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´╗┐Title: Brite and Fair
Author: Shute, Henry A. (Henry Augustus), 1856-1943
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "Brite and Fair" ***

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Author of "The Real Diary of a Real Boy"


Cosmopolitan Book Corporation
New York MCMXX

Copyright, 1920 by
Cosmopolitan Book Corporation
All Rights Reserved, including that of translation
into foreign languages, including
the Scandinavian
Printed in U.S.A.


June 2th, 186---sunday nite. i have been to chirch
and sunday school today, not to the unitarial. we
are going to the congrigasional now becaus Keene
and Cele are singing in the quire. so we go there.
i had ruther go to the unitarial becaus Beany and
Pewt go there. Beany blows the organ and sumtimes
he peeks out behine the organ and maiks a
feerful face and maiks everybody laff. once Beany
he thummed his nose to old Chipper Burly. Chipper
he was the sunday school supperintendent and was
beeting time for the scholers to sing and Chipper
he tirned round quick and see Beany, and Chipper
he jest hipered into the organ log and grabed Beany
by the coler and yanked him out of the lof and
wauked him out of the chirch. then he got Micky
Goold to blow the organ and Beany he lost his gob
for 2 sundays, but Micky went to sleep 2 or 3 times
and snoared feerful and they had to waik him up
and once he hollered rite out loud. so Mickey he
lost his gob and they got Beany back. They tride
Pewt and then Game Ey Watson, Beanys brother
but they was wirse than Micky. so they hired
Beany. he is the best and only lets the wind out
one or two times every sunday and the organ sounds
like a goos but that aint so bad as going to sleep
and hollering goldarn it lemme alone is it?

we had a new minister today, miser Larned has
gone away for all summer. the new minister
preeched about not killing flise and buggs and wirms
and bumbelbeas and yeller jacket hornits. he sed
they had a rite to live jest as mutch as peeple and
we hadent augt to kill them. i spose it is all rite
to let a muskeeter or flee or one of them 3 cornered
flise that hangs round a swimmin hole bite you
terrible and not even yip. how about bedbugs.

June 3, 186---today is washing day and i had
to lug about a million pales of water for old mis
Dire, Sams mother whitch comes over mondays.
her hands is all sriveled up they has been in hot
water so mutch. mother she sed that was the reason
when i asted her and father he laffed and sed he
had been in hot water all his life and he wasent
sriveled a bit. mother she laffed two. father aint
sriveled for he weigs 214 lbs. i gess he dident meen
that kind of hot water eether. i am tired most to
deth tonite.

June 4, 186---brite and fair. i went fishing today
with Potter Goram in the morning and was going
again in the afternoon but i dident get home in
time to help them flap flise out of the dining room
and mother woodent let me go to pay me for being
lait. darn it. every day we have to flap flise out
of the dining room. we all grab our flapers and
begin to flap from one end of the room to the other
flaping them into the kitchen. then we shet the doors
and keep them out. it is fun flaping for most always
i can give Keene a good bat in the ear with
a flaper when she aint looking. then she gives me
one on the snoot and then we jest go at it til mother
stops us. she maiks us take tirns now. ferst it is
me and Cele and then it is Cele and Keene. it is
never me and Keen any more. mother says we
fite enuf without fiting when there is china and
crockery and glass round and things to eat two.
ennyway it is tuf on Cele to have to do it all the
time becaus she is good and dont fite.

i told mother what old mister minister sed and
mother she sed that if old mister minister had to
fite flise for every mossel of food he et she gessed
he woodent say mutch about not killing them. Aunt
Sarah she sed so two. flise is wirse this summer.
we have got a new set of fli screnes. little ones for
the butter plates, bigger ones for the sass plates
and some grate big ones for the meat plates and the
cake basket. we had to get them becaus the old
ones was woar out and i took the big one and kept
a young robin in nearly a week and mother maid
me let him go and never wood use the screne again.
we tride to have muzlin screnes to the wiinders but
the cat and the dog jumped through them if the
doors was shet. mother says she dont know what
she will do if the flise get enny wirse.

June 5, 186---it raned last nite. brite and fair
today. it raned hard and the sidewalks was filed
with pudles of water. me and Beany had lots of
fun spatering peeple. the way we do it is this.
when we see sum peeple waulking on the sidewaulks
we run by them fast and stamp hard in the pudles
and the water spaters all over them. we dont do
it to wimmen and girls. but we do to men and
fellers. it is lots of fun to hear them sware. Beany
got 2 bats in the ear and a kick and i got 3 bats
in the ear and 2 kicks. so i beat Beany. one of the
kicks was a peeler. ennyway we had lots of fun.

today all the fellers and girls got a letter from
old mister minister and it had in it a peace of
poetry like this

  do you know how menny flise fli about in the warm sun
  how menny fishes in the water
  god has counted eevry one
  every one he called by naim
  when into the wirld it caime.

there was a lot moar to it but i aint got no time to
wright enny moar of such stuf as that. i showed
it to mother and she said when he got older peraps
he wood know moar.

June 6, 186---clowdy today. jest the day to go
fishing but i had to ho in the garden. if it had raned
i coodent ho the beans becaus if you ho when it is
wet they will be all covered with black specks like
Whacker Chadwick had when he had the measles.
i have et them like that and they taist jest like those
yeller spots in creem tarter bisquit when it gets way
in a corner of your mouth up under your ear on the
inside and you cant reech it with a drink of water.
ennyway it dident rane and i had to ho whitch is
jest my luck. mother let me go at 4 oh clock to
go in swimming with the Chadwicks and Potter and
Skinny Bruce. we had sum fun tying gnots in
Skinnys shert sleev. we bet Skinny coodent swim
across under water and while he was doing it we
wet his shert sleves and tide hard gnots in them.
Skinny coodent unty them becaus he aint got enny
front teeth. most of the fellers can unty gnots
eesy with their teeth but Skinny had to go home
with his shert tide around his neck and his jacket
buttened up tite.

the 3 cornered flise has come and bit Skinny
terrible while he was trying to get into his shert.
i hollered oh Skinny, do you know how meny flise
fli about in the warm sun and Skinny he up and
chased me as far as Gilmans barn and wood have
chased me further but he hadent enny shert on.
i guess if the old minister had heard Skinny sware
he woodent have sed mutch more about flise.

June 7, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today.
tonite the band played in the band room. Ed Tilton
has got a new basehorn. it is auful shiny and almost
as long as he is. Potsy Dirgin played a fife. father
says peraps i can have a fife some day but a cornet
costs two much money. they played a new march
and a peace that mother said was a romanse from
leeclare. mother used to play it. i asked her where
leeclare was and she sed it was a mans name. Cele
can hear a band peace once and play it on the piano
jest as good as they can. i can whistle it all rite but
she can put in the alto and the treble and the base
jest like it is rote.

June 8, 186---brite and fair. not mutch today
only swiming and playing base ball and a fite down
town whitch old Swain and old Kize the poliseman
stoped. tonite we all have to take a bath in the tub
in the kichen. Mother maiks me use soft sope.
the others use casteel sope but mother says soft
sope is the only thing that will get me cleen. it
stings terrible when it gets into a cut or a soar place.
after a feler has been stang with soft sope in a cut
on his hand or on his leg with a nail or a peace of
glass or a tin can he dont care mutch for anything
but a yeller jakit hornit. i had to lug all the water
for the tub and i had to fill it with fresh water for
every one of us. they aint enny sense in that. onct
wood have been enuf. twict wood ennyway.

June 9, 186---Sunday again brite and fair it is
always brite and fair sundays so fellers has to go
to chirch. last nite when Keene was going to bed
we heard sum feerful screaches in her room. mother
and aunt Sarah just hipered upstairs thinking Keene
had tiped over the lamp and was burning to deth
and both hollering for mecy sakes what is the matter.
nothing was the matter only a dorbugg had
flew into her hair and stuck there and scart her most
to deth. mother said she had augt to be ashaimed
of herself. mother give me the dorbugg and i am
going to put it down Beanys back. i bet Beany will

Beany come to our chirch today. they wasnt
eny chirch at the unitarial. in sunday school Beany
spoke a peace about a fli. it said god made the little
fli but if you crush it it will die and then he set
down. the rest of us laffed but the minister told us
it was the best peace of all and it showed that
Elbridge, that is Beany you know, was kind to flise
and insex of all kinds and if we was all like
Elbridge, Beany you know, the wirld woodent have
as mutch mizzery in it. we was all mad with Beany
for showing off and we were going to lam him one
after school let out. he cought a big bumbelbea
whitch had flew in to the window and took sum
wax and hitched a long white thread to the
bumbelbea and let him go and he flew all over the chirch
with that long white thread hanging down like a
kite tail. everybody laffed and the girls screemed
and ducked there heads down and the minister tride
a long while to ketch the bumblelbea and finely he
cought it by the thred and it clim up the thred and
stang him and he sed drat the pesky thing and
snaped his fingers and the bea flew out of the window.
then the minister sed it was natural for the
bea to be scart only he sed terrorfide whitch meens
the saim, and it dident know who was befrending it.
but it was crool to tie a string to him and the boy
whitch done it wood suffer. enny way he sed you
woodent do it wood you Elbridge and Beany he
sed no sir. then Beany he went behine the organ
and we sung oh how happy are we all in our little
sunday school and Beany let the wind out of the
organ 2 times. so we aint going to lam Beany.
ennyway the ministers thum is all swole up.

June 10, 186---i put the dorbugg down Beanys
back. you aught to heard him holler.

June 11, 186---rany and cold. a big black ant
has got 2 nippers and can bite like time. i am going
to put one down Beanys back some day.

June 11, 186---the cat drank sum fli poison today
and dide. we are going to have some fli paper after
this. father says all you got to do is to get sum pich
and spred it on brown paper and the flise will get
their hine legs all stuck up on it and die. so
tomorrow i am going down to the sawmill and scraip
a lot of pich off the ends of the logs.

June 12, 186---brite and fair. today i scraiped
a lot of pich off the logs and then took it home and
tonite father warmed it until it was all runny and
spred it on a lot of sheets of brown linen. it was
awful sticky, i bet it wood hold a cat, then befoar
we went to bed he put 1 in the kitchen sink and 2 on
the table and 2 on the dining room table and 2 in
the setting room, and he hung one up over the sink
to kech flise on the wall. well in the middle of the
nite i heard awful swareing down stairs and heard
father hollering for mother to come down. i set up
and lissened. i gnew it wasent berglers for father
cood nock the stuffing out of enny bergler and if it
was i gnew he woodent let mother come down where
they was dainger. so i lissened and oh time how
father was swareing. i never heard enny such
swareing in my life, and father aint a swareing man.

then i heard mother begin to laff. then i gnew it
was all right. so i lissened. then i heard father say
for god's sake get the sizzers and cut this damn linen
off my head, and mother sed keep still and stop
swareing, and father he sed, i have got to keep still
for i am all stuck up and i had augt to be aloud to
sware. then he laffed. then mother she said i am
afrade i shall have to cut off most of your hair, and
father he sed get hold of the end of it and yank
quick. then i heard him say why dont you pull
a poor cusses head off and she sed i gess i have
jugging by the looks of this linen. it is all covered
with hair. then i heard her cutting with sizzers and
then he sed it is lucky i came down in my shert tale
if i had been dressed i wood have had to go to bed
tomorrow until you went down town to by me a
new sute. you see father had gone down for a
drink of water in the dark and had got into the fli
paper. father had augt to know better than to do
that becaus once he drunk sum water out of a dipper
in the pale in the dark and the nex morning he
found my squirrel drowneded in the pale and he
never gnew whether it was drownded before he
drank or after he drunk and it made him sick to
wonder whitch was whitch. well after a while father
and mother come up stairs again, i cood hear Keene
and Cele gigling in there room and i wanted to
holler do you know how many flise fli about in the
warm sun but i dident dass to. this morning mother
sed that father he sed he forgot all about the drink
of water and dident get it but we aint going to
have enny more fli paper round the house. it was
wirse than having a poliseman with handcufs and

June 13, 186---i am having awful tuf luck with
my hens this year. Miss Dires cat cougt 8 of my
chickings this week. i went over to tell her about
it and have her pay for the chickings and she sed
how did i know it was her cat and i sed it was a
old yeller cat that she had for 2 or 3 years and i
see it runing with a chicking in its mouth. then
she sed it wasent her cat and i sed all right i am
going to kill it with a rock and she sed you better
not kill it if you know what is good for you and i
sed what do you care if it aint your cat and she
sed i will maik it mine if you kill it and you will
wish you was ded if you kill it. so i went home.
then Nellie steped on my best hen whitch was
scraching behine her in the stall and squashed her
almost as flat as a doremat. enny way i have got
to do sumthing about that cat. i wonder what old
mister minister wood do if a cat killed his chickings.
i supose he wood say it is rong to kill a cat and that
a cat had as mutch rite to live as---as---well as old
Mis Dire.

June 14, 186---2 chickings gone today. i let a
rock ding at the cat and jest missed her. i wish i
had a bull dog.

June 15, 186---went in swiming today. 3 times.
The 3 cornered flise are auful and bit like time. i
squashed lots of them and they wont fli about in
the warm sun enny more. I dont cair. me and
Pewt are going to set a trap for the cat. Pewt can
make bully box traps. if he ketches the cat i am
going to give him my collexion of birds egs. it is
werth it. i aint got menny chickings left.

June 16, 186---brite and fair of course. it always
is sunday. i went to chirch sunday and to sunday
school. i wanted to go to the Unitarial but father he
sed no i wood go where he told me to or i coodent
go at all. i thought i had got him there and i sed
all rite i will stay to home and he sed all rite you
can stay to home and stay in bed. so i thougt i had
better go to chirch and i sed all rite i will go to
chirch. i told him as long as we had got a phew in
both chirches someone augt to set in it once in a
while. the minister is going to get up a club to
study insex throug the telescope and to lern us about
their ways. he said beas have queans and droans
and aunts have a government and keeps cows. i
wonder if he xpects us to beleeve that. and flees can
be traned to ride a vellosipede but he dident know
that if you ketch a big grashoper and say grashoper
gashoper gray give me sum molasses and then fli
away the grashoper will give you some molasses.
just think he dident know that and he dident know
that ef you squashed a caterpiller it would rane
before nite. we have all got to join the club. i wish
i had staid in bed.

tonite Pewt come over with a big box trap and
we set it in the hen coop and left the dore open.
i bet we will ketch her. we bated it with a peace of

June 17, 186---Gosh what do you think. we have
caugt that cat. this morning i went to the hencoop
and the trap was sprung. when i shook it a little i
cood hear the old cat growl and spitt. so i nailed
the cover down so he coodent get out and gess what
we done with him. tonite after dark we carried the
box to the deepo and put him on the nite fraight
trane for Haverhill. nobody see us. we wated till
the trane started and then went home. Pewt wanted
to drownd the old cat but i thougt if we did i wood
have to lie about it and while i can lie good if i
have to i had ruther not. and it wood be eesier to
say i dident know ehere the cat was peraps it wood
be in Haverhill and peraps in Boston.

June 18, 186---brite and fair. Gosh what do you
think. the first thing i see this morning was that
old cat setting on Mis Dires steps. i thougt she must
have comeway back from Haverhill but after breckfast
old mother Moulton come over and asted me
if i had seen her cat. she was terrible xcited and
asted me more than 40 questions but i dident know
ennything. Pewt come down and sed she had been
to his house and to Beanys and all over the naborhood.
gosh i bet we caugt her cat and sent it away.
ennyway what rite had her old cat in my hencoop.

tonite me and Pewt set a new trap and bated it
with a fresh sucker. i have got to get the old yeller
cat. one more chickling disapeared to day.

June 19, 186---it raned hard last nite. i gess cats
staid to home and dident go out. this morning the
trap wasent spring. had to ho in the garden after
it dride up. toniet we put a big shiner in the trap
for bate.

June 20, 186---we cogt that old cat today. i know
it was her this time becaus when the cover come
down it pinched her tale and there was a bunch of
yeller hair in front of the trap. tonite we put the
trap on the fraight trane and that is the last of
that old cat. old mother Moulton is still hunting
for her cat. i wonder if the 2 cats will know eech
other when they meet in Haverhill. i xpect mis
Dire will be over tomorrow to find out where her
old cat is. i dont know where she is. i havent hit
her or killed her and i dont know what has become
of her.

June 21, 186---brite and fair. today i saw that
old cat again. i wonder whose cat we cought. i had
to pay Pewt 10 cents for his traps. we set another
for tonite.

June 22, 186---awful hot today. i dident ketch
that cat. i went fishing today for some cat bate.
went in swimming 5 times. got some good shiners.
i have found out whose cat we sent to Haverhill
the last time. there was a peace in the Exeter
News-Letter whitch sed. lost a valuble black and
yeller striped tiger cat. a grate pet. had on a red
satin bow. a suteable reward will be paid for
infirmation as to whareabouts. A. P. Blake. gosh A.
P. Blake is Mager Blake who owns the Squamscot
Hotel. I know that cat. i wish me and Pewt
gnew some peeple in Haverhill peraps we cood get
the reward. tonite i paid Pewt another ten cents
and we set another trap. i wonder whose cat we
will get nex time.

June 23, 186---brite and fair, i never knew it to
rane sunday. cougt another, dont know whose cat
it is. if we open the cover the cat will gump out and
if we dont sum body elces cat may get sent Haverhill.
ennyway enny cat whitch is cougt in my hencoop
has got to take chances.

tonite we sent it away on the trane. we almost
got cougt putting it on. went to chirch and sunday
school. Beany has got his gob back at the unitarial
and has went back there, so there wasent enny fun.
i heard old Mis Dire calling her cat tonite for most
an hour. i guess we got that old cat at last.

June 24, 186---Mis Dire was calling her cat this
morning. she come and did the washing today but
she dident say ennything about her cat but i think
she was uneezy and she looked at me sort of hard.
i bet she thinks i have killed her cat.

June 25, 186-- today old Mis Dire come over. i
was in the shed and i saw her go waulking stiflegged.
after a minit or too mother called me. i pertended
i dident hear her and kept on spliting wood, then
she come out and told me old Mis Dire sed i killed
her cat and wanted to ast me some questions and
mother sed now if you have killed her cat tell the
truth. i sed i anit killed it or hit it or drowneded
it and i dont know where it is. so we went in. old
Mis Dire was there mad as time and she sed now
Harry Shute i want to know what you have did with
my cat and if you lie to me, then mother sed
quick ome moment Misses Dire if you are going to
ast him enny questions you have got to do it in a
different way if you xpect enny anser. mother she
looked at old Mis Dire and old Mis Dire looked at
mother mad as time but mother had a kind of funny
look in her eyes not a mad look but a kind of look
that made old Mis Dire back water prety quick.
then old Mis Dire sed you throwed a rock at my
cat last week and i sed yes i did and i wish i had
hit hir and killed her but i dident. then she said
you and that misable Watson boy and that jalebird
of a Purinton boy have drowned my cat and i sed
i dont know about them but i dont beleve they done
it becaus they dident have enny chickings but hope
to die and cross my throte i havent seen your cat or
hit your cat or drowned your cat and i dont know
where she is i honest dont. old Mis Dire asted me
more than 40 questions and after a while she went
home. she was pretty grumpy and sed sumbody
had got to pay for her cat but i guess she desided
i dident know ennything about it. she went over
to Pewts and to Beanys but dident find out ennything.

Mother she was glad i told the truth and i did
dident i? i dident hit her old cat, or killed it or
drowned it or see it and i dont know where it is.
mother told father about it when he come home
from Boston and father sed dam her old cat. i
wont have you bothered about her old cat. i wood
have told her to go to the devel. mother laffed and
sed no you woodent George you wood have felt bad
and pitted her as i did. she is a poar old woman
and it is two bad for ennyone to kill her pet cat.
ennyway that is over and i aint got to wurry over
my chickings enny more. i wish i dassed tell father
about it but i am afraid father wood tell mother for
a goke and if mother dident think it was rite she
wood make me go to Haverhill or Boston and hunt
for them 3 old cats. father i know wood laff his
head off but i dassent tell him. 3 old cats sounds
like a base ball game dont it. ennyway me and Pewt
made 3 home runs dident we.

June 26, rany. dident do ennything today.

June 27, 186---i havent wrote ennything about
school becaus i dident like school and dident like to
think about it. the fellers is all rite and we have
sum fun playing base ball and foot ball and corram
and duck on a rock and nigger baby. but we have
to study like time and they aint hardly enny fites
becaus if 2 fellers has a fite old Francis licks time
out of them and recess aint very interestin if they
aint enny fites. school closes tomorrow and i am so
glad i dont know what to do. i gess old Francis
wanted to celibrait today for he licked 9 fellers.
Skipy Moses for paisting Medo Thirsten in the eye
with a spit ball and Chitter Robinson for not
singing in tune and he cant if he wanted to so what is the
sence of licking him i dont see and Pewt for putting
a carpit tack in Pheby Taylors seat. Pheby he is a
feller you know and when he set on it he gumped
up lively and let out a yell. Pheby dident tell he
aint that kind of a feller but old Francis seamed to
know it was Pewt and snached him bald headed in
two minits and Whacker Chadwick for wrighting a
note to a girl and Pozzy Chadwick for maiking up a
face at him when he was licking Whack and Bug
Chadwick for telling him to stop when he was licking
Pozzy. the Chadwicks all got licked the same
day. it aint the ferst time eether by a long chork
and Skinny Bruce for drawing sumthing on the
school house fence that hadent aught to be drew and
Pacer Gooch for calling Gran Miller a nigger and he
is a nigger whitch dont seem rite to me and Human
Nudd, his name is Harman but we call him Human
for wrighting with a squeaky slate pensil. he hadent
enny other. i gess old Francis gnew this was his
last day for licking for he never licks on Xibition
day but is as nice as pye.

June 28, 186---Gosh school is over. i cant hardly
beleeve it. lots of peeple come in today and of
course all the good boys and girls spoke peaces and
direlogs and done xamples on the blackboard. Huh
i am glad i am not a good scholar and a faveret of
the teecher. last of all we give old Francis a silver
pensil on a chane. the wirst of it was i had to
chip in ten cents. the Chadwicks give a dollar.
Whack sed that if he had gnew that they were all
3 going to be licked yesterday they wood have spent
the dollar and woodent have given nothing. they
needed that dollar two. ennyway school is out till
September hurray.

June 29st. i just took it eezy to-day. the ferst
day of vacation always seams to me like when
you find a five cent peace in a pair of your last years
britches. you can spend it for ennything you want
and you havent got to save it or put it in your bank
or by sumthing that you need. so yesterday after
school closed i split up wood enuf for today and
sunday, and today i just dident do nothing. a man
and 2 wimen hired my boat and wanted me to row
them up river but i told them i had a weak arm.

one of the wimen said poar boy what is the matter
with it and i sed it dident know but it trubles me a
good deal. then the other one sed whitch arm is it
and i sed the right one and she sed you must be
lefthanded and i sed yes i am a little. i lied about
that but i dident lie about my week arm or about
my truble with it. both my arms is week. if they
wasent i cood lick Pewt and it trubles me becaus my
arms is so skinny. the fellers laff at my legs two.

well the man hired my boat and i went with them
and the man rew all the way and i had a good time
only i had to be cairful to keep my right hand in
my jacket pocket most of the time and point out
things to them with my left hand. ennyway i cood
row with one hand better than that man cood
with too. he splashed and cougt crabs and once
his heels went up and he went rite over on his back
the wimen laffed and he laffed two.

June 30, 186---brite and fair. i gnew it wood be.
we had a new minister today. old mister minister
preeched sumwhere elce but he come back in the
afternoon to sunday school and started his club.
everybody had to join. most of the fellers dident
want to. Chick Chickering says he is glad he dont
go to our chirch becaus if he did he coodent colect
enny more butterflise and kill them with ether and
stick them in a box with a pin. Chicks father is a
minister two and he goes fishing and birdseging
and butterfliing with Chick. i am glad my father
isent a minster but if he was i wood want him to be
like Chick Chickerings father. Gosh i always laff
when i think of father being a minister.

he woodent be getting up clubs to save the lifes
of flise and snaiks and intch wirms and moth millers
and cockroches, but he wood gnock enny feller pizzle
end upwards that raised time in chirch. today we
had to a sine a book and pay five cents and promise
not to take the life of animal or bird or reptil or insex.

Pop Clark asked what a feller had augt to do if a
mad dog come down the street fomeing at the mouth
and biting and taring rite and lef, or if a poizen
adder or ratlesnaik coiled round your hine leg. the
minister sed if it caim to be a question of the life of
a human being or of an animal or a reptil of coarse
the life of a human being shood be spaired. so he
has got sum sence but not mutch.

June 31, 186---i ment July 1, brite and fair. hoap
it wont rane on the 4th. jest as soon as vacation
comes i have a lot of gobs to do. spliting wood and
going errands and cleening out the cellers and the
barn and wirking in the garden. i woder what
peeple think a vacation is for. i try to do evrything
mother wants becaus in 3 days it will be the 4th.

July 2, 186---only 1 day after this before the 4th.
i went up to Pewts today. he has borowed Harris
Cobbs cannon. it is an old lunker. Pewt says if
you put in six fingers of powder and wads and then
fill it to the muzle with grass and ram it tite it will
shaik the winders all over town.

July 3, 186---tomorrow is the 4th. i am going to
get up at 3 oh clock. father says that is the erliest
and if i get up one minit before that i wont go out
at all. it seams to me 3 oh clock is prety lait. sum
of the fellers stay out all nite.

July 5. brite and fair. i was so tired last nite that
i coodent wright. i dident go to bed until nearly
leven and i got up at 3 oh clock. it was the best 4th
i ever had. Pewt's cannon xploded the ferst time.
we loded it to the muzle and put the muzle rite
agenst the stone step of old Nat Weeks house. then
we lit the fusee and run. i gess it is lucky we done
it for there was a feerful bang and a big flash jest
like when litening strikes a tree rite in front of your
house and a big hunk of that cannon went rite
throug old Bill Greenleafs parlor winder and took
sash and all and gnocked a glass ship in a gloab that
the glassblewers blowed into forty million peaces
and gnocked a big hunk out of the marbel top table
and sent the things on the whatnot all over the room.

Bill he come downstairs in his shert tale and
hollered and swore so you cood hear him fer eigt miles
eesy. me and Pewt and Beany hid behine Pewts
fathers paint shop and lissened. Nat Weeks he
come out and old printer Smith and old Bill Morrill.
Old Ike Shute dident. i gess he dident dass to. we
cood hear them talking it over and cood hear Bill
holler and sware and Bills wife say mersy sakes
aint this dredful. they thogt it must have been did
by Flunk Ham and Chick Randall or the Warren
boys, all big fellers becaus they sed it must be big
fellers to have sutch a big cannon. so me and Pewt
and Beany clim over Fifields back fence and went
down town throug Spring street.

Beany set fire to a bunch of fire crackers in his
poket and birnt him so he can only sit down on one
side. Fatty Melcher stumped Pewt to hold a
firecracker in his mouth and let it go off. it is eezy
enuf. all you have got to do is to put the end
between your teeth and lite the other end and shet
your eys. it will go off and burst in the middle and
all you will get is a few sparks that dont hurt mutch.
but this one was a flusher and it flushed at the end
whitch was in Pewts mouth and a stream of sparks
went rite down Pewts gozzle. you would have
dide to see Pewt spitt and holler and drink water.
he drank most a gallon and he wont speak to me
becaus  laffed.

All the Chadwicks got birned when they was blowing
up old Buzell's fence posts, they was lots of
fites down town and a house on Franklin Street and
a barn on Stratam road birned up. it was the
best 4th i ever gnew. Father sed about 2 more 4ths
and he wood go out of bisiness.

i sed 2 4ths is eigt and he sed dont you try to be
funny. if you do you will get a bat in the ear. so
i shet up. when father says that it is about time
to shet up.

July 6, brite and fair. saterday again. it is
funny when i am in school i am crasy for it to be
saterday but when it is vacation i hate to have
saterday come. it means 2 things that aint very
good. one is that another weak of vacation has
gone and the other is that the next day is sunday
both of whitch is prety tuf. tonite me and father
went in swimming at the gravil. we had a good
swim and then we floted down river. it was warm
and the treetoads was crokeing and a peewee was
peeweeing high up in a elm tree and bats was fliing
and it was fine. evry now and then a fish wood
splash or a mushrat dive.

when we got home all the folks was setting on
the front steps and we got talking about the
doodlebug club. father he calls it that. father sed they
aint no fool like a dam fool and sed that once when
he was in school his teecher old Ellis the father of
Rody Ellis that i went to school to used to paist
time out of the fellers jest for nothing. so the
fellers they got prety sick of it and one day Jim
Melcher and of coarse father, he and Jim Melcher
always went together and Charles Taylor two
and Oliver Lane and 2 or 3 others went out and
batted down about a pint of bumblebeas with shingles.
they got stang 2 or 3 times a peace but no
feller minds being stang in a good caus. so the
next day they went to school erly and poured all
them ded beas in his old lether seat.

well old Ellis come in and rung the bell and sed
prair and paisted time out of 2 or 3 fellers for
exercise and toar the sherts off 2 or 3 others for old
acquantence saik so father sed and then he set down
hard in his chair and more than forty of the stings
of them ded bumblebeas riggid in deth so father
sed ran rite into him. well he let out a yell you
cood have heard at Hampton Beach and gumped

rite over his desk and run out of the school house
howling and holding hisself in both hands and
sweling up feerful in grate aggony. and father he
sed he was stang in forty seven places and swole up
so that they had to get old killpigger Haley i mean
pig killer Haley to get his briches off with a
skining knife.

i wonder if old mister minister wood like
bumblebeas if we done that to him.

July 7, rany as time. i thought i woodent have
to go to chirch but what do you think it cleered up
and the sun come out a hour before chirch. how is
that for tuf luck.

July 8, rany not hard but drissly. i wood have
went fishing today but there was a thunder shower
this morning and fish wont bite after thunder but
go down in deep holes and lay still. this afternoon
we had the meating of the club. the minister talked
lots and ansered questions. i asted him if we had
aught to tare down spiders webs becaus they kiled
flise. he sed yes then i asted him if the spider
woodent starve to deth if he coodent ketch flise.
then he sed spiders was sumtimes poizinus and i
asted him if he had ever been bit by a horsefli. then
we had speeking and Beany spoke his peace about

  god made the little fli
  but if you crush it it will die

and then my sister Cele spoke the peace

  do you know how meeny flise
  fli about in the warm sun

and the minister clapt his hands and we all did two.

then Tomtit Thompson sed he had a new peace
about insex and the minister asted him to speak it
and Tomtit dident want to, but the minister sed he
had aught to be willing to help out in a good caus.
Tomtit he sed he was afrade the minister woodent
like it but the minister sed he was very sure he
wood like it and so Tomtit he stood up and made a
bow and sed his peace and it was jest bully.

  now i lay me down to sleep
  while the bedbugs round me creap
  if one should bite before i waik
  i hope to god his jaw will braik

and what do you think the minister he got mad and
told Tommy he was a bran from the birning and a
apostate. i thought they wasent but 12 apostates
ever and wasent enny now but that is what he called
Tommy and he throwed him out of the club by the
ear, wisht it had been me.

Well after Tommy had went the minister talked
to us about how wicked it was for Tommy to use
the name of god in sutch a conexion. I asted him
why it was wicked to use it in conexion with a
bedbugg when it wasent wicked to use it in conexion
with a fli like Beanys peace and my sister Celes and
he sed one was used in the spirrit of love and the
other in the spirrit of hate. then we sung a hynm
and went home. i wish i was Tomtit Thompson.

July 9, 186---brite and fair. gosh what do you
think. the committy of the chirch came to our
house today and asted mother if she wood have the
minister to supper as it was her tirn. mother sed
certenly i wood be very glad to entertain him. after
the committee left i sed gosh mother you told a
awful whacker to them old wimmen when you sed
you wood be glad to do it dident you. mother she
laffed and sed peraps it woodent be as deliteful as it
mite be but she wood try hard to be glad to do it
and if i wood do my part and all the rest wood we
cood give him a good supper and it woodent hurt
us to do it. so we have all got to duff in.

July 10, it is going to be a weak from Friday nite
that the minister is coming. Friday nite is the nite
they have prair meeting and he will have to go prety
soon after supper so he wont be there very long.
aunt Sarah she sed what if he invites us to go and
mother she sed she gessed father wood have a prety
good xcuse ready. she never gnew him to fale.
mother sed that 10 days wood give her time to get
ready. we have all got to wirk. then mother sed
she wood have to warn father not to say ennything
tuf and warn the children not to speak when the
minister was saying grace and not to notice the new
napkins and thing like that and that she had got
to sweep evry room and wash all the winders and
rub up the silver and the caster and the caik baskit.

when father come hom tonite mother she told him
about having the minister to supper and father sed
gosh what for. and mother she sed George that is
a nice way to speak about a minister and father he
sed why can't you let me take him down to old Eph
Cuttlers and get him a stake and sum fride potatoes
and about 4 fingers of fusil oil whiskey and it wood
do him a pile of good. mother she sed i am ashaimed
of you George for talking so. why cant you take
it serius and father he sed it is serius ennuf and i
am trying not to burst into teers over it. honest if
you wood let me take him to Hirveys resterant it
wood save you a lot of truble. but mother sed no
we must do our part and father he sed gosh he
suposed so but it was tuf. then father he sed i
suppose you wont dast to bat out the flise if he
comes. then Beany hollered for me and i dident
hear eny more.

July 11, brite and fair. i have got an idea. me
and Pewt and Beany are goin to talk it over tonite.
we are going to have chicken and gelly and hot
bisquit and custereds and cold ham and cookys and
whips and lots of other things for supper friday
nite. Keene and Cele are going to sing shall we
gather at the river and theres a chirch in the valley
by the wild wood. father wanted them to sing little
brown gug how i love thee and we'll all drink stone
blind when Johnny comes marching home and Sally
come up Sally come down Sally come twist your
heal around the old man has gone to town Sally
come up in the middle but mother sed no they must
sing good chirch songs.

July 12, Keene and Cele and i washed the winders
upstairs today. i had to lug about 2 million pales
of water. i asted mother what was the use of
washing the upstairs winders for him as he wasent
going to stay over nite. father he sed if we fed him
two mutch he mite have the collick and have to be
put to bed and perhaps stay 2 weaks. he sed we
must be cairful and not feed him to hy.

July 13, brite and fair, we washed the downstairs
winders today. darn the minister ennyway.

July 14, brite and fair of coarse. sunday went to
chirch of coarse, also sunday school. more tuf
luck. the minister cant come Friday but will come
Thirsday so he will have a hoal evening with us.

July 15, had to raik up the yard. i aint been
fishing hardly this summer. darn the minister.

July 16, or ennywhere else eether. today i had to
cleen the barn and woodshed and pile the wood up
neet. i wonder who they think is entertaneing the
minister ennyway. darn him to darnation. i hoap
nobody will ever see this diry.

July 17. we are all nerly ded. mother and aunt
Sarah has been cooking all day. Keene and Cele
have been practising hynm tunes and i of coarse
have did most all the wirk. Pewt and Beany come
over tonite and fixed up what we shall do to the
minister. jest you wait and see old mister minister.
i bet mother wil be glad and Aunt Sarah two.
Tomorrow the minister comes. i bet he will wish he

July 18, brite and fair. we have had a grate time.
i never had sutch a time in my life. i gess nobody
ever did befoar. everyone is in bed xausted but
me. they think i am in bed but i am wrighting this.
last nite me and Beany and Pewt talked over what we
shood do to the minister. i told them what father
done to old man Ellis and Pewt wanted to do that
but i thot perhaps i mite not get the rite chair to put
the bumblebeas in and if father set on them i mite
as well run away to sea. then peeple has been knowed
to tare off their britches when they are stang by
the hornits and bumblebeas and if the minister done
that it would be very mortifiing to my mother and
my aunt Sarah and my sisters Keene and Cele.

so we desided that woodent be proper althoug we
wanted to like time. then Beany wanted to put a
live snaik in his hat, but we desided the snaik wood
scare mother and my aunt Sarah and my two sisters
to deth. then Pewt he sed less dig up some of those
red stink wirms behine the barn and put a handfull
in his hat. you know they smell so that you have
to use soft soap and sand and scrub your hands 2
or 3 days before you can get it off. so neether of
us wanted to tuch one.

then i sed mother is going to set the table and
put on all the chicken and gelly and butter and cake
and creem and everything and cover them with the
fli screens and shet the doors and have nobody go
in until super is ready. super is to be at six and she
is going to have evrything ready at five and then
they are all going upstairs and dress up in their
best and curl Celes hair and ty up Keenes hair with
a red ribon becaus her hair wont curl and dress
Georgie and Annie and Frank and the baby and maik
father put on a cleen coler and shert and black his
boots and promise to be cairful not to say ennything
that would shok the minister, so i sed less go in the
kitchen and ketch about 2 million flise and put them
under the fli screnes, and they sed i was a buster
to think it up.

well at five oh clock the table was all set and it
looked fine. i never see it look so good. so after
the folks had went up stairs me and Pewt and
Beany clim into the kitchen and cougt a bushel of
flise and tiptode into the dining room and lifted up
the screnes and put them under. after we had prety
near filled the screnes we tiptode out.

well father he came home and swoar when he
had to put on a cleen shert and coler and i blacked
his boots. i have to do evrything of coarse. that
is what i am for so evryone thinks. mother had
on her black silk dress with some lase round her
neck and Aunt Sarah two and the girls was all
dressed up and father two and they all looked fine.
mother looked the best. she always does and Aunt
Sarah the next. Keene sed i hadent blacked the
back part of my shoes and that wasent enny of her
business and so i told her to shet up and she made
a face and run out her tung. then father he sed
now if you two children begin enny of that you
will go to bed lifely. so we both shet up. well we
wated and wated and the minister dident come and
we wated sum more and the minister dident come
and i got scart, becaus if he dident come the folks
woodent see the goke and i wood get time paisted
out of me. well finally the bell rung and Cele went
to the door. Keene was mad because she coodent
and she started to run out her tung at Cele and then
she remembered what father sed and she stoped
just in time.

sure enuf it was the minister and he sed he was
delade because he had to reprove thoughtless boys
whitch were ketching small and innosent fish with
sharp hooks. father whispered to me that is a hell
of a reeson for keeping a man starving to deth and
i laffed but nobody paid attension to me. well they
all shook hands with the minister and Cele made a
curtsy and sed tea is ready and we all marched out
into the dining room mother and the minister first,
then father and Aunt Sarah and then Keene and
Cele and then the little ones and Georgie and i come
last as i always do when there aint enny wirk to do.

well as soon as they got in i herd them all draw
a long breth and then Aunt Sarah sed for mersey
sakes and mother she sed for heavens sake and father
he sed for goddlemity sakes and the minister he sed
my greef what a disgusting site. well you cood
hardly see the things to eat they was so covered
with flise. then i winked at mother and sed

  god made the little fli
  and if you crush it it will die

and then i winked again but mother she dident laff
back and father grabed me by the neck and sed did
you do this devilish thing and he shook me till i
cood hardly say yes, when mother made him put
me down. then she sed what did you do sutch a
dredful thing for and when i heard her voice i
woodent have did it for a $1000, and i sed becaus
the minister was all the time preeching not to kill
flise and mother and all of us was all the time more
you dident kill them the more you had to flap out
and it got so that you dident dass to eat a piece of
currant cake or blewbery bred for feer it wasent what
you thought it was and mother she sed and then i
stoped quick for i dident want to get mother in a
scraip but she sed go on and tell it all.

so i sed she sed that if the minister had to fite
with about leven milion flise evry day in summer
for evrything he et or drank she bet he woodent
preech god made the little fli and then the minister
he sed but my dear boy god did make the little fli
dont you reelise that and i sed and god made swallows
and kingbirds and leest flicatchers and spiders,
what have you got to say about that. i had him
there but father sed no imperdence young man tell
us all. so i went on and told all about it, what
Pewt sed and what Beany sed and what i sed and what
we done. 2 or 3 times father had to coff awful and
wipe his eyes. he sed he got sum pepper up his
nose some how he dident know how. when i finished
father sed you go to your room and i will see you
laiter. so i went up stairs and wated a auful long
time afrade father wood come up and lam time out
of me. well bimeby Cele come up and sed very
solum father wants to see you down stairs in the
dining room. so i went down and there they all
set at the table with a new super ready and the flise
all flaped out. all but the minister. father he sed
sit down boy and have sum super and i sed aint
you going to lick me and he sed not if i know myself
and i sed where is the minister and father he sed
he has went home mad. i tride to get him to stay
and eat super with us and i tride to get him to go
to Hirvey's resterant and he asted me if i was going
to punish you and i sed that was a matter between
the boys mother and father and i gessed they wood
have to settle that themselfs and the minister was
mad and woodent stay.

mother she sed i dont think he was mad George,
i think he was hert. father he laffed and sed well
if i had acted so i wood have been mad but a
minister was hurt. ennyway he will lern something
some day i hoap. then he filled up our plates and
we et and et and et and father told the funiest stories
i ever heard. we laffed so we cood scarcely eet.
that nite after i had went to my room father he
come up to my room and opened the door and sed
Harry are you awaik. i had heard him coming and
put out the lite and gumped into bed. i sed yes sir
and he sed

  god made the little fli
  and if you crush it it will die

and then he shet the door and went to bed.

July 18, 186---i bet that old minister wont come
to our house again verry soon. we are going
back to the unitarial chirch. they have got a new
quire there and Keene and Cele are going to sing in
the unitarial quire. it will seem kind of good to be
there again, and there aint enny meeting in the afternoon
only sunday school. i dont cair mutch about
sunday school becaus they dont lern us mutch there.

today i rode horseback with Ed Tole. he has got
a little red pony not as big as Nellie. it can go like
time. Ed rides it without a sadle. when i ride
without a sadle and sturups it nearly splits me in too,
and hirts my backboan. today we raced. Nellie can
trot faster than Eds but Eds can run faster. i
woodent swap ennyway.

July 19, 186---hot as time. today i met my uncle
Robert. he aint my uncle Robert but is my fathers
uncle. he is my great uncle so mother says. he
aint half so big as my father. he is my grandfathers
brother. my grandfather is dead. my uncle
Robert aint quite. father says he is dead but dont
know it.

well ennyway i met him and said how do you do
uncle Robert and he sed whose boy are you and i
sed i am George Shutes boy and he sed huh i hoap
you will maik a better man than your father. i
wanted to say sumthing sassy to him but if i had
sed what i thought father wood have lammed time
out of me. father always licks me for mispoliteness
and imbehavior, so i jest looked at him scornful
and tirned my back on him. he had went along so
peraps he dident see me. i hoap he did. i bet my
father is 5 times as good as uncle Robert. i asted
mother and she sed i supose sum peeple wood say
uncle Robert is best but i dont quite like his kind.
i told father what uncle Robert sed and father laffed
and sed i must not blame uncle Robert becaus after
he was born they dident find it out for several weeks
and so he got a bad start and hadent never cougt up.
i wonder if that is true or one of fathers gokes
i can always tell.

then father sed that Isac was a grate trile to uncle
Robert he was so tuf, and Aunt Sarah she sed why
George Shute you know that Isac never did a rong
thing in his life and father sed no i gess he dident
but if he had been aloud to go with me and Gim
Melcher and Charles Talor and the rest of the boys
we wood have made a man of Ike.

July 20, 186---father has bougt 2 sheep. mother
sed what in the wirld do you want 2 sheep for and
father he sed he got them cheep becaus they dident
have enny lamns in March. father says they may
have sum enny time now and i must keep my eye

I have wrote a poim about our sheep.

  my father he has got 2 sheep
  he got them most almity cheep
  but if them sheep dont have no lamns
  he'll fill the air with feerful damns.

ain't that a pretty good poim. i bet Pewt coodent
wright that or Beany eether.

July 21, brite and fair. i dont cair this time for
it seems good to go to the Unitarial once more. i
bet Beany is glad. i bet Pewt is two. i staid in
the barn until chirch time feeding my sheep. Keene
was mad and sed i smelt awful barny. Keene feels
prety big becaus she aint got to set in the same phew
with me. Beany got stang by a hornet in the organ
lof and one side of his face was all swole up. evry
time he wood look out everybody laffed. so after
chirch old chipper Burly told him he coodent blow
the organ ennymore becaus he made faces and made
the peeple laff. so Beany has lost his gob again.
it was two bad becaus Beany coodent help it. we
are going to get up a partition to get Beany back.

July 22, 186---brite and fair. it is feerful dusty
now and when we go across the street we stamp our
feet and the dust comes up all over evrything. it is
lots of fun when peeple are near you. went in swimming
4 times.

July 23. brite and fair. i had tuf luck today.
first i got kept in the yard becaus i stamped some
dust on 2 girls whitch was going down town in white
dresses. mother heard them jawing me and come out
and made me beg there pardon and she give them
a brush and dusted them off and told me to stay in
the yard all day. then this afternoon i dident have
mutch to do xcept ho the garden. all the fellers
was away fishing or swimming or buterfliing, so i
dident have much to do and when old John Quincy
Adams Polard went by all humped up over his cain
i was picking buggs off the tomatoe plants and i jest
coodent help it and let ding 2 joosy red tomatoes
at him, the ferst whized by his head and he looked
around jest in time to get 2th rite in the eye. well
it squashed all over his face and he began to sware
and to lam round with his cane and claw the tomatoe
out of his eyes. then he come rite back to our
house and i squat down behine the tomatoe plants.
i was in a corner and coodent get out and he made
for me with his old cain. i hollered for mother and
she come out and stoped him after he had given
me 2 bats and nocked down 3 tomatoe plants. well
mother took him into the house and got sum water
and towels and washed his face and promised to have
his shert washed. then i had to beg his pardon.
that made twice in one day. that is two mutch i
think. then mother sent me to my room for the
rest of the day. so i staid there reading for a
awful long time and then i was trying to spit in the
rane baril and mother caugt me and sent me to bed.
a feller cant do nothing without being snached

July 23, 186---today we wrote a partition to get
Beany back his gob. it read like this,

mister Chipper Burley. Beany wasent making
up faces last sunday when the peeple laffed. he was
bit by 2 yeller jacket hornits behine the organ and he
done prety well not to holler rite out loud. most
fellers wood have done it but not Beany. his face
was all onesided and looked so funny that peeple
coodent help laffin. his face is funy ennyway but
peeple have got used to it when it aint swole up.
Beany woodent have stuck his head out if he had
gnew how he looked. he was not to blaim. so he
wants his gob back and we hoap you wil let him
come back.
    Yours very respectively.

well we got a lot of people to sine. Earl and Cutts
and father and Mr. Healy and Pewts father and old
man Dow and evrybody that read the partition sined
it and slaped their leg and laffed. sum of them
roared and sed i gess old Chipper will take notise
of that.

well then we drawed lots to se whitch wood read
the partition to Chipper and i drawed the shortest
one. i always do so i am not sirprized. i am going
up to Chips tomorrow.

July 24. brite and fair. i went up to Chips today.
he was in Boston.

July 25. if we dont have rane before long father
says there wont be ennything to eat nex year. went
up to Chips again today. he hadent got home from

July 26, i will never speek to Chipper Burley
again. he has got the wirst temper i ever see. he
gets mad for nothing. i never see such a man, i
went up today. i met 2 or 3 men whitch sined the
partition and they asted me if i had seen Chip and
i sed no and they sed wel go up as soon as you can
so i went up. a servant girl came to the door and
told me Chip, only she sed mister Burley was in the
greenhouse. so i went to the greenhouse and he
was there with mister Busell and mister Alfrid
Coner and old Charles Coner and Joe Hiliard. he
asted me what i wanted and i told him and he
winked at the other men and sed read it and i started
to read it and i had jest got as far as mister Chipper
Burley when he got mad and grabed it and toar it
up and chased me almost down to front streete. i
wish i gnew what he was mad about. i dident do a
thing but jest start to read it. i bet i wont go there

July 27, 186---rany and thunderry. i always
thougt a girl with red hair and frekles wood taist
jest loke dandylions when you bite them. i meen
of course bite the dandylions. i meen when you
kiss the girl. i dont know. some day i am going
to find out.

July 28, 186---i wunder why i wrote what i wrote
yesterday. if i thougt ennybody wood ever read
this diry i wood have toar that out. ennyway that
is what i always thougt. i bet sum of the fellers
know. but i dont. Beany has got his gob back.
they coodent get ennyone else to taik it. his face
has all gone down so it is not funny enny moar. at
least it is not enny funnier than usual and we are
used to that.

July 29, 186---it was hot as time today. this
afternoon me and Cawcaw Harding went up to the
gravil to go in swiming and jest as we was jest
ready to dive in a cold mist came up and we nearly
froze befoar we cood find our close. i tell you we
dresed prety quick and hipered for home. father
sed it was a sea tirn and sumtimes horses and catel
has been lost and froze to deth by them and i had
beter be cairful about going in swiming when it is
too hot. i never know when father is goking. one
day i asted him what the fellers witch lived in south
America and Africa did for snow-baling and he sed
that the snow was so hot sumtimes that they had to
cool their snowballs befoar they pluged them at
other felers or they wood scald them or burn them
bad. i gnew that father was goking that time but
the nex day in school i read in a school book that a
man once froze water in a red hot cup. so peraps
he wasent goking after all.

July 30 186---i have to cut grass for them sheep
evry day now and it taiks a lot of time when i cood
be fishing. i never see such things to eat. always
baaing for sumthing to eat. today they et a whole
cabbije i hooked out of J. Albert Clarks garden, and
a bushel of grass i cut over by the high school and
sum carots and sum meal and hay and a lot of
potatoe pealings and 2 peaces of lettis and drank haff
a pale of water and tiped over 3 whole pales full.
one is tame and follows me round. that is the old
one. the young one is wild and if i dont look out
wil butt me when i aint looking and where i aint
xpecting it. once she nocked me over and i hit her
with a stick hard. so now when i get in the pen
she gets in the corner. she knows she cant fool
with me. i guess not.

July 31, 186---this morning we heard a awful
baaing in the sheep pen and father called me erly
and we went out. what do you think they was 3
lamns there. 2 was ded. the old sheep the one
that i liked becaus she was tame was the one whitch
lamns was ded. she was runing up and down and
smelling of them and baaing. then she wood waulk
away from them and look round and see if they
was folowing her and when she see that they dident
she wood come back and baa sum more.

father he sed thunder that is too bad we will have
to berry them. i dont want your mother to see
them. it wil maik her feel terrible. so i got a
spaid and father took up the 2 little lamns and we
went out behine the barn and father dug a hole and
then we rapped them up in sum brown paper and
berrid them. when we went back to the barn the
old sheep was baaing terrible and runing from one
end of the pen to the other end. her eyes stuck out
of her haid and she looked at us as if she was
asking us where her lamns was. father sed thunder
this is tuf what in time can we do. i sed i dont
know and he sed he dident supose i did he never
gnew me to know ennything when it was asted. so
he patted her head and called her a good old girl and
i got sum grass for her but she woodent eat. the
other lamm was all right but the first thing i gnew
the mother sheep nocked her oan lamn over. jest
butted it over. father sed hell and he was over the
fence in jest 2 secunds. then he let her up and she
backed into a corner shaiking her head.

then the lamn kind of teetered up to her wobbly as
time and tried to suck and she butted him again and
nocked him down and father grabed her by the
back of the neck with one hand and by the end of
her back with the other and sed now old lady you
will do one of 2 things in about 2 minits. eether
nurse this lamn or go down to butcher Haleys. so
i poked the lamns nose under the sheep and in a
minit it was sucking like a good one and wigling its
tale like a snaik when you step on its head. the
old sheep tried to butt and kick and get away but
she mite jest as wel have tride to brake away from a
steal trap. i bet my father cood hold a wild bull
of bastem that the minister talked about if he had
him by the neck with one hand and the tale with
the other. i tel you that lamn had a good time.
after he dident want enny more father put him in
another pen and let the old sheep go. this noon he
held her again. it took us so long that it was too
lait to go to chirch. i bet i dident feel bad. after
dinner father held her again. tonite he held her a
few minits and then he let me hold her. she only
yanked once but i held her as good as father.

August 1, 186---this morning father dident have
time to hold the sheep so he hollered up-stairs for
me to get up and hold her. then i heard the door of
the hack slam and i thought as long as father had
went to the trane i woodent hurry and the nex i
gnew mother was shaiking me and teling me that it
was eigt oh clock and that my lamn was bleeting
terrible. so i gumped up and dresed and run down
and put the lamn in the pen and clim after it. the
old sheep backed into a corner when i went towerds
her and stamped her front foot and befoar i cood
gump to one side she hit me with her head and
nocked me flat. i gnew beter than to get up and so
i roled over towerds her and got her by the legs and
then i got a good grip in her wool. we had a
regular rassel and she draged me all over the pen. i
held on like a good feler and bimeby i got her in a
corner head ferst. then the lamn woodent come to
suck. i gess he was scart. i dident blame him for
i was scart two. if i hadent been scart i would have
let go so i hollered for Keene but nobody caim. i
cood hear them ratling dishes and eating breckfast
and i was most starved to death and i dident dass to
let go of that old sheep. so i hung on and began to
call the lamn. it wood baa and come prety nearly
up and then run back. bimeby it come so near that
i cood reech it but when i let go of the sheep with
one hand she began to kick and strugle and i had
another rassel with it. i was most tuckered out
when she stoped to rest again. then i hollered for
sumone to come but nobody caim. then i hapened
to think that in the Swiss Family Robinson that the
father was triing to ride a wild ass and it kicked
and bit and rared and plungged and the only way to
stop him was to bite his hear. so when he rared up
strait he grabed his ear with his teeth and bit it
throug and the ass got down on his feet once more
and stoped kicking and biting and plungging and he
never had enny moar truble with him.

so i made up my mind that when that sheep began
to tare round again i wood try it. so bimeby the
little lamn come up close and i let go one hand to
stick the lamns head in place when the old sheep
began to try to get away and i got both arms round
its neck tite and grabed its ear with my teeth and
bit as hard as i cood. well i wish you cood have
saw what hapened. i never gnew wether she tirned
a back summerset or i did. i gess we both did. she
led out a baa and slamed me down on the floor and
trod al over me and butted me over and tride to
gump out of the pen. while i was on the ground
and she was steping on me i caugt her by the legs
and down she went and most squashed me flat and
one of her feet trod on my head. you jest bet i
hollered and then Keene and Cele and mother and
Aunt Sarah come out and told me to get out of the
pen befoar i was killed. i had been triing to get
out ever since i bit her but she seamed to be
evrywhere to onct. when they come she ran into a
corner and i clim out. i was all covered with dirt
and my nose was skined and my close toar. Keene
asted me if i had ben playing ring round the rosy
and mother told her that she must wash and mend
my close for that before she went out of the yard.
so i gess Keene wont be so smart another time. i
went back to my room and changed my close and
washed my face and hands and mother put some
plaster on my face. then i had breckfast.

tonite i am so tired that i cant wright enny more.
tomorrow i will tell how we fed the lamn. i have
got so i can handle the sheep all right. Sam Dire
done it.

August 2 186---brite and fair. yesterday after i
had my breckfast mother told me to ask Sam Dire
what to do to fed the lamn. mother says Sam
Dire is the lady from Philydelfia like the story of
the Peterkin family in the young folks. when the
Peterkin family in the magasine is stuck and dont
know what to do they go to the lady from Philydelfia
who tells them jest what to do. so mother
sends for Sam Dire when she dont know what to
do. so Sam he came over and clim into the pen
and grabed the old sheep and held her until i got the
lamn and it had enuf.

then Sam he went over to the blacksmith shop and
he made 2 rings of iron. then he got a strap with
a buckel and he put the strap with a ring on it
round her neck. then he fassened a peace of closeline
to the ring and run it throug the other ring
whicht he had fassened to a beem in the corner
and brougt the end of the roap out of the pen and
tide it. so all i have to do now is to pull her up to
the ring and ty the roap. then i get my gnee agenst
her and she cant move. i done it at noon and at
nite. she holds back when i pull but when i brace
my feet agenst the side of the pen and pull you bet
she has to come. that was prety good of Sam.
tonite father nearly dide when i told him about
biting her ear and mother told him how i looked.
he went over and paid Sam 25 cents and told him
he was a beter inventer than the man which invented
hot water and i tell you Sam was pleased most to

August 3, 186---i think Lizzie Tole is the pretyest
girl i ever see in my life. it looks as if Beany wood
get her. still i am hoaping.

August 4, 186---i woodent have ennybody read
this diry for 2 million dollars. i am very cairful
about it. Beany is a prety good feller but there is
sum things that no feller can stand. i gess Ed Tole
likes me better than he does Beany but Lizzie dont.
I wood ruther have it the other way. still i am
hoaping. Beany may see sumbody he likes better.
so may she. i hoap it will be me. i forgot to say
that this was sunday. i tride to get father to let
me stay at home to taik cair of the sheep but he
woodent. he staid home himself to look after them.
i dont think that is fair. they was a thunder shower
this afternoon. it was after chirch of coarse. it
was a ripper. it struck a tree up on Coart strete
and split off a big lim. i have to wirk prety hard
cutting grass for them sheep.

August 5, 186---i have to wirk harder than enny
feller i know. all Beany has to do is to split kinlins
and lug in wood and get water from the well with
the old chane and windlas and that is always fun
becaus a feller always splashed the water all over
him and sumtimes the chane brakes and they have to
fish for it with hooks and sumtimes things get in the
well and you cant use the water for a long time and
then Beany has to come over to my house. once a
cat got drownded in Beanys well. Beany cood see
it floating round but me and Beany was mad and
he sed he never wood come over to my house again
or speak to me as long as he lived. so Beany dident
say nothing to his family but kep on luging in pales
of water. bimbye the water began to smel bad and
taist feerful and Beanys father xamined the well
after about a week more and found the old ded cat
and there was a dredful time and Beany got a licking
and had to come over to our house for water
until his well was clened out. ennyway we had made
up. gues what we got mad about. i treted Lizzie
to gibs and Beany got mad and woodent speek to me
or to her. then he bought a prize packige of candy
and got a ring that was wirth a grate deel of money
and gave it to her and now she goes with Beany
and dont speek to me. i am never going with girls
again. ennyway me and Beany are all rite again.

August 6, 186---brite and fair. Pewt is wirking
for his father painting the Academy fence. he says
he gets one dollar and a quarter a day. gosh i wunder
if he does. Beany says Pewt dont get fifty
cents a year. Pewt woodent wirk if he dident get
paid. he always has got money too. so i gess he
gets sum pay. i almost never have enny money
xcept when i let my boat and bisness is poar this
summer. i doant beleve i have ernt 2 dollars this
summer. i think father had aught to pay me fer all
the wirk i do. i am tired of that old sheep. i wish
a dog wood come in some day and kill it. we all
like the lamn. it is geting so it can eat grass a
little. evry day i ty the old sheep out in the grass.
i wish it was ded. evry time it baas i have to give it
sumthing. i wood like to give it sum poizon.

August 7, 186---hot and thundery. Cele is reading
the bible throug. she reads a chapter evry
morning. she is terible religius. she is a grate
reader of dime novels. she reads all mine. father
lets me read them. he says he likes to read them
himself. it is all indian fiting. Cele has read Nat
Todd the Traper and Billy Bolegs and Scalploc
Sam and Mountain Mike and One Eyd Pete and lots
of them. she says she likes the bible best. i dont
beleve it. she has got as far as the 2th palsam.
once father made me lern a palsam. he gave me
10 cents. i have tride to forget it and it is most
forgot. it goes like this.

day unto day utterith speach and nite unto nite
showeth gnowledge.

there is no speach nor gnowledge where thy voice
is not heard. that is all i can remember now. once
i cood say it all but i dident know what it ment. i
gnew what the 10 cents was for.

mother dont believe it wil do Cele eny good to
read dime novels but father says it will help her
atain a hapy medium.

August 8, 186---mother dont like to have Cele
read dime novils. father dont cair. i dont cair
much so long as father dont stop me. of course
Cele cood read mine after i had got throug them,
but Cele wont do that. she is two good for this
wirld. it is funny. Cele is as stuffy as a bull dog
but she has got a new England consciense, so father
says, and if mother tells her not to read dime novils
she woodent do it to saive her life. but if Cele
thougt it was rong to read dime novils mother and
father cood lam time out of her but they coodent
maik her read them. she thinks it is rite to read
dime novils but if mother tells her not to she wont
read them if you cut her rite hand off. that is Cele.

August 9, 186---me and Cele are reading Wild
Mag the Trappers Bride. she has got to the nineth
palsam now. she gets the novil when i am cutting
grass for that old sheep and i get it when she is
reading the palsams. i bet i can remember the novil
beter than she can the palsam. i bet she can two.
Keene dont read eether. she is reading Weded but
no Wife in the New York Legger. i think mother
dont like that eether. tonite mother and father had
it out. father sed he thougt it wood be all rite for
Cele to read novils but if mother sed no it was
going to be no and that is all there was about it.
Keene coodent keep still and sed it aint nice to read
dime novils and mother sed it is wirse to read Weded
but no Wife in the Legger and father sed that is jest
dam rite Joey, he calls mother Joey, and so Keene
has got to stop reading that story. Cele cried and
Keene was mad. i dident yip and nothing was sed
about me. i know when to keep quiet as well as
the nex one. this is one of them times. after we
had went out i told Cele i wood read it and tell her
all about it but she sed no it woodent be rite and she
went off balling and wiping her eyes. she red 2
palsams today to make up. i am glad i havent got
a New England consciense. it is a awful thing to
have when they is enny fun going. i hoap i shal
never have one.

August 10, 186---brite and fair. the ferst chirch
is going to have a picknic a week from nex Tuesday.
father says i cant go becaus i am a unitarial. i dont
see why. i used to go to the ferst chirch.

August 11, 186---sunday today. it raned hard
all day. it is the ferst time i ever gnew it to rane on
sunday, and i gess it is the ferst time it ever did in
this wirld. I sed i wood like to go to the ferst
chirch and sunday school but father he sed not mutch
young man, but so long as you are so anchious to go
to chirch you can go to the Unitarial with your
sister Celia. i tride to get out of it but he made me go.
so me and Cele went. this is one of the times when
i dident know enuf to keep still. i am going to that
picknic sumhow. unitarials dont never have picknics.
that is the only thing i have got agenst them.

August 12, 186---in 3 weks from today school
begins again. i dont like to think of it. it is a
shaim. i waulked down town with the ferst chirch
minister Mister Borows today. he asted me why
we dident go to his chirch enny more and sed that
he missed my sisters singing in the quire. he dident
say ennything about missing me. i told him we was
all crasy to get back to his chirch and sunday school,
only i called it sabath school becaus ministers always
call it that and evrybody else doesnt. he asted me
if we become crasy to get back about the time we
heard of the picknic and i sed no not exackly then,
for we had always felt like that way but we was
more crasier when we heard of that. all he sed was
hum. that can meen most ennything you know. i
am going to that picknic sumhow. i wish that old
sheep was ded. if i see a bear climing the fense to
kill that sheep and take off her skin and rap it up
in a neet roll the way bears do and then eat it, i
mean the sheep and leeve the skin and i had a gun in
my hand i woodent shoot that bear. that is the way
i feel about her. evry time i want to go ennywhere
i have to taik cair of that old sheep ferst.

August 13, 186---i havent seen a show in Exeter
for a long time. i wish i gnew how i was going to
that picknic.

August 14, 186---i was going fishing all day today
and taik my dinner with me but of coarse i
had to come back at one oh clock to feed that darned
old sheep. i wish we lived in a bear country.

August 15, 186---brite and fair. perhaps if i did
i woodent dass to go fishing. ennyway i wish that
old sheep was ded. i am still hoaping to go to that

August 16, 186---we have had a terrible xciting
time here today. if it hadent been for Cele we wood
have lost our sheep. me and Keene fit hard with
clubs and broomsticks and kicking in the ribs and
pulling his tale but Cele done it. i shood never have
thougt of it. but Cele did. father says Cele is a
heroin. he says Cele has got some branes but that
me and Keene has got moar curage than jugment.
He says mother has got some branes two. i gess
father was tickled to deth about it.

well this is the way it was. old Henry Dow has
got a awful cros dog. when it aint tide he keeps it
with him. today it got untide or knawed its roap
and the ferst i gnew i heard Keene begin to screach
and a growl and a kind of choking sort of baa. i
was up in the barn lof, but when i herd that i come
down prety quick. when i got there old Dows dog
had that sheep rite by the gozzle and had throwed it
down. the lamn was trembling and baaing and
Keene was lamming that dog with a broom jest as
hard as she cood paist him and screaching as loud
as she cood. he dident mind the broom stick enny
more than a fether. i ran up and kicked him in the
ribs but that dident maik him let go. i got hold of
his tale and pulled and kicked but he hung on.
they was maiking a awful choking growly noise.
mother run out and then run back and i herd her
pumping a pale of water and i run for the ax. jest
as i got it and come out of the shed Cele come taring
out of the house with sumthing shiny in her hand
and throwed it rite in that dogs nose and eys, and
he let go and began to howl and paw at his eys and
nose and role over and tare round. people were
running into the yard and mother come out with a
pale of water jest as Sam Dire clim over the fense
with a red hot iron in his pinchers and come taring
up. the dog had scooted for hom howling bludy
murder and when Sam got there he was so xcited he
put the red hot iron on the sheep and set its wool
afire. we wood have had roast lamn for dinner if it
hadent been for mother who throwed her pale of
water part of it on the sheep and part of it on Cele
who got in the way. the funny part of it was that
when we xamined the sheep we found she wasent
hurt mutch. the bull dog had got his teeth partly
in her thick wool and partly in her lether coller. she
was scart about to deth and kep hudling up against
us like a cat. Keene she sed she saw the whole of
it. the old bull dog started for the lamn and that
old sheep whitch had never liked the lamn gumped
rite in front of it with her head down and the bull
dog gumped and grabed her instead of the lamn. if
he had grabed the lamn he wood have killed it to
onct. tonite father asted more than 40 questions
about it. he sed we al done splendid. that me and
Keene showed grate curage but that Cele and mother
showed grate jugment. he nearly dide laffing when
he heard Sam Dire set fire to the sheep. he sed he
gesed Sam dident want to lose his heat. father
asted Cele how she hapened to think to do that and
that is the funny part of it. sumtimes you
have to laff at funerals. well Cele sed that in Scalploc
Sam a bear had a deth grip on his dogs throte
when Scalploc Sam he grabed his pepper pot and
throwed a hanful of pepper in his eys and nose and
while the bear was ritheing in agony and filling the
welkin with horid roars and snarls and growls Scalploc
Sam loded his thrusty riffle and slew him. slew
means kill.

so that give Cele the idea and she done it. she
sed she dident get enny help from the palsams. so
mother is going to let Cele read dime novils if she
dont read two many. then Keene up and sed that
she had aught to be aloud to read Weded yet no
wife but mother she sed no. so father give Keene
15 cents and gave me ten cents. i told him he had
aught to let me go to that picknic but he sed he
dident believe in eleven hours conversion i told him
i had been thinking about that picknic for eleven
days and he laffed and sed i would have to get along
with that ten cents. i tell you we was all tired
tonite. i think father had aught to let me go to that
picknic. i am still hoaping.

August 17, 186---today that sheep let the lamn
suck and seamed to like it. she rubed agenst me
and was as tame as the old one was. if she is going
to ack that way i shall like her. Beanys father is
going to let Beany go to that picknic. Mister Watson
Beanys father rings the town bell and is the
ganiter of the ferst chirch. Beany always has all the
luck. i dont have enny. it is most time for that
picknic but nobody aint sed nothing to me about it
yet. i am still hoaping.

August 18, 186---when i woke up this morning it
was raining hard and it raned all day. this is the
ferst time i ever gnew it to do that and the 2th time
i ever gnew it to rane on sunday. today i split the
wood and luged it in and fed the sheep and did all
them things that i have to do and most felers dont
have to do and then i read awhile and we talked
about the bull dog and the sheep. then i rote a poim
about it.

  one day in sumer in Au-gust.
  it was so hot we nearly bust
  my sheep was painting with the heat
  when a dog came taring down the street
  and then without delay or pause
  he gumped on them with teeth and claus

P.S. a dog aint got no claus to clau with, only
nails and nails woodent rime with pause.

  he seezed that sheep by her white throte
  and shook her till she was all aflote
  he wood have killed her ded rite there
  when my sister Keene who you coodent scare
  let out a screech you cood heard a mile
  and laid on a broom in her very best style
  and while she was taning his mizable hide
  i give him sum feerful kicks in the side
  and squashed him almost perfictly flat
  but he wodent let go for all of that
  till my sister Cele came runing out
  with a scornful look on her hansom snout

(P.S. a second time. it is a kind of mean thing
to say about my sister Cele but it is a good rime
ennyway as long as i sed she was hansome i dont
beleeve she wood cair.)

  and she throwed in that dogs face and eys
  peper enuf to make 40 Kyann pepper pyes
  and that dog let go and begam to yell
  and howl as if he was rite in hell

(P.S. 3th we unitarials say there aint no hell
but i aint sure)

  and he made for home on the cleen gump
  jest as mother came out with a pale from the pump
  and old Sam Dire clim over the fench
  with a red hot iron and a munky rench

(P.S. again. fench is ment for fence. poits
can do this whenever they have to)

  and he set on fire that poor sheeps fur
  and that was the best he cood do for her,
  but mother throwed that pale of water
  half on the sheep and 3 fourths on her daughter
  and Cele sed Sam you dam big lout
  just what in hell are you about?

(P.S. once more. my sister Cele never sed that
really. she wood ruther cut her rite hand off than
use such langage. but nobody but me will ever
read this)

  and Sam sed looking verry wize
  i apoller-oler-ollergize.
  and then thinking he better not stop
  he clim the fence to his backsmith shop
  and oh how grateful that sheep must feel
  to me and mother and Keene and Cele.
  but old Sam Dire has went to his shop
  where we certingly hoap old Sam will stop.

(P.S. the last time. we really dont hoap so
becaus we all like Sam very mutch. Sam is one of
the best fellers we ever gnew. But i had to finnish
the poim some way. ennyway Sam wont ever
read it.)

There i think they aint many better poims than that.
i bet the Exeter News leter wood put it in their
paper if i dassed to let them. i bet Beany coodnt
have wrote it. i bet Pewt coodent have either.

August 19, 186---tomorrow is the last day
before the picknic and i am still hoaping. it
will be prety mean if i cant go to that picknic. i am
stil hoaping.

August 20, 186---hooray i am going to that picknic.
i had almost given up hoap. mister minister
Barrows come and asted me if i wood let my boat
for the picknic. i sed i never let my boat to a
picknic unless i rew it myself becaus i never gnew
who wood row it and how they wood treet it and
once they dident bring it back at all but after they
had used it all day they left it up river and dident pay
me and i had to go up after it and when i had
waulked three miles up river i found it on the
other bank and it was too cold to swim across and
i had to waulk way back to the brige and then go up
on the other side to get it and it took me most all
day and the boat was all full of dried mud and ded
hornpout and i had to spend the rest of the day
in washing it out and dident get enny pay.

wel he sed they wood pay me well and wood treet
the boat verry carifully but i sed i coodent trust
enybody eether to pay for the boat or to take cair of it.
so i sed i gess i dident want to let the boat unless i
did the rowing and was there to look after it. i
sed it was the only boat i had and that father was
always telling me not to let evry Tom Dick and
Harry have it jest becaus they wanted it.

he sed he wood assure me that everything wood
be all rite if i wood tell him how mutch i wanted
for it but i told him he coodent have the boat unless
i went with it and he had beter get a boat of
sumbody elce. he sed that my boat was large and safe
and that nobody elce has so good a boat.

i told him that wasent my fault but that was the
way i did business, so after awhile he sed well if i
wood promise to do all the rowing that he wanted
he wood ingage me and my boat and he is going
to give me 50 cents. i only get 25 cents most of the
time but i thougt i had augt to get 50 of him. so
he sed all rite and i am going. when father come
home i told him the minister had sed that if i wood
come to the picknic and help row the boat he would
give me 25 cents more than i usally got, and he
sed i cood do it if he wanted me as bad as that. i
dident tell father all i sed to the minister or all he
sed to me. i dont think the minister wanted me
very bad. i think he wanted the boat more. enny
way he had to do it. tomorrow i am going to wash
the boat out and i bet i will have a good time.
Keene says she woodent want to go where she
wasent wanted but i told her that when they paid
me twice as mutch as i usally got it showed that they
wanted me prety bad. so Kerry coodent say mutch
to that.

August 28, 186---it is almost time for school to
begin and i have lost a hole week in bed and my life
has been despared of. i dont beleeve enny feller
ever was so sick as i have been and still lived to
tell the tale. doctor Pery sed he never gnew a feller
to go throug what i have went throug and live. it
was that darn picknic that done it. doctor Perry
says they aint a doctor in Exeter that dont lay in a
lot of extry caster oil and rubarb and sody and a
new popsquert and get a lot of sleep the nite befoar
a chirch picknic. he sed that a collick from eating
two mutch is bad enuf but when a feller is all swole
up with poizen ivory leeves two it is wirse.

it is a very long story and i dont beleeve i can
write it out all in one evining becaus sumtimes my
head goes round like a button on a barn door so
father sed.

wel the morning of the picnic i got up erly and
washed out my boat and had it at the worf when the
peeple come down. mother sed she dident want me
to go unless i took sumthing for them to eat so she
put me up a half dozen donuts and sum sanwiches
and sum apple tirnovers and a little bottel of pickels.
well i thougt they wood have enuf for all of the
people without that and so i et it all while i was
washing out the boat. i gnew i was a going to have
a hard days wirk and i wanted to be ready and after
i had hid the basket and had the boat reddy the
peeple began to come down to the worf. they had
baskets and pales and paper boxes and ice creem
freesers and bottels and plaits and goblets and mugs
and cups and brown paper packages of coffy that
smeled awful good and made me hungry again
althoug i had et a hole basket full.

well the minister was there with a long taled
coat and a white neck ty and decon William Henry
Johnson and decon Ambrose Peevy and Aunt Hannar
Peevy and Widow Sally Mackintire and lots of
them and evrybody was talking and laffing and
stepping on things they hadent aught to step on and
puting things in rong places and loosing things jest
like old peeple always do.

the ferst thing they done was to pile on to the
worf so many that the worf sunk down and the
water come over it and wet most of there feet and
they al screached and hipered up the bank and then
begun to blame me for it as if i had done it when i
was in the boat and dident tuch their old worf. and
Mrs. Lydia Simpkins shorl went floting down river
and i had to row out and get it and she sed i had
augt to know better than to get too many peeple
on a worf and wet their feet and they thougt i done it
a purpose. sum peple wood have given me ten cents.
she mite have thanked me. the minister was all rite.
he sed it wasent my falt. so they was more cairful
nex time and one at a time they tiptode acros the
worf and got into the boats. i had my boat full
and al the women grabed at the sides of the boat and
hollered wen it rocked the teentyest bit.

but after they see i gnew what i was about they
begun to have a good time draging their hands in the
water and setting one sided. it made it awful hard
to row but i dident say nothing but rew as hard as
i cood. i dident know until we got to the eddy
woods why it was so hard. it was becaus Thomas
Edwin Folsoms coat tales were draging in the water
all the way. if i had gnew that i dont beleeve i wood
have sed nothing. they sung songs like lightly row,
lightly row ore the sparkling waives we go and
rocked in the cradle of the deep and come away come
away theres moonlite on the lake and row brother
row the stream runs fast the rapids are near and
the boat is---sumthing or other i have forgot. they
always sing songs like them.

when we got up to the Eddy they got out and the
decons coat tales were driping over his hine legs so
he took his coat off and hung it on a lim of a tree to
dry. then i had to lug all the baskets and pales up
the bank. befoar i went down for a second lode
of peeple Mrs. Dearborn give me 2 more sanwiches
and 3 donuts and a drink of lemonade for rowing
them so good and when i had et them i started down
river again. it was bully to se how eesy that boat
went after the people was out. it was jest as eesy
as nothing at all. i met all the boats comeing up.
they was rowing evry whitch way. the oars was
splashing and not keeping time. there was one man
whitch thougt he was a grate rower. he set in the
back rowing seat and had 2 or 3 full groan peeple in
the front part of the boat and a little dride up
woman who dident weig more than a empty basket
on the back seat and she was triing to steer the boat.
the bow of the boat was sunk down and the stirn
was up in the air so that the ruder dident tuch the
water. the boat would swing round and the man
wood pull sideways till his face was all one sided and
jaw at his wife becaus she dident know enuf to steer
a boat, and she wood paw back that she gnew as
mutch about steering as he did about rowing. they
were having a real good time.

then i met Beany with 2 fat wimmen in the stirn
seat and in the front seat Beany was up so high
that his oars cood hardly reech the water and the
boat was one sided becaus one woman was twice as
fat as the other and the other peeple were leening
over the side of the boat and Beany was sweting like
a horse and mad enuf to bite a peace out of the bow
of the boat and eat it and he was going about one
mile an hour and his face was as red as Skiny
Bruces hair. i set up and rew with long even stroaks
and fethered my oars and dident splash a bit and the
boat went on an even keel with little whirlpools
when the oars came out and when i passed Beany the
peeple in his boat sed dont that Shute boy row well,
i wish he was rowing this boat. if he was we wood
get there sum time today. and Beany was mad
and i heard him say huh old Plupy is only showing

well when i got back to the worf there was sum
more peeple wating with sum milk cans of lemonaid,
and a freeser of ice creem and i was so hot from
rowing so hard that i set down and brethed hard
and wiped my face and held my head in my hands.
they asted me if i was sick and i sed no only xasted
becaus i am so thirsty my throat is dry. so they
give me a glas of lemonaid and a saucer of ice cream
and 2 peaces of cake and after i had et that i sed i
felt better and was ready to row them up. they
asted me how long it would taik and i sed if they
wood set so the boat wood run even i wood do it
prety quick. so they done as i sed and i rew steddy
by the gravil and the oak and the cove and the fishing
bank to the willows whitch is haff way and they give
me 2 glasses of lemonaid and when i had drank it
i started again and rew stedy till i got to the last tirn
when i passed Beany and the other boats that the
old pods were rowing.

when i went by Beany he sed i bet you havent been
way down to the worf old Plupe and the peeple in
my boat sed he surely has and the fat wimmen in
Beanys boat sed the nex time we come up we will
get him to row us and not you Elbrige. i sed to
myself low so they woodent hear me i bet you wont
if i can help it.

well i landed my peeple at the bank and luged
up their stuff befoar Beany got there. when he got
there a awful funny thing hapened. Beany he give
2 or 3 long stroaks to land the boat and he done it
pretty good for him. while the boat was running in
Beany balanced in the bow ready to gump out and
hold it. well when he done it and lifted the bow to
pull up the boat the stirn went down so far that the
water came over the side of the boat and the fat
wimmen were setting in about six inches of water.
well they screeched and tride to get up but they
was weged in so tite that they coodent till 2 of the
men gumped into the boat and yanked them up and
you augt to hear them lay into Beany. the back
of their dreses was sopping wet.

wel peeple had put up swings and fellers was pushing
girls in swings and runing under them and sum
were swinging in hammocks and sumone had bilt a
fire and sum were setting the tables and sum were
setting down on shorls and cushings and children
were playing copenhagin and going to Gerusalem
and it was a lively time.

i wanted to have sum fun but the minit i landed
2 wimmen that i had never saw befoar wanted me
to go out with them to get sum flowers and leeves
for their table and of coarse i had to go but as i was
prety well tuckered out i made them give me one
more glas of lemonaid and 3 sandwiches. that was
better than nothing and after i had drank it and et
them i was reddy and we went off in the boat. i rew
them across the river and we found sum vines with
shiny leaves and a lot of yeller dazies and sum cardinel
flowers and the wimmen made reaths of them
one for eech plait on the table.

while we was doing this sum more people come
and they began to make reaths and i helped them.
bimeby we had enuf and we went back to the picknic
with our arms full. when we got there they
was a big crowd round sumthing on the ground and
we run up and found that Beany had fell out of a
swing and had hit on his head. he swang the
higest of enyone when he fel out and if he hadent
hit on his head it wood have killed him. it made
him kind of squint eyd for a while and his head was
on one side for 2 or 3 days but it dident hurt him.

miss Lewccretia Baley had spraned her anckle by
steping in a hole and had to set with her anckle
rapped up in a shorl. but i notised she et as mutch
as ennyone, and Tommy Tomson had got a fishhook
in his leg and had to have it cut out. evryone was
having a good time and i cood smell the coffy.

after Beany was pernounced out of dainger and
was able to crawl round and drink about 3 glases
of lemonaid before dinner was ready, sum fellers
is pigs ennyway, i had to row sum moar peeple up
river for sum cardinel flowers. before i done this
i got them to give me 2 creem cakes and a peace of
blewberry pie. i aint like Beany always waiting to
eat without wirking for it. a feller has to eat in
order to wirk good.

well when i had et them i rew the people up river
and when they wood see a cardinel flower they wood
holler to me and i wood row the boat up to the place
where the cardinel flower was and they wood pick it
and holler over it and then we wood go on. the
river was kind of low and the banks were steep and
slipery where the cardinel flowers grew and Charlie
Lane, the feller whitch was in the boat, had on sum
white britches and we had got enuf and was going
back when one of the wimmen sed oh see that splended
one we must have that one. so i rew up and
Charlie got out and clim up and got the flower
whitch was a big one 2 or 3 feet above the water.
when Charlie got it he turned round and sed

  the rose is red the vilet blew
  the pink is sweet and---

and his hels flew up and he set down in the slipery
mud and slid rite into the water, that is his hine legs
went in to his gnees but he grabed the boat and that
stoped him. his white britches were wet and covered
with green slime to his gnees and the seat of
his britches was black with mud. the wimmen
nearly dide laffing and Charlie sed mersy sakes what
a mess. most evry other feller wood have swore
feerful but Charlie doesnt sware and is a good young
man. that is why we call him Charlie.

well Charlie sed he gessed he wood woulk home
and change his britches, he called them his pants,
and so he got out of the boat and clim up the bank
and started. i dident tell him he was on the rong
side of the river becaus he dident ast me and i
supose he gnew what he was about. the last i see
of him he was going towerds Kensinton. while i
was sick i sort of wurred about him but when i ast
mother she sed he was in the store. he works for
old Gid Lyford.

when we got back to the picknic old Mrs. Bolton
had had a spell and the minister and Decon Sawyer
was lifting her into Miss Susan Parkinsons caryall
to drive her home. sum feller had throwed a teeny
little bull toad in her lap. huh i shood think that
was a prety thing to have a spell for. i never see
ennyone have a spell. i wish i had got there in time
to see it. Beany sed it was grate fun and elvrybody
injoyed it.

Mr. E. O. Luvrin had been stang by a hornit on
his underlip and evrybody had a good time looking
at him. i don't beleeve there was ever a beter

the tables had been set and looked fine. our table
with the reaths was the pretyest. well we all set
down and evrybody sed hush, hush and the minister
sed a long prair. peraps it seamed longer becaus
i was most starved to deth. i had been wirking
so hard and it was a long time since i had my breckfast.

well after the minister got through, we pitched in
and et. i never had so good a dinner in my life.
we had ham sanwiches and cornbeef sanwiches and
tung sanwiches and pickles and milk and pickle
limes and creem cakes and blewberry pie and chese
and rasbery tirnovers and astrackan apples and
balled egs and blackberrys and tee and coffy and
sardeens on crackers and custerd pyes and squash
pyes and apple pyes and gelly roles and tarts and
coconut cakes and all the ice creem we cood eat,
pink ice creem and white ice creem and yeller ice

i et sum of everything they had. you see it was
a long time since i had my breckfast and i had been
wirking hard and mother had always told me to
eat evrything in my plait and i wanted to ennyway.
so i et until i coodent eat ennymore and most everybody
done so two.

after dinner i helped clear away the things and
then sum peeple went wauling in the wood sum slep
in the hammucks and sum set down in cerkles and
played gaims and told storys. they was one big
cerkle whitch had the minister and most of the
decons and their wifes and all the old wimmen and
they was playing childrens gaims and hollering and
laffing jest like children. old E. O. Luverin the feller
whitch had been stang by a hornit on the underlip
had told me to bate a hook and set my pole for
a big hornpout or an eal. so i done that before dinner.
i put a big steal hook on the line and bated it
with the bigest grashoper i cood find, an old lunker,
one of them kind that maiks a noise lika a nutmeg
graiter and when it flise ratles its wings. then i
unwound al my line and threw the bate out as
fur as i cood and set the pole with a croched stick
rite down in the sand by the boats. i was lissening
to the peeple playing gaims when sum feller hollered
Plupy you got a bite and i looked and saw that my
line was tite and my pole bending. so i hipered
down the bank and grabed the pole and pulled in.
i had a big one on the hook and he pulled terrible,
but i yanked him out and i pulled so hard that he
went way over my head and rite in the middle of the
cerkle of peeple.

it was an old lunker of an eal and when it lit on
the ground it twisted and squirmed and thrashed
round like a snaik and of al the screaching and tirning
of back summersets by the wimmen whitch were
fat and coodent get up quick, and of all the holding
up of skerts and hipering for the woods by the thin
wimmen you never saw in all your life.

and the men hollored and got out of the way of
that eal as quick as the wimmen and one decon hollered
what in hel and damnation are you trying to
do you cussid fool, and sum of the others sed things
i gess they wished they hadent. me and Beany was
triing to get that eal of the hook. i got my foot on
his neck and he squermed round my leg and got my
britches leg all covered with slime. bimeby i got
him off and into my boat, and when i went back old
Mrs. Sofire Peezley was having a spell. i never seen
ennyone have a spell before and it was very interesting.
she screached and cried and then threw her
head back and laffed and claped her hands together
and roled her eys and gulped and swallered, and the
wimmen were patting her on the back and making
her smell of amonia botles and calling her dear and
blesid lamn, and poar darling and talking to her as if
she was a baby, and wimmen were coming back
from the woods and saying it was a burning shaim
and looking at me mad and saying i had aught to be
in jale. and old E. O. Luvrin jawed me but it
dident do no good becaus his lip was so swole that
nobody cood understand what he sed. but i sed i
aint done nothing what are you pichin into me for?

Then a woman sed you are the wirst boy in town
and you are jest like your father was, and i sed i
gess if you gnew what my father sed about you you
woodent say much more and she tirned red and sed
if that boy stays here i wont. it is a shaim to have
sutch a boy at a desent picnic or with desent peeple.

then they all got round me and jawed me and the
minister sed i must go home and i sed all rite if
i have got to go i wil taik my boat, and he sed verry
well take your boat and go. i am verry mutch
disapointed in you. then i sed ennyway i want my
fifty cents and they all sed dont you give him a cent
he has been a newsense. then i sed it may be all
rite to call a feller a newsence after he has rew about
a hundred peeple more than fifty miles and luged
barils stuff up the bank and made reaths and picked
flowers and rescued peeple from drownding whitch
dident know enuf to sit in a boat, but i aint going
till i get my fifty cents then they sed if i dident
go rite off they wood lick me and i woodent get my
fifty cents.

so i got into my boat and rew up river. then i
rew back and kept in the middle of the river and
began to holer things to Beany. i gnew they
coodent drive me off the river so i hollered to Beany
did you see old Misses Peezley have that fit? gosh i
bet she maiks old man Peezley stand round. peraps
that is why he is baldheaded. Beany dident dass to
say nothing.

then i hollered Beany did you hear old decon
Aspinwall sware at me? he wanted to know what
in hel and damation i was triing to do. that is prety
talk for a decon aint it?

i shood think he wood feel ashaimed the nex time
he speeks in prair meeting.

i cood see the decon talking to the minister xcited,
and Misses Peezley was talking xcited two. but
Beany dident dass to say nothing. so i hollered
again to Beany did you see old Rhody Shatuck hold
up her skirts and hiper for the woods? did you
ever see sutch skinny legs? then old man Shatuck
run down the bank and hunted round for a rock but
i gnew he coodent find one becaus there aint enny
rocks there and he tride to break a lim off a tree
to plug at me and he hollered and sed he would brake
my back, but i gnew he coodent get me and i hollered
again to Beany o Beany aint it lucky the minister is
married becaus all the wimmen is hanging round
him and Beany dident dass to say nothing, but they
all got together and talked and then the minister
come down the bank and called me to come in and
he wood give me my fifty cents if i wood go strait
home but i sed not mutch i dont come where you can
get a holt on me and lam time out of me.

well he sed i will not hurt you but i sed you sed
you wood pay me and you dident and i cant trust
you. he turned red as a beat and sed i am verry
sorry that you acuse me of being untroothful but
here is your money if you will come near enuf so
i can toss it into the boat. so i backed the boat in
holding my oars ready to row out if he tride to
grab the boat or to gump in but he dident do eether
but throwed the fifty cent peace into the boat and i
started for home.

i gess it was about time for i began to feel prety
quear. my head aked and there was black specks
before my eys and my face and hands burned like
fire and smarted and my boans aked.

i gess i shall have to stop here for i hear mother
coming up with my chicken broth and tost and am
most starved to deth. father says i weig 2 pounds
less than nothing and my arms and legs is jest like
pipe stems or spider legs.

Continnude from the last.

August 29 186---when i got home i hiched the
boat and my head went round so i had to set down.
then i got up and went home. mother saw me and
sed what is the matter with your face it is as red
as fire. i sed i gess the muskeeters done it. she
asted me if i wanted enny supper but i sed i dident
ever want to eat again but i wanted a drink of water.
so i drunk sum water and went up stairs. then i
begun to feel bad and caled mother and she come
up jest in time. i was awful sick. father come up
and Aunt Sarah and they held my head and run in
and out of the room with wash boles and towels. o
i was awful sick and mother sed for mersy sakes
what have you been eating and father sed for goddlemity
sake what haven't you been eating?

bimeby i felt a little better only my face and hands
burned and itched. mother sed she dident like the
looks of it and she never gnew a feller to be sick at
his stomack with a red face and hands. so she wet a
towel in cold water and put it on my face and hands
and bimeby i gess i went to sleep.

sumtime in the nite i began to feel sick again and
had awful panes in my stomack and i called mother
again. this time i was awful sick again and father
and mother and Aunt Sarah were verry busy for a
long time. bimeby i wasent so sick to my stomack
but my panes were wirse and father went for docter
Perry. he was gone a long time before he come
back with him. doctor Perry he took a look at me
and sed poison ivory, so he got it did he. then he
felt of my stomack and looked at by tung and felt
my pulce and heard me grone and gave me a dose
of castor oil and then he took out a little popsquirt
the litlest i ever see and he sed i gess i shall have to
give you a subteranian interjection. i thougt a
interjection was a part of speach like alas and o and
ah. ennyway that is what the grammar says.

but this wasent that kind for the docter run the
sharp point of that little popsquert whitch was jest
as sharp as a needle rite into my arm. it hurt like
time and i hollered but after he had pulled it out i
began to feel kind of lite and floty and the ferst i
gnew the pane was gone and i dident know nothing

well the next morning i felt a little beter but not
enuf to get up and not enuf to eat but after a while
i felt wirse again and mother sent for doctor Perry
again and he come and give me some more medecine
and another subteranian interjection whitch put me
to sleep again. the next time i woke up again i
coodent open one ey and only see a teeny bit out of
the other, but i felt better, only i iched feerful and
smarted. doctor Perry laffed when he come in and
sed i looked funny but not so funny as old E. O.
Luvrin. he sed all the peeple whitch set at one table
had it and had it wirse than i did, but i was sicker
the other way.

he sed that all the docters had been up day
and nite and always were buzy when there was a
chirch picknic. he sed that if he had his way chirch
picknics wood not be aloud enny more than prize
fites and cock fites. he sed that the peple were prety
mad with me and thougt i done it purpose, but he
told them if i had done it a perpose i woodent have
been fool enuf to tuch the ivory myself, whitch was
prety good for the docter. ennyway i give him
plenty of biziness. i suppose i hadent augt to have
sed what i did about Missis Shatucks legs and old
Misses Peezleys fit, but i aint sorry for what i sed
about the old decon swaring. i hadent done nothing.
jest cougt a eal. i must have left him in the boat.
gosh when i get well enuf to go down to the boat he
will be in auful smelly condition. i am sory i forgot

Well i had to stay in bed 4 days. most of the time
i had web cloths on my head and coodent see nothing.
Cele come up and read Wild Mag the Trapers Bride
and a new novil Dair Devvil Dave the Dead Shot.
she oferred to read the 92th palsam to me but i told
her i dident feal strong enuf yet so she read 2 more
chapters of Dair Devvil Dave instead.

Beany come over with a tame rat tide with a
string. he wasent very tame and bit Beany 2
times. Potter Goram brogt his collexion of butterflise
and a live green snaik. mother woodent come
in until he put the snaik in his poket. the 2 Chadwicks
Puz and Bug came in twise and fit for me, in
the ferst fite Puzzy got a black ey and in the 2th
fite Bug got a bludy nose. they was good fites and
jest about even. i tell you they is always redy to
help a frend.

Ed Tole brougt up his rooster and had arainged
a fite with Gimmy Fitzgeralds rooster but jest as
they was going to set them a going the old minister
called to see if i was ded and when he found i wasent
he made a long call and praid fer me and told me i
had sinned deaply but wood be forgiven if i had
faith. all the time i cood see Ed and Gimmy peeking
round the corner of the barn and wateing till the
old minister had went so they cood have their rooster
fite. i was afrade they wood have it behine the
barn where i coodent see it and i thout that old minister
never wood go. while he was there he saw
the bible open to the 92th palsam and he sed it is
very grattifiing to me to see that you are reading the
bible and i sed i wasent reading it becaus i coodent
read ennything yet, but my sister Cele comes up and
reads to me and he sed she is a very good girl indeed
and i have heard she is very diffeernt from the rest
of the Shute family. i sed yes sir. then he looked
round some moar and found Wild Mag the Trapers
Bride whitch was rite on the table. i wood have hid
it only i coodent get it unless i piled out of bed and
i dident think it was proper to get up in my shert
tale befoar the minister. so i hoaped he woodent
see the novil but he did and he picked it up and
looked at it and read the naim and held it jest as if it
was a bull toad or a snaik and then he sed are you
reading this vile trash and i sed yes sir, and he sed
how cood you read it with your eyes swole up, and i
sed i cood see sum. he sed you jest told me you
coodent see to read. i dident know what to say so
i sed yes sir. then he sed awful stern do you meen
to tel me that your sister Celia---and jest then
mother she come in and sed i am afrade mister Barrows
that we hadent aught to disturb our pashent
too long. he isent verry strong yet.

and he said that is true Misess Shute but he has
made some staitments about this improper book that
i think it is my duty to look into and he held up
Wild Mag the Trapers Bride and mother she sed it
seems as if Mr. Shute and i are compitent to deside
what our children are to read.

and he sed but my dear Misses Shute this is a
verry improper book indeed and mother she sed have
you read it and he sed god forbid i wood not disgraice
my inteligents by reading sutch a book, and
my mother she sed how do you know then it is a
impropper book without reading it? and he sed
how can a bok of the naim of Wild Mag the Trapers
Bride be a good book and mother she sed she had
read it and there was nothing impropper at all in it.

i dident know she had read it so when the minister
had went off kind of stiflegged i asted her if she
dident thing it was a riping story and she sed no she
dident see how i cood read it but she had read it to
see if there was ennything impropper in it and they
wasent. she sed she only read it to see if there was
ennything really rong in it. she dont care for sutch
stories i am afrade. then she asted if i wanted
ennything and i sed no and she went down stairs.
then when she had went i clim out of bed and waived
my hand to Ed and Gimmy and they come out with
their rosters under their arms and set them a going
and they hadent made more than a dozen gumps at
eech other when in come old mother Moulton with
sum gelly and custerd for me and she stoped the fite
and jawed the boys and asted them if they dident
know enny beter than to have a rooster fite in the
yard of a poar boy whitch had nearly dide only a
few days ago and Ed and Gimmy sed no mam we
dident know he had been so sick and we woodent
have did it and they picked up their roosters and
went home and i skiped into bed prety lively for a
boy whitch had nearly dide a few days ago. so
when she come up i was in bed and i et the custerd
and part of the gelly and it was bully. i wish she
hadent come so soon. that wood have been a good
rooster fite.

i set up most haff of the time today. tomorrow
i am going downstairs. Fatty Gilman come down
today and brought me 2 oranges and a red bananner.
mother let me eat the oranges but woodent let me
eat the bananner. i dont know what she done with
it. i supose sumone et it. enyway i dident.

Aug. 30 186---today i went out in the yard. it
was brite and fair all day. lots of the felers come
up and had a tirnament. first they had a match
throwing green apples on a stick. Puzzy Chadwick
throwed the furtherest. he threw one from my
yard across the high school yard and it went throug
a window in old Heads cariage shop. it was so far
that when the men in that room piled out swaring
they dident supose it was one of us and thy swore
at John Toomy and 2 other fellers in the school

Pewt was the next best. perhaps it wood have
went as far as Puzzys but sumthing stoped it. what
stoped it was a mans head. i dont know who the
man was but when that apple hit him rite on the
back of his head he throwed down sum boards he
was luging into the shop and clim the fense and
chased John Toomey and the 2 other felers way
down south street. i gess he dident catch them
becaus he swore so when he come back and if he had
cougt them and licked them he wood have felt better.
men always do.

so we dident throw enny more apples. so then
we had sum rassels and the twin Browns and Potter
Goram had a mach wigling their scalps and ears.
Harry Brown beat on a scalp wigling and Potter on
ear wigling. the 2 Chadwicks Puzzy and Bug fit
again and neether licked.

then we had a spitting match. Ed Tole beat. he
always does. then mother come out and sed i had
been out long enuf. so i went in. i had a pretty
good day.

September 1. brite and fair. it seams bully to
be well again and to see the fellers and to go in
swimming and fishing. i havent went in swimming
or fishing since i have ben sick but i am going in in
a day or too. i can eat things now whitch is better
than enything. a feller cant do mutch unless he has
a good apetite. father says there is one thing whitch
has kept me back all these years. he sed that if i had
had a beter apetite when i went to that picknic i cood
have et nine pecks of stuff insted of only five. he
sed he wood have to get the doctor to give me a
tonick the nex picknic time so that i can do a gob
that will be a credit to the family. he sed enny
healthy boy witch can go to a chirch picknic and
only eat 5 meesly pecks of food aint doing jestice to
himself or his frends and he hoaps i will do beter
nex time. he says he dont want me to make a hog
of myself but he does want me to make a record
that he can be proud of. he says i can be champeen
if i only try hard.

i never know whether father is goking or not,
but i think this time he must be goking. ennyway
it wasent becaus i et two mutch that made me sick,
it was becaus i got poizoned by poizen ivory leeves
and that stuffed up my stomack. if it hadent been
for that i bet i woodent have been sick. then going
so long without ennything to eat and wirking hard
dident do me enny good. they are still mad with
me. i am sorry now i sed what i did. when a
feller has lade between life and deth for 3 days he
looks at things diferent from what they wood if
he was well and was going round with fellers like
Pewt and Beany and Whach and Fatty and Pop and
Medo and Tady and Skinny and fellers like them.

So i have been thinking over what i have did and
sed and i am very mutch ashaimed of myself. if
enny other feller had went and sed things about
my mother and sister or about aunt Sarah and my
father that i sed about old Rody Shatuck and Misses
Peezley and Decon Aspinwall i wood have felt like
giving him a bang in the snoot. i wood have did it
if he wasent two big, and if he was i wood have
triped him up sum nite with a roap or plunged him
with ripe tomatose or rotten egs when he had got
on his best close.

but i needent be afraid that ennyone wood say ennything
against my folks becaus they dont have fits
and dont run round after ministers and dont hold
up their skerts xcept when there is a mouse round
and that is always at home where peeple cant see
them. so i shant have to bat ennyone for that but
that dont make enny difference becaus i have did

so i have thougt it over and last nite when the
band was playing departed days and the romance
from Leclare in the band room i desided i wood
wright a letter to all the peeple i had sassed and
beg their pardon. it is prety tuff to do it but it
aint haff as tuff as being snaiked rite up befoar
them by your father and made to beg their pardon.
i have had to do this quite a number of times. so
this morning when i woke up and had brekfast i
remembered what i desided and i went up to my room
and rote a lot of letters to peeple. i gess when
father finds it out he will think i am prety good
feller after all.

it took me a long time to do it and i hated to
waist the time becaus it is prety near the last weak
of vacation but i gnew i wood feel beter when i
had done it and i done it. this is what i rote to
decon Aspinwall.

decon Aspinwall
  Congregasional Chirch
    Exeter New Hampshire
dear sir i have been thinking over what i sed to
you when i hollered to Beany about your swaring
at me at the picknic last weak and i done verry
rong and please to forgive me. of coarse it wasent
so mutch becaus you swore so but becaus you are
a decon of the chirch and speek in prair meating
and so you hadent augt to have did it. but that is
no xcuse for me to sass you. father sed i wasent
verry mutch to blaim. he says he dont object to
swaring but when a man tries to be a decon and
plug ugly at the saim time it is the dam hippockrasy
of it that maiks a man mad. i only tell you this
to show you i was not verry mutch to blaim. but
i am verry sorry i done it. you needent tell father
what i sed, but i hoap you will try hard not to sware
so another time when there is wimmen and girls and
a minister present jest becaus a boy done what they
told him to do and cougt a eal.

          yours very respectively
            Harry Shute

i bet that decon will be glad when he gets that
leter. i bet there aint many fellers whitch can write
a better letter than that. i bet Beany coodent. i bet
Pewt coodent eether. this is the letter i rote to old
Misses Peezley.

Mrs. Sofire Peezly
    Exeter New Hampshire
dear Misses Peezly. i am verry sorry for hollering
to Beany them things about you. when you
had that fit i suposed it was becaus you was mad
and i was kind of mad two becaus i had been
cheeted out of my fifty cents by the minister, becaus
i cougt a eal after they had told me to do it. then
i remembered that my father had sed once that you
had them fits when you wanted sumthing and kept
having them until you got what you wanted and
that he pitted mister Peezly.
  so i dident think when i hollered to Beany and i
wish you wood pleese forgive me.
  it is a awful thing to have fits when you cant help
it. mother says that peeple whitch have fits have to
be verry careful not to get xcited. so when you go
to a picknic again and enny feller throws a bull toad
or a snaik into your lap you must reflek that a bull
toad and a green snaik never bite or scrach and aint
poizen. if you had gnew that at the picknic you wood
not have had that fit. mother says that if peeple
keep having fits they get wirse and sumtimes go
crasy. so i hoap you will forgive me and will be
very cairful not to get xctied. it is dredful to have
fits and i am verry sorry for you.

          yours verry respectively
            Harry Shute

there i think she will be verry mutch pleesed when
she gets that leter. she wont think i am the wirst
boy in town.

this is the letter i rote to Rhody Shatuck.

Missis Rody Shatuck
    Exeter New Hampshire
  dear Missis Shatuck. I am verry sorry for hollering
to Beany at the picknic last weak about your
skinny legs. i woodent have did it if i had been
well, but i had been poizened by poizen ivory leeves
and the minister had cheeted me out of my fifty
cents and everybody had jawed me becaus i cougt
a eal and so i done it. if you had a hair lip or a
squint ey or a wenn on your neck like old Nat
Mason it woodent be so bad but it is a dredful
thing to have such skinny legs as you have got and
i am verry sorry for you becaus i have got skinny
legs myself and the fellers have made fun of me
ever since i can remember and it is awful to be made
fun of all the time. if i was a girl i cood cover them
up with my skert and nobody wood know they was
skinny unless i fell down or the wind blew two
hard or i pulled up my skert like you done at the
  so if i was you i wood be very cairful not to pick
up your skert like you done at the picknic and nobody
will know how skinny your legs is. sumtimes
i wish fellers wore skerts but i gess i would
ruther have skinny legs. so pleese to forgive me
for what i done.

            yours very respectively
              Harry Shute.

this is the leter i rote to the minister.

the referent minister of
    the ferst Congrigasionel Chirch
  dear sir. i thougt i wood wright you and tell you
how sorry i am that i sed the sassy things to you
whitch i sed at the picknic last weak. i am also
verry sorry indeed that i douted your word when
you sed you wood give me the fifty cents. if you
had been ennything but a minister i wood not have
thougt you wood cheet me but i have heard my
father say that ministers has so many things give
to them and has so many old mades and fulish
wimmen after them that they aint mutch to blaim
if they forgets sumthings whitch they hadent augt
to forget. you see i dident know you verry well
and i thought you mite be one of them kind of
ministers but i found out that you wasent when you
paid me the fifty cents and done as you agreed when
you promised not to grab me and lam time out of
me. i was reddy for you and if you had grabed that
boat i wood probly have rew so hard that you wood
have been puled into the water all over. i am glad
you done as you agreed and paid me. you were
prety lait in doing it and i was not to blaim for
thinking you wood not keep your agreement, espesially
as the wimmen all told you not to pay me
a cent.
  so i am verry sorry for what i sed and i think
you done prety well for a congirigasional minister
and i hoap you will forgive me even if i am a
unitarial and done beleeve in hel as you do.

            yours very respectively
              Harry Shute.

i bet when old mister minister gets that leter he will
wish i had staid in his chirch. but it is two lait
now. i bet they will all be sorry i left the chirch.
it aint many fellers whitch are willing to oan up
that they are rong as i have done in these leters.
my granmother usted to say that a soft answer
tirnith away rath. so i bet i have made sum frends
by them leters.

when i got throug wrighting the leters it was almost
time for dinner but i had a little moar time
and i rote one mor to miss Tabithy Wilkins. she
is a old made and she was xcited when i holered
to Beany about the wimmen chasing after the minister
and i dident mean her and so i thougt i had
augt to tell her so she woodent wurry. so i rote
her a leter two. this is what i rote her.

Miss Tabithy Wilkins
    Exeter New Hampshire
dear miss Wilkins. when i hollered to Beany at
the picknic last weak about the wimmen running
after the minister you thought i ment you and you
got xcited. i thougt i wood wright and tell you who
i ment. i dident meen you at all. i ment your 2
sisters Mary Ann and Unice and i ment missis
Angilina Annis and Feeby Derborn and 2 or 3
  i hoap you have not wurred about this. i rote
jest as soon as i cood for i have been awful sick
and lade between life and deth for a long time and
coodent see ennything becaus my eys were all swole
up by poizen ivory. i gnew you wood be glad to
know i dident meen you, but i wood speek to your
2 sisters if i was you.

            yours very respectively
              Harry Shute.

after i had rote that i got sum stampls of mother.
she wanted to know what i wanted them for and
when i told her what i had did she sed it was verry
brave of me to admiit i was rong and i must feel
verry happy over it and i sed i did and i et my
dinner and put the leters in the post ofice and all i
have got to do now is to have a good time for the
nex 2 weaks.

September 3th, 186---brite and fair and hot as
time. i dident have enny chanse to wright ennything
yesterday. i dident feel mutch like it neether. i dont
believe enny feller had so mutch truble in 2 weaks
as i had last nite. to hear father talk you wood
think i was a bank burglar or a cannybile whitch
kills and eats children. i have been jawed and licked
and kep in my room and sent to bed without super,
only Cele brougt it up after father had went down
town, and had evry thing did to me jest becaus i
rote them leters and i dont see what there was in
them leters to make ennyone mad. i coodent wright
enny beter leters than them if i tride a hole weak,
and the peeple whitch got them is feerful mad with
me and father says that posiably they may persecute
me at law and i may have to go to jale for what i
rote and father says i have got him into a feerful
scraip becaus i told them peeple what he sed about
them. but then he sed it so i dont see why he shood
be mad, and what he sed is true and he says that
evrybody knows it is true so i done see why he
shood be mad.

the wirst of it is mother is mad with me two, that
is to say mother aint mad xactly for she dont get
mad but she is verry mutch displeesed with me and
sed i done rong in wrighting to them as i did. i
dont see why. ferst she says i done rong by hollering
to Beany about them and she was glad i begged
their pardon and now she says i done rong becaus
i dident stop when i begged their pardon and not
say enny more. of course i had to xplain things to
them. ennyway i dont understand it now and i
dont beleeve i shall if i have to go to jale for forty-five
years. i wonder if peeple ever do stay in jale
forty-five years. peraps i shall find out sum day.
i dont care. ennything i sbetter than having evrybody
mad with you. a feller mite as well be ded.
i wish i was ded. if i was ded peraps sum of them
wood be sorry.

well day before yesterday was a bully day. i
went fishing in the morning with Pewt and Fatty
Melcher and cougt 2 hogbaks, old lunkers and 3
pickeril and a big roach almost as big as the one i
left in my jaket poket the time the folks thougt
there was a ded rat in the wall of the house and
got old man Staples to pull down the plastering.

then in the afternoon i went butterfling with Potter
Goram and got sum splendid red and black ones
on the nettle flowers by the side of the road. father
he came home from Boston good-natured and was
glad to see i was so mutch better and we had the
roach and pickeril for supper and they was fine.
after supper father went down town for sumthing
and we was setting round the table. Cele had read
the 95nd palsam and was reading Dare Devvil Dave
the Ded Shot and i was wateing for father who
sed he wood bring me a new novil from Fogg and
Fellers store. Keene was reading the Fireside Companion,
mother lets her read that insted of the New
York Legger. Georgie was putting a picture puzel
together and Annie and Franky and the baby had
been put to bed when i heard father comin up the
steps. as soon as he opened the door i sed have
you got my novil and he sed the thing you will get
is a thundering good licking insted of a novil and i
see i a minit that he was mad. so i sed what have
i done and he sed what in thunder did you wright
that devilish leter to that infernal idiut Aspinwall
for? and i sed i done it to beg his pardon and
mother she sed i done rite. then father he sed that
is a prety way to beg a mans pardon by telling him
i sed he was a dam hippokrit. then i sed i dident
say you sed he was a dam hippokrit i only sed you
sed when a man tries to be a decon and a plug ugly
one at the same time it was the dam hippockerasy
of the thing that made you mad. i dident say you
sed he was a dam hippokrit.

father he sed for goddlemitys sakes what is the
difference? what rite had you to tell him that ennyway
and i sed well you did say it dident you? and
he sed of coarse i sed it and it is true but if you
dont know enny more than to tattle evrything i say
at home i will give you a good sound thrashing rite
now and i thougt i was going to get it when mother
sed wait George to father and then she sed to me
what did you wright to decon Aspinwall and i cood
remember all of it and i told her jest what i had
rote and she leened back in her chair and begun to
laff and laffed and laffed until i thought she wood
fall out of her chair and Aunt Sarah she laffed almost
as hard as mother and father he begun to laff
and then we all laffed. i laffed becaus i see father
laffin and i sed to my self it is all rite he wont lick
me now. so i laffed. after we had stoped laffing
mother sed how did you find out about the letter
George and father he sed i went into Fogg and
Fellers store to get your novil and while i was talking
to Jack Fogg up come decon Aspinwall as red
as a beat and sed what do you mean George Shute
by calling me a dam hippokrit? and i sed i havent
called you a dam hippokrit or enny sort of a hippokrit
and he sed yes you have and i have it hear in
black and white and he shook a leter rite in my face.
so i sed i dont know what you meen. i havent rote
any leter about you and he sed i know it but your
misable son has ritten this atrosius epissle and you
shall pay for it sir, you shall pay for it. well all
the peeple in the store were lissening and i was a
geting mad and so i sed well decon i know you aint
drunk for you are to cussed meen to pay for a drink
and so i gess you must be crasy but to keep you
from going cleer out of your mind i will read the
leter and i was sirprized. but i tried to smooth it
over and sed now decon do you supose for one minit
that i ever thougt that of you, mutch less sed it?
and he sed yes sir that is jest what a man like you
wood say and think two. well i kep my temper
and tride to smooth him down but the more i tride
the mader he got and finally he told me i was a
defaimer of innosent persens and that he wood maik
me proove it in coart. then i got mad and sed look
hear you longnosed old vagrant, sue and be damned,
but i have heard enuf of your chin musick and if
you say 2 words moar i will smash that sankit
monious old snout of yours so flat that they wont be
able to see your ears. then i told him to go to hell
and i come home. but it was the bigest fool performance
to wright a leter like that i ever heard of
and if you ever do ennything again like that i will
tan the hide off of you.

i sed i woodent and i hoaped nobody wood say
enny more but jest then mother sed i hoap you
were moar cairful about the other leters and father
he sed what have you sent enny others and i sed yes
sir and he sed who elce did you wright to and i told
him and he sed what did you wright to Missis Peezly
and i sed i told her i was verry sorry for what i
hollered to Beany and asted her to forgive me, and
he sed are you sure and i sed yes sir hoap to die
and cross my throte. and he sed what did you wright
to Rody Shatuck and i sed i rote her jest about
the saim as i had rote to Missis Peezly and he asted
if i was sure and i sed hoap to die and cross my
throte. and he asted me what i rote to the minister
and i sed i asked him to forgive me becaus i douted
his word and for sassing him and he sed are you
sure and i sed hoap to die and cross my throte.

then he asted if i rote the same to the other peeple
and i sed yes ser and he sed well thank the good
lord you had more sence than you did when you
rote the leter to old Aspinwall. and i sed yes sir
I am glad i had so i thougt i was all rite when the
door bell rang kind of mad. i can always tell how
a person feals when he rings our doorbell and when
he neerly pulls it out i know he is mad. i felt as
if sumthing was going to hapen jest then.

well Cele went to the door and i heard a woman
asing if father was in and i reconised Misses Peezlys
voice and i gnew she was mad and i wondered what
she was mad for. so father he went in and i cood
her her yapping away at him and cood hear father
talking but coodent hear what they was saying.
mother sed i hope you told your father the truth and
i sed yes mam. bimeby father come in and called
mother and she went in and i cood hear her talking.
jest then the door bell rang and Cele let in old Rody
Shatuck and a minit afterwerds in come Angelina
Annis and Unice and Mary Ann Wilkins and Feeby
Derborn all of them jest mad enuf to fite. i cood tell
they was mad by the way they asted for father. i
tell you i got fealing prety sick but i coodent see
what they was mad about. when they went into
the parlor you wood have thougt it was a chirch
meating when they was voating for the carpet in the
vestry. evry woman talked to onct jest as loud as
they cood. i never head such a noise in my life
before. bimeby father come in and told me to come
in and told me not to say a word unless to answer
questions that he asked. i hated awful to go in but
i had to. when i got in they was all there with there
faces as red as beats and mad enuf to bit spikes.
Rody Shatuck called me a misable brat and old
Missis Peezly called me a low minded retch and
made a mosshun as if she was going to paist me one
with her old umbrela, but father told me to set down
in a chair by mother then Angelina sed to mother
that she augt to be ashaimed of herself for incurageing
me in my criminallity. that is what she sed
but i dident know what she ment. but father who
had not yipped a single yip sence i went in sed loud
now look hear Misses Shatuck i want you to understand
that you must keep Missis Shute out of this
discussion. you can say what you like to me or
about me and when you are all through i may have
sumthing to say but if ennyone of you say a word
disrespectful to her why then we will stop this thing
to onct. Now if you understan that go ahead. well
i gess they understood it for of all the talk you ever
heard, you wood have thought to thousand hens
was cakling. they jest give it to me and father.
father looked stern and serius but i thougt i cood
see sumthing in his eys that looked like he wanted to
laff, but mother dident look a bit like laffing. bimeby
when they had talked about a hour it seamed to me
they stoped. then father sed now young ladies i
am a grate deel older then you are and have tride
to look at the matter on both sides. why father aint
within a most a hundred years so old as eny of
them but he gnew how to pleese them. mother
looked mad but father went on. as for you Missis
Peezly nobody here ever heard of you having fits
or ennything else. i goke a good deel to home here
and i never goke about peeple i dont like. it is
always about peeple for which i have the greatest
respec and liking. i may have sed sumthing like
what he sed and if i did i hadent augt to have did
it, and woodent have did it if i had suposed that
this boy woodent have gnew better than to have
took it serius. i beg your pardon verry sincerely
and this boy must do it two. so father he done it
and i had to do it a 2th time. well she told father
she was sorry she lost her temper with him for
evrybody sed he was a perfick gentleman, but she
still thougt the boy had augt to be punished verry
sevearly for mottifiing her so. father he sed she
mite be very sure he wood attend to that and he
glore at me when he sed it as if he wood cut me into
40 peaces and she sed good nite to father and good
nite to mother and mother looked at her as if she
wasent there and old Missis Peezly tirned red and
snifed and went out stifleged.

then father he sed to Rody Shatuck now Missis
Shatuck the last thing in the wirld that a yung lady
shood be ashamed of is to be slite and graiceful.
that is one of the menny things you had augt to be
proud of. there isnt a fat woman in this town
whitch dusent envy you for your graice and activity,
of coarse the boy was very infortunate in
his choice of words but i asure you that the only
thing he did was to call two publick atension to your
verry atractive figure. i am real sorry i was not
there to taik advantage of a most unusual oportunity.
and then old Rody gigled and sed she had
been told she had a fine figure but she dident like
to be told like i told it and father glore at me again
and sed it woodent happen again and she sed goodnite
to father and to mother and mother looked at
her as if she wasent there at all and she tirned red
and snifed and went off stifleged like old Missis

then father sed to Mary Ann and Unice Wilkins
and Feeby Derborn. young ladies there probly aint
enny peeple that do as mutch for the moral uplif
of the chirch as those devoted young wimmen whitch
do so mutch to help the minister in his menny duties
in the chirch and parrish and when the history of
the chirch is rote you young ladies will occupy a
very high place on the role of onner. they always
is and always will be peeple whitch is consoomed
with gelousy and probly sum one has sed things and
my son has heard them. but i am sure young ladies
whitch is so kind harted as you have shew yourselfs
to be will not be two sevear on a boy whitch at the
time was sufering from poizen ivory and over eating
and as for his part he wood punish him sevearly
for saying what he did.

so they sed if he wood do that it wood be all rite
and they sed it was a pleasure to talk with a man
who was so willing to do rite and to maik others
do rite and father sed it was a pleasure to meat and
talk to ladies of their standing in chirch and in
society and he shook hands with them and they sed
good nite to father and to mother and mother looked
at them jest as if they wasent there, and they all
tirned red and snifed and went off mad as time and
jest as stifleged as the others.

well after they had went father looked at mother
kind of funny and scrached his hed and sed well
Joey, he calls mother Joey, you have got about as
mutch tack as a fire alarm on resurexion day and
mother sed George Shute do you realy mean to say
that you are going to whip him for lying to you after
what you have sed to them wimmen? and father
laffed and sed he had to do sumthing to teech me a
lesson and that one moar nite like this wood send
him to a mad house. and mother told him he lide to
them wimmen wirse than i had lide to him and he
sed it wasent lies it was dipplomercy and if she had
enny tack he wood have had them gnitting sox and
mittens for him, and mother snifed two.

so then he took me up stairs and licked me. not
verry hard but moar than i desirved. but the wirst
was that i cant go out of the yard for 3 days and
nex weak is the last weak of vacation. i think it is
prety meen to treat a boy so whitch has lade between
life and deth for 3 days. i always get the
wirst of it when i try to be good.

i never will try to be good again if i live a million

September 4, 186- brite and fair. it mite jest
as well rane as not. i cant go out of the yard
today and none of the fellers have been up. i saw
Beany ride by on Jo Palmers back. i hollered at him
but he dident look. then Pewt went down throug the
high school yard with 2 oars over his shoulder. me
and Pewt aint so frendly now becaus old man Purinton
has bougt 2 boats, new ones and is leting them
to peeple for less than i get for mine. he has
painted them all white with a red rim and a picture
on the stirn and they dont enny peeple want my
boat. i wasent mad with Pewt but he feals so big
over his old boats that it maiks me sick.

ennyway he mite have come over to see me when
i was sick and laid between life and deth 3 days.
sum other peeple mite have come. Lizzie Tole was
one of them. if it had been Beany she wood have
went to see him.

i read in a book onct how a feller had a girl
whitch took up with another feller whitch had a
fine horse and buggy and a silver mounted harnis.
so this feller told her he had lost all faith in wimmens
consistency and had put them out of his life for
ever. so the girl laffed and told him all rite she
dident cair. so he went away with his hart curroded
with bitterniss and went to wirk in a hotel. He
wirked so hard that in 3 years he oaned the hotel
and had money in the bank. then the girl rote him
that she had always luved him and never had luved
the other feller but he rote her that the dye was
cast, he shood never marry. and he never did, so
his children never gnew a mothers cair.

so i shall never marry like that feller who dident
and all on account of Beany. sumhow i cant get
mad with Beany. i had augt to menny times and
keep mad two but i cant do it.

September 5, 186---i got up erly this morning
befoar father went to Boston and took cair of Nellie
and swept out the stable and luged in the water and
split a lot of wood and blacked fathers boots and
set up and had breckfast with him. i was hoaping
he wood let me go out of the yard. but he dident
say nothing about that but did say i had got to get
up evry morning befoar he goes away and do my
chores i done them so well this morning. i thougt
that was a prety mean thing for him to do. i wished
i hadent got up. well tonite father he caime home
mad and sed i was the bigest fool he ever see. he
sed i had blacked his boots with stove polish and
evrybody laffed at him. so i wont have to get up.
i had to black his boots over 2 times with Day and
Martins blacking befoar i cood get them to shine.
it was a awful long day in the yard. Beany brougt
his black and tan terrier over and we got Frank
Haines dog over and had a fite but jest as they
were going good mother come out and poared a
pale of water on them and they run off prety quuick.
neether licked. that is always the way. sumbody
always stops the good fites.

it was Saterday nite and after i had luged in
about a milion pales of water and filled all the tubs
for the folks to taik there baths in father he sed
to mother, Joey, he calls her Joey, becaus her name
is Joanna. sumtimes when father wants to plage
her he calls her Johanna with a h and says she is
irish. she dont like that becaus she is inglish.
mother came to America when she was 3 years of
aig and so she doesent remember verry much about
ingland. father says mother dont understand gokes
becaus she is inglish and mother says she is glad
of it becaus a good menny of fathers gokes hadent
augt to be understood by ennybody. when she says
that father always laffs and says she is a goker
herself sumtimes.

well i forgot what i was a going to say becaus
when i wright about my father and mother i dont
think about ennything else they are so bully. My
father was the best fiter in Exeter or ennywhere
elce. Ed Thursten told me that once he and father
went down to newmarket and a feller in the hotel
tride to lick father and father hit him a old he one
in the snout and gnocked him up 2 flites of stairs
and round 3 corners befoar he stoped. i bet they
aint many fellers whitch cood do that. ennyway
Ed was there and seen him do it and he says he
can show me the hotel and the stairs and the corners
he went round and the big dent in the wall where
he stoped. so i gess it must be so. i bet Beanys
father coodent do it. i bet Pewts coodent eether.

evrybody likes father and calls him George and
he gokes with them and gets them to say funny
things and then he laffs and evrybody laffs. so he
dont never have to fite now. i am glad of it for i
shoodent like to se father fite even if he can lick

gosh it is funny i forgot what i was going to say.
you see i think father and mother is about the best
peeple in the wirld. i dont know whitch is best.
father says mother is wirth 500 of him and he augt
to know becaus he has gnew her longer than i have.

well father sed well Joey, he calls her Joey, how
has the boy behaived himself today and mother sed
he has done verry well indeed. so father he sed
to me what do you say if we go in swimming at
the gravil and i sed all rite i wood like to. so we
went down to the boat and i rew him up to the
gravil and we went in and had a grate swim. father
dont like to have me swim under water. he says
i stay under so long that he gets scart for fear that
i wont never come up. after we got back home he
let me go down town with him and after he had
been to old Tom Conners store and old Nat Weeks
and old Josh Getchels and Gid Lyfords we went
into Fogg and Fellows store and father bougt a
new novil for me. the naim of it is Grissly Ike
the Scalp Lifter. i bet it is a riper. i havent read
it yet becaus father sed as long as he let me go out
befoar my tirm of imprisenment was over i had
got to let Cele read it first. so she read it most all
the evining. she only read one palsam tonite. she
aint so religus as i thougt she was when they is a
new novil round.

September 6, 186---brite and fair to-day and
cool. it feals like autum. i tell you i dont like to
have the summer go. one weak from nex munday
school begins. i hait to think of it. we will have
to do the old xamples about A. and B. and how
many squaire feet there is in 4 ackers 2 roods and
28 rods and New Hamshire is bounded on the
north by Maine on the east by long ileand Sound
on the south by Rode Iland and Conetticut and on
the west by New York, and the capital of Tennysee
is Tallyhassy and the capital of New York is Oswego
and things we lerned last year. sumtimes
i feal like saying to old Francis, who sed it aint,
but i know if i did he wood lam time out of me.
well i have got one moar weak. i hoap i wont be
kep in enny more. i cant spair a single minit.

went to chirch today. the quire coodent sing becaus
sumthing was rong with the organ. only the
squeel keys wood go and they went as loud as a
steam whistle. the base keys woodent maik a single
yip. old Chipper Berley clim into the organ after
chirch was over and found that sumbody had stufed
a old pair of overhals and a old hat all spatered
with paint into the big pipe. Chipper told Beany
he done it and Beany he sed he dident hoap to die
an cross his throte and then Chipper he held up the
overhals and the hat and they both had I. M. Watson
rote on them and so Beany has lost his gob
this time forever so Chipper sed and he waulked
Beany out by the ear. Beany told me honest he
dident do it. he sed he pumped jest as hard as he
cood becaus he dident want to let the wind go out.
Chipper sed the reeson he pumped so hard was
becaus he gnew that all the wind wood go into the
squeel keys and sound awful. Beany feals prety
bad over it becaus he needed the money. he has
bougt sumthing at old Bill Morrils gewelry store.
I knew what it is two and who it is for but Beany
dont know i know. Beany will feal prety cheap if
he has to give it back to old Bill. praps she wont
give it back to Beany. then Beany will be in a
scraip. ennyway if she wont give it back Beany
wont never forgive her. i hoap she wont. it will
be tuf on Beany.

September 7, 186---Beany is fealing prety bad.
he asted me if i cood lend him a dollar. honest i
coodent becaus i aint got it. he says he has got to
get a dollar ennyway. i lent him 40 cents so he
aint got to get but 60 cents moar. he tride to get
a gob today poasting bills but Cris Staples got it.
then Beany he went up to Chipper Berleys to get
his pay and Chipper told him he was lucky not to
get arested for distirbing a religus meating. so
Beany dont know what to do. he aint got ennything
to sell and i aint eether. he tride to borrow
it of Pewt but Pewt sed he dident have it.

September 8, 186---they is a circus coming to
town next Friday. it was going to be in Portsmouth
but there was another circus got the the
circus grounds ferst and so they are coming to
Exeter. me and Pewt and Beany are going to get
a gob poasting bills. the bill poaster was in town
today with a red and blue and gold cart with 2
calico horses and put up the big bills. he only had
2 big ones and dident have enny others and cant get
them until Wensday nite and he wants me and Pewt
and Beany to put them up in the nite so that when
the peeple get up in the morning they can see them
the ferst thing. the way he hapened to get us is
becaus Beanys father and Pewts father is painters
and paper hangers and so they went to them and
they wodent stay up all nite to do it and then he
asted if they was enny boys to do it for a dollar a
peace and a ticket and so we got the gob. we cant
tell ennyone jest what we have got to do but it is
bully. he told us that we was to put the pictuers
up in the rite places to make a show and atract the
attension of the peeple. where they cood see them
the best. so we are going to do it. he says the
secrit of poasting bills is to get them in the rite
places. he give us a list of the pictures. these are
them. the hippotymus the behemuth of hoaly rit.
the boar constricter whitch can crush and swalow a
hole dear or oxx at one meal. the hieener that by
stelth repairs to the graive yards at nite and digs
up the bodys of the ded and devours them. Jo Jo
the dog face man the ofspring of a babboon and a
aborrygine, the most repullsive haff human being
in the wirld. the stork which brings blessings to
the householes in the shape of babies. the cheater
or hunting lepard. the spider munkey, and the
tapir and the geraft. Pewt has got the list so peraps
i havent rote them all rite. we are going to
meat and deside where to poast them up as soon
as Pewt gets them. peraps tomorrow.

Sept. 9, 186---rany today and cold as time. i tell
you it ranes and blows. Aunt Sarah says may be
it is the equinoxious storm. that usually comes on
the 22th. i hoap it wont rane Wensday nite. we
cant poast up bills in a rane storm and if we dont
poast up them bills we dont get no dollar and no
ticket and what will Beany do then? Beany is in
a tite place. if he cant get that dollar he has got
to get that present back from Lizzie Tole. if she
wont give it back then Beany may have to go to
jale and he wont never forgive her. if she has to
give it back she will be mad with Beany forever
and ever. i almost hoap it will rane. no i dont
eether. it will be two tuf on Beany. what ever
Beany has did to me i like him and i hoap it wont
rane and that Beany will get his dollar. i cant be
mutch fairer than that can i?

this afternoon we went up in the barn on the
hay, me and Pewt and Beany and talked over where
we are going to poat up the bills nex Wensday nite
tomorrow. it raned so that Pewt dident dass to
bring over the bills. they are in his shop all roled
up in a role as big as my leg and tide tite. so we
looked at our list and we are going to put the picture
of the cheeter on decon Aspinwalls house. he is the
bigest cheeter we know and everybody says so.

the stork we are going to put on Mrs. Clarisser
Dorsons front door. Pewt says he heard his mother
say that the dorsons xpect a baby pretty soon. so
we all agreed that wood be the place to put it.

we all got jawing about where we shood put the
picture of the elefant. Beany thougt it had augt to
go on Horris Cobbs front door. Pewt thougt it
had augt to go on old mister Gechels store and i
thougt it had augt to go on Fatty Frogs house.
Horris Cobb is the fattest man in town but he aint
tall. odd mister Gechel is feerful tall, almost ten
feet i gess but he aint verry big as Fatty Fogg is lots
taller than Horris and 3 times as big round as old
mister Gechel. so we decided to put the elefant on
Fatty Foggs house and the Giraft on Gechels house.

the hieener we are going to put on the berrying
ground gait rite under where it says we are all passing
away. you know the hieener digs up people and
devours them and Beany says that will go well with
the sine. that was a good one for Beany. i bet
that circus man will say we are prety smart felers.

the howling munkey we are going to put on the
Methydist parsonage. the reverent Josiar Higgins
has got white whiskers on his throte jest like the
howling munkeys and i bet he can howl as loud
sundays. so that is the rite place for that picture.
i never gnew befoar how mutch beter it is to have
things did rite.

we are going to put the picture of the tapir on
my uncle Gilman's house. Pewt thougt it had augt
to be put on Ikey Blums house only Ikey aint got
any house and his shop is not on enny street. Ikey
has a old plug horse and colects bones and rags and
iron. he has the longest nose i ever see. it goes
way down over his mouth. i dont see how he can
eat. my uncle Gilman has got the next longest nose.
his nose is a good deal biger than Ikeys but it aint
so long. but uncle Gilman is lucky becaus he has
got a house to put the picture on. he can blow his
nose so it sounds jest like a cornet. not so good as
Bruce Briggam can play the cornet but prety good.

i bet he will be pleesed that he beat Ikey and Ikey
will be mad, but nobody can have evrything in this

the picture of the boar constricter we are going
to put on the front gait of old decon Eberneaser
Petigrew. he goes to all the chirch supers and eats
moar than enny man there. one time Charlie Folsom
the resterant man whitch makes clam chowder
wanted to see how mutch old Eben cood eat and he
invited him in and made a hoal wash boiler full of
chowder. Charlie sed he put in a peck of clams and
2 galons of milk and a lot of potatoes and onyiuns
and he invited old decon Petigrew in and he et
and et and et and et. Charlie begun to get scat for
feer he wood bust. bimeby he stoped eating becaus
he coodent hold enny moar. he had et all but about
4 quats. Charlie dident sleep enny that nite he
wurrid so about decon. he thougt sure he wood die
befoar morning. so he got up erly the nex morning
and come down town. when he went by Ebens
house he looked up to see if there was enny craip
or a reath on the door. there wasent so he gnew
he hadent dide but he gessed he was prety sick. well
what do you think when he got to his resterant there
stood old Eben all rite wateing for him and he told
Charlie that if he dident want the rest of that chowder
he wood take it. so Charlie he give it to him
and he says he must be jest like a boar constricter.

father has always told me to do evry thing rite
that i attempt to do. he tells me that all the time. i
gess he will find that i can do things rite as well as
the nex one. tonite when we come out of the barn
it had stoped raning and the sun come out i hoap
it will be good wether tomorrow and nex day two.
Pewt is going to make 2 buckets of paist. me and
Beany are to get the flour for it and Pewt makes
it. he knows how better than we do. he and Beany
fernish the brushes to put on the paist. i fernish a
lantirn if it is two dark.

September 10, 186---brite and fair and jest bully
wether. i got up late today and i am glad of it
becaus i have a hard days wirk tonite, father told
me this morning that i must distinkly understand
that there aint going to be no fooling tonite but
jest wirk. i prommised we woodent do nothing but
wirk and put the bills in the best places so as to
pleese evrybody. that is what the circus man told
us not to do enny damige and not to get ennyone
mad but to put the bills where they will attrack the
most atension. and that is why he is to pay us so
mutch money and give us a ticket apeace to the show.

after breckfast i split up enuf wood for today
and luged in 2 pales of water and went over to
Pewts. Beany was there and we opened the role
of pictures and they were old lunkers. gosh the
howling munkeys looked jest like the reverent Josier
Higgins and the cheeter looked kind of slanty eyd
and meen like Decon Aspinwall. the boar constricter
was swalowing a live cow hoal. i bet peeple will
laff. and the tapir honest he looked kind of like
my uncle Gilman.

well we are going to go ferst over the river to
uncle Gilmans and then to old mister Gechel and
then to Pettigrews and then to Clarisser Dorsons
and then to Decon Aspinwalls and then to the reverent
Josier Higgins and so on. Pewt thinks it will
taik 2 hours to do it good so they cant be toar down
if we done it with tacs ennybody whitch dident like
it cood yank it off eesy but if we paist it on with a
little gum arab in it, it will have to be scrope off
with a gnife. so Pewt says and i gess he knows,
we carried up 2 paper bags of flour and Pewt made
2 buckits of paist. we paisted a picture of Flora
Temple the fastest trotting horse in the wirld on a
mahoginy buro that Pewts father is polishing for
Doctor Goram Potters grandfather and i bet it will
taik a weak to get it off. so i gess Pewts paist is
good paist. we are going to meat at Beanys at
haff past 12 oh clock. father is going to wake me
at 12 oh clock. i hoap he wont forget to wake up.
ennyway it wont make enny difference for i shant
go to sleep. i bet we will have a good time.

Beany says it is all up with him if he dont get
that dollar. he says he will be the ferst of his
family to go to jale. that is what a feller gets for
being in debt. Beany had augt to have wated. but
i supose when a feller gets going with a girl he
dont think. Beany is not bad but thinkless. i hoap
it will be a lessen to him. he is feerfully wurrid
but he needent be for if the wirst comes to wirst i
shall sell one of my hens. i havent told him this
becaus if he gnew it perhaps he wood spend the
dollar for sumthing else for her. but while i have
a hen to my naim Beany shall not go to jale. i wood
not go to bed at all tonite if father woodent know it
but if my lite aint out by 10 oh clock he hollers for
me to go to bed lively. so i am going to read
Grissly Ike the Scalp Lifter until 10 oh clock and
then go to bed and lissen for the clock to strike 12.

September 13, 186---this is saterday. i almost
wish i was ded. i havent been out of my room
sence Thirsday xcept to split wood and lug water
and feed the sheep and horse and hens. father says
one moar sumer like this one will make a gibbering
manioc of him. he says there must be sumthing
rong with me. he dont know wether he had augt
to lick it out of me or send me to the reform school
or to a place where they keep idjuts. that is the
way he talks to me but when old Decon Aspinwall
and the reerent Josier Higgins and Clarisser Dorsens
husband and old man Pettigrew sed i had augt
to be sent to the reform school he told them to go
strait to hell and try it if they thougt they cood.
Beanys father has kep Beany in his room and Pewts
father has kep Pewt in. the only time i can speak
to Beany is after father has went to Boston and
Beanys father has went down town we holler across
from our chamber winders. we havent seen Pewt
for his chamber is on the back of his house. i asted
Beany what he was going to do about the dollar and
he says he xpected the poliseman to come for him
enny time. i told him if the poliseman come to tell
him to come over and take the best hen i had.
Beany felt better and sed i was a trew frend. he
says it is a pity things is as they is but he cant help
it. a feller cant help they way he feals sumtimes.
peraps i am lucky that Beany has cut me out for if
i had cut him out i mite be xpecting to go to jale.
if i hadent heard father tell them men to go to hell
i wood be afrade of going tojale or the reform
school. i dont beleeve reform school or jale is enny
wirse then staying in your room when a circus
paraid is going by on the nex strete.

i think i will wright about what has hapened tomorrow
whitch is sunday. i want to finish reading
Grissly Ike the Scalp Lifter. Cele tiptode up to my
room and threw it in. Cele always stands up for a
feller when he is in truble. probly after the hoal
thing has bloan over if it ever does Cele will
tell mother she done rong in giving me the novil
and will ask to be punished that is jest like Cele.

September 14, 186---brite and fair. i am in my
room wrighting. most everybody has went to chirch
xcept mother who never gets time to go and father
who is eether over to Pewts fathers shop or over
to Beanys fathers barn talking. Beany has got his
gob back becaus they found out that Pewt put the
overhals and old hat into the organ. he done it to
play a trick on Beany but he dident meen to lose
him his gob. so it is all rite. i see Beany going to
chirch. i cant go. it is tuf to have to stay in your
room and not be aloud to go to chirch. that is a
prety way to bring up a boy i shood say. it will be
lucky for them if i dont grow up a drunkard and a
robber or a berglar. some day father will be sorry
for what he has did to me.

well it is a long story. last Thursday nite i fell
asleep and father waked me up at 12 oh clock. i
went to Beanys and found him and we went to Pewts
and got the paist and the pictures. i luged one
pale and Beany the other. Pewt luged the paper.
we had to change hands lots of times and set the
pales down. i tell you they was heavy. it was
clowdy but as it was moon time it was prety lite.
we dident see nobody and it seamed kind of dreery.

we got to uncle Gilmans and paisted the picture
of the tapir up rite on the front side of his house.
then we went to Gechels house and paisted up the
giraft. we had a long handeled brush and i had to
stand on Beanys shoulder to reech the girafs head.
the picture reeched nearly to the roof. once we
thougt we was cougt but it was only a horse kicking
in the barn. we dident make enny noise and
when we talked we jest wispered. it was almost as
mutch fun as hooking water mellons. then we went
to old Pettigrews and paisted up the boar constricter.
then we went to Fatty Foggs and his dog woodent
let us come near the house. we thougt he wood
knaw us and Pewt hit him with a rock and he yelped
so loud that old Fatty come down in his shirt tale
and a little tin lamp but we was hid behine sum

then we went to Clarisser Dorsens but it was all
lit up and doctor Perrys horse and chase was there
hiched to a poast. we wated and bimeby old man
Dorson come out on the run and went down town.
bimeby he came back with a old woman and they
went into the house so we coodent put the stork
picture on her house without being cougt and we
put it on Billy Hansoms house. Billy and his wife
have jest been married and last weak the fellers
give them a serinaid. so we thougt they wood be
pleased to be notised. by that time the town clock
struck 2. so we had to hurry and them pales was
heavy. so we come over the bridge and throug
Clifford strete to Coart strete. Pewt he had to go
into his house and while he was gone Beany sed it
wood be a good goke on Pewt to put Jo Jo the Dog
faced man picture on Pewts house because Pewts
father has got long wiskers. so we done it and when
Pewt come out we told him we had put it on old
Hen Dows house and Pewt thougt that was bully.

Then Beany wanted to go in his house to get
sum donuts and while he was in Pewt sed it wood
be a good thing to put the Spider Monkey picture
on Beanys house. Beanys father is kind of thin
and wear awful tite britches and a blew coat and
dresses elegant and so we done it and when Beany
come out with his donuts we set down and et them
and he dident notise ennything.

well after we had et the donuts we paisted up the
Cheeter picture on Decon Aspinwalls house and the
elefant on Horris Cobbs house and the Hineer one
on the berrying yard. we tried verry hard to do a
good gob there and we gnew it wood maik a fine
apearance rite under the sine we are all passing
away. then we come home. father let me in and
asted me if i done enny damige and i sed no. he
asted me where we paisted up the bills and i told him
he cood see in the morning when he went to the
trane. so i went to bed.

the nex morning mother come up and waked me
and told me to dress and come down stairs jest as
quick as i cood. she looked xcited. i asted her if
ennybody was sick and she sed wirse than that. i
cood hear peeple talking loud down stairs and i run
down as quick as i cood get my close on and without
washing my face or comeing my hair. when i got
down there in the setting room i saw Billy and Mrs.
Billy Hanson and old Pettigrew and Beanys father
and Pewts father and the reverent Josier Higgins
and old man Wiggins the trusty of the berrying
ground and Decon Aspinwall and Pewt and Beany
and father and mother and Aunt Sarah. and they
were all piching in xcept father and mother and
Aunt Sarah who dident say ennything. Mrs. Billy
Hanson sed she had never been so insulted in her
life. she sed she had lived a good cristian life and to
have sech a insult paisted on her house was more
than flesh and blud cood stand and she boohood
like a big baby. and Decon Aspinwall sed he had
stood all he was going to and this time the coarts
wood take it up and settle it onct for all if peeple
was to be insulted and defaimed and there rites
trampled on and the reverent Josier sed he thougt
the sacrid eddifise of whitch he was a unwerthy
paster had augt to be safe from infaimus attacks
and that he shood ast the coarts to rite him in the
publick ey.

and old man Wiggins he sed that the ded wood
tirn in there graives if they see what was on the
berrying ground gait. and Beanys father sed he
wasent going to be called a spider munkey for nothing
and Pewts father sed he was going to find out
who poasted up that Jo Jo bill befoar he left, if
it took the rest of his lifetime. then they all talked
together and made a feerful noise. bimeby father
sed now you have all had your chance, less find out
sumthing about it. so he told them what he gnew
about the circus man asking us to poast the bills
and Pewts father and Beanys father sed that was so.
then father asted me why i done it and i told him
we were told to poast the bills in aproprate places
to atrack attension and we done it. i sed we was
going to put the stork up on Missis Dorsens house
but the doctor was there and we coodent and so we
put it on Misses Hansons. and then Missis Hanson
saled into me like time again then Pewts father sed
Pewt sed he dident know ennything about puting the
Jo Jo bill on his house and i sed he was in the house
then and Beanys father sed Beany sed he dident
know about the spider munkey bill and i sed Beany
was in the house then and i done it.

then they all sed i was the ring leeder and had led
Pewt and Beany into temptasion and old Decon Aspinwall
sed it was mity queer that we dident put up
ennything on fathers house and the boy was the
father of the man and that he wood see that i was
sent to the reform school and that father paid
heavy damages.

that was the time father got mad and told him
to go to hell and old Decon went off to see his
lawyer. then father told the others that he wood
do all he cood to make it rite and he took me round
to all of them to their houses and made me beg their
pardon. peeple were scraping the pictures off and
washing them with hot water and evrybody was

Uncle Gilman and Mister Gechel and Horris Cobb
all laffed and sed it was a good goke but the others
were all feerful mad with me and father and not
very mad with Pewt and Beany. that is all rite but
the idea of me leading Pewt and Beany into temtasion
makes me sick.

well Pewt got a licking and Beany got a licking
and i got a licking and we have all got to stay in
the house until school begins. but Beany had to go
to chirch to keep his gob.

it is prety tuf to stay in a fellers room and to hear
a circus band playing and not go jest becaus we
tride to do the best we cood. ennyway i am glad i
aint going to the reform school. father jest come
in with a paper. he sed he had been arested and
had to get bale. he sed old Decon Aspinwall had
sewed him for 10 thousand dollars for defaiming
his caracter. father sed old Decon had to go to
Portsmouth for a lawyer, and that Amos Tuck and
General Marstin and Judg Stickney and Alvy Wood
all come up and sed they wood see him throug without
paying a dam cent. father feals prety good tonite.
Aunt Sarah says he always does when there
is a chane for a fite.

this is the ferst time in my life i ever hoaped
school wood begin. ennything is beter than staying
in your room.

September 15, 186---school begun today and
i went. i dident supose i ever wood ruther go to
school than stay in my room espeshully a school
whitch is taugt by old Francis. but they is always
sumthing lively taiking place in old Francis school.
sumtimes Micky Guold is setting down on tacts or
the points of pens whitch has been stuck in his seet
so they wont fall over like a bent pin whitch aint
mutch good enyway most of the time and hollering
bludy merder and geting snached baldheaded for it
by old Francis, or Beany or Bug Chadwick is being
ferriled with a hard wood ruler with 2 hairs in the
pam of there hand to splitt the old ruler into fraggments
whitch i have never seen did yet in this life
or licked sumwhere else whare nuthing will do enny
good xcept a peace of paistboard or the Exeter
Newsleter in the set of their britches, or Pop Clark
is maid to eat a apple before the hoal school as fast
as he can with rot and wirm holes and wirms and
the stem and seeds and the coar or Skinny Bruce
is being snaiked over 2 seets and put in the woodbox
with the cuvver down because Gim Erly whitch sits
behine Skinny put a pin in the toe of his shue and
reeched over and kicked Tady Finton whitch sits in
front of Skinny and old Francis wont believe
Skinny but licks him onct for doing it and twict
for liing about it whitch he says is twict as wirse
as doing it, or Fatty Gilman is down on all foars and
howling while old Francis lams him with the haff of
the broom stick he stirs the fire with while Fatty
is triing hard to crawl throug a chair whitch he cant
do enny moar than the cammel cood crawl throug
the ey of the needle in the bible.

All of them things is taiking place in old Francis
school every day whitch makes it a very intersting
place when you are not the feller whitch is doing
them things but is setting down and waching them
out of the coner of your ey and pertending to studdy
hard whitch nobudy can do when sumbuddy is howling
terruble and banging agenst seets and you never
know when your tern wil come nex.

but it is lots beter than staying in your room
and not seing the fellers and coppying there xamples
and getting so far behine in your studdies that you
are shoar to get licked evry day for a week or 2.
there is sum fun in geting licked onct in a while if
you have a chance to escaip and it is a grate deel
moar fun if sumbuddy else gets licked for sumthing
you have did. sumtimes a feller will tel on sumbuddy
else and then evry feler whitch can lick him
licks him the ferst time they gets the chance. but
most of the fellers will take another fellers lickings
without a yip. Old Francis lickings is wirse than 2
or 3 of another fellers lickings but aint so bad as 30
or 40 lickings whitch a feller is shoar to get if he
tells on anuther feller to say nuthing about the girls
running their tungs out at you and calling you tattle
tail and stiking their nose up in the air when they
goes by you whitch maiks a feller feal prety cheep
whitch is sumtimes wirse than a licking.

So on the hoal i had ruther go to school than stay
in my room whitch dont make enny diference becaus
i have got to go ennyway wether i want to or not.

tonite i had to studdy Colburn arithmatic. it is
the wirst book i ever studded. i bet there aint a boy
in this wirld whitch doesnt want to paist time out of
old Colburn. i had ruther be a merderer if nomuddy
gnew it than be a feler whitch rote a arithmatic.
Ennyway old Colburn had a key whitch tells
jest how to do the xamples and has them all figgered
out. teechers is aloud to have the key but the
scholers cant have it. Enny time old Francis dont
know how to do a xample he looks in his key and
lerns how and then a feller whitch dont have a key
is snached baldheaded becaus he dont know how to
do it. i dont think that is fair. i had 10 xamples
to do and i have got them all did. Cele done 4 and
Keene 3 and father 3. so i am all rite tomorrow.
father give me 2 bats in the ear befoar i undestood
one xample. Keene gets mad but she dont dass to bat
me. Cele is the best.

September 16, 186---brite and fair. i havent let
my boat for a long time. Pewts' father has got the
best boats now. it was prety quite in school today
only 9 fellers got licked. five of them hollered to
make old Francis stop. Scotty Briggim never hollers
and Stubby Gooch and Tady Tilton and Jack
Mevlin dont ever holler. Nigger Bell never got
but one licking and he hollered louder than enny
feller i ever herd Old Francis dont lick him becaus
he hollers so loud.

September 17, 186---brite and fair. i havent had
a cent for moar than a weak. it is tuf to be so
poar. i have got to rase sum chink sumhow. Beany
aint paid me my 40 cents yet.

September 18, 186---i got licked today in school.
jest for nothing. sum one put sum gum in Medo
Thirstems seet and he coodent get up to resite and
old Francis yanked him up and found the gum and
licked me becaus i set jest behine his seet. he sed
he had been keeping his ey on me for a long time.
it cant be very long becaus school has only been 3
days. today was wensday and there wasent enny
school in the afternoon. me and Putter went up
river fishing and caught 8 pickeril. prety good
for us.

September 19, 186---brite and fair. nex weak
is the county fair and cattle show. i am going. the
band is pracktising evry nite and that is the reeson
i cant get my lessons. no feller can studdy when a
band is playing king John quickstep and red stocking
quickstep and romanse from Leeclare and departed
days and things like them rite across the strete. so
i miss in my lessons and get licked most every day.
sum day i am going to play in a band. i shall play
a e flat cornet like old Robinson and Bruce Briggim
and Rashe Belnap. they played a new peace tonite.
i shoodent think men whitch cood play in a band
wood ever do ennything else. i never wood.

September 20, 186---rany as time. i hoap it
wont rane next weak when they are having the fare.
tonite it raned so hard that the band dident pracktise
so i had time to studdy. i coodent do ennything
this afternoon but set in Ed Toles barn and
see the horses rubed down.

September 21, 186---brite and fair today. i went
to chirch today. After chirch me and father went
up to the fair grounds. they have got a lot of sheds
bilt and most of the fence is up and the ralings
round the track. i bet it will be a good fair.

Peekily Tiltons father plays in the band and 3
uncles. his father plays a b flat tenner horn and his
uncle Ed plays a e flat base horn and his uncle
George plays an e flat alto horn and his uncle Warrin
plays a b flat cornet. Peeliky says he is going to
play some day. he doesnt know what he will play
but he wil play sumthing. i asted father why he
dident play in the band and he sed they was dam
fools enuf in the wirld without he being one. i was
going to ast him to by me a cornet but i desided
i woodent jest yet. i gnew jest what he wood say
if i asted him.

father says he dont like band playing but i notise
he stays to home the nites the band plays and sets
on the steps an lisens and beets time with his foot
and sumtimes puts in as good base as Ed Tilton,
Peeliky Tiltons uncle can with his base horn and
when sumbuddy in the band plays out of tune he
gumps up and waulks up and down the piaza and
says why dont they hit that feller with a ax. so
i know he likes band playing as wel as i do. i wish
he played in the band fer then i wood go into the
bandroom and hear them. me and Beany tride
to go in one nite and we was jest going up stairs
when sumbuddy throwed a hoal pale of water on us
and we skined out prety lifely. i woodent care if
they only wood let us in after they had throwed
the water but they hollered get out of here you little
devils or we will drownd you. i bet them band
fellers can lick enny other band fellers and beat
them playing two. i bet our band is as good as enny
band in the wirld.

September 22, 186---i am terible xcited. we are
going to have three days vacasion this week while
they have the fair and cattle show and i have got a
seeson ticket becaus Charles Talor is going to have
Nellie to drive the hoal time. he gets the hay and
grane and straw for the annimals and has got to be
going in and out of the fair grounds al the time and
father has let him have Nellie and he give me and
father a seeson tickit. so i kin go all the time so
long as i split my kinlins and get in my wood and
all the pales of water mother wants. Beanys father
is going to ride in percession as marchal with a yeller
sash on and long yeller gloves on and a stick with
red and white and blew ribbons on it and so Beany
has got a seeson tickit two and Pewts father is going
to put sum golden pollish hens and sum rocky mountain
hens in the hen show and so Pewt has got a
seeson ticket. Beany has pade me back my forty
cents. i tell you there aint many fellers whitch has
as good luck as i have got. 3 days vacasion and a
season tickit to a fair and cattle show and plenty of
money. i dont se what else a feller cood want. tonite
i studded as hard as i cood with a band playing
2 or 3 new peaces. Cele helped me with my examples.
it wont do for me to miss in my lessons tomorrow
or nex day. i gess with Celes help i can
hang on for 2 days more after that i dont care so

September 32, 186---it looks like rane. i hoap
it wil rane today if it ranes this weak. today i saw
a man drive throug town in a high wheal gig hiched
to a auful long legged horse. the man had on a
cap with a long viser and had pullers on his ranes
and had 2 pales hung under his gig and set on a lot
of blankits and the horse had on a white blanket
with red letters on it whitch sed Flying Tiger 2.57
enterd for the free for all. he asted Tommy Tomson
the way to the fair grounds and Tommy sed he
cood show him and he clim into the gig and drove
off. well Tommy he staid to the fair grounds all the
forenoon and in the afternon old Francis licked him
and made him holler two but Tommy sed it was
worth it to stay to the fair grounds haff a day and
get out of school for one licking. he sed it dident
hurt mutch and he only hollered to make him stop.
Tommy says they have bilt a bandstand and a stand
for the juges and pens for the pigs and hens and
cattle and resterants and pop corn places and evrything
else. i wood like to go up tonite but father
says i cant go up until the ferst day of the fair.

Tommy says there is going to be a snaik charmer
and a bull whitch gives milk and a girl whitch has
got 2 heads and 4 legs and 4 arms and a sheep with
6 legs. mother says i cant go in to see the girl with
4 legs becaus its impropper to look at a girls legs.
i asted father and he sed it is twict as impropper
to look at a 4 leged girls legs as a 2 leged one so i
cant go in to see that.

Tommy sed they was going to be a troting race
for bulls. Charley Treadwill has got a big white
and black bull named Nickerbocker whitch he drives
in a wagon with a bit in his mouth and he is going
to have a race with a bull from Portsmouth.
i bet on Charleys bull. i wish it was a bull fite. i
wood bet on Charleys bull.

old Wakeup Robinson is going to trot his horse
Prince John. they is going to have 2 bands the
Exeter band and the Newmarket band. i bet the
Exeter band is the best. i cant hardly wate for tomorrow.

i dident miss in school today and tonite we set out
on the steps to hear the band. old wisler Weeks is
going to play a fife in the band and old Potsy Dirgin
is going to play a fife two.

September 24, 186---brite and fair and county
fair two. that is a goke and a good one two but
nobuddy will ever see it but me. gosh i am tired
tonite i never had so much fun in my life. we had
the best percession i ever see. first come the marchals
George Perkins and John Gardner and Beanys
father and old Francis and John Gibson all on white
horses xcept George Perkins and John Gardner and
old Francis whitch was on red horses and Jon Gibson
whitch was on a spoted horse and they all looked
fine. then come the Exeter band and then a lot of
ox teems full of wimen in white with their hides
all brushed up with curry combs and their horns all
cuvered with ribbons and evergreens in their slats.
i tell you when old Giddings and old Wiliam Conner
and old Nat Gilman jabbed them with the ox godes
they walked along prety lifely. then come the Newmarket
band and then the fire ingine and a lot of
men with cains and stove pipe hats and then a steam
wagon and then Charles Tredwill driving his bull
and old wakeup Robinson with his troter and a sope
pedler with a humpback horse. it was the best percession
i ever see. the Exeter band played 4 times
as loud as the Newmarket band. i wish you cood
have heard Peeliky Tiltons uncles play you wood
have thougt they wood bust their cheeks but they
dident. Fatty Walker broak 2 heads on his base
drum the ferst day and Len Heirvey broak one in
the snair drum. I gnew they wood beat the Newmarket
band. tonite father and mother and Cele
and Keene and Georgie have went to the haughticulture
show in the town hall. they have all sorts
of frutes and beens and pees and beets and flowers
and gars of frute and perserves and bread and cake
and pyes to see whitch has maid the best and gnitting
and sowing things and drawings and paintings
and bea hives and stufed birds and a stufed wilcat
showing her teeth. it is ded so it cant hirt ennybuddy
and composisons of school girls and handwriting
and lots of things. i wanted to go but
father sed i codent go to evrything. i gess i will
go to bed. i have got a verry bizy day tomorow.
Beany is going to try and get a gob tomorow.

September 25, 186---brite and fair again. i am
prety tired again tonite and am staying to home.
father and arnt Sahar and Keene and Cele and
Georgie have went to the haughticulchure show this
time and me and mother are staying to home.
mother is rocking the baby and i am in my room
wrighting. today there was a percession this morning
and i was in it but only a litle while. i held
one end of the base drum but evry time Fatty Walker
wood hit it a good belt he wood send me flying
round sideways and at the end of the ferst peace i
felt jest as if old Francis had shook my livver out.
so i give it up. so they got Curley Conner a big
feller. Fatty cood bang the drum as hard as he
cood lam it but he coodent nock Curley round.

today the Exeter band beat the Newmarket band
again. it scart 4 horses and made them run awa
and smashed 3 wagons and throwed out 14 people
and the Newmarket band only scart one horse and
dident throw out enny peeple. i tell you Exeter
can beat Newmarket evry time.

Me and Pewt and Beany all got a chance to take a
gob. the man that hollers for Julia the snaik
charmer offerd us 1 doller apeace if we wood stand
up on the platform and let a boar constricter coil
around us and then Julia the snaik charmer wood
come out and charm the snaiks and save our lifes.
you bet we dident take that gob.

Beany got a gob hollering for a peap show of war
pictures but his father come riding up and snaiked
him out. i give 5 cents of my 40 cents that Beany
pade me to get a shock in a lectric machine and
when i got hold of the handels i coodent let go.
i felt like a crasy boan all over and i danced and
hollered till Jerry Carter come up and told the man
if he dident stop the machine he wood smash it and
smash him two so the man he stopped it and i let
go and run. Everybuddy laffed but me and Jerry

then we went to the track to see the bull race.
there was a big black bull hiched into a gig troting
up and down the track and they were wating for
Charly Tredwill and Nickerbocker. bimeby he
come troting down the track and when the red bull
see the other he stopd and pawed the ground and
bellered and Nickerboker he done the sam and both
men begun to lick them but the bulls dident notise
it enny more than if a fli stang them and they put
their heds down and began to push and butt and
hook and roar and they tiped over the gig and the
wagon and throwed Charly and the other man out
and stepped on Charly Tredwill's head and nocked
down the rales and went bang agenst the Juges
stand and everybuddy hollered for Charlys bull
xcept about haff of them whitch hollered for the
other bull but nobuddy dassed to go near them.
bimeby the Captain of the Ingine company whitch
was going to have a xibition squirt hollered to the
fellers to start the breaks and they done it and begun
to squert rite on the bulls heads and they coodent
stand it and they stoped fiting. they were all tuckered
out and there harnasses and wagons was all
smashed to kinlin wood. it was beter than enny dog
fite i ever see. every buddy sed it was the best
thing in the show. i wish they had let them fite it
out. i bet Charlys bull wood lick. father sed
twict that Charly wasent hirt becaus his head was
solid way through. that enny feller whitch wood
fool away his time to trane a bull to trot in a race
coodent be hirt by ennything stepping on his head.
Beany has got a gob as waiter in a resterrent. he
got 50 cents yesterday. Pewt got 50 cents in working
for a feler whitch has a lot of poasts and a lot
of rings. the poasts is all numbered and they is a
preasent for every poast. You give 10 cents to
toss a ring. if you toss it good and it goes over a
poast you get a gold wach or a 12 blaided gnife
or a gold headed cain or a sigar or a whip or a doll
or a glass pitcher. i tossed it over a poast and got
a sigar and i give the sigar to old Barny Casidy and
he lit it and took 2 puffs and spit it out and sed it
was made of a old horse blanket. tomorrow is the
last day of the fair and if i am going to ern enny
money i have got to get a gob prety quick. father
is going to stay at home tomorow to go to the fair.
i have had a auful good time today and seen some
good races but i havent had a gob. Pewt and Beany
always have the luck.

September 28, 186---this is a rany sunday. i
cant go to chirch becaus my paint has not come off
yet. i shood not dass to go to chirch becaus peeple
wood laff rite out loud. father says he dont believe
it will ever come off. but mother says it will with
plenty of greece and soft sope. i am most raw
now. i wish father had kiled that man. i never
got into so bad a scraip before. father says that he
has desided that the reform school or the idjut
assilem is the only place for me but mother says i
needent wurry about that for that is only his talk
but i must be more cairful in the future. i told
her i dident meen ennything rong but only wanted
to earn a little money and she sed she gnew that but
there is sum ways of erning money whitch is open to
objecsion and i gess she is rite and this is one of
them ways. After a feller has had his skin scrubed
with soft sope and bristol brick for two days jest
like pollishing a brass door gnocker he wishes he
was ded.

Well you see i maid up my mind to get a gob
becaus Beany had and Pewt had and i had spent
all my money. so the first thing i done when i had
did my choars was to put for the fair grounds erly.
when i got there i went to the resterrent and asted
them if they wanted a waiter. they sed no but they
was a feller whitch had a tent nex to Julia the snaik
charmer whitch has ben triing to get 2 boys. so i
went over there and there was a new tent and a big
picture painted on a sheet of the wild men of Bornio
whitch was captured after a dredful fite in whitch 6
bludhounds was kiled and 4 men fataly injered for
life. they was a picture of soldiers and hunters with
guns and bludhounds chasing the 2 wild men and
carring off the wounded men and the ded dogs.

when i got there i saw a big man with a big
mustash talking with Hiram Mingo a nigger boy.
i asted him if he had a gob for me and he looked
at me and sed i was prety skinny but perhaps he
cood fix me. he asted us into the tent. i woodent
go for i was afrade of the wild men of Bornio but
he sed the tent was emty. so we went in and he sed
he had bad luck. That both his wild men was sick
and he had a wife and nine small children, and
he had got to earn there bread and the only way to
do it was to get sum kind hearted feller like us to be
wild men. he sed if we wood do that for him he
wood pay us 2 dollars apeace and his nine children
and his sick wife and blind mother wood pray for
us on her gnees. i was auful sorry for him he
looked so sad. he sed he had looked up a lot of
feller and talked with a lot and we was the only
fellers that was smart enuf to do it. he sed he never
was gnew to maik a mistake in a feller. he gnew he
cood trust us enny time. so i asted him what we
wood have to do and he sed he wood paint us up
like wild men and put on sum firs and leperd skins
and sum brass rings on our hine legs and a necklace
of tiger claws and all we wood have to do
was to snarl and say yowk and let out howls, and try
to get at peeple. i dident want to black up but
Hiram dident care becaus he is a nigger. so is asted
him if the black wood ware off and he sed yes and
so after a while i sed i wood. well he made me
take off all my close and he painted me all over
black and he put sum black stuf on my hair and
twisted out all the points whitch stuck up, then he
wound a leperd skin round me and round Hiram
and i had a neck lace of tiger claws and 2 brass
rings round my hine legs. then he took sum red
paint and he painted sum big scars on us where
tigers had toar us. when he showed me in the
looking glass how it looked it scart me. i never
would have gnew it was me. i was wirse looking
than a babboon.

then he learned us how to snarl and yowl and
make faces. he sed it was easier for me to make
faces than enny feller he had ever gnew and he sed
it must come natural to me. He sed i wood scare
a gorilla white. then he lerned us how to fite and
sed we must snarl and fite when he was out on
the platform telling the peeple about us and then we
wood rush in and crack a whip and fire a pistol in
our faces and stop us.

Well after we had lerned how he put a ox chane
on to us and then he went out and begun to holler.
he sed ladies and gentlemen for one short day only
you are privileged to see the wild men of Bornio,
imported at vast expense by arrangements with the
king of Bornio and captured after a terific fite after
6 dogs was killed and 4 men fataly ingered for
life. they are of small size but like the man munky
they have the strength of 7 strong men in their
sinews and boans and in there native lair they track
and kill the maneeting tiger and the lion with there
naked hands. then he pounded his stick twict on
the platform and it was a signal to us and we begun
to yowl and snarl and stamp and he sed there
they are taring each other to bits and he rushed in
and hollered and cracked his whip and fired his pistal
and we yowled and snarld and peeple begun to
rush up and pay 10 cents to come in. when they
saw us one woman sed my what dredful looking
things and one man sed i have got a 15 years old
boy that can lick boath of them munkys. so when
he and his boy come near the platform i gumped
at him and made a auful face and let out a auful
howl and i wish you cood have seen that 15 years
old boy hiper acrost that tent and holler. he was
scart most to deth and the man two and a woman
screached and they had to carry her out. then
the man cracked his whip and drove me back snarling
and making auful faces and Hiram he let out
sum auful yowls and bit his chane and fomed at
the mouth with sope and the man told how only
last weak he had to put on us a red hot iron to drive
us off a hieener whitch had got out of its cage and
had atacted us but he was two lait and before he
cood drive us from our pray we toar him to bits.

A man asted what we et and he sed live rabits and
chickings and sometimes frogs. well peeple kep
coming in droves and bimeby i see Beany an Pewt
come. Beanys eyes were jest like sorcers. i laid
down and snarled a litle and i pertended to be
asleep and snarled in my sleep like a dog does. i
wanted Beany to come near me and so i kep quite
and bimeby Beany and Pewt come close to the platform
and i make a gump at them and let out the
loudest yowl and maid the feerfullst face i cood.

wel Beany went heels over head and hollered bludy
merder and Pewt he div rite out under the bottom
of the tent and that is the last i see of them. a lot
of people come in whitch i gnew and i scart a lot of
them most to deth and old mister Emerson lost his
false teeth and dident das to come back after them.
i never had so mutch fun in my life. bimeby i see
father and Charles Talor come in. when they see
us Talor begun to laff and sed thunder George the
skinny munky faced one is skinny enuf to be your
boy and father laffed and sed did you ever see sutch
a looking thing in your life. i wated till they come
up and then i gumped to the end of my chane and
yowled feerful and toar my hair and stamped my
feet and made faces and snarled auful and Hiram
done the same. they kep back out of reech and
father sed well if them is the kind of things fellers
see whitch has the delirim tremens i never shall taik
another drink what do you say Talor and they laffed
and went out. well we scart peeple all that day and
had a grate time. at dinner he closed the tent and
give us sumthing to eat and drink and then in the
afternoon we done the same thing. we got prety
tired of it but we kep on. bimeby father come in
again and looked round and asted sum men if they
had seen his boy. they sed no and he went away.
bimeby he come in agen and stood and looked at us
a long time. i was tired and dident yowl so mutch.
after awhile he come up near and i made a gump
at him and knashed my teeth. he kep back so i
coodent tare him whitch was a good thing for him
for he wood have broak my back and he sed that is
the ferst time i ever see blew eyd nigger and he
kept looking. well a lot of peeple come in and the
man begun to talk about us and pounded the platform
and we had augt to have fit, but we was boath
prety sick of it and he cracked his whip clost to
Hiram and snached a peace of skin off his back
and it hirt Hiram so bad that he forgot he was a
wild man of Bornio and had been toar by a tiger and
he begun to ball and in a minit evrybuddy was hollering
cheet cheet and father jumped over the raling
and grabed me and yanked me off that platform and
men were hollering kill the cheet and evrybuddy
was trying to get at him and codent find him for he
had got out sumway. wel father sed you infernal
idjut where is your close and i sed in that trunk
and he opened the trunk and got out my close and
made me put them on and Hiram he put his on and
peeple were hollering for there money back for it
was a cheet and i sed where is my 2 dollars and
father sed what you ned is 2 lickings and that is
what you will get when i get you home if i can ever
get your hide clean enuf to lick and he got Charles
Talor to drive up with Nellie and took me home.
When we come out of the tent they was a big crowd
whitch holllered and laffed at us and all the fellers
hollered Plupy the niger munky and Plupy the wild
man of Bornio. it was tuf on me for all Hiram
Mingo had to do was to put on his close and hat and
he was all rite. well when we got home and went
into the house mother was so surprised that she nerly
dropped the baby. i gess she wood have but he
begun to howl and grab her round the neck and
hold his breth and grow black in the face and Franky
and Annie howled and held on to her skerts and to
aunt Sarahs two and they had to be took out of the
room and when mother and aunt Sarah come back
they sed what have you got there George and father
sed it is your smart son, and mother sed what has
he been doing now, and father sed he has been a
wild man of Bornio at 10 cents a whack and mother
and arnt Sarah sed well of all things in this wirld
and then they begun to laff until the teers roled down
there cheaks and father sed i know it aint no laffing
matter and mother sed i know it aint and then she
lafed so it hirt her side. bimeby father sed what
are we going to do. i draw the line at bringing
up a babboon or a man munky in this family.

So mother and aunt Sarah and father and me
went down to the kitchen and got a tub and filled
it with warm water and they put me in and then
they scrubed me with soft sope and then they took
me out and most of the black was on. the water
was sum black but they sed they coodent see it was
enny blacker than when i took my reglar Saterday
bath. then they filled the tub again and scrubed me
with soft sope and bristol brick. it about skined me
and maid me holler. that took off sum of the black.
then they tride seesand and that hirt so they had to
stop so they greesed me with lard and wiped it off
and father sed i was improving. he sed i looked
like a half nigger and he guessed nex week they cood
get me to look like a quarune and praps weak after
nex like a octerune.

i have got to stay in until i get white again.
mother says i am the wirst looking thing she ever
see in her life. father is talking about reform school
again but i ges i needent wurry. today i was two
soar to be scrubed so i was greased and wiped off.

Tomorrow if i am not two soar they are going
to try bristol brick and soft soap again. i had my
head shaived. father done it with the horse clippers.
tomorrow if i am not two soar they are going
to try bristol brick and soft sope again i asted father
if they cougt that man and he sed no they never
wood. it is tuf to end a weak this way. it is a auful
xperience for a feller whitch has always tride to do

September 29, 186---today they almost
skined me alive. i feel like a haol pimpel all red
and swole up. after they get throug skining me with
soft sope and bristol brick and seesand they greece
me all over. they are using mutten taller now becaus
lard is too xpensive so mother says, and father says
it suits me for i am the champeen mutten hed. i ges i
am a quadrune now. it taiks me a hoal day to get
over being skun so they can skin me again. i asted
father why he coodent put me in a tirning laith and
tirn me down jest like they maik wheal hubs down to
old Gus Browns hub shop. father he sed it looked
as if he wood have to and he wood see Gus about it
today. ennyway i dont beleeve it wood hirt as mutch
as seesand.

September 30, 186---Beany come in to see me today.
he laffed so that i told him if he dident stop
i wood give him a bang in the snoot so he stoped.
we plade checkers and dominose. he can beet me
evry time. Beany says i cant go in swiming enny
more for 4 years becaus if i get wet the black comes
back. gosh i wunder if that is so. i have been
reeding Uncle Toms Cabbin and i dont like it enny
moar. i asted mother if what Beany sed was trew
and she laffed and sed of coarse it aint in your
blud and i sed it wood get in if they wasent prety
cairful not to scrub me two hard.

i asted father about it when he come home and
he sed he wasent sure. he sed it depended sum on
how i behaved. that sumtimes a feller wood tirn
black with raige, and if he had been blacked up it mite
come back. i told him i wood do the best i cood if
i ever got white again. i asted how he suposed i
ever was fool enuf to do what i had did and he sed
it seamed to be eesier for me to be a fool than for
most folks. then he sed i was too anchious for
money. he sed it reminded him of a line in a poim
whitch was rote by a lattin gentleman naimed Publius
virgin. i asted him if he was enny relasion of
old John Virgin whitch oaned the trotting horses
and he sed no he dident think he cood be. if he
was it must be straned prety fine. the line went like

  a cused thirst for gold to what dust
  thou compel the human mind

i rote it down jest as father sed it. i dont know
what it means but i dident dass to tel him that and
so i sed yes sir i woodent be surprised if it done jest

I wish i cood go to school again. i wood be willing
to have old Francis lam me.

i suppose the fellers will all laff and call me
munkey face and wild man of Bornio but i woodent
cair for that. tomorrow i shall be well enuf to be
scrubed again. tonite i am greeced and almost too
slipery to lay in bed. i am glad i am not a eal or
a hornpout. i feel jest like them only i aint got
enny horns.

September 31. brite and fair. i have been
scrubed again. i bet they was sum fishooks in that
seesand. it felt so. enyway i am a octerune now
and most white. mother says one moar greecing
will be enuf.

September 32, 186---the last time i was greeced
i had the itch. it wasent as bad as this but i remember
it well.

September 33 186---today i went down town. i
have been away a long time but the town looks about
the saim. Kelley and Gardners have sole 2 gnifes
and Fogg and Fellows have sole sum pipes and a
cuppy Olliver Optics magazene and old Luke Langly
has sole a gointed comb and a tin horn and wagon
but in other respecks things look about the saim. i
am glad i wasent away long enuf for the place to
chainge. that wood be dreadful. i herd of a man
onct whitch was sent to jale for his hoal life.
bimby they was a new king in the land and he let out
the men whitch was in jale this poar man was so
glad to get out that he run 9 miles all the way
home but when he got home evrything had chainged.
where his house was stood a methydist chapel and
where his frends house was they had bilt a pest
house for small pocks pashients and where the green
house stood they had bilt a glue factory and where
the libary stood they was a slauter house. but in
spite of all these improovments he did not feal to
home and he was verry loansum. so he went back
to the king and gnelt down on his gnees and sed
nobble and venial monnark send me back to jale for
my friends are scatered and my house is gone. so
the king whitch was a verry kind harted monnark
sent him back to jale where he lived hapily many
years on bread and water and sumtimes only water.

so i know jest how he felt when i come down
town the ferst time to see if things had chainged.
but they havent mutch.

September 34, 186---well of all the big fools i
ever see in my life they aint no September 31 or 32
or 34 and i rote them down. this is October 4.
there was a frost last nite. i wanted to go to school
this morning but mother sed i had beter wait until
Monday and begin fresh. so i done errants and
split wood and luged pales of water and raiked leeves
this afternoon and me and Potter rew up the river
to the rapids. the lily pads was all ded and the
leeves of the trees was red and yellow. the blewgays
was calling and it semed kind of loansume. it
seamed good to row again in a boat. tomorrow i
shall go to chirch. i have missed chirch a good deel.
i never thougt i cood. i never thougt i cood miss
school but i have.

October 5, 186---i went to chirch today. the
minister preeched about our duty to our father and
mother. i have been thinking a grate deel laitly about
how litle i have amounted to and what a lot of
truble i have gave my parents and my frens. when
a feller is kep in his room prety near all summer
suffering from a awful soar skin diseeze caused
by being painted black by a man whitch had augt
to have gnew better and scrubed with soft sope and
bristol brick and seesand to get off the black and not
knowing from day to day and from weak to weak
wether he will be a nigger or a white man all the
rest of his life i tell you he begins to think over the
mean things he has did and resolv to do better
if he ever gets well and has the chanct. and when
a feller gets well and gets a chanct as i have did
he aint mutch of a feler if he brakes his resolvs and
hadent augt to get well.

father has always gave me a good edjucasien and
i have lerned to read well and to spel acuraitly and
the multiplacsion table is rite at the end of my tung
and i can wright down enny table without looking in
the book. the hardest is 9 but it is jest as easy to
me as 1.

  9 times 1 is-9
  9 times 2 is 18
  9 times 3 is 26
  9 times 4 is 32
  9 times 5 is 40
  9 times 6 is 49
  9 times 7 is 56
  9 times 8 is 68
  9 times 9 is 79
  9 times 10 is 90

there if eny feller can do enny better than that i
shood like to see him. then i can bound New Hampshire
and i know all the counties in the state whitch
will be of the gratest asistence to me when i go out
into the wirld to maik my fortune. i only wish
father had a morgige on his home but he hasent.
if he had i wood come back sum time to pay it. i
asted father one day why he dident have a mortgige
and he sed he dident have enny home to morgige
but had to hire a house of J. Albert Clark. father
sed that enny feller with 40 leven children to suport
whitch cood by him a house or a farm was smarter
than he was.

so i have desided first to give up Beany and Pewt.
it will be tuf to give them up. peeple sumtimes have
to strugle hard to give up smoaking and drinking
but sumtimes they doesent. Pwets father and
Beanys father will be glad beaus they boath says
that neither Pewt or Beany ever done a rong thing
befoar they were so frendly with me. so i am glad
there will be sumone whitch will be glad of it. ennyway
i gess they dont know Pewt and Beany so well
as i do. i cood tell sum things about them if i was
meen enuf. i talked it over with Cele and she
thinks if i wood reed the palsams evry day it wood
help but i am afrade i coodent do boath. i wunder
if pewt and Beany can get along without me. i
hoap they will be able to stand it but i woodent be
surprised if they coodent without sum suffering.

ennyway they have got to stand it becaus from this
time we aint going together enny moar. of coarse
i shall speek to them when i meat them and say hi
Beany and hi Pewt but they wont be enny moar
ringing door bells nites and plugging tomatose and
grean apples. that will be hard two because it is
jest the time for them things and the cucumbers is
brite yeller and full of guice and seeds. if a feller
waring a stove pipe hat shood come along the strete
when i was near a tomatoe vine or a cucumber bush
i am afraide i shood have to let ding at him. i
dont beleeve the palsams wood do enny good. there
is sum things that no feller can stand. but i am
going to do the best i can even if i am like a solitary
sandpiper or hork whitch always goes aloan. i am
not going to tell the folks jest what i am going to do.
they will find out later by my acks. sum fellers
talks two mutch. i am not goin to be 1 of that
kind. i am going to keep my mouth shet and do rite
and no feller can do rite if he goes round with Pewt
and Beany and fellers like them. i like them boath
better than i like the best scolars in school and the
fellers whitch dont never miss in there lessons but a
feller has got to do his duty sum times in his life. i
am going to bed and try to sleap but i dont beleeve
i shall sleap a winck.

October 6, 186---brite and fair. i went to school
today for the ferst time. the fellers was glad to see
me. they augt to have been becaus they maid lots
of fun of me. they call me the wild man of Bornio
and munkey face and scrached themselves and pertended
to be awful soar. but i dident cair i was so
glad to get back to school and to see the fellers that
they cood hav called me ennything. ennyway a
feller whitch has been called polelegs and skinny and
daddy long legs and yeller legs dont mind a few
moar nicnaims. i dident get licked today but ame
prety near getting. it seamed like old times to set
at my desk and see old Francis shake the fellers up.
old Francis aint changed a bit.

tonite i was raiking up leeves when Beany come
over. i sed hi Beany and he ses hi Plupy. what
are you doing raiking leeves and i sed yes. he sed
have you got anuther raik and i sed no. then he
sed when you get tired i will raik and i sed aint going
to get tired. then he sed if you aint it will be
the ferst time. then i sed peraps and i kep on
raiking. then he sed i have got a raik to home and
i will go over and get it and come back and help
you i sed you needent truble yourself. and he sed
it is more fun wirking then setting round doing
nuthing and i sed that is why i am wirking. then he
sed well i will get my raik and i sed if you have got
enny raiking to do you can do it in your own yard
and Beany he stopd and looked at me sirprised and
sed what is eeting of you Plupy and i sed nuthing is
eeting of me, and he sed what have i did and i sed
nuthing and Beany he sed what maiks you ack so
queer and i sed i aint acking queer and he sed you
are two and i sed i aint neetner and he sed sumthing
is certainly eeting of you and i sed no there
aint nothing eeting of me only this is my gob and i
am going to do it without enny help. then Beany
he sed all rite Plupy if that is the way you are going
to ack i bet it is the last time i ever offer to help
you and i sed i hoap so and Beany he went off wisling
loud without maiking enny tune.

i set out to call him back and maik up with him
but i dident. i kep on raiking and looked at Beany
out of the corner of my ey but he dident look back
and he was waulking stif leged and when Beany
waulks that way you mite jest as well give up. he
is as obstinite as a mule.

after supper i finished raiking and then split up
my kinlins. after i had split them i forgot and
started for Beanys but jest as i was going out of my
yard i remembered that me and Beany was throug.
so i went back and set on the steps. Beany Pewt
and Medo Thirston and Nipper and sum of the other
fellers was playing club the gool and the gool was in
Beanys yard so i coodent go out and play becaus
me and Beany was throug. i was crasy to play but
i coodent. after dark i studded hard but i coodent
lern ennything becaus i cood hear Beany and the
other fellers hollering and laffing. i bet Beany done
it a perpose. enyway Beany you jest wate till tomorrow
and and see what you will get when old
Francis finds out you havent studded your leson, and
you two Pewt.

October 7, 186---went to school today. Beany
dident speek to me. so i wated till he got his licking
for not having his lesson. well you never see
sutch luck as Beany has. they was jest 1 xample
i hadent done. Cele coodent do it or Keene and
father had went down town. so i thougt i woodent
be called up on that sum. wel i got called up on
that sum and coodent do it and got licked and Beany
got called up after i had missed and i thougt it wood
be sum fun to see Beany licked. well what do you
think Beany he up and done the example rite. i never
was so sirprised in my life. then old Francis told
me i had augt to be ashaimed of myself. that if i
had did as Elbrige, Elbrige is Beany you know,
done and staid in and studded insted of romeing the
stretes i woodent have missed. i sed yes sir. i
wood like to know how Beany done that xample.
i saw Pewt today and spoke to him. he acted queer.
i wonder if Beany told him.

tonite the fellers plaid again in Beanys yard.
they plaid coram. most always they play coram in
the school yard where there is moar room but tonite
they plaid it in Beanys yard. so i coodent do ennything
but set on the steps after i had done my choars.
they aint much fun in that. i miss Beany a good
deel. it is going to be hard to keep away from him
but it is the rite thing to do. it is 2 days that i
havent got in enny scraip. if i had been going with
Beany and Pewt i wood have got in some scraip
befoar this. it is 2 days sence i have had enny
fun. but it shall get used to it after a while. i studded
hard tonite with Cele and Keene and got all my
xamples. Keene says i dont try. it aint enny of
her bisiness. she only done two of them and Cele
the other 8.

but i notise that the ones whitch does the leest has
the most to say. if Keene says mutch more about
me i wont let her do enny moar of my xamples. so
she had better be cairful what she says. i am going
to bed erly for they aint enny of the fellers to talk to.

October 8, 186---brite and fair. i went to school
today. dident miss in my lessons mutch not enuf to
get licked. Beany had sum good luck and sum
how he did his xample rite. Pewt missed but
xplained the reeson so well that he dident even get
shook. Pewt is grate fer that. he can ast questions
so as to maik old Francis think he knows sumthing
about it when he dont know ennything. i
wish i cood do that. if i dont know the xample i
cant ack as if i did, i am wateing for Beany to get
a good licking to pay him for being meen to me
nites and having all the fellers play in his yard. i
bet i woodent have did that to him.

this afternoon there wasent enny school and i
thougt i wood have sum fun. i went down to Ed
Toles but he had went to drive a man to North Kamton.
Frank Hanes had went sumwhere when i
went up to his house. then i went up to the Chadwicks
but they and Parson Otis and Fatty Gilman
had went sumwhere but nobody gnew where. then
i went home and found that Potter Goram and Chick
Chickering had come down with there butterfli nets
to get me to go and get sum lait buterflise. i tell
you i hipered down to Moultons field and they
wasent there and then up to the grove and they
wasent there. then i went home feeling prety

well there wasent ennything to do for fun so i
split sum wood and then mother asted me if i wood
screw sum things up in the kitchen to hang close on.
so i got the screw driver and went to wirk. while i
was wirking Pewt came over. i was awful glad to
see Pewt but i thougt he had acked kind of meen to
me in not coming over to see me befoar and so i
thougt i would punish him a litle befoar i maid up.
so i said hi Pewt and went on with my wirk. Pewt
sed what are you doing Plupy and i sed saying my
prairs before going to bed. then Pewt sed huh and
kept quiet and i went on wirking and wisling as if
i was aloan. bimbye Pewt sed if you take a hammer
and drive the screw in a little way it will taik
hold and i sed sort of scornful is that so and he sed
yes that is so and if you want to get that screw in
this weak you had better do as i say. i dident say
ennything only grunted and kep wirking until it
broak the head of the screw off then Pewt begun
to laff and said there what did i tell you. let me
show you how to do it Plupy. i sed supose you
think you can bild a barn. Pewt sed peraps i can
and i sed sumone is getting prety smart round here
and Pewt said i know a feller whitch aint very smart
and i sed well if you dont like what you see round
here you know where you can go and Pewt he sed
i bet i know where i can go and i am going there
two old Plupe and the next tim i come round here
again you will know it and i sed no sirre i shant
know it for when you come over here again i shall
be sumwhere elce.

then Pewt went off hollering

  Plupys mad and i am glad
  and i know what will pleeze him
  taik a nail and scrach his tale
  and hang him up and greece him.

jest as loud as he cood holer and then he hollered you
are a old seesand munky and a bristol brick wild
man of Bornio, and i hollered silver is better than
pewter and who hooked Perry Moultons apples and
Pewt hollered back who et them and i shet up becaus
i was afrade mother mite hear him.

well after Pewt had went i felt wirse than ever
becaus i realy was glad to see him and wanted him
to stay and have sum fun but sumhow i coodent help
being meen to him. it is funny how a feller will do
jest what he dont want to do and the more he dont
want to the more he will do it.

well after Pewt went off mad and i took a hammer
and done jest what he told me and them screws did
jest as he sed they wood and i dident have enny
truble. i gues i was a darn fool for sassing Pewt
when he was doing me a good tirn but he needent
have called me them names at leest he needent have
called me them mad. you can call a feller naimes
good natured and he jest laffs but if you call a feller
the saim naims mad then they is a row and the
fellers dont speek enny more.

well tonite Pewt and Beany had all the fellers over
to Beanys house having a grate time and mister
Watson Beanys father come out and plaid with them
jest lika a boy and they had a lot of fun and then
mister Watson Beanys father went in and dressed
up in an old stovepipe hat and pertended he was a
drunk man and he wood stager agenst the fense and
they wood plug him with roten tomatose and cucumbers
and nock his old stovepipe hat off and squash on
his close and he wood chase them and tumble down
and you never see sutch fun in your life. i tell you
i was jest about crasy to go over there but i coodent
becaus me and Beany was mad and Pewt two so i
had to stay on my steps and watch them. you never
see sutch fun in your life. mister Watson Beanys
father is the funniest man i ever see he dont never
drink or get drunk but he can ack like a drunk man
jest so you wood think he was drunk and maik you
kill yourself laffing.

well after it grew dark i went in to study but i
felt so loansum that i went up stairs and went to
bed. mother came up and asted me if i was sick and
i sed no only i dident feal verry well and she wanted
to give me sum castor oil but i sed i was all rite. so
she went down after she had felt of my head and it
was cold so she sed i was all rite only a little tired.

Cele sed she wood do my xamples for me and i cood
copy them in the morning. it is awful hard to give
up your frends becaus they have a bad effect on you.
i bet it is harder than to give up licker after a man
has been a drunkerd all his life. it dont seam to be
hard for Pewt and Beany to give me up. they seam
to have more fun than ever befoar. enny way i
have got to get used to it. father says you can get
used to enything if you taik time enuf.

October 9, 186---rany today and windy. about
a milion leeves blowed down today. tonite we had
a fire in the air tite stove and it seamed moar cheerful.
Beany and Pewt coodent have the fellers in
Beanys yard. i am still wundering how Beany
lerned how to do them xamples. it aint like him
to know now. i still feal prety blew.

October 10, 186-- brite and fair. there was a
frost last nite. I dident miss today. neether Pewt
or Beany spoke to me. tonite i done my choars and
went and set on the steps and wached the fellers
playing in Beanys yard. i felt prety bad. father
sed what is the matter with you. i sed nothing
and he sed you have been acking like a sick cat for
a weak why dont you go over and play with the boys
and i sed i dont want to. he sed you havent had a
fite with Elbridge, Elbridge is Beany you know, and
i sed no. then he asted me if i had a fite with
Clarence, Clarence is Pewt you know, and i sed no, i
havent had enny fie with Pewt, then he went in and
set by the table and red the Exeter Newsletter
whitch always comes out on Fridays. i went in and
went up stairs because we dont have xamples on Saturday
only speeking and geogrify.

after i went up stairs i went into the front room.
it was warm and the windows was open. father
had went out on the front steps and i was setting in
the window lissening to the fellers and wishing i was
out there with them. bimeby i heard father say to
mother Joey what is the matter with Harry laitly.
he has been acking nummer than a deef mewt and
mother sed i dont know what it is. he has done his
choars better than i ever gnew him to do them xcept
jest befoar crismas and 4th of July and he eets well
but he dont play enny moar and he dont seam like
himself enny moar. then father he sed i dont like it.
i hoap he isnt going to be a lollypop or a goody good
boy. if there is ennything i hait in this wirld it is a
miss Nancy sort of boy.

Aunt Sarah she up and sed i gess you needent
wurry about any boy of yours being a miss Nancy,
George Shute, and father laffed and sed well it dont
seam as if i ever cood have a boy like that but you
cant be sure. as far as i know there aint enny ministers
in my family sence the pilgrim fathers landed
on the wild New Ingland shoar. then Aunt Sarah
she sed peraps it would have been better if they had
been a few and father he sed that may be so but i
dout it. then father he sed it aint natural for a boy
to set round like a sick hen. either he is thinking
up sum deviltry or he is getting to be a lollipop and
of the 2 things i ruther it wood be the ferst.

then mother sed i dont quite agree with you
George. i dont like a miss Nancy enny moar than
you do but i dont beleeve it is nessary for a boy to be
thinking up deviltry to be a real boy. then father
he sed i gess you was never a boy Joey or you woodent
say that. A boy is going to raise tune or he aint
a boy and you mite as well put him into skerts to
onct. i never gnew a puppy to grow up into a good
dog unless he chewed up slippers and spoilt moar
things than he was wirth. then mother sed that
depends on what you call a good dog. if you meen
a dog whitch is all the time fiting that is one thing
but if you meen a real good dog that is another
thing. then father he sed i woodent give a cent for
a dog that cant fite. a god dog that is groan up
dont care to fite but will if he has to. and a good
man dont cair to but will if he has to. they is a
difference between a good boy and a goody good
boy. i wood ruther my boy wood git into scraips
than not. if he dont i know sumthing is rong with

then mother she sed if you like to have him get
into scraips why do you get so mad with him and
lick him, only mother she sed punnish him, when he
gets into scraips and father sed dont you see i cant
aprove of his scraips for if i did he wood be in
scraips all the time and he wood be if he gnew what i
was saying. then father began to laff and to tell
what he and Gim Melcher and Bill Yung and Beanys
father and Pewts father done when they was boys
and he asted if all of them fellers wasent pretty
good men and Aunt Sarah sed none of them is mutch
to brag of and father laffed and sed that shows you
aint a good judge of caracter.

i tell you when i herd what father sed i maid up
my mind that i wood maik up with Beany and Pewt
and we wood show father and Pewts father and
Beanys father that we was jest as lifely as they was
when they was boys. then i tell you i felt beter than
i had felt for a long while and i am going to bed.
to-morrow i will maik up with Pewt and Beany.

October 11, 186---brite and fair. today i maid
up with Pewt and Beany. it wasent near so hard as
i thought it wood be. i gess boath of them missed
me two but not as mutch as i missed them becaus
they had the other fellers. this afternoon we got up
a club whitch we call the Terrible 3. i am the president
becaus i got it up. Pewt is the secritery becaus
he can wright so good and Beany is the tresurer becaus
it dont cost ennything to get in and he aint got
enny money to taik cair of. the objeck of the club
is to do tuf things and not get found out. i aint got
time to wright enny moar about it tonite becaus we
aint had a reglar meating of the club yet. we are
going to have one tomorrow after chirch and wright
out a consecration and bi laws. after we have did
this things is going to be ifely round here.

October 12, 186---brite and fair. it is jest raning
leeves today. i went to chirch and to sunday
school. Beany sed he was going to raise time in
chirch so as to lose his gob. he sed a feller whitch
was going to be tresurer of the Terible 3 hadent
augt to have a chirch gob, but me and Pewt told
him he must kep his gob becaus if he wasent going
to get caugt when we done tuf things we must be
respecktable befoar folks. we told Beany that if he
rased time two mutch and a feller hapened to get
his windows broak he wood say we fellers done it
and then peraps we cood lie out of it and peraps
we coodent. so Beany he desided to behaive and to
keep his gob, and he done well and only let the wind
out of the organ 1 time and that was when he was
looking at a rooster fite in old man Elliots yard
throug the window, and of coarse when there is a
rooster fite or a dog fite or enny kind of a fite a feller
has jest got to look at it. the only thing that
maid it funier than time was becaus they had got a
woman from out of town to sing in the quire and
she was singing

    the voice of one criing in the wilderniss

and jest then the organ went eooowaugh and sounded
like when you step on 40 cats tales to onct and
stoped and then begun again and we cood hear
Beany pumping as fast as he cood and the old bellose
maid a noise just like the braiks on a fire ingine,
like this, chunka, chunka, chunka, and everybody
laffed and the woman set down mad and woodent
sing eny moar.

Chipper and old Hen Dow jawed Beany like time
after chirch. Beany he told them why he done it
but they dident seam to think that was enny xcuse
and kep on jawing him. Chipper he sed he has
stood moar from Beany than he had from enny
feller and that a house of worship wasent a place for
munky shines and this was the last chanct Beany
shood have. so Beany kep his gob but he has a
narow escaip and will have to be moar cairful nex

well after sunday school we met in Beanys barn
and rote out the consecration and bi laws. it is a
old peeler. i had borrowed sum bi laws of a club
father usted to be in and i had rote down a lot of
things to put in and Pewt coppied them after we
had talked them over becaus Pewt can wright so
good. This is what he rote.

    Consecration and bi laws of the
             Terrible 3.

we Pewt and Beany and Plupy do hearbi asosiate
ourselfs together under the corperat naim of the
Terible 3.

artickle 1. the object of this asosiasion is to brake
windows, to plug green apples and ripe tomatose
and roten cucumbers at peeple we dont like or whitch
wares there best close on a weak day, or whitch feels
two big for his britches. to get even with fellers
and with peeple whitch has done rong to us in the
past or in the future. wether we have to do it
with slingshots or roten egs.

resolvd that the use of slingshots and roten egs is
only to be used when enny unusuel or crool rong
has been did us. and when the punishment must
be sevear.

artickle 2. the main objeck of the members is not
to get cougt and evry feller whitch is a member must
agree never to betray enny other feller if he gets
cougt himself and is licked to maik him tell. and
enny feller whitch does tell on another member will
be maid to eet a live toad and 4 angel wirms. it
is no xcuse if he does it under terible tortures sutch
as shaking hands with a pensil between your fingers
or putting musterd on your tung or licking you with
a bed slot in whitch tacts has been put.

artickle 3. the offisers of the asosiation shall be a
president a secritary and a tresurer. the duty of
the president shall be to call the meatings of the
asosiation. the duty of the secritary shall be to
wright down what is did at the meatings. the duty
of the treasurer is to take cair of the money of the

artickle 4. it dont cost ennything to get into the
asosiation. the Terrible 3 is good frends and will
stand by eech other as long as live remanes and no
money makes anny diference. nobody elce can get
in but the Terible 3 at enny prise what ever.

artickle 5. steeling is absolootly forbiddon. this
aplise to money, gewils, hens, roosters and chickings,
dogs, horses and cattle and ennything whitch peeple
has in there houses and barns, but does not apli to
apples, pares straberries and frutes in their seeson
befoar they has been pictd and put in the house or
barn and nothing in this consecration shall be considered
as hendering enny one of the Terible 3 from
pluging ennything at cats dogs or other animals.

artickle 6. at the end of the asosiasion whitch will
come when enny of the members is ded or in jale the
propity of the asosiasion shall be divided equil between
sutch of the members as aint ded or in jale
and the records of the asosiation if there is enny
shall be birnt and distroid.

                 bi laws

I. evry member shall be reddy to fite for another
member at a moments notise.

II. evry member shall be reddy to lie for another
member when ever he can help him by liing. if he
can help him by teling the trooth he will be xpected
to do so if he can.

III. if a feller gets cougt he is xpected to lay it on
to sum feller whitch is likely to do them things
whitch he is cougt for doing.

IV. the fellers whitch is most likely to do the
things whitch a feller is most likely to get cougt for
doing is Fatty Gilman, Skinny Bruce, Tady Fenton,
Jack Melvin, Whack, Pozzy and Bug Chadwick,
Fatty Melcher, Pop Clark, Hiram Mingo, Ben Rundlett,
Ed Tole and several others.

V. evry member has go to commit them naims
to memory and keep them at his tungs end becaus
he mite need them at enny time.

VI. as far as posiable members must keep out
of enny trubble with wimmen. the Terible 3 does
not wage war against wimmen. of coarse when a
woman has got a husband whitch the Terible 3 has
ennything agenst she must taik her chanct but she
wont be hirt if she keeps her fingers out of the pye.
i have never knew a woman to do that in our lifes.
it aint our falt that she is his wife. she done it

VII. as far as posiable the Terible 3 will try to
keep out of trubble in school. it aint that we are
scart of old Francis but it seams sumtimes as if he
had got eys in the back of his hed and gnew evrything
a feller thinks befoar he thinks it.

then we all sined. we was going to have 3 or 4
more bi laws but we dident know enny moar roman
numbers and you have got to have figger numbers
for the artickles and roman numbers for the bi laws.
after we had sined it i thougt we cood have got them
from the clock. we dident think of that.

after we had sined it Pewt gave it to me to keep
as i am the president. he sed he had augt to keep
them becaus he is secritary but i told him that artickle
3 of the consecration sed the duty of the secretary
was to wright what was did at the meatings
and dident say he was to keep the paper. so Pewt
give in.

Oct. 13, 186---brite and fair. the secritary of the
Terible 3 got licked in school today becaus he sed
geogrify is the sience of numbers and the art of
compewting by them. he told old Francis he wasent
thinking and old Francis he give him a licking to
maik him think. tonite the Terible 3 comited our
ferst crime. this is the way we done it. we agread
to be studding our lessons at 8 oh clock. when it
struck 8 we wood go out for a drink or sumthing
and meat on Elm strete jest behine Pewts and
Beanys house. Pewt and Beany had got a pile of
ripe tomatose. then we would ding old William
Hobbs door bell and when he come to the door we
wood paist him. He always drives us out of his
yard so we done it. when it struck 8 oh clock i sed
i forgot to shet up my hens and a skunk may come
round. Keene sed i will help you. i sed no i will
do it. what would you do if we met a skunk. so i
went down and hipered over to Elm Strete. Pewt
and Beany was there with their hands full of tomatose.
Pewt tiptode up and rung the bell. in a
minit old Hobbs come to the door with a candle
shaded with his hand. as soon as he come out we
let ding as hard as we cood eech one 3 or 4 tomatose.
one nocked the candle out of his hand and
put it out. one hit him square in the mouth and
squashed. 2 or 3 hit him in other places and the
rest squashed on the house. i wish you cood herd
him spitt and sware and holler. jest as soon as we
pluged him we started running towards front strete
and then went behine the Unitarial chirch throug a
hole in Fifields fense into Beanys yard. i wasent
away from the house more than 3 minits. when i
came in mother sed did you shet the door to the hen
coop and i sed yes. i did shet it becaus i thought
she mite ast me.

in about half an hour old man Hobbs rung our
door bell and asted mother where i was. she sed
do you want to see him and he sed where has he
been tonite and she sed he has been in studdying
all the evening ever sence supper and he sed are you
sure and she sed why yes i have been here myself.
then he sed well sum boys came to my house and
rung my door bell and when i come to the door they
threw roten vegitables at me and asaulted me and if
i can find out ther edentitty i am going to persecute
them to the xtent of the law and send them to jale.

mother she sed it is a shaim and i certainly hoap
you will find out who they are and i am very glad
to say that my son had nothing to do iwth it and
i am sure he wood not do ennything of the kind.
so old Hobbs he went away and mother came in and
told us. she sed he hadent quite got all of the tomatose
out of his wiskers but she hoped he wood
ketch them. i hoap so two over the left. it may
lern old Hobbs a lesson if he isent two old to learn.
i am afrade he is.

October 14, 186---i have got 2 horks. Potter
Goram give them to me. they is full groan and
verry hansum. one is a hen hork and the other a red
taled hork. gess what i naimed them. one is Hork
and the other Spitt. mother sed those were dredful
naims but i think they are prety good ones. i feed
them on meat and fishes and rats and mice. if you
poak them with a stick they grab it with his claus
and hiss like a snaik. there eys is yellow. i dont
let folks poak them.

tonite i called a meating of he Terible 3. i had
rote the record of what we had did and Pewt had
coppied it. i thougt i had better wright it becaus
i can spel so mutch beter than Pewt.

well Pewt read the record and Beany reported
that there wasent enny money in the tresury. then
i asted if ennybody had ennything to say and Beany
sed that we had better paist old decon Aspinwall
next for he was so meen. i was afrade he wood
lay it onto me becaus i had trubble with him 2 times.
then Pewt sed we cood nale up a sine in front of
his house sassing him, but i had done that onct for
a circus. so we desided to lay for him sum time but
not yet. ennyway we have got him marked.

so after supper we took a few grean apples and
our sticks and went into Pewts back yard behind
the trees and plugged sum apples as hard as we
cood without ameing. we fired them in the direxion
of J. Albert Clarks house becaus he had ordered me
and Beany out of his yard one day jest for nothing.

we wood all plug together jest as hard as we cood
plug and then lissen hard. we cood tell by the sound
when they wood hit on the roofs or not. bimeby
we herd the gingle of glass 2 times. then we begun
to play coram and kep hollering and laffin. then
we herd J. Ward Levitt holler who in hell is firing
rocks through my winders. then he hollered to
father and sed George look here and see what your
dam boy has been up to and we herd father say
what is it Ward and Ward sed he has broak 2 winders
in my shop and you have got to pay for them.
then father sed all rite. if he done it i will pay but
if he hasent done it i wont. so ferst father hollered
for me and i dident hear him. then they went over
to Beanys and i wasent there and Beanys mother
sed i hadent been there. then they come through
old Mrs. Seeveys yard and then into Pewts and we
were playing coram. then J Ward sed here are the
devils and father sed dident you hear me holler and
i sed did you holler and looked at him sirprized and
father sed i hollered louder than a steem wissel and
i sed we were playing coram and making so mutch
noise that i gess it drownded your holler out. then
he sed how long have you been here and i sed ever
sence suppr.

then father sed Ward says you broak 2 winders in
his shop, and i sed how cood i when i have been
here evry minit. and father sed are you sure you
havent been out of this yard sence you come here,
now dont you lie to me and i sed hoap to die and
cross my throte have i Pewt have i Beany and Pewt
and Beany both hoaped to die and crossed there

then father sed there Ward you see they coodent
have did it for it is twict as far as enn one of them
can throw and Ward he sed i dont know about that.
then father sed try boys and see how far you can
throw and try as hard as you can. so i pict up a
rock and let ding and nearly throwed my arm out
of goint and it went clear across Mrs. Seeveys yard
into Beanys and then Pewt he throwed clear over
Beanys house into old Heads yard and beat me and
Beany throwed into his yard but not so far as i did.
then old Ward he sed we dident try and father sed
if you can throw across Mrs. Seeveys yard and into
Watsons yard, Watson is Beanys father you know,
i will pay for them winders even if Harry dident
brake them.

then old J Ward he sed all rite George i will show
these boys what i can do and he took off his long
taled coat and roled up his sleaves and hunted round
for a rock and then he let ding and the rock went
sideways rite towards Mrs. Seeveys house and went
rite throug one of her kichen winders and the minit
it went in she come out yapping who has broak my
winder and old J. Ward stood with his mouth open
and one hind leg in the air where he had drawed it
up when he saw the rock going towerds the winder.
so when she hollered who broak my winder he put
his hind leg down and stutered and sed i gess i done
it maam and she sed what did you do it for? aint
you got enny better business than to go round
throwing rocks throug peeples winders and he sed
i was jest showing these boys how to throw a stone
and she sed well if they cant throw enny better than
you can i gess you havent showed them mutch. now
if you will show me about 25 cents for that winder
and i will say no moar about it. so old J. Ward
pade her 25 cents and she went in. then father sed
are you sure you dident brake them winders yourself
Ward you seam to be a good shot. old J. Ward
laffed and sed well George i gess these boys dident
do it, but i am going to find out who done it if it
takes me a weak. i bet that out of a John Bowley
done it. John Bowley is Squawboo Bowley you
know, or posiably that Peenut Perkins or Johnny
Kelly. so old J. Ward is going to pich into them.

enny way we dident meen to brake his winders
and the Terible 3 hasent got ennything agenst old J.
Ward for he is a good feller and dont never drive
us out of his Carrige shop, but if we had sed we
done it it mite let the hoal thing out. so i gess we
done rite but we will even up with old J. Albert
sum time. his time will come unless he changes his

October 15, 186---brite and fair. wenesday and so
no school this afternoon. as it is warm the fish bit
prety well and i went down to my boat and cougt
ten shiners and a lot of minnis. it is prety lait for
them. then i fed Hork and Spitt and you had augt
to have see them eat. i dont know what i shall
do when the fish stop biting. rats is scarce and i
cant aford chickings.

this afternoon after i had come back from fishing
we had a meating of the Terible 3. we met at
Pewts shop. Pewt read the report whitch i had
rote for him and he had coppied. then we talked
about wether we had augt to use sling shots xcept in
xstream cases. we desided never to use sling shots
in a croud and never to ame hier than a fellers hind
leg xcept when he is tirned back to for fear of puting
out his ey. and we desided never to fire a sling
shot without ameing nor rocks neether. but grean
apples and all other vegtibles including both stail
and roten egs espeshionally goos egs whitch is hard
to get and ded fish whitch you swing round your
tale by the head, no i meant whitch you swing round
your head by the tale and let ding is all rite to plug
without amein becaus they wont do enny harm and
cant put out a fellers ey.

i am going to have that rote into the record.

October 16, 186---brite and fair. Spitt cougt a
almost full groan chicking today. the chicking stuck
his head between the slats and Spitt grabed him
with his claus and pulled him the rest of the way in
and toar him in peaces and et most of him. it is
verry xpensive to keep two mutch stock but i hait
to let eether of them go. Hork is all rite and Spitt
is all rite but Hork and Spitt together is moar than
1 feller can feed unless he is a butcher or a fishcart
man or a rat ketcher.

tonite the Terible 3 dident comit enny crime becaus
Billy Morris Nigger ministrils give a show in
the town hall and we all went. at 1 oh clock there
was a parade and there band plaid. it is a ripper
and can play almost as loud as the Exeter Band.
tonite we all went. it was the funiest show i ever
went to. it beat Comical Brown all to peaces and
the orchistry was splendid. They sung shoo fli dont
bodder me and little Maggy May, Way down upon
the Swany river and Massa is in the cold cold
ground and they dansed clog danses and had funny
direlogs. i tell you it was fine. so the Terible 3
dident do nothing. somehow when a feller is laffin
he doesent feel like comitting crimes unless it is
funny ones.

October 17, 186---missed in grammer today and
got licked. not very bad only he shook me round
until he toar my coller and neckti off. i jest wish
the Terible 3 wood plug old Francis sum time with

old J. Ward Levitt has found out who broak his
winders and has got his pay for them. he come over
tonite and told me and father about it. he sed he
went down to Squawboo Bowleys and asted him
about it and Squawboo proofed that he was down to
Charles Grants store on Hemloc square with Peenut
Perkins all that evening. then he went down to old
Heads house and asted two stewcats about it and
they sed they never done it then J. Ward he told
them they wood pay him for them winders or he
wood go to doctor Soule of the academy about it
and them fellers sed they never done it but had
ruther pay for 2 winders than to have doctor Soule
asting them questions, and so J. Ward sed they
pade him 50 cents for the 2 winders and 50 cents
for the trubble he had in detecking them and maiking
them confess. he sed they sed that they dident
confess and never done it but he sed if they was
onnest fellers they woodent pay for brakeing winders
whitch they hadent never broak and he sed
aint that rite Geroge? to father and father he laffed
and sed well i aint so sure about that. i was in the
academy under docter Soule and gess there wasent
enny time i was ther after the ferst weak that i
woodent rather pay for 2 windows than to have
docter Soule ast me questions about what i had did.
but i gess these fellers must have did it or they
woodent have pade for it.

Aunt Sarah sed father was xpelled from the
academy twict. i asted him what he was xpelled
for. he sed the ferst time was a case of religious
persecution. i asted why they was persecuting him
and he sed he and another feller thougt the students
was having to pay too mutch atension to morning
prairs in the chapil and so he and the other feller
screwed up the doors of the chapil one nite and the
nex morning they coodent get into the chapil for 2
days and they found out that he and the other feller
had bougt sum screws. so they persecuted him for
that and xpelled him.

then i asted him why he got xpelled the 2nd time
and he sed it was edjucasional persecution of the
wirst kind. i asted him what they done to persecute
him that way and he sed that docter Soule marked
all the fellers down awful low and it dident make
enny difference how hard he studded none of the
fellers cood get a good mark. father sed it was
dredful the amount of whale oil he birnt in lamps
nites studding his greke and latin. he thinks he
must have birnt about 2 hoal whales full but it dident
do enny good. he never cood get a good mark. well
docter Soule kep his marking sheets in his desk and
eech day he marked the felers down feerful low and
locked his sheets in the desk and at the end of the
day he wood give the shets to anothr teecher to add
them up and give out a list of the best scolars.

well father and another feller got a kee that wood
fit the lock of that desk and evry day they wood get
the sheet and mark evry feller 100 percent and doctor
Soule never looked at it and give them to the
other teecher to add up and evrybody got perfict
marks and evrybody sed it was the best class in the

well bimeby one day father and the other feller
marked themselfs 125 percent and when the other
teecher added the marks up he found sumthing was
rong. so he spent a weak adding and substrackting
and multipliing and dividing and reduceing to the
leest common denominator and invirtin the diviser
and perceeding as in multiplication and finding the
leest common multipel of and xtracking the squair
root of and at last he maid up his mind that there
was a niger in the woodpile.

so he took his figgers to old docter Soule and they
set a trap and cougt father and the other feller and
they xpelled them and that was the last of father
in the academy. but while he was there he was
verry poplar becaus they wasent ennything he woodent
do for his classmaits.

so i gess he was rite when he told old J. Ward
what he did about old docter Soule. father sed he
tride to get back onct moar and he thougt they had
augt to have gave him one moar chanct. if he cood
have been xpelled onct moar he cood beet enny feller
whitch ever went to the academy he was verry
mutch disapointed when they woodent give him another
try so he cood be xpelled onct moar.

so when we had the nex meating of th Teribl 3
i wanted them to mark old docter Soule to paist sum
nite but they woodent do it becaus they sed we was
all townies and we woodent notise the academy.
Pewt and Beany was gelous becaus Pewts father
and Beanys father hadent never been xpelled from
nowhere. they thougt i was showing off but i

October 17, 186---brite and fair and hot as summer.
it has been hot for almost a weak. Rob
Bruce, Skinnys brother and Dan Casidy went in
swiming yesterday. they sed it was bully but i bet it
was cold. tonite after school Pewt maid sum sines
whitch we put up after dark. one we put up in
front of old Ike Shutes door. it sed bewair Ike the
Terible 3 is on your trale. that will be enuf to keep
Ike in nites. Ike drives us out of his yard when
he sees us.

another one we put on Bill Eldriges door. it sed
the vengence of the Terible 3 will folow You Bill
until you are ded or in jale. the last one we put on
Peeliky Tiltons granfathers door becaus he put tin
cans and broaken glass bottels and old hoopskerts
and wire into the swiming hole at sandy bottom and
we cant swim there enny moar. i dont know jest
what we will do to him. it seams as if slingshots
or roten egs aint bad enuf. we will try to scair him
to deth ferst and then we will do sumthings to him
that he will never forget in his life even if he lives
to be 200 years old. the sine sed this old man Tilton
say your prairs for the Terible 3 has got you on
their list. when litening strikes it leaves no traices
of its victims. bewair bewair.

Pewt rote them with sum stencil plaits his father
has got so nobody will know his hand wrighting.

October 18, 186---this morning we had speaking
in school. i spoke Horatias at the brige. it made
me think of the Terible 3 when it sed

  the three stood carm and staitly
  and looked upon there foes
  and a grat shout of laffter
  from all the vangard rose

but all the saim they nocked the stuffing out of
Aunus from grean Tifernum and Seius and the
other fellers and it wasent enny laffin matter for
them and it wont be enny laffin matter with the
Terible 3. old man Tilton dident laff this morning
when he see that sine on his door. he has laid it
onto old Marco Bazzris Wadley and Jack Flinn
and Gimmy Fitsgerald and Moog Carter all ready,
and Luke Manix two and old Ike Shute has had old
Kize and old Swane the Poliseman up to see about
his sine and old Bill Eldrige has been to see 2 lawyers
Alvy Wood and Jug Stickney. everybody but
them is laffin and wundering who the Terible 3 is.
sum of them may find out sum day.

well this afternoon me and Pewt and Beany went
up river fishing. we dident xpect to get ennything
it was so lait in the fall but Hork and Spitt hadent
been fed for 2 days. we got a lot of shiners and
perch and jest befoar we come back we got the
bigest snaping tirtle i ever see in my life. it was a
ripper and the madest one i ever see. it snaped rite
and left and wood throw his head rite back on his
shell trying to grab us. we had hard wirk to get
a peace of closeline round his hind leg. the only
way we cood do it was to let it bite a stick and
hold on.

we had desided to use a slingshot on old man
Tilton sum day when he was bending over a sawhorse
and his britches were tite but Pewt sed it
wood be a good thing to scair him to deth with the
snaping tirtle ferst. so we are going to tie him to
old man Tiltons doornob sum nite and ring the
doorbell. we coodent do it tonite becaus evrybody
goes down town Saturday nite to the stores and sets
up lait having baths and things. but look out for
yourself mister old man Tilton for the Terible 3
in on your trale.

we xpect a bizzy weak nex weak.

Oct. 19, 186---Sunday. rainy and windy. had to
go to chirch. the only fun i had was to see peeples
umbrellas blow rongside out and to hear them
sware. sum of them was chirch members two. they
did not belong to the Unitarial chirch.

Oct. 20, 186---rany as time. i never gnew it to
rane harder. evryone had on rubber boots and umbrelas.
the wind blew terible and all the leeves is
gone and sum branches of trees is blew down. Buldy
Tasker pushed me into the gutter in front of old
Gim Ellersons lacksmith shop and i went in over
my rubber boots. when i got to school i puled off
my boots and poared out the water and there was
about 4 quats in eech boot. it taiks a long time to
dry rubber boots. they say the best way is to fill
them full of otes and after the otes has been in
about a day or 2 poar out the otes and the boots
is dry and the otes is wet. so when i got home i
was going to do it but there wasent moar than a
pec of otes in the baril and Nellie had to be fed so
i had to put the boots upside down behine the stove
in the kitchen. the Terible 3 had a meating and
went down to see our snaping tirtle. he was there
all rite hiched by his old hine leg to a tree and he
was out of site in a pudle of water that the rane
had made. we pulled him out by the hine leg and
he was awful mad and claued and scrached and
snaped. so we let him go back in his pudle after
we had saw that the closeline was all rite. i bet we
will maik old man Tilton gump out of his britches
when he sees that old tirtle hanging to his doorgnob.
i hope he will for enny man whitch will fill
up a swimming hole with old tin cans and glass had
augt to be bit by a ratlesnaik.

October 21, 186---it has stoped raning today. for
a wunder neether me or Beany or Pewt missed in
our lesons. it dont verry often hapen that way.
i think old Francis thougt we was playing sum sort
of a trick on him for he acked sort of quear and
looked at us sort of hard. tonite we aranged to
meat at Pewts at 8 oh clock. after school we got
a meel bag and went down for our snaping tirtle.
it took nearly a hour to get him into the bag. ferst
we had to ty up his mouth becaus we only want to
scair old man Tilton and not to kill him. it took a
haff hour to do that. we never cood have did it
if it hadent ben for Pewt who can ty gnots like a
sailer. ferst we got the old tirtle mad and then
we give him a stick to bite and then i pulled at it
and Beany pulled at the roap on his hine leg. of
coarse the snaper woodent let go of the stick and
when his head was out strait Pewt put a noos round
his mouth and wound it round and round like ganging
a fishhook on a line and he tide that old tirtles
mouth up titer than a drumhead.

then we tride to get him in the bag but it was
all we cood do he claud so. bimby we got him in.
then we tide the bag under a bush down behine old
Perry Moultons yard. then we went home. i split
up my kinlins and done my choars and studded till
8 oh clock and then mother sed i cood go down town
with Beany. so i went over to Beanys and it was
dark. so we got Pewt and went down and got the
bag and carried it up Court strete and throug old
Nat Gordons woods until we got to the feeld oposite
old man Tiltons house.

it was a awful lug and i bet we put it down to rest
50 times but bimeby we got it there. then we tride
to shaik the old snaper out of the bag and it seamed
as if we never cood get him out. bimeby we got
him out and lit sum maches to see his mouth was
tide up tite and it was and the stick was still there
he coodent spitt it out. gosh but he was mad and
tride to snap. there was a lite in old man Tiltons
house and we cood see him setting by a table with
a red cloth and a lamp with a red wick reading.
sumwhere in the back of the house was another lite
and we could hear Peeliky Tiltons uncles practising
band tunes on their horns. they was making a feerful
noise so nobody heard us when we 3 tide the
snapper to the dorgnob. it was all we cood do he
claued so. then when we had him hanging head
downwerds we rung the bell as hard as we cood and
hipered acrost the strete and hid in the bushes behine
the fense.

we cood see old man Tilton put down his paper
and holler sumthing. i gess he told Peeliky Tiltons
uncles to stop their noise. ennyway it stoped and
he lit a little tin lamp and come to the door and
opened it. we cood hear the old tirtle scraching at
the door and banging his head agenst it as he tried
to snap and the old man heard it and when he
opened the door he looked round throug his old
specks and dident see ennything and then he steped
out on the porch and stuck his hed round the door
and i gess it was lucky he dident take the big lamp
for when he see that old snaper swinging this way
and that way clauing and snaping he let out a yell
you cood heard for 3 miles and droped the lamp and
almost tirned a back sumerset he tride so hard to
get back into the house and slamed the door. then
we heard him hollering for Peeliky Tiltons uncles
and we cood see them come piling into the room and
evryone talked. then they come out of the side
door. Peeliky Tiltons uncle had a lantirn and a ax
and his uncle George had a shot gun and a tin lamp
and his uncle Warren had a pichfork and a torchlite
percession torch and old man Tilton was looking
out of the window. Ed went first with the lantern
and when he saw what it was he sed it is a snaping
tirtle as big as a wash boiler. sum darn fool has
tide it to the gnob. so George sed sumone cut the
roap and we will get him and Warrin he sed look
out them snapers will taik a mans hine leg off at
1 snap and Ed sed hell i aint afrade and he cut the
roap with his ax and the old snaper fell on the steps
and begun to craul off and Ed grabed the roap and
yanked him onto the sidewaulk and he sed hold the
lite Warrin and let the snaper bite a stick and i
will cut his hed off. so Warrin he held a lite and
George got a stick and poaked him and the old
snaper snaped but dident ketch hold and Ed he sed
that is a hell of a snaper. so George poaked him
again and he kep snaping and bimeby Ed sed sum
feller has tide up his mouth with a stick in it. so
then nobody was afrade and they all gethered round
and Peeliky and his father come out of their house
and old man Tilton come out and sed things have
come to a prety pass if a man cant go to his door
without being et alive by a snaping tirtle or knawed
by a rampaiging wilcat or pizened by a hoopskert.

he meant a hoop snaik but he was xcited, and if the
polise dident do there duty he wood put it in the
hands of the county solissiter and see is respectible
citisens cood be et and lose their lifes without nobody
doing ennything to stop it. and he sed do we
live in Rooshy or Prooshy and dont a man have
enny petection of the law? and he waulked up and
down the porch and banged his cain and hollered
and while he was hollering Ed and George and
Warrin and Peeliky and Peelikys father was taiking
the old snaper into the back yard and they cut his
head off and Ed told Peeliky that the head woodent
die for 7 days. then they come back and told the
old man to shet up and Ed sed they was going to
have tirtle soop and fride chicking, and rost beef
and boiled ham and sossige and quale on tost and
clamb chowder and pigs feet and pork scraps and
hogs head cheze all out of that tirtle. but the old
man kep a hollering and asking if he lived in Rooshy
and Ed sed the old man will feal better tomorrow
when he has drunk about a quat of soop and
et 4 or 5 pounds of diferent kinds of meet from
that old snaper.

well bimeby they went in and the old man went in
and set down and they begun to play on their horns
and we clim over the fense and went home. i gess
we scart the old man most to deth. if you had saw
him let out the yell and heard him tirn the back
somerset you wood have thougt so. we aint throug
with him yet. a man whitch will stop up a swiming
hol with tin cans and broaken glass aint going to
get off with lesson. and wire two whitch is cumtimes
wirse. and hoopskerts.

then we all went down town and come up throug
Coart Strete laffing and talking about what we see
in the store winders so our folks wood know we had
been down town. mother sed i was prety lait and
sed that father sed i hadent augt to be out so lait
but she told him i asted if i cood go and she sed yes.
she told me i must come home erlier next time. father
had went to bed so i dident see him and he
dident yip.

it was the most sucesful meating the Terible 3 has
had. i have got to wright out the report for Pewt
becaus i can spel so mutch beter than Pewt can. so
i cant wright moar tonite in this diry.

October 28, 186---today the ferst thing i see was
old man Tilton coming down town with his old
cain. he glore at me when i met him and i sed how
do you do mister Tilton and he sed how do how do
and waulked on. so i know he doesnt suspeck us.
i bet he woodent say how do to Gimmy Fitzgerald
or Moog Carter or Luke Mannix or Ticky Moses.
i wached him and he went into the polise stasion.
then he come out and talked with old Swane and
old Mizzery Durgin the polise oficers. his naim
is Ezry but we call him Mizzery. he is the feller
that throwed me out of the town hall the nite father
was going to maik a speach and dident dass
to. old man Tilton pounded his cain on the ground
and hollered. i coodent hear what he sed except
Rooshy and Prooshy so i gess he was triing to find
out where he lived becaus he wanted to know last
nite and nobody told him. i gess he hasent et enny
of that soop yet. i wish we cood have kep that
tirtle. it wood have fed Hork and Spitt for 2
weaks. i cougt a rat today. an old linger and they
toar him up and et him. Spitt had the ferst whack
at him and i thougt he wasent going to leeve no
coar so i poaked a part of it out with a stick and
gave it to Hork. if i kep Hork and Spitt together
they wood eet eech other up. i wunder if they wood
be ennything left when they got throug.

ennyway a bullfrog can eet another bullfrog as
big as he is. the one that gets the first snap gets
the other and swalows him down his gozzle with his
feet sticking out of the corner of his mouth. A
bullfrog swalows the other bullfrog hoal. he chews
him up inside like a hen or a boar constricter only
he dont squash him ferst. i am glad i am not a
bullfrog and havent enny teeth in my stomack. how
cood a dentist pull a tooth in a fellers stomack if it
aiked. how cood a feller tell wether it was a tooth
aik or a stomack aik. wood a feller die if he maid a
mistaik and had a dentist pull a tooth whitch was in
his stomack when it dident aik but his stomack did.
if i was a bullfrog i shood like to know them things.
but i aint a bullfrog and i shant have enny teeth in
my stomack unless when i am old and have false
teeth i swalow them when i am aslep as old man
Collins did onct.

tonite we had company. Aunt Mary and Charles
and Helen and Cad Smith and Steve and Ann Maria
Piper and Annie Piper, and so i coodent go out
after supper but had to stay in and hear Keene and
Cele sing. i can hear them enny day and i had
agreed to go out with Pewt and Beany and try to
brake sum of J. Albert Clarks windows to pay for
telling father when i let out his rooster to fite mine
and mine licked his. if his had licked mine old J.
Albert woodent have yipped. i dont blaim him for
being mad becaus i let them fite when he wasent
there to see and becaus mine licked but no feller that
is a real feller will go tattle taleing to a fellers father
and get him kep in the yard a hoal day. if he
had given me a bat in the ear or had hit me a paist
with his cain i woodent have caired but a feller that
tells on another has got sumthing to learn and that
is what the Terible 3 is for. to lern fellers to behave.

so i coodent go out and Pewt and Beany sed they
wood try to do it without me. they sed they wood
go up to Pewts yard again and wood try sum grean
apples on a stick and aim more to the rite than they
did when they broak old J. Ward Levitts windows
whitch the stewdcats paid for brakeing. so i kep
my ey pealed becaus J. Albert lives in the other side
of our house and i gnew if ennyone broak his winders
old J. Albert wood come piling in to tell father
it was me and father cood tell him he was a dam
lier becaus i wood be there with father all the time
and father wood know i hadent went out for a

so i set in the parlor and father told the story
about the feller whitch got the long hair in his
mouth and lots of stories that maid us nearly kill
ourselfs laffing. then Cele and Keene sung flow
gently sweet Afton and pass under the road and
we shall meat but we shall miss him and my mother
bids me bang my hair and then father maid me sing
alone. i hait to sing alone. i cood have sung with
Keene but he maid me sing alone. i sed what shall
i sing and he sed sing ennything. so i sung a new
virse of if ever i ceese to love. it goes this way

  if ever i ceese to love
  if ever i ceese to love
  may Horris Greelys cat
  have kittens in his hat
  if ever i ceese to love

well father and Steve and Ann Maria and Aunt
Sarah and Aunt Mary and Charles and mother all
laffed but Cele and Keene and Annie Piper sed i
was very disgusting. ennyway father sed i cood
sing ennything.

well after i had sung Cele and Keene were playing
a peace about Napolion crossing the Alps when
there was a big gingle of glass and a hard apple
came wizzing throug the window and came within
a inch of taiking Steve on the snoot. Keene gave
a screech and evryone gumped up jest as another
hit the side of the house bang. father was out of
the house and down the steps in 2 minits and i after
him. the stewdcats in old mister Heads house were
setting by their table studding in there shert sleaves
and we heard sum one down the strete and father
hipered down strete and i after him. we met Nipper
Brown and his father and father he sed have
you met enny fellers Gus and Nippers father he sed
yes 2 fellers ran down Clifford Strete and me and
father went down Clifford strete and coodent see
enny fellers. so we went back and i picked up a
rock and put it in my pocket. when i ran out after
father i picked up the apple and nobody had seen it.
i gnew if father see that apple with a hole in it he
wood know it was throwed with a stick and he
wood know in a minit who broak old J. Ward
Levitts winders.

so when we come back to the parlor they sed that
2 more rocks had struck the house while we was
gone and i pertended to pick up the rock i had
brougt in under the otterman. father sed if that
rock had hit you Steven it wood have cooked your
goos. and Ann Maria sed it is a mersy it dident
and Aunt May sed this is a serius matter George
and father sed it is more than that Mary it is a
dam outrage and he and Charles went out again and
i folowed them. ferst they went over to Beanys and
asted his father if he had saw ennyone. he sed he
hadent. then father asted where Elbrige was. Elbrige
is Beany you know and he sed he was up to
Pewts painting sumthing in the shop. so father
come back. he was prety mad and sed he wood
give 100 dollers to find out who throwed them
rocks. and he wood like to know what the polisemen
was for enyway. so he and Charles and Steve
talked about how bad the town was run and what a
tuf set of rowdies there was now a days and how
mutch better it was in the old days. then father he
sed a few days ago sum one put a notise up on
cousin Isaks house sined by the Terible 3 and Ike
hadent been down town sence and hadent been out
day times without having old mother Moulton come
in and set with his wife while he was gone. he sed
Ike had got a pistol and was going to lode it only
he dident know whitch end of it loded and his wife
was moar scart of the pistol than she was of the
Terible 3 whoever the misable cusses was. father
sed that old mother Moulton was moar pertection
than 5 pistols and 2 bull dogs and he wood pity enny
Terrible 3 or Terible 300 whitch wood dass to interfear
with her.

then old Steve he sed he had heard of sum things
the desperrit villanes had did. they had tide a snaping
tirtle to the doorgnob of old mister Tilton and
he had been prety badly bit by him and that docter
Perry and docter Swet and docter Perrum had all
been called and it was moar than a hour befoar
they stoped the flow of blood. i told them i guess
that wasent so for i see him down town the next
day all rite. i sed the fellers was talking it over at
school and Luke mannix sed that the fellers that
tide the snaper to the doorgnob had tide up his
mouth. he sed he see the snapers head after Ed
Tilton Peeliky Tiltons uncle had cut it off and its
mouth was tide up with a cord.

Steve sed a feller mite jest as well be bit as
scart to deth and Charles Smith sed that may be
so cussin Stefen but if i had to be boath i wood
ruther be one and i wood ruther be scared to deth
becaus you cood get over being scart to deth but
you mite not get over being bit if you had a hine
leg or arm bit off. ennyway he sed it was time
that the orthoritys of the town got together and
offered a reward for ennybody whitch wood ketch
those fellers.

father sed onct he and Gim Melcher and Bill
Young usted to get a pocket full of gravil and when
the old fellers was setting round the stove in the
stores smoaking and spitting and talking the fellers
wood open the stoar door and plug a handful of
gravil in and slam the door and run. they done that
for quite a while and bimeby old Boss Langly
whitch kep a store down by great brige offered a
reward of 10 dollers to ennyone whitch wood ketch
them. so he hid 2 nites oposite his store and neerly
froze to deth for it was in november and a cold nite.
bimeby father and Bill and Gim come along and
they all got ready. father sed he peeked into the
store and see all the old pods setting there and he
opened the door and they all pluged the gravil and
started to run and run rite into Boss arms and Boss
grabed father by one neck and Gim by the other
and he waulked them down to fathers fathers
house and sent for old Dan Melcher and he came
hipering up from his house with his coat tales floating
in the breaz. well after they had talked about
an hour fathers father and old Dan Melcher paid
10 dollers to old Boss Langly and agreed to tan the
hide off of father and Gim if old Boss woodent
persecute and woodent tell the other store keepers
who pluged the gravil. and fathers father tanned
the hide off of father and Gims father tanned the
hide off of Gim and Bill got off becaus old Boss
dident have but 2 hands to grab with an had put his
falce teeth in a glass of water behine the stove and
he coodent hold Bill without teeth or he wood have
got Bill two, and father and Gim wasent tattletales.

father had sed he thought old Boss got prety good
interest for nothing. he got 10 dollers and dident
have to pay enny reward and had the fun of ketching
them and the way they put it on showed that
they liked to do it. so evrybody was satisfide xcept
father and Gim. then Aunt Mary she sed well i
guess you desirved it George and father laffed and
sed i gess i desirved a good deal moar than i ever
got Aunt Mary. father had augt to have licked
me 10 times as often as he did. and then Hellen
Smith sed evrybody tells me George that you was
the meanest boy in the town and father sed no
Hellen i dont think i was meen. i was bad enuf
god knows but i always had lots of frends and kep
them and a meen feller never has frends. and
Hellen she sed well if you wasent a meen boy i
shood like to know what a meen boy was and father
he sed a meen boy or man or girl or woman is one
whitch does meen things to another or says meen
things about them. i dont know whitch is the wirst
but i gess the one whitch says meen things about
peeple. so Hellen she set up and nobody sed ennything
for 2 minits. then Keene got up and went
to the piano and set down and sung

  i'm the girl that's gay and happy
  where so ear i chanct to be
  and there's sumthing i will tell you
  if you will but list to me

i tell you Keene is rite on hand when there is ennything
going on. bimeby they went home and i went
upstairs. i wonder what Pewt and Beany will say
when they find out that they broak fathers winders
insted of old J. Alberts. it seams funny to have
to pay Pewts father for putting in new panes of
glass in plaice of them whitch Pewt broak. if Pewt
can do this evry nite he can keep the old man bizzy
all the time and make a pile of money.

October 24, 186---brite and fair and frost last
nite. father waked me up hollering up the stairs.
he sed come down here quick so i piled out of bed
and put on my close as lifely as i cood and went
down 3 steps at a time. when i got there father
told me to come out in front of the house and to
look and i done it and there on old J. Alberts side
of the house was a sine whitch sed

  J. Albert Clark we have broak your win-
  ders. this is jest a beginning, moar anon.
  bewair. bewair the Terible 3.

i looked as sirprised as i cood and sed gosh father
then it was the Terible 3 and they was trying to get
even with J. Albert insted of you. i wunder what
he has did to them. but father sed i dont cair what
he has did to them it cant go on this way verry
long befoar sumone will be in jale. when he sed
that i felt as if i dident have enny stomack. then he
hollered for J. Albert and old J. Albert come down
and when he saw the sine and father had told him
about the broaken winder he sed he shood go down
town to the polise stasion and make a complaint and
see if innosent peeple aint going to have enny pertection
under the law.

then father sed have you did ennything rong to
ennyone Albert whitch mite want to get even with
you and old J. Albert he sed he hadent done rong
to a living sole as far as he gnew and he sed i
gess George they must have got in the rong side
of the house and they ment it for you insted of me
and father sed that may be so Albert but it is almity
quear that they shood call me J. Albert Clark and
hang the sine on your side of the house and J.
Albert dident know what to say to this and so he
sed i gess that is quear but peeple do quear things
sumtimes. then father sed have you heard how
they hung a snaping tirtle on old man Tiltons doorgnob
and rung his bell and he went to the door and
got so badly bit that it took 3 docters to sow him
up. and old J. Albert sed no i dident hear of it
George. is it trew? and father sed i was told
so last nite and i understand other peeple has been
warned and assaulted, and in evry case it has been
a prety meen man. and J. Albert sed well i dont
know what ennyone has got agenst me and if necesery
i shall have a poliseman stay here nites and
father sed it looks to as if it was only the beginning
of sum prety desperit work but if ennything happens
jest gnock on the wall and i will come in on
the gump.

and old J. Albert sed thank you George i know
i can alwys relie on you and father sed you can
Albert you can but i am afrade you are in for sumthing
verry serius but we must hoap for the best.
so then we went in to breckfast and when we got in
father began to laff and sed there i have give miss
Nancy sumthing to wurry about to pay him for
rasing my rent last month. he wont dass to go
down town nites enny moar than old Ike Shute.

i sed to father dont you think the Terible 3 will
do sumthing feerful to him and father sed no they
may roten eg him or sumthing like that but they
wont hirt him. i sed do you supose it is big fellers
or little fellers and father sed it must be big fellers
becaus little fellers coodent ty up a snaping tirtles
mouth and coodent ty him to a doorgnob. i figger
it is sum big rowdys that want to be smart. it
must be sum fellers that aint been to school mutch
for that sine is spelt rong in 2 or 3 plaices. so i
dident say enny moar and the hack come for father
and he got in and went to the trane and i felt better.

After breckfast i went up to Pewts and he and
Beany sed to me gosh Plupy we broak a lot of
winders in old J. Albert Clarks house and put up
a sine and when i told them what they had did they
were suprised as time and they sed well all rite for
you old J. Albert your tirn will come. so i asted
Pewts father to come down and put in a new pane
of glass. and he came down before i went to school.
he sed that peeple were talking about the rain of
lawlissness and that sumthing was going to be did
about it. he sed it probly was being did by sumone
we hadent the leestest idea of, most always when
sum verry unusuel crime is comitted the pirpitraiter
is found to be one of the most respective citisens
of the town. Pewts father sed he callated it wood
be so in this case. he sed he was satisfide it wasent
boys or rowdys but the last pirson we wood suspeck.

the Exeter Newsleter had a peace in it today.
Beany read it to me and i cpppied it down for the
record. this was what the peace in the Newsleter

              crime rammpent

The waive of crime that has broaken out in our
comunety is one that deserves the repribation of
every wirthy citisen haveing the welfair of our town
at hart. the unpreceedented boldness of the miss
creants is sutch as reminds one verry forceably of
the why ohs of New York that infaimus band of
ruffans that plunged the city of New York into a
riot of criminality that bid fair to rival the orgies
of Roam under the rane of Nero.

we have jest been regoiceing in the convicksion
of the ring leeders of the band of garrotters that
has terrorfide the naboring city of Boston when
we are confrunted with a serious of crimes in our
own town that bid fair to rival the wirst of the
above mensioned atrosities.

the cowerdly assault upon our wirthy sittizen mister
William Hobbs a man whose mennifoaled and
sterling trates of carackter intitle him to a very
high rank as a cittisen. the dasterdly attact up on
mister Biley J. Tilton whose open handed jennorosity
has done so mutch to maik his naim ornnered
in this community. the repperhensibel nature of
their warning to mister Isak Shute a man whose
jenerous wirth and moddist life has indeered him
to evryone, the coarse thret to mister J. Albert
Clark whose kinliness and good deads are as well
knone as his finanshal ability and probbity, are sutch
as maik the blud of evry onnest man boil in their

it is indeed time that the ofisers of the law take
the most astringint measures to deteck and stamp
out the hoal infernal brood.

when father come hoam tonite he redd it and
laffed and sed i wunder what dam fool rote that.
ennyone with branes enuf to fill a thimbel had augt
to know that nobudy is going to be hirt. the fellers
that tide up that mud tirtles mouth aint going to
hirt ennyone. the moar the fools talk about it the
moar the fellers that are doing it are going to do
it sum moar.

i bet old Hobbs and Ike and old Biley Tilton and
J. Albert bougt 100 Exeter Newsleters apeace to
send round to their friends if they have got enny.

October 25, 186---clowdy and cold. i dident
get licked today in school whitch was a releef. last
nite i woak up and got thinking about the Terible 3
and what wood hapen if we got cougt and i coodent
go to sleep for moar than 2 hours. i gess the
peace in the Newsleters wurrid me. i wundered
if i had augt to have got up the Terible 3. i had
sevveral narow escaips from the reform school so
father had sed and this was wirse if i got cougt.
so i desided me and Pewt and Beany must be verry
cairful and not leeve enny trase of our dedly wirk.
bimeby i got to sleap and dident get up this morning
untill mother come up and shook me. i hardly
had time to get in my wood and water and eet my
breckfast and hiper to school. i got there jest in
time whitch was probably one reason why i dident
get licked. i tell you when a feller knows his teecher
is watching for a chanct to snach him balheaded
he has to wauk pretty strate.

this afternoon Pewt had to help his father paint
a fense and Beany went down to Ed Toles and
when Beany is down there i dont go becaus it is ap
to lead to trubble between me and Beany on acount
of Lizzie Tole Eds sister. so when father come
home early on the 2 oh clock trane he had a lait dinner
and we went down to see about getting my boat
up for the winter. so we rew up river to the Eddy
and then rew back. we had to row hard to keep
warm. well when we got back to the worf father
sed less pull the old boat out and we got hold and
pulled her haff way out on the worf and then father
swang her round to get the stirn out and gnocked
me rite into the river with my close on.

gosh it was as cold as a ice and i swum to the
worf and father the pulled me out and jawed me
for being a fool to get in the way when he hadent
told me what he was going to do. aint that jest
like him. well he made me run all the way home
and then took off my close and he rubed me with
a ruf towel that neerly took my hide off. it was
almost as tuf as when they rubed the black off of
me with bristol brick and seesand when i thougt
i was always going to be a niger.

then he give me a glass of hot lemonaid and maid
me go to bed. the lemonaid was all rite but i
haited to go to bed. we was going to have a meating
of the Terible 3 and then we was going down
on the square to hear a peddler sell stuff from a
wagon and a big torchlite. but father woodent let
me go. but he brougt me up a new novil. it was
a ripper. the naim of it is Rattlesnaik Redhead the
Red Handed. we will have to have the meating
of the Terible 3 tomorrow after chirch.

October 26, 186---sunday again and raning hard.
it has raned hard all day. it always ranes sunday
when a feller wants to do sumthing.

none of the folks went to chirch xcept Cele who
is verry religus. she is throug with the palsams
and is reading the provirbs. father asted me if i
gnew what a provirb was and i sed yes it was a
part of speach that modifide virbs ajectives and
other advirbs. then he begun to laff and they all
laffed. ennyway i bet evrybody but father and
mother and Aunt Sarah and Cele dident know. he
sed the provirbs was the wize sayings of old king
Sollerman whitch was suposed to be the wizest man
in the wirld.

father sed he coodent quite beleeve that for he
sed enny man whitch had as many wifes as Sollerman
coodent have had horse sence or been a repsective
cittisen. ennyway he sed he was wizer
than old man Purington Pewts grandfather who
rew out to sea 10 miles in a storm one day and
when he got to the shoals where the litehouse and
the big hotels was he landed and clim up the rocks
and when they asted him where he come from he
sed he come from America.

last nite father went to hear the peddler on the
square. father got a gold stem winder wach for
2 dollers. when he got home he tride to wind it
up and he cood wind it for 15 minutes and it
woodent be enny nearer wound up. so father looked
into it and there wasent ennything in it but the
winder. so father was mad and sed if the Terible 3
wood roten eg that pedler he gessed evrybody wood
be glad of it

gosh i dident say nothing but you bet the Terible
3 will have a meating tomorrow erly and they is
going to be sum fun tomorrow nite.

October 27, 186---this has been a grate day
for te Terible 3. this time we have did sumthing
that evrybody is glad of. xcept jest a few
fellers and sum wimen whitch aint willing to maik
enny sackrifise for the good of the town. bimeby
peeple will see that the Terible 3 is able to do sum
things that the poliseman cant do.

father sed tonite after he got home that it sirved
old Swane the poliseman and old Mizzery Dirgin
the poliseman that throwed me out of the hall that
time that father was going to make a speech but
dident dass to jest rite. that it was the law that
a pedler coodent pedle things without a license and
old Swane and old Mizzery Dirgin knowed it and
hadent augt to have aloud him to do it and if they
had did their duty father woodnt have lost 2 dollers
in bying a tin wach without enny wirks in it.
father sed he woodent have missed it for 10 dollers
and he wood like to know who done it. i sed
peraps it was the Terible 3 and he sed if it is peeple
had augt to forgive them for what they had did to
old Biley and old Bill and old Ike and old Ward
and old J. Albert. i wanted to tell him but of
coarse my othe woodent alow me to tell. i bet
father wood make a awful good member. if he
was a member we wood have to call it the Terible
4 and then peraps Beany and Pwet wood have to
have there fathers in it and we wood have to call it
the Terible 6.

So i gess it is all rite to leeve it as it is, but if
we ever get up another one father will have to join.
jest imagine ennyone ketching us and triing to lick
us when father was round.

i havent stoped laffing yet over it. if enny of
the peeple whitch got pluged ever find out who done
it they will kill us dead. but they wont never find
it out.

well this morning i got up and et my breckfast
and done my choars and went over to Beanys and
got him and we went up to Pewts and had a meating
of the Terible 3 and i told them what father
sed and what the pedler done to hime and that the
pedler was going to pedle there tonite and that it
was our chanct to do good wirk and to maik a naim
for ourselfs. so Pewt took us out to where his
father had set a lot of hens and there was lots of
hens and there was lots of egs that dident hach.
sum of them was so lite that you coodent plug them
verry far and sum of them whitch were heavy had
ded chickings in them. we broke 1 of eech kind
to see whitch smelt the wirst and we coodent tell.
both smelt so bad that we had to go out of the coop
and wait till it aird out. then we pluged 1 of eech
kind agenst the fense. the lits one popped the loudest
and the chicking one spatered the most. they
was 36 left.

Well Beany sed his father was papering sum
rooms in Masonick block in the 2th story for General
Maston and that he was going to Portsmuth
tonite to a masonick meating. so Beany sed he
wood get the kee of the office and we wood go up
there and lock the door and open the windows easy
and not have enny lite birning and we cood see
evrybody in the square and nobody cood see us
and he gessed mister pedler wood think sumbody
had throwed a skunk at him.

well i have forgoten wether i got licked in school
today or not. i dont think i did but i aint sure. i
dident think of ennything but what we was to do
to the pedler and old Francis grabed me and
shook me up and give me 2 or 3 bats and stood
me on the platform for a hour. so i dident get
licked after all. i thougt i wood remember it if
i was licked.

well after supper i studded until haff past seven
and Cele done all of my xamples if i wood let her
read Ratlesnaik Red Head the red Handed after
she had read 2 provirbs. so i let her have it and
after i had coppied the xamples i hipered over to
Beanys. he and Pewt were ready. we devided the
egs and filled our pockets with them and then we
went down town.

when we got there the pedler was standing in his
wagon in the square. and he had a big torchlite and
he was hollering and holding up things to sell. they
was a crowd of peeple round him men and wimmen
and boys and girls. we went down to masonick
block and went up stairs. we dident meat ennybody
and the stairs were pich dark. we unlocked the door
of the office and went in and opened the winders
eesy. it was lucky we did becaus Beany run into
a table in the dark and broak 2 egs in his pocket.
murder how they smelt. we had to stick our heads
out of the window to breeth. Beany sed what am
i to say to father and mother when they smell me
and find i have got roten eg on my close and Pewt
sed we fill say we were in the crowd and got hit and
nobody will think we pluged ourselfs. i tell you
Pewt is awful smart to think up things. that is
why he gits so few lickings in school and me and
Beany get so menny. so after we had got all the
egs out of our pockets and in litle piles ready and
cood breeth inside we all got ready. the old pedler
had a bottle in his hand and sed now ladies and
gentlemen i have here a bottel of my selibrated
panyseer compounded by the most destinkwished
chemists in Europe and of the purist and most
xpensive drugs and warranted to cure headake, earake,
backake, bellyake, hartake, rumatism, growing
panes, varicose vanes, bunions, corns, ingrowing tonales,
scroffuler, siattikeer, lung fevers, scarlet
feever, meezles, hooping coff mumps and croop.
children cry for it, old maids sy for it, you must
have it. waulk up, run up, gump up, tumble up
ennyway to get up only fetch your money up and
all for 1 doller.

jest as he sed that Pewt let ding with a chicking
eg as hard as he cood. it wood have took old mister
pedler square in the head but jest then he leened
down to take a doller and it went over his head and
took old Mizzery Dirgin who was standing facing
towerds us rite square in the mouth and spatered
all over him. i bet he gumped 9 feet in the air
and then begun to hoop and gag and rushed for the
horse troth and put his head in and soused it round
and the peeple all begun to laff and holler and old
Mizzery gumped up all driping and arested Mike
Prescot for being drunk and begun to drag him off
and Mike held back and fit and old Swane grabed
him to help old Mizzery and we let ding as fast
as we cood and old Swane got one rite between the
sholders and one rite in the back of his head that
popped like a pistol and he let go of Mike and
rushed for the troth and put his head in and while
the old pedler was laffing his head off he got 2
chicking egs 1 in his shert bosum and one rite
square in the eye and i never heard sutch swaring
and hooping and gaging in my life and and sheriff
Odlin who was standing on the curbstone got one
in his stovepipe hat and of coarse he had to arest
sumone and he took Bill Hartnitt and waulked him
off and as soon as the old pedler got enuf of the eg
out of his ey so he cood see and breeth he grabed
the ranes and liked his horse round the corner.
peeple were rushing round and triing to get out of
the way and sum were hollering murder what a
stink and sum were hollering hell what a stink and
sum were laffing their heads off and bending over
and slaping their gnees and leening agenst trees
and holding their sides and sum were swaring and
getting the polisemen to arest inosent peeple whitch
hadent done nothing and one man with a streek of
yellow down his back where he had got a popper
was offering 500 dollers for the man whitch wood
tell him who throwed them rotten egs. i see father
there talking with old Swane and old Mizzery and
shaking his head. father dident get hit but Pewts
father did. he got a popper in the coat tale and he
was mad. he wood have been madder if he had
gnew it was his eg.

of coarse we hit a good many peeple that we
dident meen to hit. they shoodent have been in
the way and they coodent blaim ennybody but themselfs.
but i supose they wood about kill us if they
gnew who done it. peeple is prety unreesonable
sumtimes. but we drove the old pedler away and
saved a grate del of money for the peeple and we
pluged old Swane and old Mizzery Dirgin and
evrybody was glad of that. of coarse when a feller
gets a roten eg in the ey or in the middle of his
vest when he has got his best close on he dont feel
xacly plesant towerds ennybody. after tonite i
gess evrybody will ware their old close when they
go out to hear a pedler pedle.

well while the peeple was hollering and swaring
and holding their nose and being arested for being
drunk by old Swane and old Mizzery and Sheriff
Odlin and being draged into the lockup me and
Beany and Pewt shet the winders of the office and
we come down stairs and went home. when we
got to my house we all went in. mother and Aunt
Sarah and Keene and Cele was setting up. well
when he went in and begun to talk mother and
Aunt Sarah begun to maik awful faces and Keene
and Cele sed phew what a awful smell and mother
sed Keene open the windows quick and sumone birn
a rag. what in the wirld have you stepped in boys,
go out and scrape your feet on the scraper and wipe
them on the mat. you had augt to be moar cairful
where you step and Beany he sed it aint that misses
Shute i got hit with a roten eg when sumone roten
eged the pedled and mother sed i dont want to be
unpolite Elbrige, Elbrige is Beany you know, but i
think you had better stand in teh doorway while
you xplain. so Beany stood there and we were telling
about it while Keene leened out of the window
and hollered phew and mother and Aunt Sarah held
their nose when father come in and the minit he
come in he sed Geerusalem the golden naim ever
dear to me will that smell folow me all the days of
my life till i dwell in the house of the lord forever,
and mother sed George i realy wish you woodent
talk so befoar the children and father sed all rite
Joey, he calls mother Joey you know, i wont, but
it is verry triiing to a man of my partickuler disposision
to return to the buzum of his familiy to
find the intire homested smeling like a combineasion
of a glu factory, a fertilizer factory and a ded horse
whitch has been left 3 weaks in a hot July sun.
and mother sed for heavens saik George dont say
enny more. it is bad enuf without thinking of
sutch dredful things. and father sed i wont Joey
only you shood not have interrupted me and tirned
me from my religious medditasions. i was doing
prety well. then Aunt Sarah sed if you aint moar
choise in your langage you never will dwell in the
house of the Lord but sumwhere elce, and father
sed tell me sumthing new and dont scair me to deth
Sarah. but how in the wirld did that smell get
here, and me and Beany and Pewt all hollered
Beany got a eg in the side and father sed i shood
think he did and the best thing Beany can do is to
go home and chainge his close. it is neerly 10 oh
clock and we have got to go to bed sumtime tonite.

so Pewet and Beany went home and father set down
and mother shet the winders and father told us
about it and how meny got hit and what they sed
and we all nearly dide laffing as we always do when
father tells stories, and father sed Gim Ellison got
hit in the middle of his vest and went home holding
his nose up in the air so high that he run bang into
a tree and broak his speckticles, and old Bradbiry
Purington, Pewts father went home holding his
coat tale up like a woman holds up her trane. he
sed that old Mag Mackflannery got hit and went
rite down to old Bill Morrils house and maid so
mutch fuss that Bill promised her a new dress if
she wood shet up and go home. he sed Bill sed he
will never run for selickman again. it keeps him
in hot water all the time. he sed Bill sed if he
hadent agreed to by her a new dress she wood have
drove him into a loonitick assilem.

father he sed it was wirth 25 dollers of enny
mans money to see old Swane and old Dirgin get
it and they hadent enny rite to arest Mike and Bill
and Gimmy Josy whitch wasent doing nothing but
standing round, and wasent drunk enuf to be arested,
and he sed he and Amos Tuck went in and baled
them all out and that was why he was lait. father
sed he wished moar egs had hit the polisemen and
he wished he gnew the fellers whitch throwed the
egs he wood give them 5 dollars.

gosh i wanted to tell him but my othe forbid but
i wish we cood get that 5 dolers. father sed if the
Terible 3 done it they hadent augt to be blaimed
for ennything they had done to old Biley and the
others. then he told me and Keene and Cele to go
to bed and we done it. while i was wrighting i
remembered what father sed about baling out old
Mike and Gimmy Josy and Bill Hartnitt and i hollered
down stairs and sed father how did you go
to wirk to bale out them fellers. and father sed i
used a stomack pump of coarse. how did you
supose i done it, with a dipper. now you go to
bed. so i went back and shet my door.

i tell you father knows how to do things. he
pumped all the rumm out of them fellers and when
they are tride in coart tomorrow and old Swane and
old Mizzery sware that they was drunk the jug will
tell them they is dam liers and a disgraice to the
perfession. i wish i cood go to coart and hear the
jug say that but i supose i have got to go to school.
tomorrow i will wright the report for Pewt to copy
becaus i can spel so mutch beter than Pewt.

October 28, 186---brite and fair. gosh the funniest
thing happened to Pewt and to Beany. when
Pewt got home his father was there and auful mad
because he had got a poper on the coat tale becaus
he was going to a temprunce meating tonite and
was going to set on the platform and Pewts mother
sed it wood be a weak befoar he cood ware that
coat again becaus she wood have to boil it in 2
waters and rince it in and 3 and then dry it and ion
it. so Pewts father coodent set on the platform
at the temprunce meating and he was mad enuf
to lick his grate granfather.

if Pewt had gnew enuf to keep still he wood have
been all rite but he wanted to be funy and he sed
that is a funy way to boil egs and old man Purinton
grabed him and lambasted him with his ratan can
till you cood have heard Pewt holler down town.
it was tuf on Pewt but he dident get a lot of lickings
he ougt to have got and i gess he cant complane.

and Beany had tuf luck two for when he went
into the house they maid him go out and take off
his jaket and his father licked him for spoling his
close and maiking sutch a smell until Beany hollered
as loud as Pewt. for onct in my life i had sum
good luck for i got up the hoal thing and they got
licked for it. i supose it aint rite for 1 of the
Terible 3 to laff when the other 2 gets licked but
i cant help it.

tonite we dident do nothing but put up another
sine on old Ikes house it sed.

  bewair Isak the hour of retrobusion is at hand.
                the Terible 3

i xpect to hear sumthing from Ike tomorrow.

October 29, 186---today neither Pewt nor Beany
cood go out of the yard xcept to go to school. they
boath sed they wood be willing to stay in the yard
the hoal day if they cood stay away from school
but they thougt it was tuf to have to go to school
and run the risk of being licked and then stay in
the yard when the other fellers was having a good time.

but i done the best i cood to help them out.
after school this morning i got a croud of fellers
to go up to Pewts. they was Pop Clark and Hunny
Donovan and Ham Welsh and Skinny Bruce and
Jack and Gim Melvin and we staid there until Pewts
father drove us out and after school this afternoon
i got the saim croud to go over to Beanys so he
woodent be loansum and we staid there till Beanys
father drove us out. Beanys father told my father
that it was more punishment for his family when
he kep Beany in the yard than it was to Beany becaus
evry time he kept Beany in the yard all his
frends come in and rased particklar hell.

tonite old Ike sent for father and wanted to know
if he wood come up and stay with him until nine
oh clock when he was going to have a poliseman
stay all nite to perteck him from the Terrible 3.
father he sent him word that he wood be up after
supper. he had to go down town a few minits and
he sent me up to tell him and to say that he had
better stay in and keep the doors locked. he told
me to tell him he wood give 3 gnocks but not to
open the doer for enyone elce.

Aunt Sarah sed George do you really think they
is enny dainger. and father sed not a bit. sumone
is having fun with Ike and Aunt Sarah sed
why do you want to scare him to deth and father
sed sister mine our gentle cussin Isak has had far
two easy a life and it is a good thing to instil into
his mind the idea that moths and rust do corrup
and theeves braik throug and steel. then aunt Sarah
tride not to laff and sed i think it is a shaim to
wurry so good a man as he is and father sed.

  sister thou wast mild and luvly
  gentle as the summer breaz.

but it is hard to convinse you that desperrit cases
need desperrit remmedies. now this is a desperrit
case. verry desperrit. supose the Terible 3 shood
kidnap Ike and hold him for ransum. who wood
give 5 cents for Ike? who wood give ten, have
i enny offers. maik it 7 1/2 cents. no offers maik
it six. do i have enny offers. no by saint bride of
Bothwel no let the portculis fall. and i wood have
to go throug life uncheered by the companonship
of Ike.

then aunt Sarah sed George do be sensible for
onct in your life. jest onct. are you going to
scare that poor man to deth or not? and father
he sed far from it sweet sister. i shall be kindness
itself. is it kindness in the docter when he
conceles the faital naiture of a diseeze from a diing
man and alows him to go whooping into the vast
beyond without a chanct to repent. is that kindnes
sister? ecco answers not by a dam site sister.
it aint kindnes. it wood have been kindnes to tell
him the gig was up and give him a chanct to maik
his will and pay a few notes and by sum paper
with black eges and 40 or 50 yards of craip for a
fale for his wife.

so it will be my duty, sister, in spite of your
prairs and teers, not to concele from Isak the seerius
nature of the thret maid by the Terible 3. have you
ever reelized how my boyhood was blited by the
thrashings it received becaus i was a bit rude to my
gentle cussen Ike. and do you reelize how many
hundred times he was held up to me as a moddle and
how i was erged sumtimes prairfuly by mother and
moar often strapfuly by father to emulait his vertus.
and do you think, sweet but earring sister that i will
alow sutch a opertunity of asureing him of my pertecksion
and simpathy to pass.

  o the demon and his bride
  and the grate grate owl
  by all his curage tride
  in the popes sanbowl

i gess not, Sarah mine. i shall go up and convinse
Isak that the wicked stand in slepery plaices and
that the way of the transgresor is hard. Isak has
called upon his cussen for pertecksion. wood you
have me fale him, speek woman.

then aunt Sarah began to laff and sed there is no
use in talking to you when you are fealing like that
and i shall not say enny moar and she went off.
i gnew there wood be sum fun for they always is
when father talks like that and so i asted father if
i cood go up to Ikes with him. he sed i cood go
but i must let him do the talking and not say a word
unless i was asted to. so i sed i wood be cairful
and we went up. it was not quite dark and when
we got up there father gnocked 3 gnocks and we
heard sumone say who is there, and father sed it
is me George and then Ike unlocked 3 or 4 locks
and opened it about 5 inchs and it was held by a
chane. then he peeped out and sed is it you George.
who have you got with you and father sed this is
my boy Harry. then he sed to me this is cussen
Isak and i sed how do you do cussen Isak and he
sed how do you do and i sed i spoke to you one day
and you dident know me and so i told father if he
ever got a chanct to interduce me.

the Ike sed i am a little neer sited and i sed i
see you are cussen Isak and then father nugged me
with his elbo and i dident say enything moar.

then father sed you havent heard enything moar of
the kidnapers and Ike he give a sort of gump and
sed do you think cussen George that they is kidnapers
and father sed i have thought so from sum
things i have heard. and old Ike sed what have you
heard and father sed well Isak i dont want to friten
you but you had augt to know this. jist then Ikes
wife Mary come in. we call her Mary Isak becaus
they is so mutch alike and never goes enywhere
and jest sets and rocks in rocking chairs and looks
at each other.

when she come in father got up and shook hands
with Mary Isak and interduced me and she asted
him if he thougt they was verry daingerous men
and father laffed and sed no cussen Mary there
isent the leest dainger in the wirld. it is only sum
smart fellers that wants to have a little fun with
sum of our best cittisens and they isent the leest
need of wurrying. so you go to bed and i will set
up and talk with Isak until the poliseman comes up.

so Mary Isak went up stairs and Isak begun to
perk up quite a lots until father sed as i was saying
Isak when cussen Mary come in, i have read
the papers cairfuly and there has been quite a number
of cases cimmiler to this. 1 in Milton masschusetts
and 1 in Lewiston maine and 2 in new
york State. in eech case warnings was hung up
like these and in each case a verry ritch and promminent
cittisen was kidnaped and held for ransum.
the man in Milton had to pay 35 hundred dollars
and the man in Lewiston paid i think 48 hundred
dollars they wanted 5 thousand dollars but all he
cood rase was 48 hundred and the 2 in New York
had to pay 9 thousand apeace. but you know prises
is higher in New York. probly you woodent have
to pay moar than 5 thousand.

well all this time old Ike had been setting ferst
in one chair and then in another chair and puling his
wiskers and when father sed this he gave a grone
and sed aint there no pertection under the law? and
father sed the matter is being vestigated and persecution
will folow enny falce step that the villins
make. the trubble is they are verry hard to ketch

then Ike sed isent there sum way out of it and
father sed i have been thinking Isak why dont you
and J. Albert Clark and Biley Tilton and the other
fellers whitch has been warned make up a purce
like you and sum of the fellers done when they was
afrade of being draffed in the civil war to hire
substitoots. then if the scoundrils get one of you
the others will help pay his ransum. well Ike he
thought that mite be a good idea and he sed he wood
see sum of them tomorrow if the Terible 3 dident
get him befoar morning. then father sed dont wurry
a bit Isak while i am here they will have to get you
over my ded body and Ike sed thank you George
you were always a kind frend and father sed yes Isak
we was frends but not xactly Damin and Pithius.

well bimeby the poliseman come up and it was
old Filander Kize and he was smoaking a old black
pipe that smelled wirse than one of our poppers
that we pluged at the pedler and old Ike sed have
you got to smoak that mister Kize and old Filander
sed yes it is the only thing that will keep me awake
and so Ike sed well i supose i shall have to stand
it. so me and father come away after shaking
hands with old Ike and father told him to go to bed
and to get a good nites rest and not to wurry and
then we come away and we cood hear him locking
all the locks and bolting all the bolts and puting up
the chane so the Terible 3 coodent kidnap him.

when we was going home father began to laff and
sed i supose i was a meen cus to wurry cussen Isak
like that but all my life he has been held up to me
as a moddle and if i thougt you wood tirn out like
him i shood feal like throwing you over the brige
in a bag with rocks in it. think of living a life
without fun. gosh he mite have been a useful cittizen
if he hadent been so cussed good. how ever
i will go up tomorow and chirk him up a little.

when we got home mother and Sarah was setting
up and darning stockings and Sarah sed well George
did you wurry the poar man out of his wits and
father sed piece woman i treeted him with the uttmost
kindness and was a grate cumfort to him.
of coarse i was cairful not to under estimait the
dainger for feer that Ike mite be bold to rashniss
and xpose himself needlessly to dainger. it wasent
verry hard to perswuade him to stay in the house
for a weak or 2. indeed i think i wood have had
to fite hard to get him out. but when i left him i
asured him taht if wirst come to wirst he cood
probly be able to pay his ransum if it wasent moar
than 20 thousand dollers. i thougt he was going
to faint ded away then and i told him with
me and Melander Kize and old Swane and Mizzery
Dugin and old Brown willing ot sackrifise our lifes
for him he needent wurry.

then Aunt Sarah sed and she coodent talk verry
well because she was triing to bite a thred off, i
think i shall go up and tell cussen Isak that you
are jest stirring him up and father sed he will not
beleeve you for i told him the hoal family but me
had tirned agenst him straingly becaus they thougt
he has did sum dredfill thing that wont see the lite
of day and that Harry and I are the only ones
that stand up for him and Aunt Sarah bit off the
thred with a snap and sed George Shute if i cood
beleeve a single wird you say i shood be verry indignent,
and father sed it is harroing to be so
douted and missunderstood by them whitch is deer
to you and he pertended to burst into teers and sed
he wood go to bed and weap his piller sopping wet
and he made up a auful face and winked at mother
and went up stairs and Aunt Sarah sed to mother
what a man he wood have been on the staige. he
wood have beet comical Brown and Artimus Ward
and Joshua Billings all to peaces, and mother she sed
yes he wood but i prefir him jest as he is.

October 29, 186---rany again. it hasent done
enything but rane for 3 weaks. it was so rany
that we coodent put up eny sines or comit eny
crimes. i saw old Filander coming down from Ikes
this morning and when i went to school i say Mary
Isak with all the winders open airing out the house.

October 30, 186---cold and windy. all the horse
chesnuts in frunt of Sheriff Odlins place has fell
down and all the fellers is stringing them on strings
and pluging them over the telligraf wires. of coarse
me and Beany and Pewt does it to pass away the
time and devert suspishons. we have got moar
serius things to think about. saw old Filander come
down from Ikes again today and saw Mary Isak
airing out the house again. tonite father went up
again to cumfort Ike. father says that he dont
think Ike cood et along without his sunny  precence.

every time father comes home from Ikes he says
Ike sends down town for a man to put on a new
chane or a new lock on the door. father says if he
goes a few moar times he will get him to put iron bars
in the winders. old mother Moulton stays there
days. father says he hasent had so mutch fun sence
he took laffin gas and cleened out docter Johnsons
ofice and throwed docter Johnson out of one winder
and docter Prey out of the other and Gim Melcher
down stairs.

October 31, 186---Hork and Spit both dide today.
give them a big ded rat that old mis Dire
give me. they toar it into bits and et it fir and
all and when i come home from school they was
both ded and all curled up. i asted old mis Dire
how she cougt the rat and she sed she poizened it
with rat poisen only she called it rat poizen. i
told her it killed my horks and she sed she was sorry
but she forgot to tell me. i thougt at ferst that
she done it perpose to pay me for sending her old
cat to Haverhill but i gess she dident. we had a
meating of the Terible 3 today and if she had done
it a perpose we wood have atended to her case even
if she was a woman. while the Terible 3 dont maik
war on wimmen, we dont perpose to have wimmin
maik war on us.

Filander is still at Ikes. tonite we drawed lots
to see witch shood go up with a sine to Biley Tiltons.
i got the shortest straw and had to go. Pewt
had printed a sine whitch sed.

  Bewaire the vengunce of the Terible 3
  it spairith not the wicked man.
  but it strikith in darkniss. Bewair.

when i got up there old Biley was setting by his
door with a gun over his gnees. i sed how do you
do mister Tilton and he sed how do how do. i pertended
i come up to see Luke Mannix but he wasent
to home and i come back. i dident leeve the sine
you bet.

November 1. J. Albert Clark has got a bull dog.
he bougt it of old Mike Casidy. he keeps it to
perteck him from the Terible 3. father thougt
he had augt to have moar pertecksion and told him
so. father is verry kind to J. Albert and to Ike.

we have maid father a onery member of the Terible
3. woodent he be surprised if he gnew it. of
coarse we cant tell him he is a onery member but
he is. i asted Pewt and Beany if they dident want
their fathers to be maid onery members and they
sed no, that their fathers had licked them for nothing
the nite we roten eged the pedler and they wood
voat agenst it. so that is what they get for not
helping the Terible 3.

well tonite when J. Albert come home and tride to
go into the house the bull dog grabed him by the
hine leg and nearly toar his britches off and he
slamed the door on his hed before he wood let go
and J. Albert had to set in the barn while he sent
down to old Mikes to get him to come up and make
the bull dog let him in. so after a while old Mike
come up and maid the dog let him in. then he maid
J. Albert feed the dog and pat him and he told the
dog J. Albert was his frend and he sed the dog
gnew moar than a man and they woodent be eny
moar trubble with him after this. and he maid
J. Albert pay him anuther doller for coming up
and maiking the dog mind J. Albert. it was lucky
J. Albert had on his second best close and it wasent
his best lavender britches that the dog toar. after
supper tonite J. Albert took the bull dog out for a
walk hiched to him with a chane and a coller round
his neck and ferst the dog chased a cat and draged
old J. Albert about 10 rods befoar he cood stop him
and the woman whitch oaned the cat come out and
told J. Albert he wasent eny gentleman for keaping
a feerosius dog and J. Albert was bowing and taiking
off his hat and asting her parden when the ferosius
dog started after another cat and J. Albert
lost his hat and had to hiper a long distence holding
back with his hine legs sticking out in front
and triing to stop him and hollering whoa.

well when J. Albert got him stoped he got a
stick and was going to lick him but the dog grouled
and J. Albert thougt he woodent lick him after all
so he went back after his hat puling the bull dog
along and stoping evry time he come to a tree or
a post, then he got his hat whitch had been run
over by a dingle cart with a lode of hay. well J.
Albert got his hat and pushed it into shaip and
brushed it and put it on and started off again with
the dog. and when he was going by old Si Smith
store old Sis big white dog come out and piched
into J. Albert dog and you had augt to have saw
that fite. it was a ripper. they stood up and toar
at each others gozzles and rassled and rolled over
in the dirt and bit and shook and knawed each
other. and old Si come out and lammed then with
his cain and swoar at J. Albert and old Shep Hogden
and Gimmy Bedell pulled their tales and hine
legs and throwed water on them and hit them with
brickbats and J. Albert pulled at the chane and
hollered and Lamp Flood was a going to lick J.
Albert who hadent done nothing to him when father
grabed him by the neck and neerly yanked his head
off and throwed him in the guter. bimeby a feller
from Mager Blakes stable told Shep to pull on one
dogs hine leg and Gimmy to pull on the other and
when they had the dogs rite out strate the feller lit
a sulfer match rite under their noses and they let
go prety quick and Shep and Gimmy pulled them
apart. the sulfer maid them choak and they had
to let go to breeth. it was a buly fite and old J.
Albert done well.

i wish you cood have saw old Lamp Flood go
fluking into the guter.

November 2, 186---sunday again. it comes round
prety often i think. Saturday dont seam to come
round as often as sunday. today there was a little. this
morning old J. Albert started to go down stairs
and the bull dog woodent let him. i ges in the
xcitement of the fite and chaising the cats he had
forgot that J. Albert was his master. J. Albert
gnocked on the wall and wanted father to take the
kee and open the door and get the bull dog out,
and father sed are you saif J. Albert where you are
and J. Albert sed yes he cant get me up here but i
dont want to stay here the rest of my life, and father
sed if you are saif you will have to stay there till i
can send down for old Mike to come up. i dont
have eny grate hankering to have a bull dog hanging
to me for the rest of my life eether. so maik yourself
to home and reed a few chapters of the bible for
this is sunday and i gess towerds supper time old
Mike will come up. then J. Albert sed cant you get
a gun and shoot him throug the winder and father
sed it is sunday Albert and i am verry perticler
about using fire arms on this sacrid day but if you
will posess your sole in pashents i will see what can
be did.

So J. Albert shet the window and father told me
to go down and get old Mike and i done it and
Mike come up with me and J. Albert throwed out
the kee and old Mike opened the door and the bull
dog waged his tale when he saw old Mike and
wigled round jist like a puppy, he was so glad to
see him, and J. Albert come down and told Mike
he had ruther be kidnaped than et by a bull dog
and he sed Mike had got to taik back the dog and
give back his 10 dollers whitch J. Albert had gave
him and Mike sed not by a dom site a bargin was
a bargin and J. Albert sed he dident bargin for a
dog to eet breckfast dinner and supper off of him
and old Mike sed he asted for a dog that woodent
let enybody into the house and he got one. and
J. Albert sed he xpected to be able to get into his
oan house and old Mike sed he dident say enything
about that when they traded and after they had
talked and jawed about it J. Albert sed Mike cood
have the bull dog if he wood taik him off to onct
and Mike he done it and went off smoaking his old
pipe and the bull dog gumped up on him and wigling
his tale.

enyway aunt Clark J. Alberts mother is coming
home tomorow and i wood like to see enyone kidnap
J. Albert when she is around. Filander is still at Ikes.

November 3, 186---cold as time this morning. i
saw a flock of robins eeting sum red berrys on a
tree. the blackberds has all gone 2 weaks ago.
Potter Gorham says they follow the cost line down
south stoping evry day somewhere to eet. the robins
goes last and sumtimes stays here all winter. i
have never saw a robin in winter but Potter sed he
see one onct.

Potter knows all about birds and animals and
insex and things. he is going to be a natturalist
sum day. i wood ruther be a natturalist than enything
in this wirld xcept a band player. so i am
going to be a band player and play the e flatulent
cornet becaus that is the highest and the loudest
and the eesiest to carry round.

the trumboan is pretty good and if i cant play
the cornet i shood like to play the trumboan. if
sum feller wood maik a trumboan that wood have
the 2 parts slip into eech other so far that there
woodent be enything left then a feller cood put
in into his vest poket when he wasent playing it
and nobody wood know he had it. it wood be grate
fun to taik your trumboan sliped together in your
vest poket to chirch and when the old minister was
preeching auful tiresum and old mister Blake and
old Han. Dow and old Steve Gail and all the other
men in the chirch are sleeping and injoying the
sirmon verry mutch indeed thank you to taik the
trumboan out of your vest poket and put it together
and blow a auful toot ratetatoot as loud as
you can and see all the old pods gump up and sum
of them hit their heads on the phew in frunt of
them where they has been leening their heads in an
atitood of prair and the old minister loose his plaice
and gump ten paiges to 7thly insted of 4thly. and
when old C. Lovell 2th whitch is sumtimes sexton
and sumtimes suprintendent of the sunday school
comes round to see who blowed the horn and to
put him out they aint no horn enywhere and sum
folks think it may be the last trump of Gabril. if i
ever get time i am going to try to maik a trumboan
like that but i am so bizzy with the afairs of the
Terible 3 that i cant spend eny time in sutch things
as them.

Tonite we put the sine Pewt rote for old Biley
Tilton on Ikes house. we had a meating of the
Terible 3 and we desided that we woodent do eny
moar at present to old Biley becaus when a man
sets in his garden with a shot gun on his gnees
and dont ast the polise to help him they aint mutch
use to do enything to him. bimeby peraps we may
have a chanct. we also desided not to do eny moar
to J. Albert becaus he done so well in the dog fite
and was so perlite to the woman when she sed he
was no gentlemen when it wasent his falt becaus
he coodent stop the dog from chaising her cat the
ferst yank but done the best he cood. so we aint
ging to bother him eny moar. so we put up a sine on
his house and neerly got cougt but dident quite. it sed

J. Albert Clark. the Terible 3 has desided that
they has maid a mistaik in your case. you done
splended in the dog fite and you hung on to the
chane and dident let go when Lamp Flood was going
to lick you whitch took grate curage. The
Terible 3 think you are a good feller and are your
frends for life. The Terible 3.

November 4, 186---Today Ike got old Swane to
stay there. he smoaks a wirse smeling pipe than old
Filander. Filander stays nites and old Swane daytimes.
Ike sent for father and father advised him
to have sumbody round all the time. it costs a lot
of money but father says nobudy wood know the
vallue of money unless they spends it. Ike thinks
sumthing is going to hapen prety soon.

November 5, 186---rany today. i gess it was
lucky it was for if it hadent been for the rane Ikes
house wood have birne down. gosh the Terible 3
is fealing prety wurried. last nite at 3 oh clock
the bells begun to ring and in heard peeple hollering
fire. i gumped up prety lifely and i cood hear
father yelling for his britches. we got to the frunt
door together and we cood see a big blaiz up towards
Ikes. gosh i was scart. when father sed them
devils has did it at last i thougt it was all boys
play but i gess it was real. it means stait prizon for
life for sombudy. i was so scart that i cood hardly
maik my hine legs go but i kep up. all the bells
was ringing and evrybudy was hollering fire. when
we got there Pewts father and Beanys father and
old Filander and old Nat Weaks and old Bill Greanleef
and old printer Smith and old Parry Moulton
and old Gus Brown and Pewt and Beany and evryone
were pumping water into lether buckets and
pales and hollering where in hell is the ingines and
this is a hell of a fire dipartment and rushing round
and getting in each others way and swaring and
luging out the firniture and throwing crockery
through the windows. old Bill Greanleaf lowered
his wife out of her chamber by tying her to a sheet
and then clim down hisself when all he had to do
was to go down stares and out of the door. and
it was only 10 feet high and they cood have gumped
if necesary. old Mrs. Sawyer fainted ded away
and sumbudy throwed a pale of water on her and
she gumped up and called him all the naims she
cood think of.

jest then the Torent No 2 come down the strete
with the men on the roap running on the cleen
gump. they stoped by the reservor and run out the
hoze and let down the pipe and then found that they
had left the nozzle at the ingine house upon the
plains and they sent a feller up there on horseback
and all they cood do was to pump water into pales
whitch helped sum but not mutch. then the fellers
formed bucket lines and kep a pumping and pouring
and wondering where the Union No 1 and
Fountain No 3 were.

it tirned out after the fire was over that the moon
was rising in Hamton Falls and that they saw the
lite and went down there as fast as they cood hiper
thinking there was a big fire and when they got way
up to Isiar Hanes house the moon was up so that
they cood see what it was and they was so tuckered
out runing a mile and a haff up hill that they
coodent do a single thing but set down and sware
and call each other dam fools. they was even two
tuckered out to fite and most always firemen is ready
to fite and so they must have been prety well used

well we fellers whitch was at the fire wirking our
heads off and triing to save old Bill Greanleef and
his wife and Ike and his wife and old Bill Morill
was getting prety tuckered with pumping and hollering
and throwing water on the flaims and throwing
firniture throug the winders and runing ladders
agenst peeples heads and saving hens by the hine
legs squorking and flaping feerful and wondering
where the Union No 2 and the Fountain No 3 was
and what had become of the feller whitch had went
for the nozzle and hadent come back when it begun
to pour rane and i never gnew it to rane faster and
in a few minits the fire was out. then we was
going to move the thing back but we found that
sum of the firemen had choped hoals in the roof of
the house. the fire hadent got to the house but they
thougt they wood have the hoals reddy for the Union
No 1 and Fountain No 3 and the feller whitch had
went for the nozzle and hadent got back when they
got there. so the house was full of water and sum
of the plastering had fell down on the heads of
the fellers whitch were throwing things throug the
winders and covered them with plaster.

well after the fire was over we went home. father
says they is going to have the best detecktives in
Boston to find out who the Terible 3 is. evrybuddy
says they done it to get even with Ike. father says
they is jest as sure to go stait prizon as he is to get
his breckfast tomorow. i went to bed but dident
sleap a wink i coodent eet eny breckfast this morning.
mother says i must be sick. gosh it is wirse
than being sick.

this morning the Terible 3 had a meating. we desided
to give up the asociasion and to burn the records.
it is a auful thing to have stait prizon stairing
you in the face when you havent done nothing.
we havent done nothing rong but if they find out
who the Terible 3 is we will have to go to stait
prizon. sumbuddy set fire to Ikes house sure. they
wasent eny stove in the barn. if it had started in
the house it mite have cougt from the chimny.

November 6, 186--- things is getting wirse evry
day. i have lost the record of the Terible 3. Pewt
sed he give it to me all rite but when i went to my
desk it was gone. i know it was there 2 days ago.
i hunted evrywhere for it. i asted mother and
aunt Sarah and all of them if enyone had been in
my desk and they all sed no. mother asted me what
i had lost and i told her i had lost a story i had rote
and she sed well you can remember it cant you and
i sed yes but i dont want to wright it again. i have
hunted evrywhere and so has Beany and Pewt. if
enyone has found it our goos is cooked and we go
to stait prizen. i have looked forward moar than
oncet to going to the reform school or to jale but
i never gnew what it was to xpect to go to stait
prizon for sumthing you never have did. i cant
eet and cant sleap. it is wirse than being ded. a
grate deel wirse.

November 7, 186---the insurance men come and
xamined the fire and took measurements. they desided
it wasent Ikes falt or Bills falt and so they
pade them. father sed Ike and Bill maid moar
money than they had for six months. but he sed
that the insurance companies was going to find out
who done it and it looked to him that the Terible 3
would be looking throug bars before long. i cant
hardly breeth when i think of it. i saw Beany and
Pewt today and they are so scart that they cant
eet or sleap just like me. of coarse we have got
to laff and holler at fellers and play football but
we only laff to concele a braking hart. i wood give
a milion dollers to know what has become of them
records. if i had birnt them we wood have had
sum chanct. and if we had the sence to put sum
other fellers naims in it peraps we mite escaip but
i dont see enny hope.

November 8, 186---brite and fair. i wish i felt
as good as the wether. it seams as if evrybody
was looking at me and saying he done it. he is 1
of the Terible 3. evrytime i see a strainge man i
think he is a detecktive and evrytime i see old Swane
or old Mizzery or old Filander or old Brown i wunder
if they is going to grab me and put the handcufs
on my rists and drag me to the lockup. mother
says she is going to see docter Perry about me
but i laff and say i am all rite. peraps she wood tirn
from me with lothing like Dolly Bidwell done in
East Linn when she plaid it in the town hall last
winter, if she gnew. jest think less than a year ago
i was going to shows and having a good time and
now i am wateing to be sent to stait prizen. i have
often wundered how fellers felt whitch have to go
to stait prizen but now i know.

November 9, 186---sunday again. it mite as well
be sunday as eny other day. perhaps they woodent
arest a feller on sunday. Beany had the docter today.
i asted Lucy Watson what was the matter
with him and she sed Docter Perry sed he was in
a low nervus stait. she sed Docter Perry sed if
Beany had eny mind he shood say sumthing was
praying on it. the minister preeched on the wicked
whitch fleas when no man persuith. that wood be
all rite but detecktives is pursuing us. i wish he
hadent sed enything about it. i wish i cood be let
alone in chirch.

November 10, 186---Pewt had the docter today.
he had docter Swet. docter Swet thinks Pewt is
thretened with brane feever. father says that cant
be. he sed he shood as soon xpect me to have brane
feever as Pewt. i think peraps we will all feal
better when it is over. what i am afrade of is that
Pewt and Beany may go crasy and say i done it
all. what if they shood. i wood give a milion dollers
if i gnew where them records have went to.

November 11, 186---Beany aint eny better. i went
over today to see him and see what cood be did and
he sed he dident want to see enybudy. i went up to
see Pewt and asted old man Purinton how he was
and he sed he was getting no better verry fast. i
wunder if he has heard enything.

November 12, 186---Pewt aint enny better. Beany
aint et ennything but broth for 2 days. i still eet
to keep up my strenth. i am wurried about them.
if they get two week peraps they will comfes and
say i done it. i hoap they is man enuf to keep
their othes. i am going to keep mine.

i forgot to say wether it was brite or fair or
rainy or enything fer a weak. i dont remember
and i dont cair a dam. there i have sed it.

November 13, 186---father keeps looking at me
quear. i wunder if he suspecks ennything. if i
had only told him he was a onery member peraps
i cood tell him about things without braking my
othe. i bet he wood help us. we have got to have
sum help. it wont do to let Pewt and Beany dy
and leeve me to go to stait prizon alone. if 1 of
has got to go to stait prizon the hoal 3 of us has
got to go. Beany and Pewt aint going to sneek out
of it by dying. that woodent be fair.

November 14, 186---i have gave up haop and
dont cair now. i am only wateing till a poliseman
grabs me. i got licked in school. it dident even
hirt me. it maid me think of sumthing elce but
stait prizon for a few minits. old Francis says i
am getting nummer evry day. he says if i dont
waik up he will have to waik me.

what is the use enyway. last Sunday the minister
sed evrybudy cood get the gratest cumfort from
the bible whatever his truble was. he sed open the
bible and reed the first virse you see and it will
comfort you. so today i saw Celes bible open where
she had left it. she is reeding Isiar. i dident know
eny part of the bible was rote by Isiar. Isiar Hanes
was probably naimed after him, well i thougt i
wood do as the minster sed. so i shet up the bible
and then opened it and the ferst virse i saw was

  by these 3 was the third part of men
  killed, by the fire and by the smoak

it was in chapter 9 virse 18 of Revellasions. you
cood have gnocked me down with a fether. i shet
up the book and set down. then i got out the
dicksionery and looked up Revellasions and it sed

     revellasions---the ack of disclosing to others
           that whitch was ungnew to them.

so what is the use. i wish i was ded.

November 15, 186---the gratest thing has happened.
i feel as if i cood fli to the moon. jest
think i am in my room wateing for father to come
and lick me and i aint wurrid a bit. i have et haff
a mince pye and i never taisted enything so good
in my life befoar. i feel so good that i wood like
to holler. jest think i aint got to go to stait prizon
nor Beany nor Pewt. this morning Pewt and Beany
were faleing verry fast and the last i heard of them
they was setting up in their shirt tales eeting meet
and potatoes and pye and evrything.

well tonite father went out and mother asted
him where he was going and he sed low so i woodent
hear him up to Brads. i heard him and i thougt
sumthing was up. so after he had went out i
folowed on and saw him go into the paint shop.
Pewts father and Beanys father and General Mastin
were there. so i crep up where there was a broaken
winder and lissened. father set down and took out
of his poket, what do you think, the records of
the Terible 3. i was so sirprized that i neerly hollered
but dident. then father sed well gentlemen
i have the infirnalist record of yuthfull depravity i
ever read in my life. and then he read it and evry
time he stoped to breeth old General Mastin wood
slap his gnee and holler god did you ever hear the
like of that, the little devils. and father wood holler
and laff and Pewts father and Beanys father wood
two. then father wood read sum moar and then
he sed i wish i had been a member and i almost sed
you was an onery member but i gnew enuf not to.

bimeby he finished and sed there General did you
ever hear enything like that in your life and General
sed he never did. then father sed he suspecked
us from the ferst and peraps he was as mutch to
blaim as we was becaus he stirred up old Ike and
J. Albert but when the fire come he was wurrid as
the devil althoug he felt sure we hadent done it
he was afrade sum dam fool wood try to lay it
onto us. and the very day of the fire he found the
records where i had droped them. he told Pewts
father and Beanys father and they thougt it
woodent hirt us to wurry and they told the 2 docters
and the docters sed they was all rite and it woodent
hirt them.

then father sed it was only fair that he and Pewts
father and Beanys father shood pay for eny damige
we had did. and Pewts father sed as long as i got
it up father had augt to pay. and father sed why
do you say that and Pewts father sed becaus he
always does get the other boys into truble and father
kind of smiled and handed the records to him
and sed whose writing is that.

and Pewts father looked at it and sed hum haw
and that was all he cood say. Father dident know
that i rote them becaus i cood spel so mutch better
than Pewt and Pewt coppid them.

then General Mastin sed Ike and Bill has maid
money by the fire and these little devils dident have
enything to do with that and that it cougt from hot
ashes enyway. now i am counsil for the boys and
i aint obliged to tell a thing about them or who they
are. a lawyer aint obliged to. i will put a peace in
the paper saying enyone whitch has sustaned eny
damige from the so called Terible 3 can by proving
there damige under othe to me will be pade. and
you may be sure that they aint a man living that
will be willing to sine the kind of a staitment i will
draw up for him, and General laffed and they all
did two.

then father asted General what his bill was and
General sed hell the only thing he wished was that
he cood have been a member of the Terible 3 and
if father wood give him that record to keep to look
at when things was going rong to cheer him up he
wood call it square. so father give them to him.
then i started to creap away and i cougt my foot
and come down with a bang and in a moment father
come out on the cleen gump and grabed me. then
he sed well sir what have you been doing lissening
and i sed yes sir and he sed you start yourself for
home and after Clarence and Elbrige, they is Pewt
and Beany you know, have had there supper i will
come hoam and atend to your case. so i come home
and i am wateing for him to come and lick me and
i dont cair. enybody whitch cant stand a licking
when he knows he has escaiped stait prizon aint
mutch of a feller. gosh aint it good to feel good.

November 16, 186---brite and fair. father dident
lick me. it is fun to be alive.

November 17, 186---Beany and Pewt has got well
again and has come to school today. we have been
wundering if a onery member had eny rite to give
them records to enybudy. of coarse we dont cair
but we have been wundering.

November 18, 186---brite and fair.

                   THE END

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