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Title: Goody Two-Shoes - A Facsimile Reproduction of the Edition of 1766
Author: Anonymous
Language: English
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*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "Goody Two-Shoes - A Facsimile Reproduction of the Edition of 1766" ***

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                           GOODY TWO-SHOES

                       A FACSIMILE REPRODUCTION

                                OF THE

                           EDITION OF 1766

                        _WITH AN INTRODUCTION_

                                  BY

                            CHARLES WELSH



                          GRIFFITH & FARRAN

                   _Successors to Newbery & Harris_

             WEST CORNER OF ST PAUL'S CHURCHYARD, LONDON

                                 1881



                            INTRODUCTION.

                  *       *       *       *       *


In _The London Chronicle_ for December 19--January 1, 1765--the
following advertisement appeared:--

 "The Philosophers, Politicians, Necromancers, and the Learned in every
  Faculty are desired to observe that on the 1st of January, being New
  Year's Day (Oh, that we may all lead new Lives!), Mr Newbery intends
  to publish the following important volumes, bound and gilt, and hereby
  invites all his little friends who are good to call for them at the
  Bible and Sun, in St Paul's Churchyard: but those who are naughty are
  to have none.

 "1. The Renowned History of Giles Gingerbread: a little boy who lived
     upon learning.

 "2. The Easter Gift; or the way to be good; a book much wanted.

 "3. The Whitsuntide Gift: or the way to be happy; a book very necessary
     for all families.

 "4. The Valentine Gift: or how to behave with honour, integrity, and
     humanity: very useful with a Trading Nation.

 "5. The Fairing: or a golden present for children. In which they can
     see all the fun of the fair, and at home be as happy as if they were
     there, a Book of great consequence to all whom it may concern.'

 "We are also desired to give notice that there is in the Press, and
  speedily will be published either by subscription or otherwise, as the
  Public shall please to determine, The History of Little Goody Two
  Shoes, otherwise called Margery Two Shoes. Printed and sold at The
  Bible and Sun in St Paul's Churchyard, where may be had all Mr
  Newbery's little books for the children and youth of these kingdoms
  and the colonies. New Editions of those which were out of print are
  now republished.

 "The publication of the Lilliputian System of Politics is postponed
  till the meeting of Parliament. This work, which will be replete with
  cuts and characters, is not intended to exalt or depress any
  particular country, to support the pride of any particular family, or
  to feed the folly of any particular party, but to stimulate the mind
  to virtue, to promote universal benevolence, to make mankind happy.
  Those who would know more of the matter may enquire of Mr Newbery."

This quaint and curious announcement, with its sly humour and serious
playfulness, is characteristic of the house of John Newbery, in the
latter part of the last century; and there is no need to speak here of
the fame of the books for children which he published; "the
philanthropic publisher of St Paul's Churchyard," as Goldsmith calls
him, conferred inestimable benefits upon thousands of little folk, of
both high and low estate. It is said of Southey when a child that

 "The well-known publishers of "Goody Two Shoes," "Giles Gingerbread,"
  and other such delectable histories, in sixpenny books for children,
  splendidly bound in the flowered and gilt Dutch paper of former days,
  sent him twenty such volumes, and laid the foundation of a love of
  books which grew with the child's growth, and did not cease even when
  the vacant mind and eye could only gaze in piteous, though blissful
  imbecility upon the things they loved."[A]

Many of these little books have been doubtless long since forgotten,
though they did not deserve such a fate; but the name of "Goody Two
Shoes" is still familiar to the ears of English children, though the
book itself may be unknown to thousands of little ones of this later
generation.

"Goody Two Shoes" was published in April 1765, and few nursery books
have had a wider circulation, or have retained their position so long.
The number of editions that have been published both in England and
America is legion, and it has appeared in mutilated versions under the
auspices of numerous publishing houses in London and the provinces,
although of late years there have been no new issues. Even in 1802,
Charles Lamb in writing to Coleridge, said--

 ""Goody Two Shoes" is almost out of print. Mrs Barbauld's stuff has
  banished all the old classics of the nursery, and the shopman at
  Newbery's hardly deigned to reach them off an old exploded corner of
  a shelf, when Mary asked for them. Mrs Barbauld's and Mrs Trimmer's
  nonsense lay in piles about. Knowledge, insignificant and vapid as Mrs
  Barbauld's books convey, it seems must come to a child in the shape of
  knowledge; and his empty noddle must be turned with conceit of his own
  powers when he has learnt that a horse is an animal, and Billy is
  better than a horse, and such like, instead of that beautiful interest
  in wild tales, which made the child a man, while all the time he
  suspected himself to be no bigger than a child. Science has succeeded
  to poetry no less in the little walks of children than with men. Is
  there no possibility of averting this sore evil? Think what you would
  have been now, if instead of being fed with tales and old wives'
  fables in childhood, you had been crammed with geography and natural
  history!

 "Hang them!--I mean the cursed Barbauld crew, those blights and blasts
  of all that is human in man and child."[B]

There must, however, be many parents still living who remember the
delight that the little story gave them in their younger days, and
they will, no doubt, be pleased to see it once more in the form which
was then so familiar to them. The children of to-day, too, will look
on it with some curiosity, on account of the fact that it is one of
the oldest of our nursery tales, and amused and edified their
grand-parents and great grand-parents when they were children, while
they cannot fail to be attracted by its simple, pretty, and
interesting story.

       *       *       *       *       *

The question of the authorship of the book is still an unsettled one.
It was at one time commonly attributed to Oliver Goldsmith, and no one
who reads the book will consider it to be unworthy of the poet's pen.
We find, however, in Nichol's Literary Anecdotes, that

 "It is not perhaps generally known that to Mr Griffith Jones, and a
  brother of his, Mr Giles Jones, in conjunction with Mr John Newbery,
  the public are indebted for the origin of those numerous and popular
  little books for the amusement and instruction of children which have
  been ever since received with universal approbation. The Lilliputian
  histories of Goody Two Shoes, Giles Gingerbread, Tommy Trip, &c., &c.,
  are remarkable proofs of the benevolent minds of the projectors of
  this plan of instruction, and respectable instances of the
  accommodation of superior talents to the feeble intellects of
  infantine felicity."

Mr Giles Jones was the grandfather of the late Mr Winter Jones,
formerly the Principal Librarian of the British Museum, and the book
is attributed to the first-named gentleman in the catalogue of the
British Museum. It is claimed also that the book offers internal
evidence in support of Mr Giles Jones' authorship, inasmuch as Goody
Two Shoes becomes Lady Jones, and one of the prominent families in the
book is also named Jones.

Beyond this, however, there appears to be no evidence as to Mr Giles
Jones being the writer, and I think something may be said as to the
claim on behalf of the poet Goldsmith, although I am by no means
anxious that the honour of having written it should be ascribed either
to the one or to the other: the following remarks, which are mainly
taken from an article I contributed to the _Athenæum_ in April
1881, are offered simply as speculations which may not be without
interest to lovers of the little book. They may, perhaps, show that
there is some reason for attributing the work to Oliver Goldsmith,
although, of course, it is not claimed that they absolutely establish
the fact.

Having occasion to examine carefully as many of the books for children
published by John Newbery as I could procure (and they are as scarce
as blackberries in midwinter, for what among books has so brief a life
as a nursery book?), I was struck while perusing them with a certain
distinct literary flavour, so to speak, which appeared to be common to
a group of little volumes, all published about the same period. These
were: "Goody Two Shoes," "Giles Gingerbread," "Tom Thumb's Folio,"
"The Lilliputian Magazine," "The Lilliputian Masquerade," "The Easter
Gift," "A Pretty Plaything," "The Fairing," "Be Merry and Wise," "The
Valentine's Gift," "Pretty Poems for the Amusement of Children Three
Feet High," "A Pretty Book of Pictures," "Tom Telescope," and a few
others. I give abbreviated titles only, but if space permitted I mould
like to quote them in full; they are remarkable no less for their
curious quaintness and their clever ingenuity than for their
attractiveness to both parents (who, it must not be forgotten, are
more often the real buyers of children's books) and the young people
for whom they were written, and they are in themselves most
entertaining and amusing reading. This group of little books
possesses, moreover, another characteristic that is sufficiently
remarkable of itself to be noticed. While they all evince a real
genius for writing in a style suited to the capacities of little folk,
there is a nameless something about them which, far more than is the
case with thousands of other books for the young, is calculated to
enforce the attention and excite the interest of "children of a larger
growth."

Now one of this little group, "The Lilliputian Magazine," is
attributed in the British Museum Catalogue to Oliver Goldsmith; and so
strong is the family likeness in all the books I have mentioned, that
I cannot but believe they are all by the same hand--a belief which I
think will be shared by any one who will take the trouble to compare
them carefully. But I should advise him to rely on the Newbery
editions alone, for grievously garbled versions of nearly every one of
these books have been issued from many different houses throughout the
country.

Many authorities have supported the view that Goldsmith was the author
of "Goody Two Shoes." Conspicuous among them was Washington Irving,
who says, "It is suggested with great probability that he wrote for Mr
Newbery the famous nursery story of 'Goody Two Shoes.'" It is said
also that William Godwin held this opinion; and I believe there is
authority for stating that the Misses Bewick, the daughters of the
celebrated engraver, who illustrated an edition of the book for T.
Saint, of Newcastle, understood from their father that it was by
Oliver Goldsmith.

But let us turn to the book itself and see if it furnishes any
evidence on the point. The very title, with its quaint phrasing, shows
no common genius, and as Washington Irving says, "bears the stamp of
his [Goldsmith's] sly and playful humour." As the book was published
in 1765, it would most likely have been written just at the time when
Goldsmith was working most industriously in the service of Newbery
(1763-4), at which period it will be remembered that he was living
near Newbery at Islington, and his publisher was paying for his board
and lodging.

Without, of course, claiming that similarity of idea in different
writings necessarily betokens the same authorship, I think the
parallels that are to be found in this little book, with many of the
sentiments in Oliver Goldsmith's acknowledged work--to say nothing of
the almost universally recognized likeness to Goldsmith's style that
is found in "Goody Two Shoes" may fairly be considered as throwing
some light upon the question.

The most striking of these parallels is perhaps that furnished by the
curious little political preface to the work--a preface which is quite
unnecessary to the book, and I think would only have been inserted by
one who was full of the unjustnesses at which he was preparing to aim
a still heavier blow. In describing the parish of Mouldwell, where
little Margery was born, an exact picture is drawn of "The Deserted
Village," where

  One only master grasps the whole domain
  And half a tillage tints thy smiling plain;

And where

  ---- the man of wealth and pride
  Takes up a space that many a poor supplied:
  Space for his lakes his park's extended bounds,
  Space for his horses, equipage, and hounds.

And by this and other tyrannies, and being also

  Scourged by famine from the smiling land,

for he was "unfortunate in his business" at about the same time, Sir
Timothy accomplishes his aim, and

  Indignant spurns the cottage from the green.

Ruined by this oppression, poor Mr Meanwell is turned out of doors,
and flew to another parish for succour.

  Where, then, ah! where shall poverty reside
  To 'scape the pressure of contiguous pride?

Sir Timothy, however, suffers for his injustice and wickedness, for
"great part of the land lay untilled for some years, which was deemed
a just reward for such diabolical proceedings."

  Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey,
  Where wealth accumulates and men decay.

Miss Charlotte Yonge, to whom I shall refer again, lays upon this: "If
the conjecture be true which attributes this tale to Oliver Goldsmith,
we have seen the same spirit which prompted his poem of 'The Deserted
Village,' namely, indignation and dismay at the discouragement of
small holdings in the early part of the eighteenth century."[C]
Indeed, it may well be that we have in this preface even a more true
picture of Lissoy than that given in the poem, which, as Mr William
Black says in his monograph on Goldsmith, "is there seen through the
softening and beautifying mist of years."

Much more might be said of the characteristics of this little book,
which contains so much that reminds us not only of the style but the
matter of many of Goldsmith's writings. Miss Yonge says: "There is a
certain dry humour in some passages and a tenderness in others that
incline us much to the belief that it could come from no one else but
the writer of 'The Vicar of Wakefield' and 'The Deserted Village.'
Indeed, we could almost imagine that Dr Primrose himself had described
the panic at the supposed ghost in the church in the same tone as the
ride to church, the family portrait, or the gross of green
spectacles.'[D] We find in "Goody Two Shoes" every one of those
distinctive qualities of Goldsmith's writings which Mr William Black
so well summarizes in the book already referred to--"his genuine and
tender pathos, that never at any time verges on the affected or
theatrical;" his "quaint, delicate, delightful humour;" his "broader
humour, that is not afraid to provoke the wholesome laughter of
mankind by dealing with common and familiar ways and manners and men;"
his "choiceness of diction;" his "lightness and grace of touch, that
lend a charm even to" his "ordinary hack work."

       *       *       *       *       *

The reprint which is here presented is a photographic facsimile of
the earliest complete copy that we have been able to procure. Judging
from fragments of earlier editions in the possession of the
publishers, it would appear to be printed from exactly the same types
as the original issue of April 1765. The copy from which the reprint
is made was kindly lent to the publishers by Mr Ernest Hartley
Coleridge, whose collection at the South Kensington Museum of
eighteenth century books for children is well known. The actual size
of that book is 4 inches by 2-3/4, but it has been thought better to
print on somewhat larger paper. The original is bound in the once
familiar Dutch flowered and gilt pattern paper, and we had hoped to
present the reprint in a similar cover, but it was found impossible,
as nothing like it could be procured, nor could the manufacturers of
the present day exactly reproduce it.

[Footnote A: Essays from the _Times_. Robert Southey. By Samuel
Phillips, pp. 168-169, vol. i.]

[Footnote B: _See_ "The Works of Charles Lamb." By Percy
Fitzgerald, M.A., F.S.A. Vol. 1. Page 420. London: E. Moxon & Co.,
1876.]

[Footnote C: "A Storehouse of Stories," p. 69, First Series.]

[Footnote D: "A Storehouse of Stories," First Series, preface.]



[Illustration: Little Goody Two-Shoes.]


                                 THE

                               HISTORY

                                  OF

                       Little GOODY TWO-SHOES;

                          Otherwise called,

                       Mrs. MARGERY TWO-SHOES.

                                 WITH

The Means by which she acquired her Learning and Wisdom, and in
consequence thereof her Estate; set forth at large for the Benefit
of those,

 _Who from a State of Rags and Care
  And having Shoes but half a Pair;
  Their Fortune and their Fame would fix,
  And gallop in a Coach and Six._

See the Original Manuscript in the _Vatican_ at _Rome_, and
the Cuts by _Michael Angelo_. Illustrated with the Comments of
our great modern Critics.

                       ------------------------
                          The THIRD EDITION.
                       ------------------------
                              _LONDON_:

              Printed for J. NEWBERY, at the _Bible_ and
               _Sun_ in St._Paul's-Church-Yard,_ 1766.
                          (Price Six-pence.)



                                TO ALL

                     Young Gentlemen and Ladies,

                 Who are good, or intend to be good,

                              This BOOK

                           Is inscribed by

                           Their old Friend

                      In St. Paul's Church-yard.



                             The Renowned

                               HISTORY

                                  OF

                       Little GOODY TWO-SHOES,

                           Commonly called,

                         Old GOODY TWO-SHOES.


                       ------------------------
                               PART I.
                       ------------------------

                     INTRODUCTION. By the Editor.


All the World must allow, that _Two Shoes_ was not her real Name.
No; her Father's Name was _Meanwell_; and he was for many Years a
considerable Farmer in the Parish where _Margery_ was born; but
by the Misfortunes which he met with in Business, and the wicked
Persecutions of Sir _Timothy Gripe_, and an over-grown Farmer
called _Graspall_, he was effectually ruined.

The Case was thus. The Parish of _Mouldwell_ where they lived,
had for many Ages been let by the Lord of the Manor into twelve
different Farms, in which the Tenants lived comfortably, brought up
large Families, and carefully supported the poor People who laboured
for them; until the Estate by Marriage and by Death came into the
Hands of Sir _Timothy_.

This Gentleman, who loved himself better than all his Neighbours,
thought it less Trouble to write one Receipt for his Rent than twelve,
and Farmer _Graspall_ offering to take all the Farms as the Leases
expired, Sir _Timothy_ agreed with him, and in Process of Time he was
possessed of every Farm, but that occupied by little _Margery's_
Father; which he also wanted; for as Mr. _Meanwell_ was a charitable
good Man, he stood up for the Poor at the Parish Meetings, and was
unwilling to have them oppressed by Sir _Timothy_, and this
avaricious Farmer.--Judge, oh kind, humane and courteous Reader, what
a terrible Situation the Poor must be in, when this covetous Man was
perpetual Overseer, and every Thing for their Maintenance was drawn
from his hard Heart and cruel Hand. But he was not only perpetual
Overseer, but perpetual Church-warden; and judge, oh ye Christians,
what State the Church must be in, when supported by a Man without
Religion or Virtue. He was also perpetual Surveyor of the Highways,
and what Sort of Roads he kept up for the Convenience of Travellers,
those best know who have had the Misfortune to be obliged to pass
thro' that Parish.--Complaints indeed were made, but to what Purpose
are Complaints, when brought against a Man, who can hunt, drink, and
smoak with the Lord of the Manor, who is also the Justice of Peace?

The Opposition which little _Margery's_ Father made to this Man's
Tyranny, gave Offence to Sir _Timothy_, who endeavoured to force
him out of his Farm; and to oblige him to throw up the Lease, ordered
both a Brick Kiln and a Dog-kennel to be erected in the Farmer's
Orchard. This was contrary to Law, and a Suit was commenced, in which
_Margery's_ Father got the better. The same Offence was again
committed three different Times, and as many Actions brought, in all
of which the Farmer had a Verdict and Costs paid him; but
notwithstanding these Advantages, the Law was so expensive, that he
was ruined in the Contest, and obliged to give up all he had to his
Creditors; which effectually answered the Purpose of Sir
_Timothy_, who erected those Nuisances in the Farmer's Orchard
with that Intention only. Ah, my dear Reader, we brag of Liberty, and
boast of our Laws: but the Blessings of the one, and the Protection of
the other, seldom fall to the Lot of the Poor; and especially when a
rich Man is their Adversary. How, in the Name of Goodness, can a poor
Wretch obtain Redress, when thirty Pounds are insufficient to try his
Cause? Where is he to find Money to see Council, or how can he plead
his Cause himself (even if he was permitted) when our Laws are so
obscure, and so multiplied, that an Abridgment of them cannot be
contained in fifty Volumes in Folio?

As soon as Mr. _Meanwell_ had called together his Creditors, Sir
_Timothy_ seized for a Year's Rent, and turned the Farmer, his
Wife, little _Margery_, and her Brother out of Doors, without any
of the Necessaries of Life to support them.

[Illustration]

This elated the Heart of Mr. _Graspall_, this crowned his Hopes,
and filled the Measure of his Iniquity; for besides gratifying his
Revenge, this Man's Overthrow gave him the sole Dominion of the Poor,
whom he depressed and abused in a Manner too horrible to mention.

_Margery's_ Father flew into another Parish for Succour, and all
those who were able to move left their Dwellings and sought Employment
elsewhere, as they found it would be impossible to live under the
Tyranny of two such People. The very old, the very lame and the blind
were obliged to stay behind, and whether they were starved, or what
became of them, History does not say; but the Character of the great
Sir _Timothy_, and his avaricious Tenant, were so infamous, that
nobody would work for them by the Day, and Servants were afraid to
engage themselves by the Year, lest any unforeseen Accident should
leave them Parishioners in a Place, where they knew they must perish
miserably; so that great Part of the Land lay untilled for some Years,
which was deemed a just Reward for such diabolical Proceedings.

But what, says the Reader, can occasion all this? Do you intend this
for Children, Mr. NEWBERY? Why, do you suppose this is written by Mr.
NEWBERY, Sir? This may come from another Hand. This is not the Book,
Sir, mentioned in the Title, but the Introduction to that Book; and it
is intended, Sir, not for those Sort of Children, but for Children of
six Feet high, of which, as my Friend has justly observed, there are
many Millions in the Kingdom; and these Reflections, Sir, have been
rendered necessary, by the unaccountable and diabolical Scheme which
many Gentlemen now give into, of laying a Number of Farms into one,
and very often of a whole Parish into one Farm; which in the End must
reduce the common People to a State of Vassalage, worse than that
under the Barons of old, or of the Clans in _Scotland_; and will
in Time depopulate the Kingdom. But as you are tired of the Subject, I
shall take myself away, and you may visit _Little Margery_. So,
Sir, your Servant,

The EDITOR.



                               CHAP. I.

     _How and about Little_ Margery _and her_ Brother.


Care and Discontent shortened the Days of Little _Margery's_
Father.--He was forced from his Family, and seized with a violent
Fever in a Place where Dr. _James's_ Powder was not to be had,
and where he died miserably. _Margery's_ poor Mother survived the
Loss of her Husband but a few Days, and died of a broken Heart,
leaving _Margery_ and her little Brother to the wide World; but,
poor Woman, it would have melted your Heart to have seen how
frequently she heaved up her Head, while she lay speechless, to survey
with languishing Looks her little Orphans, as much as to say, _Do
Tommy, do Margery, come with me_. They cried, poor Things, and she
sighed away her Soul; and I hope is happy.

[Illustration]

It would both have excited your Pity, and have done your Heart good,
to have seen how fond these two little ones were of each other, and
how, Hand in Hand, they trotted about. Pray see them.

[Illustration]

They were both very ragged, and _Tommy_ had two Shoes, but
_Margery_ had but one. They had nothing, poor Things, to support
them (not being in their own Parish) but what they picked from the
Hedges, or got from the poor People, and they lay every Night in a
Barn. Their Relations took no Notice of them; no, they were rich, and
ashamed to own such a poor little ragged Girl as _Margery_, and
such a dirty little curl-pated Boy as _Tommy_. Our Relations and
Friends seldom take Notice of us when we are poor; but as we grow rich
they grow fond. And this will always be the Case, while People love
Money better than Virtue, or better than they do GOD Almighty. But
such wicked Folks, who love nothing but Money, and are proud and
despise the Poor, never come to any good in the End, as we shall see
by and by.



                              CHAP. II.

                   _How and about Mr._ Smith.


Mr. _Smith_ was a very worthy Clergyman, who lived in the Parish
where Little _Margery_ and _Tommy_ were born; and having a
Relation come to see him, who was a charitable good Man, he sent for
these Children to him. The Gentleman ordered Little _Margery_ a
new Pair of Shoes, gave Mr. _Smith_ some Money to buy her
Cloathes; and said, he would take _Tommy_ and make him a little
Sailor; and accordingly had a Jacket and Trowsers made for him, in
which he now appears. Pray look at him.

[Illustration]

After some Days the Gentleman intended to go to _London_, and
take little _Tommy_ with him, of whom you will know more by and
by, for we shall at a proper Time present you with some Part of his
History, his Travels and Adventures.

[Illustration]

The Parting between these two little Children was very affecting,
_Tommy_ cried, and _Margery_ cried, and they kissed each
other an hundred Times. At last _Tommy_ thus wiped off her Tears
with the End of his Jacket, and bid her cry no more, for that he would
come to her again, when he returned from Sea. However, as they were so
very fond, the Gentleman would not suffer them to take Leave of each
other; but told _Tommy_ he should ride out with him, and come
back at Night. When night came, Little _Margery_ grew very uneasy
about her Brother, and after sitting up as late as Mr. _Smith_
would let her, she went crying to Bed.



                              CHAP. III.

         _How Little_ Margery _obtained the Name of_
        Goody Two-Shoes, _and what happened in the Parish._


As soon as Little _Margery_ got up in the Morning, which was very
early, she ran all round the Village, crying for her Brother; and
after some Time returned greatly distressed. However, at this Instant,
the Shoemaker very opportunely came in with the new Shoes, for which
she had been measured by the Gentleman's Order.

[Illustration]

Nothing could have supported Little _Margery_ under the
Affliction she was in for the Loss of her Brother, but the Pleasure
she took in her _two Shoes_. She ran out to Mrs. _Smith_ as
soon as they were put on, and stroking down her ragged Apron thus,
cried out, _Two Shoes, Mame, see two Shoes_. And so she behaved
to all the People she met, and by that Means obtained the Name of
_Goody Two-Shoes_, though her Playmates called her _Old Goody
Two-Shoes_.

Little _Margery_ was very happy in being with Mr. and Mrs.
_Smith_, who were very charitable and good to her, and had agreed
to breed her up with their Family; but as soon as that Tyrant of the
Parish, that _Graspall_, heard of her being there, he applied
first to Mr. _Smith_, and threatened to reduce his Tythes if he
kept her; and after that he spoke to Sir _Timothy_, who sent Mr.
_Smith_ a peremptory Message by his Servant, that _he should
send back_ Meanwell's _Girl to be kept by her Relations, and not
harbour her in the Parish_. This so distressed Mr. _Smith_
that he shed Tears, and cried, _Lord have Mercy on the Poor!_

The Prayers of the Righteous fly upwards, and reach unto the Throne of
Heaven, as will be seen in the Sequel.

[Illustration]

Mrs. _Smith_ was also greatly concerned at being thus obliged to
discard poor Little _Margery_. She kissed her and cried; as also
did Mr. _Smith_, but they were obliged to send her away; for the
People who had ruined her Father could at any Time have ruined them.



                              CHAP. IV.

            _How Little_ Margery _learned to read,
                  and by Degrees taught others._


Little _Margery_ saw how good, and how wise Mr. _Smith_ was,
and concluded, that this was owing to his great Learning, therefore
she wanted of all Things to learn to read. For this Purpose she used
to meet the little Boys and Girls as they came from School, borrow
their Books, and sit down and read till they returned;

[Illustration]

By this Means she soon got more Learning than any of her Playmates,
and laid the following Scheme for instructing those who were more
ignorant than herself. She found, that only the following Letters were
required to spell all the Words in the World; but as some of these
Letters are large and some small, she with her Knife cut out of
several Pieces of Wood ten Setts of each of these:

                    a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o
                    p q r  (s)  s t u v w x y z.

[Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminating
letter "s".]

                       And six Setts of these:

                     A B C D E F G H I K L M N O
                        P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

And having got an old Spelling-Book, she made her Companions set up
all the Words they wanted to spell, and after that she taught them to
compose Sentences. You know what a Sentence is, my Dear, _I will be
good_, is a Sentence; and is made up, as you see, of several Words.

The usual Manner of Spelling, or carrying on the Game, as they called
it, was this: Suppose the Word to be spelt was Plumb Pudding (and who
can suppose a better) the Children were placed in a Circle, and the
first brought the Letter _P_, the next _l_, the next _u_, the next
_m_, and so on till the Whole was spelt; and if any one brought a
wrong Letter, he was to pay a Fine, or play no more. This was at their
Play; and every Morning she used to go round to teach the Children
with these Rattle-traps in a Basket, as you see in the Print.

[Illustration]

I once went her Rounds with her, and was highly diverted, as you may
be, if you please to look into the next Chapter.



                               CHAP. V.

       _How Little_ Two-Shoes _became a trotting Tutoress
                and how she taught her young Pupils._


It was about seven o'Clock in the Morning when we set out on this
important Business, and the first House we came to was Farmer
_Wilson's_. See here it is.

[Illustration]

Here _Margery_ stopped, and ran up to the Door, _Tap, tap, tap_. Who's
there? Only little goody _Two-Shoes_, answered _Margery_, come to
teach _Billy_. Oh Little _Goody_, says Mrs. _Wilson_, with Pleasure in
her Face, I am glad to see you, _Billy_ wants you sadly, for he has
learned all his Lesson. Then out came the little Boy. _How do doody
Two-Shoes_, says he, not able to speak plain. Yet this little Boy had
learned all his Letters; for she threw down this Alphabet mixed
together thus:

                    b d f h k m o q s u w y z [f]
                    a c e g i l n p r t v x j

and he picked them up, called them by their right Names, and put them
all in order thus:

                    a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o
                    p q r  (s)  s t u v w x y z.

[Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminating
letter "s".]

She then threw down the Alphabet of Capital Letters in the Manner you
here see them.

                      B D F H K M O Q S U W Y Z
                      A C E G I L N P R T V X J.

and he picked them all up, and having told their Names, placed them
thus:

                      A B C D E F G H I J K L M
                      N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

Now, pray little Reader, take this Bodkin, and see if you can point
out the Letters from these mixed Alphabets, and tell how they should
be placed as well as little Boy _Billy_.

The next Place we came to was Farmer _Simpson's_, and here it is.

[Illustration]

_Bow wow, wow_, says the Dog at the Door. Sirrah, says his
Mistress, what do you bark at Little _Two-Shoes_. Come in
_Madge_; here, _Sally_ wants you sadly, she has learned all
her Lesson. Then out came the little one: So _Madge!_ say she; so
_Sally!_ answered the other, have you learned your Lesson? Yes,
that's what I have, replied the little one in the Country Manner; and
immediately taking the Letters she set up these Syllables:

                    ba be bi bo bu, ca ce ci co cu
                    da de di do du, fa fe fi so fu.

and gave them their exact Sounds as she composed them; after which she
set up the following;

                    ac ec ic oc uc, ad ed id od ud
                    af ef if of uf, ag eg ig og ug.

And pronounced them likewise. She then sung the Cuzz's Chorus (which
may be found in the _Little Pretty Play Thing_, published by Mr.
NEWBERY) and to the same Tune to which it is there set.

After this, Little _Two-Shoes_ taught her to spell Words of one
Syllable, and she soon set up Pear, Plumb. Top, Ball, Pin, Puss, Dog,
Hog, Fawn, Buck, Doe, Lamb, Sheep, Ram, Cow, Bull, Cock, Hen, and many
more.

The next Place we came to was _Gaffer Cook's_ Cottage; there you
see it before you.

[Illustration]

Here a number of poor Children were met to learn; who all came round
Little _Margery_ at once; and, having pulled out her Letters, she
asked the little Boy next her, what he had for Dinner? Who answered,
_Bread_. (the poor Children in many Places live very hard) Well
then, says she, set the first Letter. He put up the Letter B, to which
the next added r, and the next e, the next a, the next d, and it stood
thus, _Bread_.

And what had you _Polly Comb_ for your Dinner? _Apple-pye_
answered the little Girl: Upon which the next in Turn set up a great
A, the two next a p each, and so on till the two Words Apple and Pye
were united and stood thus, _Apple-pye_.

The next had _Potatoes_, the next _Beef and Turnip_ which
were spelt with many others, till the Game of Spelling was finished.
She then set them another Task, and we proceeded.

The next Place we came to was Farmer _Thompson's_, where there
were a great many little ones waiting for her.

So little Mrs. _Goody Two-Shoes_, says one of them, where have
you been so long? I have been teaching, says she, longer than I
intended, and am afraid I am come too soon for you now. No, but indeed
you are not, replied the other; for I have got my Lesson, and so has
_Sally Dawson_, and so has _Harry Wilson_, and so we have
all; and they capered about as if they were overjoyed to see her. Why
then, says she, you are all very good, and GOD Almighty will love you;
so let us begin our Lessons. They all huddled round her, and though at
the other Place they were employed about Words and Syllables, here we
had People of much greater Understanding who dealt only in Sentences.

The Letters being brought upon the Table, one of the little ones set
up the following Sentence.

_The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may be always good,
and say my Prayers, and love the Lord my God with all my Heart, with
all my Soul, and with all my Strength; and honour the King, and all
good Men in Authority under him._

Then the next took the Letters, and composed this Sentence.

_Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may love my Neighbour as
myself, and do unto all Men as I would have them do unto me, and tell
no Lies; but be honest and just in all my Dealings._

The third composed the following Sentence.

_The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may honour my Father
and Mother, and love my Brothers and Sisters, Relations and Friends,
and all my Playmates, and every Body, and endeavour to make them
happy._

The fourth composed the following.

_I pray_ GOD _to bless this whole Company, and all our Friends,
and all our Enemies._

To this last _Polly Sullen_ objected, and said, truly, she did
not know why she should pray for her Enemies? Not pray for your
Enemies, says Little _Margery_; yes, you must, you are no
Christian, if you don't forgive your Enemies, and do Good for Evil.
_Polly_ still pouted; upon which Little _Margery_ said,
though she was poor, and obliged to lie in a Barn, she would not keep
Company with such a naughty, proud, perverse Girl as _Polly_; and
was going away; however the Difference was made up, and she set them
to compose the following

  LESSONS

  For the CONDUCT of LIFE.

  LESSON I.

  He that will thrive,
  Must rise by Five.
  He that hath thriv'n,
  May lie till Seven.
  Truth may be blam'd,
  But cannot be sham'd.
  Tell me with whom you go;
  And I'll tell what you do.
  A Friend in your Need,
  Is a Friend indeed.
  They ne'er can be wise,
  Who good Counsel despise.

  LESSON II.

  A wise Head makes a close Mouth.
  Don't burn your Lips with another Man's Broth.
  Wit is Folly, unless a wise Man hath the keeping of it.
  Use soft Words and hard Arguments.
  Honey catches more Flies than Vinegar.
  To forget a Wrong is the best Revenge.
  Patience is a Plaister for all Sores.
  Where Pride goes, Shame will follow.
  When Vice enters the Room, Vengeance is near the Door.
  Industry is Fortune's right Hand, and Frugality her left.
  Make much of Three-pence, or you ne'er will be worth a Groat.

  LESSON III.

  A Lie stands upon one Leg, but Truth upon two.
  When a Man talks much, believe but half what he says.
  Fair Words butter no Parsnips.
  Bad Company poisons the Mind.
  A covetous Man is never satisfied.
  Abundance, like Want, ruins many.
  Contentment is the best Fortune.
  A contented Mind is a continual Feast.

  A LESSON in Religion.

  Love GOD, for he is good.
  Fear GOD, for he is just.
  Pray to GOD, for all good Things come from him.
  Praise GOD, for great is his Mercy towards us, and wonderful
    are all his Works.
  Those who strive to be good, have GOD on their Side.
  Those who have GOD for their Friend, shall want nothing.
  Confess your Sins to GOD, and if you repent he will forgive you.
  Remember that all you do, is done in the Presence of GOD.
  The Time will come, my Friends, when we must give
  Account to GOD, how we on Earth did live.

  A Moral LESSON.

  A good Boy will make a good Man.
  Honour your Parents, and the World will honour you.
  Love your Friends, and your Friends will love you.
  He that swims in Sin, will sink in Sorrow.
  Learn to live, as you would wish to die.
    As you expect all Men should deal by you:
    So deal by them, and give each Man his Due.

As we were returning Home, we saw a Gentleman, who was very ill,
sitting under a shady Tree at the Corner of his Rookery. Though ill,
he began to joke with Little _Margery_, and said, laughingly, so,
_Goody Two-Shoes_, they tell me you are a cunning little Baggage;
pray, can you tell me what I shall do to get well? Yes, Sir, says she,
go to Bed when your Rooks do. You see they are going to Rest already:

[Illustration]

Do you so likewise, and get up with them in the morning; earn, as they
do, every Day what you eat, and eat and drink no more than you earn;
and you'll get Health and keep it. What should induce the Rooks to
frequent Gentlemens Houses only, but to tell them how to lead a
prudent Life? They never build over Cottages or Farm-houses, because
they see, that these People know how to live without their Admonition.

  _Thus Health and Wit you may improve,
  Taught by the Tenants of the Grove._

The Gentleman laughing gave _Margery_ Sixpence; and told her she
was a sensible Hussey.



                              CHAP. VI.

              _How the whole Parish was frighted._


Who does not know Lady _Ducklington_, or who does not know that
she was buried at this Parish Church?

[Illustration]

Well, I never saw so grand a Funeral in all my Life; but the Money
they squandered away, would have been better laid out in little Books
for Children, or in Meat, Drink, and Cloaths for the Poor.

This if a fine Hearse indeed, and the nodding Plumes on the Horses
look very grand; but what End does that answer, otherwise than to
display the Pride of the Living, or the Vanity of the Dead. Fie upon
such Folly, say I, and Heaven grant that those who want more Sense may
have it.

[Illustration]

But all the Country round came to see the Burying, and it was late
before the Corpse was interred. After which, in the Night, or rather
about Four o'Clock in the Morning, the Bells were heard to jingle in
the Steeple, which frightened the People prodigiously, who all thought
it was Lady _Ducklington_'s Ghost dancing among the Bell-ropes.
The People flocked to _Will Dobbins_ the Clerk, and wanted him to
go and see what it was; but _William_ said, he was sure it was a
Ghost, and that he would not offer to open the Door. At length Mr.
_Long_ the Rector, hearing such an Uproar in the Village, went to
the Clerk, to know why he did not go into the Church; and see who was
there. I go, Sir, says _William_, why the Ghost would frighten me
out of my Wits.--Mrs. _Dobbins_ too cried, and laying hold of her
Husband said, he should not be eat up by the Ghost. A Ghost, you
Blockheads, says Mr. _Long_ in a Pet, did either of you ever see
a Ghost, or know any Body that did? Yes, says the Clerk, my Father did
once in the Shape of a Windmill, and it walked all round the Church in
a white Sheet, with Jack Boots on, and had a Gun by its Side instead
of a Sword. A fine Picture of a Ghost truly, says Mr. _Long_,
give me the Key of the Church, you Monkey; for I tell you there is no
such Thing now, whatever may have been formerly.--Then taking the Key,
he went to the Church, all the people following him. As soon as he had
opened the Door, what Sort of a Ghost do ye think appeared? Why Little
_Two-Shoes_, who being weary, had fallen asleep in one of the
Pews during the Funeral Service, and was shut in all Night. She
immediately asked Mr. _Long_'s Pardon for the Trouble she had
given him, told him, she had been locked into the Church, and said,
she should not have rung the Bells, but that she was very cold, and
hearing Farmer _Boult_'s Man go whistling by with his Horses, she
was in Hopes he would have went to the Clerk for the Key to let her
out.

[Illustration]



                               CHAP. VII.

              _Containing an Account of all the Spirits,
                 or Ghosts, she saw in the Church._


The People were ashamed to ask Little _Madge_ any Questions
before Mr. _Long_, but as soon as he was gone, they all got round
her to satisfy their Curiousity, and desired she would give them a
particular Account of all that she had heard and seen.

                              Her TALE.

I went to the Church, said she, as most of you did last Night, to see
the Burying, and being very weary, I sate me down in Mr.
_Jones_'s Pew, and fell fast asleep. At Eleven of the Clock I
awoke; which I believe was in some measure occasioned by the Clock's
striking, for I heard it. I started up, and could not at first tell
where I was; but after some Time I recollected the Funeral, and soon
found that I was shut in the Church. It was dismal dark, and I could
see nothing; but while I was standing in the Pew, something jumped up
upon me behind, and laid, as I thought, its Hands over my
Shoulders.--I own, I was a little afraid at first; however, I
considered that I had always been constant at Prayers and at Church,
and that I had done nobody any Harm, but had endeavoured to do what
Good I could; and then, thought I, what have I to fear? yet I kneeled
down to say my Prayers. As soon as I was on my Knees something very
cold, as cold as Marble, ay, as cold as Ice, touched my Neck, which
made me start; however, I continued my Prayers, and having begged
Protection from Almighty GOD, I found my Spirits come, and I was
sensible that I had nothing to fear; for GOD Almighty protects not
only all those who are good, but also all those who endeavour to be
good.--Nothing can withstand the Power, and exceed the Goodness of GOD
Almighty. Armed with the Confidence of his Protection, I walked down
the Church Isle, when I heard something, pit pat, pit pat, pit pat,
come after me, and something touched my Hand, which seemed as cold as
a Marble Monument. I could not think what this was, yet I knew it
could not hurt me, and therefore I made myself easy, but being very
cold, and the Church being paved with Stone, which was very damp, I
felt my Way as well as I could to the Pulpit, in doing which something
brushed by me, and almost threw me down. However I was not frightened,
for I knew, that GOD Almighty would suffer nothing to hurt me.

At last, I found out the Pulpit, and having shut too the Door, I laid
me down on the Mat and Cushion to sleep; when something thrust and
pulled the Door, as I thought for Admittance, which prevented my going
to sleep. At last it cries, _Bow, wow, wow_; and I concluded it
must be Mr. _Saunderson_'s Dog, which had followed me from their
House to Church, so I opened the Door, and called _Snip, Snip_,
and the Dog jumped up upon me immediately. After this _Snip_ and
I lay down together, and had a most comfortable Nap; for when I awoke
again it was almost light. I then walked up and down all the Isles of
the Church to keep myself warm; and though I went into the Vault, and
trod on Lady _Ducklington's_ Coffin, I saw no Ghost, and I
believe it was owing to the Reason Mr. _Long_ has given you,
namely, that there is no such Thing to be seen. As to my Part, I would
as soon lie all Night in the Church as in any other Place; and I am
sure that any little Boy or Girl, who is good, and loves GOD Almighty,
and keeps his Commandments, may as safely lie in the Church, or the
Church-yard, as any where else, if they take Care not to get Cold; for
I am sure there are no Ghosts, either to hurt, or to frighten them;
though any one possessed of Fear might have taken Neighbour
_Saunderson_'s Dog with his cold Nose for a Ghost; and if they
had not been undeceived, as I was, would never have thought otherwise.
All the Company acknowledged the Justness of the Observation, and
thanked Little _Two-Shoes_ for her Advice.

                             REFLECTION.

After this, my dear Children, I hope you will not believe any foolish
Stories that ignorant, weak, or designing People may tell you about
_Ghosts_; for the Tales of _Ghosts_, _Witches_, and _Fairies_, are the
Frolicks of a distempered Brain. No wise Man ever saw either of them.
Little _Margery_ you see was not afraid; no, she had _good Sense_,
and a _good Conscience_, which is a Cure for all these imaginary
Evils.



                             CHAP. VIII.

          _Of something which happened to Little_ Two-Shoes_
        in a Barn, more dreadful than the Ghost in the Church;
    and how she returned Good for Evil to her Enemy Sir_ Timothy.


Some Days after this a more dreadful Accident befel Little _Madge_.
She happened to be coming late from teaching, when it rained,
thundered, and lightened, and therefore she took Shelter in a Farmer's
Barn at a Distance from the Village. Soon after, the Tempest drove in
four Thieves, who, not seeing such a little creep-mouse Girl as
_Two-Shoes_, lay down on the Hay next to her, and began to talk over
their Exploits, and to settle Plans for future Robberies. Little
_Margery_ on hearing them, covered herself with Straw. To be sure she
was sadly frighted, but her good Sense taught her, that the only
Security she had was in keeping herself concealed; therefore she laid
very still, and breathed very softly. About Four o'Clock these wicked
People came to a Resolution to break both Sir _William Dove's_ House,
and Sir _Timothy Gripe's_, and by Force of Arms to carry off all their
Money, Plate and Jewels; but as it was thought then too late, they
agreed to defer it till the next Night. After laying this Scheme they
all set out upon their Pranks, which greatly rejoiced _Margery_, as it
would any other little Girl in her Situation. Early in the Morning she
went to Sir _William_, and told him the whole of their Conversation.
Upon which, he asked her Name, gave her Something, and bid her call at
his House the Day following. She also went to Sir _Timothy_
notwithstanding standing he had used her so ill; for she knew it was
her Duty to _do Good for Evil_. As soon as he was informed who she
was, he took no Notice of her; upon which she desired to speak to Lady
_Gripe_; and having informed her Ladyship of the Affair, she went her
Way. This Lady had more Sense than her Husband, which indeed is not a
singular Case; for instead of despising Little _Margery_ and her
Information, she privately set People to guard the House. The Robbers
divided themselves, and went about the Time mentioned to both Houses,
and were surprized by the Guards, and taken. Upon examining these
Wretches, one of which turned Evidence, both Sir _William_ and Sir
_Timothy_ found that they owed their Lives to the Discovery made by
Little _Margery_, and the first took great Notice of her, and would no
longer let her lie in a Barn; but Sir _Timothy_ only said, that he was
ashamed to owe his Life to the Daughter of one who was his Enemy; so
true it is, _that a proud Man seldom forgives those he has injured_.

[Illustration]



                              CHAP. IX.

                    _How Little_ Margery _was made
                   Principal of a Country College._


Mrs. _Williams_, of whom I have given a particular Account in my _New
Year's Gift_, and who kept a College for instructing little Gentlemen
and Ladies in the Science of A, B, C, was at this Time very old and
infirm, and wanted to decline that important Trust. This being told to
Sir _William Dove_, who lived in the Parish, he sent for Mrs.
_Williams_, and desired she would examine Little _Two-Shoes_, and see
whether she was qualified for the Office.----This was done, and Mrs.
_Williams_ made the following Report in her Favour, namely, _that
Little_ Margery _was the best Scholar, and had the best Head, and the
best Heart of any one she had examined_. All the Country had a great
Opinion of Mrs. _Williams_, and this Character gave them also a great
Opinion of Mrs. _Margery_; for so we must now call her.

This Mrs. _Margery_ thought the happiest Period of her Life; but
more Happiness was in Store for her. GOD Almighty heaps up Blessings
for all those who love him, and though for a Time he may suffer them
to be poor and distressed, and hide his good Purposes from human
Sight, yet in the End they are generally crowned with Happiness
here, and no one can doubt of their being so hereafter.

On this Occasion the following Hymn, or rather a Translation of the
twenty-third Psalm, is said to have been written, and was soon after
published in the _Spectator_.

  I.

  The Lord my Pasture shall prepare,
  And feed me with a Shepherd's Care:
  His Presence shall my Wants supply,
  And guard me with a watchful Eye;
  My Noon-day Walks he shall attend,
  And all my Midnight Hours defend.

  II.

  When in the sultry Glebe I faint,
  Or on the thirsty Mountain pant;
  To fertile Vales and dewy Meads,
  My weary wand'ring Steps he leads;
  Where peaceful Rivers, soft and slow,
  Amid the verdant Landskip flow.

  III.

  Tho' in the Paths of Death I tread,
  With gloomy Horrors overspread,
  My stedfast Heart shall fear no ill,
  For thou, O Lord, art with me still;
  Thy friendly Crook shall give me Aid,
  And guide me thro' the dreadful Shade.

                                 IV.

  Tho' in a bare and rugged Way,
  Thro' devious lonely Wilds I stray,
  Thy Bounty shall my Pains beguile:
  The barren Wilderness shall smile,
  With sudden Greens & herbage crown'd,
  And Streams shall murmur all around.

Here ends the History of Little _Two Shoes_. Those who would know
how she behaved after she came to be Mrs. _Margery Two-Shoes_
must read the Second Part of this Work, in which an Account of the
Remainder of her Life, her Marriage, and Death are set forth at large,
according to Act of Parliament.



                         ====================


                             The Renowned

                               HISTORY

                                  OF

                       Mrs. MARGERY TWO-SHOES.


                         --------------------
                               PART II.
                         --------------------


                            INTRODUCTION.


In the first Part of this Work, the young Student has read, and I hope
with Pleasure and Improvement, the History of this Lady, while she was
known and distinguished by the Name of _Little Two-Shoes_; we are
now come to a Period of her Life when that Name was discarded, and a
more eminent one bestowed upon her, I mean I mean that of Mrs.
_Margery Two-Shoes_: For as she was now President of the A, B, C
College, it became necessary to exalt her in Title as well as in
Place.


No sooner was she settled in this Office, but she laid every possible
Scheme to promote the Welfare and Happiness of all her Neighbours, and
especially of the Little Ones, in whom she took great Delight, and all
those whose Parents could not afford to pay for their Education, she
taught for nothing, but the Pleasure she had in their Company, for you
are to observe, that they were very good, or were soon made so by her
good Management.



                              CHAP. I.

              _Of her School, her Ushers, or Assistants,
                    and her Manner of Teaching._


We have already informed the Reader, that the School where she taught,
was that which was before kept by Mrs. _Williams_, whose
Character you may find in my _New Year's Gift_. The Room was
large, and as she knew, that Nature intended Children should be always
in Action, she placed her different Letters, or Alphabets, all round
the School, so that every one was obliged to get up to fetch a Letter,
or to spell a Word, when it came to their Turn; which not only kept
them in Health, but fixed the Letters and Points firmly in their
Minds.

She had the following Assistants or Ushers to help her, and I will
tell you how she came by them. Mrs. _Margery_, you must know, was
very humane and compassionate; and her Tenderness extended not only to
all Mankind, but even to all Animals that were not noxious; as your's
ought to do, if you would be happy here, and go to Heaven hereafter.
These are GOD Almighty's Creatures as well as we. He made both them
and us; and for wise Purposes, best known to himself, placed them in
this World to live among us; so that they are our fellow Tenants of
the Globe. How then can People dare to torture and wantonly destroy
GOD Almighty's Creatures? They as well as you are capable of feeling
Pain, and of receiving Pleasure, and how can you, who want to be made
happy yourself, delight in making your fellow Creatures miserable? Do
you think the poor Birds, whose Nest and young ones that wicked Boy
_Dick Wilson_ ran away with Yesterday, do not feel as much Pain,
as your Father and Mother would have felt, had any one pulled down
their House and ran away with you? To be sure they do. Mrs.
_Two-Shoes_ used to speak of those Things, and of naughty Boys
throwing at Cocks, torturing Flies, and whipping Horses and Dogs, with
Tears in her Eyes, and would never suffer any one to come to her
School who did so.

One Day, as she was going through the next Village, she met with some
wicked Boys who had got a young Raven, which they were going to throw
at, she wanted to get the poor Creature out of their cruel Hands, and
therefore gave them a Penny for him, and brought him home. She called
his Name _Ralph_, and a fine Bird he is. Do look at him and remember
what _Solomon_ says, _The Eye that despiseth his Father, and regardeth
not the Distress of his Mother, the Ravens of the Valley shall peck it
out, and the young Eagles eat it._ Now this Bird she taught to speak,
to spell and to read; and as he was particularly fond of playing with
the large Letters, the Children used to call this _Ralph_'a Alphabet.

                      A B C D E F G H I J K L M
                      N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

He always sat at her Elbow, as you see in the first Picture, and when
any of the Children were wrong, she used to call out, _Put them
right Ralph_, and a fine bird he is.  Do look at him.

[Illustration]

Some Days after she had met with the Raven, as she was walking in the
Fields, she saw some naughty Boys, who had taken a Pidgeon, and tied a
String to its Leg, in order to let it fly, and draw it back again when
they pleased; and by this Means they tortured the poor Animal with the
Hopes of Liberty and repeated Disappointment. This Pidgeon she also
bought, and taught him how to spell and read, though not to talk, and
he performed all those extraordinary Things which are recorded of the
famous Bird, that was some Time since advertised in the
_Haymarket_, and visited by most of the great People in the
Kingdom. This Pidgeon was a very pretty Fellow, and she called him
_Tom_. See here he is.

[Illustration]

And as the Raven _Ralph_ was fond of the large Letters,
_Tom_ the Pidgeon took Care of the small ones, of which he
composed this Alphabet.

                      a b c d e f g h i j k l m
                      n o p q r s t u v w x y z.

The Neighbours knowing that Mrs. _Two Shoes_ was very good, as to
be sure nobody was better, made her a Present of a little Sky-lark,
and a fine Bird he is.

[Illustration]

Now as many People, even at that Time had learned to lie in Bed long
in the Morning, she thought the Lark might be of Use to her and her
Pupils, and tell them when to get up.

_For be that is fond of his Bed, and lays 'till Noon, lives but half
his Days, the rest being lost in Sleep, which is a Kind of Death_.

Some Time after this a poor Lamb had lost its Dam, and the Farmer
being about to kill it, she bought it of him, and brought it home with
her to play with the Children, and teach them when to go to Bed; for
it was a Rule with the wise Men of that Age (and a very good one, let
me tell you) to

  _Rise with the Lark, and lie down with the Lamb._

This Lamb she called _Will_, and a pretty Fellow he is; do, look
at him.

[Illustration]

No sooner was _Tippy_ the Lark and _Will_ the Ba-lamb
brought into the School, but that sensible Rogue _Ralph_, the
Raven, composed the following Verse, which every little good Boy and
Girl should get by Heart.

  _Early to Bed, and early to rise;
  Is the Way to be healthy, and wealthy, and wise_.

A sly Rogue; but it is true enough; for those who do not go to Bed
early cannot rise early; and those who do not rise early cannot do
much Business. Pray, let this be told at the Court, and to People who
have Routs and Rackets.

Soon after this, a Present was made to Mrs. _Margery_ of little
Dog _Jumper_, and a pretty Dog he is. Pray, look at him.

[Illustration]

_Jumper, Jumper, Jumper!_ He is always in a good Humour, and
playing and jumping about, and therefore he was called _Jumper_.
The Place assigned for _Jumper_ was that of keeping the Door, so
that he may be called the Porter of the College, for he would let
nobody go out, or any one come in, without the Leave of his Mistress.
See how he sits, a saucy Rogue.

_Billy_ the Ba-lamb was a chearful Fellow, and all the Children
were fond of him, wherefore Mrs. _Two-Shoes_ made it a Rule, that
those who behaved best should have _Will_ home with them at Night
to carry their Satchel or Basket at his Back, and bring it in the
Morning. See what a fine Fellow he is, and how he trudges along.



                              CHAP. II.

              _A Scene of Distress; in the School_.


It happened one Day, when Mrs. _Two-Shoes_ was diverting the
Children after Dinner, as she usually did with some innocent Games, or
entertaining and instructive Stories, that a Man arrived with the
melancholy News of _Sally Jones's_ Father being thrown from his
Horse, and thought past all Recovery; nay, the Messenger said, that he
was seemingly dying, when he came away. Poor _Sally_ was greatly
distressed, as indeed were all the School, for she dearly loved her
Father, and Mrs. _Two-Shoes_, and all the Children dearly loved
her. It is generally said, that we never know the real Value of our
Parents or Friends till we have lost them; but poor _Sally_ felt
this by Affection, and her Mistress knew it by Experience. All the
School were in Tears, and the Messenger was obliged to return; but
before he went, Mrs. _Two-Shoes_, unknown to the Children,
ordered _Tom_ Pidgeon to go home with the Man, and bring a Letter
to inform her how Mr. _Jones_ did. They set out together, and the
Pidgeon rode on the Man's Head, (as you see here) for the Man was able
to carry the Pidgeon, though the Pidgeon was not able to carry the
Man, if he had, they would have been there much sooner, for _Tom_
Pidgeon was _very good_, and never staid on an Errand.

[Illustration]

Soon after the Man was gone the Pidgeon was lost, and the Concern the
Children were under for Mr. _Jones_ and little _Sally_ was
in some Measure diverted, and Part of their Attention turned after
_Tom_, who was a great Favourite, and consequently much bewailed.
Mrs. _Margery_, who knew the great Use and Necessity of teaching
Children to submit chearfully to the Will of Providence, bid them wipe
away their Tears, and then kissing _Sally_, you must be a good
Girl, says she, and depend upon GOD Almighty for his Blessing and
Protection; for _he is a Father to the Fatherless, and defendeth all
those who put their Trust in him_. She then told them a Story,
which I shall relate in as few Words as possible.


            _The History of Mr._ Lovewell, _Father
                          to Lady_ Lucy.

Mr. _Lovewell_ was born at _Bath_, and apprenticed to a
laborious Trade in _London_, which being too hard for him, he
parted with his Master by Consent, and hired himself as a common
Servant to a Merchant in the City. Here he spent his leisure Hours not
as Servants too frequently do, in Drinking and Schemes of Pleasure,
but in improving his Mind; and among other Acquirements, he made
himself a complete Master of Accompts. His Sobriety, Honesty, and the
Regard he paid to his Master's Interest, greatly recommended him in
the whole Family, and he had several Offices of Trust committed to his
Charge, in which he acquitted himself so well, that the Merchant
removed him from the Stable into the Counting-house.

Here he soon made himself Master of the Business, and became so useful
to the Merchant, that in regard to his faithful Services, and the
Affection he had for him, he married him to his own Niece, a prudent
agreeable young Lady; and gave him a Share in the Business. See what
Honesty and Industry will do for us. Half the great Men in
_London_, I am told, have made themselves by this Means, and who
would but be honest and industrious, when it is so much our Interest
and our Duty.

After some Years the Merchant died, and left Mr. _Lovewell_
possessed of many fine Ships at Sea, and much Money, and he was happy
in a Wife, who had brought him a Son and two Daughters, all dutiful
and obedient. The Treasures and good Things, however, of this Life are
so uncertain, that a Man can never be happy, unless he lays the
Foundation for it in his own Mind. So true is that Copy in our Writing
Books, which tells us, that _a contented Mind is a continual
Feast_.

After some Years successful Trade, he thought his Circumstances
sufficient to insure his own Ships, or, in other Words, to send his
Ships and Goods to Sea without being insured by others, as is
customary among Merchants; when, unfortunately for him, four of them
richly laden were lost at Sea. This he supported with becoming
Resolution; but the next Mail brought him Advice, that nine others
were taken by the _French_, with whom we were then at War; and
this, together with the Failure of three foreign Merchants whom he had
trusted, compleated his Ruin. He was then obliged to call his
Creditors together, who took his Effects, and being angry with him for
the imprudent Step of not insuring his Ships, left him destitute of
all Subsistence. Nor did the Flatterers of his Fortune, those who had
lived by his Bounty when in his Prosperity, pay the least Regard
either to him or his Family. So true is another Copy, that you will
find in your Writing Book, which says, _Misfortune tries our
Friends_. All these Slights of his pretended Friends, and the ill
Usage of his Creditors, both he and his Family bore with Christian
Fortitude; but other Calamities fell upon him, which he felt more
sensibly.

In his Distress, one of his Relations, who lived at _Florence_,
offered to take his Son; and another, who lived at _Barbadoes_,
sent for one of his Daughters. The Ship which his Son sailed in was
cast away, and all the Crew supposed to be lost; and the Ship, in
which his Daughter went a Passenger, was taken by Pyrates, and one
Post brought the miserable Father an Account of the Loss of his two
Children. This was the severest Stroke of all: It made him compleatly
wretched, and he knew it must have a dreadful Effect on his Wife and
Daughter; he therefore endeavoured to conceal it from them. But the
perpetual Anxiety he was in, together with the Loss of his Appetite
and Want of Rest, soon alarmed his Wife. She found something was
labouring in his Breast, which was concealed from her; and one Night
being disturbed in a Dream, with what was ever in his Thoughts, and
calling out upon his dear Children; she awoke him, and insisted upon
knowing the Cause of his Inquietude. _Nothing, my Dear, nothing,_
says he, _The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be
the Name of the Lord._ This was sufficient to alarm the poor Woman;
she lay till his Spirits were composed, and as she thought asleep,
then stealing out of Bed, got the Keys and opened his Bureau, where
she found the fatal Account. In the Height of her Distractions, she
flew to her Daughter's Room, and waking her with her Shrieks, put the
Letters into her Hands. The young Lady, unable to support this Load of
Misery, fell into a Fit, from which it was thought she never could
have been recovered. However, at last she revived; but the Shock was
so great, that it entirely deprived her of her Speech.

Thus loaded with Misery, and unable to bear the Slights and Disdain of
those who had formerly professed themselves Friends, this unhappy Family
retired into a Country, where they were unknown, in order to hide
themselves from the World; when, to support their Independency, the
Father laboured as well as he could at Husbandry, and the Mother and
Daughter sometimes got spinning and knitting Work, to help to furnish
the Means of Subsistence; which however was so precarious and uncertain,
that they often, for many Weeks together, lived on nothing but Cabbage
and Bread boiled in Water. But God never forsaketh the Righteous, nor
suffereth those to perish who put their Trust in him. At this Time a
Lady, who was just come to England, sent to take a pleasant Seat ready
furnished in that Neighbourhood, and the Person who was employed for the
Purpose, was ordered to deliver a Bank Note of an hundred Pounds to Mr.
_Lovewell_, another hundred to his Wife, and fifty to the Daughter,
desiring them to take Possession of the House, and get it well aired
against she came down, which would be in two or three Days at most.
This, to People who were almost starving, was a sweet and seasonable
Relief, and they were all sollicitous to know their Benefactress, but of
that the Messenger himself was too ignorant to inform them. However, she
came down sooner than was expected, and with Tears embraced them again
and again: After which she told the Father and Mother she had heard from
their Daughter, who was her Acquaintance, and that she was well and on
her Return to England. This was the agreeable Subject of their
Conversation till after Dinner, when drinking their Healths, she again
with Tears saluted them, and falling upon her Knees asked their
Blessings.

[Illustration]

Tis impossible to express the mutual Joy which this occasioned. Their
Conversation was made up of the most endearing Expressions,
intermingled with Tears and Caresses. Their Torrent of Joy, however,
was for a Moment interrupted, by a Chariot which stopped at the Gate,
and which brought as they thought a very unseasonable Visitor, and
therefore she sent to be excused from seeing Company.

[Illustration]

But this had no Effect, for a Gentleman richly dressed jumped out of
the Chariot, and pursuing the Servant into the Parlour saluted them
round, who were all astonished at his Behaviour. But when the Tears
trickled from his Cheeks, the Daughter, who had been some Years dumb,
immediately cried out, _my Brother! my Brother! my Brother!_ and
from that Instant recovered her Speech. The mutual Joy which this
occasioned, is better felt than expressed. Those who have proper
Sentiments of Humanity, Gratitude, and filial Piety will rejoice at
the Event, and those who have a proper Idea of the Goodness of God,
and his gracious Providence, will from this, as well as other
Instances of his Goodness and Mercy, glorify his holy Name, and
magnify his Wisdom and Power, who is a Shield to the Righteous, and
defendeth all those who put their Trust in him.

As you, my dear Children, may be sollicitous to know how this happy
Event was brought about, I must inform you, that Mr. _Lovewell_'s Son,
when the Ship foundered, had with some others got into the long Boat,
and was taken up by a Ship at Sea, and carried to the East Indies,
where in a little Time he made a large Fortune; and the Pirates who
took his Daughter, attempted to rob her of her Chastity; but finding
her Inflexible, and determined to die rather than to submit, some of
them behaved to her in a very cruel Manner; but others, who had more
Honour and Generosity, became her Defenders; upon which a Quarrel
arose between them, and the Captain, who was the worst of the Gang,
being killed, the rest of the Crew carried the Ship into a Port of the
_Manilla_ Islands, belonging to the _Spaniards_; where, when her Story
was known, she was treated with great Respect, and courted by a young
Gentleman, who was taken ill of a Fever, and died before the Marriage
was agreed on, but left her his whole Fortune.

You see, my dear _Sally_, how wonderfully these People were
preserved, and made happy after such extreme Distress; we are
therefore never to despair, even under the greatest Misfortunes, for
GOD Almighty is All-powerful and can deliver us at any Time. Remember
_Job_, but I think you have not read so far, take the Bible,
_Billy Jones_, and read the History of that good and patient Man.
At this Instant something was heard to slap at the Window, _Wow,
wow, wow_, says Jumper, and attempted to leap up and open the Door,
at which the Children were surprized; but Mrs. _Margery_ knowing
what it was, opened the Casement, as _Noah_ did the Window of the
Ark, and drew in _Tom_ Pidgeon with a Letter, and see here he is.

[Illustration]

As soon as he was placed on the Table, he walked up to little
_Sally_, and dropping the Letter, cried, _Co, Co, Coo_, as
much as to say, _there read it_. Now this poor Pidgeon had
travelled fifty Miles in about an Hour, to bring _Sally_ this
Letter, and who would destroy such pretty Creatures.--But let us read
the Letter.

_My dear_ Sally,

GOD Almighty has been very merciful, and restored your Pappa to us
again, who is now so well as to be able to sit up. I hear you are a
good Girl, my Dear, and I hope you will never forget to praise the
Lord for this his great Goodness and Mercy to us--What a sad Thing it
would have been if your Father had died, and left both you and me, and
little _Tommy_ in Distress, and without a Friend: Your Father
sends his Blessing with mine--Be good, my dear Child, and God Almighty
will also bless you, whose Blessing is above all Things.

_I am, my Dear Sally_,

_Your ever affectionate Mother,_

MARTHA JONES.



                              CHAP. III.

               _Of the amazing Sagacity and Instincts
                         of a little Dog_.


Soon after this, a dreadful Accident happened in the School. It was on
a _Thursday_ Morning, I very well remember, when the Children
having learned their Lessons soon, she had given them Leave to play,
and they were all running about the School, and diverting themselves
with the Birds and the Lamb; at this Time the Dog, all of a sudden,
laid hold of his Mistress's Apron, and endeavoured to pull her out of
the School. She was at first surprized, however, she followed him to
see what he intended. No sooner had he led her into the Garden, but he
ran back, and pulled out one of the Children in the same manner; upon
which she ordered them all to leave the School immediately, and they
had not been out five Minutes, before the Top of the House fell in.
What a miraculous Deliverance was here! How gracious! How good was God
Almighty, to save all these Children from Destruction, and to make Use
of such an Instrument, as a little sagacious Animal to accomplish his
Divine Will. I should have observed, that as soon as they were all in
the Garden, the Dog came leaping round them to express his Joy, and
when the House was fallen, laid himself down quietly by his Mistress.

Some of the Neighbours, who saw the School fall, and who were in great
Pain for _Margery_ and the little ones, soon spread the News
through the Village, and all the Parents, terrified for their
Children, came crowding in Abundance; they had, however, the
Satisfaction to find them all safe, and upon their Knees, with their
Mistress, giving God thanks for their happy Deliverance.

            ADVICE _from the_ MAN _in the_ MOON.

_Jumper, Jumper, Jumper_, what a pretty Dog he is, and how
sensible? Had Mankind half the Sagacity of _Jumper_, they would
guard against Accidents of this Sort, by having a public Survey,
occasionally made of all the Houses in every Parish (especially of
those, which are old and decayed) and not suffer them to remain in a
crazy State, 'till they fall down on the Heads of the poor
Inhabitants, and crush them to Death. Why, it was but Yesterday, that
a whole House fell down in _Grace-church-street_, and another in
_Queen's-street_, and an hundred more are to tumble, before this
Time twelve Months; so Friends, take Care of yourselves, and tell the
Legislature, they ought to take Care for you. How can you be so
careless? Most of your Evils arise from Carelesness and Extravagance,
and yet you excuse yourselves, and lay the Fault upon Fortune. Fortune
is a Fool, and you are a Blockhead, if you put it in her Power to play
Tricks with you.

_Yours_,

_The_ MAN _in the_ MOON.

You are not to wonder, my dear Reader, that this little Dog should
have more Sense than you, or your Father, or your Grandfather.

Though God Almighty has made Man the Lord of the Creation, and endowed
him with Reason, yet in many Respects, he has been altogether as
bountiful to other Creatures of his forming. Some of the Senses of
other Animals are more acute than ours, as we find by daily
Experience. You know this little Bird, _sweet Jug, Jug, Jug_,
'tis a Nightingale. This little Creature, after she has entertained us
with her Songs all the Spring, and bred up her little ones, flies into
a foreign Country, and finds her Way over the Great Sea, without any
of the Instruments and Helps which Men are obliged to make Use of for
that Purpose. Was you as wise as the Nightingale, you might make all
the Sailors happy, and have twenty thousand Pounds for teaching them
the Longitude.

[Illustration]

You would not think _Ralph_ the Raven half so wise and so good as he
is, though you see him here reading his book. Yet when the Prophet
_Elijah_, was obliged to fly from _Ahab_ King of _Israel_, and hide
himself in a Cave, the Ravens, at the Command of God Almighty, fed him
every Day, and preserved his Life.

_And the Word of the Lord came unto _Elijah_, saying, Hide
thyself by the Brook _Cherith_, that is before _Jordan_, and
I have commanded the Ravens to feed thee there. And the Ravens brought
him Bread and Flesh in the Morning, and Bread and Flesh in the
Evening, and he drank of the Brook,_ Kings, B.I.C. 17.

And the pretty Pidgeon when the World was drowned, and he was confined
with _Noah_ in the Ark, was sent forth by him to see whether the
Waters were abated, _And he sent forth a Dove from him, to see if
the Waters were abated from off the Face of the Ground. And the Dove
came in to him in the Evening, and lo, in her Mouth was an Olive Leaf
plucked off: So_ Noah _knew that the Waters were abated from off
the Earth._ Gen. viii. 8. 11.

As these, and other Animals, are so sensible and kind to us, we ought
to be tender and good to them, and not beat them about, and kill them,
and take away their young ones, as many wicked Boys do. Does not the
Horse and the Ass carry you and your burthens; don't the Ox plough
your Ground, the Cow give you Milk, the Sheep cloath your Back, the
Dog watch your House, the Goose find you in Quills to write with, the
Hen bring Eggs for your Custards and Puddings, and the Cock call you
up in the Morning, when you are lazy, and like to hurt yourselves by
laying too long in Bed? If so, how can you be so cruel to them, and
abuse God Almighty's good Creatures? Go, naughty Boy, go; be sorry for
what you have done, and do so no more, that God Almighty may forgive
you. _Amen_, say I, again and again. God will bless you, but not
unless you are merciful and good.

The downfal of the School, was a great Misfortune to Mrs.
_Margery_; for she not only lost all her Books, but was destitute
of a Place to teach in; but Sir William _Dove_, being informed of
this, ordered the House to be built at his own Expence, and 'till that
could be done, Farmer _Grove_ was so kind, as to let her have his
large Hall to teach in.

The House built by Sir _William_, had a Statue erected over the
Door of a Boy sliding on the Ice, and under it were these Lines,
written by Mrs. _Two-Shoes_, and engraved at her Expence.

[Illustration]

  On SIN. A SIMILE.

    As a poor Urchin on the Ice,
  When he has tumbl'd once or twice,
  With cautious Step, and trembling goes,
  The drop-stile Pendant on his Nose,
  And trudges on to seek the Shore,
  Resolv'd to trust the Ice no more:
  But meeting with a daring Mate,
  Who often us'd to slide and scate,
  Again is into Danger led,
  And falls again, and breaks his head.
    So Youth when first they're drawn to sin,
  And see the Danger they are in,
  Would gladly quit the thorney Way,
  And think it is unsafe to stay;
  But meeting with their wicked Train,
  Return with them to sin again:
  With them the Paths of Vice explore;
  With them are ruin'd ever more.



                              CHAP. IV.

                 _What happened at Farmer Grove's;
                and how she gratified him for the Use
                           of his Room_.


While at Mr. _Grove's_, which was in the Heart of the Village,
she not only taught the Children in the Day Time, but the Farmer's
Servants, and all the Neighbours, to read and write in the Evening;
and it was a constant Practice before they went away, to make them all
go to Prayers, and sing Psalms. By this Means, the People grew
extremely regular, his Servants were always at Home, instead of being
at the Ale-house, and he had more Work done than ever. This gave not
only Mr. _Grove_, but all the Neighbours, an high Opinion of her
good Sense and prudent Behaviour: And she was so much esteemed, that
most of the Differences in the Parish were left to her Decision; and
if a Man and Wife quarrelled (which sometimes happened in that Part of
the Kingdom) both Parties certainly came to her for Advice. Every Body
knows, that _Martha Wilson_ was a passionate scolding Jade, and
that _John_ her husband, was a surly ill-tempered Fellow. These
were one Day brought by the Neighbours for _Margery_ to talk to
them, when they fairly quarrelled before her, and were going to Blows;
but she stepping between them, thus addressed the Husband;
_John_, says she, you are a Man, and ought to have more Sense
than to fly in a Passion, at every Word that is said amiss by your
Wife; and _Martha_, says she, you ought to know your Duty better,
than to say any Thing to aggravate your Husband's Resentment. These
frequent Quarrels, arise from the Indulgence of your violent Passions;
for I know, you both love one another, notwithstanding what has passed
between you. Now, pray tell me _John_, and tell me _Martha_,
when you have had a Quarrel the over Night, are you not both sorry for
it the next Day? They both declared that they were: Why then, says
she, I'll tell you how to prevent this for the future, if you will
both promise to take my Advice. They both promised her. You know, says
she, that a small Spark will set Fire to Tinder, and that Tinder
properly placed will fire a House; an angry Word is with you as that
Spark, for you are both as touchy as Tinder, and very often make your
own House too hot to hold you. To prevent this, therefore, and to live
happily for the future, you must solemnly agree, that if one speaks an
angry Word, the other will not answer, 'till he or she has distinctly
called over all the Letters in the Alphabet, and the other not reply,
'till he has told twenty; by this Means your Passions will be stifled,
and Reason will have Time to take the Rule.

This is the best Recipe that was ever given for a married Couple to
live in Peace: Though _John_ and his Wife frequently attempted to
quarrel afterwards, they never could get their Passions to any
considerable Height, for there was something so droll in thus carrying
on the Dispute, that before they got to the End of the Argument, they
saw the Absurdity of it, laughed, kissed, and were Friends.

Just as Mrs. _Margery_ had settled this Difference between
_John_ and his Wife, the Children (who had been sent out to play,
while that Business was transacting) returned some in Tears, and
others very disconsolate, for the Loss of a little Dormouse they were
very fond of, and which was just dead. Mrs. _Margery_, who had
the Art of moralizing and drawing Instructions from every Accident,
took this Opportunity of reading them a Lecture on the Uncertainty of
Life, and the Necessity of being always prepared for Death. You should
get up in the Morning, says she, and to conduct yourselves, as if that
Day was to be your last, and lie down at Night, as if you never
expected to see this World any more. This may be done, says she,
without abating of your Chearfulness, for you are not to consider
Death as an Evil, but as a Convenience, as an useful Pilot, who is to
convey you to a Place of greater Happiness: Therefore, play my dear
Children, and be merry; but be innocent and good. The good Man sets
Death at Defiance, for his Darts are only dreadful to the Wicked.

After this, she permitted the Children to bury the little Dormouse,
and desired one of them to write his Epitaph, and here it is.

_Epitaph on a_ DORMOUSE, _really
     written by a little_ BOY.

  I.

  In Paper Case,
  Hard by this Place,
Dead a poor Dormouse lies;
  And soon or late,
  Summon'd by Fate,
Each Prince, each Monarch dies.

  II.

  Ye Sons of Verse,
  While I rehearse,
Attend instructive Rhyme;
  No Sins had _Dor_,
  To answer for,
Repent of yours in Time.



                               CHAP. V.

         _The whole History of the Considering Cap, set forth
        at large for the Benefit of all whom it may concern_.


[Illustration]

The great Reputation Mrs. _Margery_ acquired by composing
Differences in Families, and especially, between Man and Wife, induced
her to cultivate that Part of her System of Morality and Economy, in
order to render it more extensively useful. For this Purpose, she
contrived what she called a Charm for the Passions; which was a
considering Cap, almost as large as a Grenadier's, but of three equal
Sides; on the first of which was written, I MAY BE WRONG; on the
second, IT IS FIFTY TO ONE BUT YOU ARE; and on the third, I'LL
CONSIDER OF IT. The other Parts on the out-side, were filled with odd
Characters, as unintelligible as the Writings of the old
_Egyptians_; but within Side there was a Direction for its Use,
of the utmost Consequence; for it strictly enjoined the Possessor to
put on the Cap, whenever he found his Passions begin to grow
turbulent, and not to deliver a Word whilst it was on, but with great
Coolness and Moderation. As this Cap was an universal Cure for
Wrong-headedness, and prevented numberless Disputes and Quarrels, it
greatly hurt the Trade of the poor Lawyers, but was of the utmost
Service to the rest of the Community. They were bought by Husbands and
Wives, who had themselves frequent Occasion for them, and sometimes
lent them to their Children: They were also purchased in large
Quantities by Masters and Servants; by young Folks, who were intent on
Matrimony, by Judges, Jurymen, and even Physicians and Divines; nay,
if we may believe History, the Legislators of the Land did not disdain
the Use of them; and we are told, that when any important Debate
arose, _Cap, was the Word_, and each House looked like a grand
Synod of _Egyptian_ Priests. Nor was this Cap of less Use to
Partners in Trade, for with these, as well as with Husband and Wife,
if one was out of Humour, the other threw him the Cap, and he was
obliged to put it on, and keep it till all was quiet. I myself saw
thirteen Caps worn at a Time in one Family, which could not have
subsisted an Hour without them; and I was particularly pleased at Sir
_Humphry Huffum's_, to hear a little Girl, when her Father was
out of Humour, ask her Mamma, _if she should reach down the Cap_?
These Caps, indeed, were of such Utility, that People of Sense never
went without them; and it was common in the Country, when a Booby made
his Appearance, and talked Nonsense, to say, _he had no Cap in his
Pocket_.

[Illustration]

                   _Advice from FRIAR BACON._

What was _Fortunatus_'s Wishing Cap, when compared to this? That
Cap, is said to have conveyed People instantly from one Place to
another; but, as the Change of Place does not change the Temper and
Disposition of the Mind, little Benefit can be expected from it; nor
indeed is much to be hoped from his famous Purse: That Purse, it is
said, was never empty, and such a Purse, may be sometimes convenient;
but as Money will not purchase Peace, it is not necessary for a Man to
encumber himself with a great deal of it. Peace and Happiness depend
so much upon the State of a Man's own Mind, and upon the Use of the
considering Cap, that it is generally his own Fault, if he is
miserable. One of these Caps will last a Man his whole Life, and is a
Discovery of much greater Importance to the Public than the
Philosopher's Stone. Remember what was said by my Brazen Head, _Time
is, Time was, Time is past_: Now the _Time is_, therefore buy
the Cap immediately, and make a proper Use of it, and be happy before
the _Time is past_.

_Yours_ ROGER BACON.



                              CHAP. VI.

          _How Mrs._ MARGERY _was taken up for a Witch,
                and what happened on that Occasion._


And so it is true? And they have taken up Mrs. _Margery_ then,
and accused her of being a Witch, only because she was wiser than some
of her Neighbours! Mercy upon me! People stuff Children's Heads with
Stories of Ghosts, Faries, Witches, and such Nonsense when they are
young, and so they continue Fools all their Days. The whole World
ought to be made acquainted with her Case, and here it is at their
Service.

_The Case of Mrs._ MARGERY.

Mrs. _Margery_, as we have frequently observed, was always doing
Good, and thought she could never sufficiently gratify those who had
done any Thing to serve her. These generous Sentiments, naturally led
her to consult the Interest of Mr. _Grove_, and the rest of her
Neighbours; and as most of their Lands were Meadow, and they depended
much on their Hay, which had been for many Years greatly damaged by
wet Weather, she contrived an Instrument to direct them when to mow
their Grass with Safety, and prevent their Hay being spoiled. They all
came to her for Advice, and by that Means got in their Hay without
Damage, while most of that in the neighbouring Villages was spoiled.

This made a great Noise in the Country, and so provoked were the
People in the other Parishes, that they accused her of being a Witch,
and sent Gasser _Goosecap_, a busy Fellow in other People's
Concerns, to find out Evidence against her. This Wiseacre happened to
come to her School, when she was walking about with the Raven on one
Shoulder, the Pidgeon on the other, the Lark on her Hand, and the Lamb
and the Dog by her Side; which indeed made a droll Figure, and so
surprized the that he cried out, a Witch! a Witch! upon this she
laughing, answered, a Conjurer! a Conjurer! and so they parted; but it
did not end thus, for a Warrant was issued out against Mrs.
_Margery_, and she was carried to a Meeting of the Justices,
whither all the Neighbours followed her.

[Illustration]

At the Meeting, one of the Justices, who knew little of Life, and less
of the Law, behaved very idly; and though no Body was able to prove
any Thing against her, asked, who she could bring to her Character?
_Who_ can you bring against my Character, Sir, says she, there
are People enough who would appear in my Defence, were it necessary;
but I never supposed that any one here could be so weak, as to believe
there was any such Thing as a Witch. If I am a Witch, this is my
Charm, and (laying a Barometer or Weather Glass on the Table) it is
with this, says she, that I have taught my Neighbours to know the
State of the Weather. All the Company laughed, and Sir _William
Dove_, who was on the Bench, asked her Accusers, how they could be
such Fools, as to think there was any such Thing as a Witch. It is
true, continued he, many innocent and worthy People have been abused
and even murdered on this absurd and foolish Supposition; which is a
Scandal to our Religion, to our Laws, to our Nation, and to common
Sense; but I will tell you a Story.

There was in the West of _England_ a poor industrious Woman, who
laboured under the same evil Report, which this good Woman is accused
of. Every Hog that died with the Murrain, every Cow that slipt her
Calf, she was accountable for: If a Horse had the Staggers, she was
supposed to be in his Head; and whenever the Wind blew a little harder
than ordinary, _Goody Giles_ was playing her Tricks, and riding
upon a Broomstick in the Air. These, and a thousand other Phantasies,
too ridiculous to recite, possessed the Pates of the common People:
Horse-shoes were nailed with the Heels upwards, and many Tricks made
use of, to mortify the poor Creature; and such was their Rage against
her, that they petitioned Mr. _Williams_, the Parson of the
Parish, not to let her come to Church; and at last, even insisted upon
it: But this he over-ruled, and allowed the poor old Woman a Nook in
one of the Isles to herself, where she muttered over her Prayers in
the best Manner she could. The Parish, thus disconcerted and enraged,
withdrew the small Pittance they allowed for her Support, and would
have reduced her to the Necessity of starving, had she not been still
assisted by the benevolent Mr. _Williams_.

But I hasten to the Sequel of my Story, in which you will find, that
the true Source from whence Witchcraft springs is _Poverty_,
_Age_, and _Ignorance_; and that it is impossible for a
Woman to pass for a Witch, unless she is _very poor_, _very
old_, and lives in a Neighbourhood where the People are _void of
common Sense_.

Some Time after, a Brother of her's died in _London_, who, though he
would not part with a Farthing while he lived, at his Death was
obliged to leave her five thousand Pounds, that he could not carry
with him.--This altered the Face of _Jane_'s Affairs prodigiously:
She was no longer _Jane_, alias _Joan Giles_, the ugly old Witch, but
Madam _Giles_; her old ragged Garb was exchanged for one that was new
and genteel; her greatest Enemies made their Court to her, even the
Justice himself came to wish her Joy; and though several Hogs and
Horses died, and the Wind frequently blew afterwards, yet Madam
_Giles_ was never supposed to have a Hand in it; and from hence it is
plain, as I observed before, that a Woman must be _very poor, very
old_, and live in a Neighbourhood, where the People are _very stupid_,
before she can possibly pass for a Witch.

'Twas a Saying of Mr. _Williams_, who would sometimes be jocose,
and had the Art of making even Satire agreeable; that if ever
_Jane_ deserved the Character of a Witch, it was after this Money
was left her; for that with her five thousand Pounds, she did more
Acts of Charity and friendly Offices, than all the People of Fortune
within fifty Miles of the Place.

After this, Sir _William_ inveighed against the absurd and
foolish Notions, which the Country People had imbibed concerning
Witches, and Witchcraft, and having proved that there was no such
Thing, but that all were the Effects of Folly and Ignorance, he gave
the Court such an Account of Mrs. _Margery_, and her Virtue, good
Sense, and prudent Behaviour, that the Gentlemen present were
enamoured with her, and returned her public Thanks for the great
Service she had done the Country. One Gentleman in particular, I mean
Sir _Charles Jones_, had conceived such an high Opinion of her,
that he offered her a considerable Sum to take the Care of his Family,
and the Education of his Daughter, which, however, she refused; but
this Gentleman, sending for her afterwards when he had a dangerous Fit
of Illness, she went, and behaved so prudently in the Family, and so
tenderly to him and his Daughter, that he would not permit her to
leave his House, but soon after made her Proposals of Marriage. She
was truly sensible of the Honour he intended her, but, though poor,
she would not consent to be made a Lady, till he had effectually
provided for his Daughter; for she told him, that Power was a
dangerous Thing to be trusted with, and that a good Man or Woman would
never throw themselves into the Road of Temptation.

[Illustration]

All Things being settled, and the Day fixed, the Neighbours came in
Crouds to see the Wedding; for they were all glad, that one who had
been such a good little Girl, and was become such a virtuous and good
Woman, was going to be made a Lady; but just as the Clergyman had
opened his Book, a Gentleman richly dressed ran into the Church, and
cry'd, Stop! stop! This greatly alarmed the Congregation, particularly
the intended Bride and Bridegroom, whom he first accosted, and desired
to speak with them apart. After they had been talking some little
Time, the People were greatly surprized to see Sir _Charles_
stand Motionless, and his Bride cry, and faint away in the Stranger's
Arms. This seeming Grief, however, was only a Prelude to a Flood of
Joy, which immediately succeeded; for you must know, gentle Reader,
that this Gentleman, so richly dressed and bedizened with Lace, was
that identical little Boy, whom you before saw in the Sailor's Habit;
in short, it was little _Tom Two Shoes_, Mrs. _Margery's_
Brother, who was just come from beyond Sea, where he had made a large
Fortune, and hearing, as soon as he landed, of his Sister's intended
Wedding, had rode Post, to see that a proper Settlement was made on
her; which he thought she was now intitled to, as he himself was both
able and willing to give her an ample Fortune. They soon returned to
the Communion-Table, and were married in Tears, but they were Tears of
Joy.

There is something wonderful in this young Gentleman's Preservation
and Success in Life; which we shall acquaint the Reader of, in the
History of his Life and Adventures, which will soon be published.



                         CHAP. VII. and Last.

                    _The true Use of Riches._


The Harmony and Affection that subsisted between this happy Couple, is
inexpressible; but Time, which dissolves the closest Union, after six
Years, severed Sir _Charles_ from his Lady; for being seized with
a violent Fever he died, and left her full of Grief, tho' possessed of
a large Fortune.

We forgot to remark, that after her Marriage, _Lady Jones_ (for
so we must now call her) ordered the Chappel to be fitted up, and
allowed the Chaplain a considerable Sum out of her own private Purse,
to visit the Sick, and say Prayers every Day to all the People that
could attend. She also gave Mr. _Johnson_ ten Guineas a Year, to
preach a Sermon, annually, on the Necessity and Duties of the marriage
State, and on the Decease of Sir _Charles_; she gave him ten
more, to preach yearly on the Subject of Death; she had put all the
Parish into Mourning for the Loss of her Husband; and to those Men who
attended this yearly Service, she gave Harvest Gloves, to their Wives
Shoes and Stockings, and to all the Children little Books and
Plumb-cakes: We must also observe, that she herself wove a Chaplet of
Flowers, and before the Service, placed it on his Grave-stone; and a
suitable Psalm was always sung by the Congregation.

About this Time, she heard that Mr. _Smith_ was oppressed by Sir
Timothy Gripe_, the Justice, and his Friend _Graspall_, who
endeavoured to deprive him of Part of his Tythes; upon which she, in
Conjunction with her Brother, defended him, and the Cause was tried in
_Westminster-hall_, where Mr. _Smith_ gained a Verdict; and
it appearing that Sir _Timothy_ had behaved most scandalously, as
a Justice of the Peace, he was struck off the List, and no longer
permitted to act in that Capacity. This was a Cut to a Man of his
imperious Disposition, and this was followed by one yet more severe;
for a Relation of his, who had an undoubted Right to the
_Mouldwell_ Estate, finding that it was possible to get the
better at Law of a rich Man, laid Claim to it, brought his Action, and
recovered the whole Manor of _Mouldwell_, and being afterwards
inclined to sell it, he, in Consideration of the Aid Lady
_Margery_ had lent him during his Distress, made her the first
Offer, and she purchased the Whole, and threw it into different Farms,
that the Poor might be no longer under the Dominion of two over-grown
Men.

This was a great Mortification to Sir _Timothy_, as well as to
his Friend _Graspall_, who from this Time experienced nothing but
Misfortunes, and was in a few Years so dispossessed of his Ill-gotten
Wealth, that his Family were reduced to seek Subsistance from the
Parish, at which those who had felt the Weight of his Iron Hand
rejoiced; but Lady _Margery_ desired, that his Children might be
treated with Care and Tenderness; _for they_, says she, _are no
Ways accountable for the Actions of their Father_.

At her first coming into Power, she took Care to gratify her old
Friends, especially Mr. and Mrs. _Smith_, whose Family she made
happy.--She paid great Regard to the Poor, made their Interest her
own, and to induce them to come regularly to Church, she ordered a
Loaf, or the Price of a Loaf, to be given to every one who would
accept of it. This brought many of them to Church, who by degrees
learned their Duty, and then came on a more noble Principle. She also
took Care to encourage Matrimony; and in order to induce her Tenants
and Neighbours to enter into that happy State, she always gave the
young Couple something towards House-keeping; and stood Godmother to
all their Children, whom she had in Parties, every _Sunday_
Evening, to teach them their Catechism, and lecture them in Religion
and Morality; after which she treated them with a Supper, gave them
such Books as they wanted, and then dispatched them with her Blessing.
Nor did she forget them at her Death, but left each a Legacy, as will
be seen among other charitable Donations when we publish her Will,
which we may do in some future Volume. There is one Request however so
singular, that we cannot help taking some Notice of it in this Place;
which is, that of her giving so many Acres of Land to be planted
yearly with Potatoes, for all the Poor of any Parish who would come
and fetch them for the Use of their Families; but if any took them to
sell they were deprived of that Privilege ever after. And these Roots
were planted and raised from the Rent arising from a Farm which she
had assigned over for that purpose. In short, she was a Mother to the
Poor, a Physician to the Sick, and a Friend to all who were in
Distress. Her Life was the greatest Blessing, and her Death the
greatest Calamity that ever was felt in the Neighbourhood. A Monument,
but without Inscription, was erected to her Memory in the Church-yard,
over which the Poor as they pass weep continually, so that the Stone
is ever bathed in Tears.

On this Occasion the following Lines were spoken extempore by a young
Gentleman.

  _How vain the Tears that fall from you,
  And here supply the Place of Dew?
  How vain to weep the happy Dead,
  Who now to heavenly Realms are fled?
  Repine no more, your Plaints forbear,
  And all prepare to meet them there._

                               The END.



                              APPENDIX.

                       _The_ GOLDEN DREAM; _or,
                      the_ INGENUOUS CONFESSION.


[Illustration]

To shew the Depravity of human Nature, and how apt the Mind is to be
misled by Trinkets and false Appearances, Mrs. _Two-Shoes_ does
acknowledge, that after she became rich, she had like to have been too
fond of Money; for on seeing her Husband receive a very large Sum, her
Heart went pit pat, pit pat, all the Evening, and she began to think
that Guineas were pretty Things. To suppress this Turbulence of Mind,
which was a Symptom of approaching Avarice, she said her Prayers earlier
than usual, and at Night had the following Dream; which I shall relate
in her own Words.

"Methought, as I slept, a Genii stept up to me with a _French_
Commode, which having placed on my Head, he said, now go and be happy;
for from henceforth every Thing you touch shall turn to Gold. Willing
to try the Experiment, I gently touched the Bed-post and Furniture,
which immediately became massy Gold burnished, and of surprizing
Brightness. I then touched the Walls of the House, which assumed the
same Appearance, and looked amazingly magnificent. Elated with this
wonderful Gift, I rang hastily for my Maid to carry the joyful News to
her Master, who, as I thought, was then walking in the Garden.
_Sukey_ came, but in the Extacy I was in, happening to touch her
Hand, she became instantly an immovable Statue. Go, said I, and call
your Master; but she made no reply, nor could she stir. Upon this I
shrieked, and in came my dear Husband, whom I ran to embrace; when no
sooner had I touched him, but he became good for nothing; that is,
good for nothing but his Weight in Gold; and that you know could be
nothing, where Gold was so plenty. At this instant up came another
Servant with a Glass of Water, thinking me ill; this I attempted to
swallow, but no sooner did it touch my Mouth, than it became a hard
solid Body, and unfit for drinking. My Distress now grew
insupportable! I had destroyed, as I thought, my dear Husband, and my
favourite Servant; and I plainly perceived, that I should die for want
in the midst of so much Wealth. Ah, said I, why did I long for Riches!
Having enough already, why did I covet more? Thus terrified, I began
to rave, and beat my Breast, which awaked Sir _Charles_, who
kindly called me from this State of Inquietude, and composed my Mind."

This Scene I have often considered as a Lesson, instructing me, that a
Load of Riches bring, instead of Felicity, a Load of Troubles; and
that the only Source of Happiness is _Contentment_. Go,
therefore, you who have too much, and give it to those who are in
want; so shall you be happy yourselves, by making others happy. This
is a Precept from the Almighty, a Precept which must be regarded; for
_The Lord is about your Paths, and about your Bed, and spieth out
all your Ways_.

_An Anecdote, respecting_ TOM TWO-SHOES, _communicated by a
Gentleman, who is now writing the History of his Life._

It is generally known, that _Tom Two-Shoes_ went to Sea when he was
a very little Boy, and very poor; and that he returned a very great Man,
and very rich; but no one knows how he acquired so much Wealth but
myself, and a few Friends, who have perused the Papers from which I am
compiling the History of his Life.

After _Tom_ had been at Sea some Years, he was unfortunately cast
away, on that Part of the Coast of _Africa_ inhabited by the
_Hottentots_. Here he met with a strange Book, which the
_Hottentots_ did not understand, and which gave him some Account
of _Prester John's_ Country; and being a Lad of great Curiosity
and Resolution he determined to see it; accordingly he set out on the
Pursuit, attended by a young Lion, which he had tamed and made so fond
of him, that he followed him like a Dog, and obeyed all his Commands;
and indeed it was happy for him that he had such a Companion; for as
his Road lay through large Woods and Forests, that were full of wild
Beasts and without Inhabitants, he must have been soon starved or torn
in Pieces, had he not been both fed and protected by this noble
Animal.

[Illustration]

_Tom_ had provided himself with two Guns, a Sword, and as much
Powder and Ball as he could carry; with these Arms, and such a
Companion, it was mighty easy for him to get Food; for the Animals in
these wild and extensive Forests, having never seen the Effects of a
Gun, readily ran from the Lion, who hunted on one Side, to _Tom_,
who hunted on the other, so that they were either caught by the Lion,
or shot by his Master; and it was pleasant enough, after a hunting
Match, and the Meat was dressed, to see how Cheek by Joul they sat
down to Dinner.

[Illustration]

When they came info the Land of _Utopia_, he discovered the
Statue of a Man created on an open Plain, which had this Inscription
on the Pedestal: _On_ May-day _in the Morning, when the Sun
rises, I shall have a Head of Gold_. As it was now the latter End
of _April_, he stayed to see this wonderful Change; and in the
mean time, enquiring of a poor Shepherd what was the Reason of the
Statue being erected there, and with that Inscription, he was
informed, that it was set up many Years ago by an _Arabian_
Philosopher, who travelled all the World over in Search of a real
Friend; that he lived with, and was extremely fond of a great Man who
inhabited the next Mountain; but that on some Occasion they
quarrelled, and the Philosopher, leaving the Mountain, retired into
the Plain, where he erected this Statue with his own Hands, and soon
after died. To this he added, that all the People for many Leagues
round came there every _May_ Morning, expecting to see the
Stone-head turned to Gold.

_Tom_ got up very early on the first of _May_ to behold this
amazing Change, and when he came near the Statue he saw a Number of
People, who all ran away from him in the utmost Consternation, hating
never before seen a Lion follow a Man like a Lap-dog. Being thus left
alone, he fixed his Eyes on the Sun, then rising with resplendent
Majesty, and afterwards turned to the Statue, but could see no Change
in the Stone.--Surely, says he to himself, there is some mystical
Meaning in this! This Inscription must be an Ænigma, the hidden
Meaning of which I will endeavour to find; for a Philosopher would
never expect a Stone to be turned to Gold; accordingly he measured the
Length of the Shadow, which the Statue gave on the Ground by the Sun
shining on it, and marked that particular Part where the Head fell,
then getting a _Chopness_ (a Thing like a Spade) and digging, he
discovered a Copper-chest, full of Gold, with this Inscription
engraved on the Lid of it.

                               Thy WIT,
                      Oh Man! whoever thou art,
                      Hath disclos'd the Ænigma,
                   And discover'd the GOLDEN HEAD.
                         Take it and use it,
                       But use it with WISDOM;
                              For know,
                    That GOLD, properly employ'd,
                       May dispense Blessings,
                 And promote the Happiness of Morals;
                         But when hoarded up,
                            Or misapply'd,
             Is but Trash, that makes Mankind miserable.
                               Remember
                      The unprofitable Servant,
                  Who hid his _Talent_ in a Napkin;
                                 And
                         The profligate Son,
                Who squander'd away his Substance and
                         fed with the Swine.
                  As thou hast got the GOLDEN HEAD,
                      Observe the _Golden Mean_,
                       Be _Good_ and be happy.


This Lesson, coming as it were from the Dead, struck him with such
Awe, and Reverence for Piety and Virtue, that, before he removed the
Treasure, he kneeled down, and earnestly and fervently prayed that he
might make a prudent, just and proper Use of it. He then conveyed the
Chest away; but how he got it to _England_, the Reader will be
informed in the History of his Life. It may not be improper, however,
in this Place, to give the Reader some Account of the Philosopher who
hid this Treasure, and took so much Pains to find a true and real
Friend to enjoy it. As _Tom_ had Reason to venerate his Memory,
he was very particular in his Enquiry, and had this Character of
him;--that he was a Man well acquainted with Nature and with Trade;
that he was pious, friendly, and of a sweet and affable Disposition.
That he had acquired a Fortune by Commerce, and having no Relations to
leave it to, he travelled through _Arabia, Persia, India, Libia_
and _Utopia_ in search of a real Friend. In this Pursuit he found
several with whom he exchanged good Offices, and that were polite and
obliging, but they often flew off for Trifles; or as soon as he
pretended to be in Distress, and requested their Assistance, left him
to struggle with his own Difficulties. So true is that Copy in our
Books, which says, _Adversity is the Touchstone of Friendship_.
At last, however, he met with the _Utopian_ Philosopher, or the
wise Man of the Mountain, as he is called, and thought in him he had
found the Friend he wanted; for though he often pretended to be in
Distress, and abandoned to the Frowns of Fortune, this Man always
relieved him, and with such Chearfulness and Sincerity, that
concluding he had found out the only Man to whom he ought to open both
his Purse and his Heart, he let him so far into his Secrets, as to
desire his Assistance in hiding a large Sum of Money, which he wanted
to conceal, lest the Prince of the Country, who was absolute, should,
by the Advice of his wicked Minister, put him to Death for his Gold.
The two Philosophers met and hid the Money, which the Stranger, after
some Days, went to see, but found it gone. How was he struck to the
Heart, when he found that his Friend, whom he had often tried, and who
had relieved him in his Distress, could not withstand this Temptation,
but broke through the sacred Bonds of Friendship, and turned even a
Thief for Gold which he did not want, as he was already very rich. Oh!
said he, what is the Heart of Man made of? Why am I condemned to live
among People who have no Sincerity, and who barter the most sacred
Ties of Friendship and Humanity for the Dirt that we tread on? Had I
lost my Gold and found a real Friend, I should have been happy with
the Exchange, but now I am most miserable. After some Time he wiped
off his Tears, and being determined not to be so imposed on, he had
Recourse to Cunning and the Arts of Life. He went to his pretended
Friend with a chearful Countenance, told him he had more Gold to hide,
and desired him to appoint a Time when they might go together, and
open the Earth to put it into the same Pot; the other, in Hopes of
getting more Wealth, appointed the next Evening. They went together,
opened the Ground, and found the Money they had first placed there,
for the artful Wretch, he so much confided in, had conveyed it again
into the Pot, in order to obtain more. Our Philosopher immediately
took the Gold, and putting it into his Pocket, told the other he had
now altered his Mind, and should bury it no more, till he found a Man
more worthy of his Confidence. See what People lose by being
dishonest. This calls to my Mind the Words of the Poet:

 _A Wit's a Feather, and a Chief's a Rod,
  An honest Man's the noblest Work of God._

Remember this Story, and take Care whom you trust; but don't be
covetous, sordid and miserable; for the Gold we have is but lent us to
do Good with. We received all from the Hand of God, and every Person
in Distress hath a just Title to a Portion of it.

               _A_ LETTER _from the_ PRINTER, _which he
                      desires may be inserted_.

SIR,

I have done with your Copy, so you may return it to the
_Vatican_, if you please; and pray tell Mr. _Angelo_ to
brush up the Cuts, that, in the next Edition, they may give us a good
Impression.

The Foresight and Sagacity of Mrs. _Margery_'s Dog calls to my
Mind a Circumstance, which happened when I was a Boy. Some Gentlemen
in the Place where I lived had been hunting, and were got under a
great Tree to shelter themselves from a Thunder Storm; when a Dog that
always followed one of the Gentlemen leaped up his Horse several
Times, and then ran away and barked. At last, the Gentlemen all
followed to see what he would be at; and they were no sooner gone from
the Tree, but it was shivered in Pieces by Lightning! 'Tis remarkable,
that as soon as they came from the Tree the Dog appeared to be very
well satisfied, and barked no more. The Gentleman after this always
regarded the Dog as his Friend, treated him in his Old Age with great
Tenderness, and fed him with Milk as long as he lived.

My old Master _Grierson_ had also a Dog, that ought to be
mentioned with Regard; for he used to set him up as a Pattern of
Sagacity and Prudence, not only to his Journeymen, but to the whole
Neighbours. This Dog had been taught a thousand Tricks, and among
other Feats he could dance, tumble, and drink Wine and Punch till he
was little better than mad. It happened one Day, when the Men had made
him drunk with Liquor, and he was capering about, that he fell into a
large Vessel of boiling Water. They soon got him out, and he
recovered; but he was very much hurt, and being sensible, that this
Accident arose from his losing his Senses by Drinking, he would never
taste any strong Liquor afterwards.--My old Master, on relating this
Story, and shewing the Dog, used to address us thus, _Ah, my
Friends, had you but half the Sense of this poor Dog here, you would
never get fuddled, and be Fools._

I am, Sir, Your's, &c. W.B.

The BOOKS usually read by the Scholars of Mrs. TWO-SHOES, are these,
and are sold at Mr. NEWBERY'S at the _Bible_ and _Sun_ in
St. _Paul's_ Church-yard.

 1. The _Christmas-Box_, Price 1d.

 2. The History of _Giles Gingerbread_, 1d.

 3. The _New-Year's-Gift_, 2d.

 4. The _Easter-Gift_, 2d.

 5. The _Whitsuntide-Gift_, 2d.

 6. The _Twelfth-Day-Gift_, 1s.

 7. The _Valentine's-Gift_, 6d.

 8. The FAIRING or _Golden Toy_, 6d.

 9. The _Royal Battledore_, 2d.

10. The _Royal Primer_, 3d.

11. The _Little Lottery-Book_, 3d.

12. The _Little Pretty Pocket-Book_, 6d.

13. The _Infant Tutor_, _or pretty Little
    Spelling-Book_, 6d.

14. The _Pretty Book for Children_, 6d.

15. _Tom Trapwit's Art of being Merry and Wife_, 6d.

16. _Tom Trip's History of Birds and Beasts_, Price 6d.

17. _Food for the Mind_, _or a New Riddle Book_, 6d.

18. _Fables in Verse and Prose by Æsop, and your old Friend
    Woglog_, 6d.

19. The _Holy Bible abridged_, 6d.

20. The _History of the Creation_, 6d.

21. _A new and noble History of England_, 6d.

22. _Philosophy for Children_, 6d.

23. _Philosophy of Tops and Balls_, 1s.

24. _Pretty Poems for Children 3 Foot high_, 6d.

25. _Pretty Poems for Children 6 Foot high_, 1s.

26. _Lilliputian Magazine, or Golden Library_, 1s.

27. _Short Histories for the Improvement of the Mind_, 1s.

28. The _New Testament_, adapted to the Capacities
    of Children, 1s.

29. The Life of our Blessed SAVIOUR, 1s.

30. The Lives of the Holy _Apostles_ and _Evangelists_, 1s.

31. The Lives of the _Fathers_ of the _Christian_ Church for
    the first four Centuries, 1s.

32. A Concise _Exposition_ of the Book of _Common Prayer_,
    with the Lives of its _Compilers_, 1s.

33. The _Museum_ for Youth, 1s.

34. An Easy _Spelling Dictionary_ for those who would write
    correctly, 1s.

35. A _Pocket Dictionary_ for those who would know the precise
    Meaning of all the Words in the _English_ Language, 3s.

36. A Compendious History of _England_, 2s.

37. The Present State of _Great Britain_, 2s.

38. A Little Book of Letters and Cards, to teach young Ladies and
    Gentlemen how to write to their Friends in a polite, easy
    and elegant Manner, 1s.

39. The Gentleman and Lady's Key to _Polite Literature_; or, A
    _Compendious Dictionary_ of Fabulous History, 2s.

40. The News-Readers Pocket-Book; or, A _Military
    Dictionary_, 2s.

41. A Curious Collection of Voyages, selected from the Writers of all
    Nations, 10 Vol. Pr. bound 1l.

42. A Curious Collection of Travels, selected from the Writers of all
    Nations, 10 Vol; Pr. bound 1l.

By the KING'S Royal Patent,

Are Sold by J. NEWBERY, at the _Bible_ and _Sun_ in _St.
Paul's Church-Yard_.

 1. Dr. _James's Powders_ for Fevers, the Small-Pox, Measles,
    Colds, &c. 2s. 6d.

 2. Dr. _Hooper's Female Pills_, 1s.

 3. Mr. _Greenough's Tincture_ for Teeth, 1s.

 4. _Ditto_ for the Tooth-Ach, 1s.

 5. _Stomachic Lozenges_ for the Heart-burn, Cholic,
    Indigestion, &c. 1s. 6d.

 6. The _Balsam of Health_, or, (as it is by some called) the
    Balsam of Life, 1s. 6d.

 7. The _Original Daffy's Elixir_, 1s. 3d.

 8. Dr. _Anderson's Scots Pills_, 1s.

 9. The _Original British Oil_, 1s.

10. The _Alterative Pills_, which are a safe, and certain Cure
    for the King's Evil, and all Scrophulous Complaints, 5s. the Box,
    containing 40 Doses.--_See a Dissertation on these Disorders
    sold at the Place above-mentioned_, Price 6d.





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