Title: The Merry-Thought: or the Glass-Window and Bog-House Miscellany. Part 1
Author: Thrumbo, Hurlo (pseudonym)
Language: English
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*** Start of this LibraryBlog Digital Book "The Merry-Thought: or the Glass-Window and Bog-House Miscellany. Part 1" ***


  [Transcriber's Note:

  The texts cited use a variety of long and short dashes, generally with
  no relationship to the number of letters omitted. For this e-text,
  short dashes are shown as separated hyphens, while longer dashes are
  shown as connected hyphens:

      D - - - n _Molley H----ns_ for her Pride.

  Groups of three vertical braces } represent a single brace
  encompassing three rhymed line.]

       *       *       *       *       *
           *       *       *       *
       *       *       *       *       *

  The Augustan Reprint Society

  THE
  MERRY-THOUGHT:

  or, the
  Glass-Window and Bog-House
  MISCELLANY.

  Part I
  (_1731_)


  _Introduction by_
    GEORGE R. GUFFEY


  Publication Number _216_
  WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY
  University of California, Los Angeles
  _1982_



GENERAL EDITOR

  David Stuart Rodes, _University of California, Los Angeles_

EDITORS

  Charles L. Batten, _University of California, Los Angeles_
  George Robert Guffey, _University of California, Los Angeles_
  Maximillian E. Novak, _University of California, Los Angeles_
  Thomas Wright, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_

ADVISORY EDITORS

  Ralph Cohen, _University of Virginia_
  William E. Conway, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_
  Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_
  Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_
  Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_
  Earl Miner, _Princeton University_
  Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_
  James Sutherland, _University College, London_
  Robert Vosper, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_

CORRESPONDING SECRETARY

  Beverly J. Onley, _William Andrews Clark Memorial Library_

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

  Frances M. Reed, _University of California, Los Angeles_



INTRODUCTION


For modern readers, one of the most intriguing scenes in Daniel Defoe's
_Moll Flanders_ (1722) occurs during the courtship of Moll by the man
who is to become her third husband. Aware that the eligible men of her
day have little interest in prospective wives with small or nonexistent
fortunes, Moll slyly devises a plan to keep her relative poverty a
secret from the charming and (as she has every reason to believe)
wealthy plantation owner who has fallen in love with her. To divert
attention from her own financial condition, she repeatedly suggests that
he has been courting her only for her money. Again and again he protests
his love. Over and over she pretends to doubt his sincerity.

After a series of exhausting confrontations, Moll's lover begins what is
to us a novel kind of dialogue:

  One morning he pulls off his diamond ring and writes upon the glass
  of the sash in my chamber this line:

          You I love and you alone.

  I read it and asked him to lend me the ring, with which I wrote under
  it thus:

          And so in love says every one.

  He takes his ring again and writes another line thus:

          Virtue alone is an estate.

  I borrowed it again, and I wrote under it:

          But money's virtue, gold is fate.[1]

After a number of additional thrusts and counterthrusts of this sort,
Moll and her lover come to terms and are married.

  [Footnote 1: Daniel Defoe, _Moll Flanders_ (New York: New American
  Library, 1964), pp. 71-72.]

The latter half of the twentieth century has seen a steady growth of
serious scholarly interest in graffiti. Sociologists, psychologists, and
historians have increasingly turned to the impromptu "scratchings" of
both the educated and the uneducated as indicators of the general mental
health and political stability of specific populations.[2] Although most
of us are familiar with at least a few of these studies and all of us
have observed numerous examples of this species of writing on the walls
of our cities and the rocks of our national parks, we are not likely,
before encountering this scene in _Moll Flanders_, to have ever before
come into contact with graffiti produced with such an elegant writing
implement.

  [Footnote 2: For example, E. A. Humphrey Fenn, "The Writing on the
  Wall," _History Today_, 19 (1969), 419-423, and "Graffiti,"
  _Contemporary Review_, 215 (1969), 156-160; Terrance L. Stocker,
  Linda W. Dutcher, Stephen M. Hargrove, and Edwin A. Cook, "Social
  Analysis of Graffiti," _Journal of American Folklore_, 85 (1972),
  356-366; Sylvia Spann, "The Handwriting on the Wall," _English
  Journal_, 62 (1973), 1163-1165; Robert Reisner and Lorraine
  Wechsler, _Encyclopedia of Graffiti_ (New York: Macmillan, 1974);
  "Graffiti Helps Mental Patients," _Science Digest_, April, 1974,
  pp. 47-48; Henry Solomon and Howard Yager, "Authoritarianism and
  Graffiti," _Journal of Social Psychology_, 97 (1975), 149-150;
  Carl A. Bonuso, "Graffiti," _Today's Education_, 65 (1976), 90-91;
  Elizabeth Wales and Barbara Brewer, "Graffiti in the 1970's,"
  _Journal of Social Psychology_, 99 (1976), 115-123; Ernest L. Abel
  and Barbara E. Buckley, _The Handwriting on the Wall: Toward a
  Sociology and Psychology of Graffiti_ (Westport, Conn.: Greenwood
  Press, 1977); and Marina N. Haan and Richard B. Hammerstrom,
  _Graffiti in the Ivy League_ (New York: Warner Books, 1981).]

Glass being fragile and diamonds being relatively rare, it is not
surprising that few examples of graffiti produced by the method employed
by Moll and her lover are known to us today. Interestingly enough, we
do, however, have available to us a variety of Renaissance and
eighteenth-century written materials suggesting that the practice of
using a diamond to write ephemeral statements on window glass was far
less rare in those periods than we might expect. Holinshed, for example,
tells us that in 1558 when Elizabeth was released from imprisonment at
Woodstock, she taunted her enemies by writing

  these verses with hir diamond in a glasse window verie legiblie as
  here followeth:

    Much suspected by me,
    Nothing prooued can be:
    Quoth Elizabeth prisoner.[3]

  [Footnote 3: _Holinshed's Chronicles of England, Scotland, and
  Ireland_ (London, 1808), IV, 133.]

And in John Donne's "A Valediction: of my Name in the Window," we find
two lovers in a situation reminiscent of that of the scene I previously
quoted from _Moll Flanders_. Using a diamond, the poet, before beginning
an extended journey, scratches his name on a window pane in the house of
his mistress. Here is the first stanza of the poem:

        My name engrav'd herein,
    Doth contribute my firmnesse to this glasse,
        Which, ever since that charme, hath beene
        As hard, as that which grav'd it, was;
    Thine eyes will give it price enough, to mock
        The diamonds of either rock.[4]

While he is absent, the characters he has cut in the glass will, the
poet hopes, magically defend his mistress against the seductive
entreaties of his rivals.

  [Footnote 4: John Donne, _The Elegies and the Songs and Sonnets_,
  ed. Helen Gardner (Oxford, Clarendon Press, 1966), p. 64.]

In 1711 in a satiric letter to _The Spectator_, John Hughes poked fun at
a number of aspiring poets who had recently attempted to create works of
art by utilizing what Hughes called "Contractions or Expedients for
Wit." One Virtuoso (a mathematician) had, for example, "thrown the Art
of Poetry into a short Problem, and contrived Tables by which any one
without knowing a Word of Grammar or Sense, may to his great Comfort, be
able to compose or rather erect _Latin_ Verses." Equally ridiculous to
Hughes, and more relevant to the concerns of this introduction, was the
practice of another poet of his acquaintance: "I have known a Gentleman
of another Turn of Humour, who, despising the Name of an Author, never
printed his Works, but contracted his Talent, and by the help of a very
fine Diamond which he wore on his little Finger, was a considerable Poet
upon Glass. He had a very good Epigrammatick Wit; and there was not a
Parlour or Tavern Window where he visited or dined ... which did not
receive some Sketches or Memorials of it. It was his Misfortune at last
to lose his Genius and his Ring to a Sharper at Play; and he has not
attempted to make a Verse since."[5]

  [Footnote 5: _The Spectator_, No. 220, November 12, 1711.]

But "Epigrammatick Wits" of this sort were not universally despised in
the eighteenth century. In 1727 in a "critical dissertation prefix'd" to
_A Collection of Epigrams_, the anonymous editor of the work argued that
the epigram itself "is a species of Poetry, perhaps, as old as any other
whatsoever: it has receiv'd the approbation of almost all ages and
nations...." In the book proper, he found room for a number of epigrams
which he evidently copied from London window panes. Here is an example:

  CLX.

  _To a Lady, on seeing some Verses in Praise of her, on a Pane of
  Glass._

      Let others, brittle beauties of a year,
      See their frail names, and lovers vows writ here;
      Who sings thy solid worth and spotless fame,
      On purest adamant should cut thy name:
      Then would thy fame be from oblivion sav'd;
      On thy own heart my vows must be engrav'd.

One of the epigrams in this collection suggests that, unlike Moll's
lover and Hughes's poet, some affluent authors had even acquired
instruments specifically designed to facilitate the practice of writing
poetry on glass:

  _Written on a Glass by a Gentleman, who borrow'd the Earl of
  _CHESTERFIELD_'s Diamond Pencil._

      Accept a miracle, instead of _wit_;
      See two dull lines by _Stanhope's_ pencil writ.[6]

  [Footnote 6: No. CCCLXXXII, in _A Collection of Epigrams. To Which
  Is Prefix'd, a Critical Dissertation on This Species of Poetry_
  (London, 1727).]

As the title of this epigram also suggests, window panes were not the
only surfaces considered appropriate for such writing. A favorite
alternate surface was that of the toasting glass. The practice of
toasting the beauty of young ladies had originated at the town of Bath
during the reign of Charles II. By the beginning of the eighteenth
century, the members of some social clubs had developed complex toasting
rituals which involved the inscription of the name of the lady to be
honored on a drinking glass suitable for that purpose. In 1709 an issue
of _The Tatler_ described the process in some detail:

  that happy virgin, who is received and drunk to at their meetings,
  has no more to do in this life but to judge and accept of the first
  good offer. The manner of her inauguration is much like that of the
  choice of a doge in Venice: it is performed by balloting; and when
  she is so chosen, she reigns indisputably for that ensuing year; but
  must be elected a-new to prolong her empire a moment beyond it. When
  she is regularly chosen, her name is written with a diamond on a
  drinking-glass.[7]

  [Footnote 7: _The Tatler_, No. 24, June 4, 1709.]

Perhaps the most famous institution practicing this kind of ceremony in
the eighteenth century was the Kit-Kat Club. In 1716 Jacob Tonson,
a member of that club, published "Verses Written for the
Toasting-Glasses of the Kit-Kat Club" in the fifth part of his
_Miscellany_. Space limitations will not permit extensive quotations
from this collection, but the toast for Lady Carlisle is alone
sufficient to prove that complete epigrams were at times engraved upon
the drinking glasses belonging to this club:

    She o'er all Hearts and Toasts must reign,
    Whose Eyes outsparkle bright Champaign;
    Or (when she will vouchsafe to smile,)
    The Brilliant that now writes _Carlisle_.[8]

Part I of _The Merry-Thought: or, The Glass-Window and Bog-House
Miscellany_ was almost certainly published for the first time in 1731.
Arthur E. Case (_Bibliography of English Poetical Miscellanies_,
1521-1750) notes that this pamphlet was listed in the register of books
in the _Gentleman's Magazine_ for October 1731.[9] An instant success
with the reading public, second and third editions of the pamphlet, the
third "with very Large Additions and Alterations," were also published
in 1731.[10] Because, as its title-page declared, the third and last
edition was the fullest of the three, a copy of that edition has been
chosen for reproduction here.[11]

  [Footnote 8: _The Fifth Part of Miscellany Poems_, ed. Jacob Tonson
  (London, 1716), p. 63.]

  [Footnote 9: _A Bibliography of English Poetical Miscellanies,
  1521-1750_ (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 1935), p. 275.]

  [Footnote 10: Case, p. 276, points out that the second edition was
  advertised in the November 13, 1731, issue of _Fog's Weekly Journal_
  and that the third edition was advertised in the December 11, 1731,
  issue of the same journal. Three additional parts were also
  published within a year or so, see Case, pp. 276-277.]

  [Footnote 11: Although, as the title-page of the third edition
  advertises, the third edition does contain materials not to be found
  in the second edition, it does not indicate that the second edition
  itself contained materials omitted from the third edition. Among the
  materials not reprinted were the following verses:

    _Red-Lyon_ at _Stains_.

      My Dear _Nancy P---k---r_
      I sigh for her, I wish for her,
      I pray for her. Alas! it is a Plague
      That _Cupid_ will impose, for my Neglect
      Of his Almighty, Dreadful, Little Might.
      Well, will I love, write, sigh, pray, sue, and groan
      Ah! where shall I make my Moan!
        _T. S._ 1709.

    _John Crumb_, a Bailiff, as he was carrying to his Grave,
    occasioned the following Piece to be written upon a Window in
    _Fleet-Street_, _1706_.

      Here passes the Body of _John Crumb_,
      When living was a Baily-Bum
      T'other Day he dy'd,
      And the Devil he cry'd,
      Come _Jack_, come, come.

    In the _Tower_.

      Though Guards surround me Day and Night,
      Let _Celia_ be but in my Sight,
      And then they need not fear my Flight.
        L. N. & G. ]

The title-page of Part I of _The Merry-Thought_ states that the contents
of the pamphlet had been taken from "Original Manuscripts written in
_Diamond_ by Persons of the first Rank and Figure in _Great Britain_"
and that they had been "Faithfully Transcribed from the Drinking-Glasses
and Windows in the several noted _Taverns_, _Inns_, and other _Publick
Places_ in this Nation. Amongst which are intermixed the Lucubrations of
the polite Part of the World, written upon Walls in Bog-houses, _&c._"
These statements suggest one of the principal leveling strategies of the
pamphlet as a whole: the nobility and the rich, whatever their
advantages otherwise, must, like the lowest amongst us, make use of
privies; and, in the process, they are just as likely as their brethren
of the lower classes to leave their marks on the walls of those
conveniences.

A number of the verses included in the pamphlet continue the leveling
process. One in particular (p. 20) adopts the principal strategy
employed on the title-page:

  _From the Temple Bog-House._

    No Hero looks so fierce to Fight,
    As does the Man who strains to sh-te.

Others suggest that sexual relations are essentially leveling
activities. Here (p. 24) is an example:

  _Toy, at Hampton-Court_, 1708.

    D---n _Molley H---ns_ for her Pride,
    She'll suffer none but Lords to ride:
    But why the Devil should I care,
    Since I can find another Mare?

      _L. M. August._

Another target of the pamphlet was _The Spectator_ in general and
Addison in particular. In his dedication, J. Roberts first insists that
the graffiti in his collection are notable examples of wit.[12] He next
goes out of his way to associate the contents of _The Merry-Thought_
with _The Spectator_:

  _But I may venture to say, That good Things are not always respected
  as they ought to be: The People of the World will sometimes overlook
  a Jewel, to avoid a T--d.... Nay, I have even found some of the
  _Spectator's_ Works in a Bog-house, Companions with Pocky-Bills and
  Fortune-telling Advertisements...._

  [Footnote 12: Roberts was almost certainly the collector of the
  graffiti printed in _The Merry-Thought_ as well as the author of the
  dedication, but the dedication was itself signed with the name
  "Hurlo Thrumbo." Similarly, the title-page listed Hurlo Thrumbo as
  the publisher of the work. In 1729 _Hurlothrumbo: or, The
  Super-Natural_, a play by a half-mad dancer and fiddler, Samuel
  Johnson of Cheshire (1691-1773), had set all of London talking. The
  irrational, amusing speeches and actions of Hurlothrumbo, the play's
  title-character, gained instant fame, and two years later Roberts,
  by attributing his collection to the labors of that celebrity, had
  every reason to expect that the book would attract immediate
  attention. For a detailed account of the relationship between
  Johnson's play and _The Merry-Thought_, see George R. Guffey,
  "Graffiti, Hurlo Thrumbo, and the Other Samuel Johnson," in _Forum:
  A Journal of the Humanities and Fine Arts_ (University of Houston),
  XVII (1979), 35-47.]

In a series of essays in _The Spectator_ (Nos. 58-61; May, 1711),
Addison had earlier, of course, been at pains to distinguish between
"true wit" and "false wit." Particularly abhorrent to him was the rebus.
The first part of _The Merry-Thought_ alone contains seven rebuses from
"_Drinking-Glasses, at a private Club of Gentlemen_" (pp. 12-13), as
well as several examples of other kinds of "wit" which Addison would
have disdained.

During the twenty-five years that followed the publication of the
_Merry-Thought_ series, a few additional pieces of graffiti were
published in England and America.[13] In 1761 _The New Boghouse
Miscellany_ appeared, but the contents of this book had little in common
with the _Merry-Thought_ pamphlets. Only the scatological humor of the
subtitle:

  _A Companion for the Close-stool._ Consisting of Original Pieces in
  Prose and Verse by several Modern Authors. Printed on an excellent
  soft Paper; and absolutely necessary for all those, who read with a
  View to Convenience, as well as Delight. Revised and corrected by
  a Gentleman well skilled in the Fundamentals of Literature, near
  Privy-Garden

and the generally anti-intellectual thrust of its preface were
reminiscent of the _Merry-Thought_ pamphlets. Not until the last half of
the twentieth century would the graffito in English receive the kind of
attention that had been paid it in England in the 1730s.

  [Footnote 13: See, for example, _The Scarborough Miscellany_
  (London, 1732), pp. 34, 35; _The Connoisseur_, April 11, 1754,
  p. 87; _The New American Magazine_, No. 12, December, 1758.]

  University of California

    Los Angeles



BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE


  _The Merry-Thought: or, The Glass-Window and Bog-House Miscellany_
  is reproduced from a copy of the third edition in the William
  Andrews Clark Memorial Library. A typical type page (p. 20) measures
  173 x 87 mm.



  [Illustration:
  {tavern surmounted by cherub carrying banner reading "ha! ha! ha!"}]



                      The

                 MERRY-THOUGHT:

                    or, the

          Glass-Window and Bog-House

                  MISCELLANY.

                  Taken from

  The Original Manuscripts written in _Diamond_
    by Persons of the first Rank and Figure in _Great
    Britain_; relating to Love, Matrimony, Drunkenness,
    Sobriety, Ranting, Scandal, Politicks, Gaming,
    and many other Subjects, _Serious_ and _Comical_.

  Faithfully Transcribed from the Drinking-Glasses and
    Windows in the several noted _Taverns_, _Inns_, and
    other _Publick Places_ in this Nation. Amongst which
    are intermixed the Lucubrations of the polite Part
    of the World, written upon Walls in Bog-houses, _&c._

  _Published by_ HURLO THRUMBO.

    _Gameyorum, Wildum, Gorum,
    Gameyorum a Gamy,
    Flumarum a Flumarum,
    A Rigdum Bollarum
    A Rigdum, for a little Gamey._

        Bethleham-Wall, Moor-Fields.

  The Third Edition; with very Large Additions and Alterations.

    _LONDON:_

  Printed for J. ROBERTS in _Warwick-Lane_; and Sold by
    the Booksellers in Town and Country. [Price 6 _d._]



_N. B._ Some Pieces having been inadvertently inserted in the Second
Part of this Miscellany, whoever it is that shall hereafter send any
Thing which reflects on the Character, &c. of any Person, whether it
be a Nobleman, or a Link-Boy, shall receive no Favour from our Hands.



  The

  DEDICATION

  To The

  Honourable and Worthy Authors
  of the following Curious Pieces.

  Gentlemen and Ladies,

_Would it not be great Pity, that the profound Learning and Wit of so
many illustrious Personages, who have favoured the Publick with their
Lucubrations in Diamond Characters upon _Drinking-Glasses_, on
_Windows_, on _Walls_, and in _Bog-houses_, should be left to the World?
Consider only, Gentlemen and Ladies, how many Accidents might rob us of
these sparkling Pieces, if the industrious Care of the Collector had not
taken this Way of preserving them, and handing them to Posterity. In the
first Place, some careless Drawer breaks the Drinking-Glasses inscribed
to the Beauties of our Age; a furious Mob at an Election breaks the
Windows of a contrary Party; and a cleanly Landlord must have, forsooth,
his Rooms new painted and white-wash'd every now and then, without
regarding in the least the Wit and Learning he is obliterating, or the
worthy Authors, any more than when he shall have their Company: But I
may venture to say, That good Things are not always respected as they
ought to be: The People of the World will sometimes overlook a Jewel, to
avoid a T--d, though the Proverb says, _Sh - tt - n Luck is good Luck_.
Nay, I have even found some of the _Spectator_'s Works in a Bog-house,
Companion with Pocky-Bills and Fortune-telling Advertisements; but now,
as Dr. _R----ff_ said, _You shall live_; and I dare venture to affirm,
no Body shall pretend to use any of your bright Compositions for
Bum-Fodder, but those who pay for them. I am not in this like many other
Publishers, who make the Works of other People their own, without
acknowledging the Piracy they are guilty of, or so much as paying the
least Complement to the Authors of their Wisdom: No, Gentlemen and
Ladies, I am not the Daw in the Fable, that would vaunt and strut in
your Plumes. And besides, I know very well you might have me upon the
Hank according to Law, and treat me as a Highwayman or Robber; for you
might safely swear upon your Honours, that I had stole the whole Book
from your recreative Minutes. But I am more generous; I am what you may
call Frank and Free; I acknowledge them to be _YOURS_, and now publish
them to perpetuate the Memory of your Honours Wit and Learning: But as
every one must have something of Self in him, I am violently flattered,
that my Character will shine like the Diamonds you wrote with, under
your exalted Protection, to the End of Time. I am not like your common
Dedicators, who fling out their Flourishes for the sake of a Purse of
Guineas on their Dedicatees; No, Gentlemen and Ladies, all I desire is,
that you will receive this kindly, though I have not put Cuts to it, and
communicate what sublime Thoughts you may chance to meet with to the
Publisher, _J. Roberts_, in _Warwick-Lane_, Post paid, for_

  Your Most Humble,

    Most Obedient,

      Most Obsequious,

        Most Devoted,

          And Most Faithful Servant,

  HURLO THRUMBO.



  THE

MERRY-THOUGHT.

  PART I.

_Madam Catherine Cadiere's Case opened, against Father Girard's powerful
Injunction. In a Window at Maidenhead._

  My dearest _Kitty_, says the _Fryar_, }
  Give me a holy Kiss, and I'll retire, }
  Which Kiss set all his Heart on Fire. }
  He had no Rest that Night, but often cry'd,     }
  Z - - - nds, my dear _Kitty_ shall be occupy'd; }
  I'll lay aside my Rank, I will not be deny'd.   }
          To-morrow I'll try her,
          Said the Fryar;
          And so he went to her,
          And did undoe her,
  By making her cry out for Mercy;
  And then he kiss'd her _Narsey-Parsey_.

    _L. F._ 1731.

_Underwritten._

  Dear _Kitty_ could never have suffered Disgrace,       }
  If whilst the old Fryar was kissing her A - - - se,    }
  She'd pull'd up her Spirits, and sh - - t in his Face. }


_From an hundred Windows._

  That which frets a Woman most,
  Is when her Expectation's crost.


_Sun behind the Exchange._

_To Mr. _D-----b_, on his being very hot upon Mrs. _N. S._ _1714_._

  When the Devil would commit a Rape.
  He took upon him _Cupid_'s Shape:
  When he the Fair-One met, at least,
  They kiss'd and hugg'd, or hugg'd and kiss'd;
          But she in amorous Desire,
  Thought she had _Cupid_'s Dart,
            But got Hell Fire,
            And found the Smart.

  _N. B._ And then the Surgeon was sent for.


_From the White-Hart at Acton._

  _Kitty_ the strangest Girl in Life,
  For any one to make a Wife;
  Her Constitution's cold, with warm Desire,
  She kisses just like Ice and Fire.


_At the Bear-Inn, Spinham-Land._

  E V A N K it is a Word of Fame,
  Spell it backwards, 'tis your Name.

    _S. T._ 1710.

Find it out if 'tis your Name,

    _R. M._


_At the Cranes, Edgeworth._

      As I walk'd by myself,
      I said to myself.
  And myself said again to me:
      Look to thyself,
      Take Care of thyself,
  For no Body cares for thee.
      Then I myself
      Thus answer'd myself,
  With the self-same Repartee:
      Look to thyself,
      Or look not to thyself,
  'Tis the self-same Thing to me.

    _John Careless._


_On a Frier who cuckol'd a Dyer at Roan in France; and the Dyer's
Revenge in dying him _Blue_._

      There was a topping Dyer,
      Was cuckol'd by a Frier:
      He saw the Case,
      How bad it was,
  And feign'd to take a Journey,
  Saying softly, Madam, ---- burn ye
      But stopping by the Way
      He saw the Priest full gay,
      Running fast to his House,
      To tickle his Spouse:
  'Tis d----n'd vile, thinks the Dyer,
  But away went the Frier.
      I'll be with you anon,
      Says the Dyer, ---- go on,
      And as I am blunt,
      If I find you have don't,
      I'll dye you for Life,
      For debauching my Wife;
      And as good as his Word,
      For he car'd not a T - - d,
      Away goes the Dyer,
      Caught his Wife with the Frier.
      And led the Monk down,
      And pickled him soon,
      In a Dye-Fat of Blue,   }
      Which he ever will rue, }
      'Twas so lasting a Hue; }
      And that spoilt his hunting,
      A Twelve-month or two, _&c._

    _Daniel Cowper, &c._


_On a Tavern Window in Fleet-Street._

_An Address to our present Petit-Maitres._

  No more let each fond foppling court a Brother,
  And quit the Girls to dress for one another;
  Old maids, in Vengeance to their slighted Beauty,
  Shall one Day make you wish you'd done your Duty;
  Thro' H - - ll they drag ye on most aukward Shapes,
  Yoak'd in their Apron-Strings, and led for Apes.


_Written under a Couple of paultry Verses, in a _Woman_'s Hand._

  Immodest Words admit of no Defence;
  For Want of Decency is want of Sense.


_Eaton, on a Window._

_A Discourse by Numbers and Figures._

  When I came to V,
  We made IV of us II;
  Yet I took the Right Hand,
  And then what came of V?

    V was lesser by I
  Then V had been beIV:
    But an L and some Xes
  Would make V LXXX.

  If V could C as well as I,
  'Tis a hundred to one, but I comply;
  Then V and I together fix,
  I'll stand by V, and make V VI.


_On a Window in Mainwaring's Coffee-House, Fleet-Street._

_Omnia Vincit Amor._

  If Kisses were the only Joys in Bed,
  Then Women would with one another wed.


_At the Same Place._

  Let _Jove_ his _Juno_, and his _Nectar_ boast,
  Champain's my Liquor, and Miss _K - - - g_ my Toast.


_Rumford on a Window._

  When full of Pence, I was expensive,
  And now I've none, I'm always pensive.

_Underwritten._

  Then be at no Expence
  And you'll have no Suspence.

    _W. T._


_Dean's Yard, Westminster, in Charcoal, on a Wall, a Verse to be read
upwards or downwards or arsey-versey the same._

  S A T O R
  A R E P O
  T E N E T
  O P E R A
  R O T A S


_Maidenhead, in a Window._

      _In a Window, In a Window,
  I saw a Cat lick her Ear in a Window._

    Nay, Sir, ---- she cry'd, I'll swear I won't.
    I vow I never yet have don't!
    Lord! Pray, Sir, do not press me so;
    I'll call for all the Folks below.
    Good Lord! what is't? You're very rude;
    And then she acted like a Prude.
  And then,
          Like Birds of a Feather,
          They flock'd together.

              _S. T._


_Rebuses on Drinking-Glasses, at a private Club of Gentlemen._

_Miss Wall-sing-ham._

  What encloses a Plat, as I wish her dear Arms
  Had my Body encompass'd, with Nightingale's Charms,
  And the Leg of an Hog, gives my dearest her Name.
  Her Beauties so great set my Heart on a Flame.


_Rebus on Miss Nick-ells._

  Take the Devil's short Name,
    And much more than a Yard,
  You've the Name of the Dame
    I shall ever regard.


_Rebus on Miss S. Bell._

  The greatest Noise on Sundays made,
  Tells us her Name in Masquerade,
  Whom I must kiss, ---- or be a _Shade_.


_Rebus for Miss M. Cotton._

  One of the softest Things in Nature,
  Beareth the Name of my dear Creature.


_Rebus on Miss Anne Oliv-er._

  A Pickle of excellent Growth,                   }
  And to *_Sin_ against the Truth,                }
  Tells the Name of a Virgin of Beauty and Youth. }

    * i.e. _To Err_.


_Rebus on Miss Par-sons._

  A famous Old Man of Old Time,            }
  And his Children, the Males of his Line, }
  Give the Name of my Beauty Divine.       }


_Rebus on Miss Har-ring-ton._

  The Pleasure of the Sportsman's Chase;
  The Pledge in Matrimonial Case,
  With Twenty Hundred Weight beside,
  Name her I wish to make my Bride.


_At Epsom on a Window._

    When my brisk Lass
    Upon the Grass,
  Will sport, and _Give_ her Love;
    She'll wink and pink,
    Till she can't think;
  That's Happiness, by _Jove!_

    _Per Jovem Juro._
      J. M.


_The following is in a _Caberet_ Window at _Paris_, to be read forwards
and backwards the same._

  Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor.

_Underwritten._

  Le Diable t'emporte.

  _The Three Last Words, the Criticks tell us, spells in English,
  _The Devil take you_._


_At the same Place._

  _Chagrin come le Diable:_
  For a Girl has spoil't my _Bauble_.


_A Heathen Greek Line from a Wall at Westminster._

  _Souldramaton, Acapon, Alphagoose, Pastiveneson._

    _In English._

  Shoulder of Mutton, a Capon, half a Goose, Pasty of Venison.


_In Dog-Latin at the same Place._

  _O mirum Fartum,
  Perigrinum Gooseberrytartum._

_N.B._ _Fartum_ is the only _Latin_ Word for Pudding: And as far
as I can trace it amongst the Antients, there is no _Latin_ for a
Gooseberry-Tart; so that the Lad who writ it, had no need to Apologize
for making a Word or two: As for _Fartum_, 'tis allow'd in our Times;
for we say _Fartum pistum_, is a _baked Pudding_; and _Fartum coctum_ is
a _boiled Pudding_: And if the Boy loved these Things, what is it to us;
let every one mind his own Business.


_Brentford at the Red-Lion, the Great Room._

  Says Sir _John_ to my Lady, as together they sat,
  Shall we first go to Supper, or do you know what?
  Dear Sir _John_, (with a Smile,) return'd the good Lady,
  Let us do you know what, for Supper's not ready.


_Bridgnorth, at the Crown._

  _Jenny_ had got a Cl - p,
  Which was my Mishap:
  But Doctor _R----_ set me right,
  And I'm now in good Plight.

    January 30. 1720. J. W.


_At the Swan at Chelsea, in one of the Summer-Houses; supposed to be
written by One who lost his Estate in the South-Sea Year._

  Damn the Joke
  Of all the Folk:
  I've lost my Estate;
  And all Men I hate:
  I shall look through a Grate,
  For I see 'tis my Fate.
              The Devil take the Bubbles,
              I'm in a Pack of Troubles,

    S. B. 1721.

_Under this is wrote,_

    Happy's the Man
    That well could scan,
  Which way his Fortune led him:
    I have got what he lost,
    I am gay while he's cross'd,
  So adieu to good Mr. _B----n_.

            Ha! ha! ha! 1722.


_Upon a Clock in Tavistock-Street, Covent-Garden, 1712._

    I have no Legs,
  And yet I go and stand:
    And when I stand, I lie;
  Witness my Hand;

    _Mentiri non est meum._


_From a Window at Spring-Gardens, Vaux-Hall._

  Exil'd from _London_, happy could I live,
  Were this my Paradise, and this my _Eve_.


_At the Cardinal's-Cap at Windsor._

_Michael Hunt's Health._

      Here's a Health to _Mich. Hunt_,
    And to _Mich. Hunt_'s Breeches;
      And why may not I scratch _Mich. Hunt_,
    When _Mich. Hunt_ itches.

  The Clock goes as swift as the Hours that fly,
  When together in Bed are my _Chloe_ and I:
  But when she is gone, I bemoan my hard Fate,
  It is Millions of Years till she knocks at my Gate.

_Underwritten._

D--n the Clock for its Inconstancy; to give me Moments and Ages in the
same Time! O my _Chloe_!

    R. W. 1720.


_From a Window in Chancery-Lane._

  Here did I lay my _Celia_ down;
  I got the P - x, and she got half a Crown.

    W. T. 1719.

_Underwritten._

Give and take; Weight for Inches.

    S. R.


_From a Bog-House at Hampton-Court, supposed to be written by a violent
Lover._

    Oh! that I were a T - - - d, a T - - - d,
  Hid in this secret Place,
    That I might see my _Betsy_'s A----,
  Though she sh - - t me in my Face.

    R. M. 1703.

_Written under this in a Woman's Hand._

  'Tis Pity but you had your Wish.

    E. W.


_Nottingham, at the Castle: _Jack N----_ cured._

  The Five and twentieth Day of _July_,
  When _Jack_ with Liquor grew unruly,
  In comes Sir _Richard_ with a Quart,
  And drank him till he broke his Heart;
      So down dropp'd _Jack_
      Upon his Back,
      And lay,
      Till Day,
      And went away.

    R. C. July 26. 1716.


_Catherine-Wheel, High-Wickham, upon a Window._

  _Salley_'s my Toast from Head to Tail;
  Not half so good is Toast and Ale.

    _J. S._ Esq; of _Oriel-College, Oxon._


_Three-Pigeons, Brentford, in a Window._

  How vain the Hopes of Woman's Love,
  While all their Hearts inconstant prove;
  Nor _M - - - - k_, nor will _Dolly_ come;
  Nor _Sukey_ with her thumping B--m;
  Nor _Molly_ with her flaring Eyes;
  Nor _Nancy_ with her bouncing Thighs:
  If one don't come, my Curse is this,
  That they may never sh - - t nor p - - ss.

    Six in the Morning, R. R. of _Oxford_.


_Three-Pigeons, Brentford, upon a Drinking-Glass._

  Dear charming lovely _Nancy L-- --r_,
  Thou art my only Toast, I swear.

    T. T. from _Coventry_, _Feb._ 13. 1716.


_On another at the same Place._

  My dearest _Sukey Percivall_,
  Is all my Toast, and that is all.

    Captain _F----l_, _July_ 4. 1716.


_Red-Lion, at Southwell, in a Window._

  _Clarinda_ lay here
  With a young Cavalier;
  With her Heart full of Fear,
  For her Husband was near.

    L. L. _Feb._ 2. 1728.

_Written under._

  'Tis very true; for we saw _Rem-in-Re_ through the
  Key-Hole.
    S. M. }
    J. M. } _Feb._ 3. 1728.
    R. H, }

_Written under._

  If the Husband had come,
  And had seen his Wife's B - - m,
  He'd a known by her Looks,
  She'd been playing ----
  At Hoy Gammer Cooks.

    S. B. _March_ 3. 1728.


_Windsor, the White-Hart, in a Window._

  Now is my latest Guinea chang'd,
  And gone where it was used to range:
  When that was broke, it broke my Heart;
  For now for ever we must part,
  Unless I boldly meet it on the Road,
  And bid the Porter give it me, by G - d.
                    And so I'll do;
                      _Tom. Stout_
                      Will see it out, _Feb._ 2.

_Underwritten._

  Win it and take it, says Captain _Hector_: I defy the bold Robber;
  and I have an hundred Guineas that I shall travel with to-morrow.

    _Feb._ 16.


_At the Cardinal's-Cap In Windsor, on a Window._

  _J. F._ is fifteen, and so charming her Mien,         }
  Her Eyes are like Brilliants, her Looks are serene,   }
  And one Kiss from her Lips is worth ten from a Queen. }

    _Tom. Fool_, 1726.


_At the same Place, on the Wall._

  Never had Mortal greater Wit
  Than I who ever wanted it;
  But now my Wants have made me scrawl,
  And rhyme and write the Devil and all.

    _J. Forbes_, 1720.


_On a Summer-House near Farnham in Surrey._

  I,  C,  U,  B
  Y Y for me.

    J. S.

_The Reading of it is supposed to be, _viz.__

  I see you be
  Too wise for me.


_Star-Inn, Coventry._

  Tell me where is Fancy bred?  }
  In the Heart, or in the Head? }
  How begot, how nourished?     }


_ANSWER_,

  Had not _Celia_ come this Way,
  My Heart would be my own this Day,
  Fancy's engendered in the Eyes,
  With gazing fed; and Fancy dies
  In the same Cradle where it lies;
  For she's a Wh-re, and I despise.

    _R. L. 1710._


_At the Leg-Tavern, Fleet-Street. We suppose an Attempt to put the Lives
of Adam and Eve, and their Sons, into Verse._

  Mr. _Adam_ he was, the first Man alive,
  And he married a fine young Gentlewoman, call'd Mrs. _Eve_.
  And Mr. _Adam_ and Mrs. _Eve_, between them twain
  Got a pretty little Boy, called Master _Cain_.


_At the Catherine-Wheel at Henley._

_CLELIA's Epitaph, who was slander'd to Death._

  Death, to vindicate her Wrongs,
  Gives her Fame which never dies;
  So the Life that died with Shame,
  Lives in Death with glorious Fame.

    _R. S._ _Oct. 17. 1708_.


_At the same Place._

  Three Bottles of _Burgundy_, and a brisk Lass,
  With a thousand of _Grigs_, should it e'er come to pass,
  Would make me behave my self just like an Ass.

    _L. M._ of _Oxon_, 1709.


_From the Temple Bog-House._

  No Hero looks so fierce in Fight,
  As does the Man who strains to sh-te.


_From the Crown at Basingstoke, which was, in Ben Johnson's Time, the
Sign of the Angel, and then inhabited by Mrs. Hope, and her Daughter
Prudence. As Tradition informs us, Ben Johnson was acquainted with the
House; and in some Time, when he found strange People there, and the
Sign changed, he wrote the following Lines._

  When _Hope_ and _Prudence_ kept this House,
  The _Angel_ kept the Door;
    Now _Hope_ is dead,
    And the _Angel_ fled,
  And _Prudence_ turn'd a Whore.


_From the Bear at Oxford, by a Gentleman who had been affronted at the
Angel._

  They are all Bears at the _Angel_,
  And all Angels at the _Bear_.

  N.B. _There are very pretty Girls at the _Bear_._

    1710. _N. R._


_In a Boghouse at Richmond._

  To preserve our good Health,
    Let us let a good F - - - t;
  It is better than Wealth,
    It will comfort your Heart:
  And when you have done,
  With the Crack of your B - - m,
      Bend your Knees,
      And then squeeze,
  And something will come,
  You'll be better, tho' it's not so big as your Thumb.

    _G. S._ 1716.


_Crown at Basingstoke._

  Says _Nan B----ch_ to Sir _John_, you're a scandalous Villain;
  D'ye think I would do what I did for a Shilling?
  In good Truth, says Sir _John_, when I find a Girl willing.
  Let her take what she finds, and give Willing for Willing.
  But if you insist upon Money for that,           }
  I need not speak plainer, you know what is what, }
  I shall always look on you as a money-wise Cat.  }

    _I. E._ _July_ 17. 1713.


_Beaconsfield in a Window. I forgot the Sign._

  Blow me a Kiss, says a Nymph to her Swain,
  And when I have got it, I'll give it again.
  The Swain had been working, as sometimes Men do,
  Till he'd hardly got Breath for to buckle his Shoe;
  But turning around, he let a great F - - - t,
  And blow'd her a Kiss _according to Art_.

    _B. R._ 1715.


_At the Swan at Chelsea, in a Summer-House Window._

  _Jenny_ demure, with prudish Looks,
  Turns up her Eyes, and rails at naughty Folks;
  But in a private Room, turns up her lech'rous Tail,
  And kisses till she's in for Cakes and Ale.

    _L. M._ _July_ 17. 1727.


_Mitre, Hampton,_ 1708.

  _Celia_, the Joy of all my Parts,
  I kiss'd, and broke ten thousand Hearts:
  There's ne'er a Man the Girl will see,
  But dearest, dearest, dearest me.

                _I. H._ Esq; I can boast,
  The greatest Conquest o'er the greatest Toast.


_Underwritten._

  Proud Puppy, who pretend'st to find, }
  A Woman with a constant Mind,        }
  Surely denotes that Love is blind.   }
    For I have kiss'd her myself,
    Or else I'm an Elf,

    _R. C. Fellow-Commoner, Oxon._


_Spinham-Land; in a Window._

  Sir _John_ at this Place      }
  Kiss'd her Grace,             }
  Which he proved Face to Face. }

    _C. W._ _April_ 14. 1710.


_Underwritten._

  While this was a-doing,
  Her Maid I was wooing:
  She did like her Lady,
  But made me a Daddy.

    _J. W._ _April_ 12. 1711.


_Hampton-Court, at the Mitre, 1718._

  How have I strove to gain the Fair?  }
  And yet how little does she care?    }
  But leaves me starving with Despair. }
  'Tis now full Eight, I fear her Spouse
  Has given her a Rendezvous.

_Those five Lines were crossed out; but then follows:_

  D - - - mn the first Lines, they are not mine,
  T'abuse a Lady so divine;
  Altho' I waited for her Hours,
  I have enjoy'd her lovely Powers,
  Her Wit, her Beauty, and her Sense,
  Have fully made me Recompence.

    Captain _R. T._ _July_ 10. 1710.


_Underwritten._

  Friend Captain T,
  If thou can'st C,
  Mind what I have to say to thee,
  Thy Strumpet Wh--re abominable,
  Which thou didst kiss upon a Table,
  Has made thy manly Parts unable.

    _Farewel, &c. Z. B._


_Toy, at Hampton-Court_, 1708.

  D - - - n _Molley H----ns_ for her Pride,
  She'll suffer none but Lords to ride:
  But why the Devil should I care,
  Since I can find another Mare?

    _L. M. August._


_Star-Inn at Coventry, in a Window._

_Letter to _Will S - - - rs_, Esq;_

  Dear _Will_,
  I ever will
  Be at your will,
  Whene'er you will,
  And where you will;
  So that your Will
  Be Good-Will,
  I never will
  Dispute your Will;
  But give you Will
  For Will.

  At this Time,
  At all Times,
  Or any Time,
  But such Times
  As bad Times:
  For Lemon Thyme,
  Or Common Time,
  Or Tripple Time,
  Are not Times
  Like your Times
  And my Times
  For Pastimes.
  Then betimes
  Suit your Time
  To my Time;
  Or my Time
  Is lost Time.

    I wish you well,
  And hope you're well,
  As I am well;
  So all's well
  That ends well;
  Then farewell.

    _R. B. April_ 17. 1714.


_Star at Coventry, on a Window._

  Drunk at _Comb-Abbey_, horrid drunk;
  Hither I came, and met my fav'rite Punk.
  But she as well might have embrac'd a Log,  }
  All Night I snor'd, and grunted like a Hog, }
  Then was not I a sad confounded Dog!        }

    _R. H._


  I'll never get drunk again,
  For my Head's full of Pain,
    And it grieves me to think,
    That by Dint of good Drink,
  I should lie with my _Phillis_ in vain.

    _R. H._ 1712.


_Salisbury, the King's Arms, on the Wall._

  Here was a 'Pothecary's Wife,
  Who never lov'd her Spouse in all her Life;
  And for want of his Handle,
  Made use of a Candle:
              ---- Light as a Feather,
              To bring Things together.

    _S. C._ 1710.

_Underwritten._

  Thou Fool, 'twas done for want of Sense,
  I tickl'd her Concupiscence:
            And that is enough to save her Credit.

    _S. B._ 1712.

_Under this is wrote._

    From the Story above,
    The Girls that love,
  Have learn'd the Use of Candles;
    And since that, by _Jove_,
    And the God of Love,
  We have lost the Use of Handles.

    _W. S----pe_, _Feb._ 2. 1714.


_Stockbridge, at the Kings-Head._

  _Salley Stukely_ is the prettiest Girl in _England_,
  I wish I was to play a Game with her single-hand.

    _R. S._


_Windsor, at the Cardinal's-Cap._

  Now my Sun is retired,
  My Heart is all fired;
  My _Sylvia_'s lost
  And I am toss'd,
  Into Love's Flames,
  What shall I do to gain her?
  Sure something must restrain her,
      Or else she'd come.
      Then I'm undone.
      Help me, dear _Cupid_,
      Or I shall grow stupid;
      And if you won't help me,
      Then _Bacchus_ protect me.

    _R. M._ 1709.


_Greyhound, at Maidenhead._

  Dear _Doll_ is a Prude,
    And I tumbled her down;
  And I tickled her Fancy
    For half a Crown.

    _R. M----r_, _July_ 17. 1714.


_At the Same Place._

_CHLOE's Character._

  Her Voice is as clear as the Stream;
  Her Character light as the Sun;
  Her Dealings are hard as a Stone;
  But her Promise as sure as a Gun.

    _A. P - - pe_, 1712.


_At the same Place._

  A Hog, a Monkey, and an Ass,           }
  Were here last Night to drink a Glass, }
  When all at length it came to pass,    }
    That the Hog and the Monkey,
    Grew so drunkey,
  That both were ready to kiss the A - - se
    of _Tom. Dingle_.

    _April_ 17. 1710.


_At the White-Hart, Windsor._

  How, do I fear my Lover will not come;
  And yet I bid him not: But should he come,
  Then let him read ----

  Let _Man - - r - - ing_ love on, I will requite thee,
    Taming my wild Heart to thy loving Hand.
  If thou dost love, my Kindness shall incite thee,
    To bind our Loves up in a holy Band.

    _Anne Oph - - - lia_, 1708.


_Salisbury, at the King's-Arms; seemingly to give the Reason why Miles
seem shorter in one Place than another._

  When I set out from _London_, I tramp'd on the Way, }
  I was brisk, and my Courage and Heart was full gay; }
  So I fancy'd my Journey was nothing but Play,       }
  But as I went forward, a Day or two longer,               }
  The Miles seem'd more lengthen'd as I grew less stronger, }
  And I wish'd in this Case to grow younger and younger.    }

    _S. O._ _Oct._ 17. 1717.

  I walk'd all the Way between _London_ and _Exeter_.


_At the Crown at Harlow._

  When Daizies gay, and Violets blue,
  And Cowslips with their yellow Hue,
  And Lady's Smocks of Silver white,
  Paint all the Meadows with Delight,
  Then shall I meet my charming Fair,
  On ouzy Banks to take the Air;
  There shall we taste delicious Love,
  Equal to what is known Above.

    _R. T. April_ 14. 1716.


_Upon a Window at the Old Crown at Ware in Hertfordshire; supposed to be
wrote by a slighted Lover._

    Go you false and faithless Fair,
  Gods above forbid my Fate,
    First me Joys you do prepare,
  Then you Sorrows do create;
  For 'tis the Nature of your Sex,
  First to pleasure, then perplex,
    Happy's he without your Smiles.
  Ever-blest he lives content;
    In exorbitant Exiles,
  Never can his Fate repent;
  All his Wishes and Desires,
  To destroy Love's burning Fires.

    _R. C. June_ 14. 1731.


_At the Crown at Epping._

Tom. Rudge _won the Hat from_ George Redman.

    _April_ 17. 1714.

  He lifted with such Might and Strength,
  As would have hurl'd him twice his Length,
  And dash'd his Brains (if any) out:
  But _Mars_ that still protects the stout,
  In Pudding-Time came to his Aid.

    Well done _Tom_; and _George_ was a clever
      Fellow too.    _C. H._ 1714.


_Sent to the Compiler from a Drinking-Glass at Pontack's-Head Tavern in
Fleet-Street._

  Might all my Wishes but propitious prove,
  And all my Wants supply'd by mighty _Jove_;
  Give me dear _W----rs_, and I'll ask no more,
  But think her dearer than the golden Shower.

    _C. M._


_Sent to the Compiler from the same._

_From the Bog-House at Pancras-Wells._

  Hither I came in haste to sh-t,
  But found such Excrements of Wit,
  That I to shew my Skill in Verse,
  Had scarcely Time to wipe my A - - se.

_Underwritten._

  D----n your Writing,
  Mind your Sh-t-ng.


_On a Wainscoat, at the Crown at Harlow._

  Whilst Lady _Mary_ slept at Ease,
  Secure from Jealousy and Fleas,
  Her Lord with vig'rous Love inclin'd,
  To kiss her Maid, and ease his Mind:
  The Maiden did not long resist,
  But gently yielded to be kist;
  And in the Dance of Lovers move,
  With sprightly Bounds to shew her Love.
  When in the Height of am'rous Fire,
  She cry'd, my Lord, I've one Desire,
  Tell me, my Peer, tell me, my Lord,
  Tell me, my Life, upon your Word,
  Who does it best, my Dame or me?
  And then she fell in Extasy.
  My Lord in Fire of his Love,
  Call'd her his Minion, Turtle Dove;
  You have the only Art to please,
  All this he swore upon his Knees:
  Your Dame is like a Log of Wood,
  Her Love is never half so good.
  My Lord, says she, all that I know;
  For all the World has told me so.

    _S----d----rs_, _April_, 1717.


_In a Barber's Shop._

  _Will._ ---- always fights with his Cunning,
  Whilst one Foot stands still, th'other is running.


_At the Sugar-Loaf in Bell-Yard, Temple-Bar._

  If _Venus_, or if _Bacchus_, be my Boast,
  _Claret_'s my Liquor, and Miss C---- my Toast,


_Upon all the Windows of Note on the Roads._

  If one Stone splits the most obdurate Glass,
  Why needs there two to split a pretty L--ss.

_Underwritten._

  Thou Fool, I say, you never yet did know,
  A L--ss was split without the Use of two.

    _R. F._

_Underwritten._

  Nor that neither.

    _M. L._


_From a Bog-House at Hampstead._

  Hard Stools proceed from costive Claret;
  Yet mortal Man cannot forbear it.
  So Childbed-Women, full of Pain,
  Will grunt and groan, and to't again.


_At Hampstead, in a Window._

  Gammer _Sprigins_ had gotten a Maidenhead,
  And for a Gold Guinea she brought it to Bed;
  But I found by embracing that I was undone;
  'Twas a d - - - n'd p-ck-y Wh--re, just come from _London_.

    _R. L._ 1710.


_A strange Thing written upon a Glass Window in Queen Elizabeth's Time._

  I, C, S, X, O, Q, P, U.

  This must be left to the Decypherers.


_Pancras Bog-House._

  If Smell of T----d makes Wit to flow,
  Laud! what would eating of it do.


_From the Temple Bog-House._

  If you design to sh--te at Ease,
  Pray rest your Hands upon your Knees.
  And only give a gentle squeeze.


  _FINIS._



_N.B._ A Third Part of this Work being in the Press, we intreat our kind
Correspondents would be speedy in sending their Letters to J. ROBERTS.


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Errata:

Editor's Introduction (modern):

  they are just as likely as their brethren
    _text reads "brethern"_
  [Footnote 12: ... graffiti printed in _The Merry-Thought_ ...]
    _text reads "Marry-Thought"_

Primary Text:

  Title Page

  Bethleham-Wall, Moor-Fields.
    _spelling unchanged_

  Dedication

  what sublime Thoughts you may chance to meet with
    _text reads "my chance"_

  Body Text

  Beareth the Name of my dear Creature.
    _text reads "Beareththe" without space_
  supposed to be written by a violent Lover
    _text reads "writeen"
  Nor _M - - - - k_, nor will _Dolly_ come;
    _last letter in "M--k" unclear_
  _I. E._ _July_ 17. 1713.
    _numeral "3" unclear_





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