Title: The Two Christmas Boxes - A Play for Girls
Author: Yale, Elsie Duncan
Language: English
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The Two Christmas Boxes.

    BY
    ELSIE DUNCAN YALE.

[Illustration]

    PRICE 25 CENTS


    Eldridge Entertainment House
    Franklin, Ohio



TWO PLAYS FOR BOYS

By SEYMOUR S. TIBBALS.

Mr. Tibbals has been unusually successful in furnishing boys’ plays
that introduce characters true to life. While the plays are strong and
forceful in the lessons they teach, clean comedy predominates and the
boys like them.


“The Millionaire Janitor”

A comedy in two acts. Here is a rollicking play for eight or more boys
with plenty of action. Just the thing for a Boys’ Class or Junior Y.
M. C. A. Easily staged and costumed. Opportunity for introduction of
musical numbers and recitations. By introducing such features the play
may be used for an entire evening’s entertainment.

    =Price 25 Cents=


“Up Caesar’s Creek”

A splendid play for any number of boys. The characters are real boys
and the play deals with their experiences while camping up Caesar’s
Creek the performance closing with a minstrel show in camp. Costumes
and scenery are not elaborate and the play may be produced on any stage.

    =Price 25 Cents=

These comedies are protected by copyright, but permission for amateur
production is granted with the purchase of the book.


    ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE
    Franklin, Ohio



    THE TWO CHRISTMAS BOXES


    A Play for Girls.


    By ELSIE DUNCAN YALE


    Copyright, 1915, Eldridge Entertainment House


    PUBLISHED BY
    ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE,
    FRANKLIN, - OHIO



CHARACTERS


    MRS. JENKINS       President of the Ladies’ Aid
    MRS. HODGES           Member of the Ladies’ Aid
    MRS. BANKS            Member of the Ladies’ Aid
    MRS. WINTER           Member of the Ladies’ Aid
    MISS LOOMIS           Member of the Ladies’ Aid
    MRS. DAVID BROWN          Missionary in Montana
    DOROTHY BROWN            Daughter of Mrs. Brown
    MILDRED BANKS            Daughter of Mrs. Banks
    MRS. WORTHINGTON    Sister-in-law of Mrs. Banks
    GLADYS             Daughter of Mrs. Worthington
    MARIE                                    A Maid

The members of the Aid Society wear plain, rather old-fashioned street
dresses, with the exception of Miss Loomis, whose dress should be so
old-fashioned as to be amusing. In the first scene Mrs. Banks wears a
plain house dress with white apron. Mrs. David Brown should be dressed
neatly but plainly, and Dorothy wears shirtwaist and skirt. Mrs.
Worthington should appear in an elaborate negligee, and Gladys in a
pretty house dress, while Marie wears black dress, white apron and cap.
Mildred wears sweater, cap and dark skirt. Beneath the sweater is worn
a middy blouse.

The first and last scenes take place in Mrs. Banks’ sitting room. A
few chairs, a bookcase, pictures and table will be required, also two
wooden boxes, exactly alike.

In the second scene a poorly furnished kitchen or living room is
represented. Plain wood chairs should be used, while a red cover should
be upon the table. Mrs. Brown should have a large mending basket beside
her. The Christmas box should be in the foreground.

The third scene should represent the living room of an apartment, and
should be as handsomely furnished as possible. The Christmas box should
be at the side of the room, but before unpacking, should be drawn into
the foreground.



The Two Christmas Boxes.



SCENE I.


(_Mrs. Banks enters carrying large pile of clothing, which she deposits
upon a chair._)

_Mrs. Banks._ Dear me, that was heavy! Now for the newspapers.

(_Exit and returns with newspapers which she places on a table near the
pile of clothing._)

_Mrs. B._ Now I have twine all ready and scissors, and everything but
the folks to do the work. It’s the same way in every church. A few are
willing to do all the work and the rest are all willing to have them.
There comes Martha Jenkins now!

(_Hurriedly straightens sofa cushion, changes position of chairs,
smoothes hair._)

(_Enter Mrs. Jenkins._)

_Mrs. B._ (_effusively_). Well, Martha, I am glad to see you! I began
to think that not a soul was coming to help me pack the missionary box.
Take off your things!

_Mrs. Jenkins._ Thank you. (_Removes hat, gloves and coat._)

_Mrs. B._ What a pretty waist! Did you buy it ready made?

_Mrs. J._ New! No indeed! I made that out of last year’s and the one
before that pieced together. John has read an article about how you can
make nice dresses out of stuff you have in the rag bag, so he says I’m
just as smart as the woman that wrote that article, and he wanted me to
try it. (_sits_).

_Mrs. Banks._ Well, William did say something about that to me, so I
suppose he read the same article, so I said all right, but I’d have to
economize on him too. I’d cut off the tops of his socks for wristlets
for cold weather, and I’d make neckties out of Mildred’s hairbows for
him, and I’d try to make over his old frock coat into a sack coat to
wear to the store on week days, so that silenced him all right!

_Mrs. Jenkins._ There’s really no reason for economy being an
exclusively feminine virtue.

_Mrs. B._ (_Taking up several of the articles from the pile of
clothing_). These things look as if somebody had been economizing all
right.

_Mrs. J._ (_placing newspaper carefully in the bottom of the box_).
Suppose we get busy now and pack the box.

_Mrs. B._ (_doubtfully_). I don’t believe any of the others are coming.

_Mrs. J._ Emmeline Miller told me she couldn’t come on account of
domestic affliction.

_Mrs. B._ (_surprised_). How terrible! What was it?

_Mrs. J._ Her husband’s mother and two aunts have come to spend a week,
and Emmeline said if that wasn’t domestic affliction she didn’t know
what was!

_Mrs. B._ Well we can soon get the box packed. Here’s a nice overcoat!
(_Holds it up._)

_Mrs. J._ Marcia Hill sent that. The sleeves are a bit raggedy and the
lining is torn quite badly but the missionary’s wife can fix it. They
say that’s one of the qualifications of a missionary’s wife to be able
to do anything.

_Mrs. B._ I’ll fold it and wrap it and you can put it in the box.
(_folds coat, wraps in paper. Hands to Mrs. Jenkins who places it in
the box_).

_Mrs. B._ I’m going to give this white shawl. (_Holds up shawl._) It
really ought to be cleaned or washed but I simply haven’t the time. You
know how busy everyone is just before Christmas.

_Mrs. J._ O that can easily be cleaned in cornmeal or flour or
gasoline, I forget which, (_aside_). I should think she’d be ashamed to
send it!

_Mrs. B._ (_wrapping shawl_). I know that the missionaries lead much
simpler lives than we do so of course they have more time.

_Mrs. J._ Hand it to me and I’ll put it beside the overcoat.

_Mrs. B._ Mrs. Hodges sent this dress of Clara’s. (_Holds up dress._)

_Mrs. J._ It’s rather fadey looking but there’s a lot of wear in it yet.

_Mrs. B._ There’s a guimpe that goes with it, but when I asked Clara
for it, she said her mother said the guimpe was too good to give away.

_Mrs. J._ (_examining dress_). It isn’t a bad quality gingham and it
could easily be boiled out and used for a white dress. Wrap it up and
hand it over, (_aside_). If she is going to hold a farewell service
over every last thing that goes in the box, we’ll never get it packed.

_Mrs. B._ Here’s Emmeline Miller’s red dress! (_holding up shabby
dress._)

_Mrs. J._ (_surprised_). O that dress! I don’t see how she ever brought
herself to part with it for she has worn it years and years!

_Mrs. B._ The material isn’t so bad and it can be scoured, and scrubbed
and pressed and mended and it will look quite respectable. (_Wraps
dress and hands to Mrs. J._) I’m going to give this suit of Albert’s.
Albert simply insists that he will not wear it another day, and so I
thought it would do very well for the missionary’s son. (_Holds up
patched and worn suit._)

_Mrs. J._ Well, I’m sure the missionary’s son will be very thankful to
get it. (_Places suit in box._)

_Mrs. B._ I’m going to give these ties too. (_holds up gaudy ties_).
Two or three of them are new but Albert is so fussy he won’t wear them.
I’m afraid I’ve brought him up to be too particular.

_Mrs. J._ I’m afraid you have, Louisa.

_Mrs. B._ (_indignantly_). I don’t know as he is any more fussy than
anybody else’s boy. I like to see a boy particular about what he wears.
(_Folds ties and wraps them._)

_Mrs. J._ (_apologetically_). Well, don’t get mad, Louisa. I was just
agreeing with you. (_aside_). Isn’t she a tinder-box when anybody
mentions her boy!

_Mrs. B._ Here’s a cape from Mrs. Winter. It’s warm, but you can’t say
much else about it.

_Mrs. J._ Why it will be just the thing for those cold Montana winters.
I think the missionary’s wife will be glad to get it.

_Mrs. B._ (_examining cape_). You see its some moth-eaten and I was
scared for fear it would get moths in my house. I never have them.

_Mrs. J._ Well wrap it up quick, and I’ll tuck it in here beside the
other things. Why we are getting quite a box full. (_Places package in
box._)

_Mrs. B._ I thought I would contribute this red wrapper. It’s warm,
even though it isn’t so good looking. (_Holds up shabby wrapper._)

_Mrs. J._ I’m sure that will be very useful. But what’s that?

_Mrs. B._ Miss Loomis has actually contributed her hat. Isn’t it awful?

_Mrs. J._ (_hesitating_). Really Louisa, we can’t send that! It’s
terrible!

_Mrs. B._ Miss Loomis would never forgive me if I didn’t. I’d like to
put it in the ash barrel though. (_Holds up hat._)

_Mrs. J._ Let’s see it! (_examines hat_). Well, I suppose if it were
steamed and pressed and dyed and other trimming put on, it wouldn’t be
so bad. We’ll have to put it in for a finishing touch.

_Mrs. B._ (_handing hat to her_). I am certainly thankful that I will
not see that hat in front of me in church any more. Here’s some more
newspapers, Martha, to stuff in at the top.

_Mrs. J._ (_completes task by packing top of box firmly with papers._)

_Mrs. J._ Now thank goodness, that’s done. Dear me, it’s five o’clock
and I must hurry home. I had no idea it was so late.

_Mrs. B._ (_hospitably_). Can’t you stay and have supper with us?

_Mrs. J._ (_rising and pinning on her hat_). O no, thank you just the
same.

_Mrs. B._ (_helping her on with coat_). Well thank you very much for
coming. I’m glad that _one_ member of the society was conscientious
enough to help.

_Mrs. J._ (_drawing on gloves_). O I never shirk my duty. Good-bye
Louisa. Come and see me real soon.

_Mrs. B._ You come and see me. Thank you ever so much for helping me.

_Mrs. J._ Good-bye.

_Mrs. B._ Good-bye, Martha.

_Mrs. B._ (_picking up papers and rearranging room_). I suppose Martha
thought it would have been absolutely impossible for me to have packed
that box by myself. Well, thank goodness it’s done, and Amelia’s box is
done, and I’m about done, too. (_Seats herself wearily._)

(_Enter Mildred, swinging skates in one hand._)

_Mildred._ Well, mother, you look about fagged out. (_goes over to her
mother, and smoothes her forehead_). Is the rummage sale over?

_Mrs. B._ Rummage sale? We were packing the missionary box.

_Mildred._ (_smiling_). I hope the gifts will be appreciated. I wish I
were to get Miss Loomis’ hat, and Mrs. Hodges’ dress, and a few other
adornments.

_Mrs. B._ (_irritably_). Mildred, I am really too tired to stand any
nonsense. I have your Aunt Amelia’s box all ready, and I’ve worried
over that, for I know whatever I send will be criticised.

_Mildred._ (_continuing to smooth her mother’s hair_). Well, I don’t
see how they could possibly find fault with those presents. Dad is
always so liberal about that box, but I know Aunt Amelia always finds
faults with every last thing we send. I should think though she would
be pleased with the waist I embroidered for her, and those lovely
handkerchiefs.

_Mrs. B._ She won’t though.

_Mildred._ It was the limit though for Dad to go shopping on his own
account and buy Gladys a dress pattern that I’d have given my eyes for,
and fur gloves for Uncle and a fur cap for Joe, and an embroidered
dress pattern for Aunt Amelia too. The saleswoman coaxed him into
getting those embroidered dress patterns, all right.

_Mrs. B._ (_irritably_). O your father always has some foolishness
about Amelia loving him because he is her youngest brother. But the
box is packed anyway, and the expressman is to call in the morning the
first thing. I’ve just got to nail the cover on both boxes and mark
them.

_Mildred._ (_eagerly_). O let me do that mother. I’ve been gallivanting
with the girls out skating while you’ve been working, and I feel
ashamed of myself. Let me do that little bit. (_coaxingly_).

_Mrs. B._ (_gratefully_). Thank you, dear. I am tired and my head
aches, so I’ll go rest awhile if you will finish up. Thank you ever so
much, (_rises_). Be careful you don’t spill ink.

_Mildred._ (_reassuringly_). O I’ll be careful all right. You go rest.

(_Exit Mrs. Banks._)

_Mildred._ (_cheerfully_). Now for the amateur carpentry! Who says
a girl can’t drive a nail? (_Hums a tune as she nails the lid upon
first box._) There, Mrs. Missionary! Your valuable donations are
safe. Let us hope that they may not be injured in transit! Now Aunt
Amelia, here’s something to complain about! (_takes up cards_). O poor
mother! She’s forgotten to put the cards on the presents. Well, I
can’t unpack the box again, and I’m not going to worry her by telling
her that she forgot them. Uncle William will know that the sash and
embroidered dresses aren’t for him. (_nails box_). Now for the marking.
Let’s see how artistic I can be! Mrs. William Worthington, Morningside
Apartments, 524 W. 118th Street, New York. (_suddenly_). O I wonder if
that was the right box? (_hesitates_). O I’m sure it was, I couldn’t
make a mistake about anything like that! Now for the other! (_repeats
as she marks_). Mrs. David Brown, Silver Creek, Montana. Now ladies,
for what you are about to receive may you both be truly thankful!


CURTAIN.



SCENE II.


(_Dorothy dusts room, while Mrs. Brown is seated at table mending._)

_Dorothy._ (_mournfully_). Well, mother, it don’t look much like
Christmas with father and Rob away. I suppose you are going to
celebrate by mending, so I’ll get out that old blue waist and see if I
can patch it up to look more respectable. (_Searches in mending basket
and brings out waist ... Holds it up to view._) It’s pretty hopeless
though! (_satirically_). What a merry lively Christmas it will be!

_Mrs. B._ (_cheerfully_). Things might be lots and lots worse,
daughter. Since your father had to be away, I’m glad that Rob could
keep him company, and we’ll have a postponed Christmas when they come
back. Thread this needle for me, please. Your eyes are better than
mine. (_Dorothy threads needle._)

_Dorothy._ (_handing needle to her mother_). A postponed Christmas is
as cheerful as a warmed over pancake! But let’s open the box instead of
waiting for father. He won’t care.

_Mrs. B._ (_hesitatingly_). I had planned to wait till he came back
but there may be something perishable in the box.

_Dorothy._ Perishable! Everything perished long before it reached us!
Wait till I get the hammer and chisel to open it.

(_Exit Dorothy._)

_Mrs. B._ (_sadly_). Poor Dorothy! How I would love to have pretty,
dainty clothes for her and how she would enjoy them.

(_Enter Dorothy with child’s shabby hat on head._)

_Dorothy._ (_smiling_). This is the hat that was sent last year, so do
you wonder I am pessimistic about this year’s box? (_Tosses hat into
corner_). Well, now for the opening, and I’ll be hopeful anyway.

_Mrs. B._ Look out for your fingers!

_Dorothy._ (_cheerfully_). O I’m a fine amateur carpenter! This lid was
nailed on to stay, though! (_Removes lid from box._)

_Dorothy._ (_surprised_). Well, I never! Mother, mother, put down that
old mending and look here! (_Takes mending from her mother._) Did you
ever see such a lovely box!

_Mrs. B._ (_also surprised_). What a beautiful box! Is it really meant
for us?

_Dorothy._ Here’s the label all right. Mrs. David Brown, and that’s
you! Just see the holly! Isn’t it Christmas-y? (_Places sprig of holly
in her hair._)

_Mrs. B._ (_hesitating_). Hadn’t we better wait till your father and
Rob come?

_Dorothy._ (_reproachfully_). Wait? O mother what outrageous cruelty!
Why my fingers just itch to open those packages. There don’t seem to be
any labels, but we can guess at them. You take the first.

_Mrs. B._ (_takes parcel, unwraps and displays white embroidered
waist_). Isn’t that exquisite?

_Dorothy._ (_enthusiastically_). Why, mother, you’ll look as pretty as
a picture in it. Stand up and let’s see how it looks on you. (_Holds up
waist upon her mother._)

_Dorothy._ Mother, you just look sweet. And now for my turn. (_Takes
parcels, unwraps, and holds up dress with flowered sash._)

_Dorothy._ (_excited_). Why mother I never had any thing like this in
my life! It’s the first thing that I’ve ever owned that didn’t look
as if some one had worn it till they were sick of it, first. I wish I
could see it in the glass. Who’s our fairy godmother?

_Mrs. B._ Why the Ladies’ Aid Society of the Meadowbrooke Church. Don’t
you remember that they wrote, saying that they were sending a box?

_Dorothy._ Well, this is surely some box! Now mother, it’s your turn!

_Mrs. B._ (_unwraps sweater_). This must be for Rob! How pleased he
will be! I’ll wrap it up again.

_Dorothy._ That may be Rob’s but I know I’m going to borrow it
sometimes! (_Tries on sweater._)

_Mrs. B._ Now it’s your turn to take a package.

_Dorothy._ It’s just like Aladdin’s lamp. (_takes package_). Now I
wonder what this is? (_Opens box_). O mother what lovely neckwear! It’s
almost too dainty to touch. That pale blue will look so pretty with
your waist. Did I ever see such a box!

_Mrs. B._ (_taking parcel_). I guess I am as excited as you are about
it, Dorothy. (_Opens package_). This scarf must be for your father, and
see, here are gloves to go with it.

_Dorothy._ Then I am going to throw away those gloves which you have
mended and mended till they are nothing but mends. (_Takes gloves from
mending basket and throws them in waste basket._)

_Mrs. B._ (_reprovingly_). It doesn’t take you long to learn to be
extravagant!

_Dorothy._ (_taking large package from box_). I wonder what’s in this
big one. The best way to find out is to open it. (_Opens package
and holds up eiderdown robe._) O mother, won’t this be nice for you,
so warm and comfy! You must try it on right away! (_Slips robe over
mother’s shoulders._)

_Mrs. B._ I’ll enjoy this I know! Now for my turn. (_Opens box of
handkerchiefs._) How dainty and pretty! We’ll divide these, but you
mustn’t lose one!

_Dorothy._ My turn for the fairy gift box. (_Opens parcel._) A fur cap
for Father! _Won’t_ he be pleased! (_Tries cap on._) This looks nicely
on me, but I mustn’t be selfish!

_Mrs. B._ I should hope not, with all the lovely gifts, that you
have! (_Takes prettily decorated package._) Candy! Well, this is for
everybody! I’ll just keep it till father and Rob come back.

_Dorothy._ (_reaching for it_). Perishable goods!

_Mrs. B._ (_firmly_). I know it will be perishable if I put it where
you can get it!

_Dorothy._ (_resigned_). Well, I’ll be patient and wait. Now I’ll put
back father’s and Rob’s presents, and then I’ll take some of this holly
and decorate with it. Dear me! We won’t recognize ourselves!

_Mrs. B._ (_earnestly_). I am going to write at once to the
Meadowbrooke ladies, and tell them what a beautiful Christmas they have
made for us.

_Dorothy._ I take back all I said about a blue Christmas, and while you
write _I’m_ going to try on my new clothes.


CURTAIN.



SCENE III.


(_Gladys stands on a chair endeavoring to festoon a rope of evergreen
over the doorway or window frame._)

_Gladys._ Well, somebody has to get up enough energy for a little bit
of Christmas decorating, with father and Joe both away. Maybe I’ll get
a tumble, but it will be in a good cause.

(_Enter Marie, with tray._)

_Gladys._ O Marie put your tray down and help me fix up this place so
it will look more like Christmas and less like an apartment.

_Marie._ (_politely_). Yes, Miss Gladys, (_aside_). It is a pleasure
to see some cheerfulness. The madame! (_imitating_). Marie, the coffee
is weak, the rolls are cold, the grapefruit is impossible! (_sets down
tray_).

_Gladys._ You hang a wreath in the window, and I’ll fix this rope of
green over the door. (_Marie and Gladys arrange greens._)

_Gladys._ Now that is something like.

_Marie._ Miss Gladys, I will remove the tray, for madam would
disapprove of it remaining here.

_Gladys._ (_stepping down from chair_). Yes, and I might put my foot in
her blue and gold coffee cup, and she would disapprove still more.

(_Exit Marie with tray._)

(_Enter Mrs. Worthington._)

_Mrs. W._ (_languidly_). Good morning, Gladys.

_Gladys._ (_cheerfully_). Good morning, mother. Just in time to open
Aunt Louisa’s Christmas box.

(_Mrs. W. seats herself and takes up bottle of smelling salts._)

_Mrs. W._ (_listlessly_). I really am not interested especially in your
Aunt Louisa’s box. It is past my comprehension why when she is a woman
of such plain, not to say plebeian taste, she and your uncle should
enjoy a comfortable income, when we are obliged to strive so hard to
keep up the appearance which our social position demands.

_Gladys._ (_calling_). Marie! Bring a screwdriver or a nail file or
something and we’ll open the box. Well, mother, maybe Aunt Louisa
economizes more than we do, but my definition is that economy is
spending your money in such a manner that you don’t get any pleasure
out of it.

(_Enter Marie._)

_Gladys._ Thank you, Marie. Now let’s open the box. (_Both try to pry
up lid, and finally are successful._)

_Gladys._ Now mother, brace up, there’s a nice lady, and take some
interest in your pretty gifts.

_Mrs. W._ (_carelessly_). Gladys, I have told you I am too nervous to
take an interest in anything today. (_changing tone_). How shocking!
Why your aunt has stuffed the box with newspapers! Newspapers for
packing Christmas gifts! What execrable ignorance! Marie, take them out
quickly!

_Marie._ (_respectfully_). Yes madam. (_aside_). Madam is not too
nervous to take an interest now.

(_Exit Marie._)

_Gladys._ (_smiling_). O that’s a novelty mother. Holly seals and red
ribbon are monotonous.

_Gladys._ (_taking out parcel, and unwrapping it_). O how charming,
mother! Here is a hat for me to wear on Fifth Avenue! I’ll try it on!

_Mrs. W._ (_paralyzed with indignation_). O what can your aunt Louisa
be thinking of! To insult me in this manner! That hat! How atrocious!
Marie take it out of my sight!

_Marie._ (_respectfully_). Yes madam. (_aside, holding up hat to
audience_). A charming token from the beloved relatives!

(_Exit Marie._)

_Mrs. W._ (_gasping_). Gladys! My smelling salts! It is
incomprehensible! What will your father say!

_Gladys._ (_laughing_). He will say that it is exclusive and that you
won’t find another in New York like it. (_unwraps parcel, and takes out
moth-eaten cape_). This is an evening wrap, which you can wear to the
opera to-morrow evening. (_examining cape_). It looks as if the moth
family and their relatives had been having an informal supper on this
stylish garment.

_Mrs. W._ Gladys how can you laugh? I shall not recover from this shock
for a year!

(_Enter Marie._)

_Mrs. W._ Marie, take that thing and tell the ashman to give it to his
poor relations!

_Marie._ (_respectfully_). Yes madam! (_aside_). Such a charming wrap,
I almost fear to touch it! (_carries it gingerly_).

(_Exit Marie._)

_Gladys._ My dear brother is not forgotten I am glad to see! These ties
will cultivate a love of beauty.

_Mrs. W._ And my poor boy must be insulted too! Terrible, terrible!
(_uses smelling salts_).

(_Enter Marie._)

_Mrs. W._ Marie give these ties to your cousin, the policeman that
comes to call. He can wear them when he is off duty.

_Marie._ Thank you for your kindness, Madam. (_aside_). Alphonse wear
ties like these? Never!

_Gladys._ (_satirically_). Aunt Louisa remembers that you are an
invalid, and has sent this negligee (_hands shabby eiderdown robe to
her mother_).

_Mrs. W._ (_in agitation_). Gladys, how you can laugh at my poor
health, is more than I can comprehend, and why your Aunt Louisa should
have chosen to make me the target of her insults is more than I can
understand. Marie, give it to the rag man.

_Marie._ Yes madam. (_aside_). I fear he would not accept it.

(_Exit Marie._)

_Gladys._ Well, mother, brother and I are some targets too. Here’s a
dress to wear to the Van Schuyler’s tea, and here’s a very nifty suit
for Rob. (_exhibits faded gingham, and patched suit_). The gingham
however is a bit decollette, but it has the fashionable short skirt.

_Mrs. W._ I am mortified beyond expression that Marie should witness
this frightful scene. Marie!

_Gladys._ What makes you subpoena her as a witness then?

(_Enter Marie._)

_Marie._ You called Madam?

_Mrs. W._ (_with dignity_). Marie put these shocking garments where I
shall never see or hear of them again.

_Marie._ Yes, madam.

_Gladys._ (_rummaging in box_). Wait a minute Marie, and save your
steps. Here are a couple more offerings that will need your kind care.
(_unwraps shawl_). Dearest mother, a fleecy shawl for your shoulders,
to shield you from the chill winds. (_attempts to place shawl about her
mother’s shoulders_).

_Mrs. W._ (_screaming_). Gladys! Take it away. How horrible! The thing
isn’t a shawl, it’s a moth-hole!

_Gladys._ (_continuing_). I feared that my dear father was to be
forgotten, but he too is remembered. (_holds up overcoat_). An
overcoat, neat but not gaudy, with a pleasing openwork effect in the
lining.

_Mrs. W._ (_sinks back in chair_). I am overcome. Marie, take these
abominable things away. I shall never recover from this shock, and I
shall never forget this insult. (_dries her eyes_). And I shall write
your Aunt Louisa at once and tell her in unmistakable language, my
opinion of her, in sending to me, to _me_ a box evidently intended for
the almshouse!


CURTAIN.



SCENE IV.


(_As curtain rises, members of Ladies’ Aid Society are seen removing
wraps, the President, Mrs. Jenkins, being in the chair._)

_President._ (_rapping upon table_). Will the meeting please come to
order?

_Miss Loomis._ (_wildly_). Where _is_ my other rubber? They were brand
new last week, and—

_President._ (_rapping again_). Ladies, will you _please_ come to
order? We will open with the minutes of the last meeting, and Miss
Loomis, who acted as secretary pro-tem, will read them.

_Miss Loomis._ (_apologetically_). I didn’t have time to copy them in
the book, but I have them on a piece of paper. (_rummages in bag_). I’m
sure I brought them. Here they are! (_reads_). Take one dozen eggs—Oh,
mercy no, that’s the recipe for angel cake. Wait till I look again.
(_takes crochet pattern from bag_). That’s the pattern for lace that
Brother Tom’s wife gave me. (_Holds it up._) It’s real pretty, isn’t it?

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_eagerly_). Let me see it!

_Miss Loomis._ (_explaining_). You make a double crochet, after you’ve
chained twelve.

_Mrs. Hodges._ Oh, that’s easy! I could pick that out myself.

(_Other members endeavor to examine the crochet pattern._)

_President._ (_with dignity_). Miss Loomis, we are waiting for the
minutes of the meeting.

_Miss Loomis._ (_holding up paper_). O here they are! I’ll read them!

_Miss Loomis._ The regular meeting of the Ladies’ Aid Society was
held on November tenth at the residence of Mrs. Winter, seven members
present, and the President, Mrs. Jenkins, being in the chair. Minutes
of last meeting read and approved. Report of supper committee read and
approved. Proceeds of harvest supper, seven dollars and thirty-five
cents.

_Mrs. Winter._ We charged too much for that supper, or we’d have made
more money.

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_sharply_). I don’t think we charged too much
considering the terrible price of food.

_Mrs. Winter._ (_irritably_). Well, I don’t like to work my feet off
for a measly seven dollars.

_President._ (_rapping_). Ladies, will you please come to order. Miss
Loomis, continue with your report.

_Miss Loomis._ (_nervously_). I lost my place. Let’s see—

_President._ (_to help her_). You were reading about the harvest supper.

_Miss Loomis._ O yes. It was voted to send a box to Mrs. David Brown,
committee to meet at the home of Mrs. Banks, chairlady of the committee.

_Mrs. Banks._ There were only two of the society there.

_Miss Loomis._ I was too busy to come, but I sent a nice hat for the
missionary’s wife.

_Mrs. Banks._ (_aside_). That terrible hat!

_President._ Ladies, I must insist that you come to order.

_Miss Loomis._ (_worried_). Where’s that crochet pattern? I can’t lose
that!

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_handing it to her_). Here you are. I was just counting
the stitches.

_President._ Miss Loomis, if you have finished your report, we will
hear a letter received by Mrs. Hodges, our secretary, from Mrs. Brown.

_Miss Loomis._ Yes, I guess that was all.

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_nervously_). Wait till I find my glasses. (_rummaging
in bag_). Here they are. (_Opens letter._)

“My Dear Friends: Words fail me when I try to express my thanks for the
beautiful box which you sent.—”

_Miss Loomis._ Pleased, wasn’t she?

“My heart is too full to write, as I think of the wonderful kindness
which prompted you to send it.”

_Mrs. Winter._ (_puzzled_). They ain’t usually so thankful.

_President._ Ladies, please come to order, and let us listen to the
letter.

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_continuing_). The beautiful dress for my daughter.
(_aside_). She meant that gingham of Clara’s—Where was I—“The clothing
for myself which seems far too good for a missionary’s wife—”

_Miss Loomis._ Somehow that don’t just fit our box.

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_continuing_). “The gifts for my son and husband are
most thankfully received. Believe me dear friends, I am more than
grateful for your kindness.

                                  “Yours very sincerely,
                                               “RUTH M. BROWN.”

_Mrs. Winter._ Somehow I can’t quite figure that out.

_Mrs. Hodges._ Ours was a nice box, nice enough, but she didn’t have no
call to say quite so much.

_Mrs. Banks._ (_rising_). Ladies, I have here a letter from my
husband’s sister, Mrs. Worthington, which may throw some light upon
Mrs. Brown’s letter. Each Christmas we send a box to Mrs. Worthington,
and I have received this acknowledgment for the gifts which we sent
this year. (_Opens letter._)

“Louisa: I have just supervised the opening of a box, which while
directed to me was evidently destined for the almshouse. In fact,
I doubt whether the inmates of the almshouse would have found the
donations acceptable. Beneath newspapers which formed the packing, I
found an article, which at first appeared to be a abandoned birds’
nest, but which upon closer inspection was evidently intended for a
hat.”

_Miss Loomis._ (_aghast_). My hat! Why I paid five dollars for that
hat eight years ago and it was perfectly good. A bird’s nest! My hat!

_Mrs. Banks._ (_calmly_). May I continue?

“There were a motley collection of ghastly neckties, a tattered
overcoat, a forlorn gingham—”

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_indignantly_). That was a perfectly good dress, only
Clara said she wouldn’t wear it any more!

_Mrs. Banks._ (_continuing_). “And other disreputable apparel. I cannot
understand the insult and assure you that I deem it unwarranted and
unpardonable. I need hardly say that the garments were given to the rag
man.

                                          “Your sister-in-law,
                                                “AMELIA WORTHINGTON.”

_Mrs. Winter._ What an awful letter!

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_shocked_). I’m glad I haven’t relations-in-law like
that!

_Mrs. Banks._ It is evidently clear to you ladies, that the labels upon
the boxes were mixed, and the box for my sister-in-law reached Mrs.
Brown, while the missionary box which we packed was sent by mistake to
Mrs. Worthington.

_Miss Loomis._ (_indignantly_). To say that my hat was a birds’ nest!

_Mrs. Winter._ And disreputable apparel!

_President._ Ladies, will you come to order! I regret of course that
the mistake has been made, for doubtless it places Mrs. Banks in a very
embarrassing position.

_Mrs. Banks._ (_nervously_). Embarrassing is no word for it. She
was so mad, it showed in her handwriting. (_Passes letter round for
inspection._)

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_gently_). Well, there is one good side to it. The
missionary was pleased with her box, and I guess Clara’s dress was
pretty faded.

_Mrs. Winter._ (_apologetically_). And I might have taken time to mend
the overcoat.

_Miss Loomis._ (_firmly_). I make no apologies for my hat!

_President._ I suppose we could have fixed up the box meant for the
missionary with pretty wrappings, like we do other peoples.

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_rising_). Ladies, may I say a few words?

_President._ Mrs. Hodges has the floor.

_Mrs. Hodges._ I think this has been a lesson to us, although it has
probably made a peck of trouble for Mrs. Banks.

_Mrs. Banks._ That’s so!

_Mrs. Hodges._ I think it shows us that our missionary likes pretty
things the same as we do.

_Miss Loomis._ (_interrupting_). That’s why I sent my hat!

_Mrs. Hodges._ (_continuing_). And while I am sorry that it has made
trouble for Mrs. Banks, I can’t help being glad that the missionary got
the nice box, so I would move that hereafter we make our missionary
Christmas boxes as nice as those we send our husband’s relations.

_All._ Second the motion!

_President._ It is moved and seconded that hereafter we make the boxes
we send to our missionaries as good as those which are intended for our
husband’s relations. All in favor say “Aye.”

_All._ (_heartily_). Aye!

_President._ Opposed? It is unanimously carried.


CURTAIN.



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       *       *       *       *       *

Transcriber’s Notes:

Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

Page 5, “but” changed to “put” (I’ll put it beside)

Page 13, stage direction changed to match rest of directions. Original
read:

“_Mrs. W._ (_seats herself and takes up bottle of smelling salts_).”

Page 15, printing issues led to some errors. Original text is below:

    _Gladys._ Well, mother, brother and I are some tar-
    My dear brother is not forgotten I am glad to see! These
    ties will cultivate a love of beauty.

The top line is repeated almost exactly at the bottom of the page:

    (_Enter Marie._)

    _Gladys._ Well, mother, brother and I are some tag-

That is the first part of “target” which is finished on the next page.
Additionally, that “Enter” should be an “Exit.” The text has been
edited to reflect these changes.

Page 16, “(aside)” changed to “(_aside_)” to match rest of usage. (Yes
madam. (_aside_). Madam)

Page 20, “Mrs. Hodges” made italic to match rest of play. (_Mrs.
Hodges._ (_nervously_). Wait till I find my)





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