The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions

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Title: The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions
Author: Green, Walter Cox
Language: English
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*** Start of this LibraryBlog Digital Book "The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions" ***

THE BOOK OF GOOD MANNERS

A GUIDE TO POLITE USAGE
FOR ALL SOCIAL FUNCTIONS

W. C. GREEN

THE BOOK OF GOOD MANNERS is a complete and authentic authority
on every single phase of social usage as practiced in America. The author
has compiled the matter in dictionary form in order to give the reader the
desired information as briefly and clearly as possible, and with the least
possible effort in searching through the pages.

ACCEPTING OR DECLINING INVITATIONS. See INVITATIONS,
ACCEPTING OR DECLINING.

ACCIDENTS. See STREET ETIQUETTE--MEN--ACCIDENTS.

ADDRESS. The address of a person may be stamped
on the stationery.

If the address is stamped, it is not customary
to stamp also the crest or monogram.

ADDRESSING ENVELOPES.

MEN. A man should be addressed as Mr. James
J, Wilson, or James J. Wilson, Esq. Either
the Mr. or the Esq. may be used, but not
the two together.

The title belonging to a man should be
given. It is not customary to use Mr. or
Esq. when Jr. or Sr. is used.

WOMEN. A woman's name should always have
the Miss or Mrs.

A woman should never be given her husband's
official title, as Mrs. Judge Wilson.

If a woman has a title of her own, she
should be addressed as Dr. Minnie Wilson,
when the letter is a professional one. If
a social letter, this should be Miss Minnie
Wilson, or Mrs. Minnie Wilson.

ADDRESSING PERSONS. Young girls should be spoken
of as Minnie Wilson, and not as Miss Minnie,
but are personally addressed as Miss Minnie.
Only the greatest intimacy warrants a man
in addressing a young girl as Minnie.

Parents should introduce their daughter
as My daughter Minnie, but should speak
of them before servants as Miss Minnie.

A married woman should be spoken of as
Mrs. Agnes Wilson, and personally addressed
as Mrs. Wilson.

ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS. All answers to
invitations should be addressed to the party
issuing them.

Letters to a woman who is a comparative
stranger may begin My dear Mrs. Wilson,
and to a closer acquaintance Dear Mrs.
Wilson.

Letters to a man who is a comparative
stranger may begin My dear Mr. Wilson,
and to a closer acquaintance Dear Mr.
Wilson.

For forms of addressing persons with titles,
as Mayor, see under that title--as, Mayor,
Governor.

The letters may end, Sincerely yours, or
Very truly yours, or I remain yours with
kindest regards.

The signature of a man should be John J.
Wilson or J. Jones Wilson.

An unmarried woman should sign social
letters as Minnie Wilson, and a business letter
as Miss Minnie Wilson. A married woman
should sign a social letter as Agnes Wilson.
In signing a business letter, a married woman
may either sign her name Mrs. Agnes Wilson,
or, preferably,

Agnes Wilson
(Mrs. John Wilson)

AFTERNOON CALLS. These should be made between
three and half-past five, and if possible on
regular at home days.

In making an afternoon call a man should
wear the regulation afternoon dress.

DRESS--MEN. Afternoon dress consists of a
double-breasted frock coat of dark material,
and waistcoat, either single or double-
breasted, of same, or of some fancy material
of late design. The trousers should be of
light color, avoiding of course extremes in
patterns.

White or delicate color linen shirts should
be worn, patent leather shoes, silk hat and
undressed kid gloves of dark color.

Afternoon dress is worn at weddings, afternoon
teas, receptions, garden parties, luncheons,
church funerals, and at all afternoon
functions.

See also EVENING DRESS--MEN. MORNING
DRESS--MEN.

AFTERNOON RECEPTIONS. See AFTERNOON TEAS.
GIVEN BY BACHELORS, See BACHELORS' TEAS.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL). These are very successful
as a rule, due perhaps to their small expense
and few exactions, and are given with
many purposes: to introduce young women
into society, to allow a hostess to entertain a
number of her friends, to honor some woman
of note, etc.

A formal afternoon tea is one for which
cards have been issued, naming set date.

Awnings and carpet should be provided
from curb to house. A man should be stationed
at the curb to open carriage doors and
call them when the guests leave, and another
African Teas man should be in attendance at the
front door to open it the moment a guest appears
at the top step and to direct him to the dressing-room.

A policeman should be detailed for the occasion
to keep back the onlookers, and should
receive a small fee for his services.

At the door of the drawing-room a man
should ask the name of each guest, which he
announces as the latter enters. The hostess
and those receiving with her should be just
within the door to receive the guests.

CARDS. Each guest should leave a card in the
tray in the hall.

A woman may leave the cards of the men
of her family who have been unable to attend.

Cards should be sent by mail or messenger
by those invited but unable to be present, and
should be timed so that they reach the house
during the function.

A husband and wife each send a card when
the invitation is issued in the name of the
hostess only, and two cards each when issued
in the name of hostess and her daughter. If
issued in the name of both husband and
wife, a husband should send two and his wife
should send one card.

DAUGHTERS. The daughters who have passed
the debutante age usually stand for an hour
beside their mother to receive the guests,
and afterward mingle with the guests to help
to make the function a success.

DEBUTANTE. When a tea is given in honor of
a debutante, she stands beside the hostess
(usually her mother), and each guest is introduced
to her. Flowers should be liberally
provided, and friends may contribute on such
an occasion.

The host and the men all wear the regulation
afternoon dress.

Women wear costumes appropriate to the
afternoon, more elegant in proportion to the
elaborateness of the function.

Guests may suit their convenience in
arriving, provided they do not come at the
opening hour nor at the very end.

After leaving their wraps in the dressing-
rooms, guests enter the drawing-room, leaving
their cards in the tray in the hall, and
then giving their names to the man at the
door, who announces them.

On entering the room, the women precede
the men.

After greeting the hostess and being introduced
to those receiving with her, the guests
move into the middle of the room.

Guests go the dining-room when they
wish without greeting the hostess.

It is not expected that guests at a large reception
will stay all the afternoon. Twenty
minutes is long enough. It is not necessary
to bid the hostess good-bye when leaving.
If guests take leave of host and hostess,
they should shake hands.

In the dining-room the men, assisted by
the waiters, help the women.

When the reception is a small formal one,
the guests may stay a longer time, and usually
it is better to take leave of the hostess,
unless she is much occupied at the time.

HOST. Except when a newly married couple
give a house-warming or a reception, the host
does not stand beside his wife, but spends
the time in making introductions, and doing
his best to make the function a success.

When some married woman or woman
guest of honor assists his wife to receive, he
should at the proper moment escort her to
the dining-room.

HOSTESS. The hostess and those receiving with
her should be just within the door, ready to
receive each guest as announced.

The hostess shakes hands with each guest,
and introduces them to those receiving with
her.

Friends assisting a hostess to entertain are
generally permitted to invite a few of their
own friends, and their cards are sent with
those of the hostess. A pretty feature is the
presence of a number of young women here
and there in the rooms to assist in receiving
the guests. Music is always appropriate.

HOURS. The hours are from 4 to 7 P.M.

INTRODUCTIONS. The hostess should introduce
her guests to those receiving with her.
See also INTRODUCTION.

INVITATIONS. Engraved invitations are sent a
week or ten days in advance, by mail or messenger.

They are usually issued in the name of the
hostess only, though they may be issued in
the name of both husband and wife.

In place of the visiting-card, an "At
Home" card may be used, or cards specially
engraved for the purpose.

When cards are sent to a married couple,
the cards are addressed to both husband and
wife.

Invitations are sent in two envelopes-the
inner one unsealed and bearing the name of
the guest, and the outer one sealed, with, the
street address.

INVITATIONS, ANSWERING. It is not necessary
to accept or decline these invitations, as the
guest accepts by his presence. If unable to
do so, he should send by mail or messenger
a visiting-card, to reach the hostess during
the ceremony.

When the invitation has been issued in the
name of the hostess only, a husband and wife
each send a card, and if in the name of hostess
and her daughter, each should send two
cards. If the invitation has been issued in
the name of the husband and wife, the wife
should send one and a husband two cards.

If the woman in the family is the only one
present at the function, she can leave cards
for the rest of the family.

MEN. Both the host and men wear the regulation
afternoon dress, consisting of the long
frock coat with single or double-breasted
waistcoat to match, or of some fancy cloth,
and gray trousers. White linen, a light tie,
a silk hat, gray gloves, and patent leather
shoes complete the costume.

The overcoat, hat, and cane are left in
the dressing-room, and the guest removes one
or both gloves as he pleases--remembering
that he must offer his ungloved right hand
to the hostess.

SHAKING HANDS. Guests on being presented to
the hostess should shake hands. If guest
takes leave of hostess, they should shake
hands. If the hostess is surrounded by
guests, a pleasant nod of farewell is admissible.

WOMEN. Women leave cards of their male relatives
as well as their own, even though their
names may be announced upon entering.
Guests leave their cards in a receptacle provided
for the purpose, or give them to the
servant at the door.

Women wear a costume appropriate for
the afternoon, and keep their hats and
gloves on.

AFTERNOON TEAS (INFORMAL). An afternoon tea is a
simple entertainment. Refreshments are
generally served to the guests. An innovation
lately introduced has become quite popular
--namely, young women, invited for
the purpose, wait upon the guests, bringing
in one dainty at a time.

An afternoon tea is called a formal afternoon
tea when engraved cards have been
issued, naming set date.

CARDS. Guests should leave cards in the hall, or
hand them to the servant. Women may
leave the cards of the men of her family.
Those unable to attend should send card the
same afternoon by mail or messenger.

See also DEBUTS.

DEBUTS. A debut may be made at a dinner,
reception, or ball. The debutante's card
should be enclosed with the invitation, reading:
Miss Wilson; or, if a younger daughter,
Miss Minnie Wilson. For an "At
Home" debut, the least formal of all these
entertainments, the name of the debutante is
engraved below that of her mother.

The mother and elder unmarried sisters
prior to the debut should call formally upon
those whom they wish to invite to the ceremony.
Cards of the family are left, including
those of father and brothers.

BALLS--INVITATIONS. When a young woman is
to be introduced into society by a ball given
in her honor, the parents may use a Mr. and
Mrs. calling card, with the words added in
writing: Dancing at ten o'clock, with card of
the debutante enclosed.

Or the parents may use a specially engraved
invitation.

CARDS, LEAVING. At the entertainments at a
debut, as at a supper, cards should be left for
the mother and daughter, and if guests are
unable to be present, they should send them
the day of the entertainment.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Debuts may be an "At
Home," supper, or dinner, the latter being
more formal, and only intimate friends being
invited. When making her debut, the debutante
should stand beside her mother in the
drawing-room, near the door, and be introduced
by her. On formal occasions the
father stands with them. The debutante
may receive flowers from intimate friends
only.

AT HOMES. These are the least formal.

SUPPERS OR DINNERS. If the debut takes the
form of a supper or dinner, the brother takes
in the debutante, and the father the most
distinguished woman; or, if there is no
brother, he takes in the debutante himself,
and she is seated at his left hand. The
mother is escorted by the most distinguished
man.

Should dancing follow, the mother should
select the first partner, who dances but once,
when others are at liberty to follow.

GUESTS. Guests should offer congratulations to
a debutante at her debut in a few well-chosen
words, and also to the parents. A few
moments of conversation with her only is admissible.

INVITATIONS. Invitations are engraved, and
should be sent by mail or messenger two
weeks in advance, addressed to Mr. and Mrs.
A, or Mrs. B, or The Misses A. While the
invitations to a family may be enclosed in
one envelope and sent to the principal one
of the family, the son of the family should
receive a separate invitation. Men should
receive separate invitations and acknowledge
them, in person.

Acknowledgment is mot necessary for an
"At Home" debut occurring in the afternoon,
but would be for a formal one in the
evening, for which special engraved invitations
had been sent.

If invitations for an afternoon "At Home"
reception are accepted, cards should be left
for mother and daughter. And, if not attending,
cards should be sent by mail or
messenger.

DIAMOND WEDDINGS. These occur after seventy-
five years of married life, and naturally are
of very rare occurrence. If they are celebrated,
the invitation may bear the words:
NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations
may be extended in accepting or declining
the invitation. An entertainment should be
provided for. Any article of diamonds or
precious stones is appropriate as a gift.

DINNERS. If the circle of acquaintances is large,
a series of dinners is necessary during the
season.

Dinners should begin at an hour between
seven-thirty and eight-thirty.

The dining-room should be bright and
attractive, well lighted, and artistically decorated
with flowers.

The success of a dinner lies in the selection
of the guests, with regard to their
congeniality to each other, and their conversational
powers and varying attainments. It
is better to have a few at a time, perhaps
eight, as a larger number is unmanageable.

CALLS. Guests should call soon after the dinner.

DRESS. Full dress is worn by both men and
women.

GUESTS. When guests are not congenial, or have
dislikes, they should not show it, but appear
as if the contrary were the case.

Guests should be prompt in arriving at the
hour named.

At the table it is in good taste to accept
whatever is offered, eating it or not, as one
desires. Wines should be accepted, even if
one does not partake of them. And if a toast
is offered, a guest should recognize the courtesy
by raising his glass.

Conversing across the table is permissible,
provided the distance does not require the
voice to be unduly raised.

When coffee is served in the drawing-room,
young women serve, and the men hand it to
the guests.

When the men re-enter the drawing-room
after the coffee, the guests should retire,
unless some further entertainment follows.
This is usually about eleven o'clock. When
leaving, a guest should thank the host and
hostess, making some agreeable and appropriate
remark suitable to the occasion.

HOST. When dinner is announced, the host
offers his left arm to the woman he escorts.
She may be the special invited guest, or the
most prominent guest present.

The signal for all to rise is given by the
hostess, who bows to the woman on the host's
right. The men escort the women to the
door or drawing-room, after which they return,
and cigars and liquors are offered.

The host wears full dress.

GUEST LATE. The host should always come
forward to shake hands with the late-comer,
and help him to find his seat, and do all in
his power to make his late-coming quickly
overlooked.

HOSTESS. The hostess receives her guest at the
parlor entrance.

At table the guests should remain standing
until all have found their places, when the
host and hostess seat themselves, after which
the others follow. The men should assist the
women they escort before taking their own
seats.

At an informal dinner a hostess should introduce
a man to the woman he is to escort
to dinner, informing him whether he is to sit
on the right or left hand of the host.

When the dinner is announced the host
with his escort leads the way, followed by the
guests, and the hostess and her escort come
last.

GUEST LATE. The hostess should always bow
and shake hands with a guest arriving late,
but does not rise unless the guest is a woman.

HOURS. Dinners begin from 7 to 8 P.M., and
usually last from one hour to an hour and a
half.

INTRODUCTIONS. If a man is not acquainted with
the woman assigned to him, the hostess
should introduce him to the woman.

INVITATIONS. These should be acknowledged
immediately by a letter of acceptance, or declining
with regret.

The invitations are given in the name of
husband and wife, and should be sent out
two or four weeks in advance. R. S. V. P.
is not used, and they should be answered
immediately.

Invitations to a dinner in honor of a special
guest are engraved, and state this fact. If
for good reasons there is not sufficient time
to engrave, an ordinary invitation may be
used, and a visiting-card enclosed, upon which
is written: To meet Miss Wilson.

For ceremonious dinners, cards may be engraved,
with place for guest's name left blank
and filled in by hand.

When frequent dinners are given, invitations
may be engraved, with blanks to be
filled with dates, etc.

Written invitations are also proper to indicate
an unceremonious dinner. Note sheets
can be used.

HUSBAND AND WIFE. Both the husband and
wife should always be invited to a dinner.

When a husband and wife are invited to
dinner, and the former does not accept, the
wife should decline, giving her reason. The
hostess can then invite the wife only, who
may accept.

MEN. Full dress is necessary for all except informal
dinners.

The man at the door, after asking the
guest's name, hands him an envelope, with
his name upon it, enclosing a card with the
name of the woman he is to escort to dinner;
or these envelopes may be in the dressing-
rooms, if preferred. It will also be designated
at which side of the table (right or
left) a man is to sit; or a diagram of the
table, with the names of the guests, should
be hung in each dressing-room. The guests
pair off as indicated.

As soon as possible a man should seek the
woman assigned to him, and inform her that
he will be pleased to act as her escort, disguising
any personal preference he may have
otherwise.

He should offer his left arm when escorting
her to dinner.

When the dinner is announced, the host
leads the way with the woman he escorts,
and the rest follow. To avoid confusion, a
man should remember on which side of the
table he is to sit, his place being indicated by
a dinner card.

If unacquainted with the woman a man is
to escort to dinner, he should seek an introduction
from the hostess.

When the women rise to leave, the men
rise and remain standing until the women
leave the dining-room, or they may accompany
them to the drawing-room, and then
return for coffee and cigars. They should
not remain longer than half an hour.

LEAVING CARDS. After a dinner a man should
leave a card for host and hostess, whether
the invitation was accepted or not; or it
may be sent by mail or messenger, with an
apology for so doing.

PRECEDENCE. The host offers his right arm to
the woman who is the guest, or the most distinguished
woman, or the eldest, or the one
invited for the first time. If the dinner is
given in honor of a married couple, the host
would take in the wife, and the husband
would accompany the hostess, who comes
last in the procession into the dining-room.

It is a fixed rule that relatives, or husbands
and wives, are never seated together.

If possible, there should be an equal number
of men and women, and if the latter outnumber
the former, the hostess enters alone.

SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties,
luncheons, and breakfasts, second helpings
are never offered by the host or hostess, and
should not be asked for by the guests. This
is only permissible at a small dinner party
or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second
glass of water for which the guest might ask,
or for wine, for which the butler should keep
a good lookout.

TABLE ETIQUETTE. See TABLE ETIQUETTE.

WOMEN. When wraps have been removed, and
the woman leaves the dressing-room, the escort
chosen by the hostess approaches and makes
known the fact, accompanying her to the
table. If the escort is not thoroughly agreeable
to the woman, she should conceal the
fact.

At the conclusion of a dinner the hostess rises
and the women follow, leaving their napkins
unfolded. They retire to the drawing-room,
while the men remain for coffee and cigars.
If the men prefer, they may escort them to
the drawing-room, where they bow and return.

GLOVES. Women may remove their gloves at
table, and it is not necessary to replace them.
They should be laid in the lap. The hostess
generally determines whether the women
should resume their gloves or not by her own
actions.

Full dress is worn.

GIVEN BY MEN--WOMEN. A young woman may
accept a man's invitation, provided she has
the consent of her mother or guardian, and
is assured that there will be present a chaperone.

GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS.

DINNER DANCE.

INVITATIONS. The hostess issues two sets of
invitations--one for those invited to both the
dinner and the dance, and one for those invited
to the dance only.

For the former she could use her usual
engraved dinner cards with the words: Dancing
at eleven, and for the latter her usual
engraved At Home cards with the words:
Dancing at eleven.

A less formal way for the latter invitation
is to use the Mr. and Mrs. card or Mrs. and
Miss card, and to write on it in the lower left
hand corner: Dancing at ten, February the
tenth.

DOCTOR--HOW ADDRESSED. A doctor or physician
should be addressed as Dr. both by correspondence
and in conversation.

This title of Dr. must not be confounded
with the honorary degree of Doctor of Divinity,
conferred upon clergymen by educational
institutions, and the degree of Doctor of
Philosophy, conferred upon college professors
after certain conditions of study have been
complied with.

DOWAGER DUCHESS. See DUCHESS, DOWAGER.

DOWAGER MARCHIONESS. See MARCHIONESS, DOWAGER.

DRESS.

AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON--DRESS.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--DRESS.

AT HOMES. See AT HOMES--DRESS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELOR'S DINNERS--
DRESS.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELOR'S TEAS--DRESS.

BALLS. See BALLS--DRESS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS--DRESS.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENING--DRESS.

COTILLIONS. See COTILLIONS--DRESS.

COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See COTILLIONS
BY SUBSCRIPTIONS--DRESS.

DANCES. See DANCES--DRESS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--DRESS.

EVENING. See EVENING DRESS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--DRESS.

HIGH TEAS. See HIGH TEAS--DRESS.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES--DRESS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--DRESS.

MATINEES. See MATINEES--DRESS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES--DRESS.

THEATRES. See THEATRES--DRESS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--DRESS.

DRESS--MEN AND WOMEN. For particulars as to dress
at different functions, see each entertainment
--as, Balls, Dinners, At Homes, Theatres,
Breakfasts, etc.

DRESS--WOMEN.

BRIDE. See BRIDE--DRESS.

BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS--DRESS.

CALLS. See CALLS--WOMEN--DRESS.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--WOMEN--DRESS.

MAID OF HONOR. See MAID OF HONOR--DRESS.

MOURNING. See MOURNING--DRESS, WOMEN.

DRESSING-ROOMS. At all entertainments,
dressing-rooms should be provided for both
the men and for the women, with suitable
attendants, where all outer wraps, coats, over-
shoes, etc., should be left.

DRIVING

MEN. When driving with a woman, a man should
be careful that the carriage is well drawn up
to the steps, and that she be given time in
which to comfortably seat herself before he
begins to drive.

A man when driving with a woman should
refrain from asking her permission to smoke,
and, of course, would never do so without her
permission.

He should be careful to lift his hat as if he
were on the street, and if this is not possible,
to touch it with the whip in place of a bow.

The host of a coaching party, if he is also
the whip, would give the chaperone the seat
on the box at the left of his, unless he wished
that seat to be occupied by some special young
woman. The person occupying this seat
should always be helped by the host to climb
to her place.

It is customary when the coach is a high
one to seat a woman between two men, and
they would ascend and descend in the order
in which they were seated.

Even if the woman asks a man to drive with
her, he should help her to her seat, and be
ready to step down when a halt is made to
assist her to alight.

It is not customary when a woman has
asked a man to drive with her for her to call
for him at his club or home, but to meet him
at her house.

DRESS. The whip wears a gray suit with a gray
high hat and gray gloves, with a white silk
tie and white linen. But in summer this costume
is often made lighter and more comfortable
to suit the weather, and a straw hat
or panama, with flannel trousers and dark
serge sacque coat, would be in good taste.

There are no hard and fast rules governing
the dress of men when driving.

WOMEN. The etiquette in general is the same
for a woman as for a man.

When a woman asks a man or a male relative
to drive with her, she does not call for
him, but meets him at her door. Even if a
groom is present, he should help her to
mount to her seat, and at the proper time
descend before her and help her to alight.

DUCHESS--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
Madam, may it please Your Grace, and ends:
I have the honor to remain your Grace's obedient
servant.

A social letter begins: My Dear Duchess of
Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess,
yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her
Grace, The Duchess of Kent.

DUCHESS, DOWAGER--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: May it please YOUR Grace, and
ends: I have the honor to remain your Grace's
obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duchess
Of Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess,
yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her
Grace, The Dowager Duchess of Kent, or, To
Her Grace, Minnie, Duchess of Kent.

DUKE--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
My Lord Duke, may it please your grace, and
ends: I have the honor to be your grace's most
obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duke of
Kent, and ends: believe me, dear Duke, your
Grace's very faithfully.

The address on the envelope is: To His
Grace, The Duke of Kent.

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Duke.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See Wife of
Younger Son of Duke.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Duke.

EARL--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
My Lord, and ends: I have the honor to be
your lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable The Earl Of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord Kent,
and ends: Believe me my dear Lord Kent,
very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Earl of Kent

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Earl.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON. See Wife of Younger
Son of Earl.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Earl.

EGGS are usually broken into a glass and eaten with
a spoon.

ELEVATOR. Men should remove their hats when
riding in an elevator with women, although
it is held by some that an elevator is as much
a public conveyance as a car, and this act of
courtesy as unnecessary in the one place as
in the other. Women enter and leave before
men.

ENGAGEMENT.

MEN It is his duty to see the woman's parents
or guardian, and to make known his
intentions, and to tell them fully and frankly
about himself, his family, his social position,
and business prospects. He should court the
fullest investigation, and take his own family
into his confidence, but not mention it to
others.

PARENTS OF MAN. They should send their
pleasant greetings and congratulations,
accompanied with flowers, and if both families
are old acquaintances, a present may be sent
to the prospective bride.

PARENTS OF WOMAN. The first step is to bring
together both parents in social intercourse--
as, by a dinner given by the man's or woman's
family, when friends may be invited, by
interchange of notes and congratulations, by
any social visit, or by any function that good
taste may dictate.

If one family lives out of town, it may
invite various members of the other family
living in the city to make visits of some
duration, as a week or more. These visits should
be returned.

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT. This item of news is
rarely published in the papers, but if it is,
the expense is borne by the family of the
woman. The public announcement is usually
made at some social entertainment--as, a
dinner, tea, or an "At Home," given by either
family.

At a formal dinner given by the family of
the woman, the father takes out his daughter
first and her fiance escorts her mother. At
the proper time the father drinks his future
son-in-law's health and announces the
engagement. All rise, and congratulations
follow.

Notes may be written to intimate friends
informing them of the happy event.

WOMEN. A woman should at once confide in
her parents, and trust to their future
guidance and to their making a full investigation
of the man, his social condition, and business
prospects. They should not mention the
matter to others.

Immediately after the engagement, each of
the two parties should be introduced to the
family of the other party. Before the wedding-cards
are issued the woman should leave her
card personally at the homes of her friends,
but without entering. After the wedding-cards
are issued she should not appear at any
social function, or make any personal visits,
or be seen at any place of amusement.

It is not wise for her to call at the place of
business of her fiance, and if a meeting is
necessary, it is better to make an appointment
elsewhere.

RING. The ring is given by the man immediately
after the announcement of the engagement
to the woman, who wears it on the third finger
of her left hand. It should be a small and
unostentatious one. Diamonds, rubies,
moonstones, sapphires, and other precious stones
may be used.

He may ask the woman to aid him in the
selection, but it is better for him to make the
selection alone. The woman may give the
man an engagement ring or a gift if she
wishes.

ENTERTAINMENTS--CALLS AFTER. See CALLS--MEN--AFTER
ENTERTAINMENTS.

ENVELOPES, ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING ENVELOPES.

ESQUIRE. Either ESQ. or MR. may be used in
addressing a letter, but never the two at the
same time.

EVENING CALLS. When no special day for receiving
is indicated, calls may be made at any proper
hour, according to the custom of the locality.
Men of leisure may call at the fashionable
hours, from two till five o'clock in the
afternoon, while business and professional men
may call between eight and nine in the
evening, as their obligations prevent them from
observing the fashionable hours.

EVENING DRESS.

Men. Evening dress should be worn on all
formal occasions, consisting of the swallow-
tail coat of black material, made in the
prevailing fashion, with waistcoat and trousers
of the same material; or a white vest may
be worn.

The linen must be white. Studs or shirt-
buttons may be worn, according to fashion.
The collar should be high, and the cravat
white. Low patent-leather shoes and white
kid gloves complete the costume.

Evening dress should be worn at all formal
functions after six o'clock--as, balls, dinners,
suppers, receptions, germans, formal
stag parties, theatre, opera, and fashionable
evening calls where women are present.

The phrase, "evening dress," is now used
in place of full dress.

A Tuxedo should never be worn when
women are present.

See also TUXEDO. CLERGYMAN--EVENING
DRESS.

WEDDINGS, EVENING. Full evening dress is
worn by the groom and ushers. Guests are
likewise in evening dress.

CLERGYMAN. Custom permits a clergyman to
wear his clerical dress at all functions where
other men wear evening dress, or he may
wear evening dress.

EVENING RECEPTIONS. The etiquette is the same as
for an afternoon tea (formal), save that no
cards are left by the guests, and that they
wear evening dress.

See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FACSIMILE CARDS, engraved, are no longer used.

FAMILY OF BRIDE. The family, except the father,
leave the house first, then the bridesmaids,
the maid of honor with the mother, and last
the bride with her father or nearest male
relative. At church the family is seated by the
ushers.

At the conclusion of the ceremony they are
the first to be escorted from their pew and to
take their carriage for the wedding reception
or breakfast.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride's father or
her nearest male relative takes in the groom's
mother, and the bride's mother, as hostess, is
taken in by the groom's father.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both
bride and groom stand up with the married
couple, and are introduced to the guests.

FAMILY OF GROOM. At the church the family and
relatives of the groom are seated on one side,
while the family of the bride and her
relatives are seated on the other.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The groom's mother is
taken in by the bride's father, and the groom's
father takes in the bride's mother, who,
acting as hostess, comes last.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both
bride and groom stand up with the married
couple, and are introduced to the guests.

FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNER. See BACHELOR'S FAREWELL
DINNERS.

FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See BRIDE--FAREWELL
LUNCHEON.

FATHER OF BRIDE.

DEBUTS. When the debut is a formal one, he
stands beside his wife and daughter, and
receives the congratulations of the guests. At
a supper or dinner he escorts the most
distinguished woman. If there is no brother to
escort the debutante, he does so, and she is
seated at his left hand.

DINNER, ENGAGEMENT. At a formal dinner
given by the family of the engaged woman
the father takes out his daughter first and
her fiance escorts her mother. At the proper
time the father drinks to the health of his
future son-in-law, and announces the
engagement. All rise, and congratulations follow.

He wears evening dress.

The father of the bride, or her nearest
male relative, drives to the church with her,
and is there received by the ushers and
bridesmaids, and escorts her in the
procession up the aisle.

After the procession has arrived at the
chancel and the groom comes forward to
take the bride's hand, he steps back a little
way and waits for the clergyman's words:
"Who giveth this woman away?" He
then places the bride's right hand in that of
the clergyman, and retires to his seat in the
pew with his family.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. He takes in the mother
of the groom, following the ushers and the
maids of honor.

WEDDING RECEPTION. He escorts the groom's
mother, and receives with the married couple.

FATHER OF GROOM. At a wedding breakfast he should
take in the mother of the bride, and at a
wedding reception he receives with the bride
and groom.

At a church wedding he is, of course, given
a front seat among those reserved for the
groom's family.

He should wear afternoon dress for an
afternoon wedding, and evening dress at an
evening wedding.

FEES.

CHRISTENING. See CHRISTENING--FEES

WEDDING. The wedding fee, preferably gold or
clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the
best man to the officiating clergyman. Custom
leaves the amount to the groom, who
should give at least five dollars or more, in
proportion to his income and social position.
The clergyman usually gives the fee to his
wife.

A fee should also be paid to the sexton and
the organist

FIANCE, MOURNING FOR. In the event of the death
of a woman's betrothed shortly before the
date of the wedding, she may wear black for
a short period or full mourning for a year.

FINGER-BOWL. The fingers should be dipped in the
water and gently rubbed together, and dried
on the napkins.

FIRST CALLS. Newcomers and brides are called upon
first.

After a country visit, the visitor should call
first upon the hostess when the latter returns
to town.

Other things being equal, the younger or
unmarried woman calls first upon the older
or married woman.

A woman returning to town before another
one would make the first call.

If one woman issues her AT HOME card
before another, she should receive the first
call.

FISH should be eaten with a fork held in the right
hand and a piece of bread held in the left hand.
The bones should be removed from the
mouth with the aid of a fork or with the
fingers. If by the latter, great delicacy
should be used.

FLOWER GIRL. The flower girls--one or two, as may
be the case--follow the maid of honor up the
isle and strew flowers in the path of the
bride, who follows after.

In the procession down the isle they should
follow the bride.

Flower girls and pages are not used now
as much as formerly.

FLOWERS. Between friends, flowers may be sent as
an expression of sympathy in either joy or
sorrow.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to send
congratulations after a birth, cards should be
left in person or sent by a messenger. Cut
flowers may be sent with the card.

BRIDE. If she wishes, a bride may present flowers
to her bridesmaids, and also to the best
man and ushers.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a
good opportunity for the guests who desire
to present flowers to the mother. This is
not obligatory, however, and must remain a
matter of personal taste.

CONDOLENCE CALLS. When making a condolence
call upon a very intimate friend, cut
flowers may be left in person or sent,
together with a card, unless request has been
made to send none.

DEBUTANTE. Friends should send flowers to a
debutante at a formal tea given in her honor.

ENGAGEMENT. Flowers should accompany the
greetings from the parents of the man to the
parents of the woman.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--FLOWERS.

GROOM. He pays for the bridal bouquet carried
by the bride at the wedding ceremony, and, if
he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the
bridesmaids.

MEN. If well acquainted with a debutante's
family, a man may send her flowers at the
time of her debut.

After a slightly intimate acquaintance, a
man can present flowers to a young
unmarried woman as a token of sympathy either of
joy or sorrow.

It is not usual for a man to send flowers to
a woman who is a mere acquaintance.

BALLS. It is permissible for a man, if he wishes,
to send flowers to a woman he is to escort to
a ball.

THEATRE OR OPERA. It is permissible, but not
necessary, for a man to send flowers to the
woman he is to take to the theatre or to the
opera.

WEDDING TRIP. The best man should arrange
beforehand all the details of the trip--such as
the tickets, parlor-car, flowers, baggage, etc.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS--FLOWERS.

FORK AND KNIFE. See KNIFE AND FORK.

FORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FORMAL DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL).

FRUIT. All raw fruit, except melons, berries, and
grapefruit, are eaten with the fingers.
Canned fruits are eaten with a spoon.

FULL DRESS. This phrase is now no longer in good
usage, and instead should be used the term:
"Evening Dress," which SEE.

FUNERALS. A member of the family, or very near
relative, should take charge of the ceremony
and direct the undertaker. A large funeral
should be avoided, and the ceremony confined
to the immediate family and nearest relatives,
and, if possible, the service should be at the
church.

All the details of the funeral should be
carefully considered and carried out, with the
ceremony started at the hour set, and with
all appearance of confusion avoided.

It is not now customary to watch by the
dead at night.

Funerals should be private, and only those
intimately interested should be invited.

CARRIAGES. A carriage should always be
provided to call for the clergyman and to take
him from the church or cemetery back to his
house. Carriages should also be provided to
take the friends, mourners, and pall-bearers
from the house to the church, and then to the
cemetery and return. These are provided by
the family.

DRESS. See FUNERALS--MEN.

EXPENSES. Though it is not customary for
the clergyman in Protestant churches to
expect or to receive fees for conducting funerals,
yet it is in perfectly good taste to offer him a
fee. In the Roman Catholic Church the rate
of fees for funerals is fixed. There are,
besides, fees for the sexton, the organist, and the
singers.

FLOWERS. The family, in publishing notice of
funeral, may add: "Kindly omit flowers."
However, in the absence of such a notice,
at the public funerals of prominent persons
elaborate designs may be sent. But at a
private funeral, if flowers are sent, they
should be choice and delicate.

The custom is growing of having fewer
flowers, and it is no longer in good taste to
have a carriage in the procession carrying
flowers and set pieces. A good use of the
large set pieces is to send them afterward to
the hospitals.

If any flowers are laid upon the grave
they should be those given by the nearest
relatives.

INVITATIONS. A church funeral can be attended
by any one, friend or acquaintance, and no
slight should be felt at the non-receipt of an
invitation. Those attending should take
especial pains to be in the church before the
funeral procession arrives, and that they do
nothing to distract from the solemnity of the
occasion.

Notice of death and date of funeral may be
printed on heavy bordered cards, or on
mourning paper, and sent to friends.
Sometimes a notice is written and sent to most
intimate friends.

MEN--DRESS. A man should wear either a black
frock coat or a black cutaway, with the
necktie, gloves, and other parts of the dress as
subdued as possible. Under no conditions
should light ties or light-colored linen be
worn.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS.

PRECEDENCE. At a church funeral the parents,
arm in arm, follow the body of their child,
and the children come next in the order of
their age.

A widow, leaning on the arm of her eldest
son, follows the body of her husband, and
the other children come after.

A widower, attended by his eldest daughter
or son, follows the body of his wife, and the
children come after.

The elder children always precede the
younger. The pall-bearers are seated at the
left of the main isle, and the near relatives
at the right.

PUBLIC NOTICE. When the date of the funeral
has been determined upon, notice should be
published in the papers, giving date, place,
and time of funeral--also date of birth and
late place of residence of deceased. Such
announcement may contain notice that
the interment is private, and also the words:
"Kindly omit flowers."

A notice of death and date of funeral may
be printed on heavy bordered cards or mourning
paper, and sent to friends. Sometimes
a notice is written and sent to most intimate
friends.

CHURCH. The pall-bearers and the nearest relatives
meet at the house. At the appointed
hour the procession leaves the house, the
casket borne on the shoulders of the undertaker's
assistants, followed by the pall-bearers,
relatives, and friends.

The same order is followed in the procession
up the aisle, the relatives occupying
the first pews on the right, the pall-bearers
the first pews on the left, of the middle aisle.
At the conclusion of the ceremony the friends
wait until the family and pall-bearers have
left, and then quietly retire.

HOUSE. At a house funeral, some one representing
the family should receive the people
as they enter and direct them where to go,
it being customary for the family and relatives
to be in one room and the friends in
another.

Usually there are no pall-bearers; but if
there are, their duties are the same as at a
church funeral. The clergyman should stand
near the casket, and if there are musicians
they should be so stationed that, while they
are not seen, they are easily heard. At the
conclusion of the ceremony the friends depart,
and thus allow the family and relatives
to take the last leave of the deceased
before they take the carriages for the cemetery.

It is customary for the family to be in
retirement at the hour of the funeral, and
they are the first to enter the carriages.

Those in charge of the house should, after
the funeral party has left, arrange the
apartments to make them as cheerful as possible,
and also provide a substantial meal for
the mourners on their return.

GARDEN PARTIES.

CARDS. Guests leave their cards in the hall either
when entering or leaving only at large garden
parties.

DRESS. It is customary for women to wear light
afternoon dresses.

Men wear summer business suits, yachting
flannels, and straw hats, and even white duck
trousers. Gloves are not worn.

The regulation frock coat and high hat is
not worn, save by men from the city or at
some extremely fashionable affair.

GUESTS. After leaving their outer garments in
the dressing-rooms, the guests should pay
their respects to the hostess, after which
they are free to enjoy themselves as they
please.

The usual length of stay is about half an
hour or the whole afternoon.

While guests may arrive at their own convenient
time, they would do well to remember
that they have not the same freedom to come
and go as at an afternoon reception.

Guests should take leave of the hostess unless
she is very much engaged.

HOSTESS. The hostess wears afternoon dress,
and usually one that is dainty and delicate--
suitable for a summer afternoon.

She receives on the lawn, shakes hands
with each guest, and makes introductions
when deemed essential.

She may, if she so desires, receive with
some member of her family.

HOURS. These are from 3 to 7 P.M.

INVITATIONS. These are issued in the name of
the hostess, and may be engraved or written.
Sometimes the hostess writes on her card:
GARDEN PARTY, JULY 17, FROM 4 TO 7, or she
may use an AT HOME card, and in the lower
left-hand corner write: GARDEN PARTY. The
engraved card usually indicates an elaborate
affair.

These invitations may be sent by mail or
messenger.

It is a good plan to add to the invitations
some information regarding the trains, or to
enclose a time-table.

All such invitations should be promptly
acknowledged or declined.

MEN. Men wear summer business suits, white
ducks, or yachting flannels, A tennis suit
would be permissible.

The regulation frock coat and high hat
should be worn only by men from the city
attending an affair in the country, or at some
extremely fashionable affair.

Men should greet the hostess both on their
arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large garden
parties.

WOMEN. Women wear light, delicate, afternoon
dresses.

They should greet the hostess, both on their
arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large and
formal outdoor affairs.

GERMANS. See COTILLIONS.

GIFTS.

AFTER HOUSE PARTY. While not necessary, a
guest after a house party may send some
trifle to the hostess as a token of pleasure
and appreciation.

BEST MAN. After the groom selects the best
man, the latter should send a gift to the
bride, and may, if he wish, send it to the
groom, a custom not yet clearly established.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a
good opportunity for the invited guests so
wishing to send a gift to the baby. These
should be sent a day or two before the
ceremony, and, if of silver, should be suitably
marked with the child's name, initials, or
monogram.

ENGAGEMENT. If both families of the engaged
couple are old acquaintances, the parents of
the man may send a gift along with their
greetings and congratulations.

WEDDING. See WEDDINGS--GIFTS.

GIFTS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN. Books, flowers,
and other small articles of decoration are
proper gifts to accept.

Sending valuable gifts of jewelry, or any
other article, depends largely upon the
relationships of the parties, and should not be
done unless the sender is sure of its
acceptance. Such gifts should not be accepted
from mere acquaintances or friends.

It is bad form for a man to send expensive
presents to a woman who may be compelled
to return them.

GLOVES.

MEN. At the opera or theatre, if in full dress,
gloves may be dispensed with, but they are
worn with street dress. With formal evening
dress, white kid gloves should be worn.

For afternoon dress, gloves should be of
undressed kid, gray, tan, or brown. When
calling, the glove of the right hand should
be removed upon entering the drawing-room.

Gloves should not be worn at high teas.

MEN--AFTERNOON DRESS. Undressed kid
gloves of a dark color are worn.

MEN-BALLS. Men should always wear gloves
at all balls, in summer or winter, in town or
city.

MEN-CALLING ON WOMEN. Gloves need not
be removed at a formal or brief call.

MEN-DANCES. Gloves should be worn at formal
dances, and should be put on before entering
the room.

MEN-HIGH TEA. Men do not wear gloves.

MEN-MOURNING. Black or dark-colored gloves
should be worn.

MEN--SHAKING HANDS. At weddings, operas,
or dances, and on all very formal occasions,
men wear gloves. In shaking hands with
women on these occasions gloves should not
be removed.

If a hostess wears gloves at any formal
affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands
with her.

A man with hands gloved should never
shake hands with a woman without an apology
for so doing, unless she likewise wears gloves.
A sudden meeting, etc., may make a hand-shaking
in gloves unavoidable. Unless the
other party is also gloved, a man should say:
"Please excuse my glove."

WOMEN. Gloves should always be worn on the
street.

At dinners, or formal teas, women should
remove their gloves at the table and place
them in their laps.

At dinners and formal teas, when the
women have retired to the drawing-room,
they may resume their gloves or not, or
follow the example of the hostess.

At informal teas or "At Homes" the
hostess need not wear gloves.

BREAKFAST. Gloves should be removed at table.

DINNER. Women may remove their gloves at
table, and it is not necessary to replace
them. They should be laid in the lap. The
hostess generally determines by her own
actions whether the women should resume
gloves or not.

MOURNING. Gloves may be of black kid, suede,
or black silk. In the evening, black suede
or glace, or white suede should be worn.
White gloves with black stitching should not
be worn in the evening.

BRIDE. See BRIDE--GLOVES.

GROOM. See GROOM--GLOVES.

USHERS. See USHERS--GLOVES.

GODFATHER. A man asked to be one of the sponsors
at a christening ceremony should reply by a
written note or by calling in person.

He should call immediately on the parents
and send flowers to the mother, and express
himself as pleased at the compliment.

He should send a present to the child,
usually a piece of jewelry or some silver, and,
if a wealthy relative, may deposit a sum of
money to the child's credit, and present him
with the bank-book.

He should also send with his present one
of his calling cards, on which is written some
appropriate sentiment.

It is his privilege, when the wine is about
to be drunk after the ceremony, to first
propose the health of the child and then the
health of the mother.

The duties of the godfather at the ceremony
consist of assenting to the vows.

GODMOTHER. A woman asked to be a sponsor at a
christening should immediately accept or
decline the invitation either by a written note
or a call.

She should also call on the parents and send
flowers to the mother, and express pleasure
at the compliment paid to her.

It is always customary for the godmother
to give the child a gift, such as a christening
robe, a cradle, or some piece of silver. If
the latter is sent, it should have the child's
name on it. With the gift should be sent
the sponsor's calling card, with some
appropriate sentiment on it. It is customary to
send the gift to the child itself.

GOLDEN WEDDINGS. Fifty years after the wedding-day
comes the Golden Wedding. The invitations
may bear the words: NO PRESENTS
RECEIVED, and congratulations may be extended
in accepting or declining the invitation. An
entertainment is usually provided for.

The gifts are, appropriately, articles of
gold, and this is a fitting occasion for giving
fifty gold pieces of either, five, ten, or twenty
dollar denomination. The invitations are
appropriately engraved in gold, and the
decorations golden in color.

GOVERNOR OF A STATE--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor,
sir, to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Governor
Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely
yours.

The address on the envelope is: Governor
John J. Wilson.

GRAPES AND PLUMS should be eaten one by one, and
the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the
half-closed hand and then transferred to the
plate.

GROOM. The groom selects his best man, usually
an unmarried intimate friend, though a married
man or widower is permissible. After
consultation with the bride he calls upon the
clergyman, the organist, the sexton, and invites
the ushers.

When he is informed by his bride of the
day selected for the wedding, he should ask
her mother to accept the day agreed upon.

He may make what present he desires to
the bride, and, if he also wishes, to the brides-
maids. If any gifts are sent to the groom,
they should bear his name or cipher.

He should furnish the bride's family with
a list of names of persons to whom he desires
to have invitations sent, designating his
preference for those to be asked to the wedding
breakfast or reception.

BEFORE CEREMONY. The day before the ceremony,
or sooner, he gives into the safe-
keeping of the best man the ring and the fee
for the clergyman.

He also sends or hands the marriage license
(if one is needed) to the officiating
clergyman before the ceremony.

CHURCH, It is not customary for the groom to
see his bride on the wedding-day till he
meets her at the altar. The groom and the
best man usually breakfast together on the
wedding-day and arrive in ample time at the
church.

Upon the arrival of the bride in the
vestibule, the clergyman enters the chancel,
followed by the groom and the best man. The
groom then steps forward, and stands at the
left of the clergyman, facing the audience. It
is a good plan for both the groom and best
man to leave their hats in the vestry, but if
the groom has not done so, he gives his hat
and gloves to the best man on the approach
of the bride, and advances to meet her. He
gives her his left arm, and together they stand
before the clergyman.

At the proper moment he receives the ring
from the best man and hands it to the bride.
It is no longer in good form for him to kiss
the bride after the ceremony, but after receiving
the congratulations of the clergyman
to give her his right arm, and together they
lead the procession to the vestibule.

CLERGYMAN. While the bride selects the officiating
clergyman, it is the place of the groom
to call upon him in regard to the details, and
to pay him the fee.

If the clergyman from any cause--as, living
outside of the State--cannot legally perform
the ceremony, a magistrate should be present
to legalize the marriage, and should receive
a fee.

DRESS-EVENING WEDDING. He wears full
evening dress.

DRESS-MORNING OR AFTERNOON WEDDING.
He wears afternoon dress, consisting of a
double-breasted frock coat of dark material,
waistcoat, single or double (preferably the
latter), of same material, or more usually of
some fancy material of late design. The
trousers should be of light pattern, avoiding
extremes. The linen should be white, and
the tie white or light material, and the gloves
of gray suede. These, with patent-leather
shoes and a silk hat, complete the costume.

EXPENSES. He pays for the license fee, the
organist's fee, and a fee to the sexton.

Nothing less than five dollars in gold,
clean bills, or a check in a sealed envelope,
or more, according to social position and
financial income, should be the clergyman's
fee. Should there be one or two additional
clergymen, he pays a fee to each, the fee of
the officiating clergyman being double that
of the others.

He pays for the carriages of the ushers,
the one for himself and the best man, and
the one which takes away the married couple
on their wedding trip.

He pays for the bouquet carried by the
bride, and, if he wishes, for the bouquets
carried by the bridesmaids. He also pays for
the cuff-buttons or scarf-pins, and, if he
wishes, for the gloves and neckties given
to the ushers and the best man.

He pays for the wedding-ring--a plain gold
one, with initials of bride and groom and
date of marriage engraved thereon. He may
also present some souvenirs to the
bridesmaids.

He may give a farewell dinner a few
evenings before the wedding to his best man,
ushers, and a few intimate friends. He sits
at the head of the table and the best man
opposite, and on this occasion he may give
the scarf-pins or cuff-buttons, also neckties
and gloves, if he wishes, to the best man and
ushers.

FAREWELL DINNER. See BACHELOR'S FAREWELL
DINNER.

GLOVES. At a morning or afternoon wedding,
the groom wears gray suede gloves.

At an evening wedding he wears white kid
gloves.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and groom
enter first, and are seated at the principal
table.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The groom and his bride
stand side by side and receive the
congratulations of all present. The guests serve
them refreshments.

See also BEST MAN. BRIDE. USHERS. All
items under WEDDINGS.

GROOM'S FAMILY. See FAMILY OF GROOM.

GROOM'S FATHER. See FATHER OF GROOM.

GROOM'S MOTHER. See MOTHER OF GROOM.

GUESTS.

GUEST OF HONOR AT BALLS, if the ball is given
in honor of some special person, he should be
met on his arrival, introduced to the women
of the reception committee, escorted to the
seat prepared for him, and be attended to the
whole evening by the management of the ball.

At the end of the ball, he should be escorted
to his carriage.

LATE AT DINNERS. When a guest arrives late
he should make a short and suitable apology
to the hostess, and then take his seat as
quickly and as quietly as possible.

The hostess shakes hands with the guest,
but does not rise unless the guest is a woman.

The host should in either case rise and
meet the guest, and assist him in finding his
seat, and endeavor, by making the conversation
general, to distract attention from the
event.

For duties of guests, see other functions--
as, BALLS--GUESTS, CHRISTENINGS--GUESTS, etc.

HAND-SHAKING--INTRODUCTIONS. Women and men on
being introduced may shake hands, but it is
not good form. A polite bow, a smile, and
friendly recognition is more correct. If an
advance is made by either party, it should be
immediately accepted.

HAT.

MEN--CALLING. When making a formal or
brief call, the hat should be carried in the
hand into the parlor.

In apologizing to a woman, opening a door,
or rendering any service to a woman in public,
or in answering a question, the hat should
be raised.

When seeing a woman to her carriage, he
should raise his hat upon closing the
carriage door. When attentions are offered by
another man to a woman whom he is escorting,
a man raises his hat in acknowledgment
of the courtesy and thanks the party.

In a street-car a man raises his hat when
giving his seat to a woman.

On the railroad a man removes his hat in
the parlor-car, but not in the day coach.

In an elevator a man should remove his
hat in the presence of women.

In hotels where corridors are reserved and
used as places of meeting and recreation by
the guests, no hats should be worn. Standing
uncovered when talking to a woman on
the street is generally embarrassing to her,
and it is better to make a polite bow and
replace it after a few seconds.

MOURNING. A crape band around the hat should
be worn--the width of the band being
determined by the character of the bereavement.

HIGH TEA. This is an elaborate entertainment,
and an elaborate menu is generally served.

CALLS. Calls should be made in person one week
after the event.

GUESTS. Guests wear evening dress, and should
not remain more than half an hour.

INVITATIONS. These are engraved, and the
hour for the entertainment specified. They
should be issued in the name of the hostess
only, except in such cases when the entertainment
is the occasion of a debut or another
woman assists, in which event her
name appears likewise.

The invitations should be promptly accepted
or declined.

MEN. Full dress is worn, but men do not wear
gloves.

WOMEN. Full dress is worn.

HOME WEDDINGS. Weddings at the homes of the
brides vary much, according to the taste of
the participants. The ushers, bridesmaids,
best man, and maid of honor are generally
dispensed with; but if present, their duties
are the same as at a church wedding, with
minor differences.

The clergyman stands in a large room
decorated with flowers, facing the audience,
with the groom beside him. The bride enters
on the arm of her father, followed by the
bridesmaids and ushers, and the ceremony
proceeds as at a church, with the usual
congratulations to the groom and best wishes to
the bride.

Refreshments are served, either formal or
informal. At an afternoon ceremony men
wear the regulation afternoon dress, and if
in the evening, the usual evening dress.

HONEYMOON, See WEDDING TRIP.

HONOR, SEAT OF. The seat of honor is at the right
of the host.

HOST.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--HOST.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS--
HOST.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS--HOST.

BALLS. See BALLS--HOST.

DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL)--HOST.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--HOST.

MATINEES. See MATINEES--HOST.

THEATRES. See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES
GIVEN BY MEN.

HOSTESS.

INTRODUCTIONS. Introductions to the hostess at
an "At Home" or reception by women
assisting hostess, to those who have been invited
to the entertainment by them, are not
recognized thereafter unless by mutual consent.

The hostess receiving in her own home
should offer her hand to all to whom she is
introduced.

The hostess introduces her immediate family
to all her guests. No formal permission
is necessary.

In the case of one woman desiring an introduction
to another, the hostess should be
asked to bring this about.

INTRODUCTIONS BY CHAPERONES. At entertainments
both the chaperone and her protege
should enter together, and the chaperone
should introduce her protege to the hostess.

WOMEN CALLING UPON. When calling formally
upon a hostess, a woman should leave a card,
whether the hostess was at home or not.

When a son enters society, his mother,
when calling, can leave his cards for him, and
invitations to entertainments will follow. If
it is impossible for him to leave cards for himself
she may continue to do so.

WOMEN LEAVING CARDS ON. When a mother
leaves her daughter's card, it is for the hostess
only.

HIGH TEAS. See HIGH TEAS--HOSTESS.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES--HOSTESS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--HOSTESS.

MATINEES. See MATINEES--HOSTESS.

SHAKING HANDS. See SHAKING HANDS--HOST.

WEDDINGS. See MOTHER OF BRIDE.

HOURS.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--HOURS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS--HOURS.

CALLS. See CALLS--HOURS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--HOURS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--HOURS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--HOURS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES--HOURS.

RECEPTIONS. See RECEPTIONS--HOURS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--HOURS.

HOUSE FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--HOUSE.

HOUSE PARTIES. These usually refer to a group of congenial
persons, numbering from four to
twenty-four, and visiting country homes,
making a stay of a few days or a few weeks.

DRESS. The length of the visit and the nature
of the house party determines the extent of
wardrobe necessary. A guest should carry
at least three changes of suits--one for the
morning, one suitable for afternoon entertainments,
picnics, etc., and the regulation
evening dress.

GUEST. To be a welcome guest the visitor
should accommodate himself as much as possible
to the plans of his hostess and the ways
of the home life.

A visitor should avoid the common mistake
of refusing to make a choice when a
choice is offered.

A guest should try to be congenial with
the other guests, kind to the servants, and
to be considerate of all others.

EXPENSES. The hostess should furnish transportation
for both guests and baggage to and
from the station.

Each guest should pay for all expenses incurred
by him, and be especially careful, in
the case of sickness or misfortune, that some
items are not overlooked.

LETTER AFTER DEPARTURE. If the visit has
been more than two days, the guest should
write a short letter to the hostess, telling
of the pleasure the visit gave them and their
safe journey home.

A guest so desiring might send some trifle
as a gift to the hostess.

TIPPING SERVANTS. Unless a hostess positively
requests her guests not to tip, a guest,
when leaving at the end of a visit at a private
house, should remember the servants.
The average American, from lack of a definite
standard, too often errs on the side of
giving too much.

Those giving personal service should be
remembered, as well as those who render service--
as, the coachman and outside servants.

HOSTESS. While careful to provide entertainment
for her guests, a hostess should be careful
not to overentertain, and to allow each guest
ample time in which to enjoy themselves
any way they please. If an entertainment
is planned for the afternoon, it is well to
leave the mornings open, and VICE VERSA.

The success of the hostess depends on her
making the guests feel free from care and
ENNUI.

CARING FOR THE SICK. In addition to the regular
care of the guest's room and attention to
his comfort and pleasure, a hostess should
double her energies in case her guest is sick.

She is not called upon to pay for the expenses
of telegrams, doctor's bills, medicines,
etc., contracted by the guest. If a
guest departed without attending to these
matters, the hostess would have to pay for
them.

GIVING FAREWELL, To VISITORS. A hostess
should, in bidding farewell to her visitors,
see that she does not overdo it.

While it is not strictly necessary that a
hostess should accompany a guest to the depot,
yet many still follow this rule, especially in
the case of an unmarried woman, and are
careful to see to all the details of checking
baggage, etc.

In the case of a bachelor, such attention
is not necessary.

A hostess conveys at her own expense both
the guest and baggage to and from the
station.

GREETING VISITORS. When an hour of arrival
is specified in an invitation, the guest
should be met at the station, especially an
unmarried woman, by the hostess or host.
In case of married couples or bachelors, a
man servant may meet them.

In all cases the hostess should arrange for
the conveyance of both the guests and their
luggage.

A hostess accompanies a woman to the
guest chamber, but sends a man servant
with a bachelor to the latter's room.

INVITATIONS. These should state definitely
when a visit is to begin and to end. It is
also a good plan to allude in the invitation
to any special amusement or entertainment.

These invitations should be answered
promptly.

MEN--DRESS. A man should carry with him
one business suit, evening clothes, and one
outing suit suitable for afternoon entertainments
--as, picnics, tennis, etc. This is almost
indispensable, and more depends upon the
nature of the entertainments and the length
of the visit.

WOMEN--DRESS. A woman should take at least
three changes of dress--one to travel in and
wear in the morning, one for evening wear,
and a third for afternoon picnics, outings,
etc. The length of her visit and the nature of
the entertainments and her individual taste
determines how much she may increase this.

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, MEMBER OF. An official
letter begins: SIR, and ends: I HAVE, SIR, THE
HONOR TO REMAIN YOUR MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT.

A social letter begins: MY DEAR MR. WILSON
and ends: I HAVE THE HONOR TO REMAIN MOST
SINCERELY YOURS.

The address on the envelope is: HON. JOHN
F. WILSON.

HUSBAND AND WIFE--CARDS, VISITING. See CARDS,
VISITING-HUSBAND AND WIFE.

IN MEMORIAM CARDS. Printed or engraved notes, or
special cards, can be used, and should be
heavily bordered. Custom allows much diversity
as to the contents of the card. Place
and date of birth, residence, date of death,
and any other information of interest to
friends and relatives may be given.

INFANT'S CARDS. The full name of the child should
be engraved, with date of birth in lower
left-hand corner, enclosed in envelope with
mother's card, and sent by mail. Such cards
are generally held together with white ribbon.

INFORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. These are the usual afternoon
teas. By formal afternoon teas are
meant those for which specially engraved
cards have been issued, and at which all the
arrangements are more elaborate.

See AFTERNOON TEAS.

INTERIOR, SECRETARY OF--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the
honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain most
sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary Of The Interior.

INTRODUCTIONS. One should be careful in making introductions.
It is easier to evade than to cause
disagreeable complications. It is unpardonable
to introduce one party to another after
having been warned not to do so.

Forgetting a person's name when about to
introduce is awkward, and when it does
occur, one should apologize and ask name.
If a person fails to hear the name, it is proper
to inform the one to whom you are introduced
and to say: "Pardon me, but I failed to
hear your name." In making introductions
one should distinctly pronounce the names.

Parents should not speak of or introduce
their children as MISS ANNA, but simply
MY DAUGHTER ANNA. Only before servants
should they be spoken of as MISS ANNA.

Persons of celebrity should have introductions
made to them. Men should always be
introduced to women, the younger to an
elder person, and unmarried persons to the
married. Persons at an entertainment are
introduced to the guest of the occasion.

Women and men on being introduced may
shake hands, but it is not good form. A
polite bow, a smile, and friendly recognition
is more correct.

Those invited to an entertainment are on
equal footing; it is therefore not necessary
to introduce one to another. Conversation
may be held without this formality, though
introductions may take place if desired.
When an introduction occurs, future recognition
is not warranted. For this reason
great care should be exercised at entertainments
that only those who are congenial to
each other should be brought together.

At small gatherings it is more kindly to
introduce. When many are present, it is not
customary to do so.

Introductions should not take place in a
church or on the steps.

It is quite proper to introduce one group
to another without formality at any outdoor
function--athletic games, etc. Such introductions
need not imply further acquaintance
if undesirable.

DANCING. The man must be introduced to the
woman, and he should ask her for the privilege
of a dance.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Introductions are not absolutely
required at musicales, teas, "At
Homes," etc. One may converse with those
nearest, but this does not warrant future
recognition.

MEN. Men are introduced to women and single
men to married men.

When introduced to a woman, a man
should bow but not shake hands, and make
some pleasant observations, and express
pleasure at the introduction.

When introduced to another man, the
man should shake hands.

Business introductions are immediate and
personal, and are intended to bring men
together without much formality. No formality
is required in introducing one man to
another on casual meeting.

It is well to avoid exaggerated expressions,
as: "Delighted to meet you," or
"Glad to know you." A simple "How do
you do" is better.

A man introducing another to a woman
should first ask her permission to do so.
This gained, he introduces him with the
remark: "Mr. Smith desires to be introduced
to Miss Wilson."

A woman's permission should first be obtained
by the party introducing. Very often
off-hand introductions take place; but it is
better to be more formal and careful, as indicated.
If she evades or declines, a man
should accept it without any show of feeling,
and make it as easy for her as possible.

After an introduction at an entertainment,
when a man meets the woman on the street,
she should bow first if she desires to continue
the acquaintance.

CHAPERONE. A man should never be introduced
direct by card or letter to a young unmarried
woman. If he desires to be introduced, the
letter or card of introduction should be addressed
to her chaperone or mother, who may
then introduce him to the young woman if
she deems it advisable.

At an entertainment a chaperone may ask
a young man if he wishes to be introduced
to the one under her care.

FORMULA. A good formula for men is: "Mr.
Brown, may I present Mr. Clark?"

A man presenting a man friend to a woman
should say: "Mr. Williams desires to be
presented to Miss Wilson. Miss Wilson,
allow me to introduce Mr. Williams. This is
Mr. Williams, Miss Wilson."

The formality is sometimes waved, and the
forms, "This is Mr. So and So, Miss Jones,"
"Mrs. Smith, Miss Jones," or "Allow me to
present ----," are used when casual meetings
occur.

PARTY INTRODUCED. After receiving call of
party to whom you have been introduced,
the visit should be returned. If AT HOME
card was left, the call should be made only
on the days specified; if an ordinary card,
call at any time within three to ten days.

If the party introduced leaves town, he
should send his card to his late host before
leaving; upon his return, he should leave
his card again.

PARTY INTRODUCING BY CARD--WOMEN. A
note of explanation may be sent by party who
brings about the introduction to the party to
whom the introduction is made, giving such
explanations as may be deemed advisable.

Two cards should be used--a person's own
card and the card of the party being introduced,
enclosed in envelope, and sent by
mail or messenger. On the left corner over
name of party introduced should be written:
INTRODUCING MR. WILSON

PARTY INTRODUCING BY LETTER--WOMEN.
Care should be exercised that the introduction
is agreeable to all concerned.

RECEPTIONS. The man should express desire
for an introduction.

WOMEN. Women calling and meeting others may
be introduced to each other by the hostess.
Upon such an occasion, when a meeting happens
between women, conversation may take
place between them without an introduction.
It does not imply further acquaintance if not
desired.

Extreme etiquette demands that no two
women of the same locality be introduced to
each other without the consent of both parties.
The object of this is that, although the parties
may be agreeable to the hostess, they may
be objectionable to each other.

Women upon being introduced to each
other may shake hands, but a slight inclination
of the body, a smile, and an appropriate
remark are more correct.

When entering a room where others are
assembled, introducing a guest to more than
one person at a time is unadvisable.

Men are introduced to women, single
women to married women, and a young
woman to an older one.

No woman should allow a man to be introduced
to her unless her permission has been
first obtained. The exception would be in the
case of a very elderly man, or a celebrity,
when the honor would be conferred upon her.

A married woman to whom a man is presented
receives him with some pleasant remark.
An unmarried one receives him with
a pleasant smile and repeats his name.

Personal introduction is done by a third
party introducing two persons to each other,
provided it is agreeable to all concerned. Introductions
should be made with extreme
care and caution, and not at all unless one is
well acquainted with both parties.

Outdoor Introductions--as, when meeting
others, or at outdoor sports--need not be
formal, but can be done haphazard. This
does not imply further acquaintance if not
desired.

FORMULA. A woman should introduce her husband
to acquaintances as "My husband,"
and not "Mr."; to intimate friends as
"Henry."

HOSTESS. Introductions to the hostess at an
"At Home," or reception by women assisting
hostess, of those who have been invited to
the entertainment by them, are not recognized
thereafter unless by mutual consent.

The hostess receiving in her own home
should offer her hand to all to whom she is
introduced.

The hostess introduces her immediate family
to all her guests. No formal permission
is necessary.

In the case of one woman desiring an introduction
to another, the hostess should be
asked to bring this about.

INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF. The introduction of one
person to another by letter is as follows: The
party introducing writes the name of the party
he introduces upon his own card, and above
his name the words: Introducing Mr. Wilson
(his friend's name). It is then placed in an
envelope and addressed to the person to whom
the introduction is to be made. On the
lower left-hand corner of the envelope, Introducing
Mr. Wilson, is written, and given to
the bearer unsealed.

The party to whom a letter of introduction
is given should send it by mail to the party
they desire to be introduced to, enclosing
their own card with address, and then await
invitation to call.

This is preferable to calling in person, as
it may not be agreeable or desirable for the
party to open and begin such an acquaintance.

In business introduction, such formality
may be set aside.

If a letter of introduction is personally delivered,
the party presenting it should also
enclose card.

If the party called upon is not at home,
the letter or card should not be left, but sent
by mail or messenger.

The one giving another a letter of introduction
may write to the friend explaining
why it is done, who and what the party is.

If a man sends a letter of introduction to
a woman, she should acknowledge it, and, if
she wishes, invite him to call.

PARTY RECEIVING--WOMEN. The party receiving
cards of introduction should call in person
upon woman introduced; if unable to do
so, a letter should be sent, stating reasons of
inability to be present. A member of the
family may make the call instead. It should
be done within three days.

If not agreeable to receive party for any
reason, a card may be sent or left. No personal
visit need be made.

INVALID'S CALLS. A woman unable to call from sickness
may have her calls made for her by her
sister, or daughter, or some female relative.

INVITATIONS. Care should be exercised in inviting
new acquaintances to breakfast, luncheon, or
dinner, unless there are some particular
reasons why they will be especially agreeable
to those invited.

All invitations should be sent by mail.

Verbal invitations should be avoided as
much as possible, and if a verbal one is given,
it should be followed immediately by one in
writing.

ACCEPTING OR DECLINING. Invitations to all
entertainments, when answers are expected,
should be acknowledged by a written letter
of acceptance or regret. The answer should
be sent to the person or committee issuing the
invitation.

Invitations to dinners, musicales, weddings,
and breakfasts should be answered at
once, and those to balls, dances, and receptions
within one week.

Invitations to ordinary "At Homes," teas,
or weddings, which do not include invitations
to the wedding breakfast or reception,
need no acknowledgment.

The invitations sent to a family--as,
mother, or daughter, or several daughters--
may be answered by one person for all. But
invitations sent to the men of the family
should be answered by each man.

When it is found necessary to decline after
accepting an invitation, a card should be sent
the evening of the entertainment with an explanatory
letter the day following.

BALLS. Invitations to balls or assemblies should
be answered immediately, and if declined the
ticket should be returned.

DANCING. While a woman may accept or decline
any invitation to dance, it is considered a
discourteous act to refuse one man and to accept
thereafter from another an invitation to
the same dance.

WEDDINGS. Such invitations should be answered
at once, except when the invitation does not
include an invitation to the wedding reception
or breakfast, in which case no answer is
needed.

ADDRESSING. When invitations are sent to a
husband and wife and daughter, only one envelope
is needed, the daughter's name appearing
under her parents. Separate envelopes
should be addressed to two daughters--as,
Misses Wilson.

Separate envelopes should be addressed to
each son.

MEN. If an invitation is sent to a man, he should
answer it himself; but if sent to a man and
wife, the latter may answer for both.

TO CALL WITH CHAPERONE'S PERMISSION. If
permission is asked, and if agreeable, a chaperone
should invite a man to call upon her and
her protege.

Every effort should be made to call at the
specified time.

TO CALL ON WOMEN. If a woman invites a man
to call without specifying the time, it is
equivalent to no invitation at all.

TO CALL ON WOMEN THROUGH LETTERS OF
INTRODUCTION. If a man having a letter
of introduction sends the same by mail to a
woman, it should be acknowledged by a written
invitation to call. If the person receiving
the letter does not care to receive the party, a
card is sent which ends the matter.

R. S. V. P. The use of these letters--standing
for "Repondez, s'il vous plait" (Answer, if you
please)--is decreasing. All invitations bearing
these letters should be answered at once.

These may be used on invitations to ceremonious
receptions, breakfasts, luncheons,
dinners, and to meet a prominent person.

WIFE. When a husband and wife are invited to
a dinner, and the former does not accept,
the wife should also decline and give her
reasons. The hostess can then invite the
wife only, who may accept.

WOMEN. A young woman receiving an invitation
to a man's supper, tea, or dinner, may
accept, if she has the consent of her mother
or chaperone, and is assured that a chaperone
will be present.

WOMEN--THEATRE. Women receiving an invitation
from a man for the theatre should have
the consent of mother or chaperone, and when
they accept, may, with propriety, request
their escort not to provide a carriage unless
full dress on their part is requested.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--INVITATIONS.
AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL)--INVITATIONS.

AT HOMES.
See AT HOMES--INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS.
See BACHELORS' DINNERS--INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' TEAS.
See BACHELORS' TEAS--INVITATIONS.

BALLS.
See BALLS--INVITATIONS.

BREAKFASTS.
See BREAKFASTS--INVITATIONS.

BRIDE.
See BRIDE--INVITATIONS.

CHRISTENINGS.
See CHRISTENINGS--INVITATIONS.

COTILLIONS.
See COTILLIONS--INVITATIONS.
See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS--INVITATIONS.

MUSICALES.
See MUSICALES--INVITATIONS.

PALL-BEARERS.
See PALL-BEARERS--INVITATIONS.

PARTIES.
See PARTIES--INVITATIONS.

TELEPHONE.
See TELEPHONE INVITATIONS.

THEATRE.
See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES
GIVEN BY MEN--INVITATIONS.

VERBAL.
See VERBAL INVITATIONS.

IVORY WEDDING. This is the thirtieth wedding anniversary,
and is not usually celebrated. If,
however, it is done, the invitations may bear
the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and in accepting
or declining the invitation congratulations
may be extended. Any article of ivory is appropriate
as a gift. An entertainment is usually
provided.

JEWELRY--MEN. Jewelry, except the very plainest,
should not be worn, and in general the less
the better. A display of diamonds and fancy
jewelry betrays the poor taste of the wearer.

A man wearing the pins and badges of
secret societies should see that they are small
and unobtrusive, for in jewelry, as in all
matters of dress, quality rather than quantity
is to be desired.

JR. When the son is named after the father, he
adds Jr. to his name. Upon the death of the
father he omits it. This abbreviation is
sometimes added to a woman's name on her
card when her husband has the same name as
his father, and it is necessary to distinguish
between the cards of the daughter-in-law
and the mother-in-law.

If the mother-in-law should become a
widow and wish to retain the husband's
baptismal name, she should add Sr., while
her daughter would erase Jr.

If both become widows, and wish to
retain their husband's Christian names, the
daughter-in-law should add Jr.

JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT--HOW
ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir,
and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain
your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Justice Wilson,
and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Mr. Justice
John J. Wilson.

KING OF ENGLAND--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter
begins: Sir, may it please your Majesty, and
ends: I have the honor to remain your Majesty's
most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir, and ends:
I have the honor to remain your Majesty's
most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To His
Most Gracious Majesty, King Edward.

KISS, WEDDING. The kiss in the wedding ceremony
is being done away with, especially at church
weddings. Only the bride's parents and her
most intimate friends should kiss her, and
for others to do so is no longer good form.

KNIFE AND FORK. The knife is always held in the
right hand, and is only used for cutting the
food. The fork is used not only in eating
fish, meat, vegetables, and made dishes, but
also ices, frozen puddings, melons, salads,
oysters, clams, lobsters, and terrapin.

The knife should never be used to carry
food to the mouth.

See also AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

WEDDING. See WEDDING RECEPTIONS.

REFRESHMENTS.

WEDDING RECEPTIONS. The refreshments are
placed on tables, and the guests help themselves
or are helped by the bridesmaids.
The groom and bride are waited upon by the
guests.

REGISTER, SIGNING OF. This is sometimes done by
the bride and the groom. This takes place
in the vestry, and the best man signs as chief
witness and some of the guests as witnesses.

REHEARSALS, WEDDING. Rehearsals should be held
even for a quiet home wedding, and at a sufficiently
early date to insure the presence of
all who are to participate.

REPORTERS AT WEDDINGS. If such is the wish of the
family of the bride, the best man attends to
the reporters, and furnishes them with the
names of groom, bride, relatives, friends, description
of gowns, and other suitable details.

RESIDENCE, CHANGE OF--WOMEN. After a change of
residence, the cards of the entire family should
be sent out as soon as possible.

RESTAURANTS. If at a table, and a woman bows, the
man should rise and bow in return. If a
man is one of a party sitting at a table, and a
woman with her escort stops to pass greetings,
he should rise and stand until they depart.

One man introduced to another who is surrounded
by male friends should rise to acknowledge
the honor of the introduction.

When a man is with a woman he should
exercise great care in recognizing male acquaintances
who may be in doubtful company.
He should avoid being in such company
himself when in such places.

Smoking in restaurants is a general custom.
The rules of the house govern this.

All fees to the waiters should be paid by
the one who pays the bills. If a woman is
paying her own bill when with a man, it is
in order for her to fee the waiter.

RIBBONS AT CHURCH WEDDINGS. One way of
distinguishing the pews reserved for the family,
relatives, and dearest friends of both families
is the placing of white ribbons at the dividing
pews. Before the arrival of the bride,
the ushers, in pairs, at the same time, untie
these ribbons, and stretch them along the
outside of these pews, and thus enclose the
guests and bar further intrusion.

If these ribbons are used, it is a good
plan to enclose in the wedding invitation a
card giving number of pew.

The advantage of not using ribbons is the
avoidance of any possible discrimination.

RICE AT WEDDINGS. The throwing of rice is to be
discouraged; but if it is to be done, the maid
of honor should prepare packages of rice
and hand them to the guests, who throw it
after the bridal couple as they leave the house
for their wedding trip.

RIDING.

MEN. When riding with a woman, a man should
always assist her both to mount and to
alight, even if a groom is present.

It is customary for the woman to set the
pace, and for the man, who always rides on
her right, to accommodate himself to her--
trotting, galloping, or walking his horse as
she may do.

He should always be ready to open all
gates for her, and to do all things that will
make the riding pleasant for her. If at a
fox-hunt, this would mean that he must be
ready to sacrifice much of his personal pleasure
that she may enjoy herself.

DRESS. There is a perfectly well-accepted
dress for men who ride in the park, though
it is open to elderly men to wear clothes less
pronounced.

The correct dress is full riding-breeches,
close-fitting at the knee, leggings, a high-buttoned
waistcoat, and a coat with the conventional
short cutaway tails. The hat is an
alpine or a derby, and the tie the regulation
stock. These, with riding-gloves and a
riding-crop, constitute the regular riding-dress
for a young man.

A man should always consult his tailor,
that the dress in all its details may be strictly
up to date.

WOMEN--DRESS. There is a well-prescribed
riding-dress for women as for men. The
habit of dark material, with skirt falling just
over the feet when in the saddle, and the
close-fitting waist, with long or short tails,
together with the white collar and black or
white tie, constitute the regulation dress.
The derby hat is smaller than formerly.
Gloves of a dark color and a crop with a
bone handle are always in place. Any
jewelry, save that which is absolutely necessary,
should be shunned.

In summer it is permissible to modify this
costume.

As in the case of a man, a woman should
consult a tailor of good practical experience,
that her costume may be in the correct style.

RING, ENGAGEMENT. See ENGAGEMENT RING.

RING, WEDDING. See WEDDING RING.

RISING FROM THE TABLE. The signal to leave the
table is always given by the women, and the
men rise to let the women pass. At a formal
dinner the signal is given by the hostess.

SALT is best taken up with the tip of the knife.

SALTED NUTS are eaten with the fingers.

SEAT OF HONOR is at the right of the host.

SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties, luncheons,
and breakfasts, second helpings are
never offered by the host or hostess, and
should not be asked for by the guests. This
is only permissible at a small dinner party
or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second
glass of water, for which the guest asks, or
for wine. It is the duty of the waiter to see
that the guest is constantly supplied.

SECOND MARRIAGES. See WIDOWS--WEDDINGS.

SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE. See AGRICULTURE, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF COMMERCE. See COMMERCE, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF INTERIOR. SEE INTERIOR, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF NAVY. SEE NAVY, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF STATE. See STATE, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF TREASURY. See TREASURY, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF WAR. SEE WAR, SECRETARY OF.

SEEDS should be removed from the mouth with the
aid of a fork, or dropped into the half-closed
hand.

SENATOR--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins:
Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to
remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Senator
Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely
yours.

The address on the envelope is: Senator
John J. Wilson, or, To the Hon. John J.
Wilson.

SERVANTS-TIPPING. It is customary for guests leaving
a house after a visit to tip the servants,
unless positively requested by the hostess not
to do so. The average tip would be one
dollar, with more for extra attention.

SHAKING HANDS.

DANCES. It is not customary to shake hands at
formal dances.

HOST AND HOSTESS. The host and the hostess
should shake hands with each guest as they
arrive.

If guest takes leave of host and hostess,
they should shake hands. If they are
surrounded by guests, a pleasant nod of farewell
is admissible.

MEN. At a wedding, the opera, or a dance, and
all very formal occasions, gloves should not
be removed when shaking hands.

If the hostess wears gloves at any formal
affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands
with her. He should give a slight pressure
only.

A man with hands gloved should never
shake hands with a woman without an apology
for so doing, unless she likewise wears
gloves. A sudden meeting, etc., may make
a handshaking in gloves unavoidable. Unless
the other party is gloved, a man should
apologize.

When men are introduced to men, they
always shake hands. It is bad form to crush
the hand when shaking it.

When introduced to a woman, men should
bow, but not offer to shake hands.

CALLS. If the woman is seated when a man enters
the room, she rises to greet him, and, if
she wishes, shakes hands. She has the
option to shake hands or not, and should
make the first advances. It is bad form for
him to do so.

WOMEN. Upon introduction, a woman may
shake hands with either men or women, but
a slight inclination of the body, a pleasant
smile, and an appropriate remark are more
correct.

A young girl, upon being introduced to an
older woman, should await the action of the
elder, who will shake hands if kindly disposed.

If one person extends the hand, it should
be accepted without the slightest hesitation,
to avoid embarrassment.

SIGNING LETTERS. See ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS.

SILK WEDDINGS. This is the name of the forty-fifth
wedding anniversary, and is now seldom observed.
If it is, any article of silk would be
appropriate as a gift, and congratulations
may be extended in accepting or declining
the invitations. The invitations may have
the words: No presents received. An entertainment
usually follows.

SILVER WEDDINGS. After twenty-five years of married
life, the silver wedding may be celebrated.
On the invitations sent out may be
engraved the words: No presents received.

Congratulations may be extended in accepting
or declining the invitation. Any article
of silver is appropriate as a gift. An entertainment
follows.

At a silver wedding the invitations may be
appropriately engraved in a silver-gray color,
and the decorations are usually of the same
color.

SLIPPERS-THROWING AT WEDDINGS. The throwing of
slippers after the bridal couple on their leaving
the house for their wedding trip is in
poor taste.

SMOKING. At a dinner when the women rise, the
men also rise and remain standing until the
former leave the room, when cigars and coffee
are served. Sometimes the men accompany
the women to the drawing-room, bow, and
then return to the dining-room for the coffee
and cigars, where they remain about half an
hour.

Smoking in restaurants is a general custom,
but the rules of the house govern it.
Theatres provide rooms for it, hence it should
be limited to them.

There should be no smoking at afternoon
entertainments, unless the men are requested
to do so by the host and hostess.

At balls a room for smoking is generally
provided. Smoking is not in good taste if a
man is going to dance, as the odor of tobacco
clings to the clothing. There should be no
smoking in the dressing-rooms.

Smoking a pipe in the street is becoming
more common. It is poor taste, however, on
a fashionable street. At best, any smoking
in the street is bad form.

Expectorating on the pavement is a most
reprehensible habit. If it must be done, a
man should step to the curb and expectorate
in the street.

DANCES. Smoking should not be allowed in the
dressing-room, but a special room should be
provided. Men who dance should not smoke
until leaving the house.

IN PRESENCE OF WOMEN. Smoking in the
street while walking with a woman should
never be indulged in, although she seemingly
is agreeable to it. If a man is smoking, and
he stops to speak to a woman, he should
throw away his cigar or cigarette.

A man should not smoke in the presence
of women unless bidden by them to do so.
Few women care to say that it is disagreeable
when asked, hence the better course is to
await permission.

WOMEN. If a woman has true regard for herself,
she should not indulge in smoking; if she
does, it should be in absolute privacy.

SON.

BALLS. A son should do all in his power to
make the ball a success by finding partners
for the women having none, seeing that the
men are introduced to the women, and taking
in to supper a woman without an escort.

CARDS. When a mother is calling, she can leave
cards of her son for the host and hostess if it
is impossible for him to do so himself.

A son entering society can have his cards
left by his mother for a host and hostess.
Invitations to entertainments will follow.

SON (YOUNGER) OF DUKE-HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: My Lord, and ends: I have
the honor to remain your Lordship's obedient
servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable the Lord John J. Kent.

A social letter begins: My dear Lord John
J. Kent, and ends: Believe me, my dear Lord
John, faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lord John J. Kent.

SON (YOUNGER) OF EARL-HOW ADDRESSED, An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the
honor to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: Believe me, dear Mr. Wilson, sincerely
yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Honorable John Wilson.

SON (YOUNGER) OF MARQUIS--HOW ADDRESSED. An
official letter begins: My Lord, and ends: I
have the honor to remain your Lordship's obedient
servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Right Honorable the Lord John J. Kent.

A social letter begins: My dear Lord John
J. Kent, and ends: Believe me, my dear Lord
Kent, faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lord John J. Kent,

SON (YOUNGER) OF VISCOUNT-HOW ADDRESSED. An
official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have
the honor to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: Believe me, dear Mr. Wilson, sincerely
yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Honorable John Wilson.

SOUP should be taken from the side of the spoon
without noise and without the plate being
tipped. Men with mustaches are privileged
in this respect, and may take the soup from
the end of the spoon.

SOUVENIRS.

BRIDESMAIDS. These are given by the bride to
her bridesmaids a few days before the wedding,
and take the form of fans or jewelry of
some kind that may be worn at the wedding.

A good time to present them is when the
bride gives a farewell dinner or luncheon to
her bridesmaids.

Failing this, they may be sent a few days
before the wedding.

The souvenirs should, of course, be all the
same in value and in style.

USHERS. The souvenirs given by the groom to
the ushers usually take the form of scarf-pins
or cuff-buttons. Sometimes the groom
also gives the ushers neckties and gloves.

A good time for their distribution is at the
farewell bachelor dinner.

SPONSORS. Only relatives and near friends should
be asked to act as sponsors at a christening.
Two women and one man are asked as sponsors
for a girl, and one woman and two men
for a boy, though one man and one woman
are sufficient in either case.

These may be invited by note or personal
call to act as sponsors, and should answer by
note or personal call.

A few days before the ceremony the sponsor
should send a christening gift addressed
to the child, and the giver's card, with a
suitable sentiment written on it, should be
sent with the gift.

A man may give some article of silver, and,
if a wealthy relative, a bank-book for money
deposited in the child's name.

A woman may present the child with a
garment, a carriage, a cradle, or some similar
article.

It is in good taste for the sponsors to call
immediately on the parents, to send flowers
to the mother, and to show that they are
pleased with the compliment.

The godfather at the ceremony assents to
the vows, and later, at the drinking of the
wine, should propose both the health of the
child and that of its mother.

SPOON. The spoon should never be in the cup while
drinking, but should be left in the saucer.
It is used in eating grapefruit, fruit salads,
small and large fruit (when served with
cream), puddings, jellies, porridges, preserves,
and boiled eggs.

SR, The letters SR. (abbreviation for Senior) are
sometimes added to a woman's name on her
card when her son has the same name as
his father, and it is necessary to distinguish
between the cards of the daughter-in-law and
the mother-in-law.

If both become widows, and yet wish to
retain their husbands' Christian names, the
daughter-in-law would add Jr. on her cards.

STAG PARTIES. A party composed of men exclusively
is sometimes so designated. They
are usually informal in character, but may be
as elaborate in detail as desired.

DRESS. The Tuxedo coat and black tie is worn,
unless at a formal stag party, when evening
dress is appropriate.

STATE, SECRETARY OF-HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir,
the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain most
sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary of State.

STATIONERY.

MEN. The variations from plainness and quietness
in the use of stationery that are permitted
women are denied to men. Their
paper is never perfumed, and all fancy styles
are in poor taste.

For his social correspondence a man should
use white or gray linen or bank-note unruled
paper, folding once in the envelope.

He may, of course, use for social correspondence
his club stationery.

Under no circumstances should he use his
business stationery for social correspondence.

WOMEN. Unruled plain white or gray paper,
that folds once in the envelope, and black
ink, are the standard materials for social correspondence.

While it is permissible to use some of the
latest fancy stationery, care should be taken
that it is quiet in taste, and that all merely
temporary variations are avoided.

While it is better not to use perfumed
paper, if any perfume is used it should be
extremely delicate.

Elderly women are apt to favor Irish linen
or similar stationery.

STRANGERS-INVITATIONS TO A BALL ASKED FOR BY FRIENDS.
See BALLS-INVITATIONS ASKED FOR STRANGERS.

STREET-CARS AND OTHER CONVEYANCES.

MEN. The old custom of a man giving up his
seat in a street-car to a woman is being gradually
done away with. This is due largely
to the fact that women are now so extensively
engaged in commercial business that
they are constant riders at the busy hours,
end thus come into direct competition with
men.

A well-bred man, however, will show his
manliness by giving any woman his seat and
standing himself, as she is less fitted for such
hardships and annoyances. A man should
always give his seat to an elderly woman,
one accompanied with children, or one apparently
weak and sickly. In giving his seat
to a woman, a man should politely bow and
raise his hat.

It is good form for a man to assist a woman
getting on or off a car. If a man is accompanied
by a woman when she leaves the car,
he should help her off the car.

A man should always be polite and courteous
toward a conductor, as the latter's
position is a hard and trying one.

A man should never cross his legs or keep
his feet extended in the passageway.

If a man finds it necessary to crowd into a
car already full, he should do so with consideration
and politeness, and with an apology
for pressing against any one. It is better to
stand than to crowd yourself into a small
space between those who are seated.

EXPENSES. A man traveling with another man
can pay the latter's fare if he wishes. But
if he is accompanied by a woman he should
pay her fare. If he is in the car, and other
acquaintances, men or women, enter, they
should pay their own fares.

WOMEN. A woman should not look with a
pained and injured air at the men passengers
because no one of them has offered her a seat.
The great influx of women into the commercial
world, and their being thrown into direct
competition with men, has largely done away
with the fine old custom of men giving up
their seats to women. The impoliteness of
many women in accepting a seat as a matter
of right and not of courtesy, and perhaps
without a "Thank you," has helped largely
to bring about the present state of affairs.
No woman of ordinary good manners should
fail to express her thanks for the courtesy
proffered. If a woman is offered a seat she
should accept it at once-without urging.

A man may assist a woman in getting off
a car. If a woman is accompanied by a man
and she leaves the car, he should assist her
to alight.

A woman should wait till a car absolutely
stops before she gets on or off, and she
should face the front when leaving the car.

If possible, a woman should have her car-fare
handy or easy of access-preferably in
her hand-before entering the car if it is
crowded. A woman should avoid crowding
into a small space between others, and it is
better for her to stand than to occupy barely
the edge of a seat. If it is absolutely necessary
for her to enter a crowded car, she
should do so with an apology to those whom
she may crowd.

CONDUCTOR. A conductor occupies a difficult
and trying position, and will always appreciate
any courtesy shown him by a woman.
If a woman desires a transfer, she should let
him know in ample time; if she wants any information
from him, she should ask him when
paying her fare, and should indicate her desire
to leave the car at least a block ahead of
her street. A woman should not trust to a
conductor to remember her street, even if she
has asked him, but should look out for the
street herself.

EXPENSES. If a woman is in a car and a man
joins her, and the fare is not yet collected, she
should pay her own fare. But if she is traveling
with an escort she should not offer to
pay her fare, as her escort pays the expenses.

STREET ETIQUETTE.

MEN. If a man is passed on the street without
any recognition by an acquaintance, he should
hesitate before accepting it as a direct cut, as
it may have been an oversight. If it is repeated,
he will know its full meaning.

To pass a person whom one knows and to
look straight at him without recognition is
the rudest way of dropping an acquaintance.

A man should avoid loud and boisterous
behavior.

If a man is compelled to force his way
through a crowded street, he should do so
courteously and with an apology to any one
inconvenienced by his act.

In walking three or four abreast, men
should be careful not to obstruct the thoroughfare,
but should quickly fall into single
file when necessary.

A man should greet his acquaintances on
the street quietly and courteously, and if on
a crowded street, should step out of the way
of persons and be brief in his remarks.

In all public places and conveyances a
man should offer his seat to a woman, though
he is not expected to do so when reserved
seats can be obtained--as, in a theatre, at
an opera, etc.

ACCIDENTS. In case of accident or danger a man
should protect the woman whom he escorts,
and take her to a place of safety. If her
clothing is torn, or she has met with some
accident of which she is unaware, a man may,
if he desires, politely raise his hat and call
her attention to the fact. If by accident a
man jostles a woman or steps upon her dress,
he should raise his hat, bow, and apologize,
whether he knows her or not.

BOWING. A man should not bow to a woman
until she has first recognized him, unless they
are old acquaintances.

A man should acknowledge the salutation
of a woman on the street, even if he does not
know her, as it saves her from embarrassment
at her mistake.

When bidding farewell to a woman after a
conversation on the street, a man should bow
and raise his hat.

If a man offers his seat to a woman in a car
or other conveyance, he should raise his hat
and bow, while her escort acknowledges the
courtesy by doing the same.

When a man opens a door for a woman
unknown to him, he should bow, while she
enters in advance of him.

A man should raise his hat and bow on all
occasions when offering any courtesy to a
woman, whether stranger or acquaintance.

A man may bow to an elderly man or person
of official position.

A man may offer his services to a woman
in crossing a crowded thoroughfare, and
should raise his hat and bow when she is
safely over, but should, make no comment
unless she does so first. He may also offer
her assistance in getting on or off a car, raising
his hat and bowing without remark.

If a man is accompanied by a woman and
another man extends a courtesy to her, he
should acknowledge it by bowing and giving
a polite "Thank you."

If when walking with a man a woman
meets a male acquaintance who bows, her
escort should raise his hat and bow, though
the two men are strangers to each other. If
the escort meets a man known to him, both
men should raise their hats and bow.

CANES AND UMBRELLAS. These should be carried
vertically, never horizontally, thereby
endangering other persons' eyes. Especially
is this important when entering cars or going
up long flights of steps-as, the stairs of the
elevated railroad.

CONVERSATION. A man who meets a woman,
and desires to engage in conversation with
her, should ask permission to accompany her.
If this is granted, he may proceed a short
distance, unless requested to go farther.

When meeting a woman on the street and
stopping to converse with her, a man should
raise his hat and replace it, as it is not now
in good form for a man to remain bareheaded
until requested by the woman to replace his
hat.

A man should avoid stopping a woman on
the street to engage her in conversation.

Only an intimate acquaintance with a woman
warrants a man joining her on the street. If
it is not agreeable, it may be very embarrassing
to her.

SMOKING. A man should never smoke while
walking with a woman on a street. Smoking
on fashionable thoroughfares is bad form.

A man should avoid expectorating upon a
sidewalk, and, if it must be done, should
walk to the curb and use the street for that
purpose.

WALKING. A man should not walk between two
women, but at the side nearest the curb.

When walking with a woman, a man
should walk near the curb, unless passing
an obstruction-as, a building in course of
construction-when she should have the outer
side to protect her from harm, or from coming
in contact with disagreeable things.

A man should offer his right arm to a
woman, but this is rarely necessary in the
daytime. It is essential, however, and
proper for him to do so after dark.

WOMEN. Conduct on the street should always
be reserved. It is bad form to loudly laugh
or to boldly glance at the passers-by, especially
men.

Women should never walk three or four
abreast.

Women may salute each other with a bow
and a handshake, but a kiss in public is no
longer in good form.

During a promenade, where friends pass
and repass, it is not necessary to exchange
greetings to each other.

A polite "Thank you," with a bow and a
smile, should be the reward of any man extending
a courtesy to a woman.

BOWING. It is the woman's privilege to determine
whom she will publicly recognize, and
therefore she should bow first to all men
whom she desires to favor. This formality
is, however, unnecessary with intimate
friends.

UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically,
and never horizontally under the arm.

WALKING. If a woman is walking with a man,
and another man stops to speak, it would be
in exceeding bad taste to ask him to join her.

A woman should take a man's right arm,
but only after dark, unless for some special
reason-as, weakness, etc.-it is necessary.

If a woman is walking alone, and a man of
her acquaintance stops and speaks, he may
ask permission to accompany her farther,
which, if agreeable, should be granted. She
may stop for a few moments' chat, and shake
hands if she wishes. If he stands before her
with uncovered head, she should promptly
ask him to replace his hat. She should not
block the thoroughfare, and should take the
initiative if he does not step to one side.
If agreeable, an invitation may be extended
to him to walk a short distance.

SUBSCRIPTION BALLS.
MEN. Shortly after receiving an invitation to a
subscription ball, a man should leave a card
for the patroness inviting him.

INVITATIONS. In addition to the regular invitations,
it is customary to guard against the
admission of persons not really invited by
the use of vouchers to be shown at the
hall door, or some similar precaution is
taken.

When a subscriber sends an invitation and
a voucher, he should send in the same
envelope one of his calling cards.

SUNDAY CALLS. Informal calls may be made on
Sunday after three o'clock by business and
professional men, provided there are no religious
or other scruples on the part of those receiving
the calls.

Men should wear afternoon dress.

SUPPERS GIVEN BY MEN--WOMEN. A young woman
may accept a man's invitation, provided she
has the consent of her mother or guardian,
and is assured that a chaperone will be present.

SUPPERS--MEN. Suppers are generally for men.
The hours are from ten to eleven. A man can
give such entertainments in bachelor apartments
or restaurant, and if women are invited,
chaperones should be present.

The invitations may be given personally,
written, or a visiting-card may be used,
giving hour and date. If the supper is given in
honor of a special guest, engraved cards or
note sheets are used.

Suppers may be of various kinds--such as
Fish, Game, Wine, Champagne.

SUPPERS AND THEATRE PARTIES.
MEN. A man should not invite a young woman
to a theatre party or supper without inviting
her mother or a chaperone to accompany
them. At large theatre parties or suppers,
when there are ten or more guests, several
chaperones should be invited. Any married
or elderly unmarried woman can act as
chaperone, care being taken that they are
well-known and agreeable to all, as much of the
pleasure of the evening depends upon them.
CARRIAGES. A conveyance holding a large party
can be sent to take invited guests to the
entertainment. The chaperone should be
called for first, and should be the last one to
be left at home upon returning. The chaperones
may use their own carriages and call
for guests if they desire. If the chaperones
call for the guests, the men can be met at the
place of amusement. Conveyances should
be provided for guests.

SUPPERS GIVEN BY BACHELORS.
See BACHELORS' SUPPERS.

TABLE ETIQUETTE. It is correct to take a little of all
that is offered, though one may not care for it.
Bend slightly over the plate when carrying
the food to the mouth, resuming upright
position afterward.

When drinking from a cup or glass, raise it
gracefully to the mouth and sip the contents.
Do not empty the vessel at one draught.

Guests should not amuse themselves by
handling knife or fork, crumbling bread, or
leaning their arms on the table. They should
sit back in their chairs and assume an easy
position.

A guest at a dinner should not pass a plate
or any article to another guest, or serve the
viands, unless asked to do so by the hostess.

Upon leaving the table, push the chair
back far enough to be out of the way of others.

ACCIDENTS. Accidents, or anything that may be
amiss at the table, should be unobserved by a
guest unless he is the cause of it. In that
event some pleasant remark as to his awkwardness
should be made and no more. The
waiter should attend to the matter at once.

If a fork or a spoon is dropped it should
not be picked up by the guest, but another
used, or ask the waiter to provide one.

CONVERSATION. Aim at bright and general conversation,
avoiding all personalities and any
subject that all cannot join in. This is
largely determined by the character of the
company. The guests should accommodate
themselves to their surroundings.

See also FINGER-BOWL, KNIFE AND FORK,
SECOND HELPING, SEEDS, SPOON, TOOTHPICKS,
WINES, and names of individual fruits and
foods--as, APPLES, BREAD, etc.

TALKING--THEATRES. Conversation during the progress
of the play or the opera should be
avoided and confined to the intermissions.
The theatregoer should avoid all noise, gestures,
or actions that would annoy others.

A man would be justified, when annoyed by
a person talking loud near him, in asking
him politely to speak lower.

TEAS.

Invitations. These need no acknowledgment.

Given by bachelors.
See BACHELORS' TEAS.

Afternoon.
See AFTERNOON TEAS.

High.
See HIGH TEA.

TELEPHONE INVITATIONS. Telephone invitations should
be sent only to those with whom the utmost
intimacy exists, and who will pardon the
informality.

THEATRE. A young man may invite a young woman
to the theatre or opera, even if he has but a
slight acquaintance with her, but of course
he should secure the permission of her parents
or chaperone.

It is correct for the young man to inquire
if the young woman prefers a box, or, if not,
he should state in what part of the house he
proposes to secure seats. This will enable
her to determine how to dress.

If the young woman wears street toilette,
her escort may take her in any public conveyance,
but if she wears evening dress, he
should provide a carriage.

At the theatre he should precede the woman
down the aisle to the seat or box; but if it is
the latter, he should open the door and wait
for her to pass.

A man may use his judgment as to the aisle
seat. If a better view can be had, or seemingly
objectionable people are next the inside
seat, it is perfectly proper to give the woman
the aisle seat.

A man should never leave his companion
between the acts. The custom of both men
and women going into the foyer at that time
is a growing one, and is a relief to the
audience.

Refreshments at some fashionable place
may follow after the entertainment.

For a man to call on an acquaintance in an
opera box does not relieve one of the duty of
making a formal call in return for social
favors.

BONNET. A woman of any consideration will
either wear no bonnet at all or remove it as
soon as the curtain is raised.

It would be in place for a man or woman
whose view is hampered by a bonnet to politely
ask the wearer to remove it, and when
it is done, to thank her.

MEN--LEAVING CARDS. After a theatre party
given by a man, he should call within three
days on the woman he escorted or leave his
card.

PRECEDENCE. In entering a theatre a man precedes
the women of his party, but after he
has handed his coupons to the ushers he
gives the women precedence, and follows
them to their seats.

TALKING. Conversation during the progress of
the play or the opera should be avoided, and
confined to the intermissions.

The theatregoer should avoid all noise,
gestures, or actions tending to annoy others
or to render himself conspicuous.

A man would be justified, when annoyed
by a person talking loud near him, in asking
him politely to speak lower.

THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES.

GIVEN BY MEN. A man giving a theatre or
opera party should secure one or more
chaperones if women are to be present.

CALLS. The host should call upon his guests
within three days or a week after the event.

CARRIAGES. The host may, if he choose, send
carriages or a stage to collect all the guests.
This is a formal and agreeable way to begin
the evening's pleasure. The chaperone
should be called for first. A more informal
way is quite popular. The invitations having
been given and accepted, the host informs
each of his guests as to the others, and leaves
a ticket with each one. All then meet
informally at the place of amusement. If a
dinner is given before the entertainment,
carriages are provided to convey the guests
to the theatre.

CHAPERONE. A chaperone should always be
present if women are to be members of the
party. And if a stage or carriage calls for
the guests, it should call first for the
chaperone.

The chaperone who acts as hostess should
decide the hour to close the festivities.

DINNERS. If a dinner is given before the performance,
it is generally given at six o'clock,
the usual customs being followed. If preferred,
the dinner may follow the performance,
and may be given at any fashionable
restaurant or hotel. If it is given before the
play, at its termination the guests are conveyed
in carriages or stage to the theatre at
the expense of the host.

After the entertainment it is a good plan
for the party to return to the banqueting-room
to partake of slight refreshments.

DRESS. Men wear evening dress. Women wear
full evening dress.

INVITATIONS. He may invite his guests in person
or by note. In either case he should secure
the parents' permission to allow the
young women to attend, and should be ready
to supply all information regarding the men
who will be present, and also the chaperones.

MEN. The escorts should see the women home
unless they are called for by the male members
of their families, in which case they may
be accompanied to their conveyances. If a
young woman is called for by her maid in a
carriage, her escort may take her home.

Intimacy of the parties largely regulates
the etiquette of such occasions. They can
decide whether evening or street dress shall
be worn, and seat themselves accordingly.
A carriage should be provided.

When entering an opera or theatre box for
a short call, a man should stand and bow,
making some pleasant remark to the chaperone.
If there is an empty chair, he may sit
and talk a few minutes and retire as others
enter.

WOMEN. Between the acts it is perfectly proper
to go into the foyer with the escort, who
should carry the woman's wraps and see that
all her wants are attended to. Should she
desire anything, she should call on him first.

The hat or bonnet should be removed.

In a box the women occupy the front row
while the men sit or stand in the rear.

A woman should avoid conspicuous
manners, loud conversation, laughing, or acting
in any way to attract attention.

GIVEN BY WOMEN. This is a popular form of entertainment
during the season. They are
given by married women, and the guests are
invited by note. A dinner is given at the
house or at a restaurant before the departure
for the opera or play. Refreshments
may also be given after the entertainment at
either the house or restaurant. At the dinner
the same ceremonies are followed as to
arrangements of guests and escorts as at any
formal dinner.

TOASTS--WEDDINGS. Toasts to the bride and groom
are customary at the wedding breakfast or
supper.

If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner,
he should propose a toast to the bride.

THEATRE PARTIES. See also CHAPERONE-MEN.
CHAPERONE-THEATRE.

THIRD PERSON-USED IN CORRESPONDENCE. While it
was formerly the correct usage to begin
formal communications in the third person, it
is now the custom to begin such letters: MY
DEAR MRS SMITH, or MADAM.

The third person would be used only in
writing to a workman, a strange servant, or
a business firm.

TIN WEDDING. After ten years of marriage, occurs
the tin wedding. The invitations sent out
may have the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED.
Congratulations may be extended in accepting
or declining the invitation.

Every conceivable device made of tin is
appropriate as a gift, but, as these are limited,
ingenuity may be displayed in getting up
oddities. An entertainment may follow.

TIPPING.
At balls. It is not customary to tip the servants
at a private ball, but at a public one
it is usual to give a tip to the attendant at
the cloak-room.

At christenings. The father usually gives
the nurse at a christening a sum of money,
and the mother gives her some article of
dress or piece of jewelry.

At house; parties. See HOUSE PARTIES. GUESTS.
TIPPING SERVANTS. Also under names of
servants--as, COACHMAN.

TITLES.
MEN'S CARDS. Men having titles use them before
their names--as, REVEREND, REV. MR.,
REV. DR., Army and Navy titles, and
officers on the retired list.

LL.D. and all professional titles are placed
after the name. Political and judicial titles
are always omitted.

Physicians may use DR. before or M.D.
after their names. On cards intended for
social use, office hours and other professional
matters are omitted.

WOMEN'S CARDS. The same principles govern
the titles on women's cards, with the addition
that women should never use titles of their
husbands.

TOOTHPICKS should not be used in public. If necessity
requires it, raise the napkin over the
mouth, with the hand behind it, using the
toothpick as quickly as possible.

TOWN, RETURNING TO-WOMEN. Cards of the entire
family should be sent by mail to all acquaintances
when returning after a prolonged
absence.

When using cards, if out of town, the
place of a woman's permanent residence can
be written on the card thus: NEW YORK.
PHILADELPHIA.

TRAVELERS' VISITING-CARDS. A woman visiting a place
for a length of time should mail to her friends
a visiting-card containing her temporary address.

A man in a similar situation should call
upon his friends, and if he does not find
them at home should leave his card.

TRAVELING.

MEN WITH WOMEN. When traveling with a
woman, a man should see to the checking
and care of her baggage.

MEN. As it is exceedingly trying and difficult
for a woman to stand in a railroad train while
it is in motion, it is the height of good manners
for a man to offer her his seat and to
insist on her taking it.

EXPENSES. On a short boat or railroad trip a
man should pay the expenses of a woman
who accompanies him by his invitation. But
on a long trip she should insist on paying
her share, and he should accept her decision.
Of course, he is at liberty, however, to pay
all the expenses of slight entertainments-as,
fruit, magazines, etc.

He should see to the care of her baggage
and all other details.

PARLOR-CAR. When traveling a long distance
accompanied by a woman, a man should secure
seats in the parlor-car.

While it is admissible to offer assistance to
a woman traveling in a parlor-car without an
escort, it should be done in the most polite
and delicate manner, and be perfectly agreeable to her.

WOMEN. If a woman arrives at a strange place,
especially a large city, and no one meets her,
she should ask the station porter to attend to
her baggage and all such details, and, if
traveling farther, to see to her ticket and to
find for her the right train.

If at the end of her journey she gives him
the address she desires to go to and her trunk
checks, he should procure a carriage for her.
This saves her much worry and annoyance
and needless risk.

The same suggestions apply to steamboat
travel.

EXPENSES. If a woman is asked by a man to
take a short boat or railroad trip, he should
pay her fare and all other expenses. But if
on a long trip--as, a summer outing--and she
is escorted by a man, she should insist on
paying her own fare and all expenses, allowing
him, however, to pay the expenses of
slight entertainment--as, fruit, magazines,
etc.

PARLOR-CAR. Her escort should attend to all
details of traveling. If she is traveling
alone, she should always ride in the parlor-car
and have the porter attend to her wants.
While it may be proper to accept in a parlor-car
attentions from a man if he is accompanied
by a woman, the greatest caution is
required if he is alone; in fact, it is well to be
on one's guard, when traveling alone, against
the attentions of both men and women.

TREASURY, SECRETARY OF--HOW ADDRESSED. An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, Sir, the
honor to remain your most obedient servant

A social letter begins: My Dear MR. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain
most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary Of Treasury.

TROUSSEAU, WEDDING. The bride exhibits the trousseau
at a dinner given to the bridesmaids and
maid of honor a few days before the wedding.

TURNING DOWN CORNER OF VISITING-CARDS. This
should not be done.

TUXEDO. The Tuxedo coat and waistcoat are worn
at all informal affairs when no women are
present, such as small theatre parties (when
not occupying a box), bowling and card
parties, restaurants, and the like.

It may be worn on the street in the
evening with a low hat. A black tie should
always be worn, and never, under any
circumstances, a white one.
See also EVENING DRESS--MEN.

UMBRELLAS.
MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. When making a
formal or brief call, the umbrella should be
left in the hall.

CARRYING. Umbrellas should be carried
vertically, never horizontally, thereby endangering
other persons' eyes. Especially is this
important when entering cars or going up long
flights of steps--as, at an elevated railroad
station.

USHERS. A sufficient number of ushers should be
provided for to allow of two for each aisle.
A good plan is to have one selected as the
master of ceremonies, and for him to go to
the church on the wedding-day in ample
time to personally see that all the details
have been carried out. They should be
present at all rehearsals.

The ushers are usually presented by the
groom with some small trinket, such as a
pin, as a souvenir of the occasion.

CALLS. The ushers should call upon the married
couple as soon as the latter have returned
from their wedding trip.

CHURCH. The ushers should arrive at the
church before the guests.

Each usher should have a list of all the
intended guests for whom special places are set
aside, and should check off the names of the
guests as they arrive. He should know the
various guests and where to place them; but
if he does not know them personally, he
should consult his list.

The upper ends of the middle aisles of
both sides are usually reserved for invited
guests, and are distinguished from the rest
of the church by having a white ribbon or a
string of flowers stretched across the aisle.
The immediate family and special guests
occupy the front seats, the family and the
guests of the bride taking the left side and
those of the groom the right side of the
aisle. Other guests should be given the best
seats, according to their priority in arriving.

It is in bad taste for an usher to reserve
seats for his own friends as against the
first-comers.

In seating guests, the usher should give
his left arm to a woman and escort her to
her seat while her escort follows.

Before the arrival of the bridal party the
ushers take the ribbons at either end, and,
walking the length of the aisle, close it
against intrusion. Upon the arrival of the
bride they form in pairs in the vestibule and
lead the procession, followed by the bridesmaids,
also in pairs. When they approach
the altar they separate, one-half to the right
and one-half to the left. The bridesmaids do
likewise, and stand in front of the ushers.

At the conclusion of the ceremony they
follow last in the procession to the vestibule,
where, after giving their best wishes to the
bride and congratulations to the groom, they
hasten as soon as possible to the bride's home
to assist in introducing and meeting the
guests at the reception or breakfast.

DRESS. At a morning or afternoon wedding they
wear black frock coats.

At an evening wedding they wear full
evening dress, also white kid gloves, which are
not removed during the ceremony.
Hats should be left in the vestibule.

FLOWERS. If the boutonniers are given by the
bride, they should go to her house to receive
them and to have her place them in the lapels
of their coats; or the boutonniers may be
kept at the church in the care of the sexton.

GLOVES. For morning or an afternoon wedding
the gloves are gray. At an evening wedding
the gloves are white kid. The gloves are
not removed during the ceremony.

JEWELRY. They wear the scarf-pins or cuff-
buttons given to them by the groom.

NECKTIES. At a morning or afternoon wedding
the neckties are usually of some delicate color.
At an evening wedding the neckties are
white, as is customary with evening dress.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The ushers pair off with
the bridesmaids, and are usually seated at a
table assigned to them.

WEDDING RECEPTIONS. The ushers, should
introduce the guests to the groom and bride,
calling the latter "Mr. and Mrs. A.," beginning
with the relatives and friends, and continuing
with the others till all have been introduced.
In introducing the guests, the usher should
offer his arm to the woman, and if not
knowing her, should ask her her name, while her
escort follows and is introduced at the same
time. The bride may request the usher to
introduce the guests to the parents.

VALET.

TIPS. It is customary for a man leaving after a
house party to give to the valet who has
waited upon him at least one dollar and more,
in proportion for added attention.

WITH MASTER ON VISIT. As a general rule,
few American men take their valets with
them when they visit. But when such is the
case, the valet would wait upon his master,
and should give as little care to the household
as possible.

VEIL

MOURNING. See Widow-Mourning.

WEDDING. This should be white. While its
length depends upon the wishes of the bride,
the long veil is more in keeping with the
traditions and customs of the ceremony.

Verbal Invitations. All invitations should be sent
by mail, and verbal invitations avoided if
possible; if one is given, it should be
followed by one in writing.

VICE-PRESIDENT--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter
begins: Sir, and ends, I have, sir, the honor
to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr.
Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain
most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: The Vice-
President, John J. Wilson.

VISCOUNT--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter
begins: My Lord, and ends: I have the honor
to be your Lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: The
Right Honorable Viscount Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord
Wilson, and ends: Believe me, my dear Lord
Wilson, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the
Viscount Wilson.

VISCOUNTESS--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter
begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to
remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope reads: To the
Right Honorable, the Viscountess of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent,
and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent,
sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope reads: To the
Viscountess of Kent.

VISCOUNT.

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Viscount.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON. See Wife of Younger
Son of Viscount.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Viscount.

Visiting-cards. See Cards, Visiting.

VISITORS TO TOWN--CARDS. Visitors to town should
send cards to every one whom they desire to
see, with the address written on the cards.

VOUCHERS. These are safeguards against the
admission of uninvited guests at a subscription
ball, and take the form of cards to be shown
at the door.

When a person sends one of these vouchers
and an invitation to a person, he should
enclose one of his calling cards.

"WALLFLOWERS." This is the name commonly
applied to young women at a ball who do
not dance because of lack of partners. It
should be the aim of the hostess, with the
aid of her sons and daughters, to find
partners for such young women.

WAR, SECRETARY OF--HOW ADDRESSED, An official
letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the
honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain most
sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary of War.

WEDDING.

BREAKFAST. See Wedding Reception or Breakfast.

CAKE. At the conclusion of the wedding break-
fast the cake is placed before the bride, who
first cuts a piece, and then it is passed to the
others. More often it is put up in small
white boxes and given to the guests, or
the boxes containing the cake are placed on a
table in the hallway, and the guests each
take one on their departure.

DAY. The wedding-day is named by the bride,
and her mother's approval is asked by the
groom.

It is not customary for the bride to see the
groom on the wedding-day till she meets him
at the altar.

KISS. The kiss in the ceremony is being done
away with, especially at church weddings.
Only the bride's parents and her most
intimate friends should kiss her, and for others
to do so is no longer good form.

RECEPTIONS OR BREAKFASTS. The married
couple, on arriving at the house of the bride,
place themselves in a convenient location,
and, assisted by the best man, maid of honor,
and the parents of both parties, receive the
invited guests. Congratulations are given
to the groom and best wishes to the bride.

A reception is more often given than a
breakfast, as it allows more invitations and
more freedom, and the refreshments are
placed on the tables, so that the guests help
themselves or are served by the bridesmaids.

The guests wait upon the married couple.

At a breakfast, when the congratulations
are over, the breakfast is announced, and
the married couple lead the way to the table
reserved for them. Parents of both parties,
the best man, and the maid of honor are
usually placed at this table.

Guests leave a card for the host and hostess
and another for the married couple.

Invitations are sent with the wedding
invitations, but only to the nearest relatives and
friends.

They should be immediately acknowledged,
either by letter of acceptance or declination
with regret.

TRIP. All details should be arranged before-
hand by the best man, who knows the
destination, and should keep it an inviolate
secret, revealing it only in case of accident.

It is becoming the fashion for the married
couple to do away with the trip, and instead
to begin their married life in their own home.

VEIL. This should be white. While its length
depends upon the wishes of the bride, the
long veil is more in keeping with the
traditions and customs of the wedding ceremony.

WOMEN-CARDS. When invitations have been
received to the church but not to the
wedding reception, cards should be sent to the
bride's parents and to the bridal couple.

WEDDINGS.

AISLE PROCESSION. See Weddings-Procession
Up the Aisle.

ANNIVERSARIES. See Anniversaries-Wedding.

ANNOUNCEMENTS. Announcement cards are sent
the day after the wedding, and need not be
acknowledged. They should be prepared
beforehand and ready to be mailed. The
expense is borne by the family of the bride.
At a home or a private wedding, announcement
cards can be sent to friends out of town.

AT HOME. See Home Weddings.

BEST MAN. See Best Man.

BEST WISHES. Best wishes should be given to
the bride and congratulations to the groom.

BOUQUETS. The bouquet carried by the bride is
furnished by the groom, who may also provide
bouquets for the bridesmaids if he wishes.

BRIDE. See Bride.

BRIDESMAIDS. See Bridesmaids.

CAKE. See Wedding Cake.

CALLS. See Weddings-Invitations-Calls.

CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH. These cards
are used at all public weddings held in
churches, and when used no one should be
admitted to the church without one. They
are sent with the wedding invitations.

They are kept in stock by the stationer,
and are not expensive.

CARDS, VISITING, AFTER MARRIAGE. Mr. and
Mrs. cards are used by the wife only within
one year after the marriage, after which
separate cards are in order. These Mr. and
Mrs. cards are used in sending gifts,
congratulations, condolence, and at ceremonious
affairs, when both the husband and wife are
represented.

CARRIAGES. Carriages should be provided to
take the bride and her family to the church
and back to the house, and also the guests
from the church to the receptions.

The expense is borne by the family of the
bride, save for the carriage used by the
groom, which takes him and the best man to
the church, and later takes the married
couple to the house, and after the reception,
to the station.

CHOIR-BOYS. See CHOIR-BOYS AT WEDDINGS.

CONGRATULATIONS. Congratulations may be
sent with letter of acceptance or declination
of an invitation to a wedding to those
sending the invitations. And if acquaintance
with bride and groom warrant, a note of
congratulations may be sent to them also.

Guests in personal conversation with the
latter give best wishes to the bride and
congratulations to the groom.

CHURCH. See BEST MAN--CHURCH. BRIDE--CHURCH.
BRIDESMAIDS--CHURCH. GROOM--CHURCH. USHERS-CHURCH.

DANCES. It is not usual to have dances after the
wedding.

DEPARTURE OF MARRIED COUPLE. See WEDDINGS--MARRIED
COUPLE.

DRESS. See BEST MAN--DRESS. BRIDE--DRESS.
GROOM-DRESS. WEDDINGS-GUESTS-DRESS,
ETC.

EXPENSES. All the expenses are borne by the
bride's family, except the fees for the license,
clergyman, organist, and sexton. The wedding-ring,
the carriages for the groom, ushers,
best man, and the carriage which takes away
the married couple, are also paid for by the
groom.

He also furnishes souvenirs to the maid of
honor and bridesmaids, best man and ushers,
and all expenses of the wedding trip.

If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner,
he bears all expenses.

FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNERS. See Groom-
Farewell Dinner.

FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See Bride--
Farewell Luncheons.

FEES. The wedding fee, preferably gold or
clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the
best man to the officiating clergyman.
Custom leaves the amount to the groom, who
should give at least five dollars or more, in
proportion to his income and social position.
The clergyman usually gives the fee to his
wife.

FLOWER GIRLS. See Flower Girls.

FLOWERS are in general use. The quantity and
quality of floral decorations must depend
upon the taste and the wealth of the parties
concerned.

BRIDE. The bride, if she desires, carries at the
wedding ceremony a bouquet given by the
groom. Flowers are sometimes dispensed
with, and a Prayer-Book used.

CHURCH. In addition to the palms in the chancel,
a string of flowers or white ribbons is stretched
across the middle aisle, to reserve this place
for the immediate family and specially invited guests.

USHERS. Boutonnieres, provided by the bride's
family, should be given to the sexton by the
florist on the wedding-day. They may be
made of lilies of the valley, white roses, or
the like.

Sometimes the ushers call at the house of
the bride to have her fix them in the lapel of
their coats.

GIFTS. The nearest members of each family
should arrange among themselves what gifts
to send, and thus avoid duplicates.
Expensive presents are sent only by most intimate
friends, and articles of utility by relatives or
near friends. All gifts should be sent within
two months of date of marriage, and should
have thereon the woman's maiden name,
initial cipher, or monogram, and should be
acknowledged by the bride at the earliest
moment, and not later than ten days after
her marriage.

It is not in good taste to make an ostentatious
display of the gifts, and if they are exhibited,
the cards of the donors should be removed,
and only intimate friends invited.

Those sending gifts should have the courtesy
of an invitation to the wedding breakfast
or reception.

If any gifts are sent to the groom, they
should bear his initial.

A wedding invitation does not necessarily
imply that a gift must be sent, as the sending
of a gift is optional.

GROOM. See Groom.

GUESTS-BREAKFASTS OR RECEPTIONS. The
invited guests leave the church for the bride's
residence, and there are introduced by the
ushers to the married couple and those standing
up with them. If the guests are unknown to
the ushers, they should give their names to
one of them, who offers his left arm to the woman,
while her escort follows and is introduced at the same time.

At the breakfast, guests are usually assigned places,
but, if not, may take any
seat. Only the specially invited guests await
the departure of the married couple, which
ends the reception or breakfast.

If boxes of wedding-cake are placed on a
table, each guest takes one on his departure.

GUESTS-CALLS. Invited guests should call at
least within ten days and leave their cards.

DRESS. Broadly speaking, at a morning or afternoon
wedding the guest wears afternoon dress,
and at an evening wedding evening dress.
From the latter rule there are no deviations
possible, but in the former there is
greater latitude. Thus it would be possible
for a man to wear a black cutaway coat at
an afternoon wedding.

MEN. If the wraps are not left in the carriage,
they are removed in the vestibule and are
carried on the arm into the pew. A man
follows the woman, who is escorted to the
pew by the usher. At the end of the ceremony
the guests should not leave until the
immediate family have passed out.

Guests who are not invited to the breakfast
or reception should not take offense, as
the number present on such occasions is
necessarily limited. These guests may seat
themselves or are seated by the ushers, but
not in the pews reserved for the family and
specially invited guests.

WOMEN. No one should be present at a wedding
in mourning, and it should be laid aside temporarily
even by the mother, who wears
purple velvet or silk. Women on entering
the church take the usher's left arm, and are
escorted to the pew, while their escort follows
behind.

If they are immediate members of the
family or are specially invited guests, they
should give their names to the usher that he
may seat them in the places reserved for
them.

HATS OF GROOM AND OF BEST MAN. To do
away with the possibility of the best man
having to take care of the hats of groom and
best man during the wedding ceremony, it
is a good plan for both groom and best man
to leave them in the vestry, and to have them
carried out to the front of the church, ready
for them at the end of the ceremony.

HOME See Home Weddings.

HOST. See Father of Bride.

HOSTESS. See Mother of Bride.

HOURS. Any hour from nine in the morning to
nine in the evening is appropriate.

The morning hours are usually selected for
quiet home affairs; twelve o'clock, or high
noon, is still considered as the fashionable
hour, while from three to six is the hour
most convenient for all concerned.

Evening weddings are not very convenient,
chiefly because it is not as easy to handle the
details as in the daytime.

INVITATIONS. The woman's parents, guardians,
or others give the wedding, send out the invitations,
and bear all the expense of engraving and sending
out the same. They are issued in the name of the
one giving the wedding, and should be sent to
near-by friends about twenty days in advance of
the wedding day and earlier to out-of-town friends.
With them are sent the invitation to the wedding
breakfast or reception, and also the card of
admission to the church.

The groom should supply a list of names
of such persons as he desires to have present,
designating his preference for those to be
present at the breakfast or reception.

In addressing wedding invitations, two
envelopes are used. The inner one, unsealed,
bears the name only of the person addressed,
and is enclosed in another envelope, sealed,
bearing the address of the person invited.

Parents should, of course, order these
invitations of a fashionable dealer in stationery,
that good taste may be observed.

If the invitation contains an invitation to
the breakfast or reception, it should be accepted
or declined at once, and the answer
sent to those issuing the invitation. If the
invitation does not include a breakfast or
reception invitation, no acknowledgment is
necessary.

Should the wedding, however, be at home,
and the guests limited in number, an
acknowledgment should be sent.

If the invitations bear the letters R. S. V. P.
an acknowledgment is necessary.

BRIDESMAIDS. At a large church wedding several
invitations are usually given to the
bridesmaids for their own personal use.

CALLS. Very intimate friends can call personally.
Friends of the groom who have no
acquaintance with the bride's family should
send their cards to those inviting them.

Those who do not receive with wedding
invitations and announcements At Home
cards should not call, but consider themselves
dropped from the circle of acquaintances
of the married couple.

CARDS, LEAVING. If a person is invited to a
wedding at a church, but not to the reception
or breakfast, a card should be left or mailed
both to the bride's parents and to the
married couple.

Those present at the ceremony should
leave cards in person for those inviting them,
and if this is not possible, they can send
them by mail or messenger.

Those invited but not present should send
cards to those who invited them.

RECALLED. When for some good reason a
wedding has to be canceled or postponed,
the parents of the bride should, as soon as
possible, send printed notices, giving the
reasons, to all the invited guests.

JOURNEY. See Wedding Trip.

MAID OF HONOR. See Maid of Honor.

MARKING GIFTS. See Marking Wedding Gifts.

MARRIED COUPLE. Immediately after the wedding
breakfast or reception, the bride, with
her maid of honor, retires to change her
clothes for those suitable for travel. The
groom, with his best man, does likewise, and
waits for his wife at the foot of the stairs.

As she comes down the stairs she lets fall
her bridal bouquet among the bridesmaids,
who strive to secure it, as its possession is
deemed a lucky sign of being the next bride.

As the couple pass out of the front door
it is customary for the guests to throw after
them, for luck, rice, rose leaves, flowers, old
shoes, etc.

The form to be used in signing the hotel
register is: Mr. and Mrs. John K. Wilson.
Good taste and a desire for personal comfort
demand that their public acts and words
be not of such a character as to attract attention.