Three Plays - Lawing and Jawing; Forty Yards; Woofing

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Title: Three Plays - Lawing and Jawing; Forty Yards; Woofing
Author: Hurston, Zora Neale, 1901?-1960
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.

*** Start of this LibraryBlog Digital Book "Three Plays - Lawing and Jawing; Forty Yards; Woofing" ***

generously provided by the American Memory Project of the Library of
Congress (http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/)

Note: These plays have been transcribed from original manuscripts.
There are pencilled notations possibly by Ms. Hurston herself.
These pencilled notations have been transcribed as
*[Handwritten:(text)],
with the exception of things that were clearly corrected typing
mistakes. Uncorrected typographical errors were left as in the
by underscores ("_").

Images of the original pages are available through the
American Memory Collection of the Library of Congress.
For "Lawing and Jawing" see
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/S?ammem/hurstonbib:@field(TITLE+@od1(Lawing+and+Jawing))
For "Forty Yards" see
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/S?ammem/hurstonbib:@field(TITLE+@od1(Forty+Yards))
For "Woofing" see
http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/S?ammem/hurstonbib:@field(TITLE+@od1(Woofing))

THREE PLAYS

Lawing and Jawing
Forty Yards
Woofing

Zora Neale Hurston

LAWING AND JAWING

by Zora *[Handwritten: (Neale)] Hurston

TIME: Present

PLACE: Way cross Georgia

SCENE: Judge Dunfumy's Court.

PERSONS: Judge Dunfumy, Officer Simpson and another, Jemima
Flapcakes, Cliff Mullins, John Barnes, two lawyers,
a clerk, a pretty girl and her escort.

SETTING: Usual court-room arrangement, except that there is a
large red arrow pointing off-stage left, marked
"To Jail."

ACTION: At rise everybody is in place except the Judge.
Suddenly the CLERK looks off-stage right and motions
for everybody to rise. Enter the JUDGE. He wears a
black cap and gown and has his gavel in his hand.
The two POLICEMEN walk behind him holding up his gown.
He mounts the bench and glares all about him before he
seats himself. There is a PRETTY GIRL in the front row
left, and he takes a good look at her, smiles, frowns
at her escort. He motions the police to leave him and
take their places with the spectators and he then raps
vigorously with his gavel for order.

JUDGE
Hear! Hear! Court is set! My honor is on de bench. You moufy folks set
up!
(He glares at the boy with the pretty girl)
All right, Mr. Whistle-britches, just keep up dat jawing now and see
how much time I'll give you!

BOY
I wasn't talking, your honor.

JUDGE
Well, quit looking so moufy.
(to CLERK)
Call de first case. And I warn each and all dat my honor is in bad
humor dis mawnin'. I'd give a canary bird twenty years for peckin'
at a elephant.
(to CLERK)
Bring 'em on.

CLERK
(Reading)
Cliff Mullins, charged with assault upon his wife with a weapon and
disturbing the peace.
(As CLIFF is led to the bar by the
officer, the JUDGE glares ferociously
at the prisoner. His wife, all
bandages, limps up to the bar at the
same time.)

JUDGE
So youse one of dese hard-boiled wife-beaters, huh? Just a mean old
woman-Jessie! If I don't lay a hearing on you, God's a gopher! Now what
_made_ you cut such a caper?

CLIFF
Judge, I didn't go hunt her. Saturday night I was down on Dearborn
Street in a nasty ditch *[Handwritten: nasty ditch crossed out in
pencil, (buffet flat)]--

JUDGE
A nasty ditch? *[Handwritten: A nasty ditch crossed out in pencil,
(Buffet flat)]

CLIFF
Aw, at Emma Hayles' house.

JUDGE
Oh, yes. Go on.

CLIFF
Well,
(Points thumb at wife)
she come down dere and claim I took her money and she claimed I wuz
spending it on Emma.

CLIFF'S WIFE
And dat's just whut he was doing, too, Judge.

CLIFF
AW, she's tellin' a great big ole Georgia lie, Judge. I wasn't spendin'
no money of her'n.

WOMAN
Yes he was, Judge. There wasn't no money for him to git _but_ mine. He
ain't hit a lick of work since God been to Macon. Know whut he 'lowed
when I worry him 'bout workin'? Says he wouldn't take a job wid de
Careless Love Lumber Company, puttin' out whut make you do me lak you
do, do, do.

JUDGE
So, you goes for a sweet-back, do you?

CLIFF
Naw suh, Judge. I'd be glad to work if I could find a job.

JUDGE
How long you been outa work?

CLIFF
Seventeen years--

JUDGE
Seventeen years?
(to woman)
You been takin' keer of dis man for seventeen years?

WOMAN
Naw, but he been so mean to me, it seems lak seventeen
years.

JUDGE
Now you tell me just where he hurt you.

WOMAN
Judge, tell you de truth, I'm hurt all over.
(Rubs her buttocks)
Fact is I'm cut.

JUDGE
Did you git cut in de fracas?

WOMAN
(feeling the back of her left thigh
below her buttocks)
Not in de fracas, Judge--just below it.
(She starts to show the JUDGE where
she has been cut. He motions to stop
her.)

JUDGE
Stop!
(to Officer Simpson)
Grab him. Put him in de shade.

CLIFF
Judge, I'm unguilty! I ain't laid de weight of my hand on her in malice.
You got me 'cused of murder and I ain't harmed a child.

JUDGE
Lemme ast _you_ something. Didn't you know dat all de women in dis town
belongs to me? Beat my women and I'll stuff you in jail. 90 years. Take
'im away.
(CLIFF is led off to jail. JUDGE looks
angrily at the boy who is holding
hands with the pretty girl)
You runs me hot and I'm just dyin' to sit on _yo'_ case.
Whut you in here for?

BOY
Nothin'.

JUDGE
Well, whut you doin' in my court, you gater-faced rascal?

BOY
My girl wanted to see whut was goin' on, so I brought
her in.

JUDGE
Oh yeah!
(Smiles at GIRL)
She was usin' good sense to come see whut I'm doin', but how come _you_
come in here? You gointer have a hard time gittin' out.

BOY
I ain't done a thing. I ain't never done nothin'. I'm just as clean as a
fish, and he been bathin' all his life.

JUDGE
You ain't done nothin', hunh? Well den youse guilty of vacancy. Grab
'im, Simpson, and search 'im--and if he got any concealed weapons, I'm
gointer give 'im life-time and eight years mo'.
(The OFFICER seizes the boy and frisks
him. All he finds is a new deck of
cards. The JUDGE looks at them in
triumph.)
Unh hunh! I knowed it, one of dese skin game jelly-beans. Robbin' hard
workin' men out they money.

BOY
Judge, I ain't used 'em at all. See, dey's brand new.

JUDGE
Well, den youse charged wid totin' concealed cards and attempt to
gamble. Ten years at hard labor. Put him in de dark, Simpson, and throw
de key away.
(He looks at the girl and beams.)
Don't you worry bout how you gointer git home. You gointer be took home
right, 'cause I'm gointer take you myself. Bring on de next one, clerk.

CLERK
Jemima Flap-Cakes, charged with illegal possession and sale of alcoholic
liquors.

JUDGE
(She is a fat, black, belligerent
looking woman. JUDGE looks coldly at
her.)
Well, you heard whut he said. Is you guilty or unguilty? And I'm tellin'
you right now dat you come up befo' _me_ it's just like youse in church.
You better have a strong determination, and you better tell a good
experience.

JEMIMA
(Arms akimbo)
Yes, I sold it and I'll sell it again.
(snaps fingers and shakes hips)
How does ole booze-selling mama talk?

JUDGE
Yes, five thousand dollars and ten years in jail.
(Snaps fingers and shakes hips)
How does ole heavy fining papa talk?
(She is led away, shouting and
weeping)

CLERK
De Otis Blunt, charged wid stealin' a mule.
(LAWYER arises and comes forward with
the prisoner)

LAWYER
You can't convict this man. I'm here to represent him.

JUDGE
Yo' mouf might spout lak a coffee pot but I got a lawyer
(Looks at other lawyer)
dat kin beat your segastuatin'.
(Looks admiring at girl)
How am I chewin' my dictionary and minglin' my alphabets?

LAWYER
Well, I kin try, can't I?

JUDGE
Oh yeah, you kin try, but I kin see right now where he's gointer git all
de time dat God ever made dat ain't been used already. From now on.
(To LAWYER)
Go 'head, and spread yo' lungs all over Georgy, but he's goin' to jail!
Mules _must_ be respected.

LAWYER
(Striking a pose at the bar)
Your Honor,
(Looks at the pretty girl)
Ladies and Gentlemen--

JUDGE
Never mind 'bout dat lady. You talk yo' chat to _me_.

LAWYER
This is a clear case of syllogism! Again I say syllogism. My client is
innocent because it was a dark night when they say he stole the mule and
that's against all laws of syllogism.
(JUDGE looks impressed and laughs)

JUDGE
Dat ole fool do know somethin' 'bout law.

LAWYER
When George Washington was pleading de case of Marbury vs. Madison, what
did _he_ say? What _did_ he say? Scintillate, scintillate, Globule
orific. Fain would I fathom thy nature's specific. Loftily poised in
ether capacious, strongly resembling a gem carbonacious. What did
Abraham Lincoln say about mule-stealing? When torrid Phoebut refuses his
presence and ceases to lamp with fierce incandescence, then you illumine
the regions supernal, scintillate, scintillate, semper noctornal.
Syllogism, again I say syllogism.
(He takes his seat amid applause)

JUDGE
Man, youse a pleadin' fool. You knows yo' rules and by-laws.

OTHER LAWYER
Let me show my glory. Let me spread my habeas corpus.

JUDGE
'Tain't no use. Dis lawyer done convinced me.

OTHER LAWYER
But, lemme parade my material--

JUDGE
Parade yo' material anywhere you wants to exceptin' befo' me. Dis lil
girl wants to go home and I'm goin' with her and enjoy de consequences.
Court's adjourned.

_CURTAIN_

"FORTY YARDS"

ZORA *[Handwritten: (Neale)] HURSTON

"FORTY YARDS"

(A Negro football game with the
popular concept of Negro life)

TIME: Present

PLACE: Washington, D.C.

SCENE: The Ball Park

PERSONS: The Howard and Lincoln teams, the Howard band, cheer
leaders, spectators.

SETTING: The park with grandstands on either sides and up-stage.

ACTION: At rise, the grandstands are full, the cheer leaders
are violently gyrating to whip up the mob. The
Lincoln colors fly from the right. The Howard from the
left. Both have cheer leaders. First is heard the
Lincoln mob singing "DIDN'T HE RAMBLE, RAMBLE."

Lincoln Mob

And didn't he ramble, ramble, ramble all around, in and out of town
He rambled, he rambled, rambled till Ol' Lincoln cut him down

Howard Mob

There'll be nothing but sweetmeats, for our football team
There'll be nothing but sweetmeats for our football team
Baked Hampton, boiled Shaw, fried Union, Lincoln Slaw,
There'll be nothing but sweetmeats, for our football team.

(Enter the HOWARD BAND, led by a
hot-strutting drum major. They parade
the field and the men students pile
down and fall in behind the team.
They sing and shout to the TEAM
SONG:)

This is the t-e-a-m team
On which the hopes of Howard lean
Beat Ol' Hampton, beat Ol' Union
Sweep Ol' Lincoln clean

We are the b-e-s-t best
Of the r-e-s-t rest
Come and watch us put Ol' Howard
On top of Lincoln's chest.

We'll hit the l-i-n-e line
For a hundred ninety-nine
For we love Ol' Howard, yes we love her
All the t-i-m-e time.

(At the conclusion the teams takes
the field. The ball is put into play
and LINCOLN kicks off to Howard. As
the ball is caught and when the
player who is carrying the ball
plunges, followed by his team, the
Lincoln players fall on their knees
and begin to sing I COULDN'T HEAR
NOBODY PRAY. The HOWARD team charges
down shouting Joshua fit de battle of
Jericho. Whenever a player is tackled
there is a duet of dancing. Every
step is a dance. Finally the
grandstand catches fire and the
dancing and the shouting runs riot up
there. When the ball is on Lincoln's
ten-yard line, they hold Howard there
by rounding up both teams into a
huddle and the bunch-shout and sing
to a QUICK CURTAIN.)

CURTAIN

LINCOLN'S PRAYER:

Ah, ah, they shall not ah pass us
Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord
They shall not pass us, Ah-h-h-h.

*[Handwritten (Jul. 21, 1931)]

_"WOOFING"_

_ZORA *[Handwritten (Neale)] HURSTON_

_"WOOFING"_

TIME: Present.

PLACE: Negro Street in Waycross, Ga.

PERSONS: Loungers, two children, guitar
players, women, band--

SETTING: Porch and side walk, etc.

ACTION: Thru the open window of 'one' of
the shacks a WOMAN is discovered
ironing. A MAN is sitting on the
floor of the porch asleep. She
hums a bar or two, then comes to
the window and calls to the man.

Woman
Good Black, why don't you git up from dere and carry dese white folks
clothes home? You always want money but you wouldn't hit a lick at a
snake!

Man
Aw, shut up woman. I'm tired of hearin' bout dem white folks clothes. I
don't keer if dey never git 'em.

Woman
You better keer! Dese very clothes took and brought _you_ out de crack.
'Cause de first time I saw you you was so hungry till you was walkin'
lap-legged. Man, you had de white-mouf, you was so hungry.

(Enter another MAN leisurely. Good
Black sees him and calls)

Good Black
Hey, Cliffert, where you headed for?

Cliffert
Oh, no where in particular.

Good Black
Come here then, fish, and lemme bend a checker game over yo' head. Come
on, youse my fish.

Cliffert
(Comes to the porch and sits)
Git de checkers and I'll have you any, some or none. I push a mean
chuck-a-luck myself.

Woman
(Voice inside quarreling)
Dress up and strut around! Yes! Play checkers? Yes! Eat? Yes! Work? No!!

(The game starts. A period of silence
in which they indicate their
concentration by frowns, cautious
moves, head scratching. GOOD BLACK is
pointing his index finger over the
board indicating moves. He wig-wags,
starts to move, scratches his head
thoroughly, changes his mind and fools
around without moving)

Cliffert
Police! Police! Come here and make dis man move!

Good Black
Aw, I got plenty moves.
(Scratches his head)
Jus' tryin' to see which one I want to make. But when I do move, it's
gointer be just too bad for you.

(A guitar is heard off stage and
Cliffert brightens. He cups his hand
and calls)

Cliffert
Hey Lonnie! Come here! Ha, ha, ha! I got me a fish.
(Enter LONNIE picking "East Coast" on
his box and stands watching the game.
He ceases to play as he stops walking)
Ha, ha! You see ol' Good Black goes for a hard guy. He tries to know
more than a mule and a mule's head longer'n his'n. Ha, ha! I set a trap
for him and he fell right in it. Trying to ride de britches! _Now_ look
at him.

Good Black
Aw, shut up! You tryin' to show yo' grandma how to milk ducks. You can't
beat me playin' no checkers.
(Scratches his head again)
Just watch me show my glory.

Woman
(Leans out of window)
Good Black! When you gointer come git dese clothes!
(He does not answer, he is trying to
concentrate)

Lonnie
You got him Cliffert. You got him in Louisville Loop. He's yo' fish all
right.

Cliffert
(Boastfully)
Man, didn't I push a mean chuck-a-luck dat time! I'm good, better, and
best. Move, Man!
(To Good Black)
I tole you not to do it.

Good Black
All dat noise ain't playin' checkers. You just wait till I make my move.

Woman
All right, now, Mr. Nappy-Chin! I don't want to have to call you no mo'
to come keer dese white folks clothes! I'm tired of takin' and takin'
affa you! My belly's full clear up to de neck. I don't need no lazy coon
lak you nohow. I'm a good woman, and I needs somebody dats gointer give
aid and assistance.

Good Black,
Aw, go head on', woman, and leave me be! Every Saturday it's de same
thing! Yo' mouth exhausting like a automobile. You worse than "cryin'
Emma". You kin whoop like de Seaboard and squall lak de Coast Line.
(Taps his head)
You ain't go all dat b'long to _you_, and nothin' dat b'long to nobody's
else. You better leave me 'lone before you make a bad man out of me.
Fool wid me and I'll go git me somebody else. I'm a much-right man.

Woman
Now you ain't no much right man neither. You didn't _git me_ wid no
saw-mill license--You went to de court house and paid a dollar and a
half for me. Tain't no other woman got as much right to you as I got. De
Man to tell you youse divorced befo' yo' kin play dat much-right on me!

Good Black
De Man don't have to tell me nothin'! I got divorce in my heels.

Woman
You ain't de only one dat knows where de railroad track is, I done made
up my mind, and I done promised Gabriel and a couple of other men dat
if yo' don't do no better than yo' been doin', I'm gointer pack me a
suit case and grab de first smoky thing I see. I'll be long gone.

Good Black
Aw, yo' ain't no trouble! Yo' can be had. Yo' ain't never gointer
leave me.

Woman
How come I won't? Just 'cause I been takin' keer of yo', don't make a
park ape out yo'self. I'll leave yo', just as sure as yo' snore!

Good Black
(Rises and hitches up his trousers)
Aw, yo' ain't gointer leave me, and if yo' go, yo' wouldn't stay, 'cause
I'm a damn sweet man, and yo' know it!

Lonnie
Hey, Hey!
(He begins to pick and Good Black
sings. Lonnie sings a line now and
then)

Good Black
Yo' may leave and go to Hali-muh-fack
But my slow drag will--uh bring yo' back
Well yo' may go, but this will bring yo' back

I been in de country but I moved to town
I'm a tolo-shaker from my head on down
Well, yo' may go, but this will bring yo' back

Some folks call me a tolo-shaker
It's a doggone lie I'm a back-bone breaker
Well, yo' may go, but this will bring yo' back.

Oh, ship on de sea, boat on de ocean
I raise hell when I take a notion
Well, yo' may go, but this will bring yo' back.

Oh, who do, who do, who do wackin'
Wid my hells a' poppin' and my toe-nails crackin'
Well, yo' may go, but this will bring yo' back.

Woman
Dat's all right too, pap but if yo' can't make me tote dese clothes
home, don't bring de mess up. Yo'se abstifically a humbug.

Cliffert
Man, come on back here and move, or else own up to de folks yo' can't
push no checkers wid me.
(He sits and begins to lay out moves
with his fingers and scratch his head.
Enter another MAN and stands akimbo
looking over Cliff's shoulder)

Cliff
(Looking up)
Don't stand over me lak dat, ugly as yo' is.

Man (Skanko)
You ain't nobody's pretty baby yo'self!

Cliff
Dat's all right, I ain't as ugly as yo'--youse ugly enough to git behind
a Simpoon weed and hatch monkies.

Man (Skanko)
And youse ugly enough to git behind a tombstone and hatch hants.

Cliff
Youse so ugly dey have to cover yo' face up at night so sleep can slip
up on yo'.

Man (Skanko)
You look like ten cents worth of Have-Mercy. Yo' face look lak ole Uncle
Jump-off. Yo' mouth look lak a bunch of ruffles.

Cliff
Yeah, but yo' done passed me. Yo' so ugly till they could throw yo' in
de Mississippi River and skim ugly for six months.

Man (Skanko)
Look here, Cliff, don't yo' personate me! Counting from de little finger
back to de thumb--yo' start anythin', I go yo' some.

Cliff
Go head and grab me buddie, but if yo' don't know how to turn me loose
too, don't bring de mess up! If yo' hit me, I may not beat you, but
yo'll be so dirty when St. Peter git yo' dat he can't use yo'.

Man (Skanko)
Don't call _me_ buddy. Yo' buddy is huntin' coconuts. Don't yo' try to
throw me for a nap. Do. I'll kill yo' so stiff dead they'll have to push
yo' down. Yo' gointer to make me do some double cussin' on you.
(He picks up a heavy stick and walks
back towards Cliff)
Now I got dis farmer's choice in my hands, yo' better git outa my face.

Cliff
Yo' wanta fight?

Man
Yeah I wanta fight. Put it where I kin use it and I'll sho' use it. I'll
fight anybody. I get so hot sometimes I fights de corner of de house.
I'm so hot I totes a pistol to keep from gettin' in a fight wid myself.
I prints dangerous every time I sit down in, in a chair.

Cliff
Man, this ain't no fighting weather. Ha, ha, ha! Did yo' think I was mad
sho' nuff? Yo' can't fight me. They's got to be runnin' before fightin'
and they's got to be plenty _good_ runnin' before dis fight comes off.

Man
All right now. Yo' leave me alone and I'm a _good_ man. I'm just like an
old shoe. If yo' rain on me and cool me off I'm soft! If yo' shine on me
and git me hot, I'm hard.
(He drops the stick and exits)

(Cliff is shaking all over. He looks
after the Man to be sure he is gone)

Good Black
Kah, kah, kah. Whut yo' so scarred about? De way yo' was talkin' I
though yo' was mad enough to fight.

Cliff
I was. I gits hot real quick! But I'm very easy cooled when de man I'm
mad wid is bigger'n me.
(He drops into his seat, wiping his
face)
Man did yo' see how he grabbed up dat check? He done skeered me into a
three-week's spasm!

Good Black's Wife
Good Black, dese clothes is still waiting.

Good Black
Well, let 'em wait on, I done tole yo' once. Yo' kind run yo' mouf but
yo' can't run my business.

(Enter a PRETTY GIRL. She strolls
happily across without stopping. Good
Black pretends to cough)

Good Black
Who is dat?

Girl
(Turns and glares at him)
My old man got something for dat cough yo' got.

Cliff
Dat's right, tell dese old mullet hear married men to mind they own
business. Now, take _me_ for instance. I'm a much-right man.
(Gets up and approaches her
flirtatiously)
I didn't quite git yo' name straight. Yo' better tell it to me again.

Girl
My name is Bee Ethel, turned round to Jones.

Cliff
(Flirtatiously)
Yo' pretty lil ole ground angel yo'? Where did yo' come from?

Bee Ethel
Detroit. Yo' like me?

Cliff
Do I lak yo'? I love yo' just lak God loves Gabriel, and dat's his best
angel. Go 'head and say somethin'. I jus' love to hear yo' talk.

Bee Ethel
Gimme five dollars. I need some stockings.

Cliff
_Now_ Mama, dis ain't Gimme, Ga. Dis is Waycross. I'm just lak de
cemetery. I takes in but never no put out. I ain't puttin' out nothin'
but old folks eyes--and I don't do that till they's dead. Run
long, mama.
(The girl exits and he resumes his
seat)

Cliff
Come on, Good Black, lemme wrap dis checker roun yo' neck.

Good Black
Gimme time, gimme time! Don't try to rush me.
(He begins same business of figuring
out moves and scratching his head)

(Enter two or three girls and fellows.
The girls are dressed in cool summer
dresses, but nothing elaborate)

Lonnie
I know I'm gointer play something now.
(He tunes and plays "Cold Rainy Day".
He begins to sing and the others join
in. Not all. But all start to dancing.
They couple off as far as possible and
Lindy. The men unmated do hot solo
steps. The men cry out in ecstacy)

1. Shimmy! If you can't shimmy, shake your head.

2. Look, baby, look! Throw it in de alley

3. Look, if you can't look, stick out, and if you can't stick
out, git out.
(At the end of the son and dance, one
of the girls exclaim)

Girl
Aw, we got to go. Mama's looking for us.
(The three girls exit, walking
happily. The men watch them go)

Cliff
Oh boy, look at 'em! Switching it and looking back at it.
(He imitates the girl's walk)

Good Black
Yeah Lawd, ain't they specifyin'! They handles a lot of traffic.

Cliff
(Seating himself again)
Yeah, but dat don't play no checkers. Come on here, Good Black
and lemme finish wearing your ant.

Good Black's Wife
Good Black, yo' better come git dese clothes.

Lonnie
Good Black, yo' wife kin cold whoop for what she want.

Good Black
Yeah and if she don't git, she keep right on whoopin'. B'lieve
I wants a drink of water. Wisht I knowed where I could slip
up on me a drink.

Cliff
Aw man, come on back here and move. Yo' doin' everythin' but playin'
checkers. You'd ruther move a mountain wid a pry bar than to move
(Points)
dat man.

Good Black
(Seats himself)
Lemme hurry up and beat dis game befo' yo' bust yo' britches.
(He wags his finger to indicate moves,
scratches his head, but doesn't move.
Several men enter and group around the
players. All offer suggestions. One
says, "you got him Cliffert. He's
locked up just as tight as a keyhole".
Another: "Aw, man he kin break out!"
Another: "Yeah, but it'll cost him
plenty to git out of dat trap".)

Cliff
Police! Police! He won't move!

Another Voice
Aw, leave go de checkers and less shoot some crap.

(Enter a WOMAN in a house dress, head
rag on, run down house shoes. She goes
to the edge of the porch and calls
inside)

Woman
Him there Bertha, what yo' doin'.

Woman Inside
Still bumpin' de white folks clothes--hittin' for de sundown man. Come
on in and have some sit down.

Outside Woman
Ain't got time. Got a house full of company. I took a minute to see if
yo' could let me have a little skeeting garret.

Inside Woman
How come yo' didn't git yo'self some snuff whilst yo' was at de store?
De man ast yo' what else. I ain't no Piggly Wiggly. Reckon I kin spare
yo' a dip tho.
(She hands out the box and the outside
woman fills her lip and hands it back)

Outside Woman
Much obliged, I thank yo'. Reckon I better heel and toe it on back, to
see how de comp'ny is makin' out.

Inside Woman
Step inside a minute I want to put a bug in yo' ear.
(She makes an urgent gesture and the
other woman goes inside)

(Lonnie is sitting off to himself and
picking "Rabbit on de Log" softly. A
small BOY dashes on with a lolly pop
in his hand. He is licking it and
laughing. He is pursued by a little
GIRL yelling "you gimme my all day
sucker! Johnny! You gimme my candy,
now!" They run all over the stage. The
men take notice of them and one of
them seizes the boy and restores the
candy to the girl. She pokes out her
tongue at the boy and says "goody,
goody, goody, goody, goody!" She notes
the guitar playing and begins to
dance. The boy makes faces back at her
and dances back at her. The music gets
louder, dancing faster, check board
gets upset. General laughter at that.
When dance is over, boy snatches the
lolly pop again and races away and the
girl runs behind him yelling "Johnny!
You gimme my candy! Johnny!" The music
stops and the crap game gets under
way. Furious side bets for 5 and 10
cents each. Loud calls on Miss "Daisy
Dice", snake eyes, "Ada from Decatur".
Somebody suggests a soft roll, others
object on the ground that it's too
easy for the experts to cheat)

Good Black
Gimme de dice! I'm gointer play 'em like John Henry.

Lonnie
John Henry didn't bother wid de bones. He used to play Georgy Skin.

Good Black
He shot crap too. He played everythin' and everythin' he played, he
played it good. Just like he uster drive steel. If I could whip steel
like John Henry, I wouldn't stay here and nowhere else.

Cliff
Whut would yo' do?

Good Black
I'd go somewhere and keep books for somebody.

Lonnie
I know how to play John Henry.

Good Black
Well, turn it on and let de bad luck happen.
(As Lonnie plays thru a verse warming
up, all the men get interested and
start to hum. Cliffert shouts out)

Cliff
Lawd, Lawd, what evil have I done)
(They sing John Henry. At the close,
the woman who came to borrow snuff
emerges from the house still talking
back at the woman inside)

Woman
He ain't no trouble. I tole him, I says, "yo' must think youse de man
dat made side meat taste lak ham." See yo' later.
(She exits hurriedly. The crap game
goes on until a band is heard
approaching)

Lonnie
Who dead?

Cliff
Nobody. Don't you know de Imperial Elks is goin' to New York to de Elks
Grand Lodge? Yeah, bo, and they's takin' they band. Dat's supposed to be
de _finest_ band in de United States.
(The band approaches followed by a
great crow. The crap game is instantly
deserted and all follow the band)

*** End of this LibraryBlog Digital Book "Three Plays - Lawing and Jawing; Forty Yards; Woofing" ***

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