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Title: The Absurd ABC
Author: Crane, Walter, 1845-1915
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "The Absurd ABC" ***

This book is indexed by ISYS Web Indexing system to allow the reader find any word or number within the document.

[Illustration: Crest]

[Illustration: Cover]




The absurd ABC originally published 1874.

[Illustration: ABCD]

A for the APPLE
  or Alphabet pie,
Which all get a slice of.
  Come taste it & try.

B is the BABY
  who gave Mr Bunting
Full many a long day's
  rabbit skin hunting.

C for the CAT
  that played on the fiddle,
When cows jumped higher than
  'Heigh Diddle Diddle!'

D for the DAME
  with her pig at the stile,
'Tis said they got over,
  but not yet a while.

[Illustration: EFG]

E for the Englishman,
  ready to make fast
The giant who wanted to
  have him for breakfast.

F for the Frog in the story
  you know,
Begun with a wooing but
  ending in woe.

G for Goosey Gander
  who wandered upstairs,
And met the old man
  who objected to prayers.

[Illustration: HIJ]

H for poor Humpty who
  after his fall,
Felt obliged to resign his
  seat on the wall.

I for the Inn where they
  wouldn't give beer,
To one with too much
  and no money, I fear.

J does for poor Jack and
  also for Jill,
Who had so disastrous
  a tumble down hill.

[Illustration: KLMNOP]

K for calm Kitty, at dinner
  who sat,
While all the good folks
  watched the dog & the cat.

L for Little man, gun and
  bullets complete,
Who shot the poor duck, and
  was proud of the feat.

M for Miss Muffet, with
  that horrid spider,
Just dropped into tea and
  a chat beside her.

N for the Numerous children
  they who
Were often too much for
  their mother in Shoe.

O the Old person that
  cobwebs did spy,
And went up to sweep 'em
  Oh ever so high!

P for the Pie made of
  blackbirds to sing,
A song fit for supper
  a dish for a king.

[Illustration: QRS]

Q for Queen Anne
  who sat in the sun
Till she, more than the lily
  resembled the bun

R stands for Richard &
  Robert, those men
Who didn't get up one
  fine morning till ten!

S for the Snail that showed
  wonderful fight,
Putting no less than twenty-four
  tailors to flight!

[Illustration: TUV]

T stands for Tom, the son of
  the piper,
May his principles change
  as his years grow riper.

U for the Unicorn, keeping
  his eye on
The coveted crown, and
  'ts counsel the Lion.

V for the Victuals, including
  the drink,
The old woman lived on
  surprising to think!

[Illustration: WXYZ]

W for the WOMAN
  who not over nice,
Made very short work
  of the three blind mice.

X is the X
  that is found upon buns,
Which, daughters not liking,
  may come in for sons.

Y for Yankee Doodle
  of ancient renown,
Both he & his pony
  that took him to town.

Z for the Zany
  who looked like a fool,
For when he was young
  he neglected his school.

[Illustration: A-M]

[Illustration: N-Z]

*** End of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "The Absurd ABC" ***

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