, THEN BRING ME SOME _TOAST_."

    [_Exit_ JANE _in dismay._]


[Illustration: _A FOOLISH AND A BETTING MAN._]


[Illustration: _A WISER AND A BETTER MAN._]


[Illustration: _MISUNDERSTANDING._

_Railway Porter._ "FIRST CLASS, SIR?"

_Unfortunate Oxonian._ "NO! PLUCKED!"]


[Illustration: _PLEASANT!_

_Affectionate Little Wife (who has made many abortive attempts to
fathom the secrets of Freemasonry)._ "WELL, BUT DEAR! TELL ME _ONE_
THING, DO THEY PUT YOU INTO A COFFIN?"]


[Illustration: _INSULTING A SCOTCHMAN._

_Boy._ "HERE YOU AIR, SIR! THREE PAIR O' TROWSER STRAPS FOR SIXPENCE."]


[Illustration: _THE MAN IN BRASS LAMENTING THE DECLINE OF THE LORD
MAYOR'S SHOW._]


[Illustration: "_BOLTED!_"]


[Illustration: _THE BETTING FEVER._]


[Illustration: _ONE OF THE EFFECTS OF THE BLACKGUARD BETTING OFFICES._

_Sporting Character._ "I DON'T EXACTLY LIKE ROBBING MASTER, BUT I MUST
MEET MY ENGAGEMENTS."]


[Illustration: _PEPPERING A GENT._

_Conductor (very loud)._ "GO ON, BILL; HERE'S THAT UGLY OLD COVE, WOT
ALWAYS KICKS UP SUCH A ROW, AND MAKES HISSELF SO DISAGREEABLE, JUST GOT
IN!"

_Driver._ "OH, HAS HE? I'VE A DOOCED GOOD MIND TO PITCH HIM OVER, AND
BREAK HIS STUPID OLD 'ED!!"]


[Illustration: _GAMMON._

_Ostler._ "PLEASE TO TAKE 'IM GENTLY OVER THE WOOD-PAVEMENT, SIR; FOR
HE'S WERRY FRESH THIS MORNING."]


[Illustration: _BALLOONING._]


[Illustration: _EVIL COMMUNICATIONS._

(AFTER A GREAT DEAL OF COAXING AND PERSUASION, MASTER TOM IS PREVAILED
UPON TO PAY HIS QUARTERLY VISIT TO THE DENTIST. INCONSIDERATE AND
VULGAR STREET BOYS UNFORTUNATELY PASS AT THE MOMENT HIS OBJECTIONS ARE
OVERCOME).

_First Inconsiderate Street Boy._ "OH CRIKEY! IF HERE AIN'T A CHAP
GOIN' TO HAVE A GRINDER OUT. MY EYE, WHAT FANGS!"

_Second Inconsiderate Do. Do._ "OH, I WOULDN'T BE 'IM. WON'T THERE BE A
SCR-E-W-A-U-N-CH NEETHER!"

    [_And of course_ MASTER TOM _relapses into his previous very
    obstinate state._]


[Illustration: _WHO WOULDN'T KEEP A FOOTMAN?_]


[Illustration: _DELIGHTFUL OUT-DOOR EXERCISE IN WARM WEATHER._

RUNNING AFTER "ANOTHER FOUR!" AT CRICKET, AMIDST DERISIVE SHOUTS
OF "NOW THEN, BUTTERFINGERS!"--"OH! OH!"--"THROW IT IN! LOOK
SHARP!"--"QUICK! IN WITH IT!" &C., &C.]


[Illustration: _A SMART YOUTH._

_Old Gentleman._ "BLESS MY HEART! THIS VIBRATION OF THE CARRIAGE
IS VERY UNUSUAL! PRAY, MY LITTLE MAN, HAVE YOU ANY APPREHENSION OF
ACCIDENTS ON RAILWAYS?"

_Juvenile._ "OH, NONE IN THE LEAST; AND ESPECIALLY WITH SUCH A FAT OLD
BUFFER AS YOU TO BE SHOT AGAINST."]


[Illustration: _AN UNREASONABLE COMPLAINT._

_Indignant Party._ "WHAT? A SHILLING FOR THE TWO MILES, AND A SIXPENCE
BESIDES! WHY, YOU DON'T CALL ME AN EXTRA PERSON?"

_Cabman._ "OH! DON'T I THO!"]


[Illustration: _BY THE "SAD SEA WAVES."_

TABLEAU REPRESENTING A YOUNG GENTLEMAN, WHO FANCIES HE IS ALONE, AND
TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY OF GOING THROUGH THE LAST SCENE OF "_LUCIA_."

_N.B. The Young Gentleman's voice is of the most feeble and uncertain
quality._]


THE GREAT CHARTIST DEMONSTRATION.


[Illustration: No. I.--_A LOYAL CITIZEN._

_Magistrate._ "NOW, SIR, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

_Nervous Gent._ "I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR; BUT I WISH TO BE SWORN IN AS A
CH-CH-CHARTIST--I MEAN AS A SP-SP-SPECIAL C-CONSTABLE!"]


[Illustration: NO. II.-_SPECIAL CONSTABLE GOING ON DUTY._

_Time--Two in the Morning._

_Captain of the Beat._ "OH! WE HAVE JUST LOOKED IN TO SAY THAT IT
IS YOUR TURN TO GO ON DUTY. THE ROOKERY AT THE BACK OF SLAUGHTER'S
ALLEY IS YOUR BEAT, I BELIEVE. YOU WILL LOSE NO TIME, IF YOU PLEASE.
FOR ITS A DREADFUL NEIGHBOURHOOD, AND ALL THE POLICE HAVE BEEN
WITHDRAWN--INDEED, SEVERAL MOST BRUTAL AND SAVAGE ATTACKS HAVE TAKEN
PLACE ALREADY!"]


[Illustration: No. III.--_DISTRIBUTION OF THE STAVES._]


[Illustration: No. IV.--_PREPARING FOR ACTION._

SPECIAL CONSTABLE DRYING HIS GUNPOWDER IN THE FRYING-PAN.]


[Illustration: No. V.--_RELIEF DUTY._

_Special's Wife._ "CONTRARY TO REGULATIONS, INDEED! FIDDLESTICKS! I
MUST INSIST, FREDERICK, UPON YOUR TAKING THIS HOT BRANDY-AND-WATER. I
SHALL BE HAVING YOU LAID UP NEXT, AND NOT FIT FOR ANYTHING."]


THE GREAT CHARTIST DEMONSTRATION.


[Illustration: No. VI.--_IN ACTION._

_Special Constable._ "NOW MIND, YOU KNOW--IF I KILL YOU, IT'S NOTHING;
BUT IF YOU KILL ME, BY JINGO, IT'S MURDER."]


[Illustration: No. VII.--_OUT OF WORK._

_First._ "TALK OF INTERRUPTION TO BUSINESS! VY, I GIVE YER MY VORD OF
HONOUR, THAT WOT WITH THEM SPECIALS AND THE REGLAR CRUSHERS, I AIN'T SO
MUCH AS PRIGGED A SINGLE HANDKERCHER FOR A VEEK."

_Second._ "OH, IT'S ENUFF TO MAKE VUN TURN RESPECTABLE."]


[Illustration: No. VIII.--_AN AGREEABLE DUTY._

_Special Constable._ "I BEG YOUR PARDON, YOUNG LADIES, BUT YOURS IS A
VERY DANGEROUS PROCESSION, AND WE MUST TAKE YOU IN CHARGE--WE MUST,
INDEED."]


THE GREAT CHARTIST DEMONSTRATION.


[Illustration: No. IX.--_THE BEGINNING AND THE END._

_Leader._ "HOORAY! VEEVE LER LIBERTY!! HARM YOURSELVES!!! TO THE
PALIS!! DOWN WITH HEAVERYTHINK!!!!"

_Leader._ "OH, SIR--PLEASE SIR--IT AIN'T ME, SIR--I'M FOR 'GOD SAVE THE
QUEEN' AND 'RULE BRITANNIER.' BOO-HOO--OH DEAR! OH DEAR!!"

    [_Bursts into tears._]


[Illustration: _HEROISM._

JOHN THOMAS, THE BELGRAVIAN FLUNKEY, AS HE APPEARED WHILE THE MOB WERE
BREAKING HIS MISSUSSES WINDOWS.]


[Illustration: _ADVANTAGES OF THE NEW POSTAL ARRANGEMENTS._]


[Illustration: _STUNNING POLITENESS._]


[Illustration: _LITERARY CHIT-CHAT._

"IS THIS A LIBERY?"

"YES."

"THEN LET ME HAVE THE LAST NUMBER OF HEMILY FITZ HOSBORN."]


[Illustration: _THE GREAT LINEN-DRAPERY NUISANCE._

_First Linen-draper._ "WHAT'S THE NEXT ARTICLE, SIR?"--_Victim._
"NOTHING MORE, THANK YOU."--_Second Linen-draper._ "WE'VE SOME SWEET
THINGS IN SHAWLS, SIR--QUITE NEW."--_Third Linen-draper._ "ALLOW ME,
SIR, TO TEMPT YOU WITH ONE OF THESE BEAUTIFUL HANDKERCHIEFS."--_Fourth
Linen-draper._ "THESE DRESSES, SIR." &c.--_Fifth Linen-draper._ "HERE
ARE LADIES' APRONS, SIR, MOST BEAUTIFULLY WORKED, QUITE ELEGANT, VERY
TASTY, AND FASHIONABLE," &c.

    [VICTIM _resolves never to enter the shop again._]


[Illustration: _AN AMBITIOUS YOUTH._

_Old Gentleman._ "NOW, AUGUSTUS; WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE?"

_Augustus._ "I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD LIKE--BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME."

_Old Gent._ "WHAT IS IT--A LAWYER?"

_Aug._ "NO: IT AIN'T A LAWYER."

_Old Gent._ "A SURGEON?"

_Aug._ "NO."

_Old Gent._ "A PARSON?"

_Aug._ "NO."

_Old Gent._ "A SOLDIER?"

_Aug._ "NO."

_Old Gent._ "WHAT, THEN?"

_Aug._ "WHY--A CLOWN AT ASTLEY'S."]


[Illustration: _APPEARANCES ARE DECEPTIVE._

_Officer (loq)._ "WELL, MY FINE FELLOW, SO YOU'VE BEEN IN THE REGULAR
ARMY?--IN THE WARS, TOO, I SEE--EH?"

_Stout Yeoman._ "NOA, COLONEL, I NEVER WASN'T IN NO WARS; BUT MY OLD
SOW GAINED A SILVER MEDAL LAST COUNTY AGRICULTURAL SOCIETY, SO I THO'T
AS O'W I MIGHT WEAR UN!"]


[Illustration: _THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT._

MASTER SMITH, AS HE APPEARED TRYING TO FORCE HIS MOUSTACHES FOR THE
BROWNS' PARTY.]


[Illustration: _THE WEDDING-DAY--FIRST ANNIVERSARY._

PRESENTS--BEAUTIFUL BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FROM COVENT GARDEN, AND SUCH A
LOVELY BRACELET!"]


[Illustration: _OXFORD COSTUME._

_First Swell._ "AWFUL SHIRT! EH?"

_Second ditto._ "YA'AS, LINEN'S SO DEUCED COMMON NOW--I'M GOING TO
SPORT EMBROIDERED SILK."

_First Ditto._ "HAH! CHEESY IDEA TOO! BUT OUR GILLS WANT ELEVATING!"]


[Illustration: _THE WEDDING-DAY--FOURTEENTH ANNIVERSARY._

PRESENTS--BEAUTIFUL BUNDLE OF ASPARAGUS FROM COVENT GARDEN, AND THE
NICEST DOUBLE PERAMBULATOR IN THE WORLD!!]


[Illustration: _NOT THE FIRST TIME._

"I BEG YOUR PARDON, MA'AM, BUT I THINK YOU DROPPED THIS."]


[Illustration: _OUR LAZY CONTRIBUTOR._

"PLEASE, SIR, HERE'S THE PRINTER'S BOY CALLED AGAIN."

"OH, BOTHER! SAY I'M BUSY."]


[Illustration: _WHICH IS BEST?_

_Matilda._ "I WONDER, MARIA, YOU DON'T PUT AUGUSTUS INTO JACKETS AND
TROWSERS; REALLY HE GROWS TOO TALL FOR THAT KIND OF COSTUME."

_Maria._ "PERHAPS, MATILDA, YOU WILL BE KIND ENOUGH TO ALLOW ME TO DRESS
MY OWN CHILD IN MY OWN WAY. I AM MUCH OBLIGED TO YOU ALL THE SAME. _I_
DON'T LIKE THE PRACTICE _SOME_ PEOPLE HAVE OF DRESSING LITTLE BOYS LIKE
LITTLE MEN!!!"]


[Illustration: _WHISKERANDOS._

"THERE, MY BOY! IT ISN'T EVERYBODY WHO COULD DO THAT!"]


[Illustration: _A DAY'S PLEASURE._

SKETCH OF A "LORD OF THE CREATION" ON HIS
RETURN FROM THE DERBY.]


[Illustration: _YACHTING._

SPARE BED (BERTH, WE MEAN) ON BOARD OUR FRIEND'S SCHOONER.]


[Illustration: _A VERY YOUNG MARINER._]


[Illustration: _A YOUNG MARINER._]


[Illustration: _AN ANCIENT MARINER._]


[Illustration: _A GOOD SIZED FLOAT._

_Little Gent (with undue familiarity)._ "I SAY, MY OLD COCKYWAX,--I
S'POSE THE FISH AIN'T VERY LARGE OFF RAMSGIT--ARE THEY?"

_Fisherman._ "WELL! I SHOULDN'T SAY AS THEY WAS WERRY SMALL--WHEN WE'RE
OBLIGED TO USE SICH FLOATS AS THEM TO OUR FISHIN' TACKLE! MY YOUNG
COCKYWAX!" (_Gent is shut up._)]


[Illustration: _A SPORTING GENT PRACTISING FOR THE HUNTING SEASON._]


[Illustration: _A CURIOUS PERSON._]


[Illustration: _MICHAELMAS DAY. THE CHEAP TAILOR'S GOOSE PROVIDES
HIMSELF WITH A SHOOTING JACKET AND VEST._]


[Illustration: _"MUSIC HATH CHARMS," &C._]


[Illustration: _THE STAG AT BAY._]


[Illustration: _CLOSE OF THE SEASON--THE LONDON FOOTMAN EXHAUSTED._]


[Illustration: _BEGINNING FIRES FOR THE WINTER--SOMETHING WRONG WITH
THE CHIMNEY._

_Sweep (loq.)._ "THIS CHIMLE ALWAYS WAS A BAD UN TO SMOKE, SIR; THE
PARTY AS LIVED HERE BEFORE YOU CAME HAD A DEAL OF TROUBLE WITH IT."]


[Illustration: _AN ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF SCIENCE ON AN
EXCURSION._]


[Illustration: _AMUSEMENT FOR A RAINY DAY._

_Clara._ "I SAY, GUS--COME HERE! STAND STILL AND OPEN YOUR MOUTH, AND
WE'LL DROP CHOCOLATE INTO IT. WE'VE NOTHING TO DO!"

_GUS._ "ALL RIGHT, GIRLS! FIRE AWAY!"

    [_After an hour of this interesting occupation, Gus retires
    slightly uncomfortable._]


[Illustration: _POTICHOMANIA (THE ART OF DECORATING GLASS)_,

AS CARRIED OUT BY MASTER TOM DURING THE EASTER HOLIDAYS.]


  INDEX.

  PORTRAIT OF JOHN LEECH, _Frontispiece._
                                                           YEAR     PAGE

  ADVANTAGES of the new Postal arrangements                 1845     272

  Advice Gratis                                             1852      62

  Affair of Importance, An                                  1852      12

  After the Pantomime                                       1853      70

  Aged Juvenile, An                                         1846     223

  Aggravating--Rather                                       1850     151

  Agony Column                                              1849     262

  Agricultural Distress                                     1851     129

  Agricultural Distress Dodge, The                          1851     185

  Alarming                                                  1850      50

  Alarming                                                  1852      78

  Alarming Effect produced by imprudently trying the Hat
     and Table-moving Experiment                            1853     164

  Alarming Intelligence                                     1852      30

  Alarming Message, An                                      1842     222

  Alarming Occurrence                                       1850      11

  Alarming Symptoms                                         1846      10

  Alderman's Advice to his Son, The                         1851      37

  All is fair in Love, &c                                   1855     255

  All is Vanity                                             1852     176

  Ambitious Youth, An                                       1848     273

  Amusement for a Rainy Day                                 1863     280

  An Exclusive                                              1852     112

  An Impossibility                                          1846     263

  Analogy                                                   1850     113

  Ancient Impostor, An                                      1852     170

  Ancient Mariner, An                                       1852     277

  And here are the Girls in the Round Hats                  1855     169

  Anglers hear Strange Things                               1845      36

  Angling in the Serpentine                                 1851     102

  Another Bit from the Mining Districts                     1854     121

  Another Bit of Serious Pantomime                          1852     168

  Another Innocent and Amusing, &c                          1848      48

  Anxious Moment, An                                        1853     204

  Appearances are Deceptive                                 1850     274

  Appropriate                                               1855     251

  Aquatics                                                  1855    169,
                                                                216, 226

  Arithmetic at the University                              1851     134

  Artful Excuse, An                                         1847      94

  Ascot, At                                                 1852     218

  Association for the Advancement of Science on an
    Excursion, An                                           1846     279

  Awful Appearance of a "Wopps"                             1849     213

  Awful Instance of Perception, &c.                         1849      55

  Awful Occurrence at an Evening Party                      1851      38

  Awful Position during a Storm                             1846      77

  Awful Scene on the Chain Pier, Brighton                   1846      50

  Awkward                                                   1855      49

  Awkward Consequence of removing the Soldiers from
    Knightsbridge                                           1851     257

  BACHELOR Housekeeping                                     1852     263

  Back View, A                                              1854     211

  Ballooning                                                1850     266

  Bands of Hope, The                                        1852      56

  Barrack Life                                              1851      58

  Bath at Boulogne, A                                       1853     165

  Battle of the Pianos, The                                 1855     250

  Battledore and Shuttlecock                                1854     220

  Beard and Moustache Movement, The                         1853     140

  Beard Movement, The                                       1854      49

  Beginning Fires for the Winter--something wrong with
    the Chimney                                             1846     279

  Best of Both Worlds                                       1848      84

  Best Preventive against Sea-sickness: I., II., III.       1855     163

  Betting Fever, The                                        1852     265

  Birthday, The                                             1853      88

  Bit from the Mining Districts                             1854     121

  Bit of his Mind, A                                        1853     222

  Bit of Serious Pantomime, A                               1855     168

  Bitter Sarcasm                                            1850      27

  Bless the Boy!                                            1850      15

  Boat for an Hour, A                                       1846     151

  "Bolted!"                                                 1852     265

  Bon-bon from a Juvenile Party, A                          1851  17, 90

  Bottom-Fishing                                            1855     118

  Bribery is detestable, but Politeness costs Nothing       1847     183

  Brilliant Idea, A                                         1854     259

  British Ruffian, A                                        1852     132

  Briton Abroad, The                                        1853     124

  Brook Green Volunteer, The                                1846    155,
                                            157, 159, 173, 174, 175, 177

  Brutal Fellow, A                                          1853      46

  By the "Sad Sea Waves"                                    1854     268


  CANDID                                                    1848     127

  Capital Offer, A                                          1854     208

  Caught                                                    1847      98

  Cause for Reproof, A                                      1847     257

  Caution to a Little Boy at a Festive Season, A            1853     119

  Changing the Subject                                      1848     122

  Châtelaine, The                                           1849      64

  Cheap Day's Hunting, A                                    1849   184-5

  Church and State                                          1851      57

  Close of the Season--The London Footman exhausted         1846     279

  Cold Comfort                                              1849     139

  Coming to the Point                                       1848      19

  Coming Home                                               1853      86

  Comparative Love                                          1851     174

  Complimentary                                             1850      65

  Complimentary                                             1855     261

  Compliments                                               1854     246

  Confound the Shops                                        1852      54

  Conscientious Stable Keeper, The                          1853      68

  Consols at 90, Consols at 80                              1848     167

  Consolation                                               1845     118

  Constitutional Walk, The                                  1853     258

  Cool Assurance                                            1854     205

  Correct Mode of Riding in Rotten Row                      1851       7

  Country Ball, A                                           1851     128

  Country Races                                             1854     243

  Court Dress, A                                            1848       5

  Cruel                                                     1851       6

  Cruel                                                     1853     110

  Curious Mode of Conducting a Retail Establishment         1855     225

  Curious Person, A                                         1852     278

  Cut Him down Behind                                       1852      53


  DAY'S Pleasure, A                                         1851     276

  Dear Delights of Britain's Summer Fields, The             1852     173

  "De Gustibus," &c., &c.                                   1846      16

  De Gustibus                                               1851     127

  Delicate                                                  1852      54

  Delicacy of the Season                                    1852      56

  Delicious Morsel, A                                       1846      25

  Delicious Sail off Dover, A                               1854      87

  Delights of Travel                                        1846     162

  Delightful Outdoor Exercise                               1854     267

  Delusion, A                                               1855     207

  Derby Epidemic                                            1846      14

  Did you Ever?                                             1851       4

  Difference of View                                        1847     176

  Different Opinions                                        1851      69

  Different People have Different Opinions                  1852      26

  Discernment                                               1853      48

  Distraction                                               1847      86

  Distressing Result of Emigration                          1851     146

  Distwessing--Vewy                                         1853      66

  Division of Labour                                        1853      89

  Docile Husband, The                                       1847     258

  Dog Days                                                  1853      77

  Doing a Little Bill                                       1846      20

  Doing it Thoroughly                                       1855     153

  Domestic Bliss                                            1847     36,
                                                                     147

  Domestic Bliss                                            1848      24

  Domestic Event in the Zoological Gardens                  1850   166-7

  Domestic Sanitary Regulations                             1850     125

  Doubtful                                                  1850     257

  Drawing-room Entertainment, A                             1853     219

  Dreadful Crisis                                           1848     105

  Dreadful Destitution                                      1848     209

  Dreadful Shock to the Nerves, A                           1846      52

  Dumb Waiter, A                                            1849      33

  During the Frost a certain Foxhunter increases in
     weight, and gets too big for his clothes               1854     138


  EARLY Education                                           1852     183

  Easily Pleased                                            1852      56

  Easily Satisfied                                          1852      52

  Easy Shaving                                              1852     134

  Easy Forecast, An                                         1853     244

  Educational Movement                                      1848     253

  Effects of Salt Water, as observed at the Regatta Ball    1852     227

  Elegant and Rational Costume for Close Weather            1850     135

  Elegant Habit                                             1853     112

  Encouraging                                               1852       4

  End of a Five Minutes' Burst, The                         1847     178

  Energetic                                                 1850      99

  Enter Mr. Bottles the Butler                              1854      47

  Enthusiastic Fisherman, An                                1849     127

  Evening Parties                                           1849      25

  Evil Communications                                       1854     267

  Every Little Helps                                        1850     108

  Excellent Wine, An                                        1846      35

  Excessively Polite                                        1851      68

  Excited Nimrod, An                                        1853     254

  Experienced Veteran, An                                   1854     259

  Extreme Delicacy                                          1848     260

  Extremes Meet                                             1845     214

  Eye to Business, An                                       1845      75


  FACT, A                                                   1854     128

  False Position, A                                         1853      85

  Familiarity                                               1846     251

  Fancy Dress Ball                                          1846      62

  Fancy Portrait                                            1852      11

  Fashionable Intelligence                                  1845       6

  Fashionable Intelligence                                  1845     151

  Fashions, The                                             1850      24

  Fashions for Fast Men                                     1847     205

  Fashions in Pins, A                                       1845      32

  Faulty Mirror, A                                          1850     116

  Filling up the Census Paper                               1851     131

  Fine Business, indeed, the Wretch!                        1855     247

  Fine Disposition, A                                       1848      63

  Fish Dinner, The                                          1846      14

  Fishing off a Watering Place                              1852      83

  Fishing off Brighton                                      1846     151

  Fishing with Flies                                        1851     141

  Flowers of the French Army                                1851      76

  Fly-Fishing                                               1853    156,
                                                                     254

  Folkestone, Arrival of the Boat                           1852     203

  Foolish and a Betting Man, A                              1852     263

  Foreigner of Distinction                                  1852      70

  Fox steals away from Cover                                1851     106

  Fragment, A                                               1847      84

  Fresh Morning                                             1854     247

  Friendly but very Unpleasant                              1855     244

  Frightful!                                                1855     206

  Frightful upset of Dignity                                1852     148

  From a Beautiful Miniature                                1843      34

  From the Mining Districts                                 1855     241

  GALLANTRY                                                 1851      32

  Gammon                                                    1847     266

  Garret and the Conservatory, The                          1852     124

  Gay Young Fellow, A                                       1851      16

  Genteel Practice                                          1846      26

  Gentle Craft, The                                         1853     104

  Glorious News                                             1846      74

  Going out Arresting                                       1846     244

  Going out to an "At Home"                                 1852     130

  Going to Cover                                            1852      72

  Gold Fish at Hampton Court, The                           1846      65

  Good Little Boy, The                                      1850      26

  Good Reasons                                              1852     224

  Good-sized Float, A                                       1852     277

  Gorgeous Spectacle                                        1854     248

  Grandmamma is supposed, &c                                1851     115

  Grand Show of Prize Vegetarians                           1852     117

  Great Bargain, A                                          1854     171

  Great Chartist Demonstration, The                         1848    269,
                                                           270, 271, 272

  Great Exhibition, Memorials of the                        1851 228-240

  Great Linen-drapery Nuisance, The                         1847     273

  Great Loss, A                                             1852      52

  Great Mental Effort, A                                    1853      85

  Great Misfortune, A                                       1847     245

  Great Want of Veneration                                  1844      22

  Greenwich Dinner, The                                     1853       9

  Greenwich Fair, At                                        1846     182

  Gross Insult                                              1852     126

  Gross Offence, A                                          1848      97

  Groundless Alarm                                          1850     156

  Grouse Shooting late in the Season--Jolly, Very           1854     179


  HACK for the Day, A                                       1853       8

  Hall along of them Betting Offices                        1852      46

  Hansom Offer, A                                           1852     252

  Hard Rider, A                                             1854      89

  Hat Moving Experiment, The                                1853     172

  Heart-Breaking                                            1854     215

  Heavy Blow, A                                             1852     136

  Heroism                                                   1855     272

  Highland Game in a London Street, A                       1849      14

  Highly Interesting                                        1852      76

  Home for the Holidays                                     1848      22

  Honeymoon, The                                            1850      79

  Hooking and Eyeing                                        1851      16

  Horrible Business, A                                      1851     142

  Horrible Idea, A                                          1855     247

  Horrible Incident in Real Life                            1852     116

  Housemaids Refusing Service                               1852     114

  How do you like it?                                       1850     135

  How Kind                                                  1854     203

  How to Dress a Lobster                                    1851      62

  How to Escape from a Scolding Wife                        1847     221

  How to get a Connection                                   1854     222

  How to Get Rid of a Gratis Patient                        1846      14

  How to Flatter a Gent                                     1854     253

  How to make a Châtelaine, &c                              1849      90

  How to make Culprits Comfortable                          1849     137

  How No 4 Enjoyed Himself, and How No 8 Suffered
    in Consequence                                          1850     142

  How to Suit the Taste                                     1846      12

  How to Take Care of the Children                          1852     177

  Humorous Customer, A                                      1853     181

  Hunting Memorandum                                        1853     100


  IMPENDING Disaster, An                                    1847      82

  Improvement in Irish Affairs                              1854     217

  Impudence                                                 1848     248

  Impudent Minx, An                                         1852      64

  In a very Bad Way                                         1853     205

  In Camp, Hospitality                                      1853      85

  In for It                                                 1844       7

  Indiscretion                                              1855     224

  Influenza, The                                            1847     262

  Information                                               1846     126

  Ingenious Fellow, An                                      1851      95

  Ingenious Idea                                            1853      67

  Innocence                                                 1847      24

  Innocent and Amusing Little Trick                         1848      48

  Inquiring Mind, An                                        1847     261

  Insulting a Scotchman                                     1854     264

  Interesting                                               1852     148

  Interesting Scene During the Canvas                       1852      20

  Interesting Story, The                                    1850      31

  Irish Hotel, An                                           1846     217

  Is it So?                                                 1849     150


  JACK Tar, A                                               1850      37

  Jealousy                                                  1850      16

  Jealousy                                                  1854     259

  John Thomas Misplaced                                     1848     114

  Jolly Dog, A                                              1850      64

  Joys of Ocean, The                                        1848       6

  Judicious                                                 1856     223

  Just Like Him                                             1851     154

  Just the Man                                              1852      30


  KNOWLEDGE is Power                                        1853      90


  LADIES of the Creation                                    1851     186
                                                                    -199

  La Mode                                                   1852      32

  Late Arrival, A                                           1851       3

  Large Bump of Caution, A                                  1855     215

  Laying the Dust                                           1850      66

  Left-handed Compliment, A                                 1853      45

  Literal                                                   1854      46

  Literary Chit-chat                                        1842     273

  Little Bit of Humbug, A                                   1851      57

  Little Surprise, A                                        1847      19

  Little Women                                              1849      96

  London Gent Abroad, A                                     1851      12

  Long Vacation                                             1847     161

  Long Vacation in Arcadia, The                             1844     148

  Look before you Leap                                      1848     202

  Lost One, The                                             1849      34

  Love on the Ocean                                         1845      73

  Lucid Explanation, A                                      1849     262

  Lumping Penn'orth, A                                      1845      50


  MAKING the Best of it                                     1845     115

  Making the Best of it                                     1856     218

  Making the Most of it                                     1845      12

  Mal Apropos                                               1849      28

  Man about Town, A                                         1846      60

  Man in Brass lamenting the Decline of
    the Lord Mayor's Show, The                              1850     264

  Man of Feeling, A                                         1848      84

  Man of Opinion, A                                         1852     258

  Manly Sorrow                                              1850     182

  Manners make the Man                                      1852     100

  March of Luxury                                           1846     245

  Master of the Situation                                   1848     158

  Maternal Solicitude                                       1849      10

  May Day                                                   1852     183

  May Difference of Opinion, &c.                            1846      38

  Meeting him Halfway                                       1848     123

  Melancholy Reverse of Fortune                             1846     127

  Melancholy Scene at the Opera on a crowded Night          1847     182

  Men of Business                                           1849      36

  Men of Experience                                         1846     108

  Men of the World                                          1852     123

  Mermaids at Play                                          1848      18

  Michaelmas Day. The cheap Tailor                          1847     278

  Might is Right                                            1853     160

  Might _versus_ Right                                      1846     251

  Misplaced Confidence                                      1849     207

  Mistaken Impression, A                                    1855     223

  Mr. Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping                    1849     21,
                                                  23, 25, 27, 29, 31, 33

  Mr. Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping                    1849-50  35,
                                         37, 39, 40, 53, 55, 57, 59, 171

  Mr. Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting                         1849-51  61,
                          63, 65, 67, 69, 71, 73, 75, 77, 79, 80, 93, 95

  Mr. Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing                         1850-51  97,
                                                  99, 101, 103, 105, 107

  Mr. Briggs's Pleasures of Shooting                        1850     51,
                                  109, 111, 113, 115, 117, 119, 139, 141

  Mr. Briggs's Pleasures of Racing                          1851    143,
                                                                144, 145

  Misunderstanding                                          1853     264

  More Free than Welcome                                    1849      82

  Morning after The Derby, The                              1853      60

  Most Alarming Swelling, A                                 1850     126

  Most Distressing                                          1855     253

  Moustache Movement                                        1854    210,
                                                                220, 274

  Mr. 'Arry Belville on the Continent Generally             1853     201

  Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball                                    1847   41-44

  Mr. Verdant's First Attempt at Book-making                1853      60

  Much too Clever                                           1850     100

  Much too Considerate                                      1850      32

  Murder will out                                           1852      20

  "Music hath Charms," &c.                                  1854     278

  Mysterious Visitor, A                                     1854     162


  NATIVE Politeness                                         1855     248

  Never Satisfied                                           1848      39

  New Act, The                                              1853      47

  New Arrival, The                                          1849     227

  New Bonnet, The                                           1853      85

  New Cricketing Dresses to Protect all
    England against the present swift bowling               1854     168

  New Groom, The                                            1851     170

  New Hunter, The                                           1848      70

  New Purchase, The                                         1855     152

  Nice Game at Billiards, A                                 1853      91

  Nice Team, A                                              1852     259

  No Doubt                                                  1849      67

  No News is Good News                                      1850      93

  No Place like Home                                        1853     104

  North East Wind                                           1851      58

  Not a difficult Thing to Foretell                         1851      75

  Not the First Time                                        1855     275

  Not to be played with                                     1848      58

  Not very likely                                           1850     108

  Not what he wanted                                        1851     153

  Not yet                                                   1851      76

  Nothing like knowing the Country                          1854     204

  Nothing like Prudence                                     1849     114

  Nothing like System                                       1847     214

  Nothing like Warm Bathing                                 1846      28


  OCEAN Swell, An                                           1848     111

  Of Course                                                 1851      46

  Off the Foreland                                          1846     227

  Oh!                                                       1854     212

  Oh, the Curtains!                                         1853      86

  Old Gentleman is in a hurry to get to the Station         1853     141

  Omnibus Incident, An                                      1846     112

  One of the Effects of the Blackguard Betting Offices      1852     265

  Only a Penny!                                             1851     158

  On the Moors                                              1854     202

  Ornament to Society, An                                   1852     160

  Opera, The                                                1846     181

  Opera, The                                                1851     132

  Our Boys                                                  1853     210

  Our English Climate                                       1847     143

  Our Foreign Visitors                                      1851     131

  Our Friend Belville airs his French at Boulogne           1854     201

  Our Lazy Contributor                                      1846     276

  Our National Defences                                     1848      26

  Our "Used-up" Man takes a Walk with his Cousins           1850     213

  Our Young People                                          1847      96

  Out of Town                                               1849     165

  Overtaken by the Tide, Margate                            1848     226

  Oxford Costume                                            1853     275

  Oysters in June--Delicious!                               1852     136


  PATERFAMILIAS makes himself independent of Hotels         1854     123

  Peppering a Gent                                          1849     266

  Perfect Sincerity; or, Thinkings Aloud                    1849    180,
                                                                181, 262

  Perils of a Court Presentation, The                       1855     206

  Personal Opinion, A                                       1846      96

  Philosopher, A                                            1852      10

  Pic-nic, The                                              1851     106

  Picture, A                                                1853      51

  Pike is a voracious Fish, The                             1852      90

  Pity is Akin to Love                                      1846     112

  Pity the Sorrows of the Poor Police                       1852      13

  Plain Speaking                                            1848      61

  Playful Creature, A                                       1853      59

  Pleasing Delusion, A                                      1846     220

  Pleasant                                                  1852     92,
                                                                     120

  Pleasant                                                  1855     264

  Pleasant State of Things, A                               1846      40

  Pleasant Street Game                                      1850      20

  Pleasures of Housekeeping                                 1849     255

  Pleasures of the Studio                                   1852     174

  Pledge of Affection, A                                    1847     209

  Poor Tommy                                                1852      54

  Pop!                                                      1844      34

  Portrait of a Lady                                        1852     154

  Potichomania                                              1855     280

  Poultry Fancies                                           1853     224

  Poultry Fancies--the Pets                                 1853     252

  Poultry Mania, The                                        1853     260

  Preparing for the Derby                                   1852     176

  Pride                                                     1845     150

  Private and Confidential                                  1852     214

  Private Opinion, A                                        1846     119

  Private Theatricals                                       1854      81

  Probable Effect of Cheap Furniture                        1846      64

  Probable Result of the Cochin China Fowl Mania            1853     249

  Prodigious!                                               1847      15

  Prodigious Nuisance, A                                    1852     136

  Professional Man, A                                       1850      17

  Professor Buckwheat Impressing, &c.                       1845     130

  Progress of Slang, The                                    1847      38

  Proper Pride                                              1849      30

  Propriety                                                 1848       5

  Prudence and Imprudence                                   1847     243

  Prudent Resolve, A                                        1853      98

  Punctuality is the Soul of Business                       1845     214

  Putting his Foot in it                                    1852      18

  Puzzling Order, A                                         1846      92


  QUIET Weed, A                                             1852      15

  Quite a Novelty                                           1854     225

  Quite Unnecessary                                         1848     108


  RAILWAY Literature                                        1852      45

  Railway Miseries                                          1845     241

  Rather a Bad Look-out                                     1849      52

  Rather a Drop                                             1855     184

  Rather Awkward for Tomkins                                1855     129

  Rather Severe                                             1852     116

  Rather Suspicious                                         1850      50

  Real Difficulty, A                                        1848     120

  Real Enjoyment                                            1849      34

  Real Flower Show, The                                     1855     190

  Reduced Circumstances                                     1846     257

  Reflection, A                                             1849     170

  Regular Customer, A                                       1852      30

  Religion à la Mode                                        1850      74

  Remonstrance                                              1853     185

  Removing                                                  1847   178-9

  Return from a Masquerade                                  1844     256

  Returning from the Seaside                                1846     101

  Reward of Merit                                           1851     110

  Rising Generation, The                                    1846     109

  Rising Generation, The                                    1847     35,
                                                                      73

  Rising Generation, The                                    1851      66

  Road-side on the Derby Day, The                           1850     146

  Romance and Reality                                       1852      13

  Romance of Roast Ducks, A                                 1848      78

  Room for Improvement                                      1850     134

  Rough Country, A                                          1847     256

  Round Hat, The, Laden with Novels in a Storm              1854      87

  Ruling Passion, The                                       1846      28


  SAILORS on Shore Carousing                                1850     137

  St. Bernard Mastiff, The                                  1853     242

  Savage Reproof, A                                         1854     149

  Scene.--Bureau of the Chiefs of the Douanes               1853     201

  Scene on the English Coast                                1855     208

  Scene--Westminster Bridge                                 1853      69

  Sea-side Hat, The                                         1854    221,
                                                                     247

  Sea-side Literature for Young Ladies                      1849     147

  Sea-side. Saturday Evening                                1848     216

  Sea-side. The Bathing Hour                                1855     152

  Seasonable Question                                       1850     132

  Self-Esteem                                               1848     126

  Sell, A                                                   1851     150

  Servantgalism                                             1853    212,
                                                 217, 218, 221, 222, 242

  Shakespeare a little altered                              1845     172

  Silver Age, The                                           1853     162

  Sketch at Ramsgate, A                                     1852      51

  Sketch from Nature, A                                     1845      66

  Sketch near Burton Crescent                               1847      38

  Sketch of Character by, &c.                               1850      95

  Small by Degrees and beautifully Less                     1855     219

  Smart Youth, A                                            1847     267

  Snow-Flakes                                               1853      88

  Snuffed out                                               1851       3

  Social Struggles                                          1852     212

  So fond of it                                             1851     175

  Solicitude                                                1849      48

  Something like a Brother                                  1852      33

  Something like a Holiday                                  1845      22

  Sometimes you "pick up" Hunters for next to nothing       1847     261

  Son and Heir                                              1853      72

  Sound Advice                                              1852      76

  Speak as you Think                                        1849     142

  Speculators                                               1846      17

  Spelling a Newspaper                                      1842     180

  Splendid Day with the "Queen's"                           1848     105

  Sporting Character, A                                     1847     131

  Sporting Extraordinary                                    1852       8

  Sporting Gent practising for the Season                   1847     278

  Sporting Intelligence                                     1852     102

  Stag at Bay, The                                          1845     278

  Startling Effect of the "Gold Diggings"                   1852     134

  Startling Request, A                                      1846      53

  Starved-out Alderman, The                                 1845     111

  Steeple-Chase, The                                        1853     200

  Strange, but True                                         1850      74

  Street Dialogue                                           1843      98

  Strong Assertion                                          1853       9

  Study of an Elderly Female, &c.                           1853     180

  Stunning Politeness                                       1856     273

  Subject for a Picture                                     1851      45

  Suburban Felicity, Gratifying Domestic
    (Poultry) Incident                                      1854     138

  Suggestion, A                                             1848      93

  Suggestive of a Picturesque Figure                        1849     256

  Summer in Elysium                                         1852     148

  Symptoms of Wet Weather                                   1846      13


  TAKING Change                                             1850      31

  Taking it Coolly                                          1852       4

  Taste                                                     1853      60

  Taste in the Drawing-room, Villikins and his Dinah        1854     250

  Tempus Edax Rerum                                         1852      78

  Terrible Accident                                         1855     227

  Terrible Domestic Incident                                1849     130

  Test of Gallantry, The                                    1845       4

  Test of Strength, A                                       1854     135

  Thames Fishing                                            1851      71

  That is the Question                                      1852     133

  Thorough Good Cook, A                                     1855     125

  Those Shocking Clubs                                      1855     205

  Tight Fit, A                                              1846      92

  Too Civil by Half                                         1852      70

  Too Faithful Portrait, The                                1850     209

  Too Popular by Half                                       1847     250

  Topsy Turveydom                                           1850     158

  Touching Simplicity                                       1856     223

  Town and Country                                          1852      81

  Travellers' Requisites                                    1854     253

  Trial-for-Murder Mania, The                               1849     161

  Troops and the Weather, The                               1845      29

  True Politeness                                           1851     140

  True Respectability                                       1850     131

  Truth is Great                                            1854     207

  Turfites                                                  1853     132


  UNDENIABLE                                                1845     185

  Undesigned Incident, An                                   1853     103

  Unfeeling Observation                                     1847       7

  Unlucky                                                   1847      24

  Unreasonable Complaint, An                                1853     268

  Unseasonable Sport                                        1852     133

  Up to Weight                                              1854     121

  Used up                                                   1851      98

  Useful if not Ornamental                                  1855     211

  Useless Information                                       1851     172

  VALUABLE Animal, A                                        1852       6

  Valuable Hint                                             1849      94

  Very Accommodating                                        1853     249

  Very Acute                                                1852      74

  Very Considerate                                          1852     122

  Very Fine Fruit                                           1848      10

  Very Fine Gentlemen                                       1848      91

  Very Fine Talking                                         1846      11

  Very Great Man, A                                         1854     216

  Very Kind                                                 1854     164

  Very Low People                                           1852      54

  Very Old Soldier, A                                       1846      39

  Very Particular                                           1855     210

  Very Proper Diet for Hot Weather                          1852      62

  Very Vulgar Subject, A                                    1853      86

  Very Young Mariner, A                                     1854     277

  Victim of Circumstances, A                                1847     225

  Victim of Pleasure, A                                     1854     215

  Visit to the Antediluvian Reptiles at Sydenham, A         1854     246


  WAITING for a Dip                                         1847     154

  Waltonians                                                1852      83

  We All have our Troubles                                  1852      28

  Wedding Day, The                                          1855     275

  Weighty Matter, A                                         1851      91

  Wellington Statue, The                                    1846     260

  What a Dreadful Story!                                    1854     149

  What is This?                                             1849      36

  What they said to Themselves                              1852       5

  What will He do with Them?                                1855     241

  What's the Matter?                                        1849     255

  When it is Delightful to Lose a Bet                       1853     110

  Where Ignorance is not Bliss                              1848     245

  Which is Best?                                            1849     276

  Whiskerandos                                              1854     276

  Who wouldn't keep a Footman?                              1850     267

  Wholesome Prejudice                                       1850     176

  Why, Indeed?                                              1855     122

  Wiser and a Better Man, A                                 1852     263

  Wounded Pride                                             1850     156


  YACHTING                                                  1854     276

  Young Affection                                           1844     162

  Young Gentleman and Scholar, A                            1846     133

  Young Mariner, A                                          1852     277

  Young Patrician, A                                        1853     177

  Young Philosopher, A                                      1847     215

  Youth at the Prow, and Pleasure at the Helm               1854     248


[Illustration: END OF VOL. I.]

LONDON: BRADBURY. AGNEW, & CO., PRINTERS, WHITEFRIARS.

[Transcriber's Note:

Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation are as in the original.]





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