Title: The Trysting Place - A Farce in One Act
Author: Tarkington, Booth
Language: English
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THE TRYSTING PLACE



  THE TRYSTING PLACE

  _A Farce in One Act_


  _By_
  BOOTH TARKINGTON


  [Illustration]


  New York
  SAMUEL FRENCH
  Publisher
  25 West 45th Street

  London
  SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD.
  Publisher
  26 Southampton St., Strand


  COPYRIGHT, 1923 BY
  D. APPLETON AND COMPANY

  _All rights reserved_


The professional stage rights of this play are reserved by the
Author. The amateur stage rights are held by the Ladies Home Journal.
For permission to produce the play application should be made by
professional producers to Mr. Booth Tarkington, Indianapolis,
Indiana, and by amateur producers to the Editor of the Ladies Home
Journal.


Printed in the United States of America



THE PEOPLE AS THEY COME INTO THE PLAY


MRS. CURTIS, _The Young Woman, twenty-five or perhaps even a little
              older_.

LANCELOT BRIGGS, _The Boy, slim and obviously under twenty_.

MRS. BRIGGS, _his mother, a handsome woman of forty-five or fifty_.

JESSIE, _his sister, a pretty girl of about twenty_.

RUPERT SMITH, _The Young Man, about twenty-five_.

MR. INGOLDSBY, _a man of fifty-five or, possibly, sixty_.

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE, _male and adult_.

[Illustration]



THE TRYSTING PLACE


  _The scene is a room just off the “lounge” of a hotel in the
  country. However, this is not a “country hotel;” but, on the
  contrary, one of those vast and elaborate houses of entertainment
  that affect an expensive simplicity in what is called the colonial
  manner, and ask to be visited--by those financially able to do
  so--in the general interest of health and the outdoor life. The
  wall at the back of the stage is broken only by symmetrically
  spaced pilasters of an ivory color; each of the side walls is
  broken in the same manner; but here the pilasters help to frame two
  rather broad entrances, one at the right and one at the left, and
  beyond these entrances, on both sides, we have glimpses of the two
  corridors that lead to them. There are a few old prints--or new
  prints from old plates--upon the walls; and there are flowering
  plants on stands in the corners. The furniture consists of some
  chintz-covered easy-chairs, a light wicker settee with a chintz
  cushion and a valance that reaches the floor; and there are two
  wicker tables with a vase of jonquils upon each of them. In the
  rear right-hand corner of the room, near the stand of plants, there
  is a tropical-looking chair, wicker, with a back of monstrous
  size--a Philippine Island chair--and in the opposite corner is its
  mate._

  _Dance music is heard from a distant orchestra. Just after the rise
  of the curtain two people come in together from the left--a young
  woman of twenty-five, or perhaps she is even a little older, and
  a slim boy obviously under twenty. She is rather elaborate in her
  afternoon indoor dress, but none the less effectively pretty; he is
  of a scrubbed and sleeked youthfulness, in white trousers, a short
  black coat and dancing shoes; and from the moment of his first
  appearance he is seen to be in an extremity of love. He leans as
  near the young woman as he can; his eyes search her face yearningly
  and without intermission; he caroms into her slightly as they come
  in, and repeats the carom unwittingly. They have evidently just
  come from the dancing floor and are a little flushed; she fans
  herself with her handkerchief and he fans her with his. They are
  heard talking before they enter: “Oh, let’s do find some place to
  sit down!” she is saying; and he, simultaneously: “Oh, wasn’t that
  divine! You dance just simply divinely!” These speeches “bring them
  on.”_


THE YOUNG WOMAN

  Here’s a place we can sit down! (_She immediately drops into a
  chair._)

THE BOY

  Yes, this is a lovely place, where nobody is at all. It’s the only
  quiet place in the hotel: you never see more than two people here at
  a time, because it’s kind of off, like this. That’s why I wanted to
  walk this way. (_Sitting on a lounge and leaning toward her._) Isn’t
  it divine to be in a place where nobody is at _all_?

THE YOUNG WOMAN (_still fanning herself_)

  Why, you and I are here.

THE BOY

  Yes; but I mean nobody else at all. We’re practically all alone,
  practically.

THE YOUNG WOMAN (_laughing as she waves her hand to indicate the
  spacious corridors to the right and left_)

  Alone? Why, there are at least three hundred people in this hotel.

THE BOY

  Yes, but they’re all either outdoors, or dancin’, or havin’
  tea, right now. It’s practically the same as being alone. It
  is--practically, I mean.

THE YOUNG WOMAN

  Yes, I’ve noticed that it was a rather secluded spot myself. (_She
  glances about the room thoughtfully, then turns to him, smiling._)
  Don’t you want to run and dance with some of those pretty young girls
  your own age?

THE BOY (_with pained earnestness_)

  Them? My goodness, no!

THE YOUNG WOMAN

  Oh, but that isn’t normal, is it?

THE BOY

  I’m not normal. I don’t want to be normal.

THE YOUNG WOMAN

  Well, but it would only be natural for you to like those pretty young
  things, so-- Well, _do_ run and dance with one of ’em. Won’t you,
  please?

THE BOY (_interrupting_)

  No. They haven’t got any experience of life. What I like is a woman
  that’s had some experience of life, like you.

THE YOUNG WOMAN

  But at your age--

THE BOY

  Age hasn’t got anything to do with it. The thing that brings a man
  and a woman together, it’s when they have about the same amount of
  experience of life.

THE YOUNG WOMAN (_absently_)

  You think that’s it, Mr. Briggs? (_She looks about the room
  thoughtfully as she speaks._)

MR. BRIGGS (_with intense seriousness_)

  I know it is. I had that feeling the minute I was introduced to you,
  night before last in the lobby--right by the third column beyond the
  office news stand, at a quarter after nine o’clock in the evening.

THE YOUNG WOMAN

  You did?

MR. BRIGGS

  It came over me, and I felt kind of-- (_he swallows_) kind of drawn
  to you, Missuz--Missuz--Missuz-- (_He seems to hesitate somewhat
  emotionally._)

THE YOUNG WOMAN

  My name is Mrs. Curtis. You seem to have forgotten it.

MR. BRIGGS (_swallowing again_)

  I haven’t. I know it’s Curtis. The trouble is, it kind of upsets me
  to call you _Missuz_ Curtis. I thought it was Miss Curtis when I was
  introduced to you. I didn’t know your name was Missuz--Missuz--Missuz
  Curtis till the clerk told me, early the next morning.

MRS. CURTIS (_frowning a little_)

  The clerk told you?

MR. BRIGGS

  Yes. I asked him if he’d noticed whether you’d gone in to breakfast
  yet. He said, “You mean Missuz--Missuz Curtis?” Then I knew you must
  be married. (_He shakes his head ruefully._)

MRS. CURTIS (_smiling_)

  Well?

MR. BRIGGS (_thoughtfully_)

  Well, it can’t be helped.

MRS. CURTIS

  I suppose not.

MR. BRIGGS (_brightening a little_)

  Well, anyhow, I had that--that sort of _drawn_ feeling toward you,
  the way I _would_ get toward a woman that’s had some experience of
  life; but a hotel like this is no place to explain feelings like
  that. You can’t when you’re dancing--not the way you want to--and all
  the rest of the time you had some o’ those _old_ men hangin’ around,
  or else my mother and sister wanted me for something; because a hotel
  like this--why, it’s terrible the way a young man’s mother and sister
  want him to do somep’n for ’em _all_ the time; so this is the first
  chance I’ve had.

MRS. CURTIS (_rather urgently_)

  Don’t you really think you’d better be dancing with some of those
  young things yonder?

MR. BRIGGS (_puzzled_)

  Think I’d _better_ be?

MRS. CURTIS

  Yes; I do really wish you would. Wouldn’t it be a lot more fun than
  explaining something, as you said, to me?

MR. BRIGGS (_hurriedly_)

  No. No, it wouldn’t. I want to explain how I feel about you.

MRS. CURTIS

  Please go and dance, Mr. Briggs. I think it would be _much_ better if
  you--

MR. BRIGGS (_rapidly_)

  No, it wouldn’t. I want to explain how I feel about you, so you’ll
  understand. It’s like this, Missuz (_swallowing again_) Missuz
  Curtis. I never used to think I’d ever get to feeling this way
  about--about somebody that was married, but it--it came over me
  before I knew you _were_ married. I already _was_ feeling this
  way before he said, “You mean--you mean Missuz Curtis?” It’d
  already--(_he swallows_) happened to me before I knew you were a--a
  married woman. (_Shaking his head._) I certainly never _did_ think
  I’d feel this way about a married woman.

MRS. CURTIS

  But I’m not--not as you mean it. I’m a widow, Mr. Briggs.

MR. BRIGGS (_as in a dim perplexity_)

  A wid-- You’re a widow? (_He jumps up suddenly, greatly amazed._) Oh,
  my!

MRS. CURTIS

  What’s the matter?

MR. BRIGGS

  Oh, my!

MRS. CURTIS

  What is it?

MR. BRIGGS

  I guess I’ve got to get used to the idea of it. First I thought you
  weren’t married, and then I was just gettin’ used to the idea that
  you _were_, and now--well, I s’pose it’s a good deal better, your
  bein’ a widow, though, except--except for--

MRS. CURTIS

  Except for?

MR. BRIGGS (_hurriedly_)

  Oh, I didn’t mean except for your _husband_! I didn’t mean your bein’
  a widow was better for-- (_He checks himself and swallows._)

MRS. CURTIS

  Oh!

MR. BRIGGS (_frowning with thought_)

  No. I meant more on account of the way my family treats me. My mother
  and sister--well, to tell the truth, they always seem to think I’m
  about four years old. They can’t seem to _realize_; and when I go and
  tell ’em you’re a _widow_--

MRS. CURTIS

  You think they’ll be interested in hearing it? I haven’t even met
  them.

MR. BRIGGS

  No, but--but of course they’ve been _talkin’_ about you quite a good
  deal.

MRS. CURTIS

  They have?

MR. BRIGGS

  You know how people are in a hotel like this: wondering who everybody
  else _is_, and whether some woman’s some old man’s wife or his
  daughter or just a trained nurse, and all so on. Of course my family
  noticed _you_ right away and then after I _met_ you of course then
  they said a _lot_ more about you. Golly! (_He shakes his head,
  indicating that the comment has been unfavorable._)

MRS. CURTIS

  Oh, indeed!

MR. BRIGGS (_ruefully_)

  They watch me like a hawk, and I know what they’ll say now! When I
  tell ’em you’re a widow, I mean.

MRS. CURTIS

  Do you?

MR. BRIGGS (_shaking his head_)

  I certainly never thought myself I would ever get to feeling this way
  about a widow _either_!

MRS. CURTIS

  Don’t you _really_ think you’d better run and dance with one of
  those--

MR. BRIGGS (_absently_)

  No. (_Turning to her suddenly._) I was goin’ to ask you--well, of
  course, in a--a technical way, so to speak, I mean in a strickly
  technical way, so to speak, I’m not exactly of age yet, and I suppose
  I’d have to get my mother’s consent, because _she’s_ a widow, too,
  and got herself appointed my guardian besides; and the truth is,
  she’s a pretty cold-hearted, bossy kind of a woman, and it’s goin’ to
  be a big difficulty gettin’ her to see this thing right.

MRS. CURTIS

  To see _what_ right?

MR. BRIGGS

  The way I feel about you. I know it’s goin’ to be difficult, because
  I started to talk a little about it last night to my mother and my
  sister--her name’s Jessie--and they behaved--well, they behaved a
  good deal like two fiends.

MRS. CURTIS

  They did?

MR. BRIGGS

  I told ’em they didn’t know you, and they _haven’t_ even _met_ you,
  but they treated me like a--like a mere _jest_; and then they got so
  critical, the way they talked about you, it might be better if they
  didn’t see me with you again for a few days. I can’t stand the way
  they talk after they see me with you.

MRS. CURTIS

  Indeed!

MR. BRIGGS

  Well, what I was saying: I can’t touch my principal till I’m
  twenty-one on account of the way my father went and tied up his will;
  but of course my mother and sister think a good many’ll be after me
  on account of it; but, anyhow, I _have_ got to feeling this way, and
  I know I’ll _never_ get over it, so what I wanted to ask you--well,
  it’s--it’s--(_he swallows_) it’s just this: I know you _are_ a
  widow and everything like that, but would you be willing to--(_he
  swallows_) well, of course I don’t know how long since you lost your
  first husband--

MRS. CURTIS (_incredulously_)

  What! (_She rises._)

MR. BRIGGS

  I mean I--I don’t know how you _would_ feel about gettin’ married
  again yet, even if I didn’t have my own difficulties about it,
  but--but--

MRS. CURTIS (_with increased incredulity_)

  Are you _proposing_ to me, Mr. Briggs?

MR. BRIGGS

  Well--uh--yes. (_Then, looking beyond her down the corridor on the
  right._) Oh, goodness. They watch me like a hawk! Here comes my
  mother! (_Dismayed, he turns to the left._)

MRS. CURTIS (_as he turns_)

  Perhaps it was time!

MR. BRIGGS (_dismally_)

  There’s my sister Jessie!

MRS. CURTIS

  What of it?

MR. BRIGGS (_hastily_)

  I told you they behave like two fiends when they see me with you.
  (_Glancing right and left nervously._) Well, excuse me. (_With
  perfect gravity he kneels at one end of the settee, which is in the
  rear, a little left of “center.”_) It’ll be a good deal better if
  they don’t see me, I expect. (_He promptly crawls under the settee,
  and the valance conceals him entirely. From this invisibility he
  appeals with pathetic urgency in a hoarse whisper_): They’ll prob’ly
  go right on. _Please_ wait! Or--if you _haf_ to go, come _back_!

  (_Mrs. Curtis stands dumbfounded for a moment; and then, controlling
  a tendency to laugh immoderately, she turns to examine a print on
  the left wall as Mr. Briggs’s mother enters from the right. Mrs.
  Briggs is a handsome woman of forty-five or fifty, not now in a
  gracious mood. She comes in decisively, halts, and stares at Mrs.
  Curtis’ back. Then she looks over the room in an annoyed and puzzled
  manner. Mr. Briggs’s sister Jessie comes in from the left. She is a
  pretty girl of about twenty, but her expression is now rather cross.
  Her dress and equipment show that she has just come in from the golf
  course._)

JESSIE (_calling as she comes in_)

  Lancelot! (_She halts, puzzled, and looks inquiringly at her
  mother._) Mamma, where’s Lancelot? I was sure I saw him in here just
  a second ago.

MRS. BRIGGS (_grimly_)

  So was I. (_After looking at each other, they turn their heads
  simultaneously and stare at Mrs. Curtis, who appears to be interested
  in the print._) It’s very odd!

JESSIE

  Yes, very.

  (_The two again look at each other, and at a little distance appear
  to consult telepathically, without any change of expression; then
  they turn once more to look at Mrs. Curtis._)

MRS. BRIGGS

  I beg your pardon, but I’m under the impression that you have met my
  son.

MRS. CURTIS (_turning_)

  Yes?

JESSIE

  Wasn’t he here just now?

MRS. CURTIS

  Yes, he was.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Would you be good enough to tell me, did he leave here to go to his
  room?

MRS. CURTIS (_casually_)

  I don’t think so; he didn’t say so. (_She gives them a little nod,
  smiling politely, and goes out at the left. They stare after her._)

JESSIE (_still staring after Mrs. Curtis_)

  She’s a very bold type.

MRS. BRIGGS (_seating herself on the settee_)

  Very.

JESSIE (_turning to her_)

  I don’t see how that little goose got away. You were coming from
  that direction and I from just yonder. I suppose he thought we’d say
  something that would embarrass him before her.

MRS. BRIGGS

  I suppose she’s thirty-five. I’ve heard of such people, but I never
  saw one before.

JESSIE

  I regard her as distinctly the dangerous type of adventuress.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Certainly. In the first place, her not having told the child frankly
  that she’s a widow. One of the clerks told _me_ she _was_.

JESSIE

  Oh, she did that to flatter him into believing he’s a real grown-up
  “man of the world” having an “affair”!

MRS. BRIGGS

  So that when he’s sufficiently entangled she can tell him she’s a
  widow--and by that time we don’t know _what_ he’d do! A country
  justice of the peace probably!

JESSIE

  Last night, when we were trying to teach him a little common sense
  about strange people in hotels, what was it he said she was? “An
  angel!”--oh, yes!--“One of heaven’s highest angels.”

MRS. BRIGGS (_grimly_)

  He said he wouldn’t “listen to one of heaven’s highest angels gettin’
  talked against by a lot o’ women!” I’m sure they heard him in the
  next suite. (_She rises._) I suppose you’d better go and see where he
  slipped out to, Jessie. Of course, he’ll try to find _her_ again as
  soon as he can.

JESSIE (_dropping into a chair_)

  I played three times round the course. Do you mind if I just sit here
  a while and rest?

MRS. BRIGGS

  Then why don’t you go to your room?

JESSIE (_laughing feebly_)

  I’m just too tired. I will in a minute. (_With a gesture toward the
  left entrance._) Hadn’t you better--

MRS. BRIGGS

  Keep her in sight? Yes. That’s easier than trying to keep _him_ in
  sight. You’re going up to your room right away, aren’t you?

JESSIE

  Yes, in only a minute. I really think you’d better go, Mamma. He
  might--

MRS. BRIGGS

  No, I’ll see to that! (_She goes out._)

  (_Jessie stares after her for a moment, glances at a wrist watch,
  then rises and looks down the corridor beyond the entrance at
  the right. She appears to derive some satisfaction from what she
  sees there, returns to her chair and sits in a carefully graceful
  attitude, her expression demure. A moment later a young man--he is
  about twenty-five--comes in rather nervously from the right. He
  pauses near the entrance._)

THE YOUNG MAN

  You!

JESSIE (_softly_)

  You!

THE YOUNG MAN

  Is your mother--

JESSIE

  She’s gone.

THE YOUNG MAN (_nervously advancing_)

  I--I--

JESSIE

  I was afraid maybe we couldn’t have this nook to ourselves, after
  all. My absurd little brother was in here, hanging about that
  dreadful Mrs. Curtis, and I was afraid they wouldn’t go away; but
  Mamma scared ’em both off providentially.

THE YOUNG MAN (_moving a chair close to hers and sitting_)

  And so we’re alone! (_He speaks with a sentimental hushedness._) All
  alone!

JESSIE

  All alone, Rupert! This is the only place in the hotel where you
  _can_ be by yourself a while. That’s why I said to meet here.

RUPERT (_nervously_)

  You don’t think your mother’ll be back for a while?

JESSIE

  No; she won’t.

RUPERT

  She hasn’t found out I’ve come, has she?

JESSIE

  She hasn’t the remotest idea, thank heaven! Nobody dreams you’re
  within hundreds of miles of here. That’s one advantage of a big hotel.

RUPERT

  Darling--

JESSIE

  Yes, darling?

  (_The settee moves slightly at this, but it is behind them and they
  do not see it._)

RUPERT

  I can’t understand why your mother dislikes me so.

JESSIE (_gravely_)

  Well, I suppose her feeling about you is--well, she _says_ it’s
  because you’re rather poor and I’m--not.

RUPERT

  But what makes her think I care about you because you’re not?

JESSIE

  Well--

RUPERT (_leaning toward her and lowering his voice_)

  Darling, there’s something I want to ask you--

JESSIE (_leaning toward him and almost whispering_)

  Yes, dearest, what is it?

  (_The settee slowly moves nearer them as their voices become more
  indistinct._)

RUPERT

  I want to ask you--

JESSIE

  Yes?

RUPERT (_with hushed tenderness_)

  Do you _really_ love me, dearest?

JESSIE (_gazing upward, tranced_)

  Oh, dearest, I do!

  (_The settee goes back to where it came from._)

RUPERT

  But you don’t think your mother’ll ever change her mind about me?

JESSIE

  She never does change her mind.

RUPERT

  Then what can we do?

JESSIE (_in a low voice_)

  Darling, there’s something I wouldn’t say for anything in the world
  to anybody but you.

  (_The settee again approaches slightly._)

RUPERT

  Yes?

JESSIE

  I think Mamma really knows you’re not mercenary, but the _real_
  reason for her opposition to you is pretty selfish. I think it’s
  because she doesn’t want me to marry and go away and leave her alone
  in the world.

RUPERT

  But she wouldn’t be. She’d still have the companionship of your young
  brother.

JESSIE (_shaking her head_)

  That’d be the same as none. Lancelot seems to have scarcely _any_
  sense, you see.

  (_The settee once more retires._)

RUPERT

  Then I don’t see what possible hope--

JESSIE (_warning him as she sees someone approaching in the corridor
  to the right_)

  Sh-h-h!

RUPERT (_following her gaze_)

  Who _is_ that old chap?

JESSIE

  It’s old Mr. Ingoldsby. He’s some old friend of mamma’s that happened
  to turn up here.

RUPERT (_moving as if to withdraw_)

  I’d better--

JESSIE (_quickly_)

  No; he doesn’t know you. Sit still. (_She turns toward Mr. Ingoldsby
  with a smile as he enters._) Good afternoon, Mr. Ingoldsby. Did you
  do it in eighty-five again today?

  (_Ingoldsby is a man of fifty-five or, possibly, sixty. He wears neat
  knickerbockers and is otherwise sprightly in his outdoor attire. He
  smiles rather absently as he replies._)

INGOLDSBY

  Eighty-five? No, I--ah--no. I didn’t go round today. Ah--has Mrs.
  Briggs been here?

JESSIE

  Here?

INGOLDSBY

  Yes, I mean--ah--here.

JESSIE

  I think she’s somewhere looking for Lancelot.

INGOLDSBY

  Yes? Ah--I--

JESSIE

  Is there something you’d like me to tell her when I see her?

INGOLDSBY (_going toward the left entrance_)

  No; I--I-- (_He glances at his watch, and looks absently at Jessie._)
  No, I believe I-ah-- (_He departs._)

RUPERT

  Well, I _do_ hope nobody else’ll come poking about like that, because
  I--

JESSIE

  No, darling; we’re alone again now.

RUPERT

  Darling--

JESSIE

  Yes, darling?

RUPERT

  We’ve had such difficulties in managing our little interviews; it
  does seem a precious thing to be near you again.

JESSIE

  Oh, it does!

RUPERT

  If we could only go away together, where it could _always_ be like
  this--

JESSIE (_dreamily_)

  Yes, with the world shut out.

RUPERT

  Why can’t we--

JESSIE

  Hush, darling.

  (_She sees someone approaching in the corridor on the left. He looks
  dolefully in that direction._)

JESSIE

  It’s that dreadful woman.

RUPERT

  I don’t know her.

JESSIE

  She’s been trying to entangle Lancelot, and he’s completely lost what
  slight intelligence he _had_, the little ninny! She’s old enough to
  be his mother.

  (_The settee makes a slight convulsive movement._)

RUPERT

  Sh! She’ll hear you.

  (_Mrs. Curtis enters from the left. She looks about, with a faint
  embarrassment. Jessie stares at her, then speaks coldly._)

JESSIE

  I beg your pardon. Did you leave something when you were here with my
  little brother?

MRS. CURTIS (_smiling constrainedly_)

  Did you happen to see a pair of white gloves?

  (_Rupert rises and looks in his chair._)

JESSIE

  No. There aren’t any here.

MRS. CURTIS

  I _may_ have left them anywhere of course. (_To Rupert_) Don’t
  bother, please. I thought just possibly-- (_She stoops slightly and
  looks behind the settee, and her expression shows a considerable
  illumination._) If I _had_ left anything here I just wanted to see if
  it was still--

JESSIE

  No; there aren’t any gloves here. (_She speaks in a sharp whisper
  to Rupert._) Sit down! (_He does so. Their backs are toward Mrs.
  Curtis._)

MRS. CURTIS

  No. They don’t seem to be. I’m sorry to have disturbed you.

  (_She moves toward the left entrance as she speaks. The settee
  follows her. She checks it with a sudden commanding push._)

JESSIE

  I hardly think my little brother will come back _here_. My mother
  went to look for him.

MRS. CURTIS (_politely_)

  No doubt she’s found him by this time.

  (_She looks from the settee to Jessie and Rupert, and back again; and
  her eyes widen with an intense inward struggle._)

JESSIE (_turning to look at her coolly_)

  Was there anything else?

MRS. CURTIS (_after a moment, during which her inward struggle
  prevents her from replying_) Oh--oh, no! I’m so sorry to have
  disturbed you! (_Her voice threatens to break and she goes out
  hurriedly, at the left._)

JESSIE (_staring after her_)

  Absolutely brazen! She came back after that idiot _boy_! Thought
  _he’d_ probably come back!

RUPERT

  Darling--

JESSIE (_turning to him eagerly_)

  Yes, darling--

RUPERT (_looking over her shoulder_)

  Oh, my goodness! (_He speaks with intense anguish._)

JESSIE (_seizing his hand feverishly_)

  What’s the matter, darling?

RUPERT (_rising_)

  It’s your mother! (_He strides hastily backward out of sight from the
  left entrance._)

JESSIE

  Oh, murder!

RUPERT

  She didn’t see me, but she will if I try to go out there. (_He points
  to the right entrance._)

JESSIE

  She’s coming!

RUPERT

  This is awful! (_His despairing eye falls upon the huge Philippine
  chair in the left rear corner of the room; he rushes to it, turns it
  round, with its back toward the front, and sits in it, concealed
  from view. He speaks in a hoarse whisper._) Darling--

JESSIE

  Hush! (_She has checked an impulse to rise and fly; and now,
  affecting carelessness, she brushes her left sleeve with her right
  hand, crosses her knees, swings her foot, whistles an operatic air
  and looks at the ceiling. Mrs. Briggs enters at the left, frowning.
  Jessie addresses her cheerfully._) Back again, Mamma? Where’s
  Lancelot?

MRS. BRIGGS (_in an annoyed tone_)

  I don’t know. I thought you were going straight to your room.

JESSIE

  Oh, I am.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Have you just been sitting here alone?

JESSIE

  Mrs. Curtis came back a minute ago looking for the child.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Yes; I saw _her_. Wasn’t anyone else--

JESSIE (_carelessly_)

  Oh, yes; that Mr. Ingoldsby was here, too.

MRS. BRIGGS

  He was? (_She looks at her watch and then toward the corridor on the
  left._) You told me you were very tired and were going straight to
  your room.

JESSIE (_casually_)

  Oh, well, I feel rested now.

MRS. BRIGGS

  You should lie down before dressing for dinner.

JESSIE

  Why don’t _you_ do that, Mamma? You know how it brightens you up.

MRS. BRIGGS (_frowning_)

  Brightens me up? Really!

JESSIE

  Oh, I don’t mean like a _terribly_ aged person; but a nap every day’s
  a good thing for everybody.

MRS. BRIGGS (_stiffly_)

  I _took_ a nap after lunch. Really, it’s time you went.

JESSIE

  Oh, I’ll just sit around a while longer. I rather like to just sit
  around and do nothing, like this.

MRS. BRIGGS

  You _said_ you were going, and you ought to do things when you say
  you’re going to do them.

JESSIE

  But _why_? Why can’t I just sit around here a little longer if I want
  to?

MRS. BRIGGS

  Because you said you--

JESSIE

  Oh, what if I did! Haven’t I got a right to change my mind?

MRS. BRIGGS

  I insist on your lying down for half an hour before you dress for
  dinner. What makes you so obstinate about it? Have you any _reason_
  for wishing not to do this simple thing? Is there anything you’re
  trying to conceal from me, Jessie?

JESSIE (_rising hastily_)

  Certainly not!

MRS. BRIGGS (_severely_)

  You haven’t any particular reason for staying here and not going to
  your room as you said you would?

JESSIE

  No!

MRS. BRIGGS

  Then--

JESSIE

  Oh, I’ll go; but I don’t understand why you make such a point of it!

MRS. BRIGGS (_a little flustered_)

  A point of it? I? I’m not making a point of it! I don’t at all,
  except--except for your health.

JESSIE (_going_)

  My _health_! (_She halts._) What nonsense!

MRS. BRIGGS

  Your health is the only thing to consider. You’ve started; why don’t
  you _go_?

JESSIE

  But what’s the _hurry_?

MRS. BRIGGS

  Hurry? Oh, none! I just meant, as you _are_ going, why shouldn’t you
  _go_ and get it over?

JESSIE

  What makes you so queer?

MRS. BRIGGS (_with quiet severity_)

  Queer? You call your mother queer? It seems to me you’re the one
  that’s behaving queerly. Jessie, is there anything you’re trying to--

JESSIE

  No! Don’t get so upset. I’ll go!

  (_She goes out at the left. Mrs. Briggs stares after her for a
  moment; looks in the opposite direction; then seats herself upon the
  settee, and from the midst of a handkerchief which she has crumpled
  in her hand produces a small gold vanity box. She opens it, gazes in
  the tiny mirror, touches her hair, glances right and left, and uses a
  diminutive powder puff quickly; then she closes the box, conceals it
  in her handkerchief again, and hums a song to herself. Mr. Ingoldsby
  enters at the left. He has an air slightly embarrassed._)

MRS. BRIGGS (_as if surprised_)

  Oh!

INGOLDSBY

  Ah--I was here a while ago. It was a little earlier than our--our
  appointment; if I may call it so. (_He laughs nervously._)

MRS. BRIGGS (_smiling_)

  Well, I suppose it _could_ be called an appointment--in a way.

INGOLDSBY

  I--I thought--that is, I’ve noticed this was about the only place in
  the hotel where there aren’t usually a lot of people. I suggested it
  because--because I had something to say--ah--I mean that I thought
  it would be as well to say it in private--as it were. That is, if
  we were alone together, I--ah--that is to say, it’s something I
  couldn’t very well say in--in public, so to speak. I mean it would be
  difficult with other people present.

MRS. BRIGGS (_smiling nervously_)

  Is it something very mysterious, Mr. Ingoldsby?

INGOLDSBY

  I wish you wouldn’t call me that.

MRS. BRIGGS (_seriously_)

  You want me to call you Henry?

INGOLDSBY

  You did once.

MRS. BRIGGS (_rising in some agitation_)

  Yes, but that was pretty long ago.

INGOLDSBY (_sharply_)

  I called you Fannie then.

MRS. BRIGGS (_more agitated_)

  I don’t think we should ever refer to it. When an episode is as long
  buried as--

INGOLDSBY (_his own agitation increasing_)

  Episode? See here, Fannie; you know why I stayed a bachelor. You do
  know.

MRS. BRIGGS (_protesting quickly_)

  No, no! I have no responsibility for that!

INGOLDSBY

  Haven’t you? When you broke your engagement to me--

MRS. BRIGGS (_crying out, though she suppresses the loudness of her
  voice_)

  It was a misunderstanding, Henry.

INGOLDSBY

  It was not. I’ve held my peace in silence all these years because of
  my principles. I wouldn’t refer to such things with you when you had
  become a married woman. But I can speak now. You deliberately broke
  off with me--

MRS. BRIGGS (_choking_)

  I didn’t!

INGOLDSBY (_with a suppressed passion_)

  You did! (_He paces the floor as he goes on._) You decided Lance
  Briggs was the better man, and you sent me my ring and letters
  without a single word explaining why you did it.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Oh!

INGOLDSBY

  You did!

MRS. BRIGGS

  Is it fair to attack me with that now?

INGOLDSBY

  Fair? How _dare_ you speak of _fairness_ to _me_?

MRS. BRIGGS

  But you _knew_ why I did it.

INGOLDSBY (_bitterly_)

  I did indeed! It was simply because you were of a fickle nature. Of
  course you didn’t have the courage to explain _that_.

MRS. BRIGGS (_with great emotion_)

  But you don’t know the pressure, the awful pressure my mother brought
  to bear on me. She simply _made_ me marry him, Henry. It was night
  and day, day and night, week in, week out--

INGOLDSBY

  And you never for one moment had the simple bravery, the simple
  _loyalty_ to the man you’d given your word to--

MRS. BRIGGS

  I was worn out. I was--

INGOLDSBY

  You didn’t care enough for me to--

MRS. BRIGGS

  I _did_!

INGOLDSBY

  No! No! No!

MRS. BRIGGS (_piteously_)

  Henry, you _must_ listen to me! (_She puts her hand on his arm._)

INGOLDSBY (_moving away from her_)

  Why didn’t you say that _then_? Why didn’t--

MRS. BRIGGS

  I loved you--I did, Henry! I simply let my mother break my will and
  wreck our two lives.

INGOLDSBY

  What folly! You were perfectly happy with Briggs. I don’t know _how_
  many people told me you were.

MRS. BRIGGS

  I did my duty, and I tried to do it cheerfully; but the scar was
  always there, Henry.

INGOLDSBY (_harshly_)

  I don’t believe it!

MRS. BRIGGS (_plaintively_)

  It was, Henry. (_She sinks into the chair Jessie has occupied._)

INGOLDSBY (_swallowing_)

  What?

MRS. BRIGGS (_feebly_)

  It was, Henry--the scar was always there. (_Her head droops._)

  (_He walks across the room, then returns to her and looks down upon
  her._)

INGOLDSBY (_swallowing_)

  Do you know what my life has been?

MRS. BRIGGS (_tremulously, not looking up_)

  I--I heard you became very--very prosperous in--in real estate.

INGOLDSBY

  Yes. What’s that to fill a man’s life? Look at the difference! You
  have children to be a comfort to you in your--your--as you approach
  middle age. I have nothing.

MRS. BRIGGS (_pathetically, still looking down_)

  Oh, I’m sure you have something.

INGOLDSBY

  I tell you I have nothing--nothing in the world to make life worth
  living, not a thing on earth! (_He glances about, then sits beside
  her and speaks in a very low voice._) Fannie--Fannie--

  (_The settee approaches a little nearer._)

MRS. BRIGGS (_also in a very low voice_)

  Well?

INGOLDSBY

  Fannie--I--I--Fannie--I-- (_His emotion is difficult to control
  and his voice fades out into a murmur of several slight incoherent
  sounds, whereupon the settee again moves slightly closer._)

MRS. BRIGGS

  Yes, Henry?

INGOLDSBY

  You said your life was wrecked, though you bore it dutifully
  and--and cheerfully. Mine--_my_ life--it was withered!

MRS. BRIGGS (_murmuring_)

  Oh--Henry!

INGOLDSBY

  But, after all, our lives aren’t over.

MRS. BRIGGS (_shaking her down-bent head and protesting in a weak
  voice_)

  Oh, no, no! Don’t begin to talk that way.

INGOLDSBY

  Fannie, I never got over it. As time went on, I took up my work and
  tried to do my part in the world, but--but I never got over it,
  Fannie. I’m not over it now.

MRS. BRIGGS (_turning to him mournfully_)

  Oh, yes, you are!

INGOLDSBY (_shaking his head_)

  I’m not. I still--I still--I still--I still--

  (_The settee again moves a little nearer_.)

MRS. BRIGGS

  No, no.

INGOLDSBY

  I do. I still--I still--

MRS. BRIGGS (_in a faint and tearful protest_)

  No, you don’t, Henry. You only think you do.

INGOLDSBY

  No, I really do. I--I--I care for you yet, Fannie.

MRS. BRIGGS (_recovering herself enough to smile faintly as she
  shakes her head_)

  Oh, my, no!

INGOLDSBY

  Fannie, let’s--let’s save these years that we still have before us.
  Let’s try to make up for that old mistake.

MRS. BRIGGS (_becoming a little brisker_)

  Why, how--how--why, we--why, I couldn’t think of such a thing!

INGOLDSBY (_solemnly_)

  Fannie, I ask you to marry me.

  (_She stares at him; the settee moves an inch nearer._)

MRS. BRIGGS

  What?

INGOLDSBY

  I ask you to marry me.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Why, good gracious! I wouldn’t have my children know that anybody had
  said such a thing to me for all the kingdoms on earth!

INGOLDSBY (_earnestly_)

  They needn’t know it till afterwards.

MRS. BRIGGS (_breathlessly_)

  Afterwards? After--after--

INGOLDSBY

  You’re not going to wreck us both _again_, are you, Fannie?

MRS. BRIGGS (_as in amazement_)

  Why, if I’d dreamed you were going to say anything like _this_ to me
  when you asked me to meet you here this afternoon--

INGOLDSBY (_solemnly_)

  Fannie, I want you to give me your answer, and to do it now. What do
  you say?

MRS. BRIGGS (_feebly, with her hand to her breast_)

  Oh, my!

INGOLDSBY

  Yes; you must.

MRS. BRIGGS

  But I haven’t had time to _think_! Why, I wouldn’t have anybody know
  about this for--

INGOLDSBY

  I want my answer, Fannie--Fannie _dear_!

MRS. BRIGGS (_blankly_)

  _Oh_, dear!

INGOLDSBY

  Fannie, _dearest_! (_He takes her hand._)

MRS. BRIGGS

  Oh, I wouldn’t have anybody know this--

INGOLDSBY

  Dearest, dearest Fannie!

MRS. BRIGGS

  Why, I wouldn’t have anybody know that we--

  (_They are interrupted by a voice from a mysterious and invisible
  source. It is a male and adult voice, loudly and emphatically
  affecting to clear the throat of its origin in the manner of a person
  wishing to attract the attention of some other person._)

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  A-hem! A-a-a-_hem_!

MRS. BRIGGS (_leaping in her chair_)

  Good heavens!

INGOLDSBY (_jumping up_)

  What was that?

MRS. BRIGGS (_rising_)

  Why, it was a man’s voice.

INGOLDSBY

  It was right here in the room with us.

MRS. BRIGGS (_sinking into her chair_)

  Oh, murder!

INGOLDSBY (_staring about the room, notices the Philippine chair with
  its back turned to the front_)

  There’s somebody sitting in that chair! (_He starts toward it
  angrily, but is checked by a suppressed scream from Mrs. Briggs._)

MRS. BRIGGS

  _Don’t!_ I’d _much_ rather never know who it is. (_Rising._) Let’s
  get away! (_She totters._)

INGOLDSBY (_undecided, but very angry_)

  We ought to know who’s spying on us like this.

MRS. BRIGGS (_clutching at him_)

  Oh!

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_indignantly_)

  I’m not spying! This is a public room in a public hotel--

MRS. BRIGGS (_moaning_)

  Oh!

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_continuing_)

  Any guest of this hotel has a right to sit here in peace, and if you
  _will_ go on talking about your private affairs in a public room--

MRS. BRIGGS (_leaning on Ingoldsby’s arm_)

  Oh, my!

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_continuing heatedly_)

  Why, it’s your own fault, not mine. I was only warning you not to go
  any further. I’ve heard enough of other people’s private affairs for
  one afternoon, anyhow.

MRS. BRIGGS (_almost hysterically_)

  Oh, let’s go! (_She swings the reluctant and angry Ingoldsby toward
  the left entrance._) Let’s _go_!

INGOLDSBY (_turning to call back angrily_)

  I don’t know who you are, sir; but when I’ve seen this lady to a--a
  place of safety--I _intend_ to know. I’ll be _back_ here, sir.

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  Fine!

MRS. BRIGGS

  Oh, mercy! (_She moves hastily away from Ingoldsby as Jessie suddenly
  comes in, from the left, confronting them._)

JESSIE (_halting sharply_)

  What in the world’s the matter?

MRS. BRIGGS (_in a shaking voice_)

  Nothing! Nothing at all, Jessie. Why should you think anything’s the
  matter?

JESSIE

  Why, you’re all upset!

MRS. BRIGGS (_trying hard to seem lightly amused, and failing_)

  Not at all--not at all! I was just sitting here a moment with Mr.
  Ingoldsby, chatting over old times and--and then we decided to leave.
  We decided to leave--that’s all. I--I’m--(_Suddenly she starts, and
  with an incoherent exclamation looks behind her. Then she faces
  Jessie and, with a painful effort to smile, completes her sentence._)
  I’m all right.

JESSIE

  Yes, you seem so. Mr. Ingoldsby, will you kindly tell me what you’ve
  been saying to my mother to upset her so?

MRS. BRIGGS

  But I’m not--

INGOLDSBY (_checking her sharply_)

  Miss Briggs, I should not be likely to say anything disrespectful to
  my old and dear friend, your mother. (_Looking around angrily._) The
  truth is, there’s an eavesdropping scoundrel concealed in this room,
  and I--

JESSIE (_alarmed_)

  What! Oh, I’m _sure_ there isn’t.

INGOLDSBY

  There is! An eavesdropping--

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_angrily_)

  This is a public room, I told you. How can I help it if you--

INGOLDSBY

  I can’t stand this. He’s behind that chair.

  (_He breaks away from Mrs. Briggs and Jessie, who both clutch at
  him._)

JESSIE (_crying out_)

  Don’t! _Please_ don’t!

MRS. BRIGGS (_simultaneously_)

  Henry! Don’t!

  (_But Ingoldsby has already reached the Philippine chair that has its
  back turned toward the front of the stage; he seizes Rupert by the
  collar and drags him forth. Rupert is horrified._)

INGOLDSBY

  Come out of there, you scoundrel. Come out to the light of day.

RUPERT (_hastily_)

  I didn’t do it. It wasn’t _me_.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Rupert Smith!

JESSIE (_dolefully_)

  Oh, goodness!

INGOLDSBY (_hotly_)

  What do you mean by terrorizing a lady?

RUPERT

  I didn’t! I didn’t say a _word_! I _was_ behind there, but I couldn’t
  help it. It wasn’t _my_ voice talking to you.

INGOLDSBY

  Then who was it?

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  If you’re anxious for more witnesses, I suggest that you look under
  the settee.

MRS. BRIGGS (_changing her mind as she is in the act of sinking down
  upon the settee_)

  What!

JESSIE

  Look at it!

  (_Mrs. Briggs screams faintly, as the settee moves rapidly to the
  left entrance, evidently meaning to leave the room._)

INGOLDSBY (_to Rupert_)

  Stop that thing! Catch it!

  (_They seize the settee just as it is disappearing into the corridor.
  They drag it back into the room._)

RUPERT (_trying to lift the settee_)

  Come out from under there!

INGOLDSBY

  Come out, now!

THE SETTEE

  I won’t! You lea’ me alone!

INGOLDSBY

  Both together now--heave!

  (_They heave, and the settee yields, disclosing Lancelot with his
  previously smooth hair disheveled and his clothes well rumpled._)

MRS. BRIGGS (_astonished_)

  Lancelot! Oh, gracious me!

INGOLDSBY (_to Lancelot_)

  Shame on you!

RUPERT

  Yes, shame on you!

LANCELOT (_resentfully_)

  Well, you _would_ get me; but I’ll make you sorry you did it, both of
  you! (_He rises, brushing himself and adjusting his attire._)

INGOLDSBY (_irritably_)

  Don’t you know better than to frighten ladies and eavesdrop and--

LANCELOT (_warmly_)

  I was abs’lootly honorable, because I couldn’t help it, and you none
  of you ever gave me a single chance to get away. _My_ conduct is the
  only one here that hasn’t got a stain on it or anything. (_He turns
  hotly upon Mrs. Briggs and Jessie._) I got nothing to reproach myself
  with, but I’d just like to know what either of you got to say for
  yourselves _now_ about the way you been talkin’ about Mrs. Curtis! If
  you either of you ever just _dare_ to soil your lips with even her
  _name_ again, why, I know more _things_--

MRS. BRIGGS

  Be quiet, Lancelot.

LANCELOT

  Quiet? _Me?_ (_He laughs shortly with an irony he could not express
  in words._) In the first place, don’t call me Lancelot any more. You
  know how I hate that name, and I been tryin’ to break you of it long
  enough--and now I will! I don’t care what you call me, but don’t call
  me _that_!

JESSIE (_pointing to the settee_)

  How long were you under there?

LANCELOT (_sternly_)

  Long enough to get mighty tired of hearin’ people callin’ each other
  “Darling”! Good gracious! You don’t think I _enjoyed_ it, do you?
  Why, what I heard while I was under there--well, I got a pretty
  strong constitution, but--

MRS. BRIGGS

  Hush! Oh, me!

INGOLDSBY

  The voice that spoke didn’t sound like Lancelot’s voice--

LANCELOT (_turning upon him ominously_)

  Did you hear me say not to call me Lancelot? I mean you, too.

INGOLDSBY (_with hasty meekness_)

  I’ll call you anything you like; but I want to know who it was that
  _spoke_. You say it wasn’t you--

LANCELOT (_very emphatically_)

  No, it wasn’t. I wouldn’t ’a’ told you to look under the settee,
  would I?

INGOLDSBY (_with a gesture toward Rupert_)

  And this gentleman says it wasn’t he.

RUPERT

  Why, it spoke again after I came out.

INGOLDSBY (_quite bewildered_)

  So it did. Then who--

LANCELOT

  I don’t care who it was; what I want to point out, right here and
  now, before we go any further, why, I’m in a position to say that
  I got some plans for my future life and I don’t expect to have any
  intaference with ’em from my family, or from anybody that wants
  to _join_ my family either. All up to now, I’ve spent my life in
  a dependent position, so to speak, but after what’s happened here
  lately, and knowin’ all the _things_ I _do_ know--

  (_His voice has risen during this oration, and Jessie, after a glance
  to the left entrance, attempts to moderate him._)

JESSIE

  Hush! There’s somebody--

LANCELOT

  I don’t care _who’s_ comin’, I’m goin’ to say my say. I expect to
  settle my own future in my own way, and any lady that I may decide to
  make _another_ member of this family--

JESSIE

  _Hush!_

  (_The eyes of Lancelot follow hers to the left entrance and his stern
  manner is instantly softened._)

LANCELOT

  It’s her.

  (_Mrs. Curtis comes in, but stops uncertainly near the entrance._)

MRS. CURTIS

  Oh! I’m afraid I-- (_She turns to go._)

LANCELOT

  Wait. I was just talkin’ to ’em about you.

MRS. CURTIS

  You were, Mr. Briggs?

LANCELOT (_to the others, reprovingly_)

  _She_ never calls me Lancelot. Missuz--Missuz Curtis, I didn’t have
  to tell ’em; they’d already found out you were a widow. We don’t need
  to bother about that anyway.

MRS. CURTIS

  _We_ don’t?

LANCELOT

  I’ve found out a good _many_ things since I saw you, and I’m goin’ to
  tell you the whole biznuss.

MRS. BRIGGS

  Shame!

JESSIE (_with a despairing laugh_)

  What would it matter? There’s somebody _else_ here that knows “the
  whole biznuss”!

MRS. CURTIS (_struck by this_)

  What did you say, Miss Briggs?

INGOLDSBY (_warmly_)

  She made a sensible remark, madam. There is a person concealed in
  this room--

MRS. CURTIS (_impulsively_)

  Oh, dear! How did you know?

ALL THE OTHERS

  What?

MRS. CURTIS

  Nothing.

INGOLDSBY

  All right! (_To Rupert._) I think I know now where he is, and I’m
  going to have him out.

MRS. CURTIS (_gasping, then imploringly_)

  _Please_ stop!

INGOLDSBY (_halting_)

  Why?

MRS. CURTIS (_weakly_)

  It’s a friend of mine.

LANCELOT (_apprehensively_)

  A friend of yours?

MRS. CURTIS

  I--I’ll answer for him. He’ll never mention--ah--anything. He really
  wouldn’t be interested. He doesn’t know any of you.

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  No; and doesn’t care to!

INGOLDSBY (_angrily_)

  Now, I _will_--

MRS. CURTIS

  _Please_ don’t!

INGOLDSBY

  I mean to know who he is.

MRS. CURTIS (_pleading_)

  Please! If you found him, you’d only see a total stranger to you. But
  he _wouldn’t_ be a stranger to quite a lot of people in this hotel
  that _I_ know.

INGOLDSBY (_now shaking his head_)

  I’m afraid I don’t see it.

MRS. CURTIS (_in a faltering voice_)

  He’s just here for one day and we--we didn’t want anyone to know
  it. I had so many engagements I could only take a short walk in the
  country with him this morning and--and promise to meet him here at
  five this afternoon.

LANCELOT (_who has been staring at her painfully_) But--but--see here!

MRS. CURTIS

  Yes, I tried to get you to run away and dance with some nice young
  thing.

LANCELOT (_pathetically_)

  So you could be here with--him?

MRS. CURTIS

  I--I believe so.

LANCELOT (_dismally_)

  Oh, my!

INGOLDSBY

  Madam, what you say doesn’t excuse this person’s eavesdropping.

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_belligerently_)

  Why doesn’t it? A lady’s got a right to keep her engagement a secret
  as long as she wants to, hasn’t she? There are people in this hotel
  that would know all about it if they saw her with me. (_With some
  bitterness._) That’s why she said to meet her here, because it’s so
  quiet!

INGOLDSBY

  That doesn’t excuse--

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  It’s more your fault than anybody else’s. I was awake all last night
  on a noisy train, and I was quietly _asleep_ here--till you woke me
  up.

INGOLDSBY

  Till _who_ woke you up?

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  Till _you_ did. I never knew a man that made so much noise about
  proposing a second marriage.

JESSIE (_amazed_)

  Oh, Mamma!

MRS. BRIGGS (_with severe dignity_)

  I’ll speak to you and Mr. Rupert Smith after dinner. Henry, I don’t
  see the propriety of continuing an argument with this interloper,
  whoever he may be. (_She takes Ingoldsby’s arm._)

JESSIE

  No. Let’s _do_ get away from here! (_She moves toward the left
  entrance with Rupert._)

INGOLDSBY (_looking back, as he follows with Mrs. Briggs; speaks
  reprovingly_)

  I hope you have some shame for your conduct, sir.

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  Bless you, my children!

INGOLDSBY (_infuriated_)

  Now, I’ll-- (_He turns to go back._)

MRS. BRIGGS (_restraining him_)

  Henry!

  (_They go on the left entrance. Jessie and Rupert have passed out
  into the corridor._)

LANCELOT

  Did he say “a lady’s got a right to keep her--her _engagement_--a
  secret”?

MRS. CURTIS

  Yes.

LANCELOT

  To--to--to you?

MRS. CURTIS

  Yes, dear.

LANCELOT (_piteously_)

  Oh--oh, pshaw!

MRS. BRIGGS (_calling back_)

  Lancelot!

LANCELOT (_meekly_)

  Yes’m.

  (_He goes dismally across to the left entrance and pauses. Ingoldsby
  and Mrs. Briggs have withdrawn, preceding him._)

MRS. CURTIS (_as he pauses_)

  What is it, Mr. Briggs?

LANCELOT (_swallowing_)

  Noth--nothin’. (He goes out.)

MRS. CURTIS (_turning, after a moment’s faintly smiling meditation_)

  You poor thing!

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE (_in an aggrieved tone_)

  Well, I should say I am!

  (_She goes to the Philippine chair, near the right rear corner, and,
  moving a smaller chair close to it, seats herself and addresses the
  invisible person, who is evidently sitting in the shelter of the big
  chair._)

MRS. CURTIS

  After all, there’s nobody else here just _now_, darling.

THE MYSTERIOUS VOICE

  No. We’re alone, darling.

MRS. CURTIS

  You poor darling!

  (_She glances about, then impulsively leans behind the huge back of
  the Philippine chair as the curtain descends._)



Dorothy’s Neighbors

A brand new comedy in four acts, by Marie Doran, author of “The New
Co-Ed,” “Tempest and Sunshine,” and many other successful plays.
4 males, 7 females. The scenes are extremely easy to arrange; two
plain interiors and one exterior, a garden, or, if necessary, the two
interiors will answer. Costumes modern. Plays 2-1/2 hours.

The story is about vocational training, a subject now widely
discussed; also, the distribution of large wealth.

Back of the comedy situation and snappy dialogue there is good
logic and a sound moral in this pretty play, which is worthy the
attention of the experienced amateur. It is a clean, wholesome play,
particularly suited to high school production.

                                                        Price, 30 cents.


Miss Somebody Else

A modern play in four acts by Marion Short, author of “The
Touchdown,” etc. 6 males, 10 females. Two interior scenes. Costumes
modern. Plays 2-1/4 hours.

This delightful comedy has gripping dramatic movements, unusual
character types, a striking and original plot and is essentially
modern in theme and treatment. The story concerns the adventures of
Constance Darcy, a multi-millionaire’s young daughter. Constance
embarks on a trip to find a young man who had been in her father’s
employ and had stolen a large sum of money. She almost succeeds, when
suddenly all traces of the young man are lost. At this point she
meets some old friends who are living in almost want and, in order to
assist them through motives benevolent, she determines to sink her
own aristocratic personality in that of a refined but humble little
Irish waitress with the family that are in want. She not only carries
her scheme to success in assisting the family, but finds romance and
much tense and lively adventure during the period of her incognito,
aside from capturing the young man who had defrauded her father. The
story is full of bright comedy lines and dramatic situations and
is highly recommended for amateur production. This is one of the
best comedies we have ever offered with a large number of female
characters. The dialogue is bright and the play is full of action
from start to finish; not a dull moment in it. This is a great comedy
for high schools and colleges, and the wholesome story will please
the parents and teachers. We strongly recommend it.

                                                        Price, 30 cents.


Purple and Fine Linen

An exceptionally pretty comedy of Puritan New England, in three acts,
by Amita B. Fairgrieve and Helena Miller. 9 male, 5 female characters.

This is the Lend A Hand Smith College prize play. It is an admirable
play for amateurs, is rich in character portrayal of varied types and
is not too difficult while thoroughly pleasing.

                                                        Price, 30 cents.


(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced)

  SAMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York City
  New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed
  Free on Request



TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:


  Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_.

  Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.





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