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Title: Adventures in Wallypug-Land
Author: Farrow, G. E. (George Edward)
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "Adventures in Wallypug-Land" ***

book was produced from scanned images of public domain
material from the Google Books project.)

                         TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:

—Obvious print and punctuation errors were corrected.

—Bold text has been rendered ad =bold text=.

[Illustration: So soon as we got into the street, we met the Turtle and
the Pelican, walking arm-in-arm, and each smoking a cigarette.—Page

                             ADVENTURES IN


                            BY G. E. FARROW

                             LONDON,” ETC.


                    A. L. BURT COMPANY, PUBLISHERS,
                     52-58 DUANE STREET, NEW YORK.


                     ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG-LAND.




I have again to thank you for the many kind and delightful letters
which I have received from all parts of the world, and I cannot tell
you how happy I am to find that I have succeeded so well in pleasing
you with my stories.

What am I to say to the little boy who wrote, and begged “that, if the
Wallypug came to stay with me again, would I please invite him too?” or
to the other dear little fellow who came to me with tears in his eyes,
to tell me that some superior grown-up person had informed him that
“there never was a Wallypug, and it was all just a pack of nonsense”;
that “Girlie never went to Why at all, and that in fact there was no
such place in existence”?

I can only regretfully admit that, sooner or later as we grow up to
be men and women, there are bound to be many fond illusions which
are one by one ruthlessly dispelled, and that many of the dreams and
thoughts which, in our younger days, we cherish most dearly, the hard,
matter-of-fact world will always persist in describing as “a pack of
nonsense.” However, for many of us fortunately, this tiresome time has
not yet arrived, and for the present we will refuse to give up our poor
dear Wallypug—for whom I declare I have as great an affection and
regard, as the most enthusiastic of my young readers.

You will see that in the following story I have described my own
experiences during a recent visit to the remarkable land over which
His Majesty reigns as a “kind of king”, and I may tell you that,
amongst all of the extraordinary creatures that I met there, there
was not one who expressed the slightest doubt as to the reality of
what was happening; while for my own part, I should as soon think of
doubting the existence of the fairies themselves, as of the simple,
kind-hearted, little Wallypug.

There now! I hope that I have given quite a clear and lucid
explanation, and one which will prevent you from being made unhappy
by any doubts which may arise in your mind as to the possibility, or
probability, of this story. Please don’t forget to write to me again
during the coming year.

  Believing me to be as ever,

  Your affectionate Friend,



                      ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUGLAND.

            CHAP.                                     PAGE

               I. How I Went to Why                     13

              II. A Strange Welcome                     29

             III. A Terrible Night                      40

              IV. Late for Breakfast                    50

               V. The Trial                             62

              VI. His Majesty is Deposed                74

             VII. Foiled                                83

            VIII. The Little Blue People                94

              IX. The Wallypug Recovers his Crown      103

               X. The Home of Ho-Lor                   116

              XI. The Why and Wer-Har-Wei Railway      131

             XII. Back Again at Why                    145

            XIII. A New State of Affairs               155

             XIV. “Good for the Complexion”            165

              XV. “Wallypug’s Blush Limited”           175

             XVI. “Au Revoir”                          187

            THE BLUE DWARFS                            197

[Illustration: Adventures in Wallypug-Land]

[Illustration: MR. NOBODY.]



FOR some time past I have been the guest of his Majesty the Wallypug at
his palace in the mysterious kingdom of Why—a country so remarkable
that even now I am only just beginning to get used to my strange
surroundings and stranger neighbors. Imagine, if you can, a place
where all of the animals not only talk, but take an active part in
the government of the land, a place where one is as likely as not
to receive an invitation to an evening party from an ostrich, or is
expected to escort an elderly rhinoceros in to dinner; where it is
quite an everyday occurrence to be called upon by a hen with a brood of
young chickens just as you are sitting down to tea, and be expected to
take a lively interest in her account of how the youngest chick passed
through its latest attack of the “pip.”

In such a country, the unexpected is always happening, and I am
continually being startled in the streets at being addressed by some
dangerous-looking quadruped, or an impertinent bird, for I must say
that as a class the birds are the most insolent of all the inhabitants
of this strange land. There is in particular one old crow, a most
objectionable personage, and a cockatoo who is really the most violent
and ill-natured bird that I have ever been acquainted with.

She takes a very active interest in Parliamentary affairs, and is a
strong supporter of woman’s wrongs.

“Every woman has her wrongs,” she declares, “and if she hasn’t she
ought to have.”

You will naturally wish to know how I reached this strange country,
and will, no doubt, be surprised when I tell you how the journey was

One morning a few weeks since, I received a letter from his Majesty
the Wallypug asking me to visit him at his palace at Why, in order
to assist him in establishing some of our social customs and methods
of government, which he had so greatly admired during his visit to
England, and which he was desirous of imitating in his own land. A
little packet was enclosed in the letter, bearing the words, “The
shortest way to Why. This side up with _anxiety_.” “Well,” I thought,
“I suppose they mean ‘This side up with _care_,’” and was proceeding
very carefully to open the packet when a gust of wind rushed in at the
window, and blowing open the paper wrapper, scattered the contents—a
little white powder—in all directions. Some particles flew up into
my eyes, and caused them to smart so violently that I was obliged to
close them for some time till the pain had gone, and when I opened them
again, what do you think? I was no longer in my study at home, but out
on a kind of heath in the brilliant sunshine, and apparently miles from
a house of any kind. A finger-post stood a little way in front of me,
and I could see that three roads met just here. Anxiously I hurried up
to the post to see where I was. One arm pointed, “To Nowhere.” “And
I certainly don’t want to go there,” I thought; the other one was
inscribed, “To Somewhere,” which was decidedly a little better, but the
third one said, “To Everywhere Else.”

[Illustration: “THAT’S NOT MUCH USE.”]

“And, good gracious me,” I thought, “that’s not much use, for I don’t
know in the least now which of the last two roads to take.” I was
puzzling my brain as to what was the best thing to be done, when
I happened to look down the road leading to “Nowhere,” and saw a
curious-looking little person running towards me. He had an enormous
head, and apparently his arms and legs were attached to it, for I could
see no trace of a body. He was flourishing something in his hand as he
ran along, and as soon as he came closer I discovered that it was his
card which he handed to me with a polite bow and an extensive smile, as
soon as he got near enough to do so.

  “_MR. NOBODY,_

is what I read.

The little man was still smiling and bowing, so I held out my hand and

“How do you do, sir? I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.
Perhaps you can be good enough to tell me—”

The little man nodded violently.

“To tell me where I am,” I continued.

Mr. Nobody looked very wise, and after a few moments’ thought smiled
and nodded more violently than ever, and simply pointed his finger at

“Yes, yes,” I cried, rather impatiently; “of course I know that I’m
here, but what I want to know is, what place is this?”

The little fellow knitted his brows, and looked very thoughtful, and
finally staring at me sorrowfully, he slowly shook his head.

“You don’t know?” I inquired.

He shook his head again.

“Dear me, this is very sad; the poor man is evidently dumb,” I said,
half aloud.

Mr. Nobody must have heard me, for he nodded violently, then resuming
his former smile, he bowed again, and turning on his heels ran back in
the direction of Nowhere, stopping every now and then to turn around
and nod and smile and wave his hand.

“What a remarkable little person,” I was just saying, when I heard a
voice above my head calling out:

“Man! man!”

I looked up and saw a large crow perched on the finger-post. He had a
newspaper in one claw, and was gravely regarding me over the tops of
his spectacles.

“Well! what are you staring at?” he remarked as soon as he caught my

“Well, really,” I began.

“Haven’t you ever seen a crow before?” he interrupted.

“Of course I have,” I answered rather angrily, for my surprise at
hearing him talk was fast giving way to indignation at his insolent
tone and manner.

“Very well, then, what do you want to stand there gaping at me in
that absurd way for?” said the bird. “What did he say to you?” he
continued, jerking his head in the direction in which Mr. Nobody had

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Very well, then, what was it?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” said I.

“Why, stupid, you said Nobody and nothing, didn’t you, and as two
negatives make an affirmative that means he must have said something.”

“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand,” I said.

“Ignorant ostrich!” remarked the crow contemptuously.

“Look here,” I cried, getting very indignant, “I will not be spoken to
like that by a mere bird!”

“Oh, really! Who do you think you are, pray, you ridiculous biped?
Where’s your hat?”

I was too indignant to answer, and though I should have liked to have
asked the name of the place I was at, I determined not to hold any
further conversation with the insolent bird, and walked away in the
direction of “Somewhere,” pursued by the sound of mocking laughter from
the crow.

[Illustration: “WHERE’S YOUR HAT?”]

I had not gone far, however, before I perceived a curious kind of
carriage coming towards me. It was a sort of rickshaw, and was drawn
by a kangaroo, who was jerking it along behind him. A large ape sat
inside, hugging a carpet bag, and holding on to the dashboard with his

“Let’s pass him with withering contempt,” I heard one of them say.

“All right,” was the reply. “Drive on.”

“I say, Man,” called out the Ape, as they passed, “we’re not taking the
slightest notice of you.”

“Oh, aren’t you? Well, I’m sure I don’t care,” I replied rather crossly.

The Kangaroo stopped and stared at me in amazement, and the Ape got out
of the rickshaw and came towards me, looking very indignant.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked, striking an attitude.

“No, I don’t,” I replied, “and what’s more, I don’t care.”

“But I’m a person of consequence,” he gasped.

“You are only an ape or a monkey,” I said firmly.

“Oh! I can clearly see that you don’t know me,” remarked the Ape
pityingly. “I’m Oom Hi.”

“Indeed,” I said unconcernedly. “I am afraid I’ve never heard of you.”

“Never heard of Oom Hi,” cried the Ape. “Why, I am the inventor of

“What’s that?” I asked. “Good gracious! what ignorance,” said the Ape;
“here, go and fetch my bag,” he whispered to the Kangaroo, who ran back
to the rickshaw and returned with the carpet bag.

“This,” continued Oom Hi, taking out a bottle, “is the article; it is
called ‘Broncho,’ and is excellent for coughs, colds, and affections
of the throat; you will notice that each bottle bears a label stating
that the mixture is prepared according to my own formula, and bears
my signature; none other is genuine without it. The Wallypug, when he
returned from England and heard that I had invented it, declared that I
must be a literary genius.”

[Illustration: “There,” continued Oom Hi, taking out the bottle, “is
the article; it is called ‘Broncho.’”—Page 24.

“A what!” I exclaimed.

“A literary genius,” repeated the Ape, smirking complacently.

“Why, what on earth has cough mixture to do with literature?” I

“I don’t know, I’m sure,” admitted Oom Hi, “but the Wallypug said that
in England any one who invented anything of that sort was supposed to
possess great literary talent.”

“The Wallypug!” I exclaimed, suddenly remembering. “Am I anywhere near
his Kingdom of Why, then?”

“Of course you are; it’s only about a mile or two down the road. Are
you going there?” inquired Oom Hi.

“Well, yes,” I answered. “I’ve had an invitation from his Majesty, and
should rather like to go there, as I’m so near.”

“His Majesty; he—he—he, that’s good,” laughed the Kangaroo. “Do you
call the Wallypug ‘his Majesty’?” he asked.

“Of course,” I replied, “he is a king, isn’t he?”

“A _kind_ of king,” corrected Oom Hi. “You don’t catch us calling him
‘your Majesty,’ I can tell you though, one animal is as good as another
here, and if anything, a little better. If you are going to Why, we may
as well go back with you, and give you a lift in the rickshaw.”

“You’re very kind,” I said, gratefully.

“Not at all, not at all; jump in,” said Oom Hi.

“Hold on a moment,” said the Kangaroo. “It’s _his_ turn to pull, you

“Of course, of course,” said the Ape, getting into the vehicle; “put
him in the shafts!”

“What do you mean?” I expostulated.

“Your turn to pull the rickshaw, you know; we always take turns, and
as I have been dragging it for some time it’s your turn now.”

“But I’m not going to pull that thing with you two animals in it. I
never heard of such a thing,” I declared.

“Who are you calling an animal?” demanded the Kangaroo, sulkily.
“You’re one yourself, aren’t you?”

“Well, I suppose I am,” I admitted. “But I’m not going to draw that
thing, all the same.”

“Oh, get in, get in; don’t make a fuss. I suppose I shall have to take
a turn myself,” said Oom Hi, grasping the handles, and the Kangaroo and
myself having taken our seats we were soon traveling down the road. The
Kangaroo turned out to be a very pleasant companion after all, and when
he found out that I came from England told me all about his brother,
who was a professional boxer, and had been to London and made his
fortune as the Boxing Kangaroo. He was quite delighted when I told him
that I had seen notices of his performance in the papers. We soon came
in sight of a walled city, which Oom Hi, turning around, informed me
was Why. And on reaching the gate he gave the rickshaw in charge of an
old turtle, who came waddling up, and each of the animals taking one of
my arms, I was led in triumph through the city gates to the Wallypug’s
palace, several creatures, including a motherly-looking goose and
a little gosling, taking a lively interest in my progress, while a
giraffe in a very high collar craned his neck through a port-hole to
try and get a glimpse of us as we passed under the portcullis.



[Illustration: GOOD BYE!]

WE soon reached the Wallypug’s palace, which stood in a large park in
the center of the city of Why. I had been very interested in noticing
the curious architecture in the streets as we passed along, but was
scarcely prepared to find the palace such a very remarkable place. It
was a long, low, rambling building, built in a most singular style,
with all sorts of curious towers and gables at every point.

Oom Hi and the Kangaroo saw me as far as the entrance, and then took
their departure, saying that they would see me again another day, and I
walked up the stone steps, to what I imagined to be the principal door,
alone. To my great surprise, however, I found that, instead of being
the way in, it was nothing more or less than a huge jam-pot, with a
very large label on it marked “Strawberry Jam,” while above it were
the words, “When is a door not a door?” “When is a door not a door?” I
repeated, vaguely conscious of having heard the question before.

[Illustration: “SOLD AGAIN! SERVE YOU RIGHT!”]

“Ha—ha—ha,” laughed a mocking voice at the bottom of the steps, and
looking down I saw an enormous Cockatoo with a Paisley shawl over her
shoulders and walking with the aid of a crutched stick.

“Sold again, were you? Serve you right,” she cried. “When is a door not
a door? Pooh! fancy not knowing that old chestnut. Why! when it’s a
jar, of course, stupid. Bah!”

“It’s a very absurd practical joke, that’s all that I can say,” I
remarked, crossly, walking down the steps again. “Perhaps you can tell
me how I am going to get into this remarkable place.”

“Humph! Perhaps I can and perhaps I won’t,” said the Cockatoo. “I dare
say it’s a better place than you came from, anyhow. You’re not the
first man that has come down here with his superior airs and graces,
grumbling and finding fault with this, that, and the other; but we’ll
soon take the conceit out of you, I can tell you. Where’s your hat?”

This was the second creature that had asked me this question, and
really they threw so much scorn and contempt into the inquiry that one
would imagine that it was a most disgraceful offense to be without a
head covering.

I thought the most dignified thing to do under the circumstances was to
take no further notice of the bird, and was quietly walking away when
the Cockatoo screamed out again, “Where’s your hat? Where’s your hat?
Where’s your hat?” each time louder and louder, till the last inquiry
ended in a perfect shriek.

“Don’t be so ridiculous,” I cried. “I’ve left it at home, if you must

“Down with the hatters!” screamed the Cockatoo irrelevantly, “Down
with the Wallypug! Down with men without hats! Down with everybody and
everything!” and the wretched bird danced about like a demented fury.

At the sound of all this commotion a number of windows in the upper
stories of the palace were thrown open, and curious heads were popped
out to see what was the matter. Among them and immediately over my
head, I noticed the Doctor-in-Law.

“Oh! it’s you, is it, kicking up all this fuss?” he remarked as soon as
he recognized me.

“Well, really!” I replied, “I think you might have the politeness to
say ‘How do you do?’ considering that it is some months since we met.”

“Oh, do you indeed?” said the Doctor-in-Law, contemptuously. “Well,
supposing I don’t care one way or another. Where’s your hat?”

[Illustration: “DOWN WITH THE DOCTOR-IN-LAW.”]

Before I could answer the Cockatoo had screamed out “Down with the
Doctor-in-Law!” and the irate little man had replied by throwing a book
at her head out of the palace window.

[Illustration: “I saw his Majesty, the Wallypug himself, running across
the lawn towards me, with both hands stretched out in welcome.”—Page

I was thoroughly disgusted at this behavior and at the strange
reception that I was receiving, and had fully determined to try and
find some way of getting home again, when, happening to turn round, I
saw his Majesty the Wallypug himself running across the lawn towards
me, with both hands stretched out in welcome, and his kind little face
beaming with good nature.

“How d’ye do? How d’ye do?” he cried. “So pleased to see you. Didn’t
expect you quite so soon, though. Come along—this way.” And his
Majesty led me to another entrance, and through a large square hall
hung with tapestry and many quaint pieces of old-fashioned armor, to a
door marked “His Majesty the Wallypug. Strictly private.” I noticed, in
passing, that the words, “His Majesty” had been partly painted out, and
“What cheek!” written above them. Once inside the door, the Wallypug
motioned me to a chair, and said, in a mysterious whisper,

“I’m _so_ glad you came before _she_ returned; there’s so much I want
to tell you.”

“Who do you mean?” I asked.

“Sh—Madame—er, my sister-in-law,” he replied, with a sigh.

“Your sister-in-law!” I exclaimed. “Why, I didn’t know you were

“Neither am I,” said his Majesty, with a puzzled frown. “That’s the
awkward part about it.”

“But how on earth can you possibly have a sister-in-law, unless you
have a wife or a married brother?” I asked.

“Well, I’ve never quite been able to understand _how_ they make it
out,” said the poor Wallypug, sorrowfully; “but I believe it is
something mixed up with the Deceased Wife’s Sister’s Bill, and the fact
that my uncle, The Grand Mochar of Gamboza, was married twice. Anyhow,
when I returned from London I found this lady, who _says_ that she
is my sister-in-law, established here in the palace; and—and—” his
Majesty sank his voice to a whisper, “she rules me with a rod of iron.”

I had no time to make further inquiries, for just then the door opened,
and a majestic-looking person sailed into the room, and after looking
me up and down with elevated eyebrows, pointed her finger at me, and
said, in a stern voice:

“And _who_ is this person, pray?”

“Oh, this,” said his Majesty, smiling nervously, and bringing me
forward, “is the gentleman who was so kind to us in London, you know.
Allow me to present him, Mr. Er—er——”

“I hope you have not been picking up any undesirable acquaintances,
Wallypug,” interrupted his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law severely. “I don’t
like the look of him at all.”

“I’m sorry, madame, that my appearance doesn’t please you,” I
interposed, feeling rather nettled; “perhaps under the circumstances I
had better——”


“You had better do as you are bid and speak when you are spoken to,”
remarked the lady grimly. “Where’s your hat?”

“I haven’t one,” I replied, rather abruptly, I am afraid, but I was
getting quite tired of this continual cross-questioning; “and really I
don’t see that it’s of the slightest consequence,” I ventured to add.

“Oh! don’t you,” said his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law, with a sarcastic
smile. “Well, that’s one of the _many_ points upon which we shall
disagree. Now, look here, I may tell you at once that I don’t approve
of you in the least; still, as you are here now you had better remain;
but mind, no putting on parts or giving yourself airs and graces, or
I shall have something to say to you. Do you understand?” And with a
severe glance at me, the lady folded her arms and stalked out of the
room, leaving his Majesty and myself staring blankly at one another.



MY reception at Why had been such a very peculiar one that I had fully
made up my mind to return home at once, but his Majesty the Wallypug
begged me so earnestly to stay with him, at any rate for a few days,
that I determined, out of friendship to him, to put up as best I could
with that extraordinary person the Sister-in-Law, and the rest of the
creatures, and remain, in order to help him if possible to establish
his position at Why on a firmer basis.

So I took possession of a suite of rooms in the west wing of the
palace, near his Majesty’s private apartments, and we spent a very
pleasant evening together in my sitting-room, playing draughts till
bedtime, when his Majesty left me to myself, promising that he would
show me around the palace grounds the first thing in the morning.

After he had gone, there being a bright wood fire burning in my
bedroom, I drew a high-backed easy-chair up to the old-fashioned
fireplace, and made myself comfortable for a little while before
retiring for the night.

My bedroom was a large, old-fashioned apartment, with a low ceiling
and curiously carved oak wainscoting, and I watched the firelight
flickering, and casting all sorts of odd shadows in the dark corners,
till I must have fallen asleep, for I remember awaking with a start,
at hearing a crash in the corridor outside my bedroom door. A muttered
exclamation, and a Pelican, carrying a bedroom candlestick marched in,
and carefully fastened the door behind him.

“Great clumsy things—I can’t think who can have left them there,”
he grumbled, sitting down and rubbing one foot against the other, as
though in pain. And I suddenly came to the conclusion that he must have
stumbled over my boots, which I had stood just outside the door, in
order that they might be cleaned for the morning.

The Pelican had not noticed me in my high-backed chair, and, being
rather curious to see what he was up to, I kept perfectly still.

Going over to a clothes press, which stood in one corner of the room,
the bird drew forth a long white night-gown and a nightcap; these he
proceeded solemnly to array himself in, and then, getting up on a
chair, he turned back the bedclothes with his enormous beak, and was
just about to hop into bed, when I thought that it was time for me to

“Here! I say, what are you up to?” I called out in a stern voice.

[Illustration: “He turned back the bedclothes with his enormous beak,
and was just about to hop into bed.”—Page 42.

“Oh—h-h! Ah—h-h! There’s a man in my room!” screamed the Pelican,
evidently greatly alarmed. “Murder! Fire! Police! Thieves!”

“Hold your tongue!” I commanded. “What do you mean by making all that
noise at this time of night, and what are you doing in my room?”

“Your room, indeed!” gasped the bird; “my room you mean, you
featherless biped, you!”

“Look here!” I remarked, going up to the Pelican, and shaking him till
his beak rattled again. “Don’t you talk to me like that, my good bird,
for I won’t put up with it.” You see I was getting tired of being
treated so contemptuously by all of these creatures, and was determined
to put a stop to it, somehow.

“But it _is_ my room. Let me go, I say!” screamed the bird, struggling
to get free, and dabbing at me viciously with his great beak.

“It is not your room,” I maintained; “and what is more, you are not
going to stay here,” and I pushed the creature towards the door.

“We’ll soon see all about that,” shouted the Pelican, wrenching himself
from my grasp, and rushing at me with his beak wide open, and his wings

He was an enormous bird, and I had a great struggle with him. We went
banging about the room, knocking over the furniture and making a
terrible racket. At last, however, I managed to get him near the door,
and giving a terrific shove I pushed him outside, and, pulling the door
to, quickly turned the key.

I could hear Mr. Pelican slipping and stumbling about on the highly
polished floor of the corridor outside, and muttering indignantly.
Presently he came to the door, and banging with his beak, he cried,
“Look here! this is beyond a joke—let me in, I say—where do you
suppose I am going to sleep?”

“Anywhere you like except here,” I replied, feeling that I had got the
best of it. “Go and perch or roost, or whatever you call it, on the
banisters, or sleep on the mat if you like—I don’t care what you do!”

“Impertinent wretch!” yelled the bird. “You only wait till the morning.
I’ll pay you out;” and I could hear him muttering and mumbling in
an angry way as he waddled down the corridor to seek some other
resting-place. “What ridiculous nonsense it is,” I thought, as I
tumbled into bed shortly after this little episode; “these creatures
giving themselves such airs. No wonder the Wallypug is such a meek
little person if he has been subjected to this sort of treatment
all his life.” And pondering over the best method of altering the
extraordinary state of affairs, I dropped off to sleep.

I do not know how long it may have been after this, but a terrific din,
this time in the courtyard below my window, caused me once more to
jump from my bed in alarm. I could hear a most unearthly yelling going
on, a babel of voices, and occasionally a resounding crash as though
something hollow had been violently struck.


Pushing open the latticed windows I saw in the moonlight a little man
dressed in a complete suit of armor with an enormous shield, like a
dishcover, arranged over his head, playing the guitar, and endeavoring
to sing to its accompaniment. He was continually interrupted, however,
by a shower of missiles thrown from all of the windows overlooking the
courtyard, out of which angry heads of animals and other occupants of
the palace were thrust; he was surrounded by a miscellaneous collection
of articles which had evidently been thrown at him, and some of them,
had it not been for his suit of armor and the erection over his head,
would have caused him considerable injury.


He did not seem to mind them in the least, though, and continued
singing amid a perfect storm of boots, brushes, and bottles, as though
he was quite accustomed to such treatment: and it was only when an
irate figure, which somehow reminded me of his Majesty’s Sister-in-Law,
clad in white garments and flourishing a pair of tongs, appeared in
the courtyard, that he took to his heels and fled, pursued by the
white-robed apparition, till both disappeared beneath an archway at
the farther end of the courtyard. Most of the windows were thereupon
closed, and the disturbed occupants of the palace returned to their
rest. I was just about to close my lattice too, when I caught sight of
a familiar figure at the adjoining window. It was my old friend A.
Fish, Esq.

“Oh! id’s you iz id,” he cried. “You _have_ cub thed, I heard that you
were egspegded.”

“Yes, here I am,” I replied. “How are you? How is your cold?”

“Oh, id’s quide cured, thags; dote you dotice how butch better I speak?”

“I’m very glad to hear it, I’m sure,” I replied, waiving the question
and trying to keep solemn. “What’s all this row about?”

“Oh! thad’s the troubadour, up to his old gabes agaid; he’s ad awful
dusadce. I’ll tell you aboud hib in the bordig—good dight.” And A.
Fish, Esq., disappeared from view.



I AWOKE very early in the morning, just as it was daylight, and being
unable to get to sleep again amid my strange surroundings, I arose and
crept down-stairs as noiselessly as possible, intending to go for a
long walk before breakfast.

At the bottom of the stairs I came upon a strange-looking white object,
which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be the Pelican, asleep on
the floor.

He was not sleeping as any respectable bird would have done, with his
head tucked under his wing; but was lying stretched out on a rug in the
hall, with his head resting on a cushion. His enormous beak was wide
open, and he was snoring violently, and muttering uneasily in his sleep.


I did not disturb him for fear lest he should make a noise; but
hurrying past him I made my way to the hall door, which after a little
difficulty I succeeded in unfastening. An ancient-looking turtle with a
white apron was busily cleaning the steps, and started violently as I
made my appearance at the door.

“Bless my shell and fins!” he muttered; “what’s the creature wandering
about this time of the morning for; they’ll be getting up in the
middle of the night next. Just mind where you’re treading, please!” he
called out. “The steps have been cleaned, and I don’t want to have to
do them all over again.”

I managed to get down without doing much damage, and then remarked

“Good morning; have you——”

“No, I haven’t,” interrupted the Turtle snappishly; “and what’s more, I
don’t want to.”

“What do you mean?” I inquired, in surprise.

“Soap!” was the reply.

“I don’t understand you,” I exclaimed.

“You’re an advertisement for somebody’s soap, aren’t you?” asked the

“Certainly not,” I replied, indignantly.

“Your first remark sounded very much like it,” said the Turtle
suspiciously. “‘Good morning, have you used——’”

“I wasn’t going to say that at all,” I interrupted. “I was merely
going to ask if you could oblige me with a light.”

“Oh, that’s another thing entirely,” said the Turtle, handing me some
matches from his waistcoat pocket, and accepting a cigarette in return.
“But really we have got so sick of those advertisement catchwords since
the Doctor-in-Law returned from London with agencies for all sorts of
things, that we hate the very sound of them. We are continually being
told to ‘Call a spade a spade,’ which will be ‘grateful and comforting’
to ‘an ox in a teacup’ who is ‘worth a guinea a box,’ and who ‘won’t be
happy till he gets it.’”

“It must be very trying,” I murmured sympathetically.

“Oh, it is,” remarked the Turtle. “Well,” he continued in a
business-like tone, “I’m sorry you can’t stop—good morning.”

“I didn’t say anything about going,” I ejaculated.

“Oh, didn’t you? Well, I did then,” said the Turtle emphatically. “Move
on, please!”

“You’re very rude,” I remarked.

“Think so?” said the Turtle pleasantly. “That’s all right
then—good-by,” and he flopped down on his knees and resumed his


There was nothing for me to do but to walk on, and seeing a
quaint-looking old rose garden in the distance, I decided to go over
and explore.

I was walking slowly along the path leading to it, when I heard a
curious clattering noise behind me, and turning around I beheld the
Troubadour, still in his armor, dragging a large standard rosebush
along the ground.

“As if it were not enough,” he grumbled, “to be maltreated as I am
every night, without having all this trouble every morning. I declare
it is enough to make you throw stones at your grandfather.”

“What’s the matter?” I ventured to ask of the little man.

“Matter?” was the reply. “Why, these wretched rosebushes, they _will_
get out their beds at night, and wander about. I happened to leave the
gate open last night, and this one got out, and goodness knows where he
would have been by this time if I hadn’t caught him meandering about
near the Palace.”

“Why! I’ve never heard of such a thing as a rosebush walking about,” I
exclaimed in surprise.

[Illustration: “IN YOU GO!”]

“Never heard of a——. Absurd!” declared the Troubadour, incredulously.
“Of course they do. That’s what you have hedges and fences around
the gardens for, isn’t it? Why, you can’t have been in a garden at
night-time, or you wouldn’t talk such nonsense. All the plants are
allowed to leave their beds at midnight. They are expected to be back
again by daylight, though, and not go wandering about goodness knows
where like this beauty,” and he shook the rosebush violently.

“In you go,” he continued, digging a hole with the point of his mailed
foot, and sticking the rosebush into it.

“Hullo!” he exclaimed, going up to another one, at the foot of which
were some broken twigs and crumpled leaves. “You’ve been fighting, have
you? I say, it’s really too bad!”

“But what does it matter to you?” I inquired. “It’s very sad, no doubt,
but I don’t see why you should upset yourself so greatly about it.”

“Well, you see,” was the reply, “I’m the head gardener here as well as
Troubadour, and so am responsible for all these things. I do troubing
as an extra,” he explained. “Three shillings a week and my armor.
Little enough, isn’t it, considering the risk?”

“Well, the office certainly does not seem overpopular, judging from
last night,” I laughed. “Who were you serenading?”

“Oh, any one,” was the reply. “I give it to them in turns. If any one
offends me in the daytime I pay them out at night, see?

“I serenaded the Sister-in-Law mostly, but I shall give that up. She
doesn’t play fair. I don’t mind people shying things at me in the
least, for you see I’m pretty well protected; but when it comes to
chivying me round the garden with a pair of tongs, it’s more than I
bargained for. Look out! Here comes the Wallypug,” he continued.

Sure enough his Majesty was walking down the path, attended by A. Fish,
Esq., who was wearing a cap and gown and carrying a huge book.

“Ah! good morning—good morning,” cried his Majesty, hurrying towards
me. “I’d no idea you were out and about so early. I’m just having my
usual morning lesson.”

“Yes,” said A. Fish, Esq., smiling, and offering me a fin. “Ever sidse
I god rid of by cold I’ve been teaching the Wallypug elocutiod. We have
ad ‘our every bordig before breakfast, ad he’s geddig on spledidly.”

“I’m sure his Majesty is to be congratulated on having so admirable an
instructor,” I remarked, politely, if not very truthfully.

[Illustration: “His Majesty was walking down the path, attended by
A. Fish, Esq., who was wearing a cap and gown and carrying a huge
book.”—Page 58.

“Thags,” said A. Fish, Esq., looking very pleased. “I say, Wallypug,
recide that liddle thig frob Richard III., jusd to show hib how well
you cad do id, will you? You doe thad thig begiddidg ’Ad ’orse, ad
’orse, by kigdob for ad ’orse.’”

“Yes, go on, Wallypug!” chimed in the Troubadour, indulgently.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said his Majesty, simpering nervously. “I’m afraid
I should break down.”

“Doe you wondt, doe you wondt,” said A. Fish, Esq. “Cub alog, try id.”

So his Majesty stood up, with his hands folded in front of him, and was
just about to begin, when a bell in a cupola on the top of the palace
began to ring violently.

“Good gracious, the breakfast bell! We shall be late,” cried the
Wallypug, anxiously grasping my hand and beginning to run towards the

A. Fish, Esq., also shuffled along behind us as quickly as possible,
taking three or four wriggling steps, and then giving a funny little
hop with his tail, till, puffing and out of breath, we arrived at the
palace just as the bell stopped ringing.

His Majesty hastily rearranged his disordered crown, and led the way
into the dining hall.

A turtle carrying a large dish just inside the door whispered warningly
to the Wallypug as we entered, “Look out! You’re going to catch it,”
and hurried away.

A good many creatures were seated at the table which ran down
the center of the room, and at the head of which his Majesty’s
Sister-in-Law presided, with a steaming urn before her. The
Doctor-in-Law occupied a seat near by, and I heard him remark:

“They are two minutes late, madame. I hope you are not going to
overlook it,” to which the lady replied, grimly, “You leave that to

“Sit there,” she remarked coldly, motioning me to a vacant seat, and
the Wallypug and A. Fish, Esq., subsided into the two other unoccupied
chairs on the other side of the table.



FOR a moment nobody spoke. The Wallypug sat back in a huddled heap in
his chair, looking up into Madame’s face with a scared expression. A.
Fish unconcernedly began to eat some steaming porridge from a plate in
front of him—and I sat still and waited events.

A band of musicians in the gallery at the end of the hall were playing
somewhat discordantly, till Madame turned around and called out in an
angry voice:

“Just stop that noise, will you? I can’t hear myself speak.”

[Illustration: “STOP THAT NOISE!”]

The musicians immediately left off playing with the exception of an
old hippopotamus, playing a brass instrument, who being deaf, and
very near-sighted, had neither heard what had been said nor observed
that the others had stopped. With his eyes fixed on the music stand
in front of him, he kept up a long discordant tootling on his own
account, gravely beating time with his head and one foot.

His Majesty’s Sister-in-Law turned around furiously once or twice, and
then seeing that the creature did not leave off, she threw a teacup at
his head, and followed it up with the sugar basin.

The latter hit him, and hastily dropping his instrument, he looked over
the top of his spectacles in surprise.

Perceiving that the others had left off playing, he apparently realized
what had happened, and meekly murmuring, “I beg your pardon,” he leaned
forward with one foot up to his ear, to hear what was going on.

“I’m waiting to know what you have to say for yourselves,” resumed
Madame, addressing the Wallypug and myself.

“The traid was late, add there was a fog od the lide,” explained A.
Fish, Esq., mendaciously, with his mouth full of hot porridge.

“A likely story!” said the good lady sarcastically. “A very convenient
excuse, I must say; but that train’s been late too many times recently
to suit me. I don’t believe a word of what you are saying.”

“If I might venture a suggestion,” said the Doctor-in-Law, sweetly,
“I would advise that they should all be mulcted in heavy fines, and I
will willingly undertake the collection of the money for a trifling

“It’s too serious a matter for a fine,” said the Madame severely. “What
do you mean by it?” she demanded, glaring at me furiously.

“Well, I’m sure we are all very sorry,” I remarked, “but I really do
not see that being two minutes late for breakfast is such a dreadful
affair after all.”

“Oh! you don’t, don’t you?” said the Sister-in-Law, working herself up
into a terrible state of excitement; “Well, I do, then. Do you suppose
that you are going to do just as you please here? Do you think that I
am going to allow myself to be brow-beaten and imposed upon by a mere

“Who hasn’t a hat to his back,” interposed the Doctor-in-Law,

“Hold your tongue,” said the Sister-in-Law. “I’m dealing with him now.
Do you suppose,” she went on, “that I am to be openly defied by a
ridiculous Wallypug and a person with a cold in his head?”

“I’b sure I havn’d,” declared A. Fish, Esq., indignantly. “By code’s
beed cured this last bunth or bore.”

“Humph, sounds like it, doesn’t it?” said the lady, tauntingly.
“However, we’ll soon settle this matter. We’ll have a public meeting,
and see who’s to be master, you or I.”

“Hooray, public meeting! Public meeting!” shouted all the creatures

“Yes, and at once,” said the Sister-in-Law impressively, getting up and
leaving the table, regardless of the fact that scarcely anybody had as
yet had any breakfast.

The rest of the creatures followed her out of the room.

When they had quite disappeared and the Wallypug, A. Fish, Esq., and
myself were left alone, I thought that we might as well help ourselves
to some breakfast. So I poured out some of the coffee, which we found
excellent, and had just succeeded in persuading his Majesty to try a
little bread and butter, when some crocodiles appeared at the door and
announced: “You are commanded to attend the trial at once.”

“What trial?” I asked.

“Your own,” was the reply. “You and the Wallypug are to be tried for
‘Contempt of Sister-in-Law,’ and A. Fish, Esq., is subpœnaed as a

“Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” said the poor Wallypug, wringing his hands. “I
know what that means. Whatever shall we do?”

“Dever bide, old chap. I do the best I cad to get you off,” said A.
Fish, Esq. “Cub alog, it will odly bake badders worse to delay.”

So we allowed ourselves to be taken in charge by the crocodiles, and
led to the Public Hall, his Majesty and myself being loaded with chains.

We found the Sister-in-Law and the Doctor-in-Law seated at the judges’
bench when we entered. The Sister-in-Law wore a judge’s red robe, and a
long, flowing wig under her usual head-dress, and the Doctor-in-Law was
provided with a slate, pencil, and sponge.


We were conducted to a kind of dock on one side of the bench, and on
the other side appeared what afterwards transpired to be the witness
box. The body of the hall was crowded with animals, craning their necks
to catch a glimpse of us.

“Silence in court,” screamed out a gaily-dressed ostrich, and the trial

“We’ll take the man creature first,” said the Sister-in-Law, regarding
me contemptuously. “Now then, speak up! What have you got to say for

“There appears to be—” I began.

“Silence in court,” shouted the ostrich, who was evidently an official.

“Surely I may be allowed to explain,” I protested.

“Silence in court,” shouted the bird again.

I gave it up and remained silent. “Call the first witness,” remarked
the Sister-in-Law impatiently, and the Turtle, whom I had seen cleaning
the steps in the morning, walked briskly up into the witness-box.

“Well, Turtle, what do you know about this man?” was the first question.

“So please your Importance, I was cleaning my steps very early this
morning, when the prisoner opened the door in a stealthy manner and
crept out very quietly. ‘Ho!’ thinks I, ‘this ’ere man’s up to no
good,’ and so I keeps him in conversation a little while, but his
language—oh!—and what with one thing and another and noticing that he
hadn’t a hat, I told him he had better move on. I saw him walk over to
the rose garden and afterwards join the Wallypug and Mr. Fish. I think
that’s all, except—ahem—that I missed a small piece of soap.”

“Soap?” said the Doctor-in-Law, elevating his eyebrows. “This is
important—er—er—what kind of soap?”

“Yellow,” said the Turtle. “Fourpence a pound.”

“Hum!” said the Doctor-in-Law, “very mysterious, but not at all
surprising from what I know of this person—call the next witness.”

The next witness was the Cockatoo, who scrambled into the box in a
great fluster.

“He’s a story-teller, and a pickpocket, and a backbiter, and a fibber,
and a bottle-washer,” she screamed excitedly, “and a heartless
deceiver, and an organ-grinder, so there!” And she danced out of the
witness-box again excitedly, muttering, “Down with him, down with him,
the wretch,” all the way back to her seat.

“Ah, that will about settle him, I fancy,” remarked the Doctor-in-Law,
putting down some figures on his slate and counting them up.

“What are you doing?” demanded the Sister-in-Law.

“Summing up,” was the reply. “The judges always sum up in England, you
know; that’s thirty-two pounds he owes. Shall I collect it?”

“Wait a minute till I pass the sentence,” said the Sister-in-Law.

“Prisoner at the bar,” she continued, “you have since your arrival here
been given every latitude.”

“And longitude,” interrupted the Doctor-in-Law.

“And have taken advantage of the fact to disobey the laws of the land
in every possible way. You have heard the evidence against you, and I
may say more clear proof could not have been given. It appears that you
are a thoroughly worthless character, and it is with great pleasure I
order you to be imprisoned in the deepest dungeon beneath the castle
moat, and fined thirty-two pounds and costs.”

Then pointing to me tragically, she called out, “Officers! take away
that Bauble!” And I was immediately seized by two of the crocodiles,
preparatory to being taken below.



“STOP a minute!” cried Madame, as I was being led away. “We may as well
settle the Wallypug’s affair at the same time and get rid of them both
at once. Put the creature into the dock.”

His Majesty was hustled forward, looking very nervous and white, as he
stood trembling at the bar, while Madame regarded him fiercely.

“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” she demanded.

“Ye-e-s!” stammered his Majesty, though what the poor little fellow had
to be ashamed of was more than I could tell.

“I should think so, indeed,” commented the lady. “Now then, call the
first witness.”

The first witness was A. Fish, Esq., who coughed importantly as he
stepped up into the box with a jaunty air. “Let’s see, what’s your
name?” asked the Doctor-in-Law, with a supercilious stare. Now, this
was absurd, for, of course, he knew as well as I did what the Fish’s
name was; but as I heard him whisper to Madame, the judges in England
always pretend not to know _anything_, and he was doing the same.

“By dabe is A. Fish, you doe thadt well edough,” was the answer.

“Don’t be impertinent, or I shall commit you for contempt,” said the
Doctor-in-Law, severely. “Now then—ah—you are a reptile of some sort,
I believe, are you not?”

“Certainly dot!” was indignant reply.

“Oh! I thought you were. Er—what do you do for a living?”

“I’b a teacher of elocutiod add a lecturer,” said A. Fish, Esq.,

“Oh! indeed. Teacher of elocution, are you? And how many pupils have
you, pray?”

“Well, ad presend I’ve odly wud,” replied A. Fish, Esq., “and that the

“Oh! the Wallypug’s a pupil of yours, is he? I suppose you find him
very stupid, don’t you?”

“Doe, I don’t!” said A. Fish, Esq., loyally. “He’s a very clever pupil,
ad he’s gettig od splendidly with his recitig.”

“Oh! is he, indeed; and what do you teach him, may I ask?”

“I’ve taught hib ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star,’ ad ‘Billy’s dead ad
gone to glory,’ ad several other things frob Shakespeare.”

“Shakespeare? hum—ha—Shakespeare? I seem to have heard the name
before. Who is he?”

“A great poet, born in England in 1564, m’lud,” explained one of the

“Really! He must be getting quite an old man by now,” said the
Doctor-in-Law, vaguely.

“He’s dead,” said A. Fish, Esq., solemnly.

“Dear me! poor fellow! what did he die of?”

“Don’t ask such a lot of silly questions,” interrupted the
Sister-in-Law, impatiently; “get on with the business. What has A. Fish
to say on behalf of the Wallypug? that is the question.”

“He’s gettig od very dicely with his recitig,” insisted A. Fish, Esq.
“He was repeatig a speech from Richard III. to us this bordig whed the
breakfast bell rang, ad that’s why we were late at table.”

“Oh! that’s the reason, is it?” said the Sister-in-Law. “Bah! I’ve no
patience with a man at his time of life repeating poetry. Positively
childish, I call it. What was the rubbish?” she demanded, turning to
the Wallypug.

“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,” began his Majesty, feebly.

“What!” shrieked the Sister-in-Law, starting up from her seat. “Say
that again!”

“‘A-a horse, a horse, my-my kingdom for a horse,’” stammered the
Wallypug, nervously.

“Traitor! Monster!” cried the Sister-in-Law furiously. “Hear him!”
she screamed. “He actually has the effrontery to tell us to our faces
that he is willing to sell the whole of this kingdom for a horse. Oh!
it is too much! the heartless creature! Oh-h!” and the lady sank back
and gasped hysterically. At this there was a terrible uproar in the
court—the animals stood up on the seats, frantically gesticulating
and crying: “Traitor!” “Down with the Wallypug!” “Off with his head!”
“Banish him!” “Send him to jail!” while above all could be heard the
Cockatoo screaming:

“I told you so. I told you so! Down with the Wallypug! Off with his
crown! Dance on his sceptre, and kick his orb round the town.”

The poor Wallypug threw himself on his knees and called out
imploringly, “It’s all a mistake,” and I tried in vain to make myself
heard above the uproar.


The whole assembly seemed to have taken leave of their senses, and for
a few moments the utmost confusion prevailed. The creatures nearest to
the Wallypug seemed as though they would tear him to pieces in their
fury, and if it had not been for his jailers, the Crocodiles, I am
convinced they would have done him some injury. “This is outrageous,”
I managed to shout at last. “You are making all this disturbance for
nothing. What the Wallypug said was merely a quotation from one of
Shakespeare’s plays.”

“Oh, it’s all very well to try and blame it on to poor Shakespeare,
when you know very well he’s dead and can’t defend himself,” was
Madame’s reply. “That’s your artfulness. I’ve no doubt you are quite as
bad as the Wallypug himself, and probably put him up to it.”

“Yes. Down with him! Down with the hatless traitor!” screamed the

And despite our protests the Wallypug and myself were loaded with
chains and marched off by the Crocodiles, his Majesty having first
been robbed of his crown, sceptre, and orb, and other insignia of
Royalty by the Doctor-in-Law, who hadn’t a kind word to say for his
old sovereign, and who seemed positively to rejoice at his Majesty’s
downfall. I was highly indignant with his heartless ingratitude, but
could do positively nothing, while all of my protests were drowned in
the babel of sounds made by the furious creatures in the body of the


After being taken from the dock I was marched off in one direction
and his Majesty in another, and the last view I had of the Wallypug
was that of the poor little fellow being limply dragged along by two
Crocodiles in the direction of the dungeons. I was conducted to the top
room of a tower, in an unfrequented part of the palace, and there left
to my reflections, without any one to speak to for the remainder of the

Towards the evening I heard some shouting at the bottom of the tower,
and looking out as well as I could through the barred window, I saw
the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet of newspapers under one
arm—and heard him calling out, in a loud voice, “Special edition!
Arrest of the Wallypug! Shocking discovery! The Wallypug a traitor!
Sister-in-Law prostrate with excitement! The Hatless Man implicated!”
He was doing a roaring trade, as nearly everybody was buying papers
of him, and excited groups of animals were standing about eagerly
discussing what was evidently the cause of a tremendous sensation in
the kingdom of Why.

[Illustration: “I saw the Doctor-in-Law rushing about with a packet
of newspapers under one arm, calling out in a loud voice, ‘Special
edition! Arrest of the Wallypug!’”—Page 82.



I STOOD at the barred window for some time, watching the Doctor-in-Law
rushing about with his papers, and then started back as a huge and
disreputable-looking black Crow settled on the stone ledge outside.

I soon recognized him as being the bird who had behaved so
impertinently to me on my first arrival at Why.

“Well!” he exclaimed, squeezing himself through the iron bars, and
staring at me over the tops of his spectacles. “You have got yourself
into a pretty muddle now, I must say. I should think you are thoroughly
ashamed of yourself, aren’t you?”

“Indeed, I’m not,” I replied. “I’m not conscious of having done
anything to be ashamed of, and as for that trial, why it was a
mere farce, and perfectly absurd,” and I laughed heartily at the
recollection of it.

“H’m! I’m glad you find it so amusing,” remarked the bird
sententiously. “You won’t be so light-hearted about it to-morrow if
they treat you as the papers say they purpose doing.”

“Why, what do they intend to do then?” I exclaimed, my curiosity
thoroughly aroused.

“Execute you,” said the Crow solemnly. “And serve you jolly well right,

“What nonsense!” I cried, “they can’t execute me for doing nothing.”

“Oh, you think so, do you? Didn’t you instigate the Wallypug to become
a traitor, and sell the kingdom for the sake of a horse?” said the
Crow, referring to his paper.

“Certainly not!” I cried emphatically.

“Well, they say you did, anyhow,” said the Crow, “and they intend to
chop off your head and the Wallypug’s too. It won’t matter you not
having a hat then,” he continued grimly.

“But you don’t mean it, surely!” I exclaimed. “They certainly can’t be
so ridiculous as to treat the affair seriously.”

“Well, you see,” said the bird, “things without doubt look very black
against you. In the first place what did you want to come here at all

“I’m sure I wish I hadn’t,” I remarked.

“Just so! So does every one else,” said the Crow rudely. “Then, when
you did come, you were without a hat, which is in itself a very
suspicious circumstance.”

“Why?” I interrupted.

“Respectable people don’t go gadding about without hats,” said the bird
contemptuously, turning up his beak. “And then, the first morning
after your arrival you must needs go prowling about the grounds before
any one else was up.”


“What are you going to leave me in your will?” he continued

“Nothing at all,” I declared. “And besides, I’m not going to make a
will. I don’t intend to let them kill me without a good struggle, I can
tell you.”

“H’m, you might as well let me have your watch and chain. It will
only go to the Doctor-in-Law if you don’t. He is sure to want to grab
everything. I expect he will want to seize the throne when the Wallypug
is executed. I saw him just now trying on the crown, and smirking and
capering about in front of the looking-glass.”

“The Doctor-in-Law is an odious little monster,” I exclaimed.

“Oh, very well,” cried the Crow, wriggling through the bars, “I’ll
just go and tell him what you say. I’ve no doubt he will be delighted
to hear your opinion of him—and perhaps it will induce him to add
something to your punishment. I hope so, I’m sure—ha—ha!”

And the wretched ill-omened bird flew away laughing derisively.

I could not help feeling rather uncomfortable at the turn which events
had taken, for there was no knowing to what lengths the extraordinary
inhabitants of this remarkable place might go, and if it had really
been decided that the poor Wallypug and myself should be executed on
the morrow, then there was no time to be lost in our efforts to effect
an escape.

I was puzzling over the matter, and wondering what was best to be done,
when I heard a bell ringing at the other end of the apartment.

“Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling,” for all the world like the ring of a
telephone call bell.

I ran across the room, and sure enough, there was a telephone fitted up
in the far corner. I hastily put the receiver to my ears, and heard a
squeaky voice inquiring:

“Are you there? Are you 987654321?”

“Yes,” I called out, for I thought that I might as well be this number
as any other.

“Well,” the voice replied, in an agitated way, “Aunt Kesiah has done it
at last.”

“What?” I shouted.

[Illustration: “Are you there?” cried A. Fish, Esq. “Yes; what is it?”
I asked.—Page 89.

“Proposed to the curate, and so all those slippers will be wasted.
Don’t you think we had better—”

But I rang off and stopped the connection, for I felt sure that the
communication was not intended for me.

Presently there was another ring at the bell, and this time I found
myself connected with the exchange. I knew that it was the exchange,
because they were all quarreling so.

“It was all your fault!” “No it wasn’t.” “Yes it was.” “Well, you
know A. Fish, Esq., is 13,579—so there.” “Yes, and he wanted to be
connected with the West Tower in the Palace.”

“Connect me with 13,579, please,” I called.

And a moment or two afterwards I heard a well-known voice sounding
through the instrument, and I knew that A. Fish, Esq., was at the other

“Are you there?” he cried.

“Yes; what is it?” I asked.

“There isn’t a biddit to spare,” he gasped; “lift up the loose stode
dear the fireplace, ad you will find a secret staircase leadig to the
dudgeod, where the Wallypug is ibprisod; hurry for your life, he has
discovered a way of escape.”

I dropped the receiver, and flew to the fireplace. Yes, sure enough,
there was the loose stone that A. Fish, Esq., had spoken of, and having
raised it with some difficulty I found a narrow spiral staircase
beneath, leading down into mysterious depths.

I plunged into the darkness, and after walking round and round, and
down and down, for a considerable time I saw a faint light at the
other end. I hurried forward as quickly as I could, and found myself
in a dimly-lighted dungeon. The Wallypug was here alone, and was
busily cramming everything he could lay his hands on into an enormous

“Thank goodness, you have come!” he exclaimed, in a terrible fluster,
when he saw me. “I was afraid you would be too late. We must escape at
once if we would save our necks. Fortunately, I have just remembered
that this dungeon is connected with the shute which the late Wallypug
had constructed between here and Ling Choo, in China, which is on the
other side of the world—it is enormously long and very steep, but
quite safe—we must use it in order to get away. We are to be executed
in the morning if we stay here, so I am informed; therefore, we must
lose no time. I have just finished packing up. Ah! What’s that?” he
exclaimed, listening intently.

“Quick! they are coming!” he cried, as sounds were heard in the passage
outside the dungeon door; and touching a spring, an enormous opening
appeared in the wall. His Majesty gave me a sudden push, which sent
me sprawling on to a smooth and very steep incline, and jumping down
himself, we slid rapidly away into the unknown.


That we were only just in time was evidenced by the cries of rage and
disappointment which pursued us from the dungeon, as the Doctor-in-Law
and the other creatures saw us escape from their clutches, and we could
hear the Cockatoo’s shrill cries grow fainter and fainter as we sped
swiftly down the shute towards Ling Choo.



DOWN, and down, and down we flew, quicker and quicker each moment.
The shute was as smooth as glass, and grew steeper than ever as we
descended. His Majesty was a little way behind me, but the terrific
rate at which we were traveling made it impossible for us to hold
any conversation. Once or twice I shouted out something to him, but
receiving no reply I soon gave that up. The attitude in which I was
slipping down the shute was a most uncomfortable one, but after a
considerable time I managed to turn over on to my back, and eventually
to twist around, till, at any rate, I was traveling feet foremost,
which was some slight consolation, although naturally I was dreadfully
concerned as to what was to be our fate at the other end of our
journey. “Slipping along at this rate,” I thought, “we shall probably
be smashed to a jelly when we do arrive at the bottom. At any rate I
shall, for the Wallypug and the carpet-bag are bound to descend upon my
devoted head.”

By and by I began to grow very hungry, and then came another dismal
thought. Supposing this extraordinary trip continued for any length of
time, how should we get on for food?

We seemed to be traveling through a kind of tunnel, with very smooth
walls on either side. The Wallypug had said that we were bound for
China, and that that country was on the other side of the world. If so,
then we were in for a pretty long journey. I twisted my head around,
and tried to get a glimpse of his Majesty, who was only a few yards
above me. I could see that he was struggling to get something out
of the carpet-bag, and a few minutes afterwards a little packet of
sandwiches came whizzing past my head. I managed to catch it as it fell
upon the highly-polished boards by stretching out one leg just in time
to prevent it from slipping too far.


The sandwiches were very good, and I enjoyed them immensely, and for
a few moments almost forgot our strange surroundings. I was soon,
however, recalled to a sense of our condition by the fact that we
suddenly emerged from the tunnel into broad daylight, the shute
apparently descending the steep sides of a high mountain. As soon as my
eyes became accustomed to the light I noticed, to my great surprise,
that everything in this new country was of a deep rich blue color. The
rocks on the mountain side, the strange-looking trees, and even the
birds—of which I could see several flying about—were all of the same
unusual tint.

I had hardly noticed this fact, as we flew down the side of the
mountain, when I felt myself suddenly pulled up with a jerk, and lifted
high into the air in a most unaccountable manner, and when, after
a moment or two, I recovered from the shock, I found that both the
Wallypug and myself were suspended from a line at the end of two long
fishing-rods which were fastened into a quaint little bridge crossing
the shute.

There we hung, dangling and bobbing about in front of each other in the
most ridiculous way, the dear Wallypug still clinging to his carpet-bag
with one hand, while in the other he clutched a half-eaten sandwich.
I shall never forget his Majesty’s surprised expression when he found
himself hanging up the air in this unexpected way.

“Like being a bird, isn’t it?” he remarked when at last he found a

“H’m, not much,” I replied. “I feel more like a fish at the end of this
line. I wish some one would come and help us off. There’s a hook, or
something, sticking into my shoulder, and it hurts no end.” You see
there was evidently something at the end of the lines which had caught
into our clothes, and the hook, or whatever it was, just touched my
shoulder. It did not hurt very much, but just enough to make me feel

[Illustration: “I wonder where we are,” said the Wallypug, looking
about him. “What a funny colour everything is, to be sure.”—Page 98.

“I wonder where we are,” said the Wallypug, looking about him. “What a
funny color everything is, to be sure.”

“Yes, isn’t it?” I replied. And truly it was a most remarkable scene.
There was a curious little kind of temple in the distance and a number
of most extraordinary-looking trees; and these, and the grass, and, in
fact, everything that could be seen, were of a bright blue tint.

“I know what those trees are called,” said the Wallypug, pointing to
some remarkable looking ones, with a lot of large blue globes on the
branches instead of leaves.

“What?” I asked.

“Gombobble trees,” said his Majesty. “I’ve seen pictures of them

“Where?” I asked, more for the sake of something to say than for
anything else.

“On our willow-pattern plates at home,” said his Majesty. “There were
those and the wiggle-woggely trees, you know.”

“I wonder,” he continued speculatively, “if by any chance we are there.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I wonder if this is the place which is shown on the willow-pattern
plates,” said his Majesty.

Before I could reply we heard an excited exclamation from the bank,
and turning around as well as we could we saw two curious little blue
people dressed in flowing blue costumes.

“Oh!” they exclaimed, when they saw us, throwing up their hands in a
comical little way, “we’ve caught something. What funny things! What
are they?”

“I wonder if they bite,” cried the shorter of the two.

“Do you bite, you funny things, you?” cried the other, shaking her head
at us.

“No, of course not,” said the Wallypug. “Help us to get down, will you,

“Not yet,” said both of the little blue creatures, shaking their heads
simultaneously. “What are your names?”

[Illustration: “OH!” THEY EXCLAIMED, “WHAT ARE THEY?”]

“I’m the Wallypug,” explained his Majesty graciously, “and this
gentleman is——”

“He, he, he! He, he, he! He, he, he!” giggled the little blue people.
“They’re Wallypugs. Two great big fat Wallypugs. Oh, oh! what funny
things. Let’s go and fetch Ho-lor.” And they ran off as fast as their
little blue legs would carry them.



HIS Majesty and myself stared at each other in dismay. Our position was
growing more and more uncomfortable every moment, and, added to this, I
had a growing impression that the rods to which we were attached would
sooner or later break with our weight.

“Well! I do think that they might have helped us off the hooks, at any
rate,” grumbled his Majesty, discontentedly.

“So do I,” I rejoined, and was about to add something else when my
attention was attracted to the peculiar behavior of the two blue birds
which we had previously noticed circling about over our heads.

They were wheeling round and round in a most eccentric manner, and as
they drew closer we could see that they were as singular in appearance
as they were in their manner.

“Why, they’ve got ever so many wings!” cried his Majesty in surprise.

“Go away!” he shouted, as one of them fluttered past his face. The
birds, however, were not to be got rid of so easily, and, uttering
shrill little cries, they hovered about over his Majesty’s head, every
now and then making a vicious dart at the sandwich which he still held
in one hand.

“Oh! take them away!—take them away!” he shouted, dropping his
carpet-bag in alarm, and evidently forgetting that I was as incapable
as he was of driving them off.

“Throw your sandwich away!” I shouted; “it’s that they are after, I

His Majesty did so, and we soon had the satisfaction of seeing the
birds squabbling over it on the bank at the side of the shute.


“Fortunate I tied my bag to the string of my cloak, wasn’t it?”
remarked the Wallypug, when they had gone. “I should have lost it else.
Oh, look! What’s that coming down the shute?” he cried, as something
suddenly came rolling and bounding down the steep incline.

“O—o—o—h!” he continued delightedly, as it stopped, caught in the
mouth of the carpet-bag which, attached to the cord of his Majesty’s
cloak, dangled down the shute. “Why, it’s my crown! They must have
thought that I wanted it, and sent it down after me. How very kind of
them. Wasn’t it?”

I had my own opinions on the subject, and held my peace, for I felt
quite sure that it was not through any intentional kindness that the
crown had found its way to its proper owner.

His Majesty very carefully drew up the carpet-bag with its precious
burden, and soon had the intense satisfaction of putting the crown of
Why on his royal head once more.

“Oh!” he cried with a little sigh of satisfaction, “it does seem nice
to have it on again. I’m afraid that I should soon have caught a cold
in my head, like A. Fish, Esq., if I had gone without it much longer.”


“Gracious!” he cried, pointing excitedly towards the top of the shute,
“there’s something else coming down! Why it’s the Doctor-in-Law and
Madame. Oh!—and the Cockatoo—and—the Rabbit and the Mole. Bless me!
if the whole of Why isn’t coming along.”

It was quite true; attached to a strong rope a long line of creatures
was coming down the shute, the Doctor-in-Law leading the way.

He soon caught sight of us dangling at the end of our rods, and calling
out “Halt!” in a loud voice, he pulled at the rope as a sign that they
were to stop. This signal was passed along by the others, and the
Cockatoo, who was attached to the rope in a very uncomfortable manner,
gave a loud “squ-a-a-k” as the sudden jerk caused it to tighten about
her neck.

The signal, however, managed somehow to reach those at the other end,
for the procession suddenly came to a standstill.

“Oh, there you are then!” called out the Doctor-in-Law in a severe
voice. “Thought you had escaped us, I suppose.”

The Cockatoo, in a voice choking with rage, and the tightened rope,
shrieked out, “Down with the traitors!” while the Rabbit passed the
word along, “It’s all right. We’ve found them.”

“Just you come down and tie yourself to this rope at once!” called out
Madame, glaring fiercely at the Wallypug.

“Shan’t!” shouted his Majesty defiantly, pushing his crown further on
to his head.

“What!” screamed the good lady, in a terrible passion. “Do you dare to

“Yes, I do,” called out his Majesty bravely. “I don’t believe you are
my sister-in-law at all, and I’m not going back to Why to be snubbed
and ill-treated for you or any one else—so there. You can’t get at me,
hanging up here, and I don’t mean to get down till you’re gone. Yah!”

“Oh, we’ll soon see all about that,” called out the Doctor-in-Law,
working himself to the edge of the shute, and trying to climb up the
steep sides of the bank.

We watched his endeavors with considerable anxiety, for if he did
succeed in getting on to the bank, it would be an easy matter for him
to get at us, by means of the bridge. The rope, however, by which he
was attached to the Sister-in-Law was not sufficiently long to enable
him to do this, and while he was unfastening it there was a sudden cry
in the direction of the tunnel, and a moment afterwards, screaming,
kicking, and struggling, the whole party rapidly disappeared down the

The rope had given way!

“He, he, he! Ha, ha!” laughed his Majesty, as the huddled mass vanished
in the distance. “What a lark! Oh what a muddle they will be in when
they reach the bottom.”

I tried to imagine what would be the result, and came to the conclusion
that, uncomfortable as I was in my present position, I would rather be
where I was than attached to the rope with the others.

In the meantime the little blue people, their curiosity evidently
aroused by the noise, were hurrying towards us as quickly as possible,
bringing with them a very stout blue person, who was waddling along,
being alternately pushed and pulled by the others in their eagerness to
reach us.

“See, there they are!” cried the little lady whose name we afterwards
found out was Gra-Shus. “Oh my! Aren’t they a funny color?”

“Shall we get them down?” asked the other, whose name was Mi-Hy.

The little fat man regarded us critically, and said nothing for a
moment or two, then he nodded his head violently.

“You’re sure you won’t bite?” said Mi-Hy, looking up into my face.

“No, of course not. Don’t be silly,” I replied.

Thereupon, after a great deal of pulling and pushing on the part of
Mi-Hy and Gra-Shus, the rods to which we were attached were swung
around, and the Wallypug and myself alighted, one on either side of the

His Majesty smoothed his rumpled garments, and, adjusting his crown to
a more becoming angle, positively swaggered across the bridge to where
the three little blue people stood in a line to receive us.

“This is Ho-Lor,” said Mi-Hy, pushing the little fat man forward, while
Gra-Shus bashfully hid behind the ample folds of his gorgeous blue

“How do you do?” asked his Majesty graciously.

“Do what?” asked Ho-Lor, smilingly.

“I mean, how are you?” explained the Wallypug.

“You mean _what_ am I, I suppose?” said the little man, putting on a
puzzled expression.

“No, I don’t,” said the Wallypug. “I mean just what I say—How are you?”

“But I don’t understand,” replied Ho-Lor. “How am I what?”

“His Majesty the Wallypug of Why,” I explained, “wishes to say, that he
hopes you are quite well.”

[Illustration: His Majesty swaggered across the bridge to where the
three little blue people stood in a line to receive us.—Page 112.

“Oh! I beg your pardon” said Ho-Lor. “How very stupid of me. But
you know, the fact is, we get such a lot of foreigners down here,
and they do ask such funny questions. A Frenchman we caught the
other day actually asked me how I carried myself. Wasn’t it rude of
him—considering my weight too?”

“You’re a Wallypug, too, aren’t you?” asked Gra-Shus, looking smilingly
up into my face.

“Oh, no!” I replied; “I am only his Majesty’s guest.”

“His Majesty! Do you mean that?” said Mi-Hy, pointing to the Wallypug.

The Wallypug drew himself up with an air of offended dignity.

“I am not a ‘that’; I’m a kind of a king,” he explained, in a tone of

“O-ooh!” exclaimed the little blue people, falling down on their knees
and bowing their foreheads to the ground, with their hands stretched
out before them. “Pray forgive us, Majestuous Wallypug, we thought you
were only an ordinary person. You see we’ve never caught a king before.
Oh! don’t chop our heads off, will you?”


“Of course not,” said his Majesty, kindly.

“But kings always chop off people’s heads, don’t they?” cried the
little people, anxiously.

“Oh dear no,” said the Wallypug.

“Get up; or you’ll spoil your clothes. Could we have a cup of tea,
please? We are rather fatigued with our long journey.”

The little blue people immediately jumped up and led the way to
where behind a clump of curious blue trees the quaintest little boat
you could possibly imagine was moored against the bank. A blue lake
stretched as far as the eye could reach, and a number of little islands
were dotted about it. On one, a little larger than the rest, a quaint
little blue pagoda could be seen.



“I LIVE over there,” said Ho-Lor with pride, pointing to the island
with the pagoda on it. “Mi-Hy shall row us across, and Gra-Shus shall
make us some tea.”

“Oh! yes,” said Gra-Shus clapping her hands. “And we’ll show Mr.
Majesty Wallypug our beautiful pet dog—won’t we?”

It was impossible not to be interested in these quaint and
simple-minded little folk, and after we had all stepped into the little
boat and Mi-Hy had pushed off, his Majesty was soon chatting affably
with Ho-Lor, who explained that he was a mandarin of the Blue Button,
and ninety-eighth-cousin-twice-removed to the Emperor of China.

We soon reached the opposite bank, and his Majesty having been
ceremoniously assisted out of the boat, we ascended a slight hill, and
soon found ourselves before Ho-Lor’s residence. To our great surprise
we found that it exactly resembled the building so familiar to all who
have seen a willow-pattern plate.

The tall pillars at the portico, the quaintly-shaped curly roofs, the
little zig-zag fence running along the path, and the curious trees, all
seemed to be old friends—while two little islands, one of which was
connected to the mainland by a quaint bridge, completed the picture.

The two birds, which had by this time finished squabbling about the
sandwich, were billing and cooing over our heads, and the sight of them
seemed suddenly to convince us of the identity of the spot.

“Why, this must be the land of the Willow-pattern plate,” cried his
Majesty excitedly.

“Yes, it is,” admitted Ho-Lor. “Don’t you think it is a very pretty

“Charming,” declared the Wallypug; “I have often wanted to come here.”

“The real name of the place,” said Ho-Lor, “is Wer-har-wei, and it is
a portion of China; but come, you must see our little dog; I can hear
that Mi-Hy has gone to fetch him.”

“His name is Kis-Smee,” said Gra-Shus, “and he is such a dear old
thing. We’ve had him ever since he was a puppy.”

There was a sound of barking, and a confused clattering of chains,
which told of a dog being unloosed. A moment afterwards there came
bounding out of the house the most extraordinary-looking creature that
I have ever beheld.

It was a very fat and atrociously hideous animal, bearing but slight
resemblance to a dog. Its enormous mouth wore a perpetual grin, and
was decorated at the corners with curious little scallops. It was
bandy-legged, and its hinder legs were much longer than the front ones.
Added to this, the skin on its haunches was wrinkled up into curious
kind of rosettes, while its tail was really all sorts of shapes.

[Illustration: “Come along, good dog! come and speak to the pretty
Wallypugs.”—Page 119.

This beautiful creature came careering down the steps, dragging Mi-Hy
with him, and was hailed with delight by Gra-Shus, who cried in
endearing tones:

“Come along, good dog! Come and speak to the pretty Wallypugs. Good
Kis-Smee. Good dog, then!”

His Majesty clutched my arm nervously, and retreating behind the
carpet-bag, regarded Kis-Smee with a certain amount of suspicion, while
I must confess to having experienced a slight feeling of uneasiness
myself. For if Kis-Smee took it into his ugly head to object to us,
there was no knowing what might be the result.

There was no occasion for alarm, however, for Kis-Smee turned out to
be one of the mildest and best-behaved of dogs.

He made great friends with the Wallypug at once, and clumsily gamboled,
or, as his Majesty explained it, “flumped,” about him in the most
friendly manner.

“He doesn’t take to strangers as a rule,” said Ho-Lor, “but he
certainly seems to have taken a fancy to you.”

“He is a beautiful creature,” said his Majesty, politely patting the
huge animal a little nervously.

“Oh! I don’t know about that,” remarked Ho-Lor, looking very pleased
nevertheless. “He is of a very rare breed, though.”

“What kind of dog do you call him?” I inquired.

“He’s a smirkler dog,” replied Ho-Lor proudly.

“A what?” I exclaimed.

“A smirkler. He smirkles for mivlets you know,” was the reply.

“Good gracious. What are they?” cried the Wallypug.

“Mivlets?” asked Ho-Lor.


His Majesty nodded.

“Why young mivs, of course.”

“But what are mivs?” asked his Majesty curiously.

“Things that are smirkled for,” replied Ho-Lor promptly. “But come. I
see that Gra-Shus has prepared some tea for us.”

We entered the little blue temple and were each presented with a little
blue rug, upon which we sat cross-legged, as we observed that Mi-Hy and
Ho-Lor were doing. Gra-Shus served us in blue cups what tasted like
delicious tea, but which looked exactly like blue ink. No sooner had we
taken a few sips than I noticed that the Wallypug was slowly turning a
light blue color, while at the same moment he stared at me fixedly a
moment, and then exclaimed: “Why, what a funny color you are!”

I looked at my hands, and found them a rich blue shade.

“We look like the Oxford and Cambridge boat race, don’t we?” he
continued: “I’m so glad that I’m Cambridge!”

I did not at all approve of the change, for although we did not look so
very remarkable in the midst of our strange surroundings, I could not
help thinking what an extraordinary object I should be considered in
London if I ever reached that place again.

“Oh! Aren’t they pretty now?” exclaimed Gra-Shus, clapping her hands
and dancing about excitedly.

“I am glad you think so,” I replied, in a huff.

“Don’t you like it? Would you rather have been green? We’ve plenty of
green tea, you know, if you wish.”

“Thanks! I should prefer being my original color, if you don’t mind,” I

“Dear me! I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid we’re out of that color. Let’s
see! Crushed strawberry, wasn’t it?”

“Oh! let’s stay blue for a little while,” pleaded his Majesty. “It’s
such a change, and so very uncommon, you know!”

So blue we remained, and directly after we had finished our tea Mi-Hy
brought around the little blue boat again, and we went for a row on the
ornamental lake.

Somehow or another Kis-Smee was left behind, and although the Wallypug
suggested putting back for him, it was finally decided, however, not to
do so.


“Perhaps he will smirkle a mivlet while we are away,” said Ho-Lor.

And I confidently hoped that he might do so, for I was as curious as
was the Wallypug to know what the term meant.

Just then we passed a curious little blue island with one tiny house on
it, standing in the midst of some curious trees and strangely-shaped
rocks. “Let’s go ashore and fish,” suddenly suggested Mi-Hy.

“Oh! yes, do,” cried the Wallypug. “I love fishing; but I’m never
allowed to do so in my own land.”

“Why not?” inquired Ho-Lor.

“The fishes object,” replied his Majesty, sadly; “they say that it
gives them the tooth-ache.”

“How absurd of them,” said Ho-Lor, sympathetically.

“Yes; isn’t it perfectly ridiculous?” replied his Majesty; “for they
really haven’t any teeth, you know.”

By this time the boat had reached the shore, and we all scrambled out
and assisted Ho-Lor up the steep rocks.

From within the little blue house Mi-Hy brought some rods and lines,
and we began to fish. There was no bait of any kind, but this Ho-Lor
explained was not necessary.

Under the circumstances I was not surprised to find that we did not get
a bite for a considerable time.

At last, however, the Wallypug announced with a delighted shout, “I’ve
got one!” and we all ran over to see what it was.

Slowly his Majesty wound up his line, while Mi-Hy hung over the rocks
with a landing net. “I’ve got it!” he shouted. “Oh, what a beauty!” and
diving his hand into the net, he drew out—what do you think? An empty

I couldn’t help laughing at his Majesty’s disappointed face, but Ho-Lor
seemed positively to think that it was a catch worth having. “It’s in
capital condition,” he exclaimed, examining it critically, “and has a
beautifully-shaped neck.”

“But it’s only an old ink bottle,” objected the poor Wallypug.

“What else did you expect to catch, I should like to know?” said Mi-Hy.
“Some people are never satisfied. Many a time I have fished here a
whole day and only caught a piece of blotting paper or a pen-wiper.”

“What funny things to catch!” exclaimed the Wallypug.

“They are very appropriate things to get from a lake of ink,” said
Ho-Lor rather huffily.

“Oh! I’m sure I beg your pardon, I had no idea it was real ink,” said
his Majesty, apologetically. “I don’t think we had better fish any
longer,” he said putting away his rod. “I hoped to have caught some
real fish, you know.”

“Never heard of them. What are they?” asked Ho-Lor.

“Why, things with scales, you know,” exclaimed the Wallypug.

“Oh, you mean weighing machines,” said Mi-Hy.

“No! no! I mean—”

“Hark! what’s that?” said Ho-Lor, putting his hand to his ear.

“Come on! That’s Kis-Smee barking. I expect he has smirkled a mivlet.
Come along, hurry up, or we shall be too late.”

We hurriedly launched the little boat, and were soon on our way across
the little lake.

The sound of furious barking, mingled with a strangely familiar voice,
came from behind Ho-Lor’s house, and hurrying forward we came suddenly
upon a remarkable sight.

Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gombobble tree to the lower
branches of which A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an agony of fright.

[Illustration: Kis-Smee was prancing madly round a gombobble tree to
the lower branches of which A. Fish, Esq., was clinging in an agony of
fright.—Page 128.

“Lie dowd, sir! Lie dowd, good dog, thed!” he shouted, while Kis-Smee
barked and made sudden furious little darts at the fish’s tail.

“Why, it’s A. Fish, Esq.,” cried his Majesty, hurrying forward
anxiously. “Come away, Kis-Smee! Lie down, sir!”

Kis-Smee left his quarry in the tree, and came bounding up to the
Wallypug, wagging his great clumsy tail delightedly.

“Good gracious!” exclaimed Mi-Hy, staring in amazement at A. Fish, Esq.
“That’s not a mivlet, I’m sure—what on earth is the creature?”

“Oh, that’s A. Fish, Esq., a great friend of mine,” hastily explained
his Majesty, running to his assistance, for when Kis-Smee had left him,
poor A. Fish, Esq., had dropped off the gombobble tree, and was now
lying exhausted on the blue grass beneath.

“What a dreadful bodster!” he cried, waving Kis-Smee off as we
approached. “Keep hib off. Take hib away!”

“It’s all right,” said his Majesty, reassuringly, “he won’t bite you
now that we are here.”

Indeed, directly the dog discovered that A. Fish, Esq., was a friend of
the Wallypug’s, he went up to him, and grinning in an absurd way, held
out a paw to be shaken, which favor, however, was declined by A. Fish,
Esq., who evidently regarded these overtures with a certain amount of
suspicion, and looked greatly relieved when Ho-Lor and Mi-Hy, seeing
that we were engaged with a friend, considerately left us to ourselves,
and took Kis-Smee away with them.



“FANCY seeing you!” cried his Majesty, as we sat down beside the Fish
under the gombobble tree. “How ever did you get here? And what’s the
news at Why?”

“Oh, thad’s a log story,” said A. Fish, Esq., and proceeded to tell us
how that after we had escaped from Why, by means of the shute, there
had been a great commotion in the place, and the Doctor-in-Law was
furious. He declared that we should not slip through his hands in this
way, and had a long conversation with the Sister-in-Law and the others
as to the best way of affecting our capture. Finally they decided to
attach themselves to a long rope, and come down the shute in pursuit
of us.

A. Fish, Esq., made the excuse that his cold was too bad to permit him
to join the party, and waited till they had got a good way down, and
then cut the rope. He thought that this would be the best way of being
of service to us. And so it was, of course, for goodness only knows
where our pursuers were by this time.

A little while after he had cut the rope A. Fish, Esq., came across the
Crow, who told him that he had been informed by two duffer birds (which
was the name of the curious blue birds which we had noticed) that we
were here at Wer-har-wei, and had immediately set about to discover the
best way to get here.

He went in the first place to the station-master at Why, and found him,
as usual, engaged in squabbling with the porter.

They were arguing as to whether a certain signal should be up or down.

The station-master declared that the signal should always be up on the
up line and down on the down line. This the porter would not agree to,
so it was at last decided to put one up and one down and leave them so,
and then the engine-drivers could do as they pleased about going on or


When they had quite settled this dispute, A. Fish, Esq., had asked them
if there were any trains running between Why and this place, and at
first they had said no; but presently the porter remembered that there
was a certain train which started on some days and went no one knew

No one was ever known to travel by it, and the engine-driver, who was
an old salamander by the name of Mike, was deaf and dumb, and could
neither read nor write, so that they had never been able to find out
from him where his train went to. It had some letters on it which
corresponded with those on the station-master’s collar, but no one
had ever been able to discover what they meant. They were popularly
supposed to stand for Weary Waiting and Horribly Wobbly Railway, the
initials on the station-master’s collar being W.W.H.W.R., but A.
Fish, Esq., had by a brilliant inspiration come to the conclusion
that they stood for Why and Wer-har-wei Railway, and when the train,
which consisted of only one carriage and the engine, came into the
station, he jumped in, to the intense surprise of Mike, who had never
had a passenger before, and who in his agitation recklessly put two
shovelfuls of coal into the furnace, and, giving a frantic “toot” on
the whistle, started off at full speed.

“It was a dreadful journey,” said A. Fish, Esq., “ad I dever had so
bedy ups and dowds id all by life.”

We didn’t quite understand what he meant by this at the moment, but a
little later on we discovered the reason to our cost.

After an eventful journey, A. Fish, Esq., had arrived at this place,
and had found on alighting from the train that no one was to be seen,
and he was just about to kick at the door of Ho-Lor’s house when
Kis-Smee came bounding out. Poor A. Fish, Esq., had been terribly
alarmed, and had made for the nearest tree, and was vainly trying to
climb up into it when we made our appearance.

“If I were you,” he advised, “I should certaidly cub back to Why at
odce, for the people all seeb to be rejoiced thad Madame and the
Doctor-id-Law have gode away, ad I think thad they would willingly
forgive you for having said, ‘Ad horse! ad horse! by kigdob for ad

After talking the matter over for a few minutes we decided that perhaps
it would be the best thing to do, and as the little blue station was
only just at the back of Ho-Lor’s house we thought that perhaps by
hurrying we should catch the same train back to Why by which A. Fish,
Esq., had come. So we set out to try and find the little blue people,
to bid them “good-by,” and thank them for their hospitality.

We found them at the station sitting beside Mike, to whom it appeared
they were in the habit of being very kind on his occasional visits.

They seemed quite sorry to hear that we were leaving them so soon,
and insisted upon making the Wallypug a present of Kis-Smee, and of
stuffing into my pocket an enormous gombobble as a souvenir of my
visit. Then there was just time to look at the “train” before we
started. I must say that of all crazy, ramshackle affairs it was quite
the worst that I had ever seen. To begin with, the wheels were all
sorts of shapes, and not one of them was quite round. There was only
one compartment, and that had no windows in it. And the engine! Well,
it was something like Puffing Billy, only a little worse.

There was no room for Kis-Smee in the carriage, so we were obliged to
chain him up on the roof, evidently much to his disgust.

I must confess to a certain feeling of uneasiness when, having taken
our seats, the engine gave a snort, and puffing out a volume of dense
black smoke and smuts, started us on our journey.

By reason of the odd shape of our wheels and the unevenness of the
rails the carriage pitched and tossed about like a ship at sea, and our
passage over a little wooden viaduct, where on either side the little
blue people stood waving their adieux with quaint little flags, was, I
am convinced, attended with considerable danger.

It was really a dreadful journey. The carriage pitched backward and
forward, and rolled from side to side with every revolution of the
wheels, while poor Kis-Smee, on the top, kept slipping about in the
most painful manner. His Majesty’s carpet-bag, which had not been
securely fastened to the top of the carriage, slipped off soon after we
started, and though we rang the bell violently Mike refused to stop,
and it was lost forever.

“Fortunately there was not much in it!” his Majesty gasped between
the jerks which the irregular motion of the train occasioned. “Only a
tooth-brush and small cake of soap.”

[Illustration: The carriage pitched backward and rolled from side to
side.—Page 138.

“But it felt quite full,” I remarked in surprise.

“Yes,” explained his Majesty. “I stuffed it full of paper and things,
because I thought that it would look so bad for a king to be traveling
about without any luggage.”

Just then there was a yelp and a howl from Kis-Smee, and looking out
of the window we found that the poor creature had fallen from the roof
and was hanging down by the chain which was attached to the top of the
carriage, and was in momentary danger of being strangled.

We managed, after a prolonged struggle, to haul him in through the
window, and, although we were rather crowded, to find room for him in
the carriage. We had hardly settled down into our places, however,
before the train came to a standstill, and Mike came to the door in a
great state of agitation.

“Av yez plaze, sor,” he began.

“Why! I thought you were deaf and dumb,” I cried.

“Och—that’s all gammon sure—oi can talk all roight, and hear all
roight too when it suits me purpose. Well, now, ye see when the dog
fell off the roof he upset me coal-scuttle, and never a bit of coal is
there left. Would ye be good enough, kind gentlemen, to go back and
pick some up off the line, it’s only about a moile and a half back.”

The engine, it appeared, could not be reversed, and, as there was no
chance of getting a supply anywhere else, nothing remained but for his
Majesty and myself to go back with the coal-scuttle and pick some of
the spilt coal up.

Kis-Smee bounded delightedly at our side; but we did not take A. Fish,
Esq., with us, as he complained of a pain in his tail, and we feared
that the long walk might make it worse.

“I shall amuse byself while you are away by giving Bike ad elocutiod
lessod,” he said, as we left him.

But Mike, who was undoing his bundle preparatory to having some dinner,
did not look very enthusiastic over the project, and I am almost
certain I heard him mutter, “Not if I know it,” as we were walking away.

We found the coal, as we expected, beside the line, after we had walked
a little over a mile, and his Majesty and myself picked it up, and
packing it in the scuttle, took turns in carrying it back to the train

We had nearly arrived at the spot where the train was waiting for us,
when his Majesty noticed some curious flowers growing in a little copse
beside the line, and we put down our coal-scuttle and went to gather
them. While we were doing so, however, we heard a wild shout, and
looking up beheld an enormously tall and thin man running towards us,
gesticulating violently.

He was waving some wire and leather dog muzzles in one hand.


“Where’s his muzzle?” he demanded, pointing to Kis-Smee. “Can’t you see
the dog is mad and must be muzzled immediately?”

“I’m sure he’s not,” cried the Wallypug, indignantly, and patting
Kis-Smee’s head.

“He is,” declared the man. “All dogs are mad, and I insist upon them
being muzzled.”

“Very well,” I interposed. “You had better try and put a muzzle on this
one yourself.”

“Oh! I’ll soon do that,” cried the man, selecting a large muzzle from
the collection which he carried with him. “Come here, sir! Good dog,

Kis-Smee growled, and grinning more than ever made a dart at the man,
who dropped his muzzles and fled, screaming, “Mad dog! Mad dog!” at the
top of his voice.

His Majesty and myself, laughing heartily at his discomfiture, hurried
back to the train without meeting with any further adventures.

A. Fish, Esq., and Mike seemed to be rather cool towards each other, I
thought, and I heard afterwards that they had not got on at all well
with the “elocution” lesson—in fact, Mike had absolutely refused to be
instructed in that very necessary art.

Of course we told them of our adventure with the man in the wood, and
Mike explained that he was well known as “The Long Man of Muzzledom,”
and was quite harmless, though rather silly, being under the impression
that all dogs and cats were mad and should be muzzled.

“Well, he didn’t muzzle Kis-Smee, anyhow,” said his Majesty, as we took
our seats in the carriage, and the train once more started for Why.

After several hours of bumping and jolting, we were delighted to see
the familiar towers and gables of his Majesty’s palace in the distance,
and knew that we had at last arrived at the end of our journey.



KIS-SMEE was overjoyed to get out of the train, and eagerly strained at
the chain which his Majesty had affixed to his collar, in his endeavor
to get through the barrier.

The porter, however, who pretended not to know us, demanded our tickets.

“It’s all right,” said his Majesty, smilingly. “I’m the Wallypug, you

“Nonsense,” said the porter. “The Wallypug was ugly enough, goodness
knows, but he hadn’t a _blue_ face like you; besides, Wallypug or no
Wallypug, you don’t get through here without a ticket, I can tell you.”

Here was a pretty pickle. We had not thought in the least about
tickets, and in fact had no idea that any would be required.

“I certainly shan’t let you pass the barrier without,” said the porter,
in answer to our explanations.

“But what are we to do?” asked the Wallypug. “Can’t we pay at this end?”

“Certainly not. My instructions are to demand a ticket of every one
passing this barrier, and unless you give me one you cannot go through.”

“But I tell you we haven’t any. Can’t you tell us what to do?”

“Go back for them, I should say,” said the porter, yawning
unconcernedly. “Now then, one thing or another. Are you going to give
me the tickets or not?”

“How can we give them to you if we haven’t any?” demanded the Wallypug.
The porter slammed the door to impatiently, and went a little way up
the platform, turning around to call out warningly, “If we find any
suspicious-looking characters hanging about the station premises we
shoot them.”


“What nonsense!” cried the Wallypug, rattling and kicking the gate.
“We can’t stop here all day. Let’s call the station-master. Hi! hi!
station-master!” he shouted.

No one answered for a few minutes, but eventually a door some little
distance up the platform opened, and the old station-master made his
appearance, puffing and blowing, and followed by the porter, carrying a
huge blunderbuss.

“Now then, what’s all this noise about?” he demanded.

“We want to get out, if you please,” said the Wallypug.

“Where are your tickets,” demanded the station-master.

“We are very sorry,” I began in explanation.

“Hold your tongue, and speak when you are spoken to,” interrupted the

“Where are your tickets?”

“They haven’t any,” explained the porter officiously. “They are trying
to defraud the company.”

“H’m, funny-looking lot of people, too,” remarked the station-master.
“Who are they, do you know?”

“That,” said the porter, pointing to his Majesty, “says he is the

“What! _that_ color!” objected the station-master. “The Wallypug!
Indeed, what nonsense!”

“But, indeed, I am the Wallypug,” declared his Majesty, “and we turned
this color after we drank the tea, you know.”

“Turned blue through drinking tea!” said the station-master

“Ha! ha! a _likely_ story,” laughed the porter derisively.

“Perhaps it will wear off in time,” said the Wallypug, “like being
sunburnt does.”

“Very well then, you had better stop here till it does,” said the
station-master. “Look here!” he cried, turning to the porter, “you stop
here at the barrier, and don’t let them through until they have turned
a respectable color, and you can recognize them.”

“But it may take weeks,” began his Majesty.

“Hold your tongue!” said the station-master sharply. “If you have any
nonsense with them, shoot them,” he added to the porter, depositing the
blunderbuss beside the barrier, and going back to the other end of the

Whatever we should have done I cannot think, if just at that moment the
porter’s wife had not put her head out of the signal-box and called to
him to “come in at once and mind the baby,” while she “did a little

“But he’s on duty, ma’am,” expostulated the station-master.

“I don’t care anything about _that;_ you come in at once, Bill,”
shouted the woman, and the porter meekly left the barrier and
disappeared within the signal-box.

Of course we all rushed through the gate at once, and the
station-master catching sight of Kis-Smee, who had meanwhile slipped
his chain, fled up the platform in dismay.

Kis-Smee, evidently thinking him fair game, started off in pursuit,
and it was not till the station-master had bolted into his office and
locked the door that we could get him to come back to our call.


So soon as we got into the street we met the Turtle and the Pelican,
walking arm-in-arm, and each smoking a cigarette.

“Hullo, Wallypug!” exclaimed the Pelican. “Why, we thought you were at

“Wer-har-wei, you mean,” laughed his Majesty.

“It’s all the same,” announced the Pelican. “Well, how have you been
getting on?”

His Majesty explained as briefly as possible the adventures we had
passed through, and then inquired how affairs were progressing at Why.

“Oh, not very well, I’m afraid,” said the Pelican. “You see, there
has been no one to take the lead since you’ve been away. We tried a
Republican form of government, and elected Oom-Hi as president, but he
became so extravagant—wanted a new top-hat every day, and insisted on
a gilded coach to ride in; and at last we caught him tampering with the
public funds, so we had to dismiss him. Have you heard about Broncho?”

“No,” said his Majesty.

“Well, it didn’t answer as a cough mixture, so Oom-Hi turned it into a
patent meat extract, and called it Vimbril, and it killed ever so many

“Indeed!” exclaimed the Wallypug, anxiously. “Any one I know?”

“Madame and a few other folk,” was the reply; “and the Doctor-in-Law is
not expected to recover.”

“Good gracious! Why, we thought them at the other end of the world.
However did they get back to Why again?”

“Oh, they sent us a cablegram when they got to China, and we let down
an enormously long rope and pulled them up the shute again, you know.
But it was a very long journey, and they had nothing to eat on the
way. So as soon as we hauled them up we gave them each a large dose of
Vimbril. Madame expired at once,” he added, with a sob.

The tears were streaming down the Turtle’s nose as he sympathetically
joined in the Pelican’s weeping.

“What about the Doctor-in-Law?” inquired his Majesty, solicitously.

“Oh, he has a very strong constitution, you know, and he may pull
through. We’ve got him back at the palace in his old quarters.”

“Poor fellow! Poor fellow!” said the Wallypug, sympathetically. “Let’s
go and see what we can do for him.”

I thought this very kind of his Majesty, considering all he had
suffered through the Doctor-in-Law’s ingratitude; but the good-hearted
little fellow was full of sympathy, and hurried towards the palace with
all speed.



“OH my! Good gracious me!” exclaimed a voice as we approached the
entrance to the palace and looking up we beheld the Cockatoo perched
on a window-sill. “Just look at these creatures. _What_ a color. Why,
why,” she exclaimed, peering at us closely, “I’m bothered if it isn’t
the Wallypug and the Hatless Man, and the great Mr. A. Fish, Esq. Where
have you been? What did you come back for? What do you want?” she

“It’s dud of your busidess,” replied A. Fish, Esq., shortly.

“Oh! isn’t it,” said the Cockatoo furiously. “I’ll soon show you
whether it’s none of my business or not. To begin with, the Wallypug
and the headless traitor”—

“Do you mean me?” I interrupted, “because I am not headless yet, you


“Headless, or hatless, it’s all the same,” said the Cockatoo, “you
might as well run about without your head for all the good it is to
you,” she added insolently. “Well you two are escaped prisoners,” she
ran on, “and I shall see that you are locked up again, so there.”

“But it was all a mistake,” said His Majesty mildly.

“What was?” yelled the bird.

“What I said about a ’horse a horse, my kingdom for a horse!’ you
know,” said the Wallypug.

“Why don’t you say what you mean then?” cried the Cockatoo. “Well, I
shall have you locked up anyhow. Here, Crocodile,” she shouted, “just
come and arrest these creatures will you?”

“Shan’t!” replied a voice from within; “who are you ordering about. If
you want them arrested, do it yourself. I’m not going to do as _you_
tell me, so there! besides, all the prisoners have been set free that
Madame sentenced, you know that well enough?”

“Yah! Down with him, down with Crocodiles; down with pale-blue
Wallypugs and hatless men; down with fishes of all sorts. Down with
everybody and everything; down with——.”

We did not stop to hear any more of her ravings, but passed through and
up into the Doctor-in-Law’s old rooms.

We found him looking very weak and ill, but he recognized us all, and
held out his hand to the Wallypug, who told him encouragingly that he
would soon be well again.

“Yes, ad thed I’ll teach you elocutiod for dothig,” promised A. Fish,

The Doctor-in-Law smiled faintly, and whispered that what was keeping
him back most was the thought of the heavy doctor’s bill which he would
have to pay when he got better.

The good-natured little Wallypug made him very happy by promising to
pay this amount for him, and we left the little man looking very much
brighter than when we entered.

[Illustration: We found the Doctor-in-Law looking very weak and ill,
but he recognized us all and held out his hand to the Wallypug.—Page

The rest of the morning was spent in his Majesty’s private apartments,
discussing all sorts of plans for the future, for, as the Wallypug very
properly remarked, now that the Mother-in-Law had gone he should have a
freer hand in the administration of affairs.

A. Fish, Esq., busied himself in preparing an elaborate lecture,
which he said he would deliver in public on the morrow, on the
“Unreasonableness of Misunderstandability,” and which would, he hoped,
clearly explain away the mistake which had been made, in accusing his
Majesty of treason, in connection with his unfortunate recitation of “A
horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!”

While we were thus busily engaged there came an impatient
tap-tap-tapping at the door, and on opening it we beheld the Crow
looking more disreputably untidy than ever. He carried a large bundle
of papers and a quill pen. “Ahem!” he began importantly, “I call on
behalf of the _Daily Whyer_ a new paper which I have just established,
and which I am happy to say has already an enormous circulation in Why.
It is very cheap (four copies for a penny), and contains an enormous
amount of totally unreliable information; besides which there is a page
devoted to domestic matters, highly interesting to ladies, and includes
receipts for artistically furnishing your house with old tea chests
and soap boxes, painted with enamel and draped with art muslin; there
are also several poems weekly on the subject of ‘Baby’s Little Socks,’
which are immensely popular with some people, here is one of them,” he
cried, turning to the back page of his paper, a copy of which he had
with him.

    “Oh! the baby’s little socks,
    Darling baby’s little socks;
  When the kettle’s softly steaming,
  When the firelight’s glow is gleaming,
  And I’m sitting idly dreaming,
    Whisper gently, ‘baby’s socks.’

    “Oh the darling little socks;
    Baby’s _baby’s_ little socks;
  Toys that baby fingers scatter,
  Little feet that pitter-patter,
  Tittle tongues—but there—no matter,
    Let’s get back to baby’s socks.”

“There,” he concluded triumphantly, “what do you think of that?”

“Well, I don’t wish to be rude,” I remarked, “but I certainly think
it’s the greatest rubbish I’ve ever heard in all my life.”

“Rubbish!” he exclaimed, “Why all the ladies who read the _Daily Whyer_
think it _beautiful_. I have to get the same gentleman to write verses
like that nearly every day.”

“Do you mean to tell me,” I replied, “that a man writes such twaddle as

“Oh! you’re jealous, that’s what’s the matter with you. A man write
them? of course he does.”

“And do you pay him for these precious contributions,” I exclaimed in

“I _promise_ to pay him ever so much a year,” said the Crow,
“but—er—ahem—I have a very bad memory. I have several contributors
whom I pay on the same system, it’s a very _cheap_ way,” he sniffled.
“I’ve copied it from a contemporary.”

“Well, we’re very busy just dow,” said A. Fish, Esq., “would you bind
telling us your busidess ad goig, because we wandt to ged to work

“Oh! to tell you the truth,” said the Crow, “I wanted to know if the
Wallypug would let me print an interview with him in to-morrow’s paper.
You have just returned from Wer-har-wei, I believe, haven’t you; I was
sitting on the signal post at the station just now and saw you arrive.
I think my readers would be very interested in hearing your impressions
of the country.”

I took his Majesty aside and pointed out to him that very possibly an
interview with him appearing in the paper would have a good effect on
his people, and he could use it as a means of advertising the reforms
he intended making in the government of the land; and his Majesty
agreeing with me on the point, he seated himself comfortably in his own
particular chair, and the Crow, perching on the back of another, the
interview began.

“Let’s see,” said the Crow, making a great spluttering with his pen,
which was cross-nibbed and broken. “When were you born?”

“Well, really,” said his Majesty, “I, er—was so young at the time that
I scarcely remember.”

“Oh, well, I’ll put it down as Y. D. 987; that will do as well as any
other date.”

“Why Y. D.?” I inquired, curiously.

“Year of disgrace,” was the prompt reply. “Bless me! this must be a
Post Office pen,” he went on, as the pen scattered the ink about in all
directions. “They are always bad, you know.” Then, having asked the
Wallypug no end of questions, not only about our journey, but on all
sorts of private matters also, the wretched-looking bird gathered up
his papers, which were covered with unintelligible blots and scratches
and scattered in all parts of the room, and, tucking them under his
wing, departed, to have the matter set up in print.




THE Crow had scarcely left the room when there was another knock, and
without waiting for a reply the Cockatoo burst into the room in a fine
fluster. She was followed by the Kangaroo and Oom Hi.

“Look at them! _Look at them!_” she blurted out, “did you ever see such
objects in all your life. What a color!”

“Hm! Eggshell blue,” said the Kangaroo, examining the Wallypug
critically. “Very extraordinary tint. Never seen a face that shade

“The other one is worse,” declared the Cockatoo, pointing at me
derisively. “I always knew he was something disreputable. I believe,”
she added, sinking her voice into a hoarse whisper, “I believe he has
let himself out as an advertisement for Stephen’s Blue-black Ink, or
Ricket’s Paris Blue. What depravity. Down with him! Duck him in the
pond! Scrub him with sandpaper! Boil him!” and so she went on.

“What’s all this bother about?” I exclaimed. “Don’t you see that his
Majesty is engaged. If you don’t immediately go about your business I
will have you put out of the room.”

“Oh! will you indeed,” exclaimed the Cockatoo excitedly, “I should like
to see you attempt it. It strikes me that _you_ are the one that will
be put out. We can stand a good deal down here, but a hatless object
with a _blue_ face. Ough!”

“Here, come and do your duty,” she shouted, going to the door, and the
two Crocodiles entered and caught hold of me roughly by the collar.
“Bring them out into the courtyard,” shouted the infuriated bird, and
before I could protest I was bundled unceremoniously out of the house
by the Crocodiles, the Kangaroo and Oom Hi following with the Wallypug.

[Illustration: “Ough! ough!” spluttered his Majesty. “You’re putting it
all in my eyes. Oh, ach! do-o-n’t! Stop! I say, _do_ leave off.”—Page

“Now then,” said the Cockatoo, stopping before a large tub of water
which stood on the ground, “see what soap and water will do.”

The Kangaroo rummaged about and discovered a small hard piece of yellow
soap, and Oom Hi brought forth a good sized sponge, and together they
gave the poor little Wallypug such a scrubbing as I should think he had
never had before in all his life.

“Ough! ough!” spluttered his Majesty. “You’re putting it all in my
eyes. Oh, ach! do-o-on’t! Stop! I say, _do_ leave off. Ough!”

The poor little fellow was nearly choked.

Oom Hi sponged the soap away and the Cockatoo stared critically at the
poor Wallypug, who stood there with the water streaming from his face
and the tips of his fingers.

“Hasn’t done the slightest good,” she declared; “better scrape him with
a putty knife, I think.”

“Stop a minute!” said the Kangaroo, “I have it,” and he went up and
whispered something in Oom Hi’s ear.

“Capital! capital! go and fetch a bottle,” cried Oom Hi, and the
Kangaroo rushed off, returning a minute later with a large bottle
marked Vimbril.

“Oh! don’t! don’t!” cried the poor Wallypug. “I’m not going to take any
of that stuff. It killed the lady who called herself my Sister-in-Law
you know, and it made the Doctor-in-Law ill. Take it away.”

“Of course you are not going to take any, Wallypug,” said Oom Hi
soothingly, “but there will be no harm in trying the effect upon your
complexion. It _might_ make you the proper color again you know, and
in that case I could alter the name and call it ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ and
advertise it well; no doubt it would be a great success. Put some on
the sponge,” he continued, holding it out to the Kangaroo, who poured
out some of the nasty looking stuff.

“No! no! don’t. Ough!” shuddered his Majesty, but despite his protests
his face was well rubbed with the fluid.

“Worse than ever, he’s light brown now,” said the Cockatoo.

“Oh! wipe it off! wipe it off,” implored the Wallypug.

“No!” said Oom Hi, who seemed very greatly disappointed at the
non-success of his experiment, “let it dry on.”

“We had better put him in the stocks,” he declared, “to prevent him
from rubbing it off.” So the poor little Wallypug was led off to the
stocks and securely fastened in, with his hands spread out to dry, and
with strict injunctions not to move till he was told.


The last view that I had of his Majesty was of the poor little fellow,
utterly worn out with his exertions, meekly sitting in the stocks and
falling into an uneasy slumber, from which, however, he was frequently
awakened by the bees and flies, which, attracted by the sticky stuff on
his face and hands, flocked around him as though he were a pot of jam.

“We might keep _this_ as a curiosity,” said the Cockatoo, turning her
attention to me next. “Put in a cage with a large label, ‘Blue-faced
and hatless man, Dangerous!’ he ought to be an attraction to our
menagerie. I think that’s what we’ll do with him,” and despite
my struggles and protests I was ignominiously marched off by the
Crocodiles, who continued to make rude and personal remarks about my
appearance all the way to the dungeon, where it appeared I was to spend
my time till a cage could be prepared for me.

Of course I was terribly indignant at my treatment, but was absolutely
powerless to prevent it And the only thing that I could do when the
Crocodiles had left me alone, after a few parting jeers, was to
consider the best way of effecting my escape.


I was pondering seriously upon this question, when suddenly I
remembered the Gombobble with which the little blue people had
presented me when I left Wer-har-wei. Taking it from my pocket I idly
wondered if it were good to eat or not. It felt soft and looked
something like a huge blue orange or a melon; getting out my penknife
I plunged it in and cut the fruit open. Inside was a white juicy pulp
which looked very tempting, so trusting to its being good to eat I took
a bite.

It was delicious!

I took another bite, and then, happening to look at my hands, I
discovered to my great delight that they were regaining their proper

“Come, this is better,” I cried, tackling a third piece; and then
suddenly remembering the poor Wallypug, I carefully cut the Gombobble
in half and put part of it aside for his Majesty, and was just about to
eat another little piece myself, when, happening to look up, I caught
sight of Mr. Nobody from Nowhere, squeezing through the bars of my
dungeon window.

He was as smiling and happy as ever, and made me an elaborate bow with
an elegant flourish, and then looked so very knowing that I felt sure
that he had something important to communicate.



“HOW do you do?” I began.

The little fellow bowed and smiled and brought forth a scrap of paper
and a pencil.

On the paper he wrote, “Quite well thanks, how are you?” and added the
words, “Can I be of any service to you?”

I pondered a moment, and then recollected that he would be a capital
medium of communication between the Wallypug and myself.

“Do you know where the stocks are?” I inquired.

Mr. Nobody nodded vigorously.

“His Majesty the Wallypug is there,” I ventured.

Mr. Nobody nodded again very energetically, and I could see that he
knew all about it. Moreover he wrote on his paper, “Poor Wallypug!” and
looked most sympathetic.

“Would you like to help him?” I inquired.

The little man nodded again, and seemed quite delighted at the prospect.

Handing him the half of the Gombobble which I had reserved for his
Majesty, I said, “Take this to the Wallypug immediately and, _if he is
quite alone_, tell him to eat it all, and on no account to tell any one
how he became possessed of it.”

Mr. Nobody nodded to show that he understood, and, taking the piece
of Gombobble, he squeezed through the bars of my cell, and was soon
running off in the direction of the stocks.

I awaited his return with some anxiety, and was delighted to see when
he did come back, that his face was beaming with delight.

[Illustration: MR. NOBODY NODDED.]

“His Majesty has regained his complexion, and is very grateful to you,”
he wrote hurriedly, clapping his hands and capering about.

“Now go and tell Oom Hi and the Kangaroo, and if they come to the
conclusion that his Majesty’s complexion has been restored through
using the stuff they call ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ don’t say anything to the
contrary; it will put them into a good temper and perhaps make them
kinder to his Majesty.”

Mr. Nobody seemed quite to understand and hurried off again. He did not
come back, but about half an hour afterwards there was a noise at the
door of my cell, and after a great deal of fumbling at the lock, Oom Hi
and the Kangaroo entered.

Oom Hi carried a basin and the Kangaroo a bottle of Vimbril, or
Wallypug’s Blush, as it was now called.

They looked very amiable, and after some kind remarks about the weather
Oom Hi cleared his throat and said in a sort of apologetic voice:


“Er, we didn’t mean to be _too_ severe, you know, and what we have
done has been all for the best. You will be pleased to hear that my
invaluable preparation, ‘Wallypug’s Blush,’ has proved perfectly
satisfactory, and his Majesty the Wallypug is a living testimony to
its worth. His beautiful complexion has entirely returned, and I have
no doubt if we could persuade you to use it too it would be equally
successful in your case. You will try it, won’t you?” he pleaded

“Of course if my complexion, such as it is, is restored, I shall be
released from here?” I hazarded.

“Oh! certainly,” said both animals at once, and so after
surreptitiously devouring the remainder of the Gombobble, I permitted
the creatures to smear my face over with their precious rubbish on the
distinct understanding that I should be allowed to have a good wash

The Gombobble acted perfectly, and the animals were delighted when they
saw the result, as they of course put it down to the effect of their
“Wallypug’s Blush.”

“Go and fetch the Cockatoo,” said Oom Hi, “she shall judge for

So the Kangaroo went off to fetch her.

“Wonderful preparation, isn’t it?” said Oom Hi, gazing affectionately
at his bottle of “Wallypug’s Blush.”

“Very!” I remarked.

“I _knew_ it must be good for something or another,” he went on, “but
of course we could not tell exactly what till we had tried. It _very
nearly_ cured a cold once, you know, when I called it Broncho, though I
am bound to admit that it was not exactly a success as Vimbril. Do you
think ‘Wallypug’s Blush’ a good title,” he asked anxiously.

“It’s a very striking one,” I admitted.

“I shall advertise it well in the _Daily Whyer_, you know, and—Oh!
here comes the Cockatoo,” he added, as that bird came bustling into the

“Now then, what’s this I hear?” she began, giving me a keen glance;
“‘Wallypug’s Blush’ restored your complexion. Why so it has, though I
cannot say much for it even now. However, since you have no longer a
blue face you are scarcely likely to be valuable as a curiosity, so you
had better get about your business,” and, flinging open the door, the
Cockatoo motioned me out with her crutched stick.

You may be sure I was not long in availing myself of my liberty and
hurrying to the spot where I had last seen his Majesty.

The stocks were empty, but a little further off I found A. Fish, Esq.,
who seemed delighted to see me.

“Well I dever!” he exclaimed; “I heard you were going to be exhibited
as a freak. What stories people do tell, to be sure.”

I briefly explained what had happened and inquired if he knew where the
Wallypug was.

“Oh yes, he’s gode back to the Palace,” said A. Fish, Esq. “He’s id a
rare way aboudt you.”

So I thought it best, in order to relieve his Majesty’s anxiety, to
seek him there.

It was now getting dusk, and seeing a light in his Majesty’s private
apartments, I went up and knocked at the door.

“Come in!” cried a voice which I had no difficulty in recognizing, and
on opening the door I found the good little man pacing to and fro in a
state of great agitation.

“Oh! it’s you,” he exclaimed in a relieved voice, and came forward to
welcome me eagerly. “I was just wondering how on earth I could get you
out of the Cockatoo’s clutches; she’s a wretched creature, isn’t she?”

“Well she is a trial, certainly,” I agreed, “and I think if I were
you I should adopt some very strong measures for preventing her from
interfering as she does.”

“Hm! yes,” said his Majesty, “let’s go and hear what the Doctor-in-Law
has to say about it; he may be able to advise us as to the best way of
putting her down, and though he will probably charge pretty stiffly for
it, his advice _is_ worth having sometimes.”

So we went together to the Doctor-in-Law’s room.

We were surprised to hear several voices talking excitedly within, and
when in reply to a rather impatient “Come in!” we opened the door,
we were astonished to see the Doctor-in-Law in his dressing-gown and
slippers, in busy consultation with Oom Hi, the Kangaroo, and the

“I’ve been greatly interested in hearing of the success of ‘Wallypug’s
Blush,’” said the little man, “and am just helping Oom Hi (ahem, for a
consideration) to draw up a prospectus for turning it into a Limited
Company. In consideration of the payment to me of several thousands
of pounds, I am about to become a director, and am to be paid several
thousands more for persuading the Cockatoo to join the board too.”

[Illustration: We were astonished to see the Doctor-in-Law in his
dressing-gown and slippers, in busy consultation with Oom-Hi, the
Kangaroo, and the Cockatoo.—Page 184.

“But,” I objected, “what do you claim that ‘Wallypug’s Blush’ does?”

“Oh, it restores people with blue complexions to their natural color,
you know.”

“But surely there will be a very limited sale,” I said; “there cannot
be very many people with blue faces, you know.”

“Oh, _of course_, you must try and spoil everything with your absurd
objections,” said the Cockatoo crossly.

“Yes, I really don’t see that your contention has much weight,” said
the Doctor-in-Law. “Provided it is only advertised enough, the public
will buy _any_ rubbish, whether it does what it professes to do or not.
And we shall simply call it ‘Wallypug’s Blush _for the complexion_,’
you know; besides, even if it doesn’t answer, we can turn it into
something else, Boot Polish or Hair Wash, you know.”

And so seeing them so busily and enthusiastically engaged in the
business of drawing up the prospectus, we said good-night and retired
to our rooms.



THE next morning all was excitement at the palace. The news of our
return had spread abroad, and in the morning copy of the _Daily Whyer_,
which his Majesty found on the breakfast-table when we went down, a
full and, I must say, surprisingly accurate account of the interview
appeared, together with the information that his Majesty would attend
Parliament in state in the afternoon, and that an address from the
throne would be read, in which certain changes in the Government would
be suggested. There was also a paragraph about A. Fish, Esquire’s,
lecture upon the “Unreasonableness of ability,” which the editor
advised everybody to try and hear.

His Majesty was in quite a fluster, and we spent several hours in
preparing an elaborate written speech which he was to read out in
the afternoon; and then, having settled this and other matters to
our satisfaction, we took Kis-Smee out for a little walk just before

One of the first persons we met was the Crocodile at the Lodge. He
looked once or twice at his Majesty, as if in doubt, and then at

On seeing the latter his eyes sparkled, and he came up and spoke at

“Hullo, Wallypug!” he began unceremoniously.

His Majesty bowed, a little distantly I thought.

“_What_ a fine fat dog!” exclaimed the Crocodile, pointing to Kis-Smee.
“Is he for sale?”

“Certainly not,” said the Wallypug.

The Crocodile sighed. “Just my luck,” he remarked, “I love dogs and I
should so enjoy taking this one home to tea with me. Perhaps you will
let him visit me sometimes. What’s his name?”


“Kis-Smee,” said his Majesty.

“Oh! really Wallypug, this is so sudden,” said the Crocodile, smirking,
“I’d no idea you were so affectionate. I’m so bashful, too. I couldn’t
really think of kissing you in public.”

“No, no!” explained his Majesty hastily—“Kis-Smee is the dog’s name;
you asked me what his name was, you know.”

“Oh!” said the Crocodile, looking greatly disappointed. “I
misunderstood you. Very sorry, I’m sure. Well, what are you going to do

His Majesty told him of the meeting in the afternoon, and the Crocodile
promised to come.

“That is,” he added, “if I may bring my invalid with me.”

“Who is that?” asked the Wallypug.

“Oh! a very feeble old joke I’ve got staying with me,” said the
Crocodile. “I could bring him in the perambulator, you know—the one I
used to wheel the weak cup of tea about in—he’s such a nice old man.”

“What is he, did you say?” asked his Majesty.

“An old joke,” repeated the Crocodile, “his name is Joe Miller, and
he eats nothing but chestnuts, and even they have to be very ancient
before he can digest them. Oh! he’s a character, I can tell you. Make
you die of laughing the _first_ time you meet him; but as he always
says the same thing over and over again—for hours and hours, he is
rather trying at times. However, I will bring him along, and you can
judge for yourself.”

We left the Crocodile then and went back to luncheon—after which we
set out for the House of Words.

We found that quite a lot of Creatures were waiting in the lobby for
the doors to open.

There was the Doctor-in-Law, telling a funny story to the Pig,
for which he afterwards made a charge of one pound nineteen and
elevenpence, describing it as _Professional Attendance_—and wording
the bill as follows:

  To One pig, one guinea (guinea-pig),   £1  1  0
  “Laugh and grow fat,” one joke,         0  6  8
                                         £1 19 11

And to the Mole, who happened to overhear the joke, he made another
charge; but the Mole got out of paying for it on the plea that he
_couldn’t see it_; but whether he meant the bill or the joke I could
never find out, Moles are notoriously blind.

Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. Fish, Esq., listened,
open-mouthed, while they discussed the state of affairs.

The Cockatoo, irrepressible as ever, held forth on the subject of
Socialism to an interested audience, consisting of the Crocodile
and the Rabbit. While the Crow filled in a few spare moments by
interviewing the Pelican. The Creatures stood aside very politely to
allow his Majesty and myself to enter, Kis-Smee growling ominously at
the Cockatoo, who screamed, “Down with domestic animals,” as he passed.
This remark of hers gave offense to the Pig also, who demanded to know
if she was referring to him.

[Illustration: Oom-Hi was there and the Turtle too, and A. Fish,
Esq., listened, open-mouthed, while they discussed the state of
affairs.—Page 192.

“Of course not,” replied the Cockatoo; “you’re not a domestic animal,
are you?”

“Sure an I am that same in me own counthry,” said the Pig, who was
evidently of Irish descent.

“Och down with the dirthy landlords thin,” screamed the Cockatoo, which
caused the Pig to laugh and put him in a good temper again.

“I couldn’t bring the old joke along after all,” whispered the
Crocodile to me, as we squeezed through the door; “he is more feeble
than ever.” “How’s Kis-Smee?”

“Quite well, I think, thank you,” I replied.

“Isn’t he delightfully fat,” whispered the Crocodile, smacking his
lips. “About three nice large mouthfuls, I should say,” he concluded
mysteriously, winking one eye at me.

I haven’t the remotest idea what he meant, and besides I hadn’t time to
think about it then, for the meeting was about to commence.

We all found seats, and A. Fish, Esq., being called upon to
open the proceedings, he commenced his learned treatise upon the
“Unreasonableness of Misunderstandability.”

What it was all about I haven’t the remotest idea, for what with his
extraordinary way of talking, and the continual interruptions of the
animals, who would keep shouting, “Hear! hear!” “Question!” “Withdraw!”
“Order! order!” etc., at all kinds of odd moments, I could not hear
a word that was being said. Moreover, the hall was unaccountably hot
and stuffy, and for some time I had the greatest difficulty in keeping
awake; and at last my head sank down and I dozed off, awaking at
intervals when the Cockatoo was unusually energetic; but at last even
her voice was silenced, and I remember no more till I awoke with a
start, and found myself, to my great dismay, back again in my own study
in London.

I have addressed several letters to “His Majesty the Wallypug, The
Royal Palace, Why,” as I am very anxious to know how affairs are going
on there; but I am sorry to say they have always been returned through
the post, marked in blue pencil, “_Not known. Insufficient address._”




  “And then on the top of the Caldon Low
  There was no one left but me.”


“I LIKED the blue dwarfs the best—far, far the best of anything,” said

“‘The blue dwarfs!’” repeated Rex. “What _do_ you mean? Why can’t you
say what you mean plainly? Girls have such a stupid way of talking!”

“What can be plainer than _the blue dwarfs_?” said Olive rather
snappishly, though, it must be allowed, with some reason. “We were
talking about the things we liked best at the china place. _You_ said
the stags’ heads and the inkstands, and _I_ say the blue dwarfs.”

“But I didn’t see any dwarfs,” persisted Rex.

“Well, I can’t help it if you didn’t. You had just as much chance of
seeing them as I had. They were in a corner by themselves—little
figures about two inches high, all with blue coats on. There were about
twelve of them, all different, but all little dwarfs or gnomes. One was
sitting on a barrel, one was turning head-over-heels, one was cuddling
his knees—all funny ways like that. Oh, they were lovely!”

“I wish I had seen them better,” said Rex regretfully. “I do remember
seeing a tray full of little blue-looking dolls, but I didn’t notice
what they were.”

Olive did not at once answer. Her eyes were fixed on something she
saw passing before the window. It was a very, very little man. He was
not exactly humpbacked, but his figure was somewhat deformed, and he
was so small that but for the sight of his rather wizened old face
one could hardly have believed he was a full-grown man. His eyes were
bright and beady-looking, like those of a good-natured little weasel,
if there be such a thing, and his face lighted up with a smile as he
caught sight of the two, to him, strange-looking children at the open
window of the little village inn.

“Guten Tag,” he said, nodding to them; and “Guten Tag,” replied the
children, as they had learnt to do by this time to everybody they met.
For in these remote villages it would be thought the greatest breach of
courtesy to pass any one without this friendly greeting.

Rex drew a long breath when the dwarf had passed.

“Olive——” he began, but Olive interrupted him.

“Rex,” she said eagerly, “that’s _exactly_ like them—like the blue
dwarfs, I mean. Only, of course, their faces were prettier—nice
little china faces, rather crumply looking, but quite nice; and then
their coats were such a pretty nice blue. I think,” she went on
consideringly—“I think if I had that little man and washed his face
_very_ well, and got him a bright blue coat, he would look just like
one of the blue dwarfs grown big.”

Rex looked at Olive with a queer expression.

“Olive,” he said in rather an awe-struck tone; “Olive, do you think
perhaps they’re _real_? Do you think perhaps somewhere in this
country—in those queer dark woods, perhaps—that there are real blue
dwarfs, and that somebody must have seen them and made the little china
ones like them? Perhaps,” and his voice dropped and grew still more
solemn; “_perhaps_, Olive, that little man’s one of them, and they may
have to take off their blue coats when they’re walking about. Do you
know, I think it’s a little, just a very little frightening? Don’t you,

“No, of course I don’t,” said Olive, and, to do her justice, her rather
sharp answer was meant as much to reassure her little brother as to
express any feeling of impatience. Rex was quite a little fellow, only
eight, and Olive, who was nearly twelve, remembered that when she was
as little as that, she used sometimes to feel frightened about things
which she now couldn’t see anything the least frightening in. And she
remembered how once or twice some of her big cousins had laughed at
her, and amused themselves by telling her all sorts of nonsense, which
still seemed terrible to her when she was alone in her room in the dark
at night. “Of course there’s nothing frightening in it,” she said. “It
would be rather a funny idea, I think. Of course it can’t be, you know,
Rex. There are no dwarfs, and gnomes, and fairies now.”

“But that little man was a dwarf,” said Rex.

“Yes, but a dwarf needn’t be a fairy sort of person,” explained Olive.
“He’s just a common little man, only he’s never grown as big as other
people. Perhaps he had a bad fall when he was a baby—that might stop
his growing.”

“Would it?” said Rex. “I didn’t know that. I hope I hadn’t a bad fall
when I was a baby. Everybody says I’m very small for my age.” And Rex
looked with concern at his short but sturdy legs.

Olive laughed outright.

“Oh, Rex, what a funny boy you are! No, certainly, you are not a dwarf.
You’re as straight and strong as you can be.”

“Well, but,” said Rex, returning to the first subject, “I do think it’s
very queer about that little dwarf man coming up the street just as
you were telling me about the blue dwarfs. And he _did_ look at us in
a funny way, Olive, whatever you say, just as if he had heard what we
were talking about.”

“All the people look at us in a funny way here,” said Olive. “We must
look very queer to them. Your sailor suit, Rex, and my ‘Bolero’ hat
must look to them quite as queer as the women’s purple skirts, with
bright green aprons, look to us.”

“Or the bullock-carts,” said Rex. “Do you remember how queer we
thought them at first? _Now_ we’ve got quite used to seeing queer
things, haven’t we, Olive? Oh! now do look there—at the top of the
street—there, Olive, did you ever see such a load as that woman is
carrying in the basket on her back? Why, it’s as big as a house!”

He seemed to have forgotten about the dwarfs, and Olive was rather glad
of it. These two children were traveling with their uncle and aunt in
a rather out-of-the-way part of Germany. Out-of-the-way, that is to
say, to most of the regular summer tourists from other countries,
who prefer going where they are more sure of finding the comforts
and luxuries they are accustomed to at home. But it was by no means
out-of-the-way in the sense of being dull or deserted. It is a very
busy part of the world indeed. You would be amazed if I were to tell
you some of the beautiful things that are made in these bare homely
little German cottages. For all about in the neighborhood there are
great manufactories and warehouses for china and glass, and many other
things; and some parts of the work are done by the people at home in
their own houses. The morning of the day of which I am telling you
had been spent by the children and their friends in visiting a very
large china manufactory, and their heads were full of the pretty and
wonderful things they had seen.

And now they were waiting in the best parlor of the village inn while
their uncle arranged about a carriage to take them all on to the small
town where they were to stay a few days. Their aunt was tired, and was
resting a little on the sofa, and they had planted themselves on the
broad window-sill, and were looking out with amusement at all that

“What have you been chattering about all this time?” said their aunt,
suddenly looking up. “I think I must have been asleep a little, but I
have heard your voices going on like two birds twittering.”

“Have we disturbed you, Auntie?” asked Olive, with concern.

“Oh no, not a bit; but come here and tell me what you have been talking

Instantly Rex’s mind went back to the dwarfs.

“Auntie,” he said seriously, “perhaps you can tell me better than Olive
can. Are there really countries of dwarfs, and are they a kind of
fairies, Auntie?”

Auntie looked rather puzzled.

“Dwarfs, Rex?” she said; “countries of dwarfs! How do you mean?”

Olive hastened to explain. Auntie was very much amused.

“Certainly,” she said, “we have already seen so many strange things in
our travels that it is better not to be too sure what we may not see.
But any way, Rex, you may be quite easy in your mind, that if ever you
come across any of the dwarfs, you will find them very good-natured and
amiable, only you must be very respectful—always say ‘Sir,’ or ‘My
lord,’ or something like that to them, and bow a great deal. And you
must never seem to think anything they do the least odd, not even if
they propose to you to walk on your head, or to eat roast fir-cones for
dinner, for instance.”

Auntie was quite young—not so very much older than Olive—and very
merry. Olive’s rather “grown-up” tones and manners used sometimes to
tempt her to make fun of the little girl, which, to tell the truth,
Olive did not always take quite in good part. And it must for Olive
be allowed, that Auntie did sometimes allow her spirits and love of
fun to run away with her a little too far, just like pretty unruly
ponies, excited by the fresh air and sunshine, who toss their heads and
gallop off. It is great fun at first and very nice to see, but one is
sometimes afraid they may do some mischief on the way—without meaning
it, of course; and, besides, it is not always so easy to pull them up
as it was to start them.

Just as Auntie finished speaking the door opened and their uncle came
in. He was Auntie’s elder brother—a good deal older—and very kind
and sensible. At once all thoughts of the dwarfs or what Auntie had
been saying danced out of Rex’s curly head. Like a true boy he flew
off to his uncle, besieging him with questions as to what sort of a
carriage they were to go on in—_was_ it an ox-cart; oh, mightn’t they
_for once_ go in an ox-cart? and might he—oh, might he sit beside the
driver in front?

His uncle laughed and replied to his questions, but Olive stayed beside
the sofa, staring gravely at her aunt.

“Auntie,” she said, “you’re not _in earnest_, are you, about there
being really a country of dwarfs?”

Olive was twelve. Perhaps you will think her very silly to have
imagined for a moment that her aunt’s joke could be anything but a
joke, especially as she had been so sensible about not letting Rex get
anything into his head which could frighten him. But I am not sure that
she was so very silly after all. She had read in her geography about
the Lapps and Finns, the tiny little men of the north, whom one might
very well describe as dwarfs; there might be dwarfs in these strange
Thüringian forests, which were little spoken of in geography books;
Auntie knew more of such things than she did, for she had traveled in
this country before. Then with her own eyes Olive had seen a dwarf, and
though she had said to Rex that he was just an odd dwarf by himself as
it were, not one of a race, how could she tell but what he might be
one of a number of such queer little people? And even the blue dwarfs
themselves—the little figures in the china manufactory—rather went to
prove it than not.

“They may have taken the idea of dwarfs from the real ones, as Rex
said,” thought Olive. “Any way I shall look well about me if we go
through any of these forests again. They must live in the forests, for
Auntie said they eat roast fir-cones for dinner.”

All these thoughts were crowding through her mind as she stared up into
Auntie’s face and asked solemnly—

“Auntie, were you in earnest?”

Auntie’s blue eyes sparkled.

“In earnest, Olive?” she said. “Of course! Why shouldn’t I be in
earnest? But come, quick, we must get our things together. Your uncle
must have got a carriage.”

“Yes,” said he, “I have. _Not_ an ox-cart, Rex. I’m sorry for your
sake, but for no one else’s; for I don’t think there would be much
left of us by the end of the journey if we were to be jogged along the
forest roads in an ox-cart. No! I have got quite a respectable vehicle;
but we must stop an hour or two on the way, to rest the horses and give
them a feed, otherwise we could not get through to-night.”

“Where shall we stop?” said Auntie, as with the bundles of shawls and
bags they followed the children’s uncle to the door.

“There is a little place in the forest, where they can look after the
horses,” said he; “and I daresay we can get some coffee there for
ourselves, if we want it. It is a pretty little nook. I remember it
long ago, and I shall be glad to see it again.”

Olive had pricked up her ears. “A little place in the forest!” she said
to herself; “that may be near where the dwarfs live: it is most likely
not far from here, because of the one we saw.” She would have liked to
ask her uncle about it, but something in the look of her aunt’s eyes
kept her from doing so.

“Perhaps she _was_ joking,” thought Olive to herself. “But perhaps she
doesn’t know; _she_ didn’t see the real dwarf. It would be rather nice
if I did find them, _then_ Auntie couldn’t laugh at me any more.”

They were soon comfortably settled in the carriage, and set off. The
first part of the drive was not particularly interesting; and it was so
hot, though already afternoon, that they were all—Olive especially,
you may be sure—delighted to exchange the open country for the
pleasant shade of a grand pine forest, through which their road now lay.

“Is it a very large forest, Uncle?” said Olive.

“Yes, very large,” he replied rather sleepily, to tell the truth: for
both he and Auntie had been nodding a little, and Rex had once or twice
been fairly asleep. But Olive’s imagination was far too hard at work to
let her sleep.

“The largest in Europe?” she went on, without giving much thought to
poor Uncle’s sleepiness.

“Oh yes, by far,” he replied, for he had not heard clearly what she
said, and fancied it was “the largest hereabouts.”

“Dear me!” thought Olive, looking round her with awe and satisfaction.
“If there are dwarfs anywhere, then it must be here.”

And she was just beginning another. “And please, Uncle, is——?” when
her aunt looked up and said lazily—

“Oh, my dear child, do be quiet! Can’t you go to sleep yourself a
little! We shall have more than enough of the forest before we are out
of it?” Which offended Olive so much that she relapsed into silence.

Auntie was a truer prophet than she knew; for when they got to the
little hamlet in the wood, where they were to rest, something proved to
be wrong with one of the horse’s shoes; _so_ wrong, indeed, that after
a prolonged examination, at which all the inhabitants turned out to
assist, it was decided that the horse must be re-shod before he could
go any farther; and this made it impossible for the party who had come
in the carriage to go any farther either. For the nearest smithy was
two miles off; the horse must be led there and back by the driver,
which would take at least two, if not three, hours. It was now past
six, and they had come barely half way. The driver shook his head, and
said he would not like to go on to the town till morning. The horse
had pricked his foot; it might cause inflammation to drive him farther
without a rest, and the carriage was far too heavy for the other horse
alone, which had suddenly struck the children’s uncle as a brilliant

“There would be no difficulty about the harnessing, any way,” he said
to Auntie, laughing; “for all the vehicles hereabouts drawn by one
horse have the animal at one side of a pole, instead of between shafts.”

But Auntie thought it better to give in.

“It really doesn’t much matter,” she said; “we can stay here well
enough. There are two bedrooms, and no doubt they can give us something
to eat; beer and sausages, and brown bread any way.”

And so it was settled greatly to Olive’s satisfaction; it would give
her capital opportunities for a dwarf hunt! though as to this she kept
her own counsel.

The landlady of the little post-house where they had stopped was
accustomed to occasional visits of this kind from benighted or
distressed travelers. She thought nothing of turning her two daughters
out of their bedroom, which, it must be owned, was very clean, for
Auntie and Olive, and a second room on the ground-floor was prepared
for Rex and his uncle. She had coffee ready in five minutes, and
promised them a comfortable supper before bedtime. Altogether,
everything seemed very satisfactory, and when they felt a little
refreshed, Auntie proposed a walk—“a good long walk,” she said, “would
do us good. And the landlady says we get out of the forest up there
behind the house, where the ground rises, and that there is a lovely
view. It will be rather a climb, but it isn’t more than three quarters
of an hour from here, and we have not walked all day.”

Uncle thought it a good idea, and Rex was ready to start at once; but
Olive looked less pleased.

“Don’t you want to come, Olive?” said Auntie. “Are you tired? You
didn’t take a nap like the rest of us.”

“I am a little tired,” said Olive, which was true in one sense, though
not in another, for she was quite fit for a walk. It struck her that
her excuse was not quite an honest one, so she added, “If you don’t
mind, I would rather stay about here. I don’t mind being alone, and I
have my book. And I do so like the forest.”

“Very well,” said her uncle; “only don’t lose yourself. She is
perfectly safe,” he added, turning to her aunt; “there are neither
wolves, nor bears, nor robbers nowadays, in these peaceful forests.”

So the three set off, leaving Olive to her own devices. She waited till
they were out of sight, then she made her preparations.

“I’d better take my purse,” she said to herself, “in case I meet the
dwarfs. Auntie told me to be very polite, and perhaps they would like
some of these tiny pieces; they just look as if they were meant for
them.” So she chose out a few one-pfennig copper coins, which are much
smaller than our farthings, and one or two silver pieces, worth about
twopence-halfpenny each, still smaller. Then she put in her pocket half
a slice of the brown bread they had had with their coffee, and arming
herself, more for appearance’-sake than anything else, with her parasol
and the book she had with her in her traveling bag, she set off on her
solitary ramble.

It was still hot—though the forest trees made a pleasant shade. Olive
walked some way, farther and farther, as far as she could make out,
into the heart of the forest, but in her inexperience she took no
sort of care to notice the way she went, or to make for herself any
kind of landmarks. She just wandered on and on, tempted first by some
mysterious little path, and then by another, her mind full of the
idea of the discoveries she was perhaps about to make. Now and then a
squirrel darted across from one tree to another, disappearing among the
branches almost before Olive could be sure she had seen it, or some
wild wood birds, less familiar to the little foreigner, would startle
her with a shrill, strange note. There were here and there lovely
flowers growing among the moss, and more than once she heard the sound
of not far off trickling water. It was all strangely beautiful, and she
would greatly have enjoyed and admired it had not her mind been so full
of the queer fascinating idea of the blue dwarfs.

At last—she had wandered about for some time—Olive began to feel

“I may as well sit down a little,” she thought; “I have lots of time
to get back. This seems the very heart of the forest. They are just as
likely to be seen here as anywhere else.”

So Olive ensconced herself in a comfortable corner, her back against
the root of a tree, which seemed hollowed out on purpose to serve as
an armchair. She thought at first she would read a little, but the
light was already slightly waning, and the tree shadows made it still
fainter. Besides, Olive had plenty to think of—she did not require any
amusement. Queer little noises now and then made themselves heard—once
or twice it really sounded as if small feet were pattering along, or as
if shrill little voices were laughing in the distance; and with each
sound, Olive’s heart beat faster with excitement—not with fear.

“If I sit very still,” she thought, “who knows what I may see? Of
course, it would be much nicer and prettier if the dwarfs were quite
tiny—not like the little man we saw in the street at that place—I
forget the name—for he was not pretty at all—but like the blue dwarfs
at the manufactory. But that, I suppose, is impossible, for they would
be really like fairies. But they might be something between: not so big
as the little man, and yet bigger than the blue dwarfs.”

And then Olive grew a little confused in trying to settle in her mind
how big, or how small rather, it was possible or impossible for a
nation of dwarfs to be. She thought it over till she hardly seemed
sure what she was trying to decide. She kept saying to herself, “Any
way, they could not but be a good deal bigger than my thumb! What does
that mean? Perhaps it means more in German measures than in English,

But what was that that suddenly hit her on the nose! Olive looked up, a
very little inclined to be offended; it is not a pleasant thing to be
hit on the nose; could it be Rex come behind her suddenly, and playing
her a trick? Just as she was thinking this, a second smart tap on the
nose startled her still more, and this time there was no mistake about
it; it came from above, and it was a fir-cone! Had it come of itself?
Somehow the words, “Roast fir-cones for dinner,” kept running in her
head, and she took up the fir-cone in her fingers to examine it, but
quickly dropped it again, for it was as hot as a coal.

“It has a very roasty smell,” thought Olive; “where can it have come

And hardly had she asked herself the question, when a sudden noise all
round her made her again look up. They were sliding down the branches
of the tree in all directions. At first, to her dazzled eyes, they
seemed a whole army, but as they touched the ground one by one, and
she was able to distinguish them better, she saw that after all there
were not so _very_ many. One, two, three, she began quickly counting
to herself, not aloud, of course—that would not have been polite—one,
two, three, up to twelve, then thirteen, fourteen and so on up to—yes,
there were just twenty-four of them.

“Two of each,” said Olive to herself; “a double set of the blue dwarfs.”

For they were the blue dwarfs, and no mistake! Two of each, as Olive
had seen at once. And immediately they settled themselves in twos—two
squatted on the ground embracing their knees, two strode across a
barrel which they had somehow or other brought with them, two began
turning head-over-heels, two knelt down with their heads and queer
little grinning faces looking over their shoulders, twos and twos of
them in every funny position you could imagine, all arranged on the
mossy ground in front of where Olive sat, and all dressed in the same
bright blue coats as the toy dwarfs at the china manufactory.

Olive sat still and looked at them. Somehow she did not feel surprised.

“How big are they?” she said to herself. “Bigger than my thumb? Oh yes,
a good deal. I should think they are about as tall as my arm would be
if it was standing on the ground. I should think they would come up
above my knee. I should like to stand up and measure, but perhaps it is
better for me not to speak to them till they speak to me.”

She had not long to wait. In another moment two little blue figures
separated themselves from the crowd, and made their way up to her. But
when they were close to her feet they gave a sudden jump in the air,
and came down, not on their feet, but on their heads! And then again
some of her aunt’s words came back to her, “If they should ask you to
stand on your head, for instance.”

“Dear me,” thought Olive, “how did Auntie know so much about them? But
I do hope they won’t ask me to stand on _my_ head.”

Her fears were somewhat relieved when the dwarfs gave another spring
and came down this time in a respectable manner on their feet. Then,
with a good many bows and flourishes, they began a speech.

“We are afraid,” said the first.

“That the fir-cones,” said the second.

“Were rather underdone,” finished up the first.

Olive really did not know what to say. She was dreadfully afraid that
it would seem so very rude of her not even to have _tasted_ the cones.
But naturally she had not had the slightest idea that they had been
intended for her to eat.

“I am very sorry,” she said, “Mr.——, sir! my lord! I beg your pardon.
I don’t quite know what I should call you.”

“With all respect,” said the first.

“And considering the circumstances,” went on the second.

Then just as Olive supposed they were going to tell her their names,
they stopped short and looked at her.

“I beg your pardon,” she began again, after waiting a minute or two to
see if they had nothing else to say; “I don’t quite understand.”

“Nor do we,” they replied promptly, speaking for the first time both

“Do you mean you don’t know what _my_ name is?” said she. “It’s Olive,
_Olive_” for the dwarfs stood staring as if they had not heard her.
“OLIVE!” she repeated for the third time.

“Green?” asked the first.

“No!” said Olive. “Of course not! _Green_ is a very common name—at

“But you called us ‘blue,’” said the second; and it really was a relief
to hear him finish a sentence comfortably by himself, only Olive felt
very puzzled by what he said.

“How do you know?” she said. “How could you tell I called you the blue
dwarfs?” and then another thought suddenly struck her. How very odd
it was that the dwarf spoke such good English! “I thought you were
German,” she said.

“How very amusing!” said the dwarfs, this time again speaking together.

Olive could not see that it was very amusing, but she was afraid of
saying so, for fear it should be rude.

“And about the fir-cones,” went on the first dwarf. “It is distressing
to think they were so underdone. But we have come, all of us,” waving
his hand in the direction of the others, “to invite you to supper in
our village. There you will find them done to perfection.”

Olive felt more and more uncomfortable.

“You are very kind,” she said. “I should like to come very much if it
isn’t too far; but I am afraid I couldn’t eat any supper. Indeed, I’m
not hungry.” And then a bright thought struck her. “See here,” she went
on, drawing the half slice of bread out of her pocket, “I had to put
this in my pocket, for I couldn’t finish it at our afternoon coffee.”

The two dwarfs came close and examined the piece of bread with the
greatest attention. They pinched and smelt it, and one of them put out
his queer little pointed tongue and licked it.

“Not good!” he said, looking up at Olive and rolling about his eyes in
a very queer way.

“I don’t know,” said Olive; “I don’t think it can be bad. It is the
regular bread of the country. I should have thought you would be
accustomed to it, as you live here.”

The two dwarfs took no notice of what she said, but suddenly turned
round, and standing with their backs to Olive called out shrilly,
“Gueton Tag.” Immediately all the other dwarfs replied in the same
tone and the same words, and to Olive’s great surprise they all began
to move towards her, but without altering their attitudes—those on
the barrel rolled towards her without getting off it; the two who were
hugging their knees continued to hug them, while they came on by means
of jerking themselves; the turning head-over-heels ones span along like
wheels, and so on till the whole assemblage were at her feet. Then she
saw unfolded before her, hanging on the branches of the tree, a large
mantle, just the shape of her aunt’s travelling dust-cloak, which she
always spread over Olive in a carriage, only, instead of being drab
or fawn-colored, it was, like the dwarfs’ jackets, bright blue. And
without any one telling her, Olive seemed to know of herself that she
was to put it on.

She got up and reached the cloak easily; it seemed to put itself on,
and Olive felt very happy and triumphant as she said to herself, “Now
I’m really going to have some adventures.”

The dwarfs marched—no! one cannot call it marching, for they had about
a dozen different ways of proceeding—they moved on, and Olive in the
middle, her blue cloak floating majestically on her shoulders. No one
spoke a word. It grew darker and darker among the trees, but Olive
did not feel frightened. On they went, till at last she saw twinkling
before them a very small but bright blue light. It looked scarcely
larger than the lamp of a glow-worm, but it shone out very distinct in
the darkness. Immediately they saw it the dwarfs set up a shout, and
as it died away, to Olive’s surprise, they began to sing. And what do
you think they sang? Olive at first could hardly believe her ears as
they listened to the thoroughly English song of “Home, sweet Home.”
And the queerest thing was that they sang it very prettily, and that
it sounded exactly like her aunt’s voice! And though they were walking
close beside her, their voices when they left off singing did not so
much seem to stop as to move off, to die away into the distance, which
struck Olive as very odd.

They had now arrived at the trunk of a large tree, half way up which
hung the little lamp—at least Olive supposed it must be a lamp—from
which came the bright blue light.

“Here we are,” said one of the dwarfs, she did not see which, “at the
entrance to our village.” And thereupon all the dwarfs began climbing
up the tree, swarming about it like a hive of bees, till they got some
way up, when one after another they suddenly disappeared. Olive could
see all they did by the blue light. She was beginning to wonder if she
would be left standing there alone, when a shout made her look up, and
she saw two dwarfs standing on a branch holding a rope ladder, which
they had just thrown down, and making signs to her to mount up by it.
It was quite easy; up went Olive, step by step, and when she reached
the place where the two dwarfs were standing, she saw how it was that
they had all disappeared. The tree trunk was hollow, and there were
steps cut in it like a stair, down which the dwarfs signed to her that
she was to go. She did not need to be twice told, so eager was she to
see what was to come. The stair was rather difficult for her to get
down without falling, for the steps were too small, being intended for
the dwarfs, but Olive managed pretty well, only slipping now and then.
The stair seemed very long, and as she went farther it grew darker,
till at last it was quite dark; by which time, fortunately, however,
she felt herself again on level ground, and after waiting half a minute
a door seemed to open, and she found herself standing outside the tree
stair, with the prettiest sight before her eyes that she had ever seen
or even imagined.

It was the dwarf village! Rows and rows of tiny houses—none of them
more than about twice as high as Olive herself, for that was quite big
enough for a dwarf cottage, each with a sweet little garden in front,
like what one sees in English villages, though the houses themselves
were like Swiss châlets. It was not dark down here, there was a soft
light about as bright as we have it at summer twilight; and besides
this each little house had a twinkling blue light hanging above the
front door, like a sign-post. And at the door of each cottage stood
one of the dwarfs, with a little dwarf wife beside him; only, instead
of blue, each little woman was dressed in brown, so that they were
rather less showy than their husbands. They all began bowing as Olive
appeared, and all the little women curtseying, and Olive seemed to
understand, without being told, that she was to walk up the village
street to see all there was to be seen. So on she marched, her blue
cloak floating about her, so that sometimes it reached the roofs of the
houses on each side at the same time.

Olive felt herself rather clumsy. Her feet, which in general she was
accustomed to consider rather neat, and by no means too large for her
age, seemed such great awkward things. If she had put one of them in at
the window of a dwarf house, it would have knocked everything out of
its place.

“Dear me!” thought Olive, “I had no idea _I_ could seem clumsy! I feel
like a great plowman. I wish I were not so big.”

“Yes,” said a voice beside her, “it has its disadvantages;” and
Olive, looking down to see who spoke—she had to look down for
everything—caught sight of one of the two dwarfs with whom she had
first spoken. She felt a little ruffled. She did not like this trick
of the dwarf hearing what she thought before she said it.

“Everything has its disadvantages,” she replied. “Don’t you find
yourself very inconveniently small when you are up in _our_ world?”

“Exactly so,” said the dwarf; but he did not seem the least put out.

“They are certainly very good-tempered,” said Olive to herself. Then
suddenly a thought struck her.

“Your village is very neat and pretty,” she said; “though, perhaps—I
don’t mean to be rude, not on any account——”

“No,” interrupted the dwarf; “Auntie told you on no account to be rude.”

“Auntie!” repeated Olive, in astonishment; “she is not _your_ auntie!”

“On no account,” said the dwarf, in the same calm tone, but without
seeming to take in that Olive meant to reprove him.

“It’s no use trying to make them understand,” said Olive to herself.

“Not the least,” said the dwarf; at which Olive felt so provoked that
she could have stamped her feet with irritation. But as _thinking_
crossly seemed in this country to be quite as bad as _speaking_
crossly, she had to try to swallow down her vexation as well as she

“I was going to say,” she went on quietly, “that to my taste the
village would be prettier if there was a little variety. Not all the
houses just the same, you know. And all of _you_ are so like each
other, and all your little brown wives too. Are there no _children_

“Doubtless. Any quantity,” was the answer.

“Then where are they all?” said Olive. “Are they all asleep?” She put
the last question rather sarcastically, but the sarcasm seemed to be
lost on the little man.

“Yes, all asleep,” he replied; “all asleep, and dreaming. Children
are very fond of dreaming,” he went on, looking up at Olive with such
a queer expression, and such a queer tone in his voice too, that
Olive got a queer feeling herself, as if he meant more than his words
actually said. Could he mean to hint that _she_ was dreaming? But a
remark from the dwarf distracted her thoughts.

“Supper is ready,” he said. “They are all waiting.” And turning round,
Olive saw before her a cottage a good deal larger than the others; in
fact, it was almost high enough for her, with considerable stooping, to
get in at the door. And through the windows she saw a long table neatly
covered with a bright blue table-cloth, and spread with numbers of
tiny plates, and beside each plate a knife and fork and a little blue
glass cup. Two great dishes stood on the table, one at each end. Steam
was rising from each, and a delicious smell came out through the open

“I did not know I was so hungry,” thought Olive; “but I do _hope_ it
isn’t fir-cones.”

“Yes,” said the dwarf; “they’ll be better done this time.”

Then he gave a sort of sharp, sudden cry or whistle, and immediately
all the dwarfs of the village appeared as if by magic, and began
hurrying into the house, but as soon as they were in the middle of
the passage they fell back at each side, leaving a clear space in the

“For you,” said the first dwarf, bowing politely.

“Do you always have supper here altogether like that?” said Olive. “How

“Not at all.” said the dwarf; “it’s a table d’hôte. Be so good as to
take your place.”

Olive bent her head cautiously in preparation for passing through the
door, when again the same sharp cry startled her, and lifting her head
suddenly she bumped it against the lintel. The pain of the blow was
rather severe.

“What did you do that for?” she exclaimed angrily. “Why did you scream
out like that? I——” But she said no more. The cry was repeated, and
this time it did its work effectually, for Olive awoke. Awoke—was it
waking?—to find herself all in the dark, stiff and cold, and her head
aching with the bump she had given it against the old tree-trunk, while
farther off now she heard the same shrill hoot or cry of some early
astir night-bird, which had sounded before in her dreams.

“Oh dear! oh dear!” she sobbed, “what shall I do? Where am I? How
can I ever find my way in the dark? I believe it was all a trick of
those nasty blue dwarfs. I don’t believe I _was_ dreaming. They must
be spiteful goblins. I wish I had not gone with them to see their
village.” And so for some minutes, half asleep and half awake, Olive
stayed crouching by the tree, which seemed her only protector. But
by degrees, as her senses—her common sense particularly—came back
to her, she began to realize that it was worse than useless to sit
there crying. Dark as it was, she must try to find her way back to
the little inn, where, doubtless, Auntie and the others were in the
greatest distress about her, the thought of which nearly made her burst
out crying again; and poor Olive stumbled up to her feet as best she
could, fortunately not forgetting to feel for her book and parasol
which were lying beside her and slowly and tremblingly made her way
on a few steps, hoping that perhaps if she could manage to get out of
the shadow of the trees it might not be quite so dark farther on. She
was not altogether disappointed. It certainly grew a very little less
black, but that it was a very dark night there was no denying. And,
indeed, though it had not been dark, she would have had the greatest
difficulty in finding her way out of the wood, into which she had so
thoughtlessly penetrated. Terrifying thoughts, too, began to crowd
into her mind, though, as I think I have shown you, she was not at
all a timid child. But a forest on a dark night, and so far away from
everywhere—it was enough to shake her nerves. She hoped and trusted
there was no fear of wolves in summer-time; but bears!—ah! as to bears
there was no telling. Even the hooting cries of the birds which she now
and then again heard in the distance frightened her, and she felt that
a bat flapping against her would send her nearly out of her mind. And
after a while she began to lose heart—it was not quite so dark, but
she had not the very least idea where she was going. She kept bumping
and knocking herself against the trunks; she was evidently not in a
path, but wandering farther and farther among the forest trees. That
was about all she could feel sure of, and after two or three more vain
efforts Olive fairly gave up, and, sinking down on the ground, again
burst into tears.

“If I but had a mariner’s compass,” she thought, her fancy wandering
off to all the stories of lost people she had ever heard of. Then she
further reflected that a compass would do her very little good if it
was too dark to see it, and still more as she had not the slightest
idea whether her road lay north, south, east, or west. “If the stars
were out!” was her next idea; but then, I am ashamed to say, Olive’s
ideas of astronomy were limited. She could have perhaps recognized
the Plow and the Pole star, but she could not remember which way they
pointed. Besides, she did not feel quite sure that in Thüringen one
would see the same stars as in England or Paris; and, after all, as
there were none visible, it was no good puzzling about it, only if they
_had_ been there it would not have seemed so lonely. Suddenly—what
was that in the distance? A light, a tiny light, bobbing in and out
of sight among the trees? Could it be a star come out of its way to
take pity on her? Much more likely a Will-o’-the-wisp; for she did
not stop to reflect that a dry pine forest in summer-time is not one
of Will-o’-the-wisp’s favorite playgrounds. It was a light, as to
that there was no doubt, and it was coming nearer. Whether she was
more frightened or glad Olive scarcely knew. Still, almost anything
was better than to sit there to be eaten up by bears, or to die of
starvation; and she eagerly watched the light now steadily approaching
her, till it came near enough for her to see that it was a lantern
carried by some person not high above the ground. A boy perhaps; could
it be—oh, joyful thought!—could it be Rex? But no; even if they
were all looking for her it was not likely that they would let Rex be
running about alone to get lost too. Still, it must _be_ a boy, and
without waiting to think more Olive called out—

“Oh, please come and help me! I’m lost in the wood!” she cried,
thinking nothing of German or anything but her sore distress.

The lantern moved about undecidedly for a moment or two, then the light
flashed towards her and came still nearer.

“_Ach Gott!_” exclaimed an unfamiliar voice, and Olive, peering
forward, thought for half a second she was again dreaming. He was not,
certainly, dressed in blue, and he was a good deal taller than up to
her knee; but still he was—there was no doubt about it—he was a
dwarf! And another gaze at his queer little figure and bright sparkling
eyes told Olive that it was the very same little man who had smiled at
Rex and her when he saw them leaning out of the inn window that very

She didn’t feel frightened; he looked so good-natured and so sorry for
her. And somehow Olive’s faith in the possible existence of a nation of
dwarfs had received a shock; she was much more inclined to take things
prosaically. But it was very difficult to explain matters. I think the
dwarf at the first moment was more inclined to take _her_ for something
supernatural than she was now to imagine him a brownie or a gnome.
For she was a pretty little girl, with a mass of golden fair hair and
English blue eyes; and with her hat half fallen off, and her cheeks
flushed, she might have sat for a picture of a fairy who had strayed
from her home.

Her German seemed all to go out of her head. But she managed to
remember the name of the village where they had been that afternoon,
and a sudden recollection seemed to come over the dwarf. He poured out
a flood of words and exclamations, amidst which all that Olive could
understand was the name of the village and the words “_verirrt_,”
“_armes Kind_,” which she knew meant “lost” and “poor child.” Then
he went on to tell that he too was on his way from the same village
to somewhere; that he came by the woods, because it was shorter, and
lifting high his lantern, gave Olive to understand that he could now
show her the way.

So off she set under his guidance, and, only fancy! a walk of not more
than ten minutes brought them to the little inn! Olive’s wanderings
and straying had, after all, drawn her very near her friends if she
had known it. Poor Auntie and Rex were running about in front of the
house in great distress. Uncle and the landlord and the coachman had
set off with lanterns, and the landlady was trying to persuade Auntie
that there was not _really_ anything to be afraid of; neither bears,
nor wolves, nor evilly-disposed people about: the little young lady
had, doubtless, fallen asleep in the wood with the heat and fatigue of
the day; which, as you know, was a very good guess, though the landlady
little imagined what queer places and people Olive had been visiting in
her sleep.

The dwarf was a well-known person thereabouts, and a very harmless,
kindly little man. A present of a couple of marks sent him off to
his cottage near by very happy indeed, and when Uncle returned a few
minutes later to see if the wanderer had been heard of, you can imagine
how thankful he was to find her. It was not so _very_ late after all,
not above half-past ten o’clock, but a thunderstorm which came on not
long after explained the unusual darkness of the cloud-covered sky.

“_What_ a good thing you were safe before the storm came on!” said
Auntie, with a shudder at the thought of the dangers her darling had
escaped. “I will take care never again to carry my jokes too far,”
she resolved, when Olive had confided to her the real motive of her
wanderings in the wood. And Olive, for her part, decided that she would
be content with fairies and dwarfs in books and fancy, without trying
to find them in reality.

“Though all the same,” she said to herself, “I should have liked to
taste the roast fir-cones. They did smell so good!” “And, Auntie,” she
said aloud, “were you singing in the wood on your way home with Uncle
and Rex?”

“Yes,” said Auntie, “they begged me to sing ‘Home, sweet Home.’ Why do
you ask me?”

Olive explained. “So it was _your_ voice I heard when I thought it was
the dwarfs,” she said, smiling.

And Auntie gave her still another kiss.

                               THE END.

 A. L. Burt’s Catalogue of Books for Young People by Popular Writers,
                     52-58 Duane Street, New York

                           BOOKS FOR GIRLS.

 =Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.= By LEWIS CARROLL. 12mo, cloth, 42
 illustrations, price 75 cents.

“From first to last, almost without exception, this story is
delightfully droll, humorous and illustrated in harmony with the
story.”—=New York Express.=

 =Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There.= By LEWIS
 CARROLL. 12mo, cloth, 50 illustrations, price 75 cents.

“A delight alike to the young people and their elders, extremely funny
both in text and illustrations.”—=Boston Express.=

 =Little Lucy’s Wonderful Globe.= By CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price 75 cents.

“This story is unique among tales intended for children, alike for
pleasant instruction, quaintness of humor, gentle pathos, and the
subtlety with which lessons moral and otherwise are conveyed to
children, and perhaps to their seniors as well.”—=The Spectator.=

 =Joan’s Adventures at the North Pole and Elsewhere.= By ALICE CORKRAN.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“Wonderful as the adventures of Joan are, it must be admitted that they
are very naturally worked out and very plausibly presented. Altogether
this is an excellent story for girls.”—=Saturday Review.=

 =Count Up the Sunny Days=: A Story for Girls and Boys. By C. A. JONES.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“An unusually good children’s story.”—=Glasgow Herald.=

 =The Dove in the Eagle’s Nest.= By CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“Among all the modern writers we believe Miss Yonge first, not in
genius, but in this, that she employs her great abilities for a high
and noble purpose. We know of few modern writers whose works may be so
safely commended as hers.”—=Cleveland Times.=

 =Jan of the Windmill.= A Story of the Plains. By MRS. J. H. EWING.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“Never has Mrs. Ewing published a more charming volume, and that is
saying a very great deal. From the first to the last the book overflows
with the strange knowledge of child-nature which so rarely survives
childhood: and moreover, with inexhaustible quiet humor, which is
never anything but innocent and well-bred, never priggish, and never

 =A Sweet Girl Graduate.= By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth, illustrated,
 price $1.00.

“One of this popular author’s best. The characters are well imagined
and drawn. The story moves with plenty of spirit and the interest does
not flag until the end too quickly comes.”—=Providence Journal.=

 =Six to Sixteen=: A Story for Girls. By JULIANA HORATIA EWING. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“There is no doubt as to the good quality and attractiveness of ‘Six
to Sixteen.’ The book is one which would enrich any girl’s book
shelf.”—=St. James’ Gazette.=

 =The Palace Beautiful=: A Story for Girls. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“A bright and interesting story. The many admirers of Mrs. L. T. Meade
in this country will be delighted with the ‘Palace Beautiful’ for
more reasons than one. It is a charming book for girls.”—=New York

 =A World of Girls=: The Story of a School. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“One of those wholesome stories which it does one good to read. It will
afford pure delight to numerous readers. This book should be on every
girl’s book shelf.”—=Boston Home Journal.=

 =The Lady of the Forest=: A Story for Girls. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“This story is written in the author’s well-known, fresh and
easy style. All girls fond of reading will be charmed by this
well-written story. It is told with the author’s customary grace and
spirit.”—=Boston Times.=

 =At the Back of the North Wind.= By GEORGE MACDONALD. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“A very pretty story, with much of the freshness and vigor of Mr.
Macdonald’s earlier work.... It is a sweet, earnest, and wholesome
fairy story, and the quaint native humor is delightful. A most
delightful volume for young readers.”—=Philadelphia Times.=

 =The Water Babies=: A Fairy Tale for a Land Baby. By CHARLES KINGSLEY.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“The strength of his work, as well as its peculiar charms, consist in
his description of the experiences of a youth with life under water
in the luxuriant wealth of which he revels with all the ardor of a
poetical nature.”—=New York Tribune.=

 =Our Bessie.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“One of the most entertaining stories of the season, full of vigorous
action, and strong in character-painting. Elder girls will be charmed
with it, and adults may read its pages with profit.”—=The Teachers’

 =Wild Kitty.= A Story of Middleton School. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“Kitty is a true heroine—warm-hearted, self-sacrificing, and, as
all good women nowadays are, largely touched with the enthusiasm of
humanity. One of the most attractive gift books of the season.”—=The

 =A Young Mutineer.= A Story for Girls. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“One of Mrs. Meade’s charming books for girls, narrated in that simple
and picturesque style which marks the authoress as one of the first
among writers for young people.”—=The Spectator.=

 =Sue and I.= By MRS. O’REILLY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75

“A thoroughly delightful book, full of sound wisdom as well as

 =The Princess and the Goblin.= A Fairy Story. By GEORGE MACDONALD.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“If a child once begins this book, it will get so deeply interested in
it that when bedtime comes it will altogether forget the moral, and
will weary its parents with importunities for just a few minutes more
to see how everything ends.”—=Saturday Review.=

 =Pythia’s Pupils=: A Story of a School. By EVA HARTNER. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“This story of the doings of several bright school girls is sure to
interest girl readers. Among many good stories for girls this is
undoubtedly one of the very best.”—=Teachers’ Aid.=

 =A Story of a Short Life.= By JULIANA HORATIA EWING. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“The book is one we can heartily recommend, for it is not only
bright and interesting, but also pure and healthy in tone and

 =The Sleepy King.= A Fairy Tale. By AUBREY HOPWOOD AND SEYMOUR HICKS.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“Wonderful as the adventures of Bluebell are, it must be admitted
that they are very naturally worked out and very plausibly presented.
Altogether this is an excellent story for girls.”—=Saturday Review.=

 =Two Little Waifs.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated,
 price 75 cents.

“Mrs. Molesworth’s delightful story of ‘Two Little Waifs’ will charm
all the small people who find it in their stockings. It relates the
adventures of two lovable English children lost in Paris, and is just
wonderful enough to pleasantly wring the youthful heart.”—=New York

 =Adventures in Toyland.= By EDITH KING HALL. 12mo, cloth, illustrated,
 price 75 cents.

“The author is such a bright, cheery writer, that her stories are
always acceptable to all who are not confirmed cynics, and her record
of the adventures is as entertaining and enjoyable as we might
expect.”—=Boston Courier.=

 =Adventures in Wallypug Land.= By G. E. FARROW. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price 75 cents.

“These adventures are simply inimitable, and will delight boys and
girls of mature age, as well as their juniors. No happier combination
of author and artist than this volume presents could be found to
furnish healthy amusement to the young folks. The book is an artistic
one in every sense.”—=Toronto Mail.=

 =Fussbudget’s Folks.= A Story for Young Girls. By ANNA F. BURNHAM.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“Mrs. Burnham has a rare gift for composing stories for children. With
a light, yet forcible touch, she paints sweet and artless, yet natural
and strong, characters.”—=Congregationalist.=

 =Mixed Pickles.= A Story for Girls. By MRS. E. M. FIELD. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price 75 cents.

“It is, in its way, a little classic, of which the real beauty and
pathos can hardly be appreciated by young people. It is not too much to
say of the story that it is perfect of its kind.”—=Good Literature.=

 =Miss Mouse and Her Boys.= A Story for Girls. By MRS. MOLESWORTH.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“Mrs. Molesworth’s books are cheery, wholesome, and particularly well
adapted to refined life. It is safe to add that she is the best English
prose writer for children. A new volume from Mrs. Molesworth is always
a treat.”—=The Beacon.=

 =Gilly Flower.= A Story for Girls. By the author of “Miss Toosey’s
 Mission.” 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“Jill is a little guardian angel to three lively brothers who tease
and play with her.... Her unconscious goodness brings right thoughts
and resolves to several persons who come into contact with her.
There is no goodiness in this tale, but its influence is of the best
kind.”—=Literary World.=

 =The Chaplet of Pearls=; or, The White and Black Ribaumont. By
 CHARLOTTE M. YONGE. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“Full of spirit and life, so well sustained throughout that grown-up
readers may enjoy it as much as children. It is one of the best books
of the season.”—=Guardian.=

 =Naughty Miss Bunny=: Her Tricks and Troubles. By CLARA MULHOLLAND.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“The naughty child is positively delightful. Papas should not omit the
book from their list of juvenile presents.”—=Land and Water.=

 =Meg’s Friend.= By ALICE CORKRAN. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price

“One of Miss Corkran’s charming books for girls, narrated in that
simple and picturesque style which marks the authoress as one of the
first among writers for young people.”—=The Spectator.=

 =Averil.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“A charming story for young folks. Averil is a delightful
creature—piquant, tender, and true—and her varying fortunes are
perfectly realistic.”—=World.=

 =Aunt Diana.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“An excellent story, the interest being sustained from first to
last. This is, both in its intention and the way the story is told,
one of the best books of its kind which has come before us this
year.”—=Saturday Review.=

 =Little Sunshine’s Holiday=: A Picture from Life. By MISS MULOCK.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“This is a pretty narrative of child life, describing the simple doings
and sayings of a very charming and rather precocious child. This is a
delightful book for young people.”—=Gazette.=

 =Esther’s Charge.= A Story for Girls. By ELLEN EVERETT GREEN. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“... This is a story showing in a charming way how one little girl’s
jealousy and bad temper were conquered; one of the best, most
suggestive and improving of the Christmas Juveniles.”—=New York

 =Fairy Land of Science.= By ARABELLA B. BUCKLEY. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“We can highly recommend it; not only for the valuable information it
gives on the special subjects to which it is dedicated, but also as a
book teaching natural sciences in an interesting way. A fascinating
little volume, which will make friends in every household in which
there are children.”—=Daily News.=

 =Merle’s Crusade.= By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price

“Among the books for young people we have seen nothing more unique
than this book. Like all of this author’s stories it will please young
readers by the very attractive and charming style in which it is

 =Birdie=: A Tale of Child Life. By H. L. CHILDE-PEMBERTON. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“The story is quaint and simple, but there is a freshness about it that
makes one hear again the ringing laugh and the cheery shout of children
at play which charmed his earlier years.”—=New York Express.=

 =The Days of Bruce=: A Story from Scottish History. By GRACE AGUILAR.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“There is a delightful freshness, sincerity and vivacity about all
of Grace Aguilar’s stories which cannot fail to win the interest and
admiration of every lover of good reading.”—=Boston Beacon.=

 =Three Bright Girls=: A Story of Chance and Mischance. By ANNIE E.
 ARMSTRONG. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“The charm of the story lies in the cheery helpfulness of spirit
developed in the girls by their changed circumstances; while the author
finds a pleasant ending to all their happy makeshifts. The story is
charmingly told, and the book can be warmly recommended as a present
for girls.”—=Standard.=

 =Giannetta=: A Girl’s Story of Herself. By ROSA MULHOLLAND. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“Extremely well told and full of interest. Giannetta is a true
heroine—warm-hearted, self-sacrificing, and, as all good women
nowadays are, largely touched with enthusiasm of humanity. The
illustrations are unusually good. One of the most attractive gift books
of the season.”—=The Academy.=

 =Margery Merton’s Girlhood.= By ALICE CORKRAN. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“The experiences of an orphan girl who in infancy is left by her father
to the care of an elderly aunt residing near Paris. The accounts of the
various persons who have an after influence on the story are singularly
vivid. There is a subtle attraction about the book which will make it a
great favorite with thoughtful girls.”—=Saturday Review.=

 =Under False Colors=: A Story from Two Girls’ Lives. By SARAH DOUDNEY.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“Sarah Doudney has no superior as a writer of high-toned stories—pure
in style, original in conception, and with skillfully wrought out
plots; but we have seen nothing equal in dramatic energy to this
book.”—=Christian Leader.=

 =Down the Snow Stairs=; or, From Good-night to Good-morning. By ALICE
 CORKRAN. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“Among all the Christmas volumes which the year has brought to our
table this one stands out facile princeps—a gem of the first water,
bearing upon every one of its pages the signet mark of genius....
All is told with such simplicity and perfect naturalness that the
dream appears to be a solid reality. It is indeed a Little Pilgrim’s
Progress.”—=Christian Leader.=

 =The Tapestry Room=: A Child’s Romance. By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“Mrs. Molesworth is a charming painter of the nature and ways of
children; and she has done good service in giving us this charming
juvenile which will delight the young people.”—=Athenæum, London.=

 =Little Miss Peggy=: Only a Nursery Story. By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

Mrs. Molesworth’s children are finished studies. A joyous earnest
spirit pervades her work, and her sympathy is unbounded. She loves
them with her whole heart, while she lays bare their little minds, and
expresses their foibles, their faults, their virtues, their inward
struggles, their conception of duty, and their instinctive knowledge
of the right and wrong of things. She knows their characters, she
understands their wants, and she desires to help them.

 =Polly=: A New Fashioned Girl. By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

Few authors have achieved a popularity equal to Mrs. Meade as a writer
of stories for young girls. Her characters are living beings of flesh
and blood, not lay figures of conventional type. Into the trials and
crosses, and everyday experiences, the reader enters at once with zest
and hearty sympathy. While Mrs. Meade always writes with a high moral
purpose, her lessons of life, purity and nobility of character are
rather inculcated by example than intruded as sermons.

 =One of a Covey.= By the author of “Miss Toosey’s Mission.” 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“Full of spirit and life, so well sustained throughout that grown-up
readers may enjoy it as much as children. This ‘Covey’ consists of the
twelve children of a hard-pressed Dr. Partridge out of which is chosen
a little girl to be adopted by a spoiled, fine lady. We have rarely
read a story for boys and girls with greater pleasure. One of the chief
characters would not have disgraced Dickens’ pen.”—=Literary World.=

 =The Little Princess of Tower Hill.= By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price 75 cents.

“This is one of the prettiest books for children published, as pretty
as a pond-lily, and quite as fragrant. Nothing could be imagined more
attractive to young people than such a combination of fresh pages and
fair pictures; and while children will rejoice over it—which is much
better than crying for it—it is a book that can be read with pleasure
even by older boys and girls.”—=Boston Advertiser.=

 =Rosy.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

Mrs. Molesworth, considering the quality and quantity of her labors, is
the best story-teller for children England has yet known.

“This is a very pretty story. The writer knows children, and their ways
well. The illustrations are exceedingly well drawn.”—=Spectator.=

 =Esther=: A Book for Girls. By ROSA N. CAREY. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price $1.00.

“She inspires her readers simply by bringing them in contact with the
characters, who are in themselves inspiring. Her simple stories are
woven in order to give her an opportunity to describe her characters by
their own conduct in seasons of trial.”—=Chicago Times.=

 =Sweet Content.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price
 75 cents.

“It seems to me not at all easier to draw a lifelike child than to draw
a lifelike man or woman: Shakespeare and Webster were the only two men
of their age who could do it with perfect delicacy and success. Our own
age is more fortunate, on this single score at least, having a larger
and far nobler proportion of female writers; among whom, since the
death of George Eliot, there is none left whose touch is so exquisite
and masterly, whose love is so thoroughly according to knowledge,
whose bright and sweet invention is so fruitful, so truthful, or so
delightful as Mrs. Molesworth’s.”—=A. C. Swinbourne.=

 =Honor Bright=; or, The Four-Leaved Shamrock. By the author of “Miss
 Toosey’s Mission.” 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1 00.

“It requires a special talent to describe the sayings and doings of
children, and the author of ‘Honor Bright,’ ‘One of a Covey,’ possesses
that talent in no small degree. A cheery, sensible, and healthy
tale.”—=The Times.=

 =The Cuckoo Clock.= By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo, cloth, illustrated,
 price 75 cents.

“A beautiful little story. It will be read with delight by every
child into whose hands it is placed.... The author deserves all the
praise that has been, is, and will be bestowed on ‘The Cuckoo Clock.’
Children’s stories are plentiful, but one like this is not to be met
with every day.”—=Pall Mall Gazette.=

 =The Adventures of a Brownie.= As Told to my Child. By MISS MULOCK.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“The author of this delightful little book leaves it in doubt all
through whether there actually is such a creature in existence as
a Brownie, but she makes us hope that there might be.”—=Chicago

 =Only a Girl=: A Tale of Brittany. From the French by C. A. JONES.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“We can thoroughly recommend this brightly written and homely
narrative.”—=Saturday Review.=

 =Little Rosebud=; or, Things Will Take a Turn. By BEATRICE HARRADEN.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“A most delightful little book.... Miss Harraden is so bright, so
healthy, and so natural withal that the book ought, as a matter of
duty, to be added to every girl’s library in the land.”—=Boston

 =Girl Neighbors=; or, The Old Fashion and the New. By SARAH TYTLER.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price $1.00.

“One of the most effective and quietly humorous of Miss Tytler’s
stories. ‘Girl Neighbors’ is a pleasant comedy, not so much of errors
as of prejudices got rid of, very healthy, very agreeable, and very
well written.”—=Spectator.=

 =The Little Lame Prince and His Traveling Cloak.= By MISS MULOCK.
 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“No sweeter—that is the proper word—Christmas story for the little
folks could easily be found, and it is as delightful for older readers
as well. There is a moral to it which the reader can find out for
himself, if he chooses to think.”—=Cleveland Herald.=

 =Little Miss Joy.= By EMMA MARSHALL. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price
 75 cents.

“A very pleasant and instructive story, told by a very charming writer
in such an attractive way as to win favor among its young readers. The
illustrations add to the beauty of the book.”—=Utica Herald.=

 =The House that Grew.= A Girl’s Story. By MRS. MOLESWORTH. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

“This is a very pretty story of English life. Mrs. Molesworth is one of
the most popular and charming of English story-writers for children.
Her child characters are true to life, always natural and attractive,
and her stories are wholesome and interesting.”—=Indianapolis Journal.=

 =The House of Surprises.= By L. T. MEADE. 12mo, cloth, illustrated,
 price 75 cents.

“A charming tale of charming children, who are naughty enough to be
interesting, and natural enough to be lovable; and very prettily their
story is told. The quaintest yet most natural stories of child life.
Simply delightful.”—=Vanity Fair.=

 =The Jolly Ten: and their Year of Stories.= By AGNES CARR SAGE. 12mo,
 cloth, illustrated, price 75 cents.

The story of a band of cousins who were accustomed to meet at the
“Pinery,” with “Aunt Roxy.” At her fireside they play merry games,
have suppers flavored with innocent fun, and listen to stories—each
with its lesson calculated to make the ten not less jolly, but quickly
responsive to the calls of duty and to the needs of others.

 =Little Miss Dorothy.= The Wonderful Adventures of Two Little People.
 By MARTHA JAMES. 12mo, cloth, illustrated, price 75c.

“This is a charming little juvenile story from the pen of Mrs. James,
detailing the various adventures of a couple of young children. Their
many adventures are told in a charming manner, and the book will please
young girls and boys.”—=Montreal Star.=

 =Pen’s Venture.= A Story for Girls. By ELVIRTON WRIGHT. 12mo, cloth,
 illustrated, price 75 cents.

Something Pen saw in the condition of the cash girls in a certain
store gave her a thought; the thought became a plan; the plan became
a venture—Pen’s venture. It is amusing, touching, and instructive to
read about it.

For sale by all booksellers, or sent postpaid on receipt of price by
the publisher, =A. L. BURT, 52-58 Duane Street, New York=.

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