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Title: Cupid's Almanac and Guide to Hearticulture for This Year and Next
Author: Herford, Oliver, 1863-1935, Clay, John Cecil
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "Cupid's Almanac and Guide to Hearticulture for This Year and Next" ***

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_Heartis Throbolæ_


This must not be confused with the Wild Popper weed, _Paterfamilias
Furiosis_, which if not kept in its bed, often chokes off the Proposal
Plant and prevents its blooming.



_and GUIDE to_



_This Year and Next_

  Compiled for D. Cupid
  by John Cecil Clay
  and Oliver Herford


_Published by_


Boston and New York



_Published September 1908_



       *       *       *       *       *


       *       *       *       *       *





In most of the coastwise states the tides will keep coming in as usual,
but the wonderful changes in the flow of the Gulp stream will have a
canny effect on some of the interior states.



This will be a dry year.

_Length of Days_


The days will be longer this year for those not in love than they will
be for us.

_The Golden Number_


The Golden Number this year is only 2.



The Fairs will be just as fair this year as last--if anything, a little



The Spring Courts will be continued on into the summer, maybe longer. As
heretofore, cases having been appealed and receiving a satisfactory
decision from the Supreme Court should also receive the sanction of the

_Cupid's Legal Holidays_

Cupid's Birthday, January 1: St. Valentine's: The First Day of Spring:
Midsummer Day: Proposal Day, September 17: Followed by Mourner's Morn (a
half-hearted holiday) for the other fellow, September 18: Hallowe'en.

_Every Student of Hearticulture is allowed three Legal Holidays to be
their very own._




Artists' Note

_To the lovers of Beauty no branch of science offers such varied
delights as that of Hearticulture; at the same time no pursuit is so
full of disappointments for the inexperienced and pitfalls for the
unwary. It is the study of a lifetime; no one can say he is a master of
Hearticulture. Many of the most successful gardeners give it up as they
become older: some from disappointment over a trifling failure, others
from sheer weariness; still more take up a branch of nursery-gardening
called Matrimony, which demands such close attention and care that it
has come to be regarded as a profession in itself._

_It has even been asserted that Matrimony is no branch of Hearticulture
at all--a statement so far from the truth that it can only come from a
disappointed or unsuccessful Heart Gardener. Be warned, dear reader; if
you should take up this highest and most beautiful of all the branches
of Hearticulture with such an erroneous idea, you are foredoomed to

_If this little book be the means of showing to even the least of these
the error of his ways, we shall not feel that it has been made in vain._

[Illustration: Oliver Herford] [Illustration: John Cecil Clay]



  _Master Cupid he made a plan
  For a garden of Hearts on the first of_ JAN




One cannot begin too early, and January is the time for looking over the
ground and planning the arrangement of the Heart Garden.

Outside of the Hothouse few flowers are to be seen in January. The most
noticeable of these is the Common Turnleaf or Resolution Plant, a sort
of Neverlasting Flower. The Turnleaf abounds during the early days of
January, but disappears as the month progresses.

It is a showy plant, with its curiously marked leaves, but is seldom
known to blossom. The Flower, which is said to be of the purest white,
with an odor somewhat resembling Sanctity, is entirely concealed by the
leaves, which begin to turn as soon as the plant is full-grown.

When the new leaves have completely turned over, the flower will be seen
in all its snowy beauty. This, however, rarely happens, as most of the
plants die long before the turning process is accomplished.

Another winter-blooming flower is the Valentine Plant (_Lovelornia
Desperatia_), one of the _Epistolaria_ Family. This should be set out
towards the end of the month, as it flowers in the middle of February.

     _NOTE._ Recent investigations have shown that this destructive
     Blight, of which the Turnleaf is the victim, is caused by a deadly
     germ known as _Jus Twunsmoria_.



_Powderminosia Delicatea_


Shy. Blooms in out-of-the-way corners and on dressing-tables.



An uncertain plant. Don't try to raise them unless you have had

[Illustration: NOTES _on_ EXPERIMENTAL WORK]

  _He stole some cord from the spider's web
  To make a fence on the first of_ FEB




The Valentine Plants are now fully grown, but the flowers do not appear
until the middle of the month, when they are ready to be packed, and
sent by the male to all parts of the world.

The Valentine Plants are very sensitive to environment and temperature,
and occasionally produce a flower, remarkably like that of the Poppia or
Proposal Plant, to which it is said by some to be allied.

There is another variety of the Valentine Plant, much dreaded by
Hearticulturists, and unfortunately only too common, known as _Valentina
Vulgaria_. In well-kept gardens it is regarded as a weed and destroyed
whenever it appears. The flower is gaudy in color and emits a most
offensive odor. A powerful irritant to all the senses, it is to some
people quite poisonous, though rarely fatal in its effects.

The Social Climber (_Aspira Socialis_) or Push Vine, which blooms in the
most inclement weather and in the most Uninviting Places, is often seen
during this month. By fastidious gardeners it is considered an
undesirable visitor, and though impossible to exclude it altogether, if
kept well in check during the winter it will be less troublesome in the
summer months. The Push Vine is the toughest of all the Aspiration
Vines, and under favorable circumstances attains a great height.



_Lovelornia Desperatia_


Blooms only one day in the year, but if the blossoms are tenderly kept
they will retain their sweetness for a long time.



This plant speaks for itself.



  _From seeds he'd stored in an acorn jar
  He selected with care on the first of_ MAR




It is still too cold to set out the young Hope Plants. Hope poles for
their support should be out in readiness and stuck in the ground at
proper intervals. For this purpose the best poles are Spruce, or Heart
of Oak, or if the Hope Plants live till midsummer, the Sea Beach.
Weeping Willow, and Pine, of course, should be avoided.

Weeding must now begin in earnest, though it is as yet too early for the
Gossip Weed and the poisonous Scandalwood.

Antipathy, another noxious weed, in its early stages often resembles
Reciprocation, the very sweetest of all the early spring flowers. Even
the Seeds of these two plants are so alike that one sometimes sows
Antipathy when he thinks he is sowing Reciprocation.

Another pretty flower that blows chiefly in March is the Lingerie Plant
(_Frillia Fluffylacea_), which makes a pretty display at exposed corners
during the month. The snowy petals, with their lacelike edges, closely
resemble those of the white carnation.

In Formal Gardens, the Frillia is not encouraged. There is, however, a
variety known as the _Washia_, or Monday Plant (_Laundria Familiensis_),
a weekly bloomer, common in Kitchen and Roof gardens. It is best started
in tubs; but when ready to put out requires strong poles, supported by
which it makes a brave show; but unlike the Hope Vine, it lasts only for
a day or two before drying up.



_Brezia Varia_

AMORIA Family.



_Creditoria Hauntia_


A persistent and knoxious weed which should be stamped out as soon as it
makes its appearance. Thrives in the vicinity of doorways and

[Illustration: NOTES _on_ EXPERIMENTAL WORK]

  _In garden beds of every shape_
  _He planted the seeds on the first of_ AP




This is a very treacherous month for the Gardener. Perhaps the most
characteristic April flower is the April Hope Plant (_Anchoria
Sanguinia_), whose delicate leaves begin to show early in the month.
Though one of the most fragile of plants in appearance, it is possessed
of extraordinary vitality. Were it not for this, it would soon fall a
prey to a capricious but rapacious weed known as the
_April-foolia-Flirtatia Mittifolia_, so called from its mitten-shaped
leaves. This curious plant when in full bloom shows a heart-shaped
flower, so inviting in appearance that unwary people are seized with an
irresistible desire to pluck it. Instead of the anticipated pleasure,
however, they receive a sharp, stinging sensation, not unlike that of a
nettle. As with the Nettle, too, if the flower be firmly grasped and
crushed in the hand, the sting will be deadened. This plant should be
avoided by inexperienced gardeners. It is believed by some that the
sting caused by the _Flirtatia Mittifolia_ may be cured by crushing
another flower of the species and applying it to the wound as a counter
irritant. Another and more reliable cure is a plant called _Newflamea_,
which blooms in May. The seed of this beautiful flower may be sown in
the middle of April, in sheltered places. The constant care and
attention which it requires will be amply rewarded by the beauty and
fragrance of its blossom, which appears with the first May sunshine. The
seed should be kept always on hand, as it can, with attention, be grown
at any time, and has a wonderfully stimulating effect upon its



_Jiltia Mittifolia_

SKIDOO Family.

Some of the failures with this plant have been heartbreaking.



_Dopia Tipfoolia_

JONAH Family

A trailer. Considered unlucky to pick them. Of all the blooming things,
these are the most discouraging. From the many descriptions of this
plant it seems a sort of Horse Chestnut. Its color and form are bad.
Enthusiasts have been known to watch for results for years without one
plant showing. Related to the Hope Plant.]



  "_'Tis spring!" he cried, as a tender spray
  Put out its buds on the first of_ MAY



The Gardener now begins to reap the reward of his toil of the past few
weeks. With the bright blossoms of the Hope Vines and the Newflamea
Plant, the Garden already presents a lively appearance.

A Spring variety of the Aspiration Vine (_Aspira Poetica_) is also in
bloom, and fills the air with an indescribable fragrance. It is not in
any way related to the common or garden Asparagus, as the name might
suggest. The _Aspira Poetica_ is a capricious plant, however, and few
can bring it to perfection; for those who are unsuccessful in its
cultivation a substitute may be found in the familiar Quotation Plant
(_Bartlettia Familiaris_). This, while lacking the freshness of its
Sister Plant, is a showy and reliable Bloomer all the year round. It is
a hardy flower; any one can raise it, care only being required in
selection from many varieties.

Young gardeners should be cautioned against a too great display of these
plants, as some varieties contain a powerful narcotic, which often
causes people to lose consciousness, while in the very act of admiring
their beauty.



Requires a good deal of attention, but is usually a very satisfactory
plant to cultivate.

[Illustration: SPAGETTMENOT

The national flower of Italy.

[Illustration: NOTES _on_ EXPERIMENTAL WORK]

  _A host of flowers of every hue
  Began to bloom on the first of_ JU



June is called the month of roses. Quite the commonest variety known to
Hearticulturists is the Blush Rose. This most delicate and sensitive of
all the flowers in Love's Garden has the astonishing power of changing
color. The faintest whisper of a Spring Zephyr, the hum of a bee, or the
note of a bird will cause it to turn from an ivory pink to the deepest
crimson. Care should be taken in the selection of this variety of roses
as unscrupulous nurserymen often palm off on inexperienced customers a
rank imitation, little better than a weed, known as the Common Rouge or
Make-up Plant (_Pigmentia Artificialis_), a variety of the Puff Blossom.
The imposture may be easily detected, however, by the application of the
water test, a spray of water from a watering can or hose causing the
false rose to turn a chalky white color with red streaks.

Matrimony is a flower much cultivated in June, but it is difficult to
raise, and many gardeners refuse to have anything to do with it. Though
the catalogues advertise highly, we do not recommend it to very young



_Delicatia Varia_






_Ruralia Suburbæ_


In appearance this plant is a sort of combination between the Hayseedia
and the Storeclothesia. A quick growing running vine. Trains everywhere.
To be found all along the railroads. Very plentiful about New York.
Seems to flourish wonderfully in little hot houses.



  _The poor little flowers looked so dry
  He watered them well on the first of_ JY



The Falling-Star Flowers and the Rocket Climbers, two well-known
varieties of the Firewort family, make a beautiful show this month; the
latter especially, which rapidly attains a great height. The Firewort
family are all night bloomers, and related to the _Patriotica
Americana_. Great care must be taken in their raising and plenty of room
allowed for their expansion; for if checked at the time of blooming,
they are very dangerous and sometimes even fatal in their effect.
Children especially should never be allowed to handle them.

The Evening Chaperon is fashionable and useful, but like the Wallflower
should be planted in out-of-the-way places, such as the other side of
the wall or gate.

Perhaps there is no more familiar or popular summer annual than the
common or Garden Hammock plant or _Swingia_ (_Embracia Pendulosa_). It
is seen at its best in the evening, often blooming late; sometimes it is
called the Night-Blooming Serious. Though a composite flower, when at
the full the two heads are often so close as to be mistaken for a single

Another night-blooming plant is the Serenade vine (_Mandolina
Nightbawlia_),--a climber encouraged by some, but regarded by others as
a nuisance. Unlike other vines, it cannot stand wet weather. A sudden
rain, the spray of a hose, even a pitcher of water, will choke it off



_Sitclosia Pendulosa_


For best results should not be planted very close together.



_Mittifolia Curvia_

This must not be mistaken for the



A morning glory.

[Illustration: NOTES _on_ EXPERIMENTAL WORK]

  _With a knife made out of a beetle's claw
  He trimmed his plants on the first of_ AU



There is little work for the Hearticulturist in August. If the Gossip
Weed and Scandalwood have been kept in check, the young Heart Gardener
will have ample time to enjoy the feast of color and sweetness that his
labor and devotion have earned for him.

The gayest note in the color harmony of August is the _Parasolia_. This
beautiful plant, which blooms in every color of the rainbow, abounds in
the hottest weather, and like its sister Sunworshipper, the Sunflower
(whom the poet Moore has immortalized),--

  "Turns to her God when he sets
  The same glance that she turned when he rose."

So faithful, indeed, is the _Parasolia_ in this respect that a
distinguished scientist, formerly superintendent of the National Weather
Bureau, once confessed (in a private interview printed confidentially in
the Evening _Post_) that his success in telling whether or no the sun
were shining was entirely due to his watching the flowers of the

At sunset the _Parasolia_ folds its gayly tinted petals for the night,
giving place to that delicious variety of Night-Blooming Serious, the
Hammock Plant, which may be seen swaying gently in the moonlight often
far into the night.



_Preservia Complexionis_


Opens only when the sun is shining.




One of those strange noisesome car-nervious plants. Makes a weird sound
when game is in sight. Glows at night. A great worry to farmers, as
chickens, pigs, and other animals have been known to die from contact
with this plant.



  _To reach his fruit he had to step
  On a fern-leaf ladder the first of_ SEP



A slight falling off will be noticed this month, especially in the
leaves, and the garden will need the most careful attention. The
Engagement Vines often become very much entangled, so that it is hard to
tell which is which. Straightening them out is a delicate operation, and
in some cases the shears are necessary.

The Heart Trees especially should be watched this month, to guard
against blight.

The Golf Plant (CRAWLIA BRAGADOSIA) a dull though persistent creeper,
related to the Gillieflower, thrives well in September, and indeed in
all the Autumn months. It is much fancied by up-to-date gardeners. Like
the poison ivy, it is quite innocuous to many people, but to some it is
a powerful irritant, causing them to break out in the most violent
manner. From the fruit of this plant is distilled a strong stimulant
called Bogey, highly prized by its cultivators, but looked upon with
contempt by outsiders, who regard the Golf Plant as the greatest pest in
the vegetable kingdom.



_Snoopia Vulgaris_


Grows wild if planted near a window.





(Note the large size of the Pistils.)

[Illustration: NOTES _on_ EXPERIMENTAL WORK]

  _The garden paths were completely blocked
  With engagement vines on the first of_ OCT



The Hearticulturist must bestir himself in October if he desires his
garden to present a bright appearance at the end of the season. He will
find plenty to do, raking up the rapidly falling leaves of the Date

The withered Date Leaves present a mournful appearance, and all traces
of them should be cleaned away as fast as possible, as they impede the
growth of the Fall Engagement Vine. These should be well covered, and
together with the more tender of the Heart Trees taken into the Hot
House at the first sign of a Frost.

Old-fashioned flowers like Yearning and Aufweedersehen or Absence, with
their pensive autumn fragrance and soft colors, add much to the beauty
of the October garden. Yearning, however, though a beautiful flower,
should be well trimmed and kept within bounds, as it has a tendency to
become wild when left to itself, in which state it is a most troublesome



_Whisperia Scandalosia_


A knoxious plant.




A great grafter. Follows the Porch Climber, but seldom appears until it
has quite gone.



  _For fear of frosts he made a stove
  Of glow-worm coals on the first of_ NOV



The Heart Garden would be a dull spectacle in the month of November were
it not for the brave show of the Thanksgiving Bush (_Overeatia
Nationalia_), with its bright turkey-red flower. This together with the
Reunion Plant (_Gatheringea Familiensis_), a species of _Arborvitæ_, of
which the _Smithensis_ and _Jonesia_ are the commonest varieties, forms
the color scheme of the November garden. The Reunion Plant especially,
with its wonderfully intricate and multitudinous branches, shows so many
varieties of color, form, and scent as almost to be a garden in itself.

A much-prized though unobtrusive November flower is the Correspondence
Vine (_Epistolaria Amoris_). This vine flourishes more or less all the
year round, but grows to a great length during the late months of the
year. One variety, the _Clandestina Epistolaria_, is especially shy,
being rarely seen above the ground. This is a particularly sweet
variety, but in Formal Gardens it is not encouraged, as its fruit is
believed by many to be bad in taste and often dangerous in its effect.



_Hot Air Plant_

CUDDLE Family.

A sort of in-door variety of the Hammock Vine.




An artificial plant. Delicious when young. A popular delicacy for late
suppers. Apt to run wild and often can be picked up where one least
expects it. Usually rather expensive to cultivate. Grows in clusters
along the road.

[Illustration: NOTES _on_ EXPERIMENTAL WORK]

  _When the snow came down like a soft white fleece
  He potted his plants on the first of_ DEC



The Hearticulturist may take his well-earned rest in December, as the
few hardy shrubs that venture out this month are well able to take care
of themselves.

Most noticeable of these is the Marrygold, a dwarf growth of foreign
importation, and erroneously supposed to be a sport of the original
Heart Tree. The Marrygold has a showy yellow flower resembling the
Dandelion, to which many believe it related, the petals often taking the
form of a crown or coronet. The leaves are covered with sharp stinging
spines like those of the Nettle, and the odor is most pungent. However,
though a disagreeable plant, it has nevertheless a certain vogue, and
serves to enliven an otherwise dull season.

It is a relief to turn from the pungent Marrygold and the vulgar Push
Vine to the graceful Puff Plant (_Powderminosia Delicatea_). This dainty
flower, though not an out-door bloomer, bears a wintry looking blossom
of snowy white with a rare fragrance. It is an exquisitely feminine
flower, being often seen in ornamental pots in boudoirs or on
dressing-tables, and is eagerly sought after by ladies at fashionable
balls and other gay functions of the jolly month of December.




A showy plant. Great for Hedging. A great deal of time and money have
been spent in perfecting this plant and many a sleepless night in
raising it. Grows very large in pots, but the blossoms are sometimes
slow in opening--sometimes opened by hand--not advisable, however,
unless one has a very sure hand--otherwise it is apt to prove an
expensive experiment. Grows in great variety. In fact, it is seldom a
grower can produce three alike, and if an enthusiast can show four of a
kind it is something to be remembered--sometimes with sorrow. Should be
taken in early or they will freeze out and die. Do not touch with cold

A Word at Parting


In bringing out this little book we feel that we are doing a great
service. We know it is needed; the world has needed it for a long time.
Adam, even, might have been a better gardener had this book been
available. Who can say? Perhaps he would not have had to give up the old
farm and move away, had he had this Almanac to guide him. And then there
are Hero and Leander, Paris and Helen, Abelard and Heloïse, Paolo and
Francesca, and so many, many others--how different it might all have
been had we only published this little book a few thousand years ago! We
are filled with regret. The one consoling thought is that we are better
fitted for the work now. We are older and we think wiser.

From time to time, as we see the need, we shall issue new volumes of
Cupid's Almanac, thoroughly revised and up to date on all matters
pertaining to Hearticulture and its kindred pursuits.

We thank you, Generous Reader, for your patience and your patronage.

                  And beg to remain,
                              Your humble servants,
                                     THE AUTHORS.


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