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Title: Snowbound for Christmas
Author: MacKenzie, Edna I.
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

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[Transcriber's Note: Bold text is surrounded by =equal signs= and italic
text is surrounded by _underscores_.]



Snowbound for Christmas

    MACKENZIE


    PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY
    DAYTON, OHIO



MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENTS

These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is
easy and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like
them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price, 35 cents each.


=HERE’S TO THE LAND OF THE STARS AND THE STRIPES.= (Bugbee-Worrell.) A
patriotic song which every child should know and love. The sentiment
is elevating. The music is martial and inspiring. May be effectively
sung by the entire school. Suitable for any occasion and may be sung by
children or grown-ups. Be the first to use this song in your community.

=I’LL NEVER PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN.= (Guptill-Weaver.) A Quarrel between a
small boy and girl. The words are defiant and pert. The boy and his dog
have been in mischief, and the small maiden poutingly declares that she
will never play with him again, but changes her mind in the last verse.
A taking little duet for any occasion, with full directions for motions.

=JOLLY FARMER LADS AND LASSIES.= (Irish-Lyman.) A decidedly humorous
action song prepared especially for district schools. It will make a
hit wherever produced.

=JOLLY PICKANINNIES.= (Worrell.) Introduce this coon song into your
next entertainment. If you use the directions for the motions which
accompany the music, the pickaninnies will bring down the house. Their
black faces and shining eyes will guarantee a “hit.” The words are
great and the music just right.

=LULLABY LANE.= (Worrell.) This song is one which the children, once
having learned, will never forget. The words have the charm of the
verses written by Robert Louis Stevenson. The music is equally sweet
and is perfectly suited to the beautiful words. It may be sung as a
solo by a little girl with a chorus of other little girls with dolls,
or as a closing song by the whole school.

=MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE BUT THEE.= (Worrell.) Here is a song that will
arouse patriotism in the heart of every one who hears it. The music is
so catchy that the children and grown-ups, too, just can’t resist it.
It makes a capital marching song.

=NOW, AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU CAME?= (Guptill-Weaver.) This is a closing
song which is quite out of the ordinary. There is humor in every line.
The music is lively. Your audience will not soon forget this spicy song
for it will get many an unexpected laugh. The motions which accompany
this song make it doubly effective. For any occasion and for any number
of children.

=WE ARE CREEPY LITTLE SCARECROWS.= (Guptill-Weaver.) A weird,
fascinating action song. You can’t go wrong with this song. There are
four verses and chorus. Complete directions accompany this song so that
it may be featured as a song and drill, if desired. For any occasion
and for any number of children.

=WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN.= (Worrell.) This song will bring
memories to the listeners of their own bashful school days. They will
recall just how “scared” they were when asked to sing or play or speak.
The words are unusually clever. The music is decidedly melodious. It
makes a capital welcome song or it may be sung at any time on any
program with assured success.

=WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG.= (Worrell.) A welcome song
that will at once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create
a happy impression that will mean half the success of your entire
program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy. A sure hit for
your entertainment.

=WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.= (Worrell.) This beautiful song has
snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just
the song to send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion.


    Paine Publishing Company      Dayton, Ohio



    Snowbound for
    Christmas


    BY
    EDNA I. MACKENZIE


    PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY
    DAYTON, OHIO



CHARACTERS


    MA SIMPSON.
    PA SIMPSON.
    MINERVA, Oldest Daughter.
    SAM, Oldest Son.
    BILL    }The In Between’s.
    JENNIE, }
    BOBBY  }
    BETTY, }Twins


COSTUMES

_Act I_

DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS

    PA SIMPSON, Overalls and Work Shirt.
    MA SIMPSON, Gingham Dress and Apron.
    MINERVA, Red Waist and Blue Skirt.
    SAM  }
    BILL,} Overalls.
    BOBBY, Torn Blouse and Good Trousers.
    JENNIE, Old Dress.
    BETTY, Old Dress.


_Act II_

CHRISTMAS MORNING

    Girls in Flannelette Night Dresses and Bed-Room Slippers.
    Boys in Pajamas.
    Pa in Bathrobe and Ma in Wrapper.

    Time of Playing—About Twenty-five Minutes.


    Copyright, 1921, by Paine Publishing Company



Snowbound for Christmas



_Act I_

_Scene._—_A living room in the Simpson farmhouse. Toys, books, etc.,
are strewn around untidily. Children play with these when not talking.
Doors Left and Right._

_The curtain rises on Ma Simpson knitting by table in Centre, and Pa
Simpson reading the newspaper._

_Enter Sam, covered with snow_

SAM—It’s still snowin’, Ma.

MA (_not looking up_)—Yes, Sam.

SAM—It’s been snowin’ for three days, Ma.

MA—Yes, Sam.

SAM—And tomorrow’s Christmas, Ma.

MA—Yes, Sam.

PA (_throws down paper_)—Do you suppose we don’t know that it’s
snowing, and that it’s been snowing for three days and tomorrow’s
Christmas. Can’t you tell us something new?

SAM—But, Pa, how are we going to get to town to buy our Christmas
presents and things?

PA (_gruffly_)—We can’t go and that’s all about it. The horses couldn’t
plow half a rod through these snowdrifts.

SAM—But whatever are we going to do for Christmas?

MA (_shaking her head_)—I guess we will have to do without Christmas
this year.

_Minerva enters_

MINERVA—Do without Christmas! Oh, Ma!

MA (_brushing away tears_)—I’m sorry Minerva, but with the twins down
with the grippe last week and it snowing so hard this week we couldn’t
get to town and—and (_puts apron to eye_). I feel every bit as bad
as you youngsters. I’ve always prided myself on giving you a happy
Christmas, and to think that I haven’t a thing ready this year. Oh, you
poor, poor children (_cries_).

PA—Now, see what you’ve done. Run away children and stop pesterin’ your
Ma.

MINERVA (_kissing Ma_)—Never mind, Ma. We know it couldn’t be helped.
We can do one year without Christmas, can’t we, Sam?

SAM (_patting Ma awkwardly_)—Of course. Don’t you worry about us kids,
Ma. We’ll get along.

MA—Bless your dear, kind hearts. But the little ones, the twins, how
can I tell them that Santa can’t come this year?

PA—Those kids have got enough toys as it is to last them a life time.
Look at this room. You’d think a hurricane had struck it.

MA—I know, I know. But they’ve been stuck in the house so long that
they’re bound to get their play things around. It’s not the toys they
need, but to tell them Santa won’t be here. Oh, I can’t! I can’t!

MINERVA—Perhaps, Ma, we older ones could make them some presents. I
could make a dandy nigger doll out of a bottle and a black stocking.
Sara Martin showed me how to do it.

SAM—-I’ll go and get my tools right away and make a cradle for the doll.

MINERVA—And I’ll give Jennie that ring that’s got too small for me.

SAM—I’ll paint my old sled over for Bobby and give Bill my hockey stick.

PA—That’s the idea! You kids have got good heads on you.

SAM—Come on, Minerva, let’s get busy.

_Exit Minerva and Sam_

MA—The dear children! There’s not a woman living has better children
than we have.

PA (_blowing nose_)—You’re right there. I guess they take after their
ma.

MA—How you do talk! And to think that my own children have to teach
their ma a lesson. Here am I moping away because I hadn’t anything
ready when I should be hunting up and planning for them. What a silly
old goose I’m getting to be (_jumps up_). I’ll—

PA—Now, Ma, don’t go and call yourself names. You’re simply tired out
working yourself to death for these youngsters and—

MA—There’s that old Persian Lamb coat I got before I was married. I’ll
make muffs and capes out of it for Jennie and Betty. It’s moth-eaten in
spots, but there’s plenty good fur left and Minerva can help me make
them. And—and—for Minerva I’ll (_rubs head_) oh, I know, I’ll make
Minerva a party dress out of my white silk wedding dress. I ain’t never
worn it much, and it’s almost as good as new.

PA—Not your wedding dress! You ain’t goin’ to cut that up!

MA—Why ain’t I? Laws-a-me, I can’t wear it anymore. It wouldn’t come
within five inches of meeting round the waist, and it’s too old
fashioned for Minerva to wear the way it is.

PA—But your wedding dress, the dress you wore when we two was made
one, and you lookin’ like an angel straight out of heaven in it. Oh, I
couldn’t bear to see that cut up.

MA—Now, Pa, don’t you go and talk nonsense. I didn’t know you had that
much sentiment in you. To tell the truth I hate to have it cut up
myself, but when it comes to making that dear child happy I’d give her
my head on a charger if it would do her any good.

PA—Who’s talkin’ nonsense now? Well, since you’ve got the girls fixed
up I guess I’ll have to think up something for the boys. Blest if I
know what I can give them (_scratches head_).

MA—It’s awful hard planning for boys. They ain’t so easy pleased as
girls with fixed over things. They’re more for animals and such like.

PA—There you’ve got it, Ma! I’ll give Sam that little black colt
all for his own. He’s just crazy about it and Bill—let’s see—what
can I give—Oh yes, there’s that Jersey heifer that’s goin’ to be a
sure-enough winner some day—I’ll give him that. Then there’s Bobby,
what in the dickens can I give that tyke. He’s too young—

MA (_at door_)—Hush, I hear him coming.

    _Bobby rushes in_

BOBBY—Oh, Ma, what do you think! I found a dozen eggs hid away in the
hay-mow.

MA—Why Bobby, whatever are you doing with your Sunday trousers on?

PA—How’d you happen to find the eggs?

BOBBY—I was jumpin’ off the beam into the hay and I landed right on top
of them. Didn’t know they was there. Gee, there was some spill. I guess
them eggs was layed last summer, they smelt like it (_pause_). That’s
why I got my Sunday trousers on, Ma.

MA—Well, run along now and see that you don’t get any more eggs for if
you spoil them trousers you go to bed. You ain’t got any others.

BOBBY—All right, Ma. I only wished we had a swing in the barn like Pete
Miller’s. Yuh kin go clean to the roof in it. It beats jumpin’ in the
hay all holler (_runs out_).

PA—The very thing! I’ll put a swing up in the barn for Bobby. I’ll give
him a big bag of butternuts to crack to keep him out of the way ’till I
git it up.

MA—And I’ll get Minerva to make taffy to put the nuts in (_exit Pa and
Ma_).

    _Enter Minerva with bottle and stocking, Sam with chest of
    tools and boards_

MINERVA—I’m so glad I thought of this. It will be different from any
doll she’s ever had (_puts stocking on bottle_). I’ll sew on beads for
eyes with white paper pasted on for whites and red for a mouth and—

SAM (_sawing wood_)—This will be some cradle when I get done, you bet
your life.

MINERVA (_severely_)—It’s sure awful, the slang you use. You should cut
it out.

SAM (_jeeringly_)—I should cut it out, eh! Cut it out isn’t slang! Oh
my stars! (_turns handspring_). Say, Sis, don’t you know that people
in stone houses shouldn’t throw glass?

MINERVA—No, I don’t, and if I were you I wouldn’t start quoting until I
could get it right.

BOBBY (_outside_)—I did hear Santa’s reindeer. I know I did.

MINERVA (_jumping up_)—Here’s the twins. Hide your stuff quick
(_scramble_).

    _Enter Bobby and Betty_

_Betty has black sticking-plaster over front teeth to hide them._

BETTY—Aw, you didn’t (_runs to Minerva_). Thanta only cometh at night,
don’t ee, Nerva?

MINERVA (_lifting her on her knee_)—Yes, dear, when you’re fast asleep
in—

BOBBY—But I did hear him, I heard the bells jingle in the roof.

MINERVA—Perhaps he’s around seeing if you’re good children and don’t
quarrel. You know he doesn’t give presents to bad children.

BETTY—Uths hathn’t fighted for two days. Uths been awful good, hathn’t
uth, Bobby?

BOBBY—Yep, but if Christmas doesn’t hurry up and come I’ll bust, I know
I will.

    _Enter Bill and Jennie_

BILL—Sam, what do you know, Pa says we can’t get into town. How are we
going to buy—

SAM (_shakes hand in warning behind twin’s backs_)—See here Bill, I—I—

BILL—Say, what’s the matter with you, Sam? Have you got the palsy?

SAM (_pulling him to front_)—No, but I wish you had. Ain’t you got any
sense? Do you want the kids to quit believin’ in Santa?

BILL—No, but how—

JENNIE (_to Minerva_)—Ain’t we goin’ to get any Christmas presents,
Nervy?

MINERVA—Of course we are, dear.

JENNIE—But where are we going to get them?

BETTY—From Thanta, of courth. Where elth could you get them?

MINERVA—Of course. He’s never failed us yet and I guess he isn’t going
to this Christmas either. Twinnies, have you all the pop-corn strings
made for the tree?

BOBBY—No, let’s go to the kitchen and finish them, Betty (_exit twins_).

JENNY—But Nervy, where are we goin’ to git them?

BILL—Yes, where? Pa and Ma never got to town and—

MINERVA—By making them for each other.

BILL and JENNIE—By making them!

SAM—Yes, why not? (_gets tools, etc._). Sis and I are making our
presents.

BILL—What are you makin’?

SAM—Wouldn’t you like to know, now?

JENNIE—But, Nervy, made things won’t be real Christmas presents
(_cries_). And I wanted a book, and a pencil box and a ring and—and—a
muff and—and—

MINERVA (_fiercely_)—Now see here, Jennie. You stop crying this
minute, Ma’s feeling dreadful bad as it is because she can’t give us a
real-to-goodness Christmas without store presents—

BILL (_shaking her_)—Aw, shut up, Jennie. I guess one Christmas
without regular presents won’t kill us. And there will be heaps of fun
makin’ them and keepin’ secrets and things. I bet I kin make Bobby the
dandiest top you ever saw.

JENNIE (_brightening_)—And I’ll make a picture book for Betty.

MINERVA—You’re talking now. They’ll be tickled to pieces with them.

MA (_outside_)—Minerva, where are you?

PA (_outside_)—Sam, come here a minute.

MINERVA—There’s Ma calling me! (_exit_).

SAM—There’s Pa calling me! (_exit_).

JENNIE—Say, Bill, I’ve got something thought out for Nervy too.

BILL—What?

JENNIE—Well, you know that piece of green silk Aunt Mary gave me for a
doll’s dress? I’m going to make a bag for Nervy to carry her crochet in
and put featherstitching on it with the purple sil—silk—silklene I’ve
got.

BILL—Aw shucks, you haven’t time.

JENNIE—I have, too, it just takes a few minutes. Boys don’t know
nothin’ about sewin’.

BILL—Aw, sewin’. Hockey beats that all to pieces. What kin I give
Sam? (_picks up magazine_). Oh, I know, I’ll cut up the ads in
our old magazine and glue them on pasteboard. They’ll make swell
picture-puzzles.

JENNIE—Oh goody! I just love picture-puzzles.

BILL—I ain’t makin’ them for you, they’re for Sam, I told you.

JENNIE—Well, he’ll let me play with them. He ain’t stingy like some
people I know.

BILL—Hush, here’s Sam now.

    _Enter Sam and Minerva_

MINERVA—Sam and I have thought of presents for everybody but Ma and Pa.
What can we give them, I wonder.

SAM—Have you kids anything for them?

BILL and JENNIE—No.

JENNIE—What can we give them?

MINERVA—I don’t know. There isn’t time to make much and I’ve promised
to help her make the f— (_puts hand on mouth_).

JENNIE—Make what?

MINERVA—Make some taffy. Bobby’s cracking nuts for it.

BILL (_turning somersault_)—Oh, I’ve got an idea.

ALL—What is it?

BILL—I know what’ll please them more’n anything.

JENNIE—For goodness sake, Bill, get up and tell us. Don’t keep us in
suspenders.

BILL—Well, I read a story once where a lot of kids instead of givin’
their pa and ma presents, wrote notes promisin’ to do the chores and
things they hated most for a whole year without bein’ told and—

MINERVA—Oh, that’s a splendid idea!

SAM—It is if we can stick to it.

JENNIE—I don’t believe none of us could—not for a whole year.

MINERVA—We can if we love them enough to really try. Will you do it?

SAM—All right, I’m game.

BILL—So am I.

JENNIE—I’ll—has it got to be what you hate the very worst?

BILL—Of course, it ain’t no good to promise something easy. Anyone
could do that.

MINERVA—And it will show whether you love them enough to sac-to
sacer-sacerfice ourselves for them.

JENNIE—I, guess I can do it. Anyway I’ll try awful hard.

MINERVA—I know you will, Jennie. I’ll go and call the twins.

SAM—Do you think we had better let them in on it.

MINERVA—Why, of course, Pa and Ma would be so pleased.

BILL—That settles it. (_calls_) Bobby! Betty! Jennie, hunt up some
paper and pencils.

    _Enter Twins_

TWINS—What do you want?

JENNIE—We’re talking about the Christmas present we’re going to give Ma
and Pa and—

BETTY—Why, ithn’t Thanta goin’ to give them any prethents?

MINERVA—No, dear, Santa just brings presents to children. Would you
like to do something that will please Pa and Ma very much?

BETTY—Yeth, tell uth what it ith.

MINERVA—We are all going to promise to do something we hate doing for a
whole year without being told.

BOBBY—That ain’t no present.

SAM—Oh, yes, it is the very best kind.

BOBBY—But you can’t put a pwomise on a Christmas tree.

BILL—We put notes on instead. Will you do it?

BOBBY—I guess so. I like doin’ everything I have to, so it won’t be
hard for me to pwomise.

JENNIE—Oh, you little lilac. What a fib.

BOBBY—It ain’t then.

JENNIE—It is too. I could tell you half a dozen things you make a fuss
about. Here’s paper and pencils (_distributes them_).

MINERVA—Now let’s get around the table and write our notes. I’ll write
yours for you Betty.

BETTY—No. I’ll wite it mythelf.

JENNIE—You can’t write nothin’ anyone could read.

BETTY—I can print then, ith’s eathier to read.

BOBBY—So can I. You can spell the hard words for me, Sam.

MINERVA—You didn’t give me a pencil, Jennie.

JENNIE—There wasn’t enough to go around. Bill, see if you have one in
your pocket.

BILL—All right (_empties pocket full of truck, brings out dead mouse
and pencil at last. Girls scream. Minerva jumps on chair_).

MINERVA—Oh Bill, you nasty boy.

BILL (_laughs_)—Girls are the beatenest. Afraid of a dead mouse! (_puts
things back in pocket_).

SAM—Let’s get down to business. We haven’t any time to waste.

MINERVA—I don’t know which I hate doing worse, washing dishes or
dusting (_bites pencil_).

JENNIE—I wouldn’t bite that pencil if I was you. It’s been rubbin’ up
against that dead mouse.

MINERVA (_slipping it down_)—Ugh! I’ll not touch it. I’ll use yours
when you’re through.

BOBBY—I wish you’d keep quiet so that I could think up something to
pwomise. I don’t know nothin’ I hate doin’.

JENNIE—Oh, Bobby, look at your ears, they’re—

BOBBY—I can’t. My eyes ain’t in the back of my head.

JENNIE—You didn’t wash behind them this morning.

BOBBY (_jumping around_)—I know, I know, I’ll pwomise to—

SAM—Let’s not tell each other what we’re goin’ to promise. There’ll be
more fun reading the notes tomorrow.

BETTY—Notes don’t make much thow on a Chwismas tree.

JENNIE (_claps hands_)—I’ve got it! I’ve got it! I’ve got it!

BILL—What, a lunatic germ?

JENNIE—Let’s put a simpleton of what we’re going to promise on the tree.

BILL—A simpleton, what’ that?

JENNIE—Why a sign, of course. You see if Nervy hates dusting, she can
put a dust rag on the tree and make Pa and Ma guess what it stands for.

MINERVA—Symbol! That’s what she means (_laughs_). A simpleton! Oh,
Jennie, that’s what you are.

JENNIE—I ain’t then. They’re the same thing.

MINERVA—The same thing, oh—

SAM (_excitedly_)—By gimminy, Jen, that’s the bulliest stunt yet.

BILL—Oh, boys, it will make the jolliest fun we’ve ever gotten out of a
tree in all our lives. Let’s do it.

ALL—Yes, yes, let’s do it.

_Curtain goes down on children writing in various positions, Bobby wags
tongue, Betty wiggles whole body, etc._



_Act II_

_Scene._—_The Simpson living-room, tidied table pushed back and
Christmas tree decorated with home-made trimmings and presents tied in
various ludicrous parcels._

    _Enter Minerva carrying dishpan with note attached._

MINERVA—I go first because I’m the oldest.

JENNIE (_outside_)—That ain’t no fair.

MINERVA (_finger to lips_)—Hush, you don’t want to wake Ma. She didn’t
come to bed until near morning (_puts dishpan under tree_). There,
that’s a promise it’ll be mighty hard to keep for if there’s anything
under the sun I hate doing it’s washing dishes. Three times a day and
there’s 365 days in the year, that washes, let me see—three times five
is fifteen, three times six is eighteen, and one to carry is nineteen,
and three times three is nine and one’s ten. Good gracious, over a
thousand times a year and eight in the family means eight plates, eight
cups, eight—a million dishes! Oh dear, I wish our family was smaller.

    _Enter Sam with armful of wood_

SAM—It takes a good sight longer for you to put a dishpan down than
for me to drop this wood (_slams it down_). There’s the first load
delivered on the contract. Gee, I wish there was a gaswell on our farm.
Perhaps I could persuade Ma to use a coal-oil stove.

    _Enter Jennie with music roll_

JENNIE—Oh dear, how I hate practising, but Ma says she’s bound she’ll
make a musicale out of me. Her chance is better now than it ever was
before (_puts it on tree_).

SAM—Aw, Jen, why didn’t you choose something quiet? Do you want
to drive us all insane listening to you running up and down those
everlasting scales?

JENNIE—It’s your own fault. You said we had to promise what we hate
doin’ most and I’m sure—

MINERVA—I must get the twins up.

    _Enter Bill with book-bag_

BILL—I had an awful hunt for this bag. Well, I know one person who’ll
be mighty glad I made this promise.

SAM and JENNIE—Who?

BILL—The school-marm. And the strap will be gitten’ a rest, too, I’m
thinkin’. Gee, when I grow up and git in for president I’m goin’ to
have every school-marm in the States put in jail who gives homework
(_puts bag down_).

    _Enter Bobby carrying large bar of soap and Betty with an
    alarm clock_

BOBBY—You’ll not say I didn’t wash behind my ears again, Jennie. I’m
goin’ to wash them every mornin’ the water isn’t froze in the pitcher.

BETTY—And you can’t call me theepy-head neither cos I’m goin’ to get up
first time I’m called every mornin’ ’cept Saturday (_Minerva fastens
clock on tree. Alarm goes off_).

MINERVA—There, that will waken Pa and Ma.

BOBBY—Oh, oh, oh, look at all them presents. Let me see what are mine
(_goes to tree and examines parcels_).

SAM (_drags him away_)—Here, Bobby, no peekin’ ’til Pa and Ma come.

    _Enter Pa and Ma_

PA—Laws-a-me, children, what are you doin’ out of bed and—

MA—And in your nighties, too. You’ll catch your death of cold.

PA—Yes, and wakin’—well, I swan, what are you doin’ with a woodpile
under the tree?

MA—And a dishpan and book-bag and and—

ALL—They’re your Christmas presents!

PA and MA—Our Christmas presents!

SAM (_putting note in Pa’s hand_)—Read and see.

PA (_reads_)—“I promise to fill up the wood box every morning before
school. Your lovin’ son, Sam.” Well now if that ain’t an original
Christmas-box and a mighty good one, too.

MINERVA—Here’s mine, Ma (_hands the note_).

MA (_reads_)—

    “Dear Ma, you need not ever fear
       That the dishes won’t be done.
     For I’ll wash them throughout the year
       And make believe it’s fun.”

You dear child, give me a kiss. And to think you hate doin’ dishes so.
This is what I call a noble sacrifice.

MINERVA—Oh Ma, I’m so glad.

BILL (_gives book-bag and note to Pa_)—See what a smart boy I’m goin’
to turn into!

PA (_reads_)—“To MA and PA. I bet you won’t believe me, but I’m goin’
to get my homework up every night ’cept Friday as good as I can.—Bill.”
That’s the way to talk, BILL. We’ll all be proud of you some day.

JENNIE—Read mine, Ma, read mine.

MA (_reads_)—“To whom it may conserve. I, Jennie Simpson, do promise to
practice my music lessons faithlessly and preservingly every time Ma
says I must. I hope she’ll be mercyfill.”

MA—I will, Jennie, I promise. Bless your dear heart.

BOBBY (_takes his off tree_)—Here’s mine! Here’s mine! (_gives it to
Pa_).

PA—Bless my soul! A cake of soap! (_reads_) “I’ll always keep behind my
ears clean where it shows.—Bobby.”

BETTY—And mine, and mine (_gives to Ma_).

MA—Is that what I heard? (_reads_) I—I—Oh, I haven’t my glasses. You
read it, BETTY.

BETTY—“I pwomith to git up when I’m called if I’m not too theepy” (_all
laugh_).

BOBBY—That ain’t no pwomise.

PA—Yes it is. And now children, you’ve made your Ma and me happier than
we’ve ever been in our lives.

MA—Indeed you have. This shows us how much you love us better’n the
costliest gifts in the world could have done.

BOBBY—Can’t we get our presents, now?

ALL—Yes, yes (_every one scrambles for presents at once and open them
before audience, exclaiming together_).

MINERVA—A dress, a lovely party dress. Oh! Oh!

JENNIE and BETTY—Oh the lovely furs (_puts them on_).

BILL—A hockey-stick. Ain’t it great!

BOBBY—Look at my sled.

PA—Now, boys as soon as you get dressed we’ll go out to the barn and
I’ll show you some presents I’ve got for you.

BOYS—Oh, goody, goody (_Bill and Bobby start for door_).

SAM—Hold on kids, before we go, let’s give three cheers for the best
Christmas we’ve ever had in all our lives.

ALL—Hip, hip, hurrah! Hip, hip, hurrah!

    CURTAIN



PLAYS, MONOLOGS, Etc.


=AS OUR WASHWOMAN SEES IT.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 10 minutes. Nora
is seen at the washboard at the home of Mrs. McNeal, where, amidst her
work, she engages in a line of gossip concerning her patrons, that will
make a hit with any audience. 25 cents.

=ASK OUIJA.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 8 minutes. A present-day girl
illustrates to her friends the wonders of the Ouija board. Her comments
on the mysteries of this present-day fad as she consults Ouija will
delight any audience. 25 cents.

=COONTOWN TROUBLES.= (Bugbee-Berg.) A lively black-face song given by
Josephus Johnsing, Uncle Rastus and other Coontown folks. 35 cents.

=THE GREAT CHICKEN STEALING CASE OF EBENEZER COUNTY.= (Walter
Richardson.) A negro mock trial for 9 males, 2 females and jurors.
Time, 35 minutes. Any ordinary room easily arranged. From start to
finish this trial is ludicrous to the extreme and will bring roars of
laughter from the audience. 25 cents.

=THE GREAT WHISKEY-STEALING CASE OF RUMBOLD VS. RYEBOLD.= (Walter
Richardson.) A mock trial for 11 males and jury. The fun increases as
the trial proceeds, and reaches a climax when the jury decides who
stole the whiskey. 25 cents.

=HERE’S TO THE LAND OF THE STARS AND THE STRIPES.= (Bugbee-Worrell.)
Open your minstrel with this rousing patriotic song. Sheet music. 35
cents.

=THE KINK IN KIZZIE’S WEDDING.= (Mary Bonham.) Time, 20 minutes. For 7
males and 5 females. A colored wedding that will convulse any audience
with laughter. Said to be the funniest mock wedding ever produced. 25
cents.

=SHE SAYS SHE STUDIES.= A monologue. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) A sentimental
high-school girl seated with her books preparing the next day’s
lessons, in a highly original and entertaining manner, expresses her
views on the merits of her various studies and her unbiased opinion of
her teachers, as she proceeds from book to book in the order of her
recitation; but when she has finished, you will agree that she is very
much more of an entertainer than a student. 25 cents.

=SUSAN GETS READY FOR CHURCH.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 10 minutes.
It is time for church and Susan, at her toilet, is excitedly calling
for missing articles and her rapid line of gossip about her friends and
of certain church activities will bring many a laugh. 25 cents.

=THAT AWFUL LETTER.= A comedy of unusual merit, in one act. (Edna I.
MacKenzie.) For five girls. Time, 30 minutes. Recommended for high
schools, societies and churches. Elizabeth Norton, an accomplished
college girl from the country, has been reluctantly and rudely invited
to visit a city cousin, Margaret Neilson, whom she has never seen.
Finding she is expected to be gawky and uneducated, Elizabeth acts the
part perfectly. Developments follow thick and fast amid flashes of wit,
humor and satire from Elizabeth, who at last reveals her real self.
Margaret’s humiliation is complete and there is a happy ending. All the
characters are good. The country cousin is a star. 25 cents.

=THE UNEXPECTED GUEST.= A one-act comedy. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Six
females. Time, 45 minutes. The unexpected arrival of an eccentric aunt
throws a family into a state of excitement and dismay, but before the
play is over the unwelcome aunt has endeared herself to her relatives
in quite an unexpected manner. Funny situations throughout. 25 cents.


    Paine Publishing Company      Dayton, Ohio



CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENTS


=CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER.= (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) One of the most
popular Christmas plays published, that abounds in clean, wholesome
fun from beginning to end. It depicts the trials of the teacher of an
old-fashioned “deestric school” in conducting the last rehearsal for
the Christmas Entertainment. Children and grown-ups will be delighted
with CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. 25c.

=CHRISTMAS AT McCARTHY’S.= (Elisabeth F. Guptill.) A Christmas play for
young folks and children that is brimful of fun from start to close and
is interspersed with the gentlest pathos. All the characters are good.
Easy to produce. No special scenery or costumes. No Santa Claus. Can be
played in any schoolroom. 25c.

=CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN’ AT SKAGGS’S SKULE.= (Marie Irish.) Just published.
Humorous entertainment for six boys and eight girls, including Ole, the
Swede; Rastus, the negro; bashful Bill; Jeremiah Judkins, the skule
clerk; Mis’ Skaggs and Mis’ Hill, the mothers who “help out;” fat
little sister; Matildy and Florildy, the twins; Sam who st-t-tut-ters;
Tiny, and Miss Emmeline Elkins, the teacher. The speech by the skule
clerk and the fake Santy Claus are features. 25c.

=CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES.= (Cecil J. Richmond.) Every dialogue in this
book is decidedly to the point and easy to prepare. They will delight
both young and old. The book contains the following: Is There a Santa
Clause? (2 small children, Santa Claus and chorus); Herbert’s Discovery
(2 boys); The Christmas Dinner (2 little girls, 1 larger girl, and
2 boys); Playing Santa Claus (1 small and 2 larger boys); A Double
Christmas Gift (2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 boys). Many
customers have told us that the last named dialogue Is worth the price
of the book. 25 cents.

=EVERGREEN AND HOLLY—SONG AND DRILL.= (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) A drill
for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The girls carry
garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the same. After a
spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beautiful Christmas
song, which accompanies the drill. Easy to produce and decidedly novel.
25 cents.

=GOOD-BYE, CHRISTMAS GROUCHES.= (Irish-Lyman.) A jolly Christmas song
for any number of boys and girls. It abounds with Christmas cheer and
many pleasant surprises. Full of action. Sheet music. This popular song
will put “pep” in your Christmas entertainment and will furnish your
audience a rare treat. 35 cents.

=POINSETTIA DRILL.= (Marie Irish.) A drill for 12 or more girls
carrying poinsettias. Given to the music of a lively march,
interspersed with verses to the tune of the song. “Comin’ Through the
Rye.” Several diagrams make clear the following of the directions. One
of the most beautiful Christmas drills published. 25 cents.

=SANTA CLAUS IS COMING.= (Irish-Garster.) Song for little folks. Easy
words and simple action. A pleasing little song that the children will
enjoy giving and others will enjoy hearing, because of its merry humor.
Sheet music. 35 cents.

=STARS OF BETHLEHEM.= (Irish-Leyman.) A beautiful song of the Christ
Child for either solo or chorus. The music is sweet and perfectly
suited to the beautiful words. A delightful number for children or
adults. Sheet music. 35 cents.

=SNOWBOUND FOR CHRISTMAS.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) For 4 boys and 4 girls.
Time, 25 minutes. The roads being blocked by a recent snowstorm,
the Simpson family has not been able to get to town to do their
Christmas shopping. After considerable lamenting by the children over
their disappointment, Ma Simpson, Pa Simpson, and the older children
determine upon home-made presents, which results in a most pleasant
surprise. 25 cents.

=TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS, A.= (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) A decidedly
humorous Christmas play for any number of children from six to twelve
years old. The children are tired of “minding” and of everything
being “just so,” so they start to find a place where things will be
different. There is a pleasing surprise for the audience at every turn
of the play. 25 cents.


    Paine Publishing Company      Dayton, Ohio





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