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´╗┐Title: The Bachelor's Own Book - Being Twenty-Four Passages in the Life of Mr. Lambkin, (Gent.)
Author: Cruikshank, George, 1792-1878
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "The Bachelor's Own Book - Being Twenty-Four Passages in the Life of Mr. Lambkin, (Gent.)" ***

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Being Twenty-Four Passages In The Life Of Mr. Lambkin, (Gent,)

By George Cruikshank.


Carey & Hart, 126 Chesnut Street.



Mr. Lambkin having come into his property, enters the world upon
the very beat possible terms with himself, and makes his toilet to


Mr. Lambkin sallies forth in all the pride of power, with the secret and
amiable intention of killing a certain Lady. Some envious rival makes
known this deadly purpose, by means of a placard.


Mr. Lambkin with a snug Bachelor's party, enjoying his wine after a most
luxurious "whitebait dinner," at Blackwall, and talking about his high


Mr. Lambkin suddenly feels rather poorly, someting in the "whitebait
dinner," having disagreed with him; probably the "water souchy," or that
confounded melted butter, (could'nt possibly have been the wine.) His
friends endeavor to relieve him with little Drops of Brandy, and large
doses of Soda Water.


Mr. Lambkin, having _cut_ those Bachelor Parties, determines to seek
the refined pleasures of Ladies' society. He, with the lady of his
affections, joins a Pic-nic, endeavors to be exceedingly amusing, and
succeeds in making himself "Very ridiculous."


Mr. Lambkin, at an evening party, being full of Life and Spirits (or,
rather Wine,) gives great offence to the lady of his affections; by his
Philanderings, and completely ruins his fortunes by dancing the Polka
with such violence as to upset poor old John, the coffee, and indeed,
the whole party.


Mr. Lambkin, overwhelmed with shame and vexation, resorts to Kensington
Gardens in the hope of obtaining a meeting with the Lady of his
afflictions--He burns with Rage, Jealousy, and revenge, on seeing her
(in company with Miss Daah) holding sprightly converse with the Long
Cornet ------------ He feels himself literally _cut_.


After meditating desperate deeds of Duelling, Prussic Acid, Pistols,
and Plunges in the River, Mr. Lambkin cools down to a quiet supper, a
melancholy reverie, and a warm bath at the Hummums.--The morning sun
shines upon him at Epsom, where, with the assistance of his friends and
Champagne, he arrives at such a pitch of excitement, that he determines
to live and die a Bachelor.


Mr. Lambkin of course visits all the Theatres and all the Saloons; he
even makes his way to the Stage and the Green-room, and is so fortunate
as to be introduced to some highly talented members of the Corps de


Mr. Lambkin goes to a Masquerade as Don Giovanni, which character
he supports to perfection. He falls into the company of certain
Shepherdesses who shew the native simplicity of their Arcadian manners
by drinking porter out of quart pewter mugs. They are delighted with the
Don, who adds to the porter a quantity of Champagne, which they drink
with the same degree of easy elegance as they do the Beer.


Mr. Lambkin and his friends, after supper at "the rooms," indulge in
the usual nocturnal amusements of Gentlemen--the Police officiously
interfere with their pastime--Mr. Lambkin after evincing the noble
courage of a Lion, the strength of a Bull, the sagacity of a Fox, the
stubbornness of a Donkey, and the activity of a Mountain Cat, is at
length overcome by Policeman Smith, A. 1.


Mr. Lambkin and his friends eat a pretty figure in the morning before
the Magistrate--their conduct is described as violent and outrageous,
and their respectability is questioned--Mr. Lambkin and his friends
insist upon being Gentlemen, and are of course discharged upon payment
of 5s. each for being drunk--and making good the damage at the prices
usually charged to Gentlemen.


Mr. Lambkin makes some most delightful acquaintance.--'The Hon.
D. Swindelle and his delightful family, his Ma, such a delightful
lady!---and his Sisters, such delightful girls!!--Such delightful
musical parties,--such delightful soirees, and such delightful card
parties,--and what makes it all still more delightful is that they are
all so highly delighted with Mr. Lambkin.


Mr. Lambkin in a moment of delightful delirium puts his name to some
little bits of paper to oblige his very delightful friend the Hon.
D. Swindelle, whom he afterwards discovers to be nothing more than a
rascally Black, leg,--He is invited to visit some Chambers in one of the
small Inns of Court, where he finds himself completely at the mercy
of Messrs. Ogre and Nippers, whose demands make an awful hole in his


Mr. Lambkin, finding that he has been variously and thoroughly befooled,
foolishly dashes into dissipation to drown his distressful thoughts--He
joins Jovial society and sings "The right end of Life is to live and be


Mr. Lambkins's habits grow worse and worse!--At 3 o'clock a. m. he is
placed upright (very jolly) against his own door, by a kind hearted


Mr. Lambkin finds that he has been going rather too _fast_ in the
Pursuit of Pleasure and Amusement, and like all other Lads of Spirit
when he can go no farther comes to a standstill.------ Being really very
ill he sends for his Medical Friend who feels his pulse, shakes his head
at his tongue, and of course prescribes the proper remedies.


Mi, Lambkin has to be nursed and to go through a regular course
of medicine, taking many a bitter pill and requiring all the sweet
persuasive powers of Mrs. Slops to take his "regular doses" of "that
horrid nasty stuff."


Mr. Lambkin being tired of the old-fashioned regular practice, and being
so fortunate as to live in the days when the real properties of
Water are discovered, places himself under a Disciple of the immortal


Mr. Lambkin buys a regular hard-trotter, and combines the health,
restoring exercise of Riding with the very great advantages of Wet
Swaddling clothes.


Mr. Lambkin's confidence in the curative powers of Hydropathy being
very much damped, and being himself quite soaked through, in fact almost
washed away, he takes to the good old-fashioned practice of walking
early in the morning, and drinking "New Milk from the Cow."


Mr. Lambkin being quite recovered, with the aid of new milk and Sea
Breezes, he determines to reform his habits, but feels buried alive in the
Grand Mausoleum Club; and, contemplating an old bachelor member who
sits pouring over the newspapers all day, he feels horrorstruck at the
probability of such va fate becoming his own, and determines to seek a
reconciliation with the Lady of his Affections.


Mr. Lambkin writes a letter of humiliation--The Lady answers--He
seeks an interview.--It is granted.--He "hopes she'll forgive him this
time"--The Lady appears resolute--He earnestly entreats her to "make it
up"--At length the Lady softens--She lays aside her "_cruel_" work--ah!
She weeps! Silly little thing what does she cry for?--Mr. Lambkin is
forgiven! He skips for joy! Pa and Ma give their consent.


And now let Mr. Lambkin speak for himself.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, unaccustomed is I am... (Bravo)... return...
(Bravo) on the part of Miss... (oh! oh! ha! ha!) I beg pardon, I mean
Mrs. Lambkin (Bravo) and myself for the great... hum... ha... hum...
and kindness, (Bravo) In return hum... ha... pleasure to drink all your
healths (Bravo)--wishing you all the happiness this world can afford
(Bravo) I shall conclude in the words of our immortal bard--'may the
single be married and the (hear! hear! hear! Bravo) married happy.'"
Bravo! Bravo!! Bravo!!!

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