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Title: Adventures of the Teenie Weenies
Author: Donahey, William
Language: English
As this book started as an ASCII text book there are no pictures available.
Copyright Status: Not copyrighted in the United States. If you live elsewhere check the laws of your country before downloading this ebook. See comments about copyright issues at end of book.

*** Start of this Doctrine Publishing Corporation Digital Book "Adventures of the Teenie Weenies" ***

book. Barry Abrahamsen, and the Online Distributed


                                 of the

                             TEENIE WEENIES


                              WM. DONAHEY


                [‡Illustration: This Book Belongs to...]


                     [‡Illustration: Frontispiece]



                                 of the

                             TEENIE WEENIES

                            WILLIAM DONAHEY

                      [‡Illustration: Decoration]

                             Illustrated by
                               THE AUTHOR

                          The Reilly & Lee Co.


                            Copyright, 1920


                          The Reilly & Lee Co.

                          All Rights Reserved
                             Made in U.S.A.


                I could easily sing praises to the tune
                of ten thousand words in my dedication
                of this book, but it is quite customary
                to make it crisp and neat, so I will
                briefly state that

                         This book is dedicated
                         MARY DICKERSON DONAHEY
                      My literary rival and better


                           THE TEENIE WEENIES

                   Who they are and where they live.

The Teenie Weenies are a very tiny little people. The Teenie Weenie
children are about half an inch in height and the older Teenie Weenies
are from two and a half to three inches tall. Paddy Pinn is the tallest
one and he really is a Teenie Weenie giant, for he stands four inches in
his stocking feet.

The little folks are so small that a lead pencil is to them a great log
and a clothes pin will keep the tiny fire place burning for some time. A
large tea cup would almost hold the entire family and they could go
swimming all at once in a wash basin.

A potato will keep the Teenie Weenies supplied for several months, while
one grain of rice will make one of the little people a square meal. Two
baked lima beans will make a meal for the whole family and a thimbleful
of butter will last a week.

The Teenie Weenies are so small that big people would hardly notice them
and the little folks have to be careful to keep out of their way.

The Teenie Weenies live in an old shoe. They have built on a kitchen and
a roof covers the top of the shoe. An old hat is used by the little
people for a school house and quarters for the army. On top of the hat
is a tiny bell which is used for a school bell and also as a fire alarm.
On the second floor of the hat the army keeps its uniforms and guns and
here the little soldiers drill one night every week.

The Teenie Weenies have many tiny tools and they store all these useful
things in an old tin can. There is a work bench in the can and here the
men make things and mend the furniture. The shoe house in which most of
the Teenie Weenies live is quite crowded, so one corner of the tool
house has been made into a comfortable home for Paddy Pinn and Gogo.

An old tea pot has been made into a laundry and here the Chinaman and
Zip, the Teenie Weenie wild man, live and do the family washing each
week. The little folks have made a cigar box into a wonderful hospital
and there the Doctor lives.

Mr. and Mrs. Lover have their own home and live, with their two
children, who are twins, in a baby shoe which has been made into a
beautiful bungalow.

All of these tiny buildings are close to each other under a certain rose
bush and there the little folks live happily together.

The Teenie Weenies ask that the place where they live shall not be told,
as they are afraid curious folks might come around to see them. “Not
that we wouldn’t like to have big people visit us,” they say, “but, you
see, being so little we might get tramped on and that would be quite the
end of us.”

[‡Illustration: Every Type of Teenie Weenie]



The General is the head of the Teenie Weenie family. He is very kind and
wise and all the little folks trust and love him.

The Doctor looks after the health of the Teenie Weenies, and he is often
called to help sick birds, mice and squirrels, for his skill as a doctor
is known for quite a distance about the rose bush. He has an office in
the Teenie Weenie hospital, and there he is able to treat the sick
Teenie Weenies in the best possible way.

The Teenie Weenie Cook is boss of the kitchen and he cooks the most
wonderful food that any Teenie Weenie ever tasted. His stove is made out
of an old tin tobacco can. The oven is so big that a whole stuffed prune
can be baked in it.

Gogo, the little colored Teenie Weenie, is the assistant cook and he can
get up almost as good a meal as the Cook. The General says that no one
can bake a lima bean as well as Gogo.

The Dunce is a foolish fellow, who is always doing funny things. He is
always hungry and the Cook says that he can eat a thimbleful of pudding
and then get inside the thimble. All the Teenie Weenies love the Dunce,
for he is a kind hearted little chap.

The Old Soldier has only one leg but he is a good carpenter and he can
make beautiful furniture out of a few matches. He is also a good tailor
and he knows how to mend shoes wonderfully.

The Lady of Fashion is the most beautiful Teenie Weenie lady. She
dresses in the very latest style and makes many things with her tiny
needle. She is house keeper at the shoe house and often helps the
Doctor, for she is a good nurse.

The Policeman is a fat little fellow whose duty it is to walk about and
look after the Teenie Weenie children. He settles disputes among the
Teenie Weenies and chases away bugs that get too near to the Teenie
Weenie houses.

Grandpa is the very oldest Teenie Weenie. He is crippled up with
rheumatism and spends most of his time sitting in front of the Teenie
Weenie fireplace.

The Chinaman looks after the Teenie Weenie washing. He lives in an old
tea pot, which has been made into a fine laundry. The spout of the tea
pot makes a good chimney, for the Chinaman must have a fire most of the
time, as he needs hot water to wash the clothes and also a place to heat
his tiny irons.

Zip is the Teenie Weenie wild man. He came from a tribe of tiny wild men
to live with the Teenie Weenies. He rooms with the Chinaman and helps
with the washing.

The Cowboy is a great mouse-back rider; in fact he can ride most
anything. He once rode a bucking grass hopper but he said it was pretty
hard work. He can throw the lasso with wonderful skill and he is a good

The Indian is a silent little fellow. He spends much of his time in the
woods and he can follow the trail of a caterpillar in the wildest jungle
of tall grass.

The Scotchman is quite a musical Teenie Weenie. He plays the bagpipes
and dances many fancy steps.

The Sailor is a great swimmer and knows all about boats.

The Turk is very strong. He can lift a thimble full of water above his
head and he can carry a lead pencil on his shoulder. He knows a great
deal about machinery, too.

Rufus Rhyme is the Teenie Weenie poet, who writes verse and songs for
the rest of the Teenie Weenies to sing.

Paddy Pinn is the tallest Teenie Weenie and he is a very jolly and wise

The Clown is a happy-go-lucky fellow, who can walk on his hands and
tumble as well as an acrobat. He loves to play jokes and the Dunce is
his great chum.

Tessie Bone is the newest Teenie Weenie. She joined the Teenie Weenie
family not long ago and all the little people are very fond of her, in
spite of the fact that she is quite a tomboy.

There are several Teenie Weenie women and children and all these little
people live very contentedly in their tiny houses under the rose bush.

All the Teenie Weenies must do their share of the work. If you don’t
work you can’t eat, is their motto and the work is usually done, for all
the little folks have good appetites.

Every day some Teenie Weenie has to help the Cook and Gogo wash up the
dishes and the next day he has to help the Lady of Fashion make the beds
and sweep up the house, while on another day he must help cut wood for
the stoves and the fireplaces.

With all the Teenie Weenies helping it does not take a great while to do
the work, so the little people have most of the day to spend as they

The Teenie Weenies are always ready to help a friend in need and many
times they have helped the squirrels, the birds, the rabbits and the
mice, who live near the rose bush.

Every summer the little people plant a garden and raise many vegetables
which they store away in a great cellar under a tiny hill near the shoe

Each fall the Cook makes delicious jelly and apple butter and puts up
many cans of fruit and vegetables for use during the long winter. The
little people smoke many fish and frog hams too.

Four potatoes will keep the Teenie Weenie family supplied all winter and
when the Cook wants some potatoes for a meal he goes into the cellar and
cuts off a piece. He then covers the place on the potato where he has
cut out the piece with hot paraffine and in this manner he keeps the
potato in good shape until it is used up.

Apples, carrots, and beets are kept in the same way, so you see the
Teenie Weenies have plenty to eat during the winter.

In the summer they live on fresh fruit and vegetables from their garden,
while once a week they buy a fresh minnow from a friendly King Fisher
for a fish dinner. Occasionally they buy an egg from an old hen, which
keeps them supplied with food for a long time, but the Teenie Weenies
don’t have eggs often, for they are expensive, as the old hens demand
twenty-five grains of corn for each egg.

[‡Illustration: A Strawberry]

[Illustration: “Mother Bunch Drinks a Toast”–See Page 126.]


                             THE EASTER EGG

                Humpty Dumpty sat on a hill,
                  Humpty Dumpty had a great spill;
                All the Teenies, ladies and men,
                  Can’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.
                      —_Rufus Rhyme, Teenie Weenie Poet_.

“WELL, madam,” said the General, lifting his hat and bowing politely to
the old hen who lived near the shoe house, “will it be possible for you
to furnish the Teenie Weenies with an egg for their Easter dinner this

“Why, yes, of course,” snapped the old hen. “Ain’t I always ready to lay
an egg when I gets my pay?”

“Dear me,” whispered the Lady of Fashion to the Doctor, “did you ever in
all your life hear such bad grammar?”

“How much will you charge us?” asked the General, as he sat down on a

“Twenty-five grains of corn,” answered the hen, glaring about at the
Teenie Weenies.

“Great guns!” exclaimed the General, “why, that’s five bags, and last
year we paid you only three.”

“Things are awfully high now and worms are scarce; well, all right, you
can have an egg for twenty grains of corn, and not one grain less,”
cried the old hen.

“That’s pretty expensive,” said the General, “but it wouldn’t seem like
Easter if we didn’t have a boiled egg, so I’ll take it and we’ll bring
over the corn in the morning and get the egg.”

The next morning the little folks filled four teenie weenie bags with
corn. Five grains were put into each bag and it was about all a Teenie
Weenie could do to carry it.

When the Teenie Weenies arrived at the hen’s house they opened the bags
and poured the corn out on the ground so the old hen could count them,
for she was a businesslike old lady and wanted to be sure that she was
getting her full amount of corn.

“I’m not afraid you’ll cheat me,” she said, “but any one is liable to
make a mistake and I always believe in being careful in a business

“That’s right, that’s right,” said a big rooster with a huge double
chin, who strutted up to the hen house. “You can’t be too careful when
it’s a matter of business.”

“How are you going to get the egg home?” asked the old hen.

“Oh we can roll it very nicely,” answered the General.

“Well, I was just going to say that I couldn’t deliver it at the low
price of twenty grains of corn,” cackled the hen. “Give me ten grains
more and I’ll walk over to the shoe house and lay it anywhere you say.”

“It isn’t far and we can roll it easily,” answered the General.

“Well clear out and give me a little time and I’ll lay the egg for you,”
said the hen. “You don’t think I can lay an egg with all you folks
standin’ around here starin’, do you?”

The Teenie Weenies retired to the other end of the chicken yard, where
they sat down on several corn cobs to wait.

Presently the old hen announced the laying of the egg with loud cackles
and the little folks started at once to roll the egg home.

It was easy work rolling the egg over the level ground, but when the
Teenie Weenies came to a steep hill that lay in their path they found
that it would be necessary to use ropes in order to let it down safely.
The little fellows rolled the egg up to the edge of the hill, while the
Turk made the ropes ready to handle the heavy load.

Suddenly a puff of wind struck the egg and it rolled over the edge of
the hill. The Cook and Gogo tried to catch it, but they were too late,
and the egg and the two Teenie Weenies tumbled down the hill. The
Policeman, who was standing below, just had time to fall out of the way
as the egg and the Cook rolled past him and smashed up against an old

The Cook was able to save a great deal of the broken egg, which he
dipped up into many wash tubs and thimbles. The Teenie Weenies went to
bed that night with heavy hearts, for they knew that it would be quite
impossible to buy another egg at such high prices.

Easter morning Shoehurst was filled with the greatest excitement, for on
the ground in front of the house lay a fine big egg. Most of the Teenie
Weenies thought the Easter rabbit had left the egg, but they were
greatly mistaken, for the old hen, who was really a kind-hearted old
lady in spite of her gruff manner, had heard of the broken egg and,
feeling sorry for the little people, had slipped over early in the
morning and laid the egg herself.

[‡Illustration: Tumbling]



WHEN Zip, the little wild man, came to live with the Teenie Weenies
there wasn’t a bit of room left in the old shoe house, so the kind
hearted Chinaman took the little chap into his tea pot laundry. There
was plenty of room in the old tea pot, so here the two little fellows
lived in great comfort and Zip paid for his board by helping the
Chinaman launder the Teenie Weenie clothes.

Zip and the Chinaman had eaten a great deal of the easter egg and being
tired and sleepy they had retired quite early. While the little chaps
lay dreaming in their tiny beds, a great storm came up and the big rain
drops came down by the thimbleful. The little men were awakened by the
roar of the rain drops splashing on the roof, but they merely turned
over in their beds and went to sleep again, for why should they worry
about the storm when they were sheltered in a strong tea pot?

Presently the Chinaman was awakened by a queer bouncing of his bed, and
to his great astonishment he found that he was floating about the room.
The frightened Chinaman sat straight up, and as he did so he lost his
balance and tumbled kersplash into the water. He quickly jumped to his
feet and found that the water was just up to his waist. Next he groped
about the room for some Teenie Weenie matches and in a few minutes he
lit a tiny candle.

A wonderful sight met the little fellow’s eyes, for all about the room
chairs, tables, and things floated in great confusion. Zip lay snoring
on his bed, which floated about, and the Chinaman had to shake him hard
before he could be awakened.

“Zippie! Zippie! klick! klick!” shouted the Chinaman. “Wake up klick!
Oh, suchee muchee wet.”

Poor Zip was scared half out of his wits when he looked about the room
and it didn’t take the two Teenie Weenies long to grab a few clothes and
scramble up onto the roof, for the water was almost up to their necks
and was rising fast. The rain had stopped, but it was pitch dark, so the
little fellows could do nothing but put on their clothes and wait for

The rest of the Teenie Weenie houses were not injured by the heavy rain,
for they stood on the high ground and the water ran off down the hill
into the little hollow in which the tea pot stood. The laundry was
entirely surrounded by water, which was fully fourteen Teenie Weenie
feet deep, and as neither of the little men dared swim among the
floating sticks, they were forced to wait until help arrived.

Shortly after daylight the Chinaman and Zip were discovered sitting on
top of the tea pot and in a short time the Teenie Weenies came to their
rescue. They made a raft out of a couple of clothes pins, an old lead
pencil and some boards. Gogo and the Turk pushed the raft through the
floating rubbish about the tea pot and soon landed the Chinaman and Zip
on dry land.

[‡Illustration: Raft]

“J-J-J-Jimminie fish hooks!” exclaimed the Dunce, who was much excited
over the rescue. “When I-I-Ig-g-go to bed to-night I’m goin’ to take a
c-c-c-cork with me for a life preserver.”

“Allee same me savee irons,” cried the Chinaman, who had brought two of
his flat irons through the flood.

“It’s a mighty good thing you held onto those irons,” laughed the Clown.
“They might have floated away.”

The ground around the laundry was a sight when the water finally
settled, for the Teenie Weenie wood pile was quite near and pencils,
matches, and many sticks lay scattered all over the ground.

The Teenie Weenies carried eight thimblefuls of mud out of the tea pot
and in a short time the little folks had the laundry as clean as a
billiard ball, for every one of the little people helped with all his



[‡Illustration: Decoration]

A FEW days after the big flood, Gogo and the Cook washed up the
breakfast dishes, cleaned the kitchen and set out in search of a
mushroom for lunch.

“There’s some powerful big fat ones over in de big field,” remarked
Gogo. “Why dere was one we all saw one day what was so big that fo’ of
us done stand under it while it was rainin’ and nevah a single drop done
touch us.”

“Listen,” whispered the Cook as the little fellows were making their way
through some tall grass, “what in the name of goodness is that awful

“Sounds powerful funny like,” answered Gogo. “Suppose we go through the
weeds and see what it is.” The two Teenie Weenies pushed their way
quietly through the thick weeds and soon they saw a sight which made
them laugh. A young robin stood at the side of a freshly spaded flower
bed, and in his beak he held one end of a big, fat worm. The other end
of the worm was fast in a piece of earth and the robin, with his feet
braced, was holding on to the worm with all his might. The robin was
gurgling and trying to call for help through his half closed beak, and
the two Teenie Weenies quickly saw he needed help if he wished to save
the worm.

[‡Illustration: The Robin]

“Hold on tight!” shouted the Cook, running up to the bird, “and we’ll
get a pick and dig this old worm out for you.”

The bird nodded his head, while the two little chaps hurried over to the
shoe house, where they secured a pick and shouted to the rest of the
Teenie Weenies to follow.

The Turk caught hold of the bird’s tail and helped him hold on to the
worm, while the Dunce pushed on the robin’s chest with all his strength.
Gogo soon broke the piece of earth up with the pick and with one gulp
the robin swallowed the worm.

[‡Illustration: Decoration]

“Whee!” exclaimed the bird, as he moved his head around to ease the
stiffened muscles. “That was some hard job. I haven’t worked as hard as
that for my breakfast for a long time.

“I saw that worm and I grabbed onto him, but he was a strong old fellow,
for he certainly did hang onto that piece of earth with a powerful grip.
I hung right onto him, for I hadn’t had a worm for several days, and I
made up my mind I’d have him if I had to hold on all day.”

“Well, you certainly got him, all right!” laughed the Policeman.

[‡Illustration: Decoration]

“You bet I did, thanks to your help,” grinned the bird.

“How would you all like to hear a verse?” said the Poet, who had been
writing on a piece of tiny paper while the Teenie Weenies had been
helping the bird to get the worm.

“We’d like to hear it!” shouted the Teenie Weenies.

“This verse is entitled ‘Would You,’” said the Poet, as he stepped onto
a piece of earth in full view of the little people:

        “I’d love to be a little bird and hop about the trees,
        And aeroplane above the land and fly across the seas.
        I wouldn’t like to eat the things that little birdies do,
        For I don’t care a bit for worms, now honestly, do you?”

[‡Illustration: The Dunce]



EVERY Sunday afternoon, when the weather was pleasant, the Teenie
Weenies took a long walk. “It’s good for your health,” the General told
them, “and, besides, it’s a good way to put in the Sabbath afternoon.”

One Sunday while they were out on their walk they stopped near a house
to chat a bit with a couple of sparrows, and as the little party talked
the General happened to see the Dunce crawl up a vine onto a window sill
and disappear through the open window.

“Mr. Policeman,” said the General, “I wish you would follow that foolish
Dunce and see what he is up to.”

The Policeman quickly followed the Dunce through the window, but
presently he appeared on the sill and motioned the General to come up.
The General climbed the vine, followed by the rest of the Teenie
Weenies, and crossing over to the inside of the window sill he saw a
most alarming thing. Right below him stood a table and on the table
stood the Dunce, almost knee deep in a piece of custard pie.

“Well, sir,” cried the General sternly, while the rest of the Teenie
Weenies tried to keep from laughing, “haven’t I told you not to meddle
with things when you go into people’s houses? What do you mean by
disobeying me this way?”

“J-J-J-Just a minute, G-G-G-General, and I’ll explain,” shouted the
Dunce, waving his dripping hands at the General. “It’s all an accident,
you see, and this is the way it-it-it all happened. While you all were
down there talking to those sparrows I happened to see this window was
open and I thought I’d climb down here on the table, and j-j-just then
I-I-I-somethin’ told me I-I-I was about to have a fall, and—and as long
as I had to have a fall I thought I might just as well fall into the
pie. You see, it being a custard pie, I knew that it was s-s-soft, and,
of course I wanted to fall onto somethin’ soft. Why, it almost scares me
to death when I stop to think that if that pie had been an apple pie,
with a-a-a hard crust on it, I might have broken an arm or somethin’.

“Well when I found I was goin’ to fall I stepped up to the edge of the
window sill, just above the pie, for I wanted to fall into something
soft. When I landed in the pie I made up my mind that it wouldn’t hurt
anything if I took a bite, so I-I-I-I took a lick or two.”

“Well, sir,” said the General, “I have a feeling that I’m going to fall,
and I believe that as long as I’ve got to fall it might as well be on

“Wh-wh-what do you mean, General?” asked the frightened Dunce.

“I mean, sir,” growled the General, “that I saw a toothpick outside on
the ground, and I’m going to get it and give you a much deserved

[‡Illustration: The Dunce and the Pie]

The Dunce slowly crawled out of the pie, climbed to the window sill and
followed the General down the vine to the ground.

The General picked up half a tooth pick, which lay on the ground, and
taking the naughty fellow by the arm he led him back of an old tin

“Now sir,” said the General sadly. “This is going to hurt me more than
it will hurt you.”

“I-I-I’ll t-t-trade places with you, G-G-General,” stuttered the Dunce.

The General was a most kind hearted little man and he seldom used the
switch, but the Dunce had been warned many times to keep from meddling,
and he had to be punished.

He struck the Dunce several times very lightly across his teenie weenie
legs and the little chap yelled as though he was being killed.

It didn’t hurt the Dunce a bit and he simply yelled because he was
frightened, but it did him a great deal of good, for he behaved himself
for a long time, which goes to show that even a Teenie Weenie needs a
teenie weenie bit of punishment once in a while.


                           HELP! POLICEMANS!

“THUNDERIN’ SNAILS!” exclaimed Paddy Pinn, shortly after the little
folks had helped the robin get his breakfast, as he picked up one of the
tiny garden hoes the Teenie Weenies use. “I’d bust this hoe with one
dig, that’s what I’d do,” and the big fellow burst out in a loud laugh.

“Well, that’s the best we’ve got to offer you,” said the Old Soldier.

“I’ll make one for myself before a grasshopper can shake his left hind
foot, that’s what I’ll do,” cried Paddy, and he ran off towards the rose
bush under which the Teenie Weenies lived. In a few minutes he returned
with a big thorn, which he had cut from a dead brier, and, using a match
for a handle, he made a fine hoe by tying the thorn to the match.

“There!” he exclaimed holding it up. “That’s what I call a man’s sized
hoe, that’s what I do.”

[‡Illustration: Decoration]

The little people set out for the garden, as the General had ordered
them to hoe the lima beans. A number of seeds had been planted, for the
Teenie Weenies were fond of lima beans and they usually had to store
away about two hundred and fifty beans to last them through the winter.

“It will take quite a few more beans this winter,” said the General,
“for our family is larger now.”

“Why the Dunce can eat twenty himself,” laughed the Cook.

“You bet I could,” cried the Dunce, who was always hungry. “I could eat
a whole lima bean right this minute.”

“Why you couldn’t eat half a bean at once,” said the Old Soldier.

“Well, I bet a grape seed I could eat a third of a bean, anyhow,”
answered the Dunce.

The Teenie Weenie garden was hidden away where grown-up people would not
be likely to tramp on the plants and as the little folks trudged along
Gogo struck up the following song, while all the rest joined in the

                “Beans they take the place of meat,
                 And so if we all wish to eat,
                 We must take our rake and hoe
                 And scratch the earth to make ’em grow.


                “Hoe, hoe, rake and hoe!
                 Digging up and down the row.
                 Hoe, hoe, rake and hoe!
                 If you want to see them grow.”

The Teenie Weenies soon arrived at the garden and they set to work at
once, still singing the little song and keeping time with the music as
their tiny hoes struck the ground.

The Lady of Fashion helped with the work, but she was very careful not
to soil her new garden suit, especially her tiny boots, which were made
out of the finest frog leather.

“Listen!” said the Old Soldier, “I thought I he—” But he did not finish
the sentence, for loud screams came from the tall grass back of the

“Helpee! Helpee! Policemans, policemans!” came a voice, and suddenly the
frightened Chinaman burst into sight with the most alarming speed.

[‡Illustration: The Bug]

Hanging onto his shirt tail was a big fat pinching-bug and the scared
Chinaman was only touching the ground about every six inches.

Paddy Pinn struck the bug on the head with his huge hoe, as the Chinaman
went by, and it rolled over on the ground half stunned by the mighty

“Where did you pick up your friend,” asked the General, as he watched
the bug scurry away through the tall grass.

“Me no pickee him up,” gasped the Chinaman. “Allee same he pick me up.
Me sit down under bush to rest and me go sleepee. Me wakee up much klick
and, whillikers, me see blig plinch bug and me run, but he catchee to
shirtee tail and me runnee like glasshopper!”

“I should say you did run like a grasshopper,” laughed the Cowboy.

“Allee same you run like glasshopper, too,” glared the Chinaman, “if
blig plinchin’-bug was hangin’ on your shirtee tail.”

[‡Illustration: The Thimble]



THE Dunce teased the Chinaman a great deal after his experience with the
pinching-bug, but the little fellow took it in good humor.

“Allee same me havee chance to laughee at you sometime maybe,” said the
Chinaman. “Me no get mad but me likee chance to laugh at you.”

“All right Chink,” laughed the Dunce, “if I ever get a pinchin’-bug on
my shirt tail you can laugh yourself sore.”

“Well me waitee; maybe time come when me allee same laughee,” said the

The Chinaman’s chance came sooner than he expected. Every Sunday
afternoon the Teenie Weenies took a long walk, for it was healthful to
walk in the fresh air, and besides it made them hungry for the fine
dinner which the Cook always prepared.

One Sunday during their walk the little people stopped to pay a short
call on an old hen and her chickens who lived some little distance from
the shoe house. After chatting with the hen and her children for some
time the little people continued their walk through a big open field
where they finally sat down to rest on a soft, mossy bank.

“Where’s the Dunce?” asked the General, as he sat down beside the Lady
of Fashion.

“I haven’t seen him since we left the old hen,” answered the little

“He’s back there teasing those chickens,” announced Gogo. “I told him
he’d better look out, or the first thing he knew he’d get a powerful
good peckin’, for one of them fuzzy chickens looked mighty mad, that’s
what she did.”

“It would just serve him right,” laughed the General. “And maybe it
would teach him a lesson—”

“H-e-l-p! H-e-l-p!” came a voice from over a bank of earth, and suddenly
the Dunce dashed into view followed by a very angry young chicken. The
frightened Dunce was covering the ground in great leaps, and just as he
ran into the midst of the startled Teenie Weenies the chicken overtook

“There, you little rascal!” shouted the chicken, giving the Dunce a peck
with her beak which sent the little chap sprawling in the dirt.

“What’s the trouble?” asked the General, jumping to his feet.

“He was callin’ me ‘fuzzy-wuzzy’ and throwing things at me—that’s what
he was,” said the chicken, “and I stood it just as long as I could and I
chased him, that’s what I did, and I’ll do it again, too, if he ever
teases me again.”

“You did exactly the right thing,” said the General, “and I hope this
will be a lesson to him.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t have lost my temper, but I couldn’t stand it
another minute,” said the chicken as she trotted away in the direction
of her home.

“J-J-J-Jimminie C-C-C-Christmas!” exclaimed the Dunce, “but that fool
chicken gave me an awful wallop.”

[‡Illustration: The Chicken]

That night there was a big black and blue spot on the Dunce’s back and
the Doctor had to rub it with salve, but it really did the foolish
fellow a lot of good, for he has done no teasing since.



“WELL Chink, what can I do for you this morning?” asked the General, as
the Chinaman took off his hat and stepped into the Teenie Weenie

“Allee same me gottee flavor me want to ask,” said the little fellow.

“Sit down, sir, and tell me what it is,” smiled the General, pushing a
tiny chair towards the Chinaman.

“Well,” said the Chinaman, “me gottee lot of washie allee time and me
use lottee water.”

“Yes, I imagine you use a lot of water.”

“Oh yes!” exclaimed the Chinaman. “Me use muchee much. Sometimes me use
ten, twenty, twenty-three thimblefuls when me have bigwash. Me likee
water from roof, it muchee much better to washee clothes in, but when
the rain he no come down me have to carry water from cleek and that long
way to carry wash water.”

“Yes it is,” agreed the General, “and we will have to build a cistern so
you can have all the water you need without having to carry it so far.”

“Yes me wantee clistern; me need clistern and me likee vlery much to
have clistern.”

“You shall have a cistern. I’ll give orders for one to be built right
away,” said the General.

The General went out in search of the Old Soldier, who was cutting some
matches up for fire wood, and the two Teenie Weenies discussed the
matter of a cistern for some time.

“We ought to have a good big cistern,” said the Old Soldier, “and I
believe that we could make a good one by sinking a tin can in the

After a great deal of talk about the matter the little men decided to
build the cistern as near the center of the little village as possible.

“You see,” said the Old Soldier, “if we build it at some central point
we won’t have to lay so many pipes, and we will be able to catch all the
water from most of the roofs.”

The next morning the little people went to work, and, while several of
the Teenie Weenies dug a deep hole near the shoe house, the rest went
out in search of a tin can to fill the hole.

On an ash heap not far away they found an old tin can and after a great
deal of labor the little folks rolled it up to the hole. When the hole
had been dug deep enough the Teenie Weenies rolled it in and then filled
the earth in around the edges, so that when the work was done only the
top could be seen.

The Teenie Weenies used dried hollow reeds for water pipes and when they
had been painted thoroughly with a water proof paint, which the Old
Soldier boiled up in a thimble, they carried the water nicely.

The pipes were connected up with the spouting from the tiny roofs and
laid in trenches to the cistern. The top of the can was cut off and a
tight fitting cover was put on. A little door was left in the top of the
cover, so a bucket could be lowered and water drawn up when it was
needed. A bucket made out of a hazel nut was used for the purpose, and
it took three buckets full to fill a thimble.

[‡Illustration: A Can]

“Now allee we need is a rain,” cried the Chinaman, when the work was
finished. “And me hope it rainee like everythings to-night.”

“Well you may have your wish, Chink,” said the Sailor, looking up at the
sky. “It sort of looks like we may have a shower to-night.”

The Sailor was right. It did rain that night and it rained hard.

The Chinaman was up at daylight to see whether the cistern had been
filled, and to the great joy of the little chap he found it full to the
very top.

[‡Illustration: Pour into thimble]


                        THE DOCTOR SAVES A BIRD

“DOCTOR!” shouted the Dunce one morning, as he popped his head into the
library, “t-t-there’s a b-b-bird outs-s-side who wants to s-s-see you.”

“All right,” answered the Doctor, “tell him I’ll be out in a minute.”

“I think he’s a her,” said the Dunce, “but anyhow she’s awfully excited
and I think something terrible must have happened.”

The Doctor stepped out onto the Teenie Weenie front porch, and before
the house he saw a bird in the act of shaking a tear off the end of her

“Well, madam,” said the Doctor, “what can I do for you?”

“Oh, Doctor,” cried the bird, “please save my baby! I have lost two
babies in the last month and please, oh, please, save my last baby for

“Be calm, my dear lady,” said the Doctor, “and tell me all about the

“Well,” began the mother, “I had three lovely babies this spring and
about six weeks ago two of them were taken suddenly ill. I did
everything I could for them, but they both died and only last night my
last baby was taken sick. A squirrel, who lives in a tree near my nest,
told me about you and I decided to come to you for help.”

“I’ll get my medicine case and join you in a minute,” said the Doctor,
and running into the tiny house he soon returned.

“Jump right onto my back,” said the bird, “and I’ll take you to my baby
in a jiffy.”

The Doctor climbed onto the bird’s back and in another minute he found
himself sailing over the tops of the trees so fast he could scarcely
breathe. In a few minutes the bird landed on a bush and quickly hopped
to a pretty nest hidden beneath the green leaves. The Doctor slid off
into the nest, where he found a young and very sick bird.

[‡Illustration: The tree]

“Let’s see your tongue,” said the Doctor, but the poor bird was so sick
he could hardly open his mouth and the Doctor was forced to take hold of
his beak and help. Next the Doctor examined the bird’s eyes and felt his

“What has the patient been eating lately?” asked the Doctor.

“I have given him only the nicest and fattest bugs and worms I could
find,” answered the mother.

“Madam,” said the Doctor, “your baby is a very sick boy, but I think I
can save his life if you will follow my advice.”

“I’ll do anything to save my boy,” cried the poor mother.

“First,” said the Doctor, “the patient must not have much to eat. He
will have to have a special diet, which the Teenie Weenie Cook will
prepare for him. The patient must be kept dry at all costs,” continued
the Doctor.

“I never leave the nest when it’s raining,” cried the mother bird, “and
I keep him just as dry as can be.”

“You keep the rain off your child, no doubt,” said the Doctor, “but the
nest gets wet and it must be kept dry too.”

The bird carried the Doctor back to the shoe house, where he soon made
arrangements for taking care of the sick child.

The Teenie Weenies carried boards over to the tree and pulled them up to
the nest with ropes and pulleys. They built a strong frame work over the
nest and roofed it with card-board, which was given several coats of
water proof paint.

“This roof will keep the nest dry,” said the Doctor, when the work had
been done, “and that is a most important matter.”

The Cook made angle-worm broth for the sick bird and he cooked corn and
rice in such a delicious way that the poor patient soon began to
improve. At the end of a week the bird was much better and three weeks
later he was entirely cured.


                         FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH

“DO YOU all know what day this is?” asked Gogo, as he stopped at the
laundry door and looked mournfully in at the Chinaman, who was singing
loudly as he rubbed a tiny shirt up and down his wash board.

[‡Illustration: Boy with thimble]

“Why allee same it Fliday,” answered the Chinaman. “Yes sir,” said the
little colored Teenie Weenie sadly, “it’s mo’ than just Friday. It’s
Friday the thirteenth.”

“Allee same what difference?” asked the Chinaman.

“When Friday comes on the thirteenth of the month it’s mighty unlucky,”
answered Gogo, with a most serious expression on his black little face.
“You all better look out, ’cause somethin’ always happens that is
powerful unlucky on a day like this.”

“Nothing happen unlucky to me,” cried the Chinaman. “Me vely happy. Me
gottee clistern full of water and me gottee lottee wash to do, so me too
busy to be unlucky,” and the little chap began washing all the harder.

“Well just you remembah that I-all told you it was unlucky. I just
wanted to wa’n you, dat’s all,” and Gogo mournfully made his way to the
Lovers’ bungalow, where he left much advice to Mr. and Mrs. Lover.

Gogo spent most of the morning explaining that it was Friday the
thirteenth, and he warned each and every Teenie Weenie that it was a
most unlucky day.

“Well Gogo,” said the General, when the little people sat down to their
noonday meal, “has anything unlucky happened yet?”

“No sir, not yet,” answered the little fellow, “but there’s plenty of
time yet for somethin’ to happen. Just you wait and see.”

“General,” said the Cook, popping his head through the kitchen door,
“there isn’t a bit of sugar in the house. Every last speck has been used
and we haven’t a grain.”

“Great pinhead!” exclaimed the General, “that’s terrible. We can’t get
along without sugar.”

“Didn’t I-all tell you dat this was a unlucky day,” cried Gogo, looking
around at his friends.

“Well it certainly is unlucky if we haven’t any sugar in the house,”
cried the Dunce, who had a large sweet tooth.

“After dinner I’ll see what we can do, Cook,” said the General. “We
certainly must have some sugar.”

The Teenie Weenies made their own sugar from the sap of the maple tree,
or from the blossoms of sweet clover, but the frost had stopped the flow
of the maple sap and the little folks had only been able to make a small
amount of sugar.

“It will be quite a spell before we can make sugar out of the sweet
clover blossoms,” said the Old Soldier, “and we will have to get sugar
some other way.”

That afternoon the General ordered the Teenie Weenies to go out in
search of sugar. “But mind,” warned the General, “I don’t want any one
to take sugar from the big houses unless you see that it is going to

All afternoon the little people searched about the big house, but not
one bit of sugar could they find, and as it was growing dark, it began
to look as though the Teenie Weenie sugar bowl would be empty that night
at supper.

“Dat’s all on account of Friday the thirteenth,” moaned Gogo. “Dis is
suttinly a most unlucky day.”

“G-G-General, G-G-G-General,” gasped the Dunce as he dashed into the
Teenie Weenie sitting room, “Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks! I found a great
big lot of sugar!”

“Where?” asked the excited Teenie Weenies.

“Well,” said the Dunce, “I was hurrying along the walk over by the big
fence and I saw a little boy stub his toe and fall down. When he got up
and went away I went over where he had fallen and I found a bag of
sugar. He dropped it when he fell and it was spilled over the sidewalk.”

“Didn’t he try and pick it up?” asked the Doctor.

“N-N-N-No,” answered the Dunce. “He just got up and went on his way.”

“Well we certainly can’t let that sugar lie there and spoil,” smiled the
General, and he ordered the Teenie Weenies to rescue as much of the
sugar as possible.

[‡Illustration: Rescue as much of the sugar as possible.]

Taking shovels and thimbles the little folks hurried to the bag of
sugar, where they set to work carrying it to their store house.

They worked until it was quite dark and when the last bit of sugar which
could be saved had been carried to the store room, it filled an old

It took eighty-four thimblefuls to fill the cup and the Cook announced
that it would be quite enough to last the little family through the
canning season.

“Well Gogo,” said the Old Soldier, as the little people sat around the
tiny fire place after dinner, “considerin’ that cupful of sugar we found
today, Friday the thirteenth hasn’t proved so very unlucky.”

“N-N-N-No, taint,” answered the little fellow sadly, “but it’s been
mighty unlucky for that little boy that stubbed his toe, just the same.”


                             AN INVITATION

“SAY Cook,” said the Dunce, peering into the Teenie Weenie kitchen,
“can’t we make s-s-some t-t-taffy? You have a lot of sugar now and I
thought maybe you could s-s-s-spare s-s-s-some.”

“Oh, I suppose so!” answered the Cook. “But just remember this; I don’t
want you to get things mussed up, and you’ve got to clean the kitchen up
when you’re through.”

“Yes s-s-sir, we will,” cried the Dunce, and he hurried out to tell the
good news to the Clown. But as he ran out of the door all thoughts of
taffy popped from his tiny head, for he saw a most unusual sight.

Up the walk came six Teenie Weenies staggering under the weight of a big
letter and it was addressed to the Teenie Weenies.

The little men dropped the letter on the ground before the shoe house
and quickly cut the envelope open with one of their tiny axes.

A piece of paper was folded inside the envelope and the little people
soon pulled it out and spread it on the ground.

“Read it, General, read it!” shouted the excited Teenie Weenies.

“All right,” cried the General; “keep quiet and I’ll read it aloud.”

The little folks had been chattering like a lot of magpies, but they
instantly held their tiny tongues and gathered closely about the edge of
the letter.

“Dear Teenie Weenies,” began the General, “I thought I would write to
you and ask you if you would come and live in my doll house. I have a
nice doll house and it would make a very nice place for you to live in.
I will cook good things for you to eat. You can play with my toys and I
have a little toy horse that the Dunce can ride on.

“You can have a pan of water to swim in. I will make beautiful clothes
for the Lady of Fashion. I will make cookies for you, and I will make
candy too. Please come. I would like to have you come.

“Yours truly, your friend, Helen Meyers.”

“J-J-J-J-Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks!” shouted the Dunce, “let’s go. I can
pack my suit case in two shakes of a grasshopper’s hind leg.”

“Why goodness sakes!” exclaimed the Lady of Fashion, who had been
looking at the little girl’s address at the bottom of the letter. “This
little girl lives quite near and we could go over to her house and see
her doll house.”

“Let’s do it,” shouted the little people so earnestly that the General
gave his consent and they set off immediately.

[‡Illustration: Doll house]

After a long walk the Teenie Weenies finally arrived at the little
girl’s home and, finding the coast clear, they soon made their way into
the house.

In the corner of a room the little folks found the doll house, which
they examined from top to bottom.

“Well, it’s a nice enough house to look at,” remarked the Cook, as he
stepped out onto the front porch, “but there isn’t any running water or
a sink in the kitchen.”

“And there isn’t a bath room,” cried the Lady of Fashion. “I simply
couldn’t live in a house that had no bath.”

“That just suits me,” said the Dunce, who hated baths.

“It’s built out of paper,” said the Old Soldier. “I’d never live in a
house that was built out of paper. There’s too much danger of fire and
besides no insurance company would ever insure a paper house,” and the
Old Soldier sat down on the little porch.

“Well,” said the General, sitting down beside the Old Soldier, “I don’t
think we want to give up the old shoe house. Even if it is old, it’s a
pretty comfortable place after all.” And all the little folks quite
agreed with him.

The Teenie Weenies were much interested in the little girl’s doll, which
sat near the doll house, and they examined it very carefully. Of course
the Dunce had to climb all over the doll, although the Policeman had
warned him to keep off. Finally he got his feet tangled in the doll’s
hair and fell off its head right on top of the Policeman, who was so
angry that he marched the Dunce home, and sent him to bed with nothing
to eat but water and bread.

The little girl never knew that the Teenie Weenies had paid her a visit,
but had she examined the front porch of her doll’s house she might have
seen tiny foot prints in the dust.

The next morning the Teenie Weenies answered the little girl’s letter
and here it is, just as the little people set it down:

    “Dear Helen:

    “We want to thank you for your kind invitation, but we think it
    would be much better for us to live in the old shoe house. Shoehurst
    is quite comfortable, and it is so pretty under the old rose bush we
    should hate to give it up. The big briars, with their sharp thorns,
    guard us like a sentinel and keep big feet from treading on our
    home, and in the summer the cool leaves shield us from the hot sun.
    It is beautiful in June, when the scent of roses is in the air, to
    lie on the cool moss and listen to the humming of the bees.

    “Your kind invitation has given us a great deal of pleasure, for
    it’s mighty nice to know that people want us to come and live with
    them, even if we can’t do it.

    “We can’t leave Shoehurst, for, although it’s nothing but an old
    shoe, it’s home.

    “Again thanking you for your generous invitation, we are, sincerely

                   “The Teenie Weenies.”


[‡Illustration: Mouse-back race]

                          THE MOUSE-BACK RACE

ALTHOUGH the Teenie Weenies refused to live with big people, they never
tired of going into the big houses, for there were many wonderful things
to see in them.

“It was mighty nice of that little girl to ask us to come and live in
her doll’s house,” said the Old Soldier, “but if we lived all the time
in a big house we’d get so used to them we wouldn’t care to visit them
and that would spoil a lot of our fun, for it really is a great pleasure
to wander among the things that big people use.”

One afternoon several of the little folks were taking a walk when they
stopped before a big house.

“Let’s go in and look around,” said the Dunce, who had fond hopes of
finding something good to eat.

“Allee same this house where Blillie Mouse lives,” cried the Chinaman.

“That’s so,” said the General. “Let’s go in and make a call on Billie.”

“Yes, let’s do it,” cried the rest of the Teenie Weenies, and they
quickly made their way into the cellar where Billie Mouse lived.

The entrance to the home of Mr. Mouse was through a crack between two
bricks. The General knocked loudly several times, and receiving no
answer, he told the rest to wait for him, and stepped boldly in. He
found no one at home, and so, leaving his card, returned to the waiting
Teenie Weenies.

“I’m awfully sorry Mr. Mouse is out,” said the Lady of Fashion, as the
little people moved away. “I haven’t seen him for a long time.”

“Here he comes now,” cried the Cook, pointing toward a pile of lumber at
the other end of the cellar. “And there’s another mouse with him.”

Billie Mouse saw the Teenie Weenies, and came bounding joyfully up to

“My, it does my eyes good to see you again,” he cried. “It’s a long time
since I have seen you.”

Motioning the other mouse to come up, he introduced him to all the
Teenie Weenies.

“I’m delighted to meet you,” the new mouse said, making a deep bow.

“Well how have you been?” asked the General, sitting down on the edge of
an old scrubbing brush.

“Oh I’m in pretty good shape now,” answered Billie Mouse, “but I have
had a very bad time of it for the last three weeks. I had a bad case of
ptomaine poisoning.”

“Ptomaine poisoning!” exclaimed the General. “That’s rather serious.”

“Yes, I was pretty sick for a time,” said the Mouse. “Got hold of some
cheese that was tainted.”

“You ought to be careful of what you eat,” cried the Lady of Fashion.
“People are always putting out food which has been poisoned.”

“I know it,” said Billie Mouse, “especially cheese. I’m always
suspicious of cheese, but this piece which made me sick looked perfectly
good. I smelled it and carefully tasted it before I ate it and I thought
it was all right.”

“Let’s have a race?” suggested the Cowboy, after the two mice and the
Teenie Weenies had talked for some time.

The mice agreed, and a race course was soon chosen. The race was to be
run between two long boards, and an old scrubbing brush was brought up
for a hurdle at the end of the track. The Cowboy was to ride one mouse
and the Dunce, who claimed to be a good rider, the other.

“Now,” said the General, “the man who rides down the length of these
boards and jumps over the scrubbing brush first will win the race.”

When all was ready the signal was given and down the track came the
mice, as fast as they could run, with the Cowboy and the Dunce sticking
tightly to their backs. As the mice drew near the hurdle the Dunce was
ahead, and it looked as though he would win the race. But just as the
mouse sprang into the air to leap over the brush the Dunce lost his
grip, and was tossed into the air. The mouse jumped over the brush, and
when the Dunce came down he hit the ground with a great thud.

[‡Illustration: Mouse riding]

The Cowboy stuck tightly to his mouse, and leaping gracefully over the
brush, he was declared winner.

The Dunce was not hurt by his fall. He joined loudly in the laughter
that greeted his tumble, and was the first to start a cheer for the


                           A WATERMELON FEAST

“SAY, Gogo!” shouted the Dunce one morning as he ran up the steps of the
shoe house. “Do you like watermelon?”

“Say, foolish person, what you-all askin’ such a silly question fo’?”
grinned the happy colored Teenie Weenie. “If there is anything in the
whole world I like better than watermelon, it’s mo’ watermelon.”

“Well I-I-I know where there’s a great b-b-big piece,” shouted the
Dunce. “It’s over on a table in the big green house and there was a man
eatin’ some and he said that he couldn’t eat any more. I heard him, for
I climbed up the morning glory vine at the window and watched him.”

“Let’s go!” shouted several of the Teenie Weenies.

“Well you’d better not be in a hurry,” remarked the General, stepping
out onto the front porch. “You all know that it wouldn’t be right to
help yourselves to that watermelon unless the people who own it were
going to throw it away.”

“Yes s-s-sir, that’s j-j-j-just what they are going to do,” stuttered
the Dunce. “The man said that he couldn’t eat any more and a woman said
to leave it right on the table and she would throw it out.”

“Well that’s different,” answered the General, who was fond of melon
himself. “Under the circumstances we can go over and have a taste.”

It took but a short time for the little people to make their way over to
the house and, crawling through the crack under the kitchen door, they
saw the red top of the melon on the table. To their delight they saw a
great deal had been left.

The Teenie Weenies all are wonderful climbers, and it was a simple
matter for the little folks to climb up onto the table. They swarmed
onto the melon and ate until they could not hold another bite.

After the little people had eaten all they could hold they amused
themselves by playing with the various things they found on the table.
The Clown climbed up to the top of a fork, which stuck in the melon, and
performed some wonderful acrobatic feats. The small boys took off their
shoes and stockings, waded in the juice, and pushed themselves about
with toothpicks on the huge seeds, which made fine rafts.

Gogo ate until he nearly burst, and the Doctor found the little fellow
sitting on the handle of a knife holding his tiny head.

“What’s the matter?” asked the Doctor.

“I’s in trouble,” he groaned.

“Anything serious?” asked the Doctor.

“Yes, sir,” answered the colored Teenie Weenie, pointing to the huge
slice of melon. “I’s plumb full. Can’t eat another bite, and all that
watermelon before me!”

“Well that is sort of tough,” laughed the Doctor, “but if I were you I’d
not let that worry me, for you certainly will be sick if you eat any

The Cowboy carried several of the seeds back to the shoe house and
stored them away in the tool house.

[‡Illustration: Watermelon pits]

“I’m going to plant these next summer,” he said, “and then we can have a
watermelon of our own.”

“You’d have a hard time cutting it open,” suggested the Old Soldier.

“Gosh!” exclaimed the Cowboy, “I never thought of that, but I suppose we
could blast it open with dynamite.”

“Just leave that to Gogo,” laughed the Doctor. “He will find some way to
get into it.”

The Teenie Weenies were so full of melon they could not eat a bite of
lunch—not even the Dunce—and the Cook had a good rest that day.

Poor Gogo ate more than was good for him. He consumed a piece of melon
as big as a hickory nut and the Doctor was up half the night putting
teenie weenie hot water bottles on his teenie weenie tummie.



SEVERAL days after the watermelon feast the Dunce failed to put in an
appearance at the noonday meal. This was rather unusual, for he was
always hungry and he generally was the first Teenie Weenie to draw his
chair up to the tiny table.

“Where’s the Dunce?” asked the General, as he carved a slice from a big
strawberry and dropped it onto the Cowboy’s waiting plate.

“I haven’t seen him for a couple of hours,” answered the Policeman.

“Last me see him,” grunted the Indian, “him go down garden path to big

“Well, I think something must have happened to him, for he is always the
first to the dinner table,” said the General, anxiously.

“I think so, too,” put in the Lady of Fashion, “for he knew we were
going to have a strawberry for dinner, and that would bring him, if
nothing else did.”

“Just as soon as we have finished dinner I think some of us had better
go out and look for him,” said the General.

So, as soon as the meal was over, the Teenie Weenies started out to
search for the Dunce.

The Indian pointed out the house near which he had last seen the Dunce,
and crawling under the door the Teenie Weenies began to look all about
the place.

“Listen,” cried the Cook, as he stepped over a safety pin, “I thought I
heard him call.”

“Help—h-e-l-p!” came a voice faintly from the next room.

“That’s him—that’s the Dunce’s voice,” cried the Sailor, and running
through the doorway, they saw the tip of the Dunce’s cap bobbing up and
down over the top of a sideboard.

Climbing up, the Teenie Weenies found the Dunce standing up to his knees
in a plate of sticky taffy!

“I—I—I’m stuck,” sobbed the Dunce.

“Yes, we can see you are,” said the General, with a smile, as he walked
up to the side of the plate.

After a great deal of work the Cowboy and the Turk pulled the Dunce out.

[‡Illustration: Taffy]

“What were you doing in that taffy?” asked the General, as he led the
Dunce up the garden towards the Teenie Weenie house.

“I saw the plate,” answered the Dunce, “and I—I—I just went up to get a
taste and—and—”

“You got stuck fast,” said the General.

“Yes—I did,” and the Dunce looked sad and sorry.

“Look here,” said the General, “you’ve got to stop this running away, or
I’ll send you off to the little girl who wrote us a letter and said that
if the Dunce would come and live with her, she would reform him, and
make a good boy out of him. I think you need reforming.”

“Y-yes,” said the Dunce, uncertainly.

“What do you think would have happened to you if we hadn’t found you and
pulled you out of that taffy?” demanded the General.

The Dunce looked frightened. “Why—why,” he answered, “I spec’ I would
have been et!”


                          THE GREAT FIELD DAY

THE Teenie Weenies teased the Dunce a great deal after his experience in
the taffy plate, and if it hadn’t been for an event which soon took
place he would have had to stand much more of their joking.

[‡Illustration: Decoration]

For a long time the Teenie Weenies had thought of holding a field day.
Their interest in athletics probably started from the example of the
Chinaman, who had become quite expert as a pole vaulter. The little
fellow made a vaulting pole out of a dry straw, and with this he could
vault over a dandelion with the greatest ease.

“Do you-all know that we could have a field day if we really tried?”
asked Gogo one afternoon of a group of the little fellows as they sat
watching the Chinaman. “Now there is the Chinaman, who could enter the
pole vault, the Turk can run fast and he can jump and I can put the
shot. Why, we could have a powerful fine field day.”

“And say!” exclaimed Rufus Rhyme. “How’s this for a yell:

                      “Rah! Rah! Rah!
                      Zip boom Fah!
                      Teenie Weenie! Teenie Weenie!
                      Rah! Rah! Rah!”

[‡Illustration: Throwing a ball]

“That’s fine!” shouted the little chaps, and they practiced the yell
until they fairly rattled the leaves on the old rose bush.

Everybody was greatly excited over the suggestion for a field day, and
for several weeks the little men trained for the great event. A place
was chosen on a fine sandy spot near the shoe house where the little
people could hold their games in perfect safety. A big board fence stood
on one side, while a row of bushes protected them from prying eyes on
the other side.

For several days the Old Soldier and the Turk had worked hard getting
things ready for the great day. Many hurdles were built out of matches
and two long poles were set firmly in the ground for the pole vault. The
Teenie Weenie ladies, led by the Lady of Fashion, found a piece of an
old silk necktie, which they cut up and made into many tiny pennants, on
which they embroidered the Teenie Weenie monogram.

[‡Illustration: Hurdles]

The day of the great event proved to be warm and pleasant and many tiny
records were broken by the little folks. Gogo proved to be the hero of
the day. Besides acting as trainer to the athletes, he broke the Teenie
Weenie record for the shot put, hurling the B B buck shot forty-two and
a half (Teenie Weenie) feet, which is twenty-one and a quarter inches in
our measurement. This mighty effort beat the record by two and a half
feet, which had been held by Paddy Pinn for several years.

[‡Illustration: High jump]

The Turk won the hundred and twenty yard hurdle race, beating the Dunce
by two seconds. The Scotchman won the hundred yard dash, while the Clown
took away the honors in the high jump. The little fellow cleared the
match at seven and a half (Teenie Weenie) feet, or three and
three-quarters inches.

The Chinaman set a new record for the pole vault.

The little chap cleared the straw at fifteen (Teenie Weenie) feet.

The Teenie Weenies had a most wonderful day, and that night they held a
banquet in honor of the occasion. The desks were removed from the floor
of the school house, a huge table was brought in and the Cook dished up
one of the finest dinners the little people ever ate.

The Dunce ate so much of the big stuffed prune, which was served for
dessert, that he had to go to bed, but the rest of the little folks
danced until a late hour.

[‡Illustration: Bee]


                        THE DUNCE PULLS A TOOTH

“I’LL just bet you a grape seed I’d have won that hurdle race from the
Turk, if I hadn’t had a toothache,” said the Dunce the day after the
field day.

“Why don’t you-all have it pulled?” asked Gogo.

“Ah say! Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks!” exclaimed the Dunce. “That would
hurt and I’d rather have the t-t-t-toothache.”

The poor Dunce was afraid to mention his toothache to the General for
fear he would have the Doctor pull it out. He suffered for some time,
but at last he could stand it no longer and one day he decided to ask

“Oh, whillikers! Jimminie fishhooks, ouch!” he howled as he ran into the
sitting room of the shoe house.

“Now what’s the matter?” asked the General.

“I-I-I-I’ve got the t-t-t-toothache!” wailed the Dunce, holding his hand
over his jaw and dancing about on one foot.

“Well, find the Doctor and get attended to,” said the General.

The Dunce found the Doctor, and after he had carefully examined the
aching tooth he told the Dunce it would have to be pulled.

“What!” shouted the Dunce. “Jimminie Christmas! I-I-I-I’d rather have
the t-t-toothache.”

“All right, just as you like,” said the Doctor.

“Can’t you put something on it to make it quit aching?” asked the Dunce.

“That tooth is in bad condition,” said the Doctor, “and the only way to
stop it for once and all is to pull it.”

“All right, s-s-s-sir,” groaned the Dunce, “p-p-p-pull it out.”

The Doctor got out a tiny pair of forceps and a glass of water. He then
had the Dunce sit in one of the easy chairs and told him to open his

“S-S-S-Say, Doc,” stuttered the frightened Dunce, “i-i-i-is it gonna
hurt m-m-m-much?”

“Yes, it will hurt a little.”

“S-S-S-Say, Doc, c-c-c-couldn’t I pull it myself?”

“I suppose you could,” answered the Doctor. “You could tie a thread to
it with the other end fixed to a stone and then get up on something high
and drop the stone. That would certainly pull it out.”

“That’s w-w-w-what I’m gonna do,” and the Dunce jumped out of the chair
and disappeared through the doorway.

The Dunce hunted up Gogo and asked that little fellow’s advice about
pulling the aching tooth.

“Dere’s a fine place over the hill just back of the house,” said the
little black Teenie Weenie. “Dere’s a berry basket and you can done
climb up on dat, tie on de stone, and out comes dat toof like a cork out
of a bottle.”

The two little fellows secured a piece of strong silk thread and,
followed by a number of the Teenie Weenies, they hurried to the basket
back of the house.

[‡Illustration: Peach seed]

The Dunce and Gogo chose a peach seed for the weight to tie to the end
of the thread and after boosting it up onto the basket they climbed up
themselves. The thread was fixed tightly to the peach seed and the other
end was tied to the offending tooth.

“Now all you got to do is to give dat peach seed a kick and out comes
dat toof,” said Gogo.

“C-C-C-Crickets!” moaned the Dunce, “I-I-I-I got a kind of sick feelin’
in my s-s-s-stomach. I think I’ll wait awhile.”

For full half an hour the Dunce stood trembling on the edge of the
basket while Gogo and the Doctor argued with the foolish fellow to kick
off the seed and have it all over.

While the Dunce was talking to the Doctor, Gogo suddenly kicked the seed
off the basket and the tooth was jerked out of the Dunce’s mouth before
he really knew what happened.

“Oh, whillikers! Jimminie crickets! Hallelujah!” shouted the Dunce,
dancing up and down with joy, when he realized that the tooth was out.
“It’s out, it’s out! Hallelujah, hallelujah!”


                        AN ADVENTURE WITH A FROG

“ALLEE same where Clowboy?” gasped the Chinaman, stopping at the back
porch of the shoe house, were the Cook sat slicing a grape for lunch.

“I saw him a while ago talking to the Indian,” answered the Cook. “They
were sitting under that big mushroom on the other side of the house.”

“Thankee,” and the Chinaman hurried around the corner of the house,
puffing like a steam engine.

“Oh there you are,” he cried, as he spied the Indian and the Cowboy,
lying in the shade of the mushroom. “Allee same me gottee much to tell.”

“Well what is it, Chink?” asked the Cowboy.

“Me see big clowflog.”

“You mean a big bullfrog,” corrected the Cowboy.

“Yes, yes—a bulltoad—bullflog,” cried the excited Chinaman. “Him sleep
on log at pond. Him snore like everythings. You come and throw lasso
over his head and we catchee him.”

“You round up the fellows and I’ll get my rope,” cried the Cowboy,
smacking his lips over the thought of delicious baked frog ham.

In a few minutes the Teenie Weenies were on their way towards the pond,
which lay back of the woods near the shoe house.

“S-s-sh,” warned the Indian, as the little people hurried up to the edge
of the pond. “Frog him sleep; don’t wake.”

The Teenie Weenies sneaked along carefully until they stood quite near
the log on which the sleeping frog sat. He was a big green fellow and
the Teenie Weenies scarcely breathed for fear they would awaken the
frog, and lose him.

Several of the strongest Teenie Weenies held the end of the rope while
the Cowboy crawled silently onto the log.

“Now when I drop the noose over the frog’s head,” whispered the Cowboy,
“you fellows jerk the rope and hold on for dear life.”

The Cowboy slipped quietly up behind the frog and cleverly tossed the
rope over the big fellow’s head.

Awakened by the rope falling about his neck, the frog gave a mighty leap
towards the water. He was a powerful fellow, and went into the water
with a great splash, pulling several of the Teenie Weenies with him.

As the frog disappeared beneath the water the Teenie Weenies swam for
shore, where they were pulled up onto the bank by their friends, all
sputtering, all soaked to the skin, but unhurt.

[‡Illustration: Frog]

When the Teenie Weenies discovered that none of the little folks had
been hurt by the ducking, they laughed until the tears ran down their
teenie weenie faces.

“Ho, ho, ho!” roared the Poet, as he rolled over on the ground with
laughter, “I haven’t seen anything so funny as this for a long time.”

“It’s almost as funny as the time the Dunce fell into the dish of apple
sauce,” giggled the Lady of Fashion.

“Goodee gracious!” exclaimed the Chinaman, who had been looking on with
wide opened eyes, “allee same me didn’t know that bull clow—I mean
bullflog—him so strong.”

“Strong!” cried the Doctor, “I should say they are strong. Why a frog
has wonderfully powerful legs. He could kick a Teenie Weenie over an ice
cream bucket with one blow of his hind leg.”

“I wouldn’t mind if one kicked me INTO an ice cream freezer,” grinned
the Dunce, who was fond of ice cream.

“That ’ol frog reminds me of an old song,” said Gogo and as the Teenie
Weenies walked back towards the shoe house the little colored chap sang
this quaint little song:

                 “Frog went a-courting and he did ride—
                             Umm humm!
                 Frog went a-courting and he did ride,
                 He wore a pistol by his side—
                             Umm humm!
                 He rode up to Miss Mouse’s house—
                             Umm humm!
                 He rode up to Miss Mouse’s house—
                 Said he ‘Miss Mouse will you marry me?’
                             Umm humm!”


                         SOMETHING ABOUT A BEAR

IT was a warm, lazy sort of morning, and very few Teenie Weenies were to
be seen about the rose bush. Grandpa sat fast asleep in his easy chair
on the front porch of the shoe house. Gogo was busily engaged carving a
sugar bowl out of a large cherry seed, while several of the little men
hacked at the wood pile back of the kitchen.

The Policeman was telling a couple of sparrows how the Dunce howled over
his tooth being pulled when the Lady of Fashion touched him on the

“I beg your pardon,” she said, “but do you know where the General is?”

“He’s over at the tool house, ma’am,” answered the Policeman, touching
his hat.

“Is he busy?” asked the little lady.

“I don’t think so, ma’am. He’s just watching the Old Soldier and Paddy
Pinn, who are tanning a frog hide for shoe leather.”

“Would you mind asking him to meet me in the library. I want to see him
on a matter of great importance,” said the Lady of Fashion.

“With pleasure, ma’am,” answered the Policeman, and touching his hat
again he set off while the Lady of Fashion returned to the shoe house.

“Well, my dear lady,” said the General a few minutes later as he stepped
into the Teenie Weenie library where the Lady of Fashion sat waiting,
“the Policeman tells me that you want to speak with me.”

“Yes, General,” answered the little lady, “I have something important I
want to talk to you about. I want you to do something for me. Something
very nice. Will you?”

“Why, I don’t know. What do you want?” asked the head of the Teenie
Weenies as he sat down in one of the tiny chairs.

“Well,” began the little lady, “while I was out walking yesterday with
the Doctor, we went into a house to get warm and while we were there we
heard a little girl crying as though her heart would break. The little
girl had broken the wheel of her toy bear and I wish you would get the
boys to go over and fix it for her. She’s a child who hasn’t many toys.”

“I don’t see how we can spare the time just now, for we have eleven
clothes pins to split up into stove wood and—but we’ll do it anyhow!”
said the General, as he saw the tears gathering in the Lady of Fashion’s

“Oh, thank you so much!” and the little lady kissed the General on top
of his bald little head.

That afternoon the General and several of the Teenie Weenie men walked
over to the house where the little girl lived, and had a look at the
broken toy. The bear was a big fellow, and one of the solid wooden
wheels on which he moved about was broken in two.

“The axle is broken, too,” said the Turk, peering under the board on
which the bear stood.

“We’ll have to make some long bolts to hold the wheel together,”
announced the Old Soldier, who had been measuring the broken wheel with
his tiny tape-measure.

[‡Illustration: Bear]

After a great deal of talk and measuring, the little men hurried back to
the shoe house, where they set to work making the bolts and nuts
necessary for mending the broken bear.

The next morning the Teenie Weenie workmen set off for the little girl’s
house, followed by a number of the little people who were curious to see
the bear. As the little girl had been taken out for a walk, the coast
was clear, and the little men started to work at once, while the rest
wandered about examining a doll’s house and many other toys which stood
about the room.

The Teenie Weenies jacked up the bear, fitted in a lead pencil for an
axle, bolted together the broken wheel, and in a short time the little
men had made the toy as good as new.

When the little girl came back from her walk and found the mended toy
she was very happy, and she wondered many, many times just who had fixed
the broken bear.

[‡Illustration: Boy and pencil]


                             THE INVENTION

“I’LL bet that little girl has wondered many times how her bear was
mended,” chuckled the Old Soldier, as he stirred up the fire with a big
darning needle which the little folks used for a poker.

“She must consider it quite a mystery,” said the Lady of Fashion.

“Speaking of mysteries,” cried the Turk, “does anybody know what the
Dunce is up to?”

The Dunce had been locking himself up in his room for the last few days,
in a most mysterious way. He seemed very important and he refused to
answer questions.

“I’ll bet he is building something,” ventured the Cowboy. “He’s been
hammering away all day.”

“I saw him sneaking along this morning with a cork on his shoulder,”
said the Cook.

[‡Illustration: Barrel]

“Well just give him a little time and we’ll find out,” remarked Grandpa,
nodding his head wisely. “He’s swelling up so with importance he’ll have
to tell pretty soon or he will bust.”

Grandpa was right, for that very evening the Dunce arose from his chair
at the teenie weenie supper table and said: “Ladies and gentlemen, I
have just finished a great invention and, if I can find some deep water
near by, I will be glad to show you something astonishing.”

“Three rousing cheers for Thomas Edison Dunce!” shouted the Clown, and
the cheers were given with such a will that the squirrel, who lived near
the shoe house, came running over and looked in the window to see what
the noise was all about.

As the weather was quite cool, the Teenie Weenies thought it would be
wise to try the Dunce’s invention indoors. So it was decided to go to
the big house across the street, where plenty of water could be found in
the bathroom. As soon as breakfast was over the next morning the Teenie
Weenies hurried over to the house and climbed up to the washstand. After
a lot of hard work they got the faucets turned and filled the bowl with
water. The Dunce then took two corks from a big package that the Sailor
had helped him carry, and strapped them tightly to his feet.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen,” shouted the Dunce, “I will show you how
easy it is to walk on water.”

Letting himself down into the water by the chain to the stopper, the
Dunce stepped bravely out toward the center of the bowl. But—as soon as
he let go of the chain he lost his balance and fell over, kersplash,
into the water! The corks, being so light, pulled his feet to the top of
the water, and kept them there, and if the Turk and the Sailor had not
promptly dived in after him the Dunce would probably have been drowned.

“G-G-G-Golly.” spluttered the Dunce, as he sat dripping, but safe, on
the edge of the bowl, “it d-d-didn’t w-wo-work, did it?”

[‡Illustration: Dunce in the water]

The Teenie Weenies had lots of fun teasing the Dunce about walking on
the water, and it was many days before he heard the last of his
wonderful invention.


[‡Illustration: Drum]

                             THE GREAT BALL

THERE was some great secret in the air. For some time there had been
much stir in and about the Teenie Weenie village beneath the rose bush.
There were many secret meetings between the General and the Lady of
Fashion, who seemed to be the leading spirits of it all. The Turk and
the Cook and Gogo, under the direction of the Lady of Fashion, spent
many days in the cellar of a certain house not far from Shoehurst. The
Lovers’ bungalow was closed to all gentlemen callers every afternoon for
several weeks, and it was reported that the little ladies who gathered
there were sewing with might and main.

“By heck, it ’pears to me that there is somethin’ mighty queer goin’ on
’round here,” remarked Grandpa as he shuffled into the Chinaman’s
laundry one afternoon. “Such carryin’s on I haven’t seen for a long

“Allee same muchee slecrets,” said the Chinaman, putting down his tiny
iron and pushing out a chair for his visitor.

“Secrets!” shouted the old man. “Why, bless my soul, the air is full of
’em, and I reckon it’s some of those new fangled ideas of the Lady of
Fashion; she’s always up to somethin’ or t’other.”

“Allee same we fine out if we wait long enough,” laughed the Chinaman.

“Well, I ’spect you’re right,” growled Grandpa, “but we never did have
any carryin’s on like that when I was a youngster.”

It wasn’t long before all the Teenie Weenies knew what the secret was,
for one morning they each received a tiny invitation written neatly in
the dainty hand of the Lady of Fashion.

It was a very formal invitation to a grand ball in the cellar of a
certain house.

There was much excitement among some of the little men, for it was
whispered about that those who attended the ball were supposed to wear
full dress suits and several of the little chaps had none. However, the
Old Soldier, who was quite a good tailor, came to their rescue and
everybody was provided with a dress suit, or “fish and soup suit,” as
Grandpa called them.

The ball was to be the most fashionable thing that ever had been given
in Teenie Weenie land, and all the little folks could hardly wait for
the appointed day.

The ball was to be given on the head of a drum which lay in a cellar not
far from the shoe house. A paper box, which was found in the cellar, was
pulled up beside the drum. Onto it steps were built up to the head of
the drum. By cutting a door in the box it made a wonderful place for the
little guests to leave their wraps, and a curtain, strung across the
center of the box, gave the little ladies a snug place to powder their
tiny noses. The head of the drum made a fine dance floor, and around the
edges comfortable seats were placed.

It took quite a lot of argument to get the Dunce and Gogo to act as
footmen, for they wanted to wear dress suits like the rest, but when
they found out that they were to help the Cook serve the ice cream they
were very willing.

The day of the ball the excited Teenie Weenies started to scrub and
clean themselves many hours before the time set for the party, and a
cleaner set of little folks never was seen.

At 9 o’clock the guests began to arrive and they were received at the
top of the stairs by the Lady of Fashion and the General. Great candles
flooded the place with light, and the Old Soldier, Paddy Pinn, and the
Cowboy furnished music for the dancing.

At first the guests were rather stiff and formal, but the Dunce relieved
the situation by falling down stairs with a tray full of dishes. The
little people laughed right out loud when they saw the Dunce wasn’t
hurt, and from that moment on every one enjoyed themselves as they never
had before.

A wonderful lunch was prepared by the Cook, and the footmen passed
around dainty sandwiches, cocoa, lemonade, and ice cream.

All the Teenie Weenies attended the ball, except Grandpa, who stayed
home and took care of the Lover Twins, and everyone said that the ball
was the greatest event that had ever taken place in the Teenie Weenie
social world.

“We had a wonderfully fine time, Grandpa,” cried the Doctor when the
little folks returned from the ball.

“And we had awful good things to eat,” announced the Dunce. “See, I’ve
brought some home for you,” and the little fellow uncovered a tiny dish
filled with ice cream.

“Once I went to a party,” said Grandpa, dipping into the ice cream. “It
was along in March in forty-nine—” But the little folks were too tired
to listen to the story and they trudged off to bed, leaving the old
gentleman to finish his ice cream and story by himself.

[‡Illustration: Mirror]


                          A MOST UNLUCKY MOUSE

“WELL,” yawned Mr. Mouse, rolling off his soft cotton bed, “I think I’d
better go out and see what I can find for breakfast; we haven’t a bit of
cheese or bread in the house.”

“Now do be careful, dear,” warned Mrs. Mouse, “and please don’t go near
that nasty old trap under the steps.”

“All right, I’ll be careful,” laughed her husband and he hurried down
the long hall which connected their home with a large cellar where all
sorts of good things could usually be found. But on this particular
morning Mr. Mouse found food very scarce and he was forced to climb
about in many places in search of breakfast. While walking along the
edge of a basket he chanced to see some crumbs of bread on the steps
near by, and wishing to make a short cut he decided to leap onto an
empty fruit jar that stood near, and from there onto the steps. He made
a mighty leap onto the jar, but before he could balance himself he
slipped and fell in.

[‡Illustration: Mouse]

His cries for help could not be heard, and it was some time before Mrs.
Mouse, who had been alarmed at his absence, found the poor fellow.

“Oh, dear me! By the great cat’s tail! This is most awful!” exclaimed
Mrs. Mouse, bursting into tears.

[‡Illustration: Jar]

“Go tell the Teenie Weenies!” shouted her husband. “They will come and
help me out.”

Mrs. Mouse ran over to the shoe house, and climbing up the front steps
she rapped so hard that she scratched half the paint off the tiny door.
Between bursts of tears Mrs. Mouse told the Teenie Weenies about her
husband and the little people promised at once to help.

“Dear Mrs. Mouse,” said the Lady of Fashion, trying to comfort the
tearful mouse, “you must calm yourself. You must try to be calm.”

“Great cat’s claws!” exclaimed Mrs. Mouse, “I’d like to see you be calm
with a husband in a fruit jar,” and she burst into another fit of crying
as she hurried back to her imprisoned husband, followed by the Teenie

The Teenie Weenies quickly put up a ladder which they had brought with
them, and the Doctor was soon lowered into the jar, where he found the
poor mouse had two badly sprained legs. The General ordered the big
windlass brought up, and when a derrick had been built on top of the
fruit jar out of three strong clothespins the injured mouse was bundled
into the biggest teenie weenie tablecloth and pulled out.

As it was late the Teenie Weenies decided to make the poor mouse as
comfortable as possible, for it was quite a long way to the mouse’s
home, and they thought that after a night’s rest he could stand the trip
with less pain.

[‡Illustration: Clothespin]

The little men made him a soft bed under the cellar stairs, and after he
had eaten a Welsh rarebit, which the Cook brought to him, he fell into a
sound sleep with Mrs. Mouse sitting watchfully by his side.

“We’ll be over early in the morning and take your husband home,” said
the General, and the Teenie Weenies started back to the shoe house, for
it was fast growing dark.

[‡Illustration: Soup]


                        MRS. MOUSE ASKS A FAVOR

IT WAS quite late when the Teenie Weenies arrived at the shoe house, and
it was almost nine o’clock when the little people had finished their

“Well, we’d better all get to bed,” said the General, pushing his chair
back from the table, “for we have got to be out bright and early in the
morning and take Mr. Mouse back to his home.”

Gogo and the Turk helped the Cook wash up the supper dishes, and half an
hour later every single Teenie Weenie was sleeping peacefully in his
teenie weenie bed.

The Teenie Weenies had been asleep only a short time when they were
awakened by a loud squeaking and scratching at the front door.

“Who dat?” cried Gogo, putting his head out one of the tiny windows.

“Its me,” answered Mrs. Mouse. “Oh dear me.”

“What’s the trouble?” asked the General, joining Gogo at the window.

“Oh gracious me,” wailed Mrs. Mouse, “I’m scared half out of my senses,
for I’m afraid that old cat that lives next door might get in the
cellar, and to think what would happen to my poor crippled husband just
frightens me half out of my wits.”

“We’ll not desert you, madam,” said the General kindly. “We’ll come over
immediately and take your husband home.”

The Teenie Weenies soon dressed themselves, and Gogo hurried over to the
hospital to call the Doctor.

“Hadn’t we better take along one of the wagons?” asked the General, when
the Teenie Weenie physician arrived.

“A wagon wouldn’t do,” answered the Doctor. “We could never take Mr.
Mouse home in a wagon. Why, it would jar the poor mouse’s injured legs
until he couldn’t stand the pain.”

“Great grief!” cried the General, “how in the name of ripe cherries are
we going to move him?”

“Very simple matter,” said the Doctor. “We can carry him in a hammock,
which we can make out of a sheet or tablecloth. This can be hung on a
pole and we can carry him on our shoulders.”

“I know where there’s a pole that will be just the thing,” shouted the
Turk. “Come on, Gogo, and we’ll get it.”

The two Teenie Weenies hurried away in the darkness and presently they
returned with a long handled paint brush.

The Cook brought out an old tablecloth and the little men set out for
the cellar where the poor mouse lay.

It was dark, but the little fellows found their way without trouble, for
Teenie Weenies can see almost as well as owls in the dark and in a short
time they arrived safe and sound.

[‡Illustration: Stretcher for the bird]

The injured mouse was soon put into the tablecloth and the ends were
made fast to the brush handle. Six of the strongest Teenie Weenies were
chosen to carry the mouse and they gently lifted the brush handle to
their shoulders. The Teenie Weenies moved off carefully towards the
mouse’s home, which lay at the far end of the cellar.

The Dunce walked at the side of the hammock and carried the mouse’s long
tail over his shoulder, in order to keep it from dragging on the floor,
for the poor fellow’s spirits were mighty low and his tail would drag.

The mouse was carried through a hole in a brick wall, which was the
entrance to his home, and laid gently on a bed of soft cotton. The Lady
of Fashion helped Mrs. Mouse nurse her husband back to health and the
Doctor called almost every day, while the Cook made all sorts of dainty
dishes for the invalid.


                        THE SCOTCHMAN GOES SOUTH

THE Doctor had been very busy for some time. First the mouse, who had
fallen into the fruit jar, needed a great deal of attention. The mouse
lived quite a distance from the hospital and the Doctor called on him
once a day for two weeks. Then a squirrel fell sick and the Doctor had
to call on him for several days. The twins had the mumps and the
Scotchman complained of the rheumatism.

The Scotchman’s trouble caused the Doctor considerable thought. He
worried over it for some time and then decided to take the matter up
with the General. Taking his tall hat from its peg behind the office
door he hurried over to the shoe house.

“General,” he said as he stepped into the teenie weenie library and
closed the door softly, “I’d like to speak to you for a few minutes.”

“Go right ahead, Doc,” said the General, throwing aside his work.

“It’s about the Scotchman,” said the Doctor, dropping into a teenie
weenie rocking chair. “Scotty was troubled with rheumatism in his legs
last winter, and the pain has started again this fall.”

“It’s all on account of his wearing those short kilt skirts, and going
around in his bare knees,” cried the General anxiously.

[‡Illustration: Teenie Weenie on bird]

“Yes, I know it is,” answered the Doctor. “I’ve tried to get him to wear
trousers during the winter weather, but he will not do it. So, he’s got
to go south to spend the winter, where there’s no cold weather, or he’ll
be sick.”

[‡Illustration: Standing around]

“How in the world will he ever get down south?” asked the General.

“Oh, I’ve fixed that up all right,” said the Doctor. “You know our
friends, the birds, always go south for the winter?”

“Yes,” nodded the General.

“Well, I was talking to a bird this morning, and she told me that she
was starting south in a few days. I told her about our Scotchman, and
she said that she would be glad to take him along. She said that he
could ride on her back. She promised to look after him, and said she
would bring him north again in the spring.”

The General thought the plan a good one, and Scotty was told to pack his
grip, and be ready to go by the end of the week.

The Teenie Weenies were greatly excited over the news. The Lady of
Fashion mended all the Scotchman’s clothes, and made him three tiny new
shirts for the trip. The Chinaman washed everything he had that could be
washed, starched and ironed his new shirts beautifully, and the others
did all they could to make him comfortable and happy.

“Oh my,” said the Dunce, when he heard the news, “I wish I had
rheumatism, too, so I could go along.”

The Teenie Weenies were up at the first break of day the morning that
the Scotchman was to go. At the promised hour the bird flew up to the
shoe house and lighted on the lawn.

“All aboard for Dixie,” cried the bird, and the Teenie Weenies all
swarmed out with the Scotchman among them.

“Here,” shouted the Cook, running out with a big, neat package. “Here’s
your lunch. I put in all the things you like best.”

“Jimminie,” muttered the Dunce, as he hungrily watched the lunch being
forced into the Scotchman’s already overflowing grip, “I just do wish I
was a-goin’!”

“We’ll send your trunk to you by mail,” shouted the Cowboy as the
Scotchman climbed up on the back of the bird.

“All right,” cried Scotty. “Thanks and good-by to everybody.”

The bird spread her wings and gently rose from the ground. The Teenie
Weenies stood shouting good-bys, and waving hands and handkerchiefs,
till bird and Scotchman were lost to sight in the blue sky overhead.

[‡Illustration: Scotchman’s suitcase]


                           FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

“F-f-f-f-f-fire! F-f-f-fire!” shouted the excited Dunce, as he dashed up
to the shoe house, gasping for breath.

“Where? What?” cried the General popping his head out of the front door.

“Over t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-to th-th-th-th-th-th—”

“Great guns!” shouted the General, throwing up his hands in despair.
“The house or whatever it is will burn down before you are able to tell
us where the fire is. Out with it. Where is the fire? Quick!”

“It’s it’s over t-t-t-t-to th-th-th-th-the Lovers’ house,” gasped the
Dunce, just as the Teenie Weenie fire engine and hook and ladder dashed
up to the shoe house.

“To the Lovers’ house,” cried the General as he jumped onto the running
board of the fire engine.

The little engine fairly flew over the melting snow and it nearly fell
over as it skidded dangerously around a piece of paving brick which lay
in its path. Presently the fire department arrived at the Lovers’
bungalow, where they found clouds of smoke pouring out of the cracks
around the back door and kitchen windows.

As Mr. and Mrs. Lover had locked up and gone with the Doctor to visit a
sick mouse near by, it was found necessary to break in the back door,
and soon a stream of water was thrown into the smoky kitchen.

[‡Illustration: Fire!]

The Chinaman was ironing one of the General’s shirts when he heard the
news of the fire, and in the excitement he ran over to the Lovers’
house, carrying the hot iron he had been using at the time.

The excited Dunce climbed up onto the roof, and if it hadn’t been for
Gogo he would have chopped a hole through the roof.

“What you-all goin’ to do with dat ax?” asked the little colored lad as
he watched the Dunce hurry up the ladder.

“Gonna chop a hole in the roof,” answered the Dunce. “You’ve always got
to do that; they always chop a hole in the roof when there’s a fire.”

“But there is no fire in the roof,” cried Gogo. “It’s down in the

“Makes no difference,” said the Dunce; “you always have to chop a hole
in the roof.” And if Gogo hadn’t grabbed the ax from the Dunce’s hand
the foolish fellow would have done a lot of damage with it.

Almost a teacupful of water was thrown into the tiny kitchen and it did
more damage than the fire, for really all that burned was a bean, which
Mrs. Lover had put on the stove to cook, and which had boiled dry.


                        THE DUNCE TAKES A TUMBLE

“CRICKETY!” exclaimed the Dunce as he dropped into a chair before the
Teenie Weenie fireplace. “Since the Scotchman left it’s as dull around
here as a lady’s pocket knife,” and the little fellow blinked mournfully
into the fire.

[‡Illustration: Lady sews]

“What’s wrong, Dunce?” asked the Lady of Fashion, looking up from her

“Ah, I want to take a walk or somethin’ and everybody is busy or

“Why don’t you get Gogo to go along? He always likes to take a walk,”
smiled the little lady.

“Ah, he an’ the Cowboy an’ the Turk are buildin’ a fly trap over at the
tool house. The Sailor and the Indian are helpin’ the Cook get a spoiled
potato out of the cellar. Paddy Pinn, the Doctor, the General and the
Old Soldier are havin’ a meetin’ at the hospital and the Clown and the
Poet are out in the back yard talkin’ nonsense with a sparrow,” growled
the Dunce.

“I’d love to take a walk today, but I promised to mend this dress for
Mrs. Lover and it has to be finished by four o’clock, as she and Mr.
Lover and the Twins are invited over to the squirrel’s house for dinner.
Why don’t you go over to the laundry and try Chuck and Zip? Maybe one of
them would like to take a walk.”

“Chink!” shouted the Dunce, “I never thought about the Chinaman and
Zip,” and jumping up he hurried over to the old tea pot, where he found
Zip toasting his shins before the fire.

The Chinaman had just gone over to the hospital to deliver some shirts
to the Doctor, but Zip was ready for a walk, and in a few minutes he
slipped on his sweater and the two Teenie Weenies set off together.

There was one place the Teenie Weenies loved to visit best of all and
that was any big house where big people lived, for there were always so
many big and wonderful things to see.

The two little fellows made their way straight to the nearest big house,
and crawling under the door they began to investigate the place.

“Let’s crawl up on that,” said the Dunce, pointing to a shelf high above
their heads, “and maybe we can find somethin’ good to eat.”

After a hard climb the two Teenie Weenies landed on the shelf, but they
found nothing but glass fruit jars, which towered above their heads.

“S-S-S-Say, Zip!” said the Dunce as he nodded his head in the direction
of one of the jars, “that jar hasn’t got any top on it and there are
pickled peaches in it. I’ve just been thinkin’ that we could get up on
the shelf above and you could hold a string while I slid down into the
jar and got some of the fruit.”

[‡Illustration: Slide down the string]

After a long hunt the two Teenie Weenies found a piece of string, and
climbing up to the shelf the Dunce started to slide down into the jar.
He got nearly half way down when the string snapped and the little chap
dropped with a loud splash into the juice.

Poor Zip was scared half out of his wits and ran off for help as fast as
his legs would carry him. He found three of the Teenie Weenies in the
tool house, and grabbing up a piece of rope they followed the little
fellow at top speed.

When they climbed up onto the shelf they all burst out with laughter,
for the Dunce was a funny sight, standing on a pickled peach with the
juice dripping off the end of his nose.

The Cowboy threw a rope to the Dunce and the rest of the Teenie Weenies
soon pulled him to safety.

“S-S-S-Say,” gasped the Dunce, rubbing the juice out of his eyes, “don’t
t-t-t-tell the General. He’d give me an awful scolding for getting into
this mess.”

“Well, you know that it’s not right to go meddling into things,” said
the Cowboy, “but if you promise not to try anything like this again,
we’ll not tell on you.”

“I’ll promise,” answered the Dunce, “bu-bu-bu-but look at my clothes,
they are spoiled.”

“Me fix that all right,” cried Zip. “Me take you to laundry and wash
clothes for you.”

Taking a roundabout way so they would not be seen, the Dunce and Zip
soon reached the laundry, where the Dunce stripped to the skin and
crawled into the Chinaman’s bed, while Zip washed and dried the soiled

[‡Illustration: Peach jar]

“They still smell a little of the pickled peaches,” said the Dunce, as
he put on his clothes.

“Your clothes not smell much like peach,” said Zip, sniffing at the
Dunce. “Nobody notice him.”

As it was nearly supper time, the Dunce hurried over to the shoe house,
and when he drew his chair up to the tiny dinner table the Lady of
Fashion looked suspiciously at him.

“Something smells funny,” remarked the little lady.

“Smells sort of like pickled peaches,” chuckled the Cowboy, winking at
the Turk.

The poor Dunce turned as red as a cranberry and he was most
uncomfortable for a few minutes, but fortunately the talk turned to
other matters and he felt very much relieved.

While he ate his supper the Dunce made up his mind that he would never
enter another pickle jar and to his credit let it be said that he has
strictly kept his word.

[‡Illustration: Dunce washing his clothes]



AFTER his experience in the pickle jar the Dunce made a resolution to
try to be good whenever he went into a big house. But the busy little
fellow couldn’t keep out of mischief, and it wasn’t long before he got
into trouble again. He didn’t really mean to be naughty, for he was a
most kind hearted little chap, but being so full of life and so curious
he simply couldn’t be quiet.

He loved to look into everything he saw, and being a good climber he
wanted to crawl over everything. The little people had been skating all
morning and they had stopped at a house, on their way home, to warm
themselves. The Dunce had gone prowling about the place and had found a
child’s play room with many wonderful toys in it which he wished his
friends to see.

“Jimminie Christmas!” he shouted, “there’s building blocks and dolls,
chairs and tables and everything! Come on in!”

The Teenie Weenies followed the Dunce to a nursery where they found all
sorts of pretty toys. The little folks enjoyed themselves for some time
looking at the many playthings, but the thing they liked most was a
beautiful arch or house made out of building blocks.

Of course, the Dunce had to climb to the very top of the house, where he
sat shouting at the Teenie Weenies below.

[‡Illustration: Dunce falling down]

“Jinks!” he cried, “you get a dandy view up here; I can see way over to
the other side of the room.”

“You’d better come down,” warned the Doctor. “The first thing you know
you’ll fall off and break your foolish neck.”

At this moment the Clown, who had been balancing himself on a spool,
suddenly slipped and went crashing into the house.

“Run for your lives!” screamed the Cook, as the house toppled forward.
One of the small boys, who had started to climb up the house, clung
screaming to the column and the Dunce gave a mighty leap off the top,
while those who were on the floor ran with all their might.

The house came crashing down and it was the luckiest thing in the world
that no one was badly hurt. Outside of being badly scared and pretty
well shaken up the small boy and Dunce were none the worse for their

“This is a fine pickle,” said the General. “Now we’ll have to get
pulleys and ropes and build this house up again just as we found it.”

[‡Illustration: Boy with nail]

The Teenie Weenies hurried home for the necessary tools and it took
fully four hours of hard work to build the house again just as they had
found it. The little folks did the work so well that the child who had
first built the house never suspected for a moment what had happened to

That night Rufus Rhyme wrote a verse about the Dunce’s fall. It was
called “Humpty Dumpty Dunce,” and here it is just as the Poet set it

    Twenty times a day or more, the Dunce goes tumbling on the floor,
    He must be made of iron and rocks to stand so many bumpy knocks.


                        THE ARMY IS PUT TO ROUT

THE old derby hat which the Teenie Weenies used as a school house was
also used as an armory. The second floor was given over to the army and
here the little soldiers drilled every Wednesday night.

Their tiny guns and uniforms were kept in little cases which stood
around the room. The uniforms were spotless and the tiny guns shone as
bright as the new moon.

About four times a year the General ordered the army out for a practice
march. “It toughens the men up and makes better soldiers out of them,”
he said, and most of the little soldiers seemed to like the experience.

One morning a tiny paper was pasted on the bulletin board and this is
what it said, just as it was written by the General:

                          SPECIAL NOTICE
                Thursday morning at eight o’clock every
              enrolled member of the army will meet at the
              armory for a practice march to the big woods
              and back.
                             The General,
                           Commander in chief of the
                               Teenie Weenie army.

“Ah, crickety!” growled the Dunce, when he had read the notice. “It’s
too cold to go marchin’ around in the snow.”

“It won’t hurt you any,” said Paddy Pinn, who was standing near. “It’s
good for you—that’s what it is—it’s good for you.”

“It may be good for me all right,” answered the Dunce, “but it would be
much better for me to be sittin’ in front of the fire in weather like

On Thursday morning the little men gathered at the armory promptly at
eight o’clock and when they had slipped into their uniforms the General
stepped onto a little platform, at one side of the room, and made a

“Men,” he began, “while we get a great deal of good drilling in the
armory once a week, it is quite necessary for us to get out of doors
occasionally. We need the long marches to keep the army in good shape,
for we never know just when it may be necessary to tackle a hard task
and it is very wise to be prepared.”

The soldiers formed in line in front of the school house and when the
command was given the little army swung off, led by the General, who
looked every inch a commander, sitting astride a big gray mouse.

As the little army trudged along through the snow they were suddenly
thrown into a panic by the unexpected appearance of a huge rabbit, who
popped into view over a snow bank directly in their path.

The appearance of the rabbit was so sudden the little army were
frightened half out of their wits, and most of the soldiers turned and
ran, in spite of the commands of the Old Soldier.

The mouse, on which the General rode, reared up on his hind feet, and
the General was tumbled off into the snow.

“Well! Well! This is rather unusual!” cried the rabbit. “This is the
first time I ever saw anybody run away from me; I’m usually the one that

The rabbits voice was so pleasant the Teenie Weenies felt quite sure he
would not harm them and soon they were gathered all about the big
fellow, feeling his soft fur and asking many questions.

“Great grief!” exploded the General, picking himself up and brushing the
snow off his coat. “That’s a fine way to come bouncing onto an army. You
came on us so quietly and suddenly you gave us a great start.”

“I have to go along quietly,” said the rabbit. “I have to sneak around,
for there are so many hunters and dogs, who are always on the lookout
for us poor rabbits. This spring I had thirty-three sons and daughters
and now—now I am a widower with only seventeen children. Only last night
I had to call in old Doc. Woodchuck to take some shot out of my oldest
boy’s skin.”

“Ah, Mr. Rabbit,” cried the Poet, “your sad story has given me an idea
for a verse. While you were talking to my friends here I have been
scribbling and with your kind permission I’ll recite what I’ve written.”

“I would be delighted to hear it if it isn’t too long,” said the rabbit.
“You see, I’ve got to always be on the jump; can’t stay very long in one

[‡Illustration: Rabbit in the snow]

“This verse is very short,” said the Poet. “In fact, it is no longer
than its name. It’s called ‘The Tale of a Rabbit.’”

                  “The rabbit’s life is full of strife,
                     His days are short and few;
                   For dodging shot becomes his lot
                     From the cradle to the stew.”

“A very truthful and beautiful piece of poetry,” said the rabbit,
brushing a tear from his furry cheek. “I hope you will excuse me now,
for I must hurry home and call the roll and see whether any more of my
children are missing.”

The Teenie Weenie soldiers watched the rabbit hop away and then they
fell into line and continued their march to the big woods.

Paddy Pinn and the Cook had gone ahead of the army with food for the
soldiers. They drove one of the army wagons, which was pulled by a team
of mice, and when the hungry little soldiers arrived they found a
thimble full of hot soup and other good things to eat.

After the men had rested for a time they set out on the trip home, where
they arrived safely, a tired but happy and rosy, cheeked army.


                             COUGHING SYRUP

“GENERAL,” said the Doctor, walking into the Teenie Weenie sitting room
where the General sat before the fireplace, “I need some help.”

“What’s the trouble, Doc? Has the Dunce been getting into trouble

[‡Illustration: A plate]

“No,” answered the Doctor, “that bump he got the other day when he
tumbled off the block house ought to keep him steady for a while,” and
the Doctor drew up a chair and sat down, while the General threw several
matches onto the fire.

“What I wanted to tell you was this,” continued the Doctor. “Several of
the children have a bad cough and—”

“I knew it, I knew it,” cried the Old Soldier. “I knew they’d get their
feet wet. They were over in the garden yesterday, sliding on some ice in
a saucer, and I told them that ice was dreadfully thin and it would
break, and they’d slip in and get wet and catch their death of cold.”

“You’re right,” said the Doctor, “they got their feet wet, caught bad
colds, and I haven’t a bit of cough syrup in the house.”

“I know where there’s some,” cried the Clown, who had been listening to
the conversation. “The Dunce and I were looking for some pills to use as
bowling balls, and we saw a big bottle of cough syrup on the bathroom
window sill of that house next door.”

“We’ll go over and get some for you, Doc,” said the General. “It will do
us good to have the exercise.”

Glad of an excuse to get out, the Teenie Weenies were soon on their way
after the cough syrup.

The window sill on which the bottle of syrup stood was very high, but
the Clown and the Cowboy soon climbed to the top. Lowering a piece of
thread that two Teenie Weenies had carried between them for just such
use, they soon pulled the rest of the little people up beside them.

[‡Illustration: Teenie Weenie and spoon]

“Now,” said the Turk, who had been examining the bottle of syrup, “four
or five of you fellows get hold and tip the bottle, and I’ll hold the
spoon somebody has thoughtfully left beside it, while you pour out a

“Goodness gracious,” cried the Lady of Fashion, “we don’t need a whole

“Well, it says on the bottle, one teaspoonful for children,”’ said the

“So it does, so it does,” cried the little lady, as she stood on her tip
toes and carefully read the label on the bottle.

“You see I’m right, don’t you?” asked the Turk. “The Doctor told me to
read carefully what it said on the bottle, and to bring about three
doses. It says one teaspoonful is a dose for children, so we’ll take
about three spoonfuls.”

[‡Illustration: Bottle]

“But that does seem an awful lot of medicine,” said the Lady of Fashion

“It makes no difference,” announced the Turk, “I’m going according to

The Teenie Weenies poured out three spoonfuls of the syrup, which filled
half an English walnut shell.

“Mercy on us,” cried the Doctor, when he saw the Teenie Weenies carrying
the heavy load of syrup up the walk to the shoe house, “you don’t bathe
in cough syrup.”

“Well,” muttered the Turk, “I went according to directions.”

“The directions are all right for big children,” laughed the Doctor,
“but ours are Teenie Weenie children.”

“Oh, my,” exclaimed the Turk. “I never thought of that!”

“Well we can put it away and keep it,” said the Doctor, “for it’s likely
we’ll need it again before the winter is over.”

[‡Illustration: Teenie Weenies falling off can]

The Doctor took out enough of the syrup to give the children each
several doses and the rest was put in the half of a large English
walnut. It was then carried to the cellar, covered tightly and put away
for future use.

Of course the Dunce had to get into trouble while the rest of the Teenie
Weenies were getting the syrup.

He climbed to the top of a talcum powder box, which stood on the window
sill, and when he tried to pull the Chinaman up the foolish fellow
slipped and tumbled off. He nearly fell on top of Zip, but that little
chap managed to get safely out of the way.

The Dunce was badly shaken up by the fall and he almost knocked out one
of his teenie weenie teeth.

“That’s the last time I’ll ever try climbing onto a talcum powder box,”
he said as he felt the tooth which had been bumped. “They’re so awful

[‡Illustration: Two Teenie Weenies carrying water]


                     THE CLOWN HAS A NARROW ESCAPE

“WELL, we’re goin’ to have a change in the weather,” announced Grandpa,
as he peered out the tiny sitting room window at the sky.

“What makes you think so?” asked the Turk, who was playing checkers with
the Cook.

“That toe of mine is hurting,” answered the old man, “and that’s a sure
sign there’s going to be a change,” and with this prophecy Grandpa
shuffled upstairs to bed.

Grandpa was quite right about the change in the weather, for it grew
cold in the night, and the Lady of Fashion, who had to get up about
midnight to give several of the children their cough syrup, noticed that
the snow was falling.

In the morning the ground was covered with almost an inch of soft white
snow and the little people shivered as they slipped on their tiny

After breakfast, several of the Teenie Weenies went out to play in the
snow, but most of the little people were contented to sit before the
warm fire.

“This snow storm reminds me of an experience of mine in forty-nine,”
said Grandpa, who pulled his chair so near the fire he almost scorched
his shins. “I was cuttin’ up an old ruler for fire wood one afternoon,

“HELP! HELP!” screamed a voice from the outside.

“What’s that?” cried the General, jumping to his feet.

Suddenly the front door burst open, and a frightened Teenie Weenie boy
sprang into the room.

“Quick—help,” panted the small boy. “The Clown has broken through the
ice, and—and he—he can’t get out! Quick—help!”

“Land sakes,” cried the General, “where’s the Clown!”

“He’s over in the chicken yard, in a pan of wa-water,” gasped the small

With all speed the Teenie Weenies made their way to the chicken yard. As
they hurried up to the pan they could hear the Clown faintly crying for
help. The Turk and the Cook boosted the Sailor up to the top of the pan,
where he caught on, and pulled himself over the edge. The poor Clown’s
head was only just out of the water, and he was holding fast to the edge
of the ice.

“Throw me a board or a match, or something strong,” shouted the Sailor
to the others, waiting below. At once the little people began to dig
about in the snow for the desired board.

“Oh dear,” cried the Dunce, “if we only had a straw! I’ve always heard
that a drowning man catches at a straw!”

“Here,” shouted the Old Soldier. “Here’s a burnt match, but it’s frozen
to the ground!”

The Turk grabbed the match and with a mighty heave he pulled it free and
threw it up to the waiting Sailor. The Sailor carefully pushed the match
out across the hole, and with its help he soon pulled the half frozen
Clown from the water.

[‡Illustration: Frozen bowl]

The poor fellow was carried quickly to the shoe house, where he was
given a hot bath, wrapped up in a warm comforter and set before the
fireplace. The Cook made cocoa for the Clown and brought it to him
steaming hot.

“J-J-J-Jimminie f-f-f-fishhooks,” stuttered the Dunce, as he watched the
Clown sip the delicious cocoa, “I-I-I-I wish I’d have fallen into the
pan so I could get some of that good cocoa.”

“You don’t need to fall into a pan to get some,” laughed the kind
hearted little Cook, “I’ll bring you some,” and in a few seconds he
handed the Dunce a steaming cup.

“Crickety, but this is good,” cried the Dunce, as he sat down beside the
Clown. “J-J-J-Jimminie, I’m glad you fell into that pan.”

“So am I,” answered the Clown, as he drained his cup.

“Now I want you to tell me how this happened,” said the General when the
Clown had finished his cocoa.

“Why, a couple of us were skating,” said the Clown, “and all at once the
ice cracked, and—and I fell in!”

“Now then, I don’t want to hear of any more skating in pans,” said the
General, shaking his finger at the open-mouthed Teenie Weenies, standing

“Yes, sir,” several meekly answered.

“That is,” continued the General, “unless they are shallow pie pans, out
of which you could wade. Remember!”

“We will,” promised the little people.


                        A SQUIRREL TO THE RESCUE

THE weather continued cold for several days and the Teenie Weenies
enjoyed almost a solid week of skating. An old dripping pan, which stood
under a water spout at the corner of a big house near by, made a
wonderful place to try out their tiny skates.

The ice was fully an inch thick, and as it was frozen solid it made a
safe place to skate. The little people had a fine time on the smooth
ice, but at the end of the week a thaw set in and they were forced to
walk for their exercise.

“I’d advise you people to all go out and take a long walk, for I’m going
to have a dandy dinner and I want you to have good appetites so you’ll
enjoy it,” said the Cook Sunday morning as he stood tying on his apron
in the Teenie Weenie dining room door.

“Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you going to-to-to have for dinner?” asked the Dunce.
“A baked prune?”

“Well, here’s the menu,” grinned the Cook. “Potato soup, planked minnow,
mashed peas and grape salad. For dessert we’ll have a date stuffed with
chopped nuts and whipped cream.”

“Oh, good, good!” shouted the Dunce, catching the Lady of Fashion around
the waist and dancing about the room.

In a few minutes the Teenie Weenies bundled themselves into their warm
muffs, sweaters and mittens and started out on a long walk.

“Let’s go down and see if the creek is frozen over,” said the General.
“I haven’t been down that way for a long time, and it will make a nice
walk for us.”

There was quite a lot of snow on the ground, but as it was rather solid
the little people were able to walk on it without much trouble, and in a
short time they stood on the bank of the creek. For some time the Teenie
Weenies stood watching the huge cakes of ice as they floated down the
stream. In order to get a better view, the Lady of Fashion and the
Doctor stepped out on a piece of ice which had not been broken away from
the bank, and, to the horror of the little people, the piece of ice on
which they stood snapped off and floated out into the surging stream.

It was impossible to swim among the sharp cakes of ice, as a Teenie
Weenie would have been ground to pieces, for some of the cakes of ice
were as big as soda crackers.

“Oh, jimminie crickets!” cried the frightened Dunce. “The Lady of
Fashion and the Doctor will be drowned and then they won’t get any of
that go-go-good dinner the Cook is getting ready for us,” and the poor
Dunce burst into tears.

[‡Illustration: Frozen stream]

“Hold on a minute, Doc!” shouted a voice, and to the astonishment of the
frightened Teenie Weenies a squirrel ran up a bush which hung over the
stream. Hanging by his front feet, the squirrel swung his body down over
the stream so that his bushy tail was only an inch or two from the
water, and as the Lady of Fashion and the Doctor floated by he yelled to
the Doctor to catch on.

Catching the Lady of Fashion about the waist, the Doctor grabbed the
tail and the squirrel quickly pulled the two Teenie Weenies up to the
bush, down which they safely crawled to the bank.

The Teenie Weenies were not the only ones who enjoyed a good dinner that
day, for the little people presented the squirrel and his wife with four
hickory nuts, five English walnuts, and a half dozen almonds for his
bravery in rescuing the Lady of Fashion and the Doctor.

[‡Illustration: Walnuts]


[‡Illustration: Hat house]

                          A CHRISTMAS PRESENT

ON CHRISTMAS morning the Dunce was first to jump out of bed. While he
was getting into his teenie weenie clothes he happened to glance out of
the tiny window.

“G-G-G-G-Great c-c-c-cat f-f-f-fish!” he yelled, and his eyes nearly
popped out of his head, for on the walk before the school house stood a
huge box.

“Get up, J-J-Jerry,” cried the Dunce, pulling the bed clothes from the
sleeping Clown. “There’s a C-C-C-Christmas p-p-p-present out in the
front yard and it’s as big as, as, as a—jimminie—it’s as big as
everything,” and the Dunce dashed out of the house at top speed.

All the little folks had been awakened by the noisy Dunce and in a few
minutes they came pouring out of the shoe house like a stream of water.

“It’s got a stamp on it and everything,” shouted the excited Dunce, who
had crawled up onto the box. “It’s addressed to us too. The mail man
must have left it. Hooray!” and the Dunce danced in such a comical way
that all the little folks nearly burst from laughing.

Some kind person had sent the little people a pound box of candy and
they were too excited to eat their breakfast, so the General told them
they could open the box at once.

It took a great deal of labor for the little folks to cut away the paper
and remove the box cover.

“Oh WHILLIKER!” howled the Dunce when the cover had been removed, “it’s
full of chocolates and bon bons, and great cats’ eyes, there’s a stick
of peppermint candy.”

“I don’t know where in the world we’re going to store all this candy,”
said the General. “There’s enough to last us a year.”

“You can store it in my bed room,” cried the Dunce, “only leave just
enough room for me to sleep in!”

“You mean, leave enough room so you can eat yourself to death,” laughed
the Cowboy.

“We can put a little of it in the cellar,” said the Cook. “Maybe two or
three pieces.”

“There’s room for four or five pieces in the tool house,” suggested the
Old Soldier, “and I think we can put the rest in the upper floor of the
school house.”

It was decided to store as much as possible in the school house and the
little men began carrying the candy in as fast as they could.

“We can’t put any more in here,” shouted the Old Soldier, who came
running out of the school house after several pieces had been stored
away. “We’ve stored eight chocolates and a stick of peppermint upstairs
and the beams have begun to bend. The floor will come tumbling down if
we put another piece up there.”

Other places had to be found to store the candy and when the last piece
had been put away there wasn’t a bit of vacant space left anywhere in
the little houses under the rose bush.

“Great grief!” exclaimed the General, when the last piece had been
tucked away, “we’ll have enough candy to last us the rest of our natural

“Don’t you worry about that, General,” cried the Dunce. “I can eat a
whole chocolate myself.”

After the Teenie Weenies had eaten their Christmas dinner, a whole
chocolate was placed on the table and every one of the little people was
allowed to eat all the candy he wanted.

The Dunce ate himself sick, but the next morning he was ready for more
and the General made up his mind that the candy would not last as long
as he first thought it would.

Several of the candies were stuffed with nuts and these the Teenie
Weenies gave to their friend the squirrel, but most of it they kept for
themselves and several pieces are still stored, this very minute, in the
little houses under the rose bush.


                      MOTHER BUNCH DRINKS A TOAST

“WELL my toe is on the rampage again,” announced Grandpa, several
evenings after the rescue of the Doctor and the Lady of Fashion.
“Whenever that old toe gets to hurtin’, just look out for a change in
the weather. It’ll be mighty cold tomorrow or I’m no weather prophet.”

“I hope it gets cold enough to freeze the ice again. That’s what I do,”
cried Paddy Pinn, who was fond of skating, and had some new racing
skates that he was anxious to try.

“I remember once in forty-nine,” said Grandpa, “when the ice was frozen
about six inches deep. I had to—” But he got no further with his story,
for the Teenie Weenies started upstairs to bed and the old gentleman
soon followed their example.

The next morning the weather was very cold and the Teenie Weenies were
quite happy to stay indoors where it was warm and comfortable.

The Chinaman was braver than the rest, for that little chap wrapped
himself up good and warm and set out to visit a mouse that lived near
the rosebush.

“Hey, there, you Chinaman!” shouted a voice, as the little fellow
hurried past a chicken yard.

The Chinaman glanced up at a huge chicken head that smiled down at him
through the slats on the fence, and taking off his hat he made a very
polite bow.

“Glood mornings,” said the little chap. “It muchee clold mornings.”

“Cold!” exclaimed the old hen, “I should say it was! I feel just like a
feathered icicle and I wish I had a pair of nice warm felt boots for my
feet—they’re as cold as a doorknob.”

“Allee same me muchee sorry and me will give you me muffler,” said the
little fellow, unwinding the tiny scarf from about his neck.

“I’m much obliged, I’m much obliged, but, whistling gizzard, that little
muffler of yours wouldn’t keep my little toe nail warm,” laughed the old
hen. “However, there is something you can do for me which would help me
a great deal.”

“Allee same you tell me and me be muchee glad to help,” cried the

“Well,” said Mother Bunch, for that was the old hen’s name, “I’m as dry
as a Saratoga chip. I haven’t had a drink for three days. There’s a pan
of water in my coop, but it’s froze. I beg your pardon, I mean frozen.
I’ve pecked at the ice with my bill until it’s as sore as an ingrowing
pin feather and I haven’t made a dent in it.”

“Allee same me tell Gleneral and he come up klick and chop hole in ice,”
shouted the Chinaman.

“That’s the idea! That’s the idea!” exclaimed the old hen. “You see the
folks who feed me just throw the corn into the pen and they never look
at the pan of water and of course they never suspect that it’s frozen.
If you’ll tell the General to come over and cut a hole so I can get a
drink you will be doing an old lady a great favor.”

“Me tell’m klick,” cried the Chinaman, and off he ran for the shoe house
as fast as he could.

The Chinaman told his story to the General and a few minutes later a
number of the little people were on their way to Mrs. Bunch’s coop. The
old hen saw the little people coming and she was so excited she sat down
and laid an egg right before the Teenie Weenies.

In just a few minutes the little folks set about cutting a hole in the
ice, and it was quite a hard task, for the water was frozen to the depth
of one Teenie Weenie foot.

“Well, here’s to your health,” said Mother Bunch when the little men had
chopped a hole through the ice, and dipping her big yellow beak into the
cold water she filled her bill and raising her head she let it trickle
down her throat.

The pan which held the old hen’s water had a long handle and the Dunce
thought it great fun to crawl up on the handle and slide down to the
edge of the pan. He did this several times with great success, but
finally failed to catch the edge of the pan and he slid off onto the
ice, and dropped kersplash into the cold water.

He was dragged out by the Turk and was sent home in disgrace, to the
great amusement of the old hen.

Mrs. Bunch presented the egg she laid to the Teenie Weenies for their
kindness, and the little people went home, happy to have such a friendly


 ● Transcriber’s Notes:
    ○ Missing or obscured punctuation was corrected.
    ○ Unbalanced quotation marks were left as the author intended.
    ○ Typographical errors were silently corrected.
    ○ Spelling and hyphenation were made consistent when a predominant
      form was found in this book; otherwise it was not changed.
    ○ Illustrations marked with ‡ were created by the transcriber.
    ○ Text in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_).

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