Home
  By Author [ A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z |  Other Symbols ]
  By Title [ A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z |  Other Symbols ]
  By Language
all Classics books content using ISYS

Download this book: [ ASCII | HTML | PDF ]

Look for this book on Amazon


We have new books nearly every day.
If you would like a news letter once a week or once a month
fill out this form and we will give you a summary of the books for that week or month by email.

´╗┐Title: The Autobiography of a Monkey
Author: Paine, Albert Bigelow, 1861-1937
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "The Autobiography of a Monkey" ***

This book is indexed by ISYS Web Indexing system to allow the reader find any word or number within the document.



THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A MONKEY

[Illustration]

FOUND AND PICTURED BY HY. MAYER

VERSES BY ALBERT BIGELOW PAINE

[Illustration]

NEW YORK R. H. RUSSELL

MDCCCXCVII


  Copyright 1897
  BY
  ROBERT HOWARD RUSSELL



[Illustration]

PART FIRST.

THE DEPARTURE FROM THE FOREST.


    Where the light laughs in through the tree-tops
      And sports with the tangled glade,
    In the depths of an Afric forest
      My earliest scenes were laid.

[Illustration]

    In a bower that was merry with smilax
      From the grimace of no-where, I woke
    I was born on the first day of April
      And they called me a jungle joke.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    And the voices of birds were about me--
      And the beat and the flutter of wing;
    While morning returned at the trumpet
      Of Tusky, our elephant king.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    My nurse was a crooning old beldame
      Who gazed in the palms of my hands
    And vowed I was destined to travel
      In many and marvellous lands.

[Illustration]

    But little I heeded her croaking,
      For I gamboled the whole day long,
    And swung by my tail from the tree-top,

[Illustration]

[Illustration]



[Illustration]

THE SONG OF THE JUNGLE.


    _The Elephant:_

        Oh, I am the lord of the forest and plain!

    _The Lion, Tigers, etc.:_

        And we are the beasts that acknowledge your reign!

    _The Birds:_

        And we are the minstrels that come at your call!

    _The Monkeys:_

        And we are the jesters that laugh at you all!

[Illustration]

    _Chorus, All--_

    _Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!_
      _The tribes of the jungle are we--_
    _Our home is the darksome wilderness_
      _That never a man shall see._

    _The Elephant:_

        Oh, the jungle was meant and was made for my will!

    _The Lions, Tigers, etc.:_

        For the sport of the chase and the zest of the kill!

    _The Birds:_

        For the beating of wings and the echo of song!

    _The Monkeys:_

        For gambol and grimace the whole season long!

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    _Chorus, All:_

    _Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Oh, yes!_
      _For all of the tribes that be_
    _With homes in the tangled wilderness_
      _That never a man shall see._

[Illustration]

    But, alas, for the boasts of the jungle!
      The men came among us one day,
    And one with a box that made music
      Enticed foolish monkeys away.

    The birds and the beasts of the forest
      Were mute at the marvellous song,
    But the monkeys crept out of the tree-tops--
      An eager and wondering throng.

[Illustration]

    The birds and the beasts of the forest
      Kept hidden and silent that day,
    But the monkey-folk formed a procession
      And followed the minstrel away.

    And thus did we give up the forest
      To dwell with our brothers, the men--
    Farewell to the beautiful jungle!
      'Twas long ere I saw it again!

[Illustration]

[Illustration]



[Illustration]

PART SECOND.

THE WAYS OF MEN.


    Then away to a far distant country
      On a drift that they said was a ship,
    And I studied the ways of my master
      And profited much by the trip.

    And we sailed to his home in fair Naples,
      Where I studied the language of men,
    And I sat on a bench with his children,
      But soon we went sailing again.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    And I made some nice friends on the voyage,
      And engaged in a pretty romance.
    I charmed all the ladies by climbing,
      And one of them taught me to dance.

[Illustration]

    Yet often I longed for the jungle--
      Its song and the rustle of wing--
    And sometimes at night in my slumber
      I talked with our elephant king.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    One morning my master awoke me,
      And, dressed in a gaudy new suit,
    I beheld the New World in the sunlight,
      And lifted my hat in salute.

    And then began troubles and trials--
      Through the streets by a string I was led;
    Toiling hard all the day for my master,
      Yet oft going hungry to bed.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    But he sold me at last to a circus
      And my lot became easier then,
    So I gave many moments of leisure
      To acquiring the habits of men.

    I copied their manners and customs
      I made of each fashion a note;
    And the children admired my performance
      And the ladies the cut of my coat.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    By and by I was sold to a banker
      Who was charmed with my ball-rolling feat,
    And arrayed in a Fauntleroy costume
      I passed all my time on the street.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    But alas for my plans of the future!
      He died without leaving a cent,
    And I had to go out to hard labor
      To pay for my victuals and rent;

    Till I met with a gentleman's valet
      Who was like me in manner and face,
    And I told him some stories that pleased him
      And bribed him to give me his place.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    Then I started to serve my new master--
      A bachelor cynic was he,
    Who quickly saw through the deception
      And made a proposal to me.

    Said he: "You're a monkey, you rascal,
      And an excellent type of the brood;
    Let's play a good joke on society
      By passing you off as a dude."

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    So he took me at first to his barber,
      Who shaved me and shortened my hair,
    And the last tangled trace of the jungle
      Was gone when I rose from his chair.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    And then to his tailor and hatter--
      His hosier and all of the rest,
    Till at night I was changed from a monkey
      To a chappie most stylishly dressed.

    And standing alone and reflecting
      I thought of the why and the how,
    And I wondered what Tusky was doing
      And what would the jungle say, now.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]



[Illustration]

PART THIRD.

THE BUTTERFLY WHIRL.

    It was then for the triumphs of conquest!
      Oh, then for the life of the swell!
    I dwelt like a lord with my patron
      In a suite of a gilded hotel.

    And we went out to plays and to dinners--
      On the ladies he took me to call--
    And once we received invitations
      To a beautiful fancy-dress ball.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    'Twas a famous affair and it won me,
      With its titter and tinsel and tune,
    For it carried me back to the jungle
      And the monkey-dance under the moon.

    Then I mingled with other diversions.
      I learned how to paint and to ride;
    I cut a great figure at polo--
      The science of golfing I tried.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    As a wheelman I soon became famous
      And made a great score on the track--
    I was known as the king of the scorchers,
      With the typical bicycle back.

    Then a girl who was youthful and silly
      Made love to me just for a lark,
    And came with an elegant turnout
      And took me to drive in the park.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    And I took her out boating next morning,
      For the face of my charmer was fair;
    It carried me back to the jungle--
      To the flow'rs that were blossoming there.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    But soon, in the midst of my pleasure,
      In the glow of a roseate dream,
    The boat struck a rock and tipped over
      And tumbled us both in the stream.

    Then, ho, for the skill of the jungle!
      The deftness of foot and of hand!
    For I hung from a limb and I saved her
      And drew her at last to the strand.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    And then to her home I went proudly
      To claim the fair maid for my own,
    But her father demanded a title,
      And hardened his heart like a stone.

    And now came the death of my patron,
      That left me alone in the strife,
    And yearning once more for the jungle,
      I turned to political life.

[Illustration]



PART FOURTH.

THE RETURN PATH.


    Then I studied a week to gain knowledge,
      And waded through volumes of stuff,
    And I found that the only requirements
      Were cunning and blarney and bluff.

    And these I had brought from the jungle--
      Inherited straight from my race--
    With a gift for political music
      And a truly political face.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    Thus feeling at home in my labors,
      My plan was successful, of course,
    And when they came round with appointments
      They gave me a job on "the force."

    And such was my skill as a roundsman,
      And talent in keeping the peace,
    That I rose in a year to be Captain,
      And then to be Chief of Police!

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    And then, as my years were advancing,
      So great was their honor and trust,
    That they twined me a chaplet of laurel
      And sculptured in marble my bust.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    Yet often I dreamed of the jungle--
      Its song and the rustle of wing--
    And sometimes still talked in my slumber
      With Tusky, our elephant king.

    When, lo, my political party,
      That now was in power and supreme,
    Conferred a most noble appointment
      That realized all of my dream.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    For they made me their African envoy,
      And soon I went sailing again,
    To meet my old playmates and tell them
      The ways and the customs of men.

    To calm the dusk native, and gather
      My people in sun-haunted nooks
    To tell them my story, and teach them
      The wisdom that cometh of books;

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

    The words and the ways of _their fathers_,
      And deliver my race from its ban,
    For man did not spring from the monkey,
      But monkey _descended from man!_

[Illustration]

[Illustration]





*** End of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "The Autobiography of a Monkey" ***

Doctrine Publishing Corporation provides digitized public domain materials.
Public domain books belong to the public and we are merely their custodians.
This effort is time consuming and expensive, so in order to keep providing
this resource, we have taken steps to prevent abuse by commercial parties,
including placing technical restrictions on automated querying.

We also ask that you:

+ Make non-commercial use of the files We designed Doctrine Publishing
Corporation's ISYS search for use by individuals, and we request that you
use these files for personal, non-commercial purposes.

+ Refrain from automated querying Do not send automated queries of any sort
to Doctrine Publishing's system: If you are conducting research on machine
translation, optical character recognition or other areas where access to a
large amount of text is helpful, please contact us. We encourage the use of
public domain materials for these purposes and may be able to help.

+ Keep it legal -  Whatever your use, remember that you are responsible for
ensuring that what you are doing is legal. Do not assume that just because
we believe a book is in the public domain for users in the United States,
that the work is also in the public domain for users in other countries.
Whether a book is still in copyright varies from country to country, and we
can't offer guidance on whether any specific use of any specific book is
allowed. Please do not assume that a book's appearance in Doctrine Publishing
ISYS search  means it can be used in any manner anywhere in the world.
Copyright infringement liability can be quite severe.

About ISYS® Search Software
Established in 1988, ISYS Search Software is a global supplier of enterprise
search solutions for business and government.  The company's award-winning
software suite offers a broad range of search, navigation and discovery
solutions for desktop search, intranet search, SharePoint search and embedded
search applications.  ISYS has been deployed by thousands of organizations
operating in a variety of industries, including government, legal, law
enforcement, financial services, healthcare and recruitment.



Home